Total Drama Chris
by Frank15
Summary: A year after Total Drama Island, Chris has the 22 contestants return for more horrible challenges. Heather struggles with her past misdeeds, Lindsay struggles not to be stupid, and a lot more involving your favorite campers in a new season of the show!
1. Day 1, Part 1: Like Kicking a Dog

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 1: Day 1: Part 1: Like Kicking a Dog**

**Disclaimer**: _Total Drama Island _is not mine. The characters are not mine.

**Inspiration**: Heck, even idea for such a story is largely inspired by **The Kobold Necromancer**. Seriously… I'd recommend reading his stories _Total Drama Comeback _and _Total Drama Battlegrounds._ The first of those is even complete, so you don't have to wait for updates and such!

**Warning**: The winner from the first season, or at least the winner from the Canadian and US versions, is mentioned, so if you have not seen the end of the first season, and don't want to be spoiled… well, just read at your own risk.

**Pairings**: The standard lot of Duncan and Courtney, Gwen and Trent, Geoff and Bridgette, Owen and Izzy, and Lindsay and Tyler. There may also be other pairings, but I wouldn't want to ruin any surprises, so those will be kept under wraps for now. Also no promises that the five canon pairings above will necessarily be in tact by the end of the story either, so a fair heads-up on that front.

**Note**: This takes place about a year after the original _Total Drama Island. Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Island _and _Total Drama Action _never occurred.

**

* * *

**

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, making loud gestures as he started speaking. "Last season, on _Total Drama Island, _we had chills. We had spills. A lot of spills. In fact, the spills were my favorite part! We had eleven boys and eleven girls, competing for a chance to win $100,000! Some fell in love. Some grew to hate one another."

Chris pulled out a headshot of Bridgette. "Some were loved by all." Chris, looking dejected, threw the picture into the lake, as he whipped one out of Heather. "Some were despised by everyone. Personally, those contestants made for better TV. But in the end, Owen won the $100,000, and as promised, he threw a big yacht party and invited everyone."

Chris scowled. "Except for yours truly." Chris threw his hands up in the air and started pacing on the dock. "Sore winner. But this time, the twenty-two contestants are back. Sure, we had some people sign up for the show, but test audiences seemed to want more of the same twenty-two who were here last season, so, thanks to some fine print in the contracts they signed last year, they're coming back again for another season, for a chance to win $1 million, on _**Total! Drama! Chris!"**_

* * *

Chris was still standing on the Dock of Shame, looking toward the camera. "Welcome back to _Total Drama Chris, _the sequel that's so awesome, I named it after, well, me!" Chris laughed to himself. "And here comes the first boat with our first camper, Lindsay!"

Lindsay stepped off the boat onto the dock, and looked around. "Did everyone get voted off already? Does this mean I win?"

Chris looked annoyed. "No, you didn't win, at least not yet. You're the first one to arrive."

"Bummer." Lindsay looked confused and irritated. "Kyle, you didn't invite Heather back this season, did you?"

"It's Chris. And I'm sorry to say, but we did," Chris said with a mean smirk on his face.

"Well, I'm going to show her that she can't boss me around this time! Right after I find someone who can tell her off."

"Well, Lindsay, maybe this person can. Here's boat number two, with our second camper to arrive, Gwen!"

Gwen got off her boat and onto the dock, looking pissed. "I hate the fine print," she grumbled.

Lindsay looked a bit confused. "I don't think Gail likes me, Kyle."

Chris was looking more annoyed. "It's Chris."

Gwen looked confused an annoyed. "I probably don't want to know."

Chris pointed out to the lake. "But you probably do want to know who's on boat number three, and if Internet polls are worth anything, our fan favorite from last season, everyone's favorite bad boy, Duncan!"

Duncan arrived on the dock, and he and Gwen high-fived, greeting each other. "Gwen, nice to see ya'!"

"Back at you," Gwen said, giving Duncan a small punch in the arm.

Chris was watching and loving it. "I'm sure Courtney would have loved to have seen that, but for now, we'll have to settle for that girl who is clumsy as Lindsay is stupid, Bridgette!"

"Hey!" Lindsay shouted. Neither Gwen nor Duncan looked too excited over Bridgette's arrival, though.

"Hey guys," Bridgette greeted as she stepped onto the dock, though being mostly ignored.

"Hey Brooke!" Lindsay shouted, waving at Bridgette. Bridgette just smiled, seeming not to worry about Lindsay getting her name wrong.

Chris pointed back out to the lake. "Next to arrive looks like Courtney. Yeah, we tried to avoid having her return for… "personal" reasons, but apparently her lawyer out-fine printed us, and she's back." Chris shuddered.

"Duncan!" Courtney shouted, running over to give Duncan a tight hug.

"Princess!" Duncan shouted back, hugging Courtney back, with the other contestants watching happily… at least until Courtney realized she was being watched, then backed down from Duncan.

"Don't touch me," Courtney whined, pushing herself away from Duncan.

Bridgette giggled. "It's OK, Courtney. Everyone already knows that you like Duncan." Courtney turned really red.

Chris pointed back out to the lake. "Don't look back now, 'cause here's Tyler!"

Lindsay waved, and Tyler waved back, except he wasn't paying close enough attention to where he stepped, and he tripped as he stepped onto the dock, falling into Duncan.

"Watch it, bud." Duncan glared at Tyler, who was looking worried.

Lindsay watched, and was confused. "Can you guys remind me which of you is Tyler? I lost track when you two crashed." Tyler looked saddened as Duncan rolled his eyes.

"This one's mine!" Courtney yanked Duncan from under Tyler, comforting him. "You can have that… leftover," she said with a disgusted look on her face.

"Aww, thank you, Candace. You're so smart."

Courtney slapped her face. "It's Courtney."

Lindsay looked confused. "What did I call you?"

"Candace. My name is Courtney."

After a few seconds, Lindsay looked like she finally understood. "Oh… sorry, Courtney."

Duncan sneered. "It's not really worth trying, Princess. She's too stupid to possibly remember five minutes from now."

"I wish **you** would learn my name," Courtney said, but then noticed that Lindsay started crying, and walked over to Lindsay. "Are you OK? Did you hurt yourself?"

"David called me stupid!"

Courtney rolled her eyes, then started patting her on the back. "Don't worry about that ogre. He can be a jerk sometimes."

"Thanks Kacie," Lindsay said, smiling at Courtney. "But who's Ogre?"

"I'm sorry, that's Duncan." Lindsay was looking more confused than ever.

"So wait… is his name Duncan or Ogre? I'd like to get it right."

"It's Duncan, but… you know, you shouldn't worry too much about it." Courtney walked back over to Duncan, not looking very happy. "Duncan, we really don't need to be making enemies here. That's not the way to win this game!"

"Chill, Princess," Duncan smirked. Courtney just rolled her eyes.

Chris was looking annoyed. "You know, we have a show to do here? May we continue, please?"

"Why does it matter," Gwen started. "Don't you edit the shows before going to air, anyway?"

"Yes we do," Chris said. "But the less we have to edit, the less money it costs us, so I would rather make this scene as seamless as we can. So now, here comes our next boat, carrying Harold!"

Courtney started snarling at the mere mention of his name. Duncan looked pissed as well. When Harold stepped onto the dock, walking toward Chris, Duncan tripped him.

"Idiot!"

"Serves you right," Courtney said, smiling. "You don't really deserve to be here."

Gwen and Bridgette looked nervous about the confrontation. Bridgette backed closer to Gwen, but Gwen looked annoyed by this, and walked away from Bridgette.

"Christy, I thought you didn't want to make enemies here," Lindsay innocently asked.

"Oh, shut up!" Courtney shouted to Lindsay. Lindsay started sobbing again. "Crap." Courtney left Harold for a moment to go over to Lindsay. "I'm sorry about that, Lindsay. I was just… urgh! That guy has made my life so miserable, I couldn't even tell you."

_Heather, _Lindsay thought to herself, though not mentioning it out loud. "I hate those people."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "I hope you're not turning Lindsay against Harold too, now."

Chris was looking more annoyed. "Can we please put a hold on this happy reunion? Our ninth contestant is arriving, Trent!"

"Eighth!" Courtney spat out.

Trent stepped onto the dock, looking worried, but when he saw Gwen, who looked elated, he cheered up and went over to see her.

"I've missed you so much!" Trent said as he started holding Gwen in his arms.

"I've missed you too!" Gwen had a big smile across her face.

"And don't blink or you'll miss them, but here come our next two contestants, Katie and Sadie!"

Katie and Sadie were squeeing the whole boat ride, and the boat captain, looking very stressed out, threw them onto the dock, where the duo continued squeeing.

Lindsay looked at them, then sat down, looking down at her knees. Courtney and Gwen were holding their ears, hoping Katie and Sadie would soon get this out of their systems.

"So, oh my God, this place looks just like it did last year, Sadie," Katie hyperactively told Sadie.

"Oh, I know, it's so cute," Sadie started. "Except Chris. Chris is back again this year."

"Oh, I know! I really wish we had a new host this year." Chris was clearly getting more agitated.

"And Courtney's back. She was mean to me last year."

"I know! I used to think Courtney was nice, but just bossy, but then you told me how she kicked you off the island for no reason, and then, ooh, I was even angrier at her than you were, and she so doesn't deserve to be here, and she-"

"She threw apples at my head!" Courtney shouted in Katie's face.

Katie rolled her eyes. "She apologized."

"Yeah, I apologized," Sadie added in.

"And do you need to be so loud, Courtney? Hello, volume control!"

"Yeah, volume control."

"Yeah, volume control," Gwen said sarcastically to the duo.

"See Sadie? Gwen gets us." Gwen just rolled her eyes.

"Can we move on?" Chris asked, still frustrated. "Next to arrive is Geoff!"

"Geoff!" Bridgette shouted. As Geoff made his way onto the dock, Bridgette glomped him.

"Nice to see ya', babe!" Geoff said, as he and Bridgette started sucking face. And everyone except for Katie, Sadie, and Duncan looked disgusted.

Duncan looked to Courtney, shifting his eyebrow. "Giving you any ideas?"

Courtney responded with a kick. "Pig."

"Aww, they're so sweet," Katie started. "I wish I had a boy I could make out with. Then my life would be even more perfect!"

"Yeah, and then I could have a boy to make out with, and we can make out with our boys together!" The two girls squeed some more.

Gwen raised an eyebrow toward Katie and Sadie. "That is disturbing."

"Yes it is," Chris started, "but enough complaining, because here comes our big winner from last year, Owen!"

Owen stepped onto the dock, then ran over to Chris. "I'm so excited to be back again! So excited that I can win again! This is gonna' be awesome!"

Chris was finally smiling. "Owen, my man! Good to have you back!"

"Orson!" Lindsay ran up to Owen, hugging him. All of the other contestants were welcoming him back as well.

Chris pointed back to the lake. "Moving right along, it's everyone's favorite wild and crazy guy, Noah!"

"I am not!" Noah shouted back. As he stepped onto the dock, most of the contestants ignored him. Except…

"Eeeiii! Noah! You're back!" Katie was jumping up and down, using Noah's shoulders as a springboard for her hands, startling him.

"Yeah," Sadie started. "I remember how much fun we had last year hanging out at the Playa' de Losers."

"I know! It's so exciting to see you again!" The two girls started squeeing some more, as Noah looked like he wanted to kill himself.

"Can we get back on task here, people," Chris said, feeling more frustrated again. "Our next contestant: DJ!"

DJ waved to everyone as he stepped onto the dock, getting lots of welcomes.

"Why are you doing this anyway," Noah asked Chris.

"Doing what?"

"Introducing us again. Everyone already knows who we are. They watched us last season. Same twenty-two contestants and all?"

Chris angrily shoved Noah off the dock, with Duncan cheering behind him. "Anyway, our next contestant, Eva!"

Eva was scowling as she arrived. She did not say anything, and no one dared say a word to her, particularly Bridgette, who Eva just so happened to plant herself beside.

"Thank you for shutting up," Chris said to the campers, though still annoyed. "Next up is Ezekiel!"

Right as Ezekiel nervously stepped foot onto the dock, Eva rushed up and punched him into the water.

"Still think girls are weak?" she asked, sneering.

"I think he's drowning," Bridgette said, walking over to the side of the dock, looking worried. "I'd better get him out."

But there was no need, for Ezekiel was already being rescued, as Izzy brought him onto the dock decked out in scuba attire.

"Hi guys! It's like sooo great to be back here again!"

"Um… Izzy," Chris said, scratching his head. "Where's the boat that was taking you here?"

"Oh, it sunk."

"What?"

"Yeah, it sunk. Oh, I should start from the beginning. I was on the boat, and it looked like the captain was having so much fun, so I went up to ask the captain if I could steer the boat for a while, but he said no, so I pretended I was hurt right outside the room so he would come and help me, then I threw him aside and locked the door so I could steer the boat for a while, but it turned out to be harder than it looked, uh-huh. So I accidentally crashed it, it started sinking, and took a scuba suit onboard to swim here. Oh, and don't worry, I left the captain on another boat, so he's safe."

"Wait," Courtney started. "If you were able to get the captain on another boat, why didn't you just take that boat here?"

Izzy had a thoughtful look on her face before answering. "There was an evil presence on the boat." Courtney shrugged.

"No one cares," Chris said. "People just want to see more of me, but let's continue anyway: up next is Beth!"

Beth stepped onto the dock, but something was different. Except no one really noticed except…

"Betty!" Lindsay shouted. "You got your braces off!"

"I know!" Beth exclaimed. "Isn't that great?"

Lindsay and Beth started squeeing, which led to Katie and Sadie squeeing again when they noticed.

"I don't want to be on their team," Noah stated, looking annoyed.

"No one else does, either," Chris stated. "Someone's gotta' be, though. But for now, let's have something more pleasant to enjoy: Justin."

Justin arrived with his shirt off. All of the girls, except for Bridgette, who was still busy making out with Geoff, were looking lovesick in his direction. Owen was too, for that matter. Duncan, Trent, Tyler, and Harold were looking quite annoyed with their girlfriends. Justin winked and pointed; most of the girls fainted, except for Courtney and Gwen.

"Guess we should be glad our girls have some bit of willpower?" Trent asked Duncan. Duncan just shrugged.

"Good news, Gwen," Chris stated. "Here comes Cody!"

"He's nice," Gwen stated. Trent looked worried by this.

"Hey, ladies," Cody said, stepping onto the dock. "The Codemeister's back, and if memory serves me, some of you are still single." Cody saw Trent looking nervous. "I'm not after Gwen anymore. You can relax." Trent tried, but was still nervously looking over at Cody.

Chris pointed back out to the lake. "Here comes everyone's favorite loudmouth, Leshawna!"

"What'd you say?" Leshawna angrily asked as she stepped onto the dock, headed for Chris.

"I said welcome back, please enjoy your stay, and such."

Leshawna was still looking angry with Chris, but she was more bothered by someone breathing down her neck: Harold.

"What're you doin', white boy?" Leshawna didn't seem too pleased, and even less so when Harold leapt into her arms.

"I'm back for your pleasure, Leshawna." Harold was quite happy, until Leshawna dropped him. "What was that for?"

"Look, Harold. I know what happened that night, but… well, I don't know what I was doing. I was just caught up in the moment."

"What are you saying?" Harold asked, worried about the answer.

"I'm just sayin' that we're not going out anymore. That's all. It's time to move on."

"Oh." Harold looked down, but then beamed right back. "Can we be friends, at least?"

"Sure thing," Leshawna said warmly. Harold seemed happy as ever.

"I'll win you back!"

Lindsay, meanwhile, had been desperately trying to keep track of how many contestants have arrived, and how many are left, though it hadn't hit her by the time the last contestant arrived.

"And I'm sorry, guys," Chris started, "but all of your fun and games are over, for our final contestant is now arriving: the horrible Heather. Feel free to boo and hiss. It makes for good TV!"

Most of the contestants were booing and hissing lightly. Gwen, Leshawna, and Beth were notably getting more into it than everyone else. Lindsay seemed oblivious to who was arriving, and was confused over what all the booing was about.

Heather, with a full head of beautiful long hair once more, stepped onto the dock, and just as with Ezekiel, Eva punched her right into the water. Gwen, Leshawna, and Beth were loudly cheering "Eva! Eva! Eva!" though once again, Heather was rescued by Izzy, who was already in the water.

"When did she sneak back in the water, anyway?" Chris asked, with his hand on his chin.

"Guys," Izzy started, "I know it's Heather, and she's all evil incarnate and stuff, but can't we settle for non-lethal forms of pranking her?"

"No," stated Gwen, surprisingly dark.

"Um… I think we can settle for that," Beth said, shrugging.

Heather had come to, and was about to say something, but with Eva staring her down, she backed down.

"Welcome back, everyone, to _Total Drama Chris!"_

"You're kidding, right?" Gwen asked. _"Total Drama Chris?"_ Gwen started laughing.

"_Total Drama Chris?" _Lindsay asked, confused. "What does that mean? Who's Chris?" Lindsay looks at Cody. "Are you Chris? Does this mean you're the star this season? Why should the rest of us even bother playing if we know you're going to win?"

"**I'm **Chris!" Chris shouted, getting in Lindsay's face. "This season has been named after me! Chris Maclaine! Since, after all, I'm the star, and I'm the reason people tune in week after week. To watch **me!**"

"Actually," Duncan started, "I'm pretty sure I was the most popular contestant last season. We have Internet access and all. We can see what they're saying about the show."

"Shut up!" Chris whined. "It's photo time! I want a good shot of you all for promotional material. So I would like for all of you to stand at the edge of the dock-"

"Oh, no!" Courtney started. "We're not falling for that again. Not this year."

Lindsay cocked her head. "Fall for what?"

"We were too heavy, and the dock collapsed. Especially me." Owen giggled.

"OK, fine," Chris said, annoyed. "How about we take the picture at the old bonfire site?"

"Fine with me," Courtney said. Everyone else agreed, and walked over to the bonfire site, and gathered around, mostly standing with friends. Except for Lindsay, who was off to the side, rubbing her boot against the ground.

"Can you get in closer, Lindsay?" Chris said, annoyed. Lindsay moved closer to everyone else, but right as Chris was about to snap, she stepped aside when she saw a shiny penny on the ground… right as Chris opened a trap door sending everyone but Lindsay into a water pit below.

"Gotcha'!" Chris laughed at himself. "I knew I couldn't get you guys with the dock again, so I had that trap door installed. Worked like a charm." Chris was annoyed, however, when he noticed Lindsay, dry on land. "Lindsay, you moved!"

"Sorry, Chip." Chris wanted desperately for her to plunge down with the other contestants, and went to push her… except she saw another shiny penny and quickly moved out of the way just in time for Chris to fall into the pit himself. She looked down the pit when she heard the splash. "Are you OK down there?"

**

* * *

**

Confession Outhouse

Lindsay: I don't know why Chris was yelling at me. It was almost like he was upset that I didn't fall into the water.

Chris: My hair! Look what she did to my hair!

* * *

The twenty-one contestants were eventually pulled out of the water pit with Lindsay's help, though Lindsay pushed Heather back into the pit. And Gwen later pushed Chris back into the pit. Then Eva pushed him back into the pit. Then Duncan, Courtney, Trent… a lot of people had fun taking turns pushing Chris back into the pit. Eventually, even Chef Hatchet came down to see what was taking everyone so long for lunch, only to push Chris into the pit himself.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: I want my paycheck.

Heather: I really wanted to hurt Lindsay… but… (Heather starts crying)

* * *

Eventually, Chris was let back up for good. "How kind of you not to push me back in an eleventh time. Seriously, that was lame. Even if it was funny the first time-which it wasn't-when you keep repeating a joke, it gets lame."

Cody piped up. "Unless you keep repeating it until it becomes funny again."

"Shush," Chris snarled. "I suppose now I should divide you up into teams. If I call your name, please stand to my left."

"Eva."

"Noah."

"Justin."

"DJ."

"Beth."

"Duncan."

"Katie and Sadie."

"Geoff."

"Bridgette."

"And Gwen. Would you eleven please step over to my left. From hereon out, you will be known as the Killer Chrises!"

"Killer Chrises?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow? "And you forgot Trent."

"And me!" Courtney screamed! "You forgot me!"

"I did," Chris said, feigning surprise. "Whoops. Must've made a mistake."

"You're going to pay for this, Chris! I'm going to call my lawyer!"

"Can you call for me too, Courtney?" Gwen asked.

"Me too!" Lindsay said, bubbling. "I want to sue too!"

"Tyler's on our team, though," Courtney said. "You should be happy."

"Oh." Lindsay looked dejected. "I wanted to play the suing game with you and Gretchen, though."

"Urgh," Chris complained. "You guys aren't supposed to know who's on the other team until I announce it!"

"I didn't know who would be on our team!" Lindsay cheered.

"Anyone with half a brain could've figured it out," Courtney said. Then she felt a pang of guilt and looked to Lindsay. "Um, I'm sure you could have too if you had a little more time to figure it out." Heather and Duncan were both trying to figure out what Courtney was doing.

Chris, quite annoyed, continued. "And may I have the following eleven people to my right:"

"Ezekiel."

"Cody."

"Leshawna."

"Heather."

"Harold."

"Owen."

"Izzy."

"Trent."

Courtney interrupted, with her arms crossed. "Tyler, Lindsay, and me. You really don't have to drag this out, Chris. We know who's left"

"Actually," Chris said, sounding very annoyed, "it was Lindsay, Tyler, then you. Order matters! Anyway, you all are the Screaming Pansies."

"Wow," Lindsay said, looking amazed. "Tyler's on my team! Yeah!"

"I… already told you that," Courtney stated, trying not to get upset.

"You must be, like, psychotic, since you knew he would be on our team!"

Izzy bumped her way into the conversation, quite literally crashing into Lindsay. "Hey, I'm psychotic too!"

Lindsay was deep in thought for a moment, when she came to a conclusion. "You two must have known each other if you're both psychotic!"

"Yeah," Courtney said. "We met last year."

"See Heather? I am smart!"

"Yeah," Izzy said. "Tell Heather who's boss! Who's the boss? You the boss!"

Heather was listening, and looking angry. "Guys-"

"Go away, Heather," Lindsay proudly shouted. "We don't need you."

Courtney interrupted. "Actually, I don't personally have anything against-"

Lindsay was staring at Courtney as cute and innocent as she could.

"Well," Courtney started, "she's on our team, so we really should try to get along… we can wait, though."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: What could I do? Picking on Lindsay is like kicking a dog: sure, it's easy, but you just feel awful seeing it happen. Besides, with my great leadership skills, I'm sure I can rally my entire team into working together.

* * *

Chris led the campers to the cabins. "You remember your sleeping quarters, right? They're pretty much the same. Chris girls there, Chris boys there, Pansy girls there, Pansy boys there. I don't really need to explain it further."

"I don't get it," Lindsay said, looking confused.

"I'll explain it," Courtney said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I hope I'm not taking on more than I can handle here. (Courtney puts her palm into her face, shaking her head.)

* * *

In the cafeteria, Chef Hatchet was serving lunch. Or at least what he called lunch. It looked more like a grey Nerf ball, though probably less edible.

"Excuse me, but may I have some food, please?" Noah asked Chef.

"I already gave you some. Move it." Chef snarled.

"I mean food food. Like the kind you can actually eat."

Chef threw the food in his face. "Maybe you like wearing it more than eating it."

"Actually, yes. I do." Noah shot Chef a glare.

Which was a bad move. Chef jumped over the counter and force-fed Noah the alleged food, eventually leading to Noah vomiting on Chef. Noah eventually found the strength to slink off, while Harold, next in line, received a helping of Noah's vomit, strained from Chef's shirt.

"Vomit? You're giving me vomit?"

"Got a problem?" Chef had pulled Harold up to his face, breathing heavily.

Back at the Screaming Pansies' table, Courtney was paying attention to Harold's current predicament, and glowing about it at the table.

"That'll teach him a lesson," Courtney muttered to herself.

"What lesson?" Lindsay asked. "Is he in school?"

Heather tried to break into the conversation. "Actually, Courtney meant-"

"We weren't talking to you!" Lindsay yelled, startling the whole cafeteria. Heather backed away, letting Lindsay and Courtney be.

"Harold cheated to get me kicked off last season," Courtney said to Lindsay. "I can't believe he someone would stoop down to such a level. I deserve justice!"

"Oh, that," Lindsay said. "Well, you were kind of mean to him."

"Uh, Lindsay," Tyler started, "I think we'd better go now."

"But why?" Lindsay asked, completely oblivious to Courtney's twitching and seething rage, about to explode.

"Mean to him? **Mean **to him? Duncan, maybe, but me? I was nothing but as sweet as could possibly be! I never did anything to him! Never! But yet he, because of his stupid feud with Duncan, decided to get **me **involved, and punished **me **for no reason! I was an innocent bystander, merely guilty by association, and he decided to take out his anger on me, because he was too big a coward to stand up to Duncan directly!" Courtney was still fuming, and hadn't even noticed Lindsay had run off crying.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Yeah, I went a little far there. Lindsay really didn't deserve that.

Lindsay: And I thought Kacie was being so nice to me… I don't even know what I did wrong! I just said Harold had reason not to like her… it's almost like she was obli… obli… like she wasn't aware.

Duncan: (pauses) I love that woman.

* * *

At the Killer Chrises' table, Bridgette took a seat next to Gwen. "Say, Gwen, it's nice to…"

Gwen looked irritated and moved to another seat, leaving Bridgette confused and worried. And even more worried when Eva sat beside her.

"Bridgette," Eva said, in her usual scary tone.

"Please don't kill me," Bridgette pleaded, but that did not seem to be Eva's intent.

"I made a mistake." Eva looked down. "I accused you saying that I needed anger management classes. You didn't say it, though."

"Thank you, I think." Bridgette just stared and blinked.

"I saw the reruns on TV. It was Courtney. Courtney is the one who deserved my wrath!" Eva pounded her fist on the table, scaring Bridgette. "And frankly, after that outburst, I think I'd be doing everyone a favor."

"But Courtney's my friend," Bridgette said. Not that it mattered. Eva had her sights set on Courtney's downfall.

"No one messes with my girl." Duncan piped up, slamming his hands on the table.

"Oh, this is rich." Eva laughed. "You're tough, but you really think you can take me on?"

"No… maybe. I don't know. But Courtney ripped a freakin' lamp post out of the ground last year! You really think we couldn't take you on together?"

"Well," Eva said, starting to look a bit nervous.

"Come on, right here, right now," Duncan taunted.

"it's OK," Eva grumbled. "Courtney can live." _I can't directly attack Courtney. I'll lose that fight. I need to be a bit sneakier. More like… Heather._

Chris entered the cafeteria. "Campers, it's time for your first challenge! Please meet up at the 1000-foot cliff in twenty minutes."

"You're kidding," Duncan said, smiling. "Wasn't this the first challenge last year? Have you run out of ideas already? Man, you suck!"

"Oh, do I?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Duncan: I really need to learn when to shut up.

* * *

Chris and the campers were at the top of the cliff. Chris held out a long bungee cord.

"Campers, I'm sure you all remember the first challenge from last season. You had to dive into that water below. One of you, of course, was saved because another one of you said the stupidest sexist comment I'd ever heard." Courtney had a disgusted look on her face, as did Ezekiel, who was hiding his face with his tuque. "I mean, the comments were spot on, I might add, but still, really bad timing since a lot of people believe in political correctness, and all." All of the girls were fuming. Courtney, Bridgette, Eva, and Leshawna all had to be restrained.

Izzy was nowhere to be found, though. At least, not until she came from the sky and kicked him in the gut, knocking the air out of him. "No thanks necessary," Izzy said, "unless you want to. Izzy doesn't mind being showered with praise."

"That! Was! Awesome!" Owen shouted! "Gotta' love her!" Owen went up to throw Izzy into the air, though he missed her on the way down. "Izzy! Are you OK?"

"Whoa, that was a good head rush! Hope I'm OK… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8... What comes after 8? I can't remember! Oh no, my poor brain… oh wait, it's 9. I'm OK."

Trent, smiling, elbowed Gwen. "You know, nine's my lucky number." Gwen smiled back.

Chris eventually got back up. "OK, as I was going to say, you guys are going to-"

"You guys?" Bridgette asked, looking angry.

"Fine. You guys **and girls **are going to strap yourself into the bungee harness, and collect the black balls below. The balls have numbers on them, face down. Those are worth points. The team that can bring the most points back up here wins."

"Pfft." Duncan sneered. "That all?"

"No. No it's not." Chris started to cackle, before regaining composure. "See those black balls down there? A few of them are not balls at all, but bombs."

"Black ball-shaped bombs?" Gwen asked. "What is this, a cartoon?"

"Oh, come on, where's your gaming spirit?" Chris asked. "What fun is a challenge if there's no risk of grave bodily harm?"

"I prefer those," Beth said.

"But I don't. And I'm the host, so what I say goes. Who will reign supreme? Me! Duh. But which team will score the most points? Which team will be up for elimination in the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet!"

"It's the first one," Noah said, rolling his eyes. "Of course it'll be the most dramatic, since it'll be the only one so far."

"Shut up," Chris whined. "Someone will be going home tonight on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

Constructive criticism is very welcome. Or not, if you don't want to.


	2. Day 1, Part 2: Like Kicking a Beast

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 2: Day 1: Part 2: Like Kicking a Heartless Beast**

Chris smiled into the camera. "And we're back!"

Courtney rolled her eyes. "We didn't go anywhere."

"Shush." Chris put a finger to his lips, then went back to smiling for the camera. "Now as I had mentioned previously, these guys need to bungee jump down to the lake and pick up black balls with numbers on them, for points. Whichever team gets the most points wins."

"We know!" Courtney shouted. "You said that already!"

"Well, what if someone forgot? Lindsay probably forgot, after all."

"No, I didn't, Kip! Why does everyone treat me like I'm stupid?"

"You **are **stupid," Noah said flatly.

"Lindsay?" Courtney asked.

"No!" Lindsay shouted. "You think I'm stupid, too! Everyone here thinks I'm an idiot, and maybe I am! I wish I was smarter like everyone else, but I'm not! Not everyone's born smart like you and Nick. Some of us try as hard as we can just to pass school! I can't help it, but I do know something."

Lindsay snatched the harness from Chris, tied the cord to a support, and jumped down.

"Lindsay, you idiot," Courtney said, worried as she looked down the cliff. But then, she smiled as Lindsay was coming back up.

"Here!" Lindsay beaned Chris with three 100-point balls. "How's that for stupid?" Lindsay was left hanging for a few seconds before her current predicament hit her. "Actually, can someone help me up?" Lindsay was feeling nauseous from bouncing up and down.

Courtney pulled Lindsay up, and back onto the cliff, which Eva noted. "That was amazing!" Courtney hugged her teammate.

"Thank you, Cori. I'm sorry I blew up, but--"

"No," Courtney said. "I have a bit of a temper, and I shouldn't have yelled at you earlier."

"Aww, I can't stay mad." Lindsay smiled sweetly.

"Um, hello?" Chris interjected. "We have a game, still. So far, the Screaming Pansies have a huge 300-point lead. So, who's up next?"

"I'll go," Leshawna said. "If that skinny white girl can score that easy, I'll have no problem!"

"It's harder than it looks," Chris taunted.

Leshawna strapped herself into the harness. "This is still just the kind of thing I can do." Leshawna jumped off the cliff, but bounced back with only one 25-point ball.

"Damn. That was harder than she made it look."

Chris smiled. "325 to zip so far. How about we get a Killer Chris to show these Pansies who's boss? DJ, you're big and strong! Be a man and--"

"Chris!" Bridgette shouted.

"Err," Chris said carefully, "be a strong person and show them how it's done!"

DJ started to panic. "But what if the strap breaks? What if I pick up a bomb? What if no one helps me back up?"

Chris was getting annoyed. "I don't care, just go!" Chris pushed DJ off the cliff before he was finished strapping himself in. DJ wound up picking up a 25-point ball he threw at Chris, but when he was being pulled up, DJ broke loose and fell into the lake below, screaming the whole way down.

"That's too bad," Chris said, looking down the cliff, then turning around and pointing to his face. "I don't know why I have to suffer like this. You guys don't have to throw the balls at **me!**" Chris was rubbing his head as he noticed Katie and Sadie both strapping themselves into the harness.

"That's only made for one person," Chris said.

"But we'll die if we don't do it together!" Sadie insisted.

"Actually, I won't die. Sadie'll die, though, and I'll be responsible! I can't live with that sort of guilt!"

"So are we ready, Katie?"

"Ready, Sadie! Jump!"

The harness almost immediately went undone and dropped the two girls into the lake.

"Hey, Katie, that was pretty cool! We should do it again!"

"I wonder if Chris would let us?"

"They seem OK," Chris said. "Score's 325 to 25. Courtney, have at it."

"No, I'm pretty sure we'll win," Courtney said smugly. "We're way ahead, and no one else is going to be able to top Lindsay's talent." Courtney heard Cody and Noah snickering. "What's so funny?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: So I used to like _Sailor Moon._ There's nothing wrong with having watched it as a young lad. It was a gateway to more sophisticated animé. Besides, Makoto was cute.

Cody: I love _Sailor Moon._ I used to have a crush on Lita.

* * *

"Oh, you're jumpin'!" Leshawna shouted.

"Make me!" Courtney stuck out her tongue. Leshawna did indeed make her, though, and threw Courtney over the cliff.

"How exactly is she supposed to bounce back up to whack Chris with more balls?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ooh," Leshawna said. "I… kinda' forgot that part."

"I'm going to get you for this!" Everyone was surprised at how loud Courtney was from the bottom of the cliff.

"That must have been deafening from down there," Noah said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Sadie, I can't hear anything! I think I've gone deaf! No, now I'll never be able to listen to my Justin Timberlake CD again!  
Sadie: Wow, Katie, I think I've gone deaf too!  
Katie: Oh no, Sadie, you lost your ability to speak too!  
Sadie: But I can still talk.  
Katie: Someone get Sadie a mouth doctor!

DJ: (DJ is just curled up in a fetal position with his thumb in his mouth.)

Leshawna: OK, I admit, I lost my temper. Which would have been OK if I didn't forget that throwing that white girl down there wouldn't help us win. Still felt good, anyway… actually, is she even a white girl?

* * *

Heather remembered this situation all too well from last season, and knew it wouldn't end well for herself, since she wasn't about to jump either, so she quietly snuck back to her cabin.

"Bridgette," Chris said, still on a bit of a high from Leshawna's throwdown, "you're up!"

"This'll be easy," Bridgette said. She strapped herself into the harness, jumped down, and picked up a bomb. "No points I guess," she said nonchalantly, as she bounced back up and threw the bomb over to Chris.

"Oh crap!" Chris shouted, as he was juggling the bomb Bridgette threw his way, right before it exploded.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (with a charred face, and legitimately messy hair) I **really** should have gone through the effort to make sure the bombs would blew up right away.

* * *

Everyone on the cliff was laughing at Chris's pain, and later at Chris' charred face after the smoke cleared.

"Bombs. What a lame idea!" Chris yelled. "New rule! Anyone who throws another bomb at me has their team's points drop down to zero! Feel free to throw the bombs at your fellow contestants, however."

"Can I go next?" Gwen asked innocently.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, I don't' care," Chris said, while crying into in a mirror he was holding.

Gwen strapped herself into the harness, managed to pick up a bomb, which she seemed to be doing deliberately, then bounced back up and threw it at Chris.

Chris screamed as it blew up right in his face again. Chris was scared to look into his mirror, and shrieked when he saw his hair was completely messed up.

"Not funny!" Chris screamed. "I warned you: you're back down to zero points, Killer Chrises!"

"Ooh, 25 whole points," Noah said, waving his hands and rolling his eyes.

"New rule!" Chris shouted. "Next person to do that is going to be force fed the leftovers we had from lunch!"

"Is the 'back to zero points' rule still in effect?" Owen asked. "Because I can handle that."

"**YES!**" Chris shrieked. "Heather! Get over there! And if you pick up a bomb, keep it!"

"Where is that girl?" Leshawna shouted. "Ooh, I should've known she'd sneak off to avoid jumping!" Leshawna started walking down the cliff in a huff.

"She's hot when she's angry," Harold said.

"So you would like her when she's angry," Noah added.

"Oh, that's from Superman, right?" Lindsay chimed in, gleeful that she got Noah's reference.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: (Noah just shapes his hand like a gun, puts it to his head, and pulls it like a trigger)

Harold: Lindsay doesn't even know Marvel from DC? I mean, I know she isn't the smartest person here, but come on! I bet even Courtney would know that.

Courtney: DC? Isn't that the capital of the United States? I guess I would marvel at the landmarks there, but why are you asking me this, anyway?

* * *

Courtney had entered her cabin, soaking wet, so she could change into her usual outfit, but noticed Heather sitting on her bed, with her arms around her knees, crying.

"Heather?" Courtney asked. Heather didn't respond though, so Courtney walked closer. "Are you OK, Heather?"

Heather looked up at Courtney, tearful. "No. I couldn't do the challenge."

"Well, neither could I, but--"

"Look." Heather put her hand on her hair, and pulled it off. "It's a wig."

Courtney didn't need to ask any more questions. She wanted to ask more, but she got the biggest question on her mind answered. "Your hair didn't grow back."

"I didn't deserve this," Heather said, still crying, putting her wig back on.

"It looks just like your real hair did," Courtney said, smiling. "It looks nice."

"Thank you. You won't tell anyone--"

"No. But why did you tell me?"

Heather smiled a bit. "I remember you from last season. Always hotheaded." Courtney frowned at that. "Always bossy, but always trying to do what was right for your team." Courtney let go of the frown. "I needed to open up to someone here, and you are one of the few people who doesn't despise me. I didn't think you did, anyway."

"Well," Courtney said, crossing her arms, "I really didn't like you trying to turn me against Bridgette in the talent show." Heather looked more down, being reminded of the talent show.

"I was also hoping you could tell Lindsay that I've changed. I'm not the girl I was last year."

"I'm sure she'll forgive you if you apologize," Courtney said. "I kind of yelled at her a little earlier, and she isn't mad anymore."

"That's different," Heather said. "You did something mean, but I was cruel to her over, and over, and over again. It builds up. Even Lindsay has her limits."

Courtney pulled her up from her bed, and smiled. "Just keep trying. Show Lindsay you've changed. Maybe Gwen and Leshawna--"

"Leshawna," Heather muttered. Suddenly Heather was seething.

"Heather?" Courtney asked. "Is something wrong? I actually would have guessed Gwen bothered you more."

"No," Heather said flatly. "I don't hate Gwen. Not anymore, but Leshawna--"

Suddenly, the cabin door slammed open, with Leshawna looking pissed. "Leshawna what?" she shouted.

"Nothing!" Heather said, looking worried.

"You're jumping, girl, even if I have to drag you up that cliff!"

"She's not jumping," Courtney piped up.

"What? You crazy? I thought you wanted to win by any means possible. Whatever happened to Miss CIT who'd scream at anyone who didn't give it a hundred percent?"

"Things… change," Courtney said, looking down at the floor.

"Change or no change, we're not losing this challenge just because Daddy's girl doesn't want to get her hair wet!"

"She's not jumping!" Courtney shouted, right in Leshawna's face.

Leshawna was about to pick Courtney up, when she saw a spider on her arm. "Get it off, get it off, get it off!"

Courtney and Heather knowingly looked at each other, and used the opportunity to get out of there.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I shoulda' known Courtney would stick up for that witch. Always picking on poor Harold… she wasn't really that nice, either, last year. I'm surprised Heather found another pawn to use this season, though. Would've figured Courtney was smarter than that.

Heather: Leshawna **will **pay!

* * *

Chris and most of the contestants were still on the cliff, still trying to score points.

"Wah-hoo!" Geoff shouted as he plunged toward the lake, but he had forgotten to strap himself to the harness, so he just fell straight into the lake.

"Geoff!" Bridgette shouted, and dove in after him.

"No more sucking face up here then!" Gwen said, smiling.

"Yeah, that was getting more annoying than the Wonder Twins' 'eeeiii'ing," Noah said. "And I thought they were bad."

"Cody," Chris said, "you're up!"

Cody strapped himself into the harness, jumped for the lake, and pulled up a bomb, which exploded as he was holding it.

"Chris, you're evil," he said with a charred face as he was being helped up onto the cliff.

"I know." Chris laughed. "Ezekiel, you're next."

"Yeah," Eva said, sneering. "Show us what a big, strong guy can do. Twerp."

Ezekiel strapped himself into the harness, jumped down, and picked up a 100-point ball… but the cliff with the bungee support cracked off on Ezekiel's way up, pulling him back down. The large piece of cliff, bizarrely, fell more slowly than Ezekiel did, leading to the rock crushing him against the water.

"That. Was. Awesome!" Chris exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "Oh, and by the way, since he didn't come back up, that 100-point ball doesn't count."

"I can't argue. It was pretty awesome," Eva said, smiling somewhat.

At the bottom of the cliff, Geoff, while making out with Bridgette, noticed Ezekiel getting crushed. "Dude, awesome wipeout!"

"Huh?" Bridgette asked. She turned around and saw the rock, but didn't see who Geoff was talking to. She turned back to Geoff. "Who was there?"

"Oh, home-school boy just got crushed by that rock!"

"Geoff!" Bridgette slapped him. "He could need help! I'd better go and see if he's OK."

Bridgette went into the water to find Ezekiel. She found him, passed out, under the water, and dove under to get him out. Back on the top of the cliff, Chris was setting a new post in the ground, tying another bungee cord to it.

"You had a backup?" Harold asked.

"Just in case," Chris said, smiling. "You never know when a cliff might give way, after all, ha ha!"

"Not funny."

"So," Chris said, "anyone brave enough to go next?"

"I can do it, easy," Eva said, standing proud. She went over to put on the harness, jumped off the cliff, and brought back up six balls, wailing them all at Chris one by one.

"Ow," Chris complained. "Let's see… 25, 25, 50, 75, 50, and another 25. That adds up to a sweet 250 points for the Killer Chrises! Noah, have at it!"

"No."

"Oh, you're going, shrimp," Eva said angrily. Eva picked up Noah effortlessly, strapped him into the harness, and pushed him over the cliff.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Ooh, you're on my list, Eva. Right under Elle, the driver who sideswiped me a few months ago and ran off before the police came. (Noah angrily points to the camera) I know it was you!

* * *

Noah picked up a bomb, but quickly threw it aside, quickly realizing he wasn't allowed to toss it back at Chris. Just so happened he threw it right at where Bridgette had laid Ezekiel, where it exploded.

"Zeke!" Bridgette shouted, leaving an irritated Geoff behind who just kissed the ground, not noticing Bridgette had left. "Are you OK?"

Ezekiel's face was charred, and he coughed a bit before answering. "I think soo. What woos that?"

"A bomb." Bridgette looked horrified. "Noah tossed it this way. I don't think he noticed you were here, though."

Back at the top of the cliff, Noah was unstrapping himself, looking angry. "Happy Eva? I just threw a bomb at Ezekiel!"

"I know!" Eva said, smiling scarily brightly.

"He could have died!"

"But he didn't, so we can laugh!"

"No one's laughing, iron woman."

"I am!" Chris exclaimed. "Man, that was awesome!"

Leshawna had just gotten back to the top of the cliff, though Gwen seemed to be the only one to notice.

"Where were you?" Gwen asked.

"Heather ran off without jumping, so I went to find her so I could… heh… 'convince' her to do it."

"Well, we're on different teams, so it's OK with me." Gwen was smiling.

"But you aren't gonna' believe this. She formed an alliance with Courtney!"

"Courtney? But I thought she was, I dunno', smarter than that."

"Wait," Duncan said, overhearing their conversation. "Courtney and Heather, in an alliance?"

"You heard right," Leshawna said.

"I wonder if Courtney would be up for a three-way."

"You're sick in the head, boy." Leshawna walked away. Gwen just giggled, which Trent noticed.

"Hey, Gwen, you like cake?"

"Uh… yeah," Gwen said, confused.

"You know what my favorite kind of cake is? Pillsbury. I love that little doughboy." Gwen laughed uncomfortably. "But you know what kind I hate? I hate Duncan Hines, 'cause Duncan Hines is bad."Gwen blinked. "O… K… I'm going over **here** now," Gwen said as she backed away slowly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: …maybe I was too subtle.

Gwen: Subtle, Trent ain't.

* * *

Lindsay walked over to Gwen, which Gwen was dreading. "Hey, Gabby, did Lashonda say that Cathy and Heather were in an alliance?"

"Yeah," Gwen said. "So be careful."

"Oh," Lindsay said, letting it sink in for a few moments. "I'd better warn Carly not to trust Heather. Heather can be a little… mean."

"No," Gwen said, feigning shock. "You don't say."

"I do say, Greta, I do say," Lindsay said, smiling, before a butterfly fluttering by distracted her.

"How exactly can she call me three different G-names in one conversation without actually calling me the right one, anyway?" Gwen rolled her eyes.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Cobi must have a pretty bad memory if she forgot all the things Heather did to us last year. Although Kelly was also kinda' mean last year, but she seems nicer now. I'd still better warn Caileigh.

* * *

"Tyler, show that bungee cord who's boss," Chris said.

"Yeah, I can do this!" Tyler exclaimed. Before he jumped off, Lindsay rushed up to him and gave him a long, wet kiss. Tyler was in bliss… at least until the kiss was over, and Lindsay spoke.

"I wanted to do that in case you died, to make your last moment special." Lindsay was smiling adorably at Tyler, but she unintentionally made Tyler nervous as hell.

"Well… thank you for remembering which one was me, anyway." Tyler smiled at Lindsay before looking down into the lake.

"Good luck, Trent!"

"What?!" both Tyler and Trent shouted. Gwen looked up as well.

"Ooh," Lindsay said, saddened. "I got your name wrong, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Tyler said

"I'm sorry," Lindsay said sweetly, hugging Tyler. "I'm bad with names… um… Trent?"

"Tyler."

"I'm Trent." Lindsay saw Trent was waving a few feet away.

"That's awkward." Lindsay said, crying. "I'm sorry… Taylor?"

"Tyler. Better that than Trent, at least." Tyler chuckled.

"So you're not mad," Lindsay looked up, hopeful.

"Of course not! You're the sweetest, nicest, prettiest girl here!"

"Thank you!" Lindsay jumped up on Tyler, which pushed him back… and over the cliff. Tyler managed to pick up a 25-point ball, while Lindsay, incredibly, managed to pick up another 100-point ball, all while holding on to the cord with her other hand, throwing the balls at Chris, though he dodged.

"Ha! Thought you got me! I was ready that time!" Chris laughed. "Romance and death-defying action! Makes for great TV! Anyway, it looks like you two got another 125 points, making the score 450 Screaming Pansies, 250 Killer Chrises."

"But that's cheating!" yelled Duncan. "Lindsay went twice! You can't count the ball she was holding!"

"Well, I don't know which ball she had, and which one Tyler had, so I have to count both." Duncan rolled his eyes.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Duncan: I really wanted to give Lindsay a piece of my mind, cheating like that… but she's hot. What can I say? I have a soft spot for hot chicks. Hmm… maybe a foursome with Courtney, Heather, and Lindsay… that'd be great!

* * *

"Owen!" Chris shouted.

"No way, Chris," Owen said. "Nothin' doin'."

"You're absolutely right."

"Huh?" Owen looked puzzled.

"This bungee cord has a strict weight limit of 280 pounds, so I'm afraid I cannot allow you to go."

"But that's not fair," Harold said, walking around. "They've got more jumpers than we do, then."

Duncan, annoyed, tripped Harold as he passed. "So says the team that let one member jump twice."

"Idiot."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: One of these days, I'll finally unleash my mad skills on Duncan and Courtney, and then they'll be sorry they ever messed with me.

Noah: Yeah, I'm **so** sure Harold is going to just go deus ex machina on us at the most climactic moment and reveal his mystical monkey powers. Yeah, that'll happen. (Noah rolls his eyes.)

* * *

"Trent, you're up," Chris said.

"So, Gwen," Trent started, "want to give me a goodbye kiss in case I don't survive the fall?"

Gwen rolled her eyes, but reluctantly gave in. "All right." Gwen and Trent shared a sweet kiss, though nothing as interesting as Lindsay's and Tyler's.

"Wish me luck!" Trent said, as he jumped over… completely forgetting the harness.

"Trent!" Gwen shouted, "you forgot the… well, I guess it's too late now." Gwen looked worriedly over the cliff, as she saw Trent splat against the rock that had crushed Ezekiel earlier. Gwen flinched as she saw that.

"Ooh, I hope he left another Trent-shaped outline this time," Chris said, laughing.

"That's not funny," Gwen said, smacking Chris in the head.

"Watch the hair!"

At the bottom of the cliff, Katie and Sadie were tending to Trent, lifting him out from the Trent-shaped hole, and carrying him to shore.

"Think he's OK, Katie?"

"I don't know, I'm not good with medical stuff. We'd better take him to a doctor."

"I don't think there is one here, Katie."

"Ooh, that's too bad, but it looks like he needs mouth to mouth! I've done this before when Jim was drowning back in fifth grade, so I'm practically an expert!"

"I wanted to give him mouth to mouth, but you pushed me out of the way to get to him first."

"Sadie, you don't know the proper procedure. I needed to do it that time, and I need to do it this time."

"Girls?" Trent said.

"You're right, Katie. I just wanted to kiss him.""So did I, and I know you wanted to kiss him too, but it still didn't change the fact that I knew what I was doing, so I could both save his life and kiss him."

"Girls?" Trent said, more annoyed.

Katie, not paying any attention to Trent's speaking, started giving mouth-to-mouth, while also kissing him.

"**Katie?!**" Trent shouted, clearly upset. "What was that?!"

"I was just saving your life, hello!" Katie said. "You'd think you could be a **little **more grateful?"

"Yeah, she was saving your life."

"And kissing him was saving his life?" Bridgette had noticed Katie's and Sadie's shenanigans. "He had already come to, and you two were being so loud, you didn't even notice when Trent was calling to you."

"Hey, I saw Trent first," Katie snapped at Bridgette.

"Nuh-uh, I saw him first," Sadie complained back at Katie.

"Wait, Bridgette's the enemy, not me! We need to stand united against Bridgette!"

"Oh, yeah."

Bridgette sighed. "I'm pretty sure Gwen saw him first, you guys."

"We weren't talking to you, Bridgette," Katie said, annoyed.

"Actually, you were," Bridgette said, getting irritated with the duo.

"Yeah, you kinda' were, Katie," Sadie said.

"Well, not anymore! Bridgette, I'm never talking to you ever again! You're on my list!"

"Wow, that's harsh, Katie. I still can't believe you liked that movie."

"I know. We usually have the same tastes in… well, everything. Like clothes! Oh my God, Sadie, that's like the cutest outfit! Where did you get it?"

"You made it for me! Eeeiii!"

"Eeeiii!"

Bridgette rolled her eyes. Trent was holding his ears, quietly walking away from the duo.

Back on the top of the cliff, the game was still underway.

"The score is still 450 Screaming Pansies, 250 Killer Chrises. Justin, how about you go next?"

Justin walked up to the edge of the cliff, and ripped off his shirt. Seconds later, a lovestruck shark jumped up to Justin and handed him a 100-point ball.

"Wow," Chris said, falling for Justin himself. "Uh, I mean, that's 100 points for more the Killer Chrises, so you're only 100 points behind now. Beth… Beth? **Beth!**"

Beth was glomping Justin, not hearing Chris at all until Chris pulled her off. "Beth, it's your turn. Strap on the harness and jump down there, and bring back up some major pointage!"

"Pointage?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Scorage?" Chris asked.

"You're not serious," Gwen chimed in.

"Well, I don't know all the hip lingo nowadays! Just jump down there and get some points for your team!"

Beth jumped down, grabbed a 25-point ball, and tossed it onto the cliff.

"That's it?" Chris asked. "Well that was the most boring cliff jump we've had in a while. No crashes? No explosions? No romance, no drama, no chills, thrills, or spills?"

Beth, irritated, threw her ball at Chris' head.

"Ow," Chris complained. "I didn't want that kind of drama! Anyway, Harold, it's time for you to show off your alleged 'mad skills' and get some balls!" Duncan laughed at Chris' comment.

"Gosh!" Harold exclaimed. "So immature." Harold strapped himself in, and noticed--

"Izzy!" Harold yelled.

"What?" Izzy asked. Izzy had just finished a makeshift tombstone with Harold's name on it, and the day's date. "Izzy wouldn't be going through this effort if I didn't like you, so be happy!" Izzy said as she glomped Harold, which, as with Lindsay, pushed him over the edge. Izzy wasn't even holding on, just jumping around on Harold, as she came back up with--

"600 points?!" Duncan shouted. "You're kidding me!"

"Nope!" Izzy said, as she started running and bouncing around the cliff with her story, as Harold just lay there helpless. "You see, Harold's body gave me the perfect springboard to leap from, and looking at the reflection in the water, I was able to see which balls were worth 100 points, and so I carried six, juggling them all as Harold's body bounced back up here, and major pointage for our team! Actually, Noah, you're right, that is a stupid word. Stupid Chris and his stupid made-up words that he hopes will catch on but never will. Tsk, tsk. How sad for stupid Chris to be in such denial."

Chris was about to explode, but controlled his anger before speaking. "Killer Chrises, I really hope you win. Aside from the other team being, well, pansies, I'd love for Izzy to be voted off about now, so, let's see… score is… 375 Killer Chrises, 1050 Screaming Pansies, and Duncan, you're our final jumper.

"I can't beat that!" Duncan shouted in exasperation. "Even Izzy didn't manage seven balls!"

"Oh, you can beat it," Chris said. "There is a 1000-point ball down there, just in case one team needed it if they were falling way, way, waaaay behind. Like you guys. If you can bring the 1000-point ball up to me, it'll put you over the top, and your team will win!"

"I can do this!" Duncan said, hyping himself up. He didn't strap himself into the harness when he jumped, though he did take it with him… except he never bounced back up.

"What is he doing?!" Chris yelled.

Down at the bottom of the cliff, Duncan had attached the harness to a pointy part of the rock, so he could hitch a ride back up after he found the 1000-point ball. He found 25-point balls, 50-point balls, 75-point balls, and 100-point balls--as well as bombs he tossed onto the beach, which Ezekiel was frantically trying to avoid--but no 1000-point ball.

"Duncan!" Chris shouted from the top of the cliff. "I lied! There is no 1000-point ball! I just wanted you to jump!"

"What?!" Duncan shouted back, clearly upset. "Guess I'll need to juggle seven of these 100-point balls." Duncan tried his hardest, balancing seven of them in his hands, but once he unattached the bungee cord, he zipped up so quickly that he not only dropped all the balls, but fell back down himself… and onto the rock.

"Bridgette," Katie said nonchalantly," you can have that one."

"I thought you weren't talking to me," Bridgette said.

"Oh yeah, I'm ignoring you, so there!"

"Katie, you're so good at ignoring her!"

"I know!" The two girls squeed at this "revelation."

Back at the top of the cliff, Chris was ready to announce the winner.

"Killer Chrises, I'm very disappointed in you guys. Seriously, you sucked out there today. I was hoping for better from the team with my namesake. But as it stands, the Screaming Pansies are the winners!" The Screaming Pansies--at least those still at the top of the cliff--cheered. "Not only are you guys safe from elimination tonight, but chef is currently setting up a small party for you guys. It'll even have food that's actually edible. Consider it a "welcome back" party." Chris laughed at his own lame joke. "Killer Chrises, see you at the campfire ceremony tonight. One of you is going home tonight."

"Most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, right?" Gwen asks, smirking.

"I hate you guys, you know that?" Chris whined.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: So our team gave a weak effort out there. Surprise, surprise. I knew better than to call them out on it this time, though. For some reason, most people don't like hearing about their faults. Now me, of course, I have none.

* * *

All the Screaming Pansy members were at the party that night, with a buffet lined up, music, and a few banners. And most of them were having fun.

"Want to see how long I can hold my breath in the punch bowl?" Izzy asked, then immediately did so before anyone could answer.

"I… kinda' wanted some poonch, eh?" Ezekiel said, disappointed that Izzy was now contaminating it.

Izzy lifted her head from the punch, dripping all from her head and hair. "Oh, sure, here ya' go!" Izzy started serving some punch for Ezekiel, but Ezekiel didn't want any.

"Eh, noo thanks." Ezekiel started walking away.

"Wait, what's wrong? Izzy wants to know!" Izzy, grabbed Ezekiel so he'd stop walking away. It's not because I'm a girl, is it? And now the punch is filled with cooties, or icky girl germs, or whatever."

"No, no," Ezekiel tried to explain. "It's just kinda' oonsanitary, getting your hair all in the poonch.

"Oh, I know," Izzy said, drinking the punch she had just served. "I was just messing with you."

"I'd rather stay nice oond clean. Already had enoogh messy for one day."

Izzy blinked, then laughed. "No, no, I mean I'm just kidding around, Zeke. Funning with you, teasing you--"

"Zeke?" Ezekiel asked.

"Oh, you know, short for Ezekiel. I think it's cute."

"Oh, so that's what Bridgette meant." Izzy cocked her head. "Bridgette?"

"Oh, Bridgette's that bloonde girl who's laid-back and--"

"I know who she is," Izzy said. "I didn't know you liked her, though. Ooh, but she already has Geoff… oh, I know! A fight to the death!" Izzy picked up Ezekiel's arm. "Sure, you're kinda' scrawny, but Geoff isn't exactly the toughest guy either, so with some training, I think you could take him on! You should practice with Noah. I'm sure you could take him on even now."

"Izzy," Ezekiel started. Over on the dance floor, Courtney was cutting a rug with Tyler, both of whom were enjoying the dance. Lindsay was cheering the two on.

"Yeah, you go, Ca… Ke… you two go!" Lindsay had pressed Courtney to have a dance with Tyler, since she had been worried about Duncan possibly being eliminated tonight. As clumsy as Tyler was, he was a pretty good dancer, and Courtney was caught up in the moment as well. After the song, the three sat together.

"You two were great out there!" Lindsay exclaimed, hugging her friends. "You were like all… good… and stuff."

"Thanks," Tyler said.

"That was a good stress reliever. Thank you for letting me 'borrow' Tyler," Courtney said, beaming.

"Who's Tyler?" Lindsay asked. Tyler waved, smiling. "Oh, yeah, you're Tyler," Lindsay said as she glomped him, and the two started making out.

"I'll be back," Courtney said, as she started walking over toward Heather, who was arguing with Leshawna.

"Ghetto girl!"

"Rich bi--"

"Would you two stop that?" Courtney interjected. "We're at a party! We should be enjoying ourselves! Relax."

"She started it," Heather said, pointing to Leshawna.

"No I didn't, you started it the moment you stepped your ugly face on that dock last year!" Leshawna shouted.

"Look, Leshawna," Courtney started, "Trent's a little lonely over there. Why don't you go cheer him up?"

Leshawna was about to argue, but realized Courtney was right. Trent was all alone, worried that Gwen might be leaving tonight. "Yeah, I guess he needs me." Leshawna started walking over toward Trent.

"You OK, Heather?" Courtney asked sincerely.

"Not really," Heather said. "Everyone hates me."

"I don't hate you," Courtney said, putting her arm around Heather. "I wouldn't have any real reason to hate you. You never really did anything to me personally."

"But what about when I tried to turn you and Bridgette--"

"You know, I wish you'd quit mentioning that. I'd completely forgotten about that until you brought it up. Then brought it up again. Seriously, it's not a big deal."

"Actually, you kinda' brought it up the first time."

Courtney turned red. "Oh… well… I… I've forgiven you for that, really."

Heather smiled. "Well, that's one person. There's still everyone else, though."

"We'll work on them. I'll help," Courtney said. "I bet Lindsay would like to be your friend again--"

"Lindsay hates me."

"Well… yeah, a little, maybe, but you really hurt her last year."

Heather started tearing up, though also looking upset. "I had to. If I gave her my invincibility, everyone would've jumped on the opportunity to vote me off."

"And you would've still had your friend. And a full head of hair." Courtney laughed as she messed with Heather's hair.

"So, why are you more relaxed than last year? Is it Duncan?" Heather asked, genuinely interested.

"No… it's not," Courtney said, looking down. It's… well…

"It's OK," Heather said. Meanwhile, Lindsay and Tyler had both been watching Heather and Courtney talking, though neither could hear what they were saying. Lindsay looked visibly worried.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: So it was true! Callie really is under Heather's spell! I need to think of a plan to save Cassie! (Lindsay thinks for several seconds in a "thoughtful" position, before looking back at the camera.) I need someone to help me think of a plan to save Cori!

* * *

Trent was loudly sobbing in an otherwise quiet corner, when Leshawna walked up to him.

"You OK?"

"Gwen!" Trent cried out, not even lifting his head.

Leshawna started patting Trent on the head. "She'll be fine. Everyone loves Gwen! Well, except for you-know-who, but she's not on their team, so she can't do anything about it!"

"But what if they see her as a threat? She was last year's runner-up, I mean.""Oh, don't worry. She's great with challenges, and at this stage of the game, they'll be picking off the weak ones."

"You mean that later on, they'll kick her off for being a threat?" Trent was now given good reason to worry, as far as he was concerned, and continued sobbing.

"That's… not… really what I meant." Leshawna sighed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Seriously, Katie's attitude was way out of line today. I don't mean to stay mad, but she was just mean, and I don't know why.

Katie: Bridgette's got a real attitude problem.  
Sadie: Yeah, what was up with that?  
Katie: She was like "I'm all that and a bag of chips," but guess what? You're not! You just puke on us with your bag of chips!  
Sadie: Yeah, that was gross when she did that.  
Katie: I know, right?

Noah: I really, really want Katie gone. I don't think I can take it, having to **listen to her another day!** I'll go mad! I saw last season, when Katie was voted off, Sadie almost completely shut up! I'm hoping for a repeat performance.

Eva: Duncan, I respect your strength, but I don't respect your girl. I need you out of here so I can take care of business. Nothing personal, it's strictly business. (Eva smiles slightly.) See? I have a sense of humor, guys.

* * *

The Killer Chrises were all seated around the campfire, as Chris held up a plate of marshmallows.

"At summer camp, marshmallows represent a gooey delicious treat. But here, on _Total Drama Chris, _marshmallows represent **life**." And right on cue, Geoff made the same dramatic fist gesture he'd made last year. "Um, dude, we've seen that before. It's old."

"Kinda' like this whole dramatic speech of yours?" Gwen asked, glaring at Chris.

"Urgh, yes. Fine. May I continue?"

"Go ahead."

"Thank you. On this plate, I have ten marshmallows. If you receive a marshmallow, you are safe. If you do not receive a marshmallow, however, then you must walk the Dock of Shame, and board the Boat of Losers, which will whisk you away, and you can never come back. **Ever.**"

"Until you decide you want to have a plot twist and bring someone back again," Noah said, smirking.

"Or until you force us back for another season?" Gwen said, glaring at Chris.

"Stop that! Who knows? I might decide not to bring anyone back this year," he said, glaring at Noah and Gwen in particular. "When I call your name, come up to receive your marshmallow."

"Geoff."

"Gwen."

"DJ."

"Justin."

"Noah."

"Beth."

"Sadie."

"Duncan."

"Eva."

The nine safe campers had gone up to collect their marshmallows, looking worried as they watched the final two, Bridgette and Katie. Geoff and Sadie in particular were nervous wrecks, with Geoff biting his fingernails and Sadie pulling on her pigtails, hoping for the best.

"And the final marshmallow, bringing one of you two to safety, goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Katie."

"Hooray!" Katie squealed, as she and Sadie ran up to hug each other and squee to each other, but then Katie looked back at Bridgette, and felt bad, and walked up to her.

"Bridgette, I'm sorry. I was being stupid. I don't even remember why I was mad at you." Katie looked into Bridgette's eyes and gave her a hug. "Forgive me?"

Bridgette was crying, but still let out a soft smile and hugged back. "Sure."

"Uh, Katie, she tried to steal your boyfriend," Sadie said.

"Uh, no she didn't," Katie snapped back.

"You know, you two would make a good comedy team," Bridgette said, laughing.

"Enough of this, enough of this," Chris said. "Boat of Losers awa--"

"Wait!" Geoff yelled.

"Ugh, what is it? Need to kiss your girlfriend goodbye? Make it quick."

"No, I can't do this," Geoff said. "Last year, I felt sick when I had to see Bridgette leave. I can't do that again. I'm going with her."

"Awww," Katie and Sadie said in unison, with most of the other campers finding the moment sweet as well.

"No can do, Geoff," Chris said, cackling. "Why would we want a double elimination? That just means we'd have to fit in a filler episode, and let me tell you, the viewers hate filler episodes. So you can't both go."

"Then take me instead," Geoff said, sniffling. Gwen looked disgusted.

"Hmm," Chris went, seriously thinking about it. "I'll need to speak with my lawyer first." Chris whipped out his cell phone, made a call, and made various sounds before hanging up. "Well, I had to make a very important call before answering, and they told me that yes, Bridgette is a little more popular with the viewers than you are, Geoff, so we're allowing it. Are you sure you want to do it though? 'Cause once we take off, we don't want to have to turn back around. Gas is expensive nowadays."

"I'm sure. Take me," Geoff said.

"Geoff," Bridgette said, crying. I'll miss you.

"I'll miss you more!" And with that, the two started making out. Everyone except for Katie and Sadie left, not wanting to watch the make out session.

"Aww, they're so cute," Sadie said, looking lovingly at them alongside Katie, who nodded.

"Seriously," Chris started, "I'd like to get to bed, so if you could just make your way onto the boat, I'd appreciate it."

"You're pissing Chris off," Katie said, giving a glare toward Chris. "Keep at it!"

Chris sighed. "This may take a while. So there you have it folks, Geoff has been voted off the island--sort of--and Bridgette will be back with a couple new friends, however annoying they may be--"

"We're not annoying!" Sadie insisted, looking upset with Chris.

"Yeah, we're so totally not annoying," Katie agreed, also looking upset with Chris.

"Shush. End of episode. It's me time. Not you time. Me time. And with my me time, some questions have been answered. Some questions have also been raised, though. Why is Heather nicer? Why is Courtney more patient? And most importantly, why couldn't Katie have been voted off? Seriously, the girl's annoying! Find out next time, or eventually, on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

**Votes**

Beth: Eva  
Bridgette: Katie  
DJ: Sadie  
Duncan: Bridgette  
Eva: Duncan  
Geoff: Eva  
Gwen: Bridgette  
Justin: Beth  
Katie: Bridgette  
Noah: Katie  
Sadie: Bridgette

Bridgette: 4  
Katie: 2  
Eva: 2  
Duncan: 1  
Sadie: 1  
Beth: 1

Loser: Geoff

* * *

Yeah, Geoff's gone. I know he's not the most popular character, but he's also not the least. I've got a number of story threads going on, many of which have already been introduced, and Geoff wasn't really involved in any of them. Bridgette is, and it is kinda' important that Geoff not be around for very long.

Again, if you have any constructive criticism, I'll all ears. Or if you just want to say "yay!" I'm all for that, too. Or even "I loved Geoff! He was my favorite, and you got rid of him first! I hate you." I'll be a little weirded out, but I can't really stop you.


	3. Day 2, Part 1: Katie Kaboom

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 3: Day 2: Part 1: Katie Kaboom**

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, and started making wild gestures as he started talking. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _the contestants arrived for their second year here, since we still had them under contract, and fans of the show wanted their favorites back, as it turns out. The contestants had to bungee jump from the thousand foot cliff, picking up black balls from the lake, and bringing them back up to me. Some took that a bit too literally, whacking me in the head for some reason."

Chris continued pacing the dock, continuing with his gesturing. "Lindsay, being an idiot, started getting chummy with Courtney, and Courtney, for whatever reason, didn't bash her brains in. Or at least what's left of them. Courtney also made up with Heather, who, for some reason, wasn't bring the same level of drama as she did last season, though she did still harbor some hatred for Leshawna. I'd have put my money on Gwen. Who knew?"

Chris took out a glass of punch. "On another front, Bridgette saved Ezekiel from certain death. After his sexist comments and trying to hit her up in the hot tub last season, that was awfully, well, stupid of her. But not as stupid as Geoff was, since when his team lost the challenge, he was safe from elimination, but he gave up $1 million because of feelings, not wanting to see Bridgette hurt, and, for some reason, felt he'd have lost the will to play without Bridgette around. Man, he sucks!"

"So what will become of Bridgette, now that she has a virtual target on her back? Why does Heather claim to have changed when she still clearly harbors a grudge against Leshawna? Will Katie and Sadie ever shut up? And why did Lindsay start hanging with Courtney, anyway? Man, I still can't figure that one out, but maybe we can get a few other answers up ahead, as well as the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris takes a sip of his punch, and immediately spits it out. "Eww. What's with all this orange hair in the punch? Seriously, that's just gross."

* * *

Bridgette was out on the lake, sitting on her surfboard, staring at the sunrise. She was depressed, remembering that she had almost been voted off, and aside from Katie and Sadie, she had no idea why anyone else would have wanted her off. She was also depressed thinking about how she essentially cost Geoff $1 million, when he sacrificed himself for her.

"Good morning, Bridgette!"

A familiar voice called out from behind Bridgette. She smiled when she turned around and saw it was Courtney. "Hey Courtney."

"I'd hug you, except I don't really want to go into the water and get my clothes wet."

"It's OK." Bridgette was smiling a bit.

"I can't tell you how relieved I was to see you here this morning… is Duncan still here?"

"Yeah," Bridgette said, giggling. "He's still here."

"OK, **now **I can say that I'm officially relieved." Courtney was smiling big, looking excited. "So who did they vote out?"

"Well," Bridgette started, her face becoming flush, "actually, me."

"But wait. You're still here. So was it like a practice ceremony, or you got to stay on a technicality--don't tell me, you filed a lawsuit and won!" Courtney laughed. Bridgette was happy to see Courtney laughing, and just being happier in general than she was last year.

"No," Bridgette started, looking down into the lake. "Geoff sacrificed himself so I could stay."

"Oh." Courtney looked a bit puzzled, as if she were trying to think of what to say. "I'm sorry, Bridgette. I mean, he would've driven me crazy, but I know you two got along so well."

"Thanks," Bridgette smiled, and started getting out of the water.

"I mean, even if you two kinda' made out excessively," Courtney teased. Bridgette reacted by splashing her. "Hey, you got my clothes wet."

"They'll dry." Bridgette finally gave Courtney the hug she wanted earlier.

"I'm sorry we were put on different teams this year," Courtney said. "Without you or Duncan, I thought I would be all alone."

"I've noticed Lindsay hanging around you. I'm actually surprised. She seems like someone who would've annoyed you by now."

"She has, actually," Courtney said, looking none too proud. "She's… interesting. But she's just so sweet and means so well, and she just took a liking to me. I'm not really sure why."

"She's a follower," Bridgette said. "She needs someone to give her direction, and since Heather's not an option anymore, well, she wanted someone a bit nicer."

Courtney's jaw dropped, but she quickly picked it back up and seemed to be thinking Bridgette's words over. "Maybe… but Heather's different now, though."

Bridgette looked at her friend suspiciously. "Heather? Are you sure you aren't being duped? She's fooled others."

"I'm pretty sure. You should talk to her. Maybe you can get a good read."

"Well, I guess I could give Heather another chance," Bridgette said, rubbing her temples, not really wanting to give Heather another chance, but if Courtney said she'd changed….

"And maybe you could convince Gwen, too?" Courtney asked, looking sweetly at Bridgette.

"I don't think Gwen really likes me." Bridgette was looking more down again. "I wish I knew what was bothering her."

"Hey Bridgette," said another voice. Courtney looked around to see who this person was.

"Hi Katie," Bridgette said, noticing that Katie was looking unusually downtrodden. "Are you OK?" Courtney was looking confused by the current goings-on.

"I feel terrible, about last night," Katie said meekly, rubbing her shoe on the sand.. "I can't believe I voted for you. And that I accidentally got Geoff to kick himself off. And…" Katie noticed Courtney by Bridgette, then looked annoyed and got louder. "What is **she** doing here?"

"She's my friend," Bridgette said.

"But she's the enemy! She could have been getting you to spill all of your weaknesses!" Courtney looked embarrassed by that.

"Courtney's cool."

"But that was Courtney's own advice!" Katie looked irritated by Courtney's presence.

"Sadie knocked me unconscious! And I also see she's too chicken to come out and face me!" Courtney shouted. Bridgette rolled her eyes. She finally figured out what this was all really about.

"She's still asleep! And she said she was sorry!" Katie shouted back.

Bridgette was starting to look uncomfortable. "Can't we all just forgive and forget here?"

"No!" Katie and Courtney shouted. Courtney was storming off, but then turned around, and walked back over to Bridgette.

"I'm sorry, Bridgette. I didn't mean to yell at you, but I really can't stay here," Courtney said, glaring at Katie as she sad the last few words. With that, Courtney headed off again.

Katie looked nervously at Bridgette, who wasn't looking very happy. "I messed up again, didn't I?" Bridgette went over to give Katie a hug, though Katie was still looking guilty.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Courtney just creases me!  
Sadie: Oh my God, me too!  
Katie: We should start an anti-Courtney alliance, but who could we get to join?  
Sadie: Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!  
Katie: Sadiechu, I choose you!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!  
Katie: You know, I kinda' wish we were on her team just so we actually **could **vote her off.  
Sadie: Yeah, that'd help.

* * *

Bridgette, Katie, and Courtney all ran for cover when they saw Chris flying his rickety plane overhead. And not overhead by enough.

Leshawna opened the window to her cabin. "Oh hell no! Not this crap again!"

Chris landed the plane, and walked over to the cabins, where everyone was waking up.

"Now," Chris started, "since you're all here, it's time to start our next challenge!"

"Why so early," Heather complained. "We need our beauty sleep." Heather changed demeanor, trying a different approach. "Actually, wouldn't you rather be sleeping in too, Chris? Think of that warm, comfortable bed, that--"

"As nice as it is to sleep in, if it makes you guys suffer, it's well worth it, ha ha!" Chris smirked, then walked up to Lindsay with a megaphone, and shouted in her ear. "It's Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" Lindsay rocketed into the air, landing on her cabin, shaking, chattering her teeth, clenching to the chimney.

Heather smacked Chris. "That was cruel." Heather looked up to Lindsay and smiled. "Are you OK Lindsay? Jump down, OK? I'll catch you!"

"No!" Lindsay shouted. "You're trying to trick me!"

"It's OK, Lindsay," Tyler said. "I'll catch you."

Lindsay slowly made her way to the edge of the roof, then jumped into Tyler's arms, pushing him to the ground, and crushing him.

Lindsay looked at Tyler lovingly. "Aww, thank you Trent."

"I'm Trent." Trent was once again waving at Lindsay.

"Oh, sorry Taylor." Lindsay hugged Tyler even tight, tearing up.

Chris held the megaphone to Tyler's ear. "Can we get on with this?!" Tyler leapt into the air, and accidentally wound up on top of Heather.

"He's my boyfriend!" Lindsay shouted, pulling Tyler away. "You can't have him!" Lindsay stuck her tongue out at Heather as she left with Tyler.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Seriously, what do I have to do? I'm trying. I'm honest to God trying here.

* * *

Chris was walking up to Leshawna's ear with the megaphone. "Your--"

Chris was cut off when Leshawna gripped the megaphone away from him, and broke it in two. Or tried to break it in two.

"Man, this thing's harder to break than it looks. Eva, you mind doing me a favor?"

"Gladly." Eva came over to Leshawna and snapped the megaphone in two.

"Aww," Chris said. "I really liked that toy." Chris immediately whipped out a second megaphone, and shouted in Eva's ear. "Luckily, I have a spare!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: I only wish Eva would use her poowers for goode moore often instead of evil, ya' knoo?

Chris: (with a black eye) I probably should not have done that to Eva.

* * *

Chris now had a black eye, and Eva was looking very proud of herself. "Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted by you all--except Eva don't hit me!--your next challenge is a monster truck rally!"

"But we can't all drive," Gwen said.

"Maybe not legally," Duncan said, smirking at Gwen. Gwen blushed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Duncan had better **not **be flirting with that goth girl. Ooh, he's going to get it!

Trent: I could take Duncan on. Maybe. If I had backup. He'd better not try anything with Gwen! I'm serious!

* * *

"Well," Chris started, "you won't all be driving, but you all will be riding! We know who the licensed drivers are, and as luck would have it, there are three on each team."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: A monster truck? Me, driving a monster truck? (Courtney shrinks down, looking very nervous.)

* * *

"Now, Killer Chrises, the licensed drivers on your team are Katie, Justin, and DJ."

"No!" DJ shouted. "I'm not driving a monster truck! Those things are dangerous!""Duh!" Chris said. "You don't have a choice though, DJ. Your team automatically loses if you don't drive."

"Wait!" Gwen shouted. "It's not a best 2-out-of-3? If DJ doesn't drive, shouldn't we still win if we get the other two rounds?"

"Let me think. No! Ha ha. Automatic disqualification. And probably no marshmallow for DJ tonight."

DJ was looking very nervous. Gwen patted him on the back, smiling a bit. "We'll get through it, OK?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Chris, you are a twisted little man. And yet I would so love watching this sort of thing on TV, too. (Gwen sighs.)

* * *

Chris continued. "Screaming Pansies--lame name by the way."

"You gave it to us!" Heather shouted.

"Because you're losers. Duh. Your licensed drivers are Courtney, Izzy, and Lindsay."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Courtney? Lindsay? We are so dead. And Izzy? Well, whoever rides will her will quite literally be dead.

* * *

"So you all get to decide who's riding with who, and meet me over by the bigger plane in an hour so I can take you to the monster truck site. See ya' guys!" Chris went back to his rickety plane and few off, leaving the twenty-one campers to themselves.

As they watched Chris leave, Sadie broke the silence. "I want to ride with Katie!"

"And I want to ride with Sadie!" Katie shot back. The two girls squeed.

"But who's going to ride with us?" Sadie asked.

"Noah!" Katie beamed.

"What?!" Noah shouted, dropping the book he was reading. "No way. No way. No way!"

"Katie's a good driver. You won't have to worry. I rode with her before."

"And besides," Katie started, "you were so nice to us at the Playa' des Losers, we just kinda' figured you'd want to ride with us." Katie pointed to Justin, shielding her eyes. "I mean, I can't imagine you really wanted to go with your mortal enemy." Katie then pointed to DJ. "Or a guy who's so terrified that you'll surely be bruised and beaten."

"This is hardly the least of three evils," Noah said, reluctantly accepting Katie's and Sadie's offer.

"See, you're so smart, Noah!" Sadie exclaimed.

"Yeah, and you're so funny too, Noah!" Katie exclaimed, and then the duo squeed together.

"And I also don't like you," Noah said with fake enthusiasm.

"That's why you hung around us at the Playa' des Losers. Sure I'm buying that," Katie said, looking doubtful.

"You kept following me!" Noah shouted.

"It's OK, Noah, we won't be mean," Sadie said. "Katie's the nicest person in the whole wide world!""Aww, thank you, but really, you're the nicest person in the whole wide world, Sadie!""You're just saying that."

"Yeah, OK, it's me then," Katie said, giggling, before the two girls went into another squeeing fit.

"Geoff is a lucky son of a gun," Noah grumbled.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: You know, sometimes I wonder whether or not Noah actually likes us.  
Sadie: He doesn't really like anyone.  
Katie: But he always seems to happy when we're around.  
Sadie: Yeah, and he's always screaming when we're around!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

* * *

The rest of the Killer Chrises were having an easier time deciding who would be riding with whom.

"I'm going with Gwen," Duncan said. "Gwen, who are we riding with, anyway?

"DJ. He needs moral support if he's going to do this."

"I can live with that," Duncan said, smiling, putting his hand around Gwen.

"Please don't do that," Gwen said, shoving his arm off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: I wish Duncan would stop that. I mean, he's hot and all, but he already has a girlfriend. One who even seems to be trying to better herself now. I don't want to mess that up. (She pauses for several seconds, after which her eyes go wide.) And I have a boyfriend already, anyway!

* * *

Gwen walked over toward Courtney. "Hey, Courtney."Courtney turned around toward Gwen. "Yes, what is it?"

"How exactly…" Gwen was trying to figure out how to phrase this without making herself seem like the bad guy. "How can I stop Duncan from--"

"Oh, Gwen, that reminds me," Courtney said. "What's… oh, I'm sorry, I interrupted you."

"OK," Gwen said, confused. "Well, Duncan's been hitting on me, and--"

"What?!" Courtney shouted. "What have you--I, I mean, I'm sorry. I'll have a **talk **with him later," Courtney said, shooting a death glare Duncan's way.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: That worked out all right. I was really worried Courtney was going to get mad at me. I'm innocent, though! I mean, he is kinda' hot, but still, I wouldn't do that to Courtney.

Courtney: That slut! Trying to lure my Duncan away with her… "goth charms"! That was hard, holding that in, but I didn't want to say the wrong thing. Plus, I still needed to ask about Bridgette before getting on her bad side.

* * *

"Anyway, Gwen," Courtney continued, "could you tell me why you're mad at Bridgette?"

Gwen visibly soured by this question. "I really don't want to talk about it. I haven't even talked about it with Trent or Leshawna. I'll just say that she knows what she did, and leave it at that."

Courtney blinked in confusion. "Well, OK. Thank you, I guess."

"It's OK," Gwen said. "And I promise I'll try to get Duncan to quit hitting on me too, OK?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: You know, I'm almost not sure what's worse: that Gwen is hitting on Duncan, or that she's made enemies with sweet Bridgette for no reason at all! Really, she's one of the nicest people here. (Courtney starts to smile.) One of the only people I could talk to last year.

Bridgette: I really don't know what I did, Gwen. I really don't know! Please, please tell me!

Sadie: She tried to steal Trent! I saw it!  
Katie: Uh, no. I thought we settled that.  
Sadie: Oh, yeah. Heh. Sorry, Bridgette.

* * *

The larger plane landed in front of the campers, and Chris popped out.

"All aboard," Chris said. "Time to head to our special arena to destroy! Some! Monster trucks! The carnage! The demolition! It'll be awesome!"

"Oooh," Izzy said, looking at the plane. "Can I have some anesthetics? I'm really no good on an airplane. I tend to go a little bit…." Izzy paused, looking around suspiciously before continuing on. "Crazy."

"You? Crazy?" Noah asked, rolling his eyes. "No, not **you**, Izzy."

"Aww, be nice, Noah," Sadie said. "Izzy's afraid of flying."

"Yeah," Izzy said, walking up to Noah, and rubbing him under his chin. "Be nice, Noah," she said in a baby voice.

"Cut that out!" Noah shouted, slapping Izzy's hand away.

"Come on, just hit me with this mallet," Izzy said, as she produced a mallet from behind her back. "It'll knock me out cold and get me through the ride." Noah's eyes lit up, then his face went to a casual smile.

"Gladly," Noah said.

"Ooh, you can't do that, Noah," Katie said. "That'll hurt, and it'll give Izzy permanent brain damage!"

"I think it's a little late for that."

"Nah, Izzy doesn't have brain damage," Katie said. "She's just a bit eccentric. I had a cousin who made up crazy stories all the time, too, just to try to entertain us."

Izzy blinked, then frowned. "I don't make up stories."

"Yeah," Sadie said. "And my cousin from my cousin's third cousin once ate a live alligator on a dare, and then she started eating nothing but alligator, until one day, she turned into an crocodile."

"That's just an urban legend," Katie said, "and besides, you wouldn't turn into a crocodile from eating too much alligator. You'd totally turn into an alligator."

"Yeah," Sadie said, "but my cousin of my cousin's third cousin said it happened! You were with me, don't you remember?"

"Hit me now, Izzy, hit me now!" Noah pleaded to Izzy.

"Guys," Chris said from the plane, annoyed. "Any time now."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Wow! Katie and Sadie have a bunch of awesome stories, just like me! It's just too bad that all this exciting stuff happens to everyone they know, but none of it ever happens to them. Izzy needs to show them a fun time, uh-huh!

* * *

A while later, the plane, along with Chris and the twenty-one campers, arrived at its destination. The plane landed outside of a large arena. "And here we are, campers! The entrance is right over there, so please exit the plane in an orderly fashion."

And the contestants were getting off the plane orderly, just as Chris had asked. Bridgette and Geoff, followed by Gwen and Trent, followed by Chris shouting at everyone.

"People! When I said 'orderly fashion,' that was your cue to fight tooth and nail to be the first ones off the plane! Sheesh!"

"Uh, why?" Katie asked, irritated.

"Yeah, why?" Sadie asked, less irritated.

"Thank you, Little Miss Echo," Chris said, walking over to Lindsay, who looked scared of Chris. "And it's because…." Chris pushed Lindsay into the crowd who were orderly getting off of the plane. "Lindsay did it!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (looking blankly into the camera) I feel so violated.

* * *

Sure enough, it worked. After Lindsay crashed into everyone, they started fighting and accusing one another of pushing them, and Chris wound up getting the mad rush he was hoping for.

"Lindsay, do you have to be such a klutz?" Harold asked, annoyed.

"Lindsay, do you have to be such a moron?" Duncan joked. Courtney slapped him. "Hey babe, what was that for?"

"Not funny, Duncan," Courtney said, then went over to help Lindsay up. "Are you OK?"

"No," Lindsay said flatly, glaring at Chris.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: After that little incident with Eva earlier, I've learned an important lesson: if you're going to single someone out to pick on, make sure it's not someone who can fight back. Seriously, Eva: not cool.

Harold: It bothers me how someone like Lindsay gets by on life on just her looks. She'll trip and fall, and everyone just goes "awww." If I trip and fall, someone runs off with my pants!

* * *

The contestants and Chris walked into the arena, where they saw Chef parking a second monster truck on the field. He then jumped out of the truck, and walked over to Chris, with two sets of keys.

"Thank you, Chef," Chris said, patting him on the head. Chef just made a low growl as he walked away with a scowl on his face. First up is Katie, in the red monster truck, and Courtney in the green monster truck.

"Aww, there's no pink one?" Sadie said, frowning.

"Well, red is like dark pink," Katie said, smiling, putting her hands on Sadie's shoulders.

"Oh, right! No wonder you're the smart one!" Sadie exclaimed!

"I thought I read on your bios that Sadie was the smart one," Noah said. "Not that that's saying very much."

"Totally not true," Sadie said, then put her finger to her chin. "I think they got us mixed up."

"Can't imagine how that'd happen," Noah said, looking to the sky.

"So Katie?" Chris asked. "Who is going for a ride in the Katiezilla?"

"Katiezilla? That's an awful name!" Katie shouted. "It makes me feel ugly."

"Ooh, self-esteem crushing," Chris said, then thought for a moment. "I like it!"

"Let's call it Katie's Cute Crusher," Noah said. "That's semi-alliterative."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Yeah, I didn't want to be stuck with having to hear them complaining over the name of the truck the entire ride. Oh dear God, I did not want to be stuck with them in that monster truck complaining about the stupid friggin' **name **of the truck! And Katiezilla was a lame name, anyway.

* * *

"Ooh, I like that!" Katie said, smiling. "What do you think, Sadie?"

"Ooh, I like it too!" Sadie answered. "Let's call it that!"

"No!" Chris shouted. "It's Katiezilla, and that's final!"

"You can't make us call it that, Chris," Katie snapped.

"Yeah, you can't make us!" Sadie added. She and Katie then looked to Noah.

"Huh, oh yeah. You can't make us," Noah said.

Chris was steaming, but then Chef interjected.

"I like Katie's Cute Crusher. Lot better than your lame name, Chris."

That made Chris even madder, but he didn't seem to want to risk an angry Chef. "Fine! You can call it Katie's Cute Crusher, but I still get to call it Katiezilla! Then we'll see which name catches on with the viewers at home! And I'll win!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: You won't win, Chris. Even Lindsay would've realized what a stupid name Katiezilla was.

* * *

"So," Chris started, "I assume it'll be Sadie and Noah driving with you?"

"Oh yes!" Katie shouted. "I mean, you know Sadie and I love each other--"

"I wish you two would make out for the cameras already!" Chris shouted, annoyed.

"What?!" Katie shrieked, disgusted.

"Yeah. It'll be great for ratings! Tonight: two girls kiss! It'll be a hit! Just like when Noah kissed--"

Chris was cut short when Katie kicked Chris in the balls, and he lay on the ground in severe pain.

"You don't **do that!**" Katie screamed. "Katie and I are just friends! Just really close, **really good friends! **And Noah is **also **a good friend! Maybe not as close as Katie and I are, sure, but you will give him respect! **Got it?!**"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Remind me never to push her into a crowd exiting an airplane.

Noah: (Noah just sits there with his mouth agape.)

Sadie: Oh my God, you were awesome!  
Katie: I know! I was, wasn't I?  
Sadie: I hardly ever see you get that angry.  
Katie: Yeah, but Chris really went way over the line there. We're not lesbians!  
Sadie: It is kinda' fun to tease Noah sometimes, though.  
Katie: (blushing) Sometimes.

* * *

"All right!" Chef shouted to Courtney. "Who are you riding with?"

"Wait… where's Chris?" Courtney asked. Chef pointed over to Katie, Sadie, and Noah, where Chris was lying down. "What happened?"

"Katie kicked him where it hurt!" Chef shouted, then started speaking more softly. "I wouldn't mess with her if I was you."

"OK," Courtney said, still a bit confused. "Can Duncan ride with me?"

Chef shrugged. "He's not driving for the other team. What do I care?"

"Thank you!" Courtney exclaimed, and almost hugged Chef… until she realized she was about to hug **Chef**, then quickly backed down and blushed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (Courtney pauses for a moment, looking frightened.) That never happened.

* * *

"Well, I'll be driving with Duncan, Trent, and Gwen," Courtney said. "Gwen's not a driver, is she?"

"Nope," Chef stated.

"Wait," Courtney said, scratching her head. "That won't work. Duncan will flirt with Gwen if she's with us, but I really need Gwen and Trent together, so Duncan can't come with us."

"Look, missy," Chef said, getting more impatient. "I really don't care why you're choosing who you're choosing, I just want you to get to choosing!"

"Gwen, Trent, and Bridgette," Courtney stated.

"Fine by me. I'll round 'em up," Chef said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I really wish I could have taken Duncan with me, but it was more important to make sure Gwen was happy with Trent, and to try to fix things between her and Bridgette. I'm sure it'll all work out. Right?

Gwen: I know I promised DJ that I'd ride with him, but Chef doesn't really take no for an answer. It was nice of Courtney to think of me and Trent, though.

* * *

Katie and Sadie were sitting in the front seat of the red monster truck, Katie's Cute Crusher, with Noah sitting in the back. Courtney and Bridgette were sitting in the front seat of the green monster truck, Courtneysaurus--not a name Courtney liked--with Gwen and Trent sitting in the back, though being quieter than Courtney had hoped. After Chef was finished dragging Chris off the field, he came out with a megaphone.

"You know the rules!" Chef shouted, amplified even louder with the megaphone. "There are no rules! First one to crash the other car wins! And **go!**" And with that, Chef bolted from the field before either monster truck could possibly run him over.

"Hmm," Courtney pondered. "Who would put a manual transmission in a monster truck? That can't be good for the truck."

"I don't really think Chris cares about the trucks lasting for more than a few minutes," Bridgette said. "He probably hoped that you wouldn't know how to drive a stick."

Courtney scoffed. "How dumb does Chris think we are?"

"Well, Katie **is **driving the other car," Gwen said.

"It's not a car, Gwen, it's a monster truck," Trent stated proudly. Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Gwen," Bridgette said, smiling, looking back toward Gwen.

"Leave me alone!" Gwen shouted, then sulked.

"It's just Bridgette," Trent said. "I thought you liked Bridgette."

"Why did you even bring her?" Gwen asked. "She's not on your team."

"She's my friend, Gwen," Courtney said, irritated. "I wanted to be with my friend. And I thought you and Trent would like having the back seat together."

"She's a traitor," Gwen said flatly. "A damn traitor."

"Look, Gwen," Bridgette said. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Gwen asked, irritated by Bridgette's vague apology.

"I don't know. I'm sorry for whatever I did, though!" Bridgette put her head in her hands and started crying. Gwen seemed not to care.

The two monster trucks hadn't done much by this point. Courtney had been driving the green truck around in circles, while Katie was trying to figure out how to make Courtney crash.

"I thought you were a good driver," Noah said, irritated. "You've just been turning the car around and around."

"She is a good driver!" Sadie exclaimed. "She's never been in a crash, or even had a single ticket!"

"Which is the problem," Katie said. "I'm not very good at driving bad."

"Just ram into the side of the car," Noah said.

"But we don't want to hurt them," Sadie said.

"I do!" Katie shouted. "Courtney's driving!"

"Oh," Sadie said. "Then kill her!"

"Isn't that a little over the top?" Noah said.

"I guess," Sadie said, looking guilty. "Oh, this reminds me of when my second cousin of my second aunt had road rage, and tried to run this guy off the road, so she kept speeding up and back-bumping him, but then she tried to follow him on a drawbridge, but he made it just in time, and she crashed into the river."

"Oh yeah," Katie said. "And then she had to get out of the car, and swim to shore, but the only person there was the guy she was trying to run off the road, and she had to like promise to be his slave for the rest of her life or he wouldn't rescue her."

"Yeah, yeah," Sadie said, and continued blabbing on, going into surprisingly dark territory that he really didn't want to hear about.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: I really have **no **idea how they could be so "eeeiii" when talking about… that. (Noah shudders.)

* * *

Katie eventually started threatening Courtney's car, crashing into the side, while Courtney was having trouble aiming for Katie's car.

"That was for Sadie!" Katie shouted from the window. Courtney was trying desperately to turn around and get a good aim for Katie's car, but Katie was tailing Courtney so closely that she couldn't do much about it.

"Get in front of me!" Courtney shouted.

"Where did Katie go, anyway?" Bridgette asked, then noticed Katie's truck racing up a huge ramp in the area, flying high into the air.

"Are you crazy?!" Noah shouted. "So this is being a good driver?!"

"No, this is called winning!" Katie exclaimed, with a fiery passion burning in her eyes.

"Where is she?!" Courtney shouted, then noticed a dark shadow, looked up, and--

"Whoa!" Chris exclaimed. "That was awesome!" Katie's monster truck had pretty much flattened Courtney's. Katie and Sadie leapt out of their truck, hugging each other, while Noah slowly exited, shivering.

"I think someone should help them," Katie said ever-so sweetly, pointing to the passengers stuck inside the green monster truck.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: By all natural laws, we really should be dead right now. Though I will admit it, Katie is a damn fine driver. Really, how many people do you know who can steer in mid-air? And with such precision, too. That was pretty fun… I mean, aside from all the yak yak yak. I didn't much care for the conversation.

* * *

Chef was carrying Courtney, Bridgette, Gwen, and Trent from the green monster truck, onto gurneys. Gwen and Trent were notably smiling at one another as they were carted off.

"So," Chris started, in the middle of the field, "the Killer Chrises have taken the first round. Will they win? Oh, I certainly hope so! Will they win in the next round? I certainly hope not! That'd be a gyp if we didn't give all the campers a chance to ride, wouldn't it? Will I scold Chef for allowing members of the opposite team to ride with Courtney? Yes I will. So stay tuned to find out the answers to these questions--"

"But you just answered them," Noah stated. Chris, annoyed, pushed Noah down.

Chris continued. "As I was saying--oof!" Katie had kicked Chris in the balls once more.

"I thought I told you not to mess with Noah!" Katie screamed at Chris, then looked into the camera, surprised. "Oh, and you'll get to see more of me and Sadie, and find out if DJ is going to help our team out, or chicken out--"

"He'll chicken out," Sadie said.

"Probably," Katie said, shrugging, "but our team is depending on this win! Will Bridgette and Gwen ever make up?"

"No!" Gwen shouted from her gurney. "How does everyone even know about that?"

"You're not very subtle, Gwen," Katie answered.

"Yeah," Sadie added. "Not subtle." Gwen gave a "why me" expression.

"Find out the answers to these questions, plus many others, when we return to _Total Drama Katie!"_

"That's Chris," Chris said, sounding annoyed but weak. Katie stomped a foot on him, leaving Chris moaning. Katie then smiled brightly and waved for the camera, and shortly after, Sadie popped in to wave too.

* * *

Concrit or any other sort of review is welcome. I know Lindsay didn't figure much into this chapter, in case anyone was hoping the heavy focus on her would continue in every chapter, but she'll have more opportunity to shine. She isn't the only important person here, after all.


	4. Day 2, Part 2: Bridge of Understanding

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 4: Day 2: Part 2: Bridge of Understanding**

Chris was looking into the camera, not smiling, and sounding a bit winded. "And we're back. Be sure to stay tuned for our best campfire ceremony ever tonight, when Katie gets voted off."

"We'll see about that," Katie said, sneering at Chris.

"Hey, if Harold can rig the results, so can I!"

"They deserved it!" Harold shouted, crossing his arms.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Unfortunately, there are very strict laws about the host being a party to rigging these shows. I'm working to get those idiotic laws repealed, though.

* * *

"Anyway," Chris continued, "up next is DJ, who will be driving Sasquatchanakwa."

Noah rolled his eyes. "I'm guessing someone couldn't get the naming rights to Bi--"

"No one says the B-word," Chris said. "DJ is driving Sasquatchanakwa. And because Chef didn't seem to understand the rules, DJ, you'll need to pick two people from the Screaming Pansies."

"But Gwen was going to ride with me!" DJ said, nervously.

"Hey," Chris started, "if you want to complain, take it up with Chef. I had nothing to do with it, but if you want to talk to Chef about it, hey, I won't stop you."

DJ looked over to Chef, who was pounding his fist. "No, it's cool."

"So," Chris started, "who will be riding with you?

"Well, Duncan said he would--"

"Oh no!" Duncan shouted. "Don't get me in that deathtrap. Not with you driving!"

DJ scratched his head. "But you said--"

"Look. I said that when I thought I'd get to sit with Gwen."

"Aww," DJ said, looking down. "So, who should I pick?"

Over on the Pansies' side of the field, they were having discussions as well.

"I hope they pick Heather," Izzy said. "That way, we don't have to worry about riding with her, and she'll get crushed along with DJ's truck!"

"Um, hello, I'm right here," Heather said indignantly, waving in Izzy's face.

"Yeah, let's give them Heather!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"Sorry guys!" Chris shouted into his megaphone, right into Lindsay's ear again, causing her to jump into Tyler's lap, where they started making out on the ground.

Chris put his megaphone down. "Darn it. Couldn't she have leapt at Heather or something?" Chris asked, annoyed.

"We're going to give Heather on over, and I'll volunteer to be the brave soul to keep her in check," Izzy said. "If Heather gets out of line, then I'll use a trick my ex-boyfriend Sebastian used, pinching someone's nerves to knock them unconscious. Actually, he was never really my boyfriend. Actually, he was just a crab I saw on the beach hanging around a mermaid statue."

"I'm sorry, guys," Chris started, "but you don't get a say in the matter. DJ has chosen Owen and Cody to ride with him."

"This'll be awesome!" Owen shouted, grabbing Cody and pulling him to his armpit. "It'll be a guys only monster truck! No icky girls for us!"

Cody looked freaked out. "Why is that a good thing?"

"No girls to distract us from winning!" Owen said, then cheered and danced a bit.

"But we're going to be riding with the other team. Wouldn't we want DJ to lose?"

Owen suddenly looked down. "Oh, yeah."

Cody and Owen walked over to DJ, not looking particularly happy.

"Hey, Cody!" Beth exclaimed. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"Thanks," Cody said, and started flexing his, err, "muscles." "So, did you want to go out with the Codemeister?"

Beth looked confused. "I couldn't do that. I'm going out with Justin!" Justin looked horrified for a moment before regaining his composure.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: Look, it's simple math. I'm hot. I can't be seen with someone who's ugly. Wake me when Tyler and Lindsay break up. (Justin gets a devious look on his face, then starts rubbing his hands together.) Or maybe I can break them up.

Cody: (looking depressed) I didn't know she and Justin were going out. I wouldn't have hit on her if I knew.

* * *

"Look, sorry man, but I didn't know," Cody said to Justin. Justin just shrugged.

Over on the Screaming Pansies' side of the field, Chris was talking to the campers.

"So who's riding with Izzy?" Chris asked.

"Can Katie drive?" Izzy asked. "I want her on my team. She's a winner, she's got mad driving skills, and we can squee together and drive whoever's with us crazy! It'll be so much fun!"

"When I start driving, I'll have mad driving skills too," Harold said. "I'll be going to Mach Steve's Driving Camp when I get back home."

"Ooh, ooh!" Izzy started jumping up and down. "I want to mock Steve's driving camp, too! Sounds like fun. We'll show that Steve that we're better than him and make him cry like a baby, ha ha!"

"What are you talking about?" Harold asked. "Gosh!"

"OK, you're starting to bum Izzy out, so no riding with Izzy for you," Izzy said, a bit irritated. "And I definitely don't want to ride with Heather. She'll distract me. And Lindsay would probably like to ride with Tyler. So Leshawna and Zeke, you two are coming with me!"

"Nuh-uh. No way!" Leshawna shouted. "I was near death just riding with you on that bicycle last year! Ain't no way I'm riding with you driving a monster truck!"

Izzy waved it off. "And you survived, so you know that it's survivable. Plus, you'll be with the best driver here, well, except for Katie. Damn she's good. Really, I want to drag race with her one day! It'll be so fun, and I'll be vroom-vroom, and eeeeek! And she'll be like 'whoa, did Izzy just crash? I guess we won Sadie! Eeeiii!' And then I'll be deaf from their bizarre vowel obsession. You know? Then I'd--"

"Enough!" Leshawna shouted, then put her hand over her face, shaking her head. "Let's just get it over with." Izzy looked irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Whoa, did Leshawna get up on the wrong side of the bed, or what? I did that before, when my bed was against the wall, and when I woke up, I smacked right into the wall. Wrong side or what? But I'm pretty sure there was no lasting brain damage.

* * *

DJ was in the driver's seat of a red monster truck on one side of the field, with Cody in the passenger seat, and Owen in the back. Izzy was in the driver's seat of a green monster truck on the opposite end of the field, with Ezekiel in the passenger seat, and Leshawna in the back.

"And now," Katie started, shouting into a megaphone that looked just like Chris', "it's time for the battle of a lifetime, between DJ in the Sasquatchanakwa, and Izzy in… did Chris actually say what their truck was called?"

"Where did you get that from?!" Chris shouted, from across the field. "Give that back!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (into a megaphone) How many of these things does Chris keep on him, anyway? (Katie whips out a couple more megaphones from the floor.) Look! I can do three at once! Can you hear me now?

* * *

"I don't think so," Sadie said, jumping up and down, "so we get to make something up! How about the Izzekielmobile? Since Izzy and Ezekiel are both sitting in the front. They're so cute together!"

"Except Ezekiel was the person who said we were weak and stupid!" Katie said, not really noticing she was still speaking into the megaphone.

Ezekiel heard, and turned red. Izzy noticed and tried to comfort him. "Aww, are you OK, Zeke? She didn't mean it," she said as she started rubbing his face as one would do to a baby.

"I think she's still mad at me, eh?" Ezekiel said. "I didn't knoo better."

"Aww, don't worry, Zeke. I'll talk to Katie. We share a certain wavelength."

"Yeah, neither of you two ever shut up!" Leshawna said, irritated, crossing her arms.

"Don't worry about her either, Zeke," Izzy said. "I'm pretty sure it's just her time of the month. We can talk about it if you like, Leshawna." Leshawna just sulked in the back seat. Ezekiel looked back nervously.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: Time of the month? Why would Leshawna get angry the first week of the month? I don't get it. Do a lot of people get angry this time of the month? I doon't.

* * *

"All right!" Katie shouted, still using the megaphone, and still running with Sadie away from Chris. "On one side is DJ, in the Sasquatchanakwa, and on the other side is Izzy, in the Izzekielmobile!"

"The what?!" Owen shouted. "Izzy and… I don't remember his name… that… home-schooled… guy. Izzy and him are going out? No! No!"

"Calm down, Owen!" Cody said. "I'm sure Chris just thought it would be funny."

Chris overheard as he was running by. "That's not the name of their truck! It's Izzyzilla! Katie got the name wrong!"

"So Katie's trying to hook them up? Great flapjacks that's messed up!" Owen shouted.

DJ looked around the car, and noticed the shift. "Guy, we're in trouble. I can't drive a stick!"

"What?!" Cody and Owen shouted.

Katie and Sadie were still running from Chris, with Katie still yelling into the megaphone. "So who will be victorious? Our money's on Izzy, who has the mad skills that Harold makes believe he has!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (with bandages on her head) If I didn't despise that wench with every fiber of my being, I would love her for telling off Harold like that!

Beth: Even I know Harold has no mad skills. He's in denial. I'm sure Justin would agree with me!

* * *

"Izzy's on the other team, though," Sadie said to Katie, tapping her shoulder.

"Oh, come on. We all know DJ's gonna' lose," Katie said, still talking into the megaphone. "Poor DJ is going to be a mangled mess when Izzy's through with him. I wouldn't want to be riding with DJ, that's for sure."

Back in DJ's car, DJ had entered a comatose state, while Cody and Owen were looking very nervous.

"I'm sure Izzy won't be too rough, since she knows her boyfriend's riding… right?" Cody asked, looking nervous.

"That must be why she got a new boyfriend!" Owen shouted. "Let me outta' here!" Owen then just passed gas, which made DJ and Cody gag. "Sorry guys. Knowing I'm about to die gives me gas."

"What doesn't?" Cody asked.

Chris was still chasing Katie and Sadie around the field. "Come on! Give it back, please? Chef!" Chris was happy to see Chef standing nearby. "Grab them!" Katie and Sadie ran right on by, with Chef seeming not to care, pissing Chris off. "Dude, what was that about?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Pretty boy needed a workout. He'll never have this physique if he doesn't get out more. (Chef rips off his shirt and shows off his body for the camera.)

* * *

"Ready? Set? Go!" Katie shouted into the megaphone, with Chris still chasing them. DJ's truck just backfired, while Izzy seemed to be chasing Chris.

"What are you doing?!" Chris screamed. "Crush DJ! Crush DJ! You lose if you run down the host!"

"Fuddy," Izzy said, whipping her hand across her chest. "Well, it's time to kill DJ!"

"We shouldn't do that!" Ezekiel said. "DJ doesn't deserve to die, does he?"

"Don't worry, it's just an expression. Like when they say 'what's up?' they're not really asking about birds in the sky. Or when they say 'don't make a seven-layer cake while your friends are tied up and only have fifteen seconds to live before the bomb goes off and you're the only one who can defuse it,' they don't really expect you to just walk away from the cake."

"OK, you're scary," Leshawna said, looking freaked out.

"It was joost a teenage expression, though," Ezekiel said, then looked to Izzy. "I guess we need to teach her some teenage slang, eh?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: And people were scared of **Heather** last year? I mean, sure Heather's a horrible person, but something about Izzy just creeps me out, you know what I'm sayin'?

* * *

DJ's truck was doing some occasional jerking, but not much else. Izzy was in no hurry to crush DJ's truck, though, and just had her car staring down DJ's, as if it were waiting for the right moment to strike.

"She creeps me out," DJ said, high-pitched.

"Who puts a manual transmission in a monster truck, anyway?" Cody asked, scratching his head.

In the other truck, Leshawna was getting impatient. "What are we waiting for, Izzy? Smash into him, already!"

"Izzy needs to wait for the right moment," Izzy said. "The wild cat stalks its prey, but does not go for the kill to quickly. The wild cat spies on its prey, studies it, knows its behavior, and then, only at the right time, pounces onto the poor, unsuspecting tiger, and then they try to fine the poor, innocent cat for killing an endangered species, even though the poor wild cat was only doing what came natural to it."

"Is that more of that teenage slang?" Ezekiel asked, honestly not sure.

Leshawna looked uninterested, until it hit her. "Wait. Are you the wild ca--"

"No, no," Izzy said. "No time for that now, it's time for pouncing!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: You'd think people actually liked those murderous tiger beasts from that scolding the judge gave me, let me tell you!

* * *

Sure enough, Izzy's truck literally leapt off the ground, and looked like it actually bit into DJ's truck as it crashed into him, taking out a large chunk of it, knocking Owen completely out of the car.

"Owen!" Izzy shouted, leaping out of the seat while the truck was still moving. Ezekiel and Leshawna, scared out of their wits, managed to steer it to keep it from crashing until it eventually rolled to a stop.

"I think he's dead," Izzy said, forming tears, picking up Owen's arm. Then she dropped his arm, her eyes sucked the tears back in, and she was smiling ecstatically. "Just kidding. He just seems knocked out. Probably should have his head checked."

"And yours!" Leshawna shouted, rolling up her sleeve and running toward Izzy.

"Can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!" Izzy shouted, as she was performing flips to get away from Leshawna's chasing her.

"And the second round goes to the Izzekielmobile!" Katie shouted from her megaphone. "Go, Izzy and Leshawna!"

"And Ezekiel," Sadie added.

Katie shrugged. "We don't like him, remember?"

"Shouldn't you be supporting your own team?" Beth asked, running up to them. "You almost sound happy that we lost."

Izzy ran up to Beth and picked her up, rubbing their noses together. "Aww, Bethy-wethy, Katie was just having fun! Ya' gotta' relax every once in a while, kid." Izzy placed Beth down and patted her on the head. Beth was looking frustrated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Beth: Why do people treat me like I'm stupid little kid? I know Heather tricked me last year, but I learned from that. That won't happen again!

Izzy: (looking irritated) Sheesh, some people have no sense of humor.

* * *

Chris had given up trying to get the megaphone back from Katie after he remembered that he had another spare on him. "OK, campers! The score is now tied, one to one. Whichever team wins this last round is safe from elimination tonight. The other team is going to have to send one of their members home." Chris walked over to the Killer Chrises. "OK, I'm sure you all know that Justin will be driving, and Duncan, Eva, and Beth will be riding with him."

"Ooh, can I sit in front with Justin?" Beth asked, excitedly.

"Eh, why not?" Chris answered. "I'm sure your--heh--**boyfriend **would love your company," Chris said, making kissy faces to Justin.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Come on! I'm way hotter than Justin! Why doesn't Beth have a mad crush on me? (Chris pauses, and looks horrified for a second.) On second thought, I think I'm lucky that Beth is clearly aware that I am **way **out of her league.

* * *

Over with the Screaming Pansies, Chris was explaining the situation to them. "Lindsay, you're going to be driving. Tyler, Harold, and Heather, you'll be riding with her."

"Wait," Lindsay said. "You mean I have to ride with… Heather?" Saying Heather's name seemed to really bother Lindsay.

"Yes!" Chris exclaimed. "Isn't it awesome!"

"No," Lindsay said weakly, looking down.

"Cheer up, babe!" Tyler exclaimed. "If she tries anything, I'll mess her up good, I will!"

"You'd hit a girl?" Harold asked, looking in disbelief.

"No, man, I mean… I don't know! I'll do something, though!"

"Tyler, I'm sorry I threw the canoe at you," Heather said, her face turning red. "There's nothing wrong with inter-team dating."

Tyler wasn't sure how to respond. Lindsay knew, though. "She's lying. She's always lying!"

"I swear I'm not, Lindsay," Heather said, weakly. "I'm not the same horrible girl I was last year."

"So, you think I'm smart, now, Heather?" Lindsay asked, with venom in her voice upon speaking Heather's name.

"I don't," Heather said, looking depressed. "You're not smart, but you're loyal, you're friendly and--"

"That's enough," Lindsay said, not looking happy. "That's all I needed to hear."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: I know Lindsay's mad. I understand why Lindsay's mad, even. It's probably tearing her up that she can't trust me. I know Lindsay, and she's a sweet girl.

Lindsay: I wish Heather would quit trying to use me again! I'm not falling for it this time. (Lindsay starts to tear up, and her voice cracks a bit.) I'm not falling for that again.

* * *

Tyler opened the door on the driver's side of the truck and lifted Lindsay into the driver's seat. Harold saw, and decided to open the door on the other side. "Would you like some assistance, m'lady?"

Heather looked around, and realized Harold was talking to her. "Me?"

"You looked like you could use a little help."

"Thank you," Heather said quietly, as Harold lifted her into the back of the truck… or tried too. He wasn't strong enough, and Heather collapsed on him.

"I'm sorry for I have failed you, m'lady."

"It's OK," Heather said, blushing. Heather climbed into the truck, then lifted Harold up. And also helped Tyler up when she realized he was having trouble getting into it as well.

"Thank you," Tyler said to Heather. Lindsay glared at Tyler, and he looked nervous.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: Heather did something nice, and I thanked her. I swear, I can still mess her up something good if I need to Lindsay. (Tyler's eyes open wide) I mean, I wouldn't hit a girl! Darn it!

Lindsay: I didn't mean to be jealous, but I still remember what Heather did to Timmy last year, kissing him to make Gail angry. If I'm not careful, she might do that to my Taylor!

* * *

"Wait, this is a stick?" Harold asked. "Who makes a monster truck with a stick shift?"

"Idiots, I'm guessing?" Heather asked, giggling slightly.

"Well, yeah," Harold said, a bit confused. "Wait, were you mocking me?"

"No, I was just…" Heather said, then kinda' got lost in her thoughts. "I was just teasing ya'," she said, giving Harold a small punch in the arm, at which he winced in pain.

"Ow!" Harold shouted. "Keep away from me!"

Heather stayed on her side of the car, looking depressed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Does Harold really need to be so melodramatic? I'm trying to be nice, people! **Nice!**

Harold: I don't think Heather really did that on purpose, and she looked worried for me, but I was in severe pain! I needed to react quickly, because the blood wasn't getting to my right arm! I'm lucky I still have this arm!

* * *

In the other car, Beth was trying to work up the nerve to speak. "So… Justin… that's a nice name." Justin didn't answer.

"Just kiss already!" Duncan shouted, then smirked. "You know you want it, Justie. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!"

"Do you really need to do that?" Eva asked, grumpily.

"Well, if they're boyfriend and girlfriend, they ought to make out at least a little bit," Duncan said, still smirking. "Come on, Bethie and Justie. Mwah! Mwah!"

"We're not--" Justin started to shout, but was interrupted when Beth gave him a fairly long kiss on his cheek.

"Nice," Duncan said, grinning.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Beth: OK, I didn't mean to do that, but Duncan was just egging me on, and I don't know what happened… I just kinda' kissed him. He tasted so handsome.

Justin: That was disgusting! Being kissed by a pig-faced girl! Forget Lindsay, even that yak yak yak fat girl is prettier than Beth will ever be!

* * *

"All right!" Chris shouted from his megaphone, on the side of the field. "We have the battle you have all been waiting for! The battle between our prettiest guy fighting our prettiest girl! We have Justin driving Justinzilla--"

"Battling against Lindsay in Barbie's Corvette!" Katie shouted from her megaphone on the other side of the field.

"Oh yeah," Chris said to himself, without the megaphone. "She still has that thing." Chris put the megaphone back to his mouth. "That's not the name of Lindsay's monster truck!"

"Was it Lindsayzilla?" Katie asked, with a smug look on her face.

"Anyway," Chris continued, ignoring Katie's question, "it'll be a fight to the death between Justin and Lindsay."

"Who will win it for their team?" Katie asked. "Will Justin wipe the floor with Lindsay's cute little butt, which I wish I had--"

"Me too!" Sadie shouted, jumping up and down.

"Or will it be Lindsay who smashes Justin's beautiful face in? Oh, and speaking of Justin, congratulations on your new girlfriend, Beth! We heard about that… if you two break up, though, then I'll be there to steal you back, Justin, so look out! Meow!" Katie pawed in Justin's direction.

"No, Justin will go out with me," Sadie said indignantly.

"No, Justin would so totally choose me," Katie said.

"Why?" Sadie asked, annoyed. "Just go ahead and say it. I'm the fat one!"

"No Sadie," Katie said, trying to comfort her friend, though still holding the megaphone to her mouth. "I didn't say that. I mean, duh, I've noticed, but I don't care if you're a little heavier than I am. You're my best friend! I just really, really like Justin. If I were the fat one, I'd still want Justin more!"

"You mean that?" Sadie asked, as the two gave each other a tight hug, then started squeeing, with the megaphone **still **to Katie's mouth, deafening the entire arena.

"**STOP!**" Chris shrieked into the megaphone before putting it down. "I hope I'm not going to be responsible if these kids all lose their hearing." Chris then put the megaphone back up to his mouth. "If you guys can still hear me, Justin, Lindsay, go!"

And the trucks were off! Or at least Lindsay's was. Justin's truck was just sitting there.

"Justin, go!" Eva screamed. Justin seemed to be in a comatose state, though, still in shock from Beth's kiss. "Go already!"

"I don't think that's going to work," Duncan said, waving his hand in front of Justin. "He's out cold."

"This is your fault, punk!" Evan shouted. "You pushed Beth into kissing him!"

"Then I'll get us out of this mess! I know how to drive!" Duncan said, grinning.

"But you don't have a license," Beth pointed out. "Is this legal?"

"Nope," Duncan said. "Never stopped me before." Duncan shoved Justin into the back, where Eva was looking longingly at him, as Duncan took off in the truck… though not easily.

"Aww, a stick shift? You've gotta' be kidding me!"

"Tough guy can't drive a stick?" Eva mocked. "Who'd have guessed."

"Really, why the hell would anyone drive these things?" Duncan said, annoyed. Lindsay's truck was having no problems moving, though.

"You can drive a manual, Lindsay?" Heather asked, impressed.

"My parents thought it was a good idea. They wanted me to build some character, for some reason." Lindsay said, not even realizing who she was talking to in her moment of excitement, racing the truck after Justin's… err, Duncan's truck.

"You go, Lindsay!" Tyler shouted. "Show that Justin who's boss!"

"Or Duncan. It looks like Duncan's driving," Harold pointed out.

"Wait… Duncan can't drive," Tyler mentioned. "Can he?"

"Not a manual, anyway," Heather said. "Look! He's driving it pretty badly. He has no idea what he's doing!"

"Good," Lindsay said, smirking. "I'm going for the kill!"

"Yeah!" Tyler shouted. "Let's eat 'em!" Harold and Heather looked at each other confused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: It was great, seeing Lindsay in such control, dominating this round like that. I was really surprised she could drive like that. I'm really glad I was wrong about that.

* * *

"Lindsay, I'm sorry for doubting you," Heather said. "You're doing great!"

"Thank you, and I know!" Lindsay answered, smiling back for a second, before getting serious again, going after Duncan's truck.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: Wow, Lindsay and Heather getting along again? I don't believe it! It might've just been the thrill of the competition getting to Lindsay, though. I know I can get mean and nasty on the field sometimes… I guess Lindsay gets friendlier, or something. Still not sure if Heather's trustworthy, though.

* * *

"Man, we're dead!" Duncan complained, realizing they were sitting ducks.

"Not if I can help it!" Eva shouted, and jumped out of the truck.

"Is she crazy? What is she doing?" Duncan shouted, then looked as he saw Eva was going to face down the truck. "What, is she going to pick it up and throw… oh my God, she's going to pick it up and throw it!"

Katie and Sadie were staring in amazement on the side of the field. "Is she allowed to do that, Katie?" Sadie asked.

"She's on our team, so I say yes!" Katie shouted, still compulsively holding the megaphone to her mouth.

"For once, I agree with her," Chris said, smirking, without the megaphone. "Eva throwing the car! That's gonna' make for awesome TV!"

The passengers in the green car were worried, though. "Is she trying to throw our car?!" Harold shrieked. "Is she nuts?!"

"Duh," Heather answered. "Last season proved that."

"Lindsay, watch out!" Tyler screamed.

"I think it's time I whipped out some of my many mad skills," Harold said.

"Harold, you don't have mad skills," Heather said. "I mean, you're a nice guy, but--"

"Watch and learn." Harold hopped up to the roof of their monster truck, going to the back. When they got close, Harold started running down the roof, over the hood, then dove like a missile at Eva, slamming her to the ground. She wasn't down for long, but it was enough for Lindsay to pass.

"Wow! He really does have some mad skills!" Heather exclaimed, blushing.

"OK," Chris said. "That might not have been quite as awesome as seeing Eva throw the car, but still, that was pretty awesome too, I admit."

"What?" Katie shrieked, and looked like she would cry. "No! The Pansies can't win! We need this!"

"Katie, I'm sorry," Sadie said, hugging her friend.

"Crap!" Duncan shouted, as Lindsay's truck was racing behind his, ultimately completely climbing over his truck, rendering it a wreck.

"And we have our winners!" Chris shouted. "The Screaming Pansies!" Most of the Screaming Pansies, minus Courtney, Trent, and Owen, were all celebrating and cheering each other on, particularly cheering for Izzy, Lindsay, and Harold.

"As for you, the Killer Chrises," Chris started, looking toward them, minus Bridgette and Gwen. "I'm really disappointed in you guys. Especially you, Katie."

"But I actually won my round," Katie said, indignantly.

"And you kicked me **there**," Chris yelled, pointing to where he meant, "and even worse, you stole my megaphone!"

"Katie," Noah said, looking sick, "you were great out there today."

"Really?" Katie asked, tearing up a bit, before glomping Noah, "thank you! Thank you! I knew you liked me!"

"And me! Group hug!" Sadie shouted, joining in the hugging.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: And just like last season, my big mouth got me in trouble. I was starting to remember why I didn't like those two.

* * *

On the Screaming Pansies side of the field, Heather was congratulating Lindsay. "That was great, Lindsay!" Heather gave Lindsay a hug, though Lindsay looked uncomfortable with it.

"Thank you," Lindsay said, before finally smiling. "I guess I could be civil with you, Heather. It's hard staying mad. I still don't trust you, though."

"It's OK," Heather said, a bit sad. _I know what I did._ "Harold," she said, looking to him. "That was really an impressive display out there."

"I know," Harold said rather matter-of-factly. "I learned that while practicing ballet on a conveyor belt, since you never know when practicing ice skating on a conveyor belt made of ice, since you never know what those skills can come in handy."

"You're not such a bad guy," Heather said, smiling. "I mean, you brag a lot, but if you really have all these 'mad skills,' then why not let the world know?"

"So can I see your boobies again?" Harold asked, staring at Heather's chest. Heather was taken aback, and smacked him across the face.

"Pervert."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: Too soon, I guess.

Heather: (Heather looks a bit freaked out.) Urgh… did he really need to remind me of… of **that**?

* * *

"Harold, you were awesome!" Izzy shouted, jumping around him. "I saw you were like 'errr,' and then you were like 'yaaa,' and then 'whoosh,' and you had Eva down with those mad skills that you keep saying you have, and you finally walked the walk that you'd just been talk talking before, and man, that was just great!"

"It's too bad Courtney missed it, eh?" Ezekiel added in, shaking Harold's hand. "Maybe she'd lighten up on you if she saw you helping oot your team like that."

"I guess." Harold shrugged.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: So later, Lindsay and Heather both told me how Harold saved our butts from elimination tonight. I think they just wanted me to go easier on him, because I know he wasn't one of the drivers. Really, since when has anyone been legitimately helped from a backseat driver? (Courtney crosses her arms, and looks to the side.) Honestly. Though at least, I guess, it was nice to see them corroborating together for such a story.

* * *

The Killer Chrises weren't as happy. "It's your fault we lost!" Eva shouted, shoving Duncan with a finger. "If you hadn't egged Beth on, Justin would've been just fine to drive!"

"Come on," Duncan said, annoyed. "There's no way Justin could have outdone Lindsay's driving out there. You and I both know pretty boy couldn't have handled her, anyway. Besides, it's your fault for getting knocked down by Harold! I mean, hello! Harold! Skinny little wimp! The one person even Noah could take on!"

"Thank you for you vote of confidence," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"I underestimated him," Eva said, looking dejected. "He's tougher than he looks, OK?!"

"Well, I'd say it's Katie's fault we lost," DJ said.

"What?" Katie asked, confused?

"Yeah," Duncan added. "I mean, I want them gone as much as the next guy, but how was it Katie's fault, of all people?"

"She made me nervous!" DJ shouted, his voice cracking. "I couldn't drive under the pressure, and she was making me scared, saying I'd be a bloody mess."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: DJ's such a liar! I used to think he was a nice, stand-up guy, but he's such a liar!  
Sadie: Yeah, lying about poor Katie just to save his own skin.  
Katie: I said mangled mess. I didn't say bloody mess, I swear!  
Sadie: Yeah, he just didn't want to admit that you were awesome with your driving?  
Katie: I know!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

* * *

"You were already nervous," Noah said flatly to DJ. "You were complaining the whole time, instead of just doing your job."

"Like you did in the dodge ball game last year?" Justin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, nya nya yes." Noah said, quite irritated.

"What about Justin?" Duncan asked. "I mean, he's the one who brain stopped functioning after his 'girlfriend' kissed him. Shouldn't he be getting flak for that?"

"Sorry," Justin said. "I was just a bit surprised. I… um… wasn't expecting that."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: No one expects or wants that! Seriously, I may have gotten ugly germs on my beautiful face!

* * *

"I guess it was sweet of you though, Beth," Justin said. Beth blushed.

"Aww, thanks! I'm sorry I costed us the win like that, though."

"That's right, it's Beth's fault," Duncan said, trying to find something that would stick.

* * *

In a back room, Courtney, Bridgette, Trent, Gwen, and Owen were lying down, with some interns tending to their wounds, with bandages on their heads.

"I hope we didn't lose," Courtney said, saddened. "They'd probably vote me off for being a big loser and getting you guys hurt."

"I'm sorry, Courtney," Bridgette said, "but I really hope we won. They nearly voted me out last time. I probably won't be so lucky next time."

"And you shouldn't be!" Gwen snapped. "You should be ashamed! You got Geoff kicked off!" The others were looking at Gwen, confused.

"I didn't make him do it," Bridgette said. "Geoff really wanted to."

"I'd never let my boyfriend cheat for me!" Gwen shouted. "I'd break up with him before I let him do that." Trent looked a bit uncomfortable with that.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: I have to admit, the thought did cross my mind… I guess I can't if she's going to break up with me over it, though. Hmm… I wonder if she'd be impressed if I got a letter G tattoo?

* * *

"Gwen," Courtney started, "why don't you just tell Bridgette what's bothering you?"

"It should be obvious," Gwen said. "If you really don't know, Bridgette, you must be an idiot."

"Gwen!" Courtney shouted.

"It must be a blonde thing. Lindsay's an idiot… should've known you were, too."

Bridgette just looked in disbelief at Gwen's words, then just sulked.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Seriously! What do I have to do? I'm not a mind-reader! I'd never hurt Gwen on purpose! That really hurt, though, calling me an idiot. I wonder if that's how Lindsay feels when people call her stupid? (Bridgette thinks it over for a moment.) I'm sorry, Lindsay.

* * *

"How **dare **you treat Bridgette like that!" Courtney was furious, and was letting out all of the anger she had been holding in. "You think you're all holier-than-thou when you're trying to **steal my boyfriend!**" The others had gone wide-eyed, Trent in particular.

"Excuse me?" Gwen said. "I don't want Duncan. He just keeps hitting on me. I can't get him to stop!"

"Gwen!" Trent cried. "Why, Gwen, why?!"

"I'm not seeing him! Urgh!" Gwen screamed. "Won't anyone listen to me?!"

"No!" Courtney shouted. "Not until you start treating Bridgette with a little respect!"

"She doesn't deserve it!" Gwen shouted. "She betrayed me!"

"Gwen," Bridgette said, "I'm sorry everyone's losing it. I didn't mean for this to happen." Bridgette started crying.

"Look what you did!" Courtney screamed.

"Enough, Courtney, please," Bridgette pleaded. Looking into Bridgette's tearful eyes was enough to calm Courtney down enough to get her to shut up, though everyone could still hear Trent's sobbing.

"You can stop Trent," Gwen said, leaning over to hug, and then kiss him, which calmed him down.

"Look, Bridgette," Gwen said. "You really did hurt me, but maybe I could be a little more receptive. Maybe it was my fault, for thinking you were so nice and perfect and loved by everyone… maybe you deserve to know."

"Thank you." Bridgette smiled. But before Gwen could say anything else, the interns were hurrying them out, and back onto the plane.

"I guess this isn't the right time, though?" Bridgette asked, smiling.

"Later, I promise," Gwen smiled back.

"Gwen, I'm sorry, too," Courtney said, upset with herself for losing it.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: I know Courtney didn't mean to say it, but she said it. She's jealous, and she thinks I'm leading Duncan on. I'm really not! I love Trent! We're having a bit of a bumpy time now, I admit, but even if we broke up, I wouldn't do that to Courtney. We're friends… or we're on friendly terms, anyway.

* * *

Back at camp, the Killer Chrises were filling in Gwen and Bridgette on the bad news.

"We lost," Duncan said, shrugging. "A lot of people are to blame, including you, Bridgette. Where were you, even?"

"With me," Gwen said. "We were both badly hurt, and needed to be tended to. You wouldn't get upset with me, I hope." Gwen smiled innocently, and Duncan backed down.

"I won't tell Courtney," Bridgette whispered to Gwen, smiling.

"I'm trying to look out for you too, here." Gwen smiled back, then turned back to the rest of her team. "So I know Katie won the first round… why did DJ and Justin lose their rounds?"

Duncan smirked. "DJ was too scared too do anything, and Justin entered a state of shock for some reason."

"Which was Duncan's fault, by the way," Eva said, grinning menacingly.

"Not my fault the guy can't handle a kiss."

"Ooh, you two should have seen it!" Katie exclaimed. "Harold did some sort of fast dive bomb thing to help his team win the final round, which was really cool, well, except that it caused our team to lose."

"And Izzy and Lindsay really ruled in their trucks!" Sadie exclaimed, and the two girls squeed together.

"Wait," Gwen said. "Izzy I can believe, but Lindsay? You've got to be kidding me!"

"It's true," Eva said, hanging her head in shame.

Chris walked out to the Killer Chrises. "It's time to cast your votes! You know the drill."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: DJ, you're outta' here!  
Sadie: Seriously, I can't believe he lied on you.  
Katie: I know.  
Sadie: (pauses) So, I guess this isn't the right for squeeing either?  
Katie: Right.

DJ: Sorry Katie, but I am now deaf because of you. Practically deaf, anyway.

Eva: Duncan, you screwed up. Stop trying to blame Justin and Beth, already! Besides, (Eva starts looking dreamy.) Justin's too dreamy to blame…. (Eva pauses, then goes back to looking serious.) Err, you'd better edit that part out, or else! (Eva makes a fist for the camera.)

Gwen: Katie, if only so I don't have to hear your yak yak yakking again. And because you put me and Trent in intensive care. That doesn't exactly endear me to you, either.

* * *

"All right, campers," Chris solemnly said. "I'm disappointed in the lot of you. I mean, really. The Killer Chrises, beaten by Screaming Pansies. Two weeks in a row… it's embarrassing!" Chris took out a plate of marshmallows. "On this plate there are nine marshmallows. Only nine of you will receive a marshmallow. The one who does not receive a marshmallow must walk the Dock of Shame, at the end of which you will board the Boat of Losers, and you can never return--"

"**EVER!**" Izzy shouted in Chris' ear with three megaphones, and watched as he came falling back down to earth with enough force to leave a small hole in the ground.

"What the heck was **that **for?! Ow…" Chris said, rubbing his body all over, trying to soothe the pain.

"I dunno'. Just thought to give you a taste of your own medicine." Izzy said nonchalantly.

"Fine. I'm sick of the megaphones anyway." Chris reached for the plate of marshmallows. "When I call your name, please come up and receive your marshmallow."

"Gwen."

"Noah."

"Justin."

"Eva."

"Sadie."

"Beth."

"Bridgette."

"Duncan."

DJ was looking quite nervous. Katie was looking angry. "What did I do to deserve this?!"

"You don't shut up!" DJ shouted. "You never shut up! Ever hear silence is golden? No! Of course not! You never heard that expression because you just never friggin' shut up!" DJ looked around, then hung his head down. "Sorry, Mama. I lost my cool there."

"May I continue?" Chris asked, annoyed. "Thank you. The final marshmallow of the night, and the one of you two who gets to return to safety is…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Katie."

Katie blew a raspberry to DJ, as she walked over to receive her marshmallow, but not before being plowed down by her friend, glomping her in glee.

"Oh, I was so worried, Katie, but you're safe! Eeeiii!"

"I was worried too, Sadie! I came so close before, and so close again tonight, but I made it again!" And the two girls squeed together for a while, as Chris walked up to DJ.

"Sorry, bra," Chris said. "Personally, I would have voted Katie off myself, but I don't get a say in the matter. I called my lawyers to check, but they confirmed it. Dock of shame awaits."

DJ walked off, looking down, as he walked down the Dock of Shame, and boarded the Boat of Losers, as he waved back to his fellow Killer Chris members. Most waved back: Katie and Sadie glared menacingly, though, which frightened DJ inside the boat when he noticed.

Chris looked into the camera, smiling. "And thus ends another exciting day. DJ's been voted off, and Geoff left us last time: is the third member of the DJ-Geoff-Duncan friendship going home next?"

"No way!" Duncan shouted.

"The Killer Chrises, so far, have been royally sucking, losing the first two challenges. Will the third time be the charm for them, or will they continue on this horrible losing streak? We still have some big questions on our minds though. Why was Gwen mad at Bridgette? Why is Beth so utterly clueless around Justin? And who's bright idea was it to feature Katie in such a ridiculously large role in this episode, anyway? Seriously, she's just about the least-popular character with our viewers. I'll need to have a talk with someone about that. But find out the answers to these questions and more next time--or at least, eventually--on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

As the Boat of Losers neared the Playa' des Losers, Geoff was waiting to greet his friend as DJ got off the boat.

"Sorry, dude," Geoff said, putting his arm around DJ. "That was tough. I thought for sure they were going to knock off the loud chick."

"It's OK," DJ said, smiling at Geoff. "I left with my dignity in tact."

"Except for that way-cool blowup at Katie!" Geoff said, oblivious to DJ's feelings.

"Thanks," DJ uttered, irritated.

* * *

**Votes**

Beth: Duncan  
Bridgette: DJ  
DJ: Katie  
Duncan: Bridgette  
Eva: Duncan  
Gwen: Katie  
Justin: Beth  
Katie: DJ  
Noah: DJ  
Sadie: DJ

DJ: 4  
Katie: 2  
Duncan: 2  
Bridgette: 1  
Beth: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ

Remaining Killer Chrises: Beth, Bridgette, Duncan, Eva, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Noah, Sadie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Tyler, Trent

* * *

It was DJ's time to go. He's not that popular a character, is he? Don't think I'll get **too **too much hate for that one. It's basically a case of DJ not really having any important plot threads, and also as I've learned, when writing for him, I don't feel him at all. I was originally planning on having DJ leave a bit later, but I'm flexible, and I'd rather not force myself to follow the strict plan if I feel the story should go in a slightly different direction.

I love concrit, if you wish to give it! Or if you want to just give a simple review, that's nice too. Or if you want to yell at me for kicking off DJ, or yell at me for making the Killer Chrises lose two challenges in a row, or yell at me because you despise the Wonder Twins… all up to you!


	5. Day 3, Part 1: Sailor Buffoon

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 5: Day 3: Part 1: Sailor Buffoon**

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, making grand gestures as he started speaking. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris_, the contestants took part in a monster truck demolition rally, trying to wreck their opponents' trucks, and boy, was their carnage, ha ha! Katie opened the games winning a point for the Killer Chrises, by completely annihilating Courtney's truck, so much that she and her passengers needed to be sent out of the arena to be taken care of by our interns who, quite frankly, have no right to act in any medical capacity. But we can't afford real doctors! We're on a budget, after all!"

Chris continued with more dramatic gestures. "But DJ, partly because of Katie, and partly because I specially ordered the trucks with stick shifts, was helpless to Izzy's… well, Izzyness, which gave a point for the Screaming Pansies, which, as I had hoped, led to the necessary tiebreaking third round, where Duncan's teasing of Beth to kiss Justin turned out to be a mistake, since it turns out Justin doesn't really like Beth. And really, who would? We only put her on the show so the home viewers could laugh and point, because we care! Eva came close to pulling out the win, but Lindsay's mad driving skills, and Harold's mad divebombing skills--apparently, he wasn't just making them up, after all--proved to be too much for her, giving the Screaming Pansies the win."

Chris whipped out a couple of megaphones, looking at them, frustrated. "Meanwhile, as they were recovering, Courtney finally blew up at Gwen for flirting with Duncan, and as Bridgette was trying to calm her two friends down, Gwen finally decided to let go of her anger toward Bridgette, which we still don't really know what that was about, anyway. In the end, Katie had gotten on pretty much everyone's nerves--yours truly most of all--but Katie and Sadie, along with Noah, oddly enough, decreed that DJ was useless, and sent him home."

Chris frustratedly slams the megaphones into the lake. "I did not much care for the decision, myself. But who will be going home today? Will the Killer Chrises finally win one? If not, will they finally send Katie home? Will I get a date with Katie Holmes? Find out, coming up now, on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

Around the middle of the day, the campers were all relaxing around Camp Wawanakwa. Tyler was trying to find Lindsay, but ran into Justin. "Hey, Tyler."

"Hey there."

"Look, Tyler," Justin said. "I was wondering if you had a spare red jumpsuit I could borrow."

"What do you need it for?" Tyler asked. "I'm not sure I like the thought of someone else in my clothes. Never understood how it doesn't gross girls out."

"Oh, it's an emergency! I desperately need something so I can, uh, go jogging. To keep up this gorgeous bod, of course." Justin takes off his shirt to show Tyler his body.

"Uh, OK. I guess," Tyler said, looking confused. Meanwhile, Bridgette and Eva were out on the lake, though, sitting on a couple of surfboards, as Eva was lifting her weights on it, and fell off her board.

"Trickier than you thought, isn't it?" Bridgette said, smiling, as Eva climbed back onto her board.

"Yeah, it is," Eva said calmly. "I like a challenge, though."

"And you've made it through two campfire ceremonies so far," Bridgette added.

"Yeah. I'm trying to control my temper. Blowing up at everyone didn't help me last year."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: Courtney and Heather still deserve it, though. I'll admit that scaring the crap out of people who didn't deserve it may have been going a bit overboard last year, but there's nothing wrong with some payback on those who have wronged me, right?

* * *

"And you're showing everyone that you're a strong player this year. I heard that you almost won the truck rally for us."

"I did," Eva said, looking disappointed. "I underestimated my enemy, though. That should not have been a mistake I had made."

"Come on, Eva," Bridgette said, giving her a light punch in the arm. "None of us knew Harold had actual mad skills!"

"I'll be ready next time, I promise," Eva stated. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I will not allow."

"Bridgette! Bridgette!" Bridgette and Eva heard a couple of high-pitched shouts coming her way, as Katie and Sadie running their way. Eva audibly groaned as she saw them coming toward them.

"Bridgette?" Katie asked as she made her way to the edge of the dock. "Do you know why people don't like me?"

"I don't get it either," Sadie added. "I mean, Katie's like the best friend ever!"

"No, you are," Katie said, looking back at her friend, as the two squeed in delight, as Eva covered her ears.

"I think you two have been bothering people," Bridgette said.

"What?" Katie asked.

"No way!" Sadie claimed.

"We're like the friendliest people ever!" Katie exclaimed, as the two started another squeeing fit.

"Well for one," Bridgette started, "that screaming sound you two do tends to bother people."

"The squeeing?" Sadie asked, confused?

"Yes," Bridgette said. "I think. I'm not exactly sure what squeeing is, though."

"Oh, it's like when we go eeeiii!" Sadie exclaimed.

"Then yes," Bridgette said. "The squeeing, as you call it."

"But we're just happy," Sadie said, looking saddened by the news.

"And I won the truck thing!" Katie shouted. "Don't I get credit for that?"

"You weren't eliminated, were you?" Bridgette said, then walked over to Katie, putting an arm around her. "I'm not entirely sure what went on after your truck landed on us, but I think it bothered people."

"That's an understatement," Eva added.

"But why?" Katie asked, confused. "I was just having fun with Chris' megaphone."

"Because," Bridgette said, trying to think of how to word things, "well, you see--"

"You don't shut up!" Eva shouted. "You don't shut up, you're loud to start with, and all our ears were ringing when you kept shouting everything into that megaphone, making our team uncomfortable, and ultimately causing our downfall!"

Katie turned pale, and after a few seconds of just standing there with her jaw dropped, finally broke down and started to sob. Sadie tried to comfort her, wiping Katie's eyes with a Kleenex.

"Don't listen to her," Sadie said, trying to be comforting. "Eva's just a big meanie." Sadie shot a look at Eva, which surprised Eva for a moment, not expecting such a glare for Sadie, of all people.

"Actually," Bridgette said, "Eva's right. A little tactless, but right."

"Huh?" Sadie asked, obviously confused.

"You two just need to be more considerate of others' feelings. You two are nice and friendly, but you also tend not to notice everyone else around you."

"But I stood up for Noah," Katie said. "Chris was picking on him, and I came to his rescue, like a princess in a beautiful dress!"

"Oh?" Bridgette asked, smiling, cocking an eyebrow. "Do tell."

"Well, Chris was making fun of me and Sadie, calling us lesbians, and that really hurt, because we're so totally not, we just love each other, just like we have all our lives, but not in that way, but then Chris started saying Noah was gay and he liked Cody, and I couldn't stand Chris defaming him like that, and I just kinda' lost it. I'm sorry." Katie started rubbing her shoe against the sand.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Wow. Chris is a real jerk… which I guess shouldn't be that surprising. I feel bad for Katie, but she needs an outlet that doesn't wind up offending the whole team.

* * *

"So that's why you--" Bridgette said, then stopped herself. "I was wondering what that was about."

"Chris is an ass," Eva said, irritated.

"Bridgette, Eva, I'm sorry," Katie said softly, and then went over to give Bridgette a light hug, and then even Eva, who reluctantly accepted.

"I'm sorry too," Sadie said.

"You didn't really do anything, Sadie," Katie said, smiling at her friend.

"Oh… I just kinda' figured that if you did something wrong, I probably did too, since we usually do everything together, and stuff."

"You two are different," Bridgette said, smiling. "Katie seems to lead, trying to put your best interests in mind, and Sadie, you seem eager to please. It's sweet, really."

"I never understood why our biographies said I was the smart one," Sadie said, turning a little red. "Katie's always the one who helped me in school, to make sure I can pass each grade so we can go up together."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: I never really understood how either was the smart one, myself.

* * *

The group was approached by Gwen, walking with Trent playing his guitar.

"Did you like that song, babe?" Trent asked. Gwen blushed.

"That was sweet," she said. "Can I talk to Bridgette now, though?"

"I don't mind," Trent said, shooting a wink at Gwen.

"Alone, please?" Gwen asked, smirking.

"I guess. No Duncan, though. Promise?"

"Promise!" The two hugged and lightly kissed each other before Trent walked off, and Bridgette walked over to Gwen, and the two started walking off.

"I'm really sorry for whatever I did," Bridgette said, looking at the ground.

"I'm sorry I was brooding and secretive," Gwen said, not looking too happy. "I guess since it hurt me so much, and I know you're one of the smartest people here, I figured you remembered as well as I did."

"I wish I remembered," Bridgette said. "I'm still a blonde though. A little ditzy."

"I'm sorry about that comment yesterday," Gwen said, rubbing her own arm.

"Huh?" Bridgette said, confused. "Oh, that. No, really, I'm a little ditzy and spaced out sometimes."

"Anyway," Gwen continued. "Do you remember last season? When Owen and I were competing in that final race?"

"Yeah," Bridgette said. "You almost won… I'm sorry you lost, but we did have that nice yacht party that Owen--oh no!" Bridgette collapsed, crying, with all of it coming back to her. _"That's _what I did!"

"That really hurt," Gwen said. "And I know you weren't the only one who switched allegiances after Owen offered the yacht party, but I really thought you were my good friend. I mean, Justin? Lindsay? I wasn't close to them. I was really surprised you went over to Owen's side, though."

Bridgette continued kneeling on the ground, still crying a little. "That was wrong. I wish I could say I had a good reason, but I don't. I just liked the thought of a yacht party. I'm so sorry." Bridgette stood up to give her friend a tight hug, and Gwen hugged back, smiling.

"Thank you," Gwen said, softly, as Courtney and Lindsay walked up to them.

"I thought Greta and Brooke hated each other?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"I think they made up," Courtney said, smiling.

"Yeah," Gwen said, letting go of Bridgette. "We're good."

"Anyway, Chris is ready for the next challenge," Courtney said flatly. "He didn't say much, but he said that he really needs Bridgette and Lindsay for this one."

"Lindsay and me?" Bridgette asked confused. "Why Lindsay and me? I mean, what do we really have in common, aside from hair color?"

"And hers isn't even natural," Gwen added, pointing to Lindsay. Lindsay blinked, confused.

"How did you know?" Lindsay asked. "Are my roots showing?"

"Actually, your eyebrows are kind of a giveaway."

"Oh," Lindsay said, then looked to Courtney. "What does Gabby mean?"

"I'll explain on the way back," Courtney said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I thought Bridgette was joking, when she said that Chris wanted her and Lindsay because they were both blondes. As it turned out though, that was **exactly** why Chris wanted them. I didn't get it, really.

* * *

"Where is Chris, anyway?" Gwen asked, but then noticed a rose slowly falling from the top of the cabins. "A rose?"

After the rose landed, Chris jumped down from the roof of the cabin, with some difficulty, dressed in a tuxedo and top hat, wearing a mask that covered only his eyes.

"Is this what I think it is?" Noah asked, looking up from his book.

"OK, so I'm not very good at throwing roses," Chris said, shrugging. "Campers, today's challenge is based on the classic foreign cartoon, _Sailor Moon."_

"Cartoon?" Noah asked. "I believe you mean animé."

"Aren't they the same thing?" Katie asked.

"Animé is from Japan. Cartoons aren't. Big difference."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (with her arms crossed) So not a big difference.

* * *

Chris continued speaking. "Regardless, Bridgette and Lindsay, you two are both blondes. Therefore, you will both be leading your teams as Serena, who is secretly Sailor Moon!"

"Who's Serena?" Lindsay asked. "I don't remember a Serena in _Sailor Moon._"

"There's a shocker," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"I mean, I remember Usagi was Sailor Moon in disguise, but who's Serena?" Lindsay asked, looking confused.

"Wait," Noah said, irritated. "You can remember Usagi, yet you can't even remember any of our names?!"

"I'm sorry, Nathan," Lindsay said sweetly. "I just used to be obsessed with that show."

"Really?" Noah asked, looking more interested. "You read subtitles? You can read, period?"

"Duh. Why does everyone think I'm so stupid, anyway?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Lindsay knows _Sailor Moon? _I really thought this was going to be a runaway victory for the Killer Chrises, too. Didn't see that coming.

* * *

"All right, campers," Chris said, trying to get their attention focused on him once more. "The challenge will have the boys of both teams facing the girls on the other team. The girls are the sailor scouts--"

"What's a sailor scout?" Lindsay asked, looking confused.

Noah slapped his face. "Knew that wouldn't last."

"I mean, I know there are sailor soldiers, or sailor senshi… I get confused by those. Are sailor scouts like Luna and Artemis? Or are they the girls who fight crime while selling those cookies?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Does this girl import everything? Has she never seen the dub before? How could this stupid girl possibly choose the sub over the dub? Is there actually a brain hidden somewhere in that thick skull of hers?

* * *

"I don't care!" Chris shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. "Call them sailor mouths if you want! The girls are the good guys, the boys are the monsters! When any of the four groups is defeated, the team of the group that performed the defeating wins, so be quick about it!"

"So who gets to be Usagi?" Lindsay asked, smiling brightly.

"Uh… I have no idea who that is, but Lindsay, since you're blonde and stupid, and Sailor Moon is blonde and stupid, you get to be Sailor Moon for the Screaming Pansies."

"Yay!" Lindsay cheered, jumping up and down while clapping, then stopped when it finally hit her. "Wait. Stupid?" Lindsay looked down, but started looking happier when another thought entered her head. "Wait, I can fix my hair to look like Usagi's!" Lindsay went off to the communal bathroom to start on her hair, as Chris continued, rolling his eyes.

"Wait!" Bridgette shouted. "Does that mean--"

"Yes it does, Bridgette. You get to be Sailor Moon on the Killer Chrises!"

"But I don't know anything about _Sailor Moon!_"

"And she's one of the most intelligent people here!" Courtney shouted, giving Chris a death glare.

"And not my problem!" Chris exclaimed, smirking. "Courtney, Leshawna, Izzy, Heather, before me, please," Chris said, pointing to a spot in front of him, then stood before Heather. "Heather, you're intelligent. An awful, miserable excuse for a human being, but intelligent."

"You would know," Heather retorted, rolling her eyes.

"Touché," Chris said. "Can't argue with that logic, and that's exactly why you'll be Sailor Mercury." Chris handed her a white and dark blue uniform.

"You expect me to play dress-up?" Heather asked indignantly.

"Yeah, we expect you to play dress-up, if you're not too good for it!" Leshawna shouted.

"Ah," Chris continued. "Leshawna. There you go with that temper of yours. Which is exactly why I've decreed you as Sailor Mars!" Chris handed Leshawna a white and red uniform.

"You're kiddin' me!" Leshawna shouted. "There ain't no way--"

"Whatever happened to team spirit, Leshawna?" Heather asked, with irritated stress on Leshawna's name.

"Fine!" Leshawna shouted back.

Chris stood before Izzy. "Izzy, you're certifiably insane."

"Have you been peeking at my medical records? Because I'm pretty sure that's illegal, since you aren't my doctor."

"It was a lucky guess," Chris said, annoyed. "Anyway, since you're a little nuts, you get to be Sailor Venus." Chris gave Izzy a white and orange uniform.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: I hate this stupid uniform! It reminds me of the days when I was a sailor. I was doing a good job too, swabbing the deck, peeling potatoes, getting chewed out, swabbing the deck, peeling potatoes, getting chewed out… and then they alerted the RCMP… I don't think they liked me, for some reason. (Izzy places her chin in her hands.)

* * *

"And let's see… Courtney," Chris said, walking up to her. "You have almost as much--heh--talent as Lindsay has, so you get to be the sailor scout most known for her talent, Sailor Jupiter." Noah and Cody started giggling.

"There you two go again!" Courtney shouted. "What's so funny about talent, anyway? I'm sure Lindsay would be more than happy to tell me if you two dweebs won't!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: We're screwed.

Noah: Thank God Lindsay never saw the dub.

Courtney: So, Lindsay said that Sailor Jupiter's talent is cooking. I'm pretty certain she missed some subtext somewhere, though.

* * *

Chris handed Courtney a green and white uniform, as well as a blue and white uniform. "Give the blue one to Lindsay." And with that, the four Pansy girls went into the communal washroom to suit up.

"Heather," Courtney said, "Do you think you could help Lindsay with her hair? I really have no idea what this Sailor… Moon was it? What her hair is supposed to look like."

"I've seen it before," Heather said, smiling. "I think I can help her with it." Leshawna was looking over toward them suspiciously.

Back at the cabins, Chris was ready to give the Killer Chrises their uniforms. "Bridgette! Beth! Sadie! Eva! Gwen! Pronto!" Chris shouted, pointing to the space in front of him.

"Um, Chris?" Gwen asked. "Aren't you forgetting someone?"

"No I'm not."

"Uh, me," Katie said, indignantly.

"I was really hoping they would forget," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "Fine. Get up here, Katie."

Katie walked up to Sadie, giving her a tight hug, and Sadie started squeeing, though quieted quickly when she noticed Katie wasn't joining in. The other Killer Chris girls looked shocked.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Maybe we were a little hard on Katie. She looked so down. Not the usual giddy carefree Katie we all know and love… or tolerate to varying degrees.

Sadie: Were you OK out there, Katie?  
Katie: Yeah… I'm sorry. It's just--did you know that our squeeing bothers other people?  
Sadie: (putting her hands to her mouth) No!  
Katie: Yeah. They find it irritating.  
Sadie: Oh yeah. I still don't get why, though. Don't they have close friends at home?  
Katie: Oh, I'm sure they do! But that's just it: back at home. Unlike you and me, their friends that they squee with are back at home, and I think they're a little jealous of our friendship.  
Sadie: Wow! You're so thoughtful, Katie!  
Katie: Well, Bridgette helped me.  
Sadie: I thought you hated Bridgette.  
Katie: That was days ago! I matured. She's a good person.  
Sadie: Maybe she'd like to squee with us.  
Katie: We should ask her sometime!  
Sadie: Can we do it now? Can we?  
Katie: We're alone in the confessional, so let's go for it!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

* * *

"Bridgette," Chris said, standing before her, "you're the blonde on the team, so you are Sailor Moon of course." Chris handed Bridgette a white and blue uniform, and then walked up to Katie and Sadie. "Katie and Sadie, Katie and Sadie." Chris started chuckling to himself, then started laughing more wildly. "Sadie, you're going to be Sailor Neptune, and Katie, since you're the meaner one, you get to be Sailor Uranus." Katie gave a low growl, but Noah and Cody started snickering.

"Um, what's funny?" Katie asked, not very happy, turning to Noah.

"Those two characters have a special relationship on the show," Noah started, as Chris ran up to him. "They're--"

"Best friends!" Chris finished, putting his hand over Noah's mouth. "They're really good, really close friends!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Seriously, I don't want another kick to the balls, dude. If I want to imply Katie and Sadie are lesbian cousins, I'd like to do so behind their backs, thank you very much.

Noah: Yeah, I don't really get how changing them from explicit lesbians in the sub to strongly-implied lesbian cousins in the dub was supposed to put the soccer moms' minds at ease there.

* * *

Katie eyed Chris suspiciously as he gave Katie a white and dark blue uniform, and Sadie a white and light green uniform. Chris then stood before Beth. "You're an annoying little wannabe, just like Chibiusa. As such, you shall be Chibiusa." Chris handed Beth a tiny white and pink uniform.

"That was so last season, Chris," Beth said, giving an angry glare.

"No, I don't think so." Chris walked up to Eva. "You're strong enough to destroy the planet. Maybe. I dunno'. You're Sailor Saturn, anyway." Chris gave Eva a white and purple uniform, then walked up to Gwen. "Gwen, you're creepy and mysterious and a loner. Therefore, Sailor Pluto." Chris handed Gwen a black and white uniform. "Now you six can go and change. We have a challenge, people! Move it! Move it!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: There was a Sailor Pluto? I mean, I saw the show a few times when I was a kid, but I don't even remember there being a Sailor Pluto. Is Pluto even a real planet anymore?

* * *

In the washroom, Heather had just put some final touches on Lindsay's hair, putting it into two balls on the top of her head, side by side, with a long pigtail flowing from each. "Perfect!" Heather exclaimed, showing Lindsay off in the mirror, taking out Lindsay's bandanna. "Do you want me to hold on to this?"

"Yes, thank you," Lindsay said, admiring herself in the mirror. "This looks great! I can do your hair too, Heather!"

"No thank you," Heather said, backing away. "Really, it's all right."

"Lindsay was just trying to be nice!" Leshawna shouted. "You don't have to yell at the poor girl!"

Heather blinked in confusion. "That was yelling?"

"Look," Courtney said. "Why don't we just let Heather keep her hair how it is? There is no reason for any of us to argue about it."

"Lindsay's fixing your hair, girl!" Leshawna shouted as she pulled Heather's hair, expecting Heather to be dragged… except she wound up taking Heather's wig off her head, leaving Heather bald. Leshawna was surprised to see what was in her hands, and then handed the wig back to Heather.

Lindsay looked like she was on the verge of crying when she saw Heather's bald head. "Your hair didn't grow back? I'm sorry… that was my fault, wasn't it?"

"It's OK, Lindsay," Heather said, both smiling and looking sick. "I kind of deserved it. It helped make me a better person." Leshawna audibly groaned.

"That does not leave this room," Courtney stated coldly, staring at Leshawna. "You **will **pay if this gets out."

"Why do you even care?" Leshawna shouted, annoyed. "Are you really sticking up for this low-life scum bucket?"

"No, I'm not," Courtney said, upset, but then turned a bit sweeter, and went to stand beside Heather, putting an arm around her. "I'm sticking up for a friend."

"We really should keep it a secret," Lindsay said, playing with a dangling bit of hair. "I mean, if we told everyone, we'd be as mean as Heather was."

"Is," Leshawna spat.

"Heather's been behaving so far, anyway," Izzy chimed in. "Shouldn't we at least wait for her to screw up again before we turn her stay here into a living hell? Besides, it's Heather. Do you really think it'll be long before she's back to kissing Trent's diary again? Or whatever she did last year?"

"Fine," Leshawna said, irritated, then got in Heather's face. "I'll just be waiting for you to screw up though, little girl, and when you do, I will be all over you like ugly on… well, you!" Leshawna shoved the wig back at Heather, and Heather fixed it back on her head.

Everyone was silent for a while after that, and just worried about changing their outfits. Izzy decided to try to lighten the mood and ease tensions.

"Say, did I ever tell you guys about the time I wrestled an alligator? I was like on the beach, relaxing after doing some espionage work, when all of a sudden, this alligator rushed out from the ocean, and ate my briefcase which had like all these important documents and stuff, so I followed it back into the ocean, and bam! Wham! Slam! It was a fight to the death, but the alligator looked at me with these sad eyes, so I decided to be nice and let her live." Izzy continued rambling on, and while she wasn't getting many responses, the others were laughing a bit.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Izzy surprised me. She's weird, but she was clearly trying to calm everyone down and have everyone get along. It's like her own way of reaching out.

* * *

The five Screaming Pansy girls had gotten into uniform, and were leaving the washroom just as the six Killer Chris girls were ready to go in.

"Hey, Bridgette," Courtney said. "Would you like Heather to help with your hair?"

"Not really," Bridgette said, a bit confused.

"She did Lindsay's hair, and I wouldn't know personally, but Lindsay thinks it looks just like this Sailor Moon person's hair." Courtney dragged Lindsay closer to Bridgette to give her a better view.

"Well… I guess," Bridgette said, not sounding thrilled.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Courtney's my friend, so if she said I should give Heather a chance… well, it was as good a time as any, I suppose.

* * *

"Oh yeah, and you need to see Zeke!" Izzy exclaimed, before merrily trotting off, circling the rest of the Pansy girls, minus Heather. Bridgette was left scratching her head as the seven girls went into the washroom.

"What is **she** doing here?!" Gwen shouted. "She's a plague on society!"

"Can I take care of her?" Eva asked, pounding her fist.

"Look, guys," Heather said, holding back tears, still fooling with Bridgette's hair. "I was evil. I was scum. I was disgusting." None of the Killer Chris girls looked like they cared. "Beth, I'm sorry. You were my friend, and I treated you like a worthless piece of--"

"You were never my friend," Beth stated flatly, facing the wall.

"Bridgette, I tried to turn you and Courtney against each other, and I started a stupid argument that wound up getting you voted off the island." Heather hugged Bridgette for a moment, and noticed Bridgette's irritated look was gone, though she still didn't look pleased exactly. "Eva, I'm sorry I stole your mp3 player and turned your team against you." Eva looked to be holding back a meltdown. "Katie and Sadie… I'm not sure why you two don't like me. Though I guess I can't blame you."

"Aww, we forgive you!" Sadie exclaimed, running up to hug Heather.

"Actually, **we **don't," Katie added nonchalantly, not budging from her spot.

"And Gwen," Heather started, before breaking down, crying profusely. "I did so much to you, and you didn't deserve any of that crap. I can't even remember everything I did to you, for no reason at all. Just because you were this weird goth girl--" Heather stopped herself, looking mortified, realizing what she just called Gwen, and noticed Gwen looking upset. "I didn't mean that as an insult! I mean that's what I thought of you. Didn't care that were you a nice person, or artistic, or intelligent… just that you were different. And it bothered me. It shouldn't have, but it did." Heather managed to pick herself back up and finish up on Bridgette's hair. "If I can do anything for you, Gwen--"

"You can leave," Gwen said coldly.

"Can she just finish with my hair?" Bridgette asked. "I think she's almost done."

"Done now," Heather said, trying to sound happy. "I thank you all for listening to me. And I know I can't say it enough, but I'm sorry." Heather gave a tight hug to Sadie and Bridgette before leaving to rejoin her team.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Well, Sadie forgave me. I was surprised Katie didn't, though, since they usually do everything together. I thought they shared a brain. I know, that sounds mean, but they're proving me wrong! I felt Bridgette wanted to forgive me as well, but wanted to be careful. It's a nice start. I knew I wouldn't win everyone over right away. Especially Gwen. I wish I knew what I could do for her, really.

* * *

"Aww," Sadie said, sniffling. "That was so sad."

"So fake," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"So right," Gwen said, slightly less unhappy than before. "How stupid does she think we are, anyway?"

"I don't know," Bridgette said. "I think she might be sincere."

"It's a trap!" Eva shouted, pounding her fist against the wall.

"Bridgette," Katie said, looking sincerely into Bridgette's eyes, "Heather is bad news. I can protect Sadie, but I want you to promise that you'll be careful."

"Guys, I'll be fine," Bridgette said, laughing a little. "She really did do my hair pretty nice. I like these weird meatballs things. Might be a good look for me." Bridgette laughed for a moment before continuing. "Maybe not, but it's nice if I'm supposed to become Sailor Moon, anyway."

"It does look pretty," Katie said. "I guess every thorn has its rose."

Eva and Gwen looked surprised by Katie's comment, and Eva spoke up. "That didn't sound like our usual bubble-brain."

"Yeah," Gwen added. "That was actually kind of deep."

"Well, she is the smart one!" Sadie exclaimed.

"Well, OK, but how did none of us notice last year?" Gwen asked, looking confused.

"I was just having fun with my best friend at summer camp," Katie said, smiling. "Why worry about academics during the summer? Just time to let loose and be silly!"

"I can't really argue with that," Gwen said, smiling.

"I mean, I'm no super genius," Katie said, trying to be modest. "That's like Noah and Courtney. They're super geniuses. I'm just absent-minded, nature-stupid, and get lost in my own hometown."

"It's true," Sadie said. "Once Katie got lost just walking over to my house right next door."

"I still don't know how I managed that," Katie added, knocking on her head.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: You know, Katie and Sadie's friendship is really sweet, at least when they're not doing that scream of theirs. They seem to be toning it down, though.

* * *

"Guy," Chris said to the boys, still waiting before Chris, "you get to be monsters!"

"Most of the monsters were female, actually," Noah said.

"Look. I don't really care. You're just playing ugly monsters!" Chef walks out, wearing a potato sack and a baseball cap with antennae. "You will all be wearing these lovely monster costumes!"

"That's a pretty lame costume," Noah pointed out.

"Look," Chris complained, "we only have so much money to spend on you guys. Our audience would rather see the little money that isn't spent on my lavish lifestyle spent on seeing teenage girls running around in short skirts, OK?"

"Can't argue with that logic," Duncan said, shrugging. "Bet Princess is going to look like a fine piece of ass. You guys can look, but don't touch unless you want to deal with me."

"Yeah!" Tyler exclaimed. "Anyone messes with Lindsay, and they'll have to mess with me!"

"How truly frightening," Noah said, his head stuck in his book.

"I bet Beth will look cute," Cody said, smiling. Duncan rolled his eyes.

"Yes," Chris said flatly. "I'm sure we'd all love to gawk at them in their sailor outfits, but you're going to need to capture them." Chris presents an array of identical water guns for the boys. "These guns are filled with mud. Simply shoot one of the girls with the mud guns, and that girl is out. If either team knocks out all the girls of the opposite team, that team wins, and is safe from elimination."

"Well Someone is pandering to the lowest common denominator," Noah stated.

"Hey, ratings are ratings," Chris said, shrugging. "And speaking of ratings, here they come now!"

Courtney, Lindsay, Leshawna, and Izzy all came forth, dressed in their sailor outfits, with Lindsay's hair in a couple of balls on the sides of the top of her head, with long strands coming forth from each.

"Wait," Harold said, realizing something was amiss. "Where's Heather?"

"She stayed back to fix Brooke's hair," Lindsay said, twirling with one of the long strands. "She did my hair, too. It's pretty, isn't it?"

"Oh, you bet, babe!" Tyler exclaimed, then ran over to her, and the two started making out on the ground.

"She's up to something," Leshawna said, "but at least if she's sabotaging the other team, we'll be safe."

"We're not all on your team," Duncan pointed out. "Some of us here would like to see you guys go down this time."

"Duncan!" Courtney shouted, "I'm not losing!"

"Nah," Duncan said, grinning. "I mean, I guess it's possible, but I just don't see it happening."

Courtney started screaming. "You are going **down!**"

"I'd like to see you try!"

Courtney ran over and lifted Duncan above her head, then pulled him close and started kissing him, and he started kissing back, and the two were all over each other.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: You know, I'm starting to get an idea why Courtney isn't so against inter-team dating anymore.

* * *

Heather had arrived back with her teammates, and stood beside Harold. "So, do you guys have any role in today's challenge?"

"We're going to be monsters," Harold said. "We're supposed to stop the girls on the other team by shooting them with mud."

"I don't suppose you'd want to shoot Leshawna?"

"Of course not! I love her!" Harold exclaimed. Heather looked disgusted. "Besides, you need all the help your squad can muster. If I shoot her, she'd be out of the challenge."

"She doesn't love you, you know," Heather said flatly. "Still, you make a good point. I'd rather we win the challenge than engage in petty revenge. At least for now."

Bridgette, Katie, Sadie, Eva, Beth, and Gwen had finally returned from getting dressed, all in their uniforms. Beth's was too small, though, and her underwear was clearly showing for all the world to see, and clearly not happy about it, but it was giving Cody a nosebleed.

"I'm sorry," Cody said. "Does anyone have a Kleenex?"

"Chris!" Beth shouted, "I could kill you!"

"Good! Venom! I like it!" Chris exclaimed. "Anyway, since everyone's here, we might as well start!"

"Isn't this a little unfair?" Noah stated. "Our team only has three guys."

"I thought about that," Chris said. "I decided not to care. Go venture out into the woods, and remember not to get shot: if the girls shoot all of the members on your team, then your team has to vote off one of its own. So go already!"The three guys on the Killer Chrises walked off in one direction, while the six guys on the Screaming Pansies walked off in another. Then Chris addressed the girls.

"In thirty minutes, you shall venture forth and rid the city of all the evil that resides!"

"City?" Courtney scoffed. "It's a forest!"

"Well, it's kinda' like a city," Lindsay said cheerfully. "All the little animals have their own little animal homes and animal friends and enemies, and live their animal lives there!"

"That was really nice, Lindsay," Bridgette said. "I like that thought."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Wow! I actually had a thought, and Brooke was impressed! Take that all you people who say I'm dumb!

* * *

"I hope her team likes her thoughts too," Chris said, "because Lindsay will be leading the Screaming Pansies, and they'll have to do everything Lindsay says."

"Yay!" Lindsay exclaimed. "I can do this!"

"And I can help!" Courtney added cheerfully.

"No you can't," Chris said, irritated. "You're her lackey. You can only do as Sailor Moon orders! That goes for you guys, too: you have to do whatever Bridgette says, and only what Bridgette says."

"I'm not usually a leader, though," Bridgette said shyly.

"Why not?" Sadie asked. "You're smart! You can do it!"

"She's right," Eva said, putting a hand on Bridgette's shoulder. "You are tough. I mean, you're not physically intimidating, but you can handle yourself."

"Thanks guys," Bridgette said, smiling, and goes over to hug the girls on her team. The girls on the other team weren't as happy, though.

"This isn't good," Izzy said, pacing back and forth. "Lindsay can't lead! She's just not very leader-y. Of course, I'm not really a good leader, either. Everyone's always afraid of following me, for some reason. Probably because I led them into quicksand before, and I waited for the last minute before rescuing them, to make it more dramatic… they weren't too happy after that. You'd think they'd have been a little more grateful since I saved their lives, but some people just don't have any manners, I swear. They didn't appreciate the building up of the suspense for some reason."

"I really don't know," Leshawna said, looking at Lindsay's blank expression. "I don't think we have much hope."

"Neither do I," Chris said. "Wouldn't it be so awesome to see you guys crash and burn, though! And drenched in mud!" Heather shot Chris with the mud in her gun, and then realized--

"Wait," Leshawna said. "That's not mud. That's… puke?"

"Yes!" Chris shouted angrily. "I wanted it to be a surprise, but you just had to go and ruin it! And ruin my tux!"

"Lindsay," Heather said, putting her hand on Lindsay's shoulder, "you can do this. I doubted you with the monster truck, and you proved me wrong, and I know you can do it again! You can lead us to victory!"

Lindsay smiled brightly. "You really mean it?"

Courtney put her hand on Lindsay's other shoulder. "We mean it. You have some untapped potential. You just need to release your inner managerial being and show those guys who's boss! And that is going to be you!"

"Thanks guys!" Lindsay said, hugging Courtney and Heather. Leshawna and Izzy looked worried.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: We're screwed. And not the fun kind of screwed, either. We're bad screwed.

* * *

"So," Chris started, looking into the camera, "will the Killer Chrises finally win one? Will their teamwork and cooperation save them from elimination? Or will the Screaming Pansies, against all odds, pull their act together, and Lindsay actually manage to use her brain for a change of pa**blech!**" Chris was shot with more puke, with Courtney having a suspiciously innocent look on her face. "Stay tuned for all of this, plus the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on _Total Drama_--"

"Lindsay!" Courtney shouted, pulling Lindsay in front of the camera, who started shyly waving.

"Come on," Chris whined. "There's no way you forgot the name of the show! And get that idiot off the camera!"


	6. Day 3, Part 2: Freeze Frame Up

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 6: Day 3: Part 2: Freeze Frame-Up**

The eleven girls were still standing around in their sailor uniforms, as Chris walked toward them, back in his regular clothes, all cleaned up. "Welcome back to _Total Drama Chris!"_

"Weren't you wearing a tuxedo?" Lindsay asked.

"No, I wasn't," Chris said, annoyed. "I've just been waiting patiently here for the guys' thirty-minute head start to finish, at which point you girls need to head out into the city and capture the rampaging monsters. Shoot them, and they're out, and are harmless to you. They shoot you, and you're out, and cannot shoot at any more monsters."

"You said that already," Gwen said, irritated.

"What can I say? It helps Lindsay when I repeat these things." Lindsay shot Chris a glare, which he ignored. "And the thirty minutes are up, so venture forth and save the city!"

The Screaming Pansy girls followed Lindsay into the woods, while Bridgette and the other Killer Chris girls hadn't yet moved.

Gwen spoke up. "Shouldn't we be--"

"Nah-ah-ah," Chris said smugly, waving a finger. "You don't get to tell Sailor Moon what to do."

"Don't worry, Gwen," Bridgette said, with a smile on her face. "We'll be going into the woods soon, but first, do any of you guys have any food?"

"We smuggled in some jellybeans!" Sadie exclaimed. "Sometimes, we really need candy."

"Sometimes, we all need candy," Katie added. "Do you need them, Bridgette?"

"What did I say about bossing Sailor Moon around?" Chris said, annoyed.

"But I wasn't--"

"Sailor Moon orders Chris to butt out," Bridgette barked at Chris. Chris looked taken aback, shocked.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: You know, it's too bad Chris didn't have to obey Bridgette's orders.  
Sadie: I know, he was totally annoying.  
Katie: Yeah, I was just asking if Bridgette needed the jellybeans. I wasn't even allowed to do that?  
Sadie: Chris just likes being mean to everyone.  
Katie: Such a killjoy.

* * *

"Katie and Sadie, we can really use your jellybeans," Bridgette asked, smiling. "I think I know how we can win this."

"OK," Sadie said, looking a bit saddened, headed into her cabin.

"It'll be OK, Sadie," Katie chimed. "If we win $1 million, we can buy lots and lots of jellybeans!"

"Don't worry," Bridgette said, still smiling brightly. "We're going to win this one."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Bridgette's like so smart!  
Sadie: I guess.  
Katie: Sadie, we can always get more jellybeans.  
Sadie: I know.  
Katie: They're the key to victory!  
Sadie: Yeah…  
Katie: Sadie, you know everyone's been itching to kick me off, so we need to win!  
Sadie: I never liked jellybeans!

* * *

Out in the woods, Lindsay was leading the Screaming Pansy girls. Lindsay was beaming, and Leshawna and Izzy were looking frustrated.

"OK, girls!" Lindsay shouted. "Sailor Moon orders you to speak your minds and lead this team to victory!"

"Wait," Courtney said, a bit confused. "You can do that?"

"Of course," Lindsay said, smiling. "I'm Sailor Moon, and you guys have to do whatever I say!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (slapping his face) I hate loopholes.

* * *

"I knew you could do this," Courtney said, smiling.

"I still don't know," Leshawna added. "I mean, it's still Lindsay."

"And I may be crazy," Izzy said, "but even I wouldn't follow Lindsay into a vat of quicksand. Then again, I wouldn't really follow many people into a vat of quicksand, so that may not be the best analogy."

Lindsay was looking distressed. Courtney went over to comfort Lindsay, but Heather was getting angry. "What is wrong with you two?! That attitude is not helping us win! There is no reason to doubt her! Show our leader some respect, people!"

Leshawna was getting angry. "Respect?! Like when you told Lindsay you weren't her friend after the bike race when she built your bike for you? That kind of respect?!"

"Leshawna!" Lindsay screamed. "Sailor Moon orders you to stop that!" Leshawna was confused and scared of Lindsay at that moment, and backed down. Lindsay then went to hug Heather.

"Thank you," Lindsay spoke softly. "Thank you for believing in me."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Lindsay was falling into Heather's trap again. That was hard to watch, though mostly because the sun was in my eyes. Leshawna's "yell at everyone until they shut up and agree" method didn't seem to be helping us either, though. She really does have some anger issues. I think no one cared last year since she just let it all out on Heather, though. Hard to argue with that, though.

* * *

"Sailor Venus! Sailor Mars!" Lindsay ordered, though looked a bit confused when the other four girls just started looking at each other.

"I think I'm Sailor Mercury," Heather said, looking at her skirt color. "Lindsay, you might want to use our real names."

"If she can remember them," Leshawna said, irritated.

Lindsay heard the comment, making her nervous, hoping really badly that she could get their names right. "I--Izzy? Le--Lafawnda?"

"Hey, you got my name right!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming. "You remembered it!"

"Really? Yay!" Lindsay exclaimed, proud of herself.

"And my name wrong," Leshawna added.

"Give her a break!" Heather shouted. "She's trying!"

"Please don't fight again," Lindsay pleaded. "Don't sink to her level, Heather."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: What?! **What?! **Heather sink to **my **level?! I'm way above her level, and that blonde bimbo has the nerve to tell Heather not to sink to **my **level, as if it was lower than Heather's?!

* * *

Leshawna was steaming, which, oddly, prompted Izzy to play Leshawna's head like a drum. "Izzy, stop that," Leshawna asked, though Izzy just continued playing.

"Anyway," Lindsay started, "I want you two to scout ahead, and warn of enemies approaching. Izzy, can you make any bird calls?"

"Oh, sure!" Izzy exclaimed. "Penguin calls are my favorite, because they walk funny and can't fly, so you can make fun of them without much fear of retaliation, unless you're in the water, since they're good swimmers… yeah, you should never make fun of a penguin unless you're on dry land, believe me, I know. Or maybe a tree. On second thought, though, maybe I should do a swallow."

"African or European?" Heather asked, smiling at Izzy, who looked shocked by the comment, before smiling.

"Nerd!" Izzy exclaimed, pointing at Heather, looking a bit unsure, but then returned to smiling back at Izzy, who smiled back and glomped Heather, which pushed both to the ground.

"Are you insane?!" Leshawna shouted, then put more thought into her question. "OK, that was a stupid question."

"Could you please not do that again?" Heather asked politely, picking herself off the ground. Izzy looked confused.

"Whatever happened to yelling at me, or yelling at Lindsay, or swearing revenge, or hitting Lindsay? You really have changed, haven't you?" Izzy went back up to give Heather a lighter hug.

"Not you too, Izzy," Leshawna said, concerned. "Don't you have like an I.Q. of 180? You should know better."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Wow, I actually glomped Heather, didn't I? I feel like I need to clean myself now. (Izzy starts licking her leg, then looks to the camera.) What? Cats do this.

* * *

Izzy and Leshawna walked out ahead, and Lindsay, Heather, and Courtney followed not too far behind.

"Heather," Lindsay said, "I'm sorry I didn't forgive you before. And I'm sorry about your hair."

"Thank you," Heather said, smiling back. "Who could've guessed the hair thing would be so permanent?"

"Seriously," Courtney said, "if Leshawna says **anything **about your wig to anyone, she's dead."

"I really need to listen to my gut," Lindsay said, smiling to her friends. "I was ignoring it last year. Deep down, there was like a little voice thing telling me to stay away from you, Heather. My brain said you were my friend, though. My brain really is stupid, though." Lindsay started to look down. Courtney and Heather looked to each other, not sure what to say, until Heather finally spoke up.

"You've got other great qualities, though," Heather said, lifting Lindsay's head. "You're really sweet, and you're insightful."

"Thanks," Lindsay smiled. "My brain was telling me to stay away from you this time, but the little voice inside me says you've changed, Heather. It's time I listened to that little voice."

"So," Courtney started, "what's the plan to stop the boy… err, 'monsters,' anyway?"

"Simple, Courtney," Lindsay said, smiling brightly. "Izzy and Leshawna are going to signal when they spot one of the monsters, and then we bring out our bait."

"You just got my name right," Courtney said, with a big smile on her face.

"I did? I did!" Lindsay exclaimed, jumping up and down for a moment. "Naru, can you come here for a moment?" Lindsay asked, taking out a blue-green bow.

"Am I Naru?" Courtney asked, confused.

"Wait, Naru," Heather said, looking nervous. "Wasn't she like monster-bait girl?"

"Yes," Lindsay said, and started to put the bow on Heather's head. "We need you to play that part here."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: You know, I think Lindsay still wants a little bit of revenge on me here.

* * *

On the other side of the woods, Owen was walking aimlessly, and his stomach was growling. "I knew I shouldn't have skipped second lunch." Owen saw some creatures up ahead, though, and thought it might be food, but a closer look showed them to be the Killer Chris girls. "Holy cocktail shrimp! I can take them all out now!" Owen shouted, loudly enough for the Killer Chris girls to hear him.

"All right," Bridgette said, looking excitedly at Owen. "Now, Gwen!"

Gwen started walking over to Owen, without her gun, waving a white flag. Owen had his gun ready, just in case.

"Owen," Gwen said, "I'm here to make you a peace offering."

"I'm not falling for it!" Owen shouted, still with his gun pointed at Gwen.

"We have jellybeans," Gwen said, smiling, pulling out a large bag of jellybeans that Owen was looking at longingly.

"Ooh, pretty," Owen said. "Can I have some before shooting you?"

"Oh, you can have some," Gwen said, smirking. "But we need you to do us a favor."

"Anything!" Owen shouted. "Anything for those beautiful babies!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Bridgette is an evil genius, let me tell you!

Owen: (Looks ashamed, and tries ducking down below the camera.)

* * *

Heather's legs were tied together, as were her hands behind her back, with a loose gag over her mouth, and a blue-green bow atop her wig. "I don't think the gag really works," Heather said, looking worried.

"That's not important," Courtney said. "You just need to look the part."

"Right!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling. "I'm not going to let you get puked on, so don't worry! I know I'd hate getting that stuff on me."

They then heard Izzy doing bird calls. A lot of different bird calls.

"I hope the boys don't get suspicious of that… randomness," Courtney complained. "Can't Izzy stick with one bird?"

"She's Izzy," Heather said. "Did you really expect anything else?"

"True," Courtney said, still not looking too happy.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Courtney?" Lindsay asked, looking a bit worried.

"I'm sure," Courtney said, smiling. "How many times have I yelled at people last year for not stepping up, and failed to do so myself? I can do this!"

"OK," Lindsay said, smiling, as the two of them quietly hid behind a nearby bush, as the two could see Justin approaching Heather.

"My, my, a present!" Justin said, walking over toward Heather, starting to ready his gun. "It's too bad I have to do this, 'cause you are smokin' on the outside. I'm still a bit sore about how you voted me off last season, though, so I'm just going to enjoy this extra."

Just as Justin was about to shoot, Courtney leapt in front of Heather, which got Courtney covered in puke from Justin's gun, but also threw Justin off-guard enough for Lindsay to shoot him, putting Justin in a semi-comatose state.

"What is this?!" Justin shrieked. "Puke?! Oh my God… oh my God! This is not good for my skin, not at all!" As Justin kept complaining, Courtney, Leshawna, and Izzy started tying him up, and putting duct tape over his mouth.

"That actually worked," Leshawna said, impressed. "But Courtney's still out now."

"So I can't shoot anyone," Courtney said, shrugging. "I don't need to. Chris didn't say I couldn't help out still. And he did say I need to follow Lindsay's every order. Though when this is over, I seriously am going to need a shower."

"Is it OK if I don't hug you right now?" Lindsay asked sweetly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: I thought not helping out was implied. I really need to write out the rules for these challenges in more detail. I really don't like all these loopholes they're finding.

* * *

Owen was walking through the woods, with Bridgette and the other Killer Chris girls a safe distance behind, when Owen came across Cody.

"Hey, Owen," Cody said. "Find any of the sailor scouts?"

"Yeah," Owen answered nervously, then shot at Cody.

"Hey, what was that for?! We're on the same team!" Cody said as the Killer Chris girls came walking toward him.

"Owen's defected to our side," Bridgette said, smiling, as the girls started tying him up and putting duct tape over his mouth. "That was a good job, Owen. Here're some more jellybeans." Bridgette pulled out a handful of jellybeans and tossed them to Owen, who caught them in his mouth.

"These are so good! Can I have more please?"

"Not yet, big guy," Bridgette said, smiling. "We have more work for you to do."

Owen was walking off, with the Killer Chris girls following him, though Beth paused for a second, looking back at Cody.

"I'm sorry, Cody, but we really need to win." Beth then ran after her other teammates.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Beth: I felt so bad for Cody back there. It kind of felt wrong to bribe Owen into taking down his own team, but the rest of the girls seemed to like the idea.

Eva: When we win, I hope they keep Courtney around. I have some unfinished business with her. (Eva pounds her fist into her other palm.)

* * *

Tyler, Trent, and Ezekiel were walking through the forest together, all with their eyes peeled.

"We're so gonna' rule this!" Tyler shouted, waving his hands in the air.

"Shouldn't we be a little more quiet, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Oh, yeah," Tyler said, then whispered. "We're so gonna' rule this!"

"Tyler's just excited, 'cause we're gonna' win!" Trent exclaimed. Ezekiel pulled his tuque over his eyes.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: I really kind of hope we lose. I mean, I'd hate it if we won, and Gwen was voted off because of me. I couldn't live with myself.

Ezekiel: It's almost like they want us to lose. I'm soore the girls really want to kick me oot of here if we lose, too.

* * *

"Hey, here comes Owen!" Tyler exclaimed. "Owen! Take out any of the girls?"

Owen quickly shot Tyler out with the puke gun, then Ezekiel, then Trent. "This isn't mud!" Tyler shouted. "This is horrible!"

"Hey!" Owen said with glee. "I think that was the bubble gum I accidentally swallowed last year!" Owen nonchalantly picked out some gum from the vomit on Tyler and stuck it back into his mouth. "A little stale, but not bad."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

(Tyler's back is to the camera, and he's puking into the toilet, then stops and looks into the camera, embarrassed.)

* * *

"We're on your team!" Tyler shouted. "What was that about?!" At that moment, he saw the Killer Chris girls walk up.

"Good job, Owen!" Trent exclaimed, smiling, then looking nervous when Tyler and Ezekiel shot him a look.

"I'd say he did a good job, too," Bridgette said, as she and her teammates were walking up to the three boys covered in puke. "Here you go, Owen!" Bridgette then tossed Owen more jellybeans, which he promptly gobbled as they fell to the ground, and then she went up to Ezekiel and smiled. "I'll talk to you later, OK?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: (sweating) Bridgette's kinda' pretty when she's being a good leader. Kinda' mean, turning Owen ageenst oos like that, boot still, pretty.

* * *

Duncan was finishing a couple of little stick figures strangling each other on a tree, with a C under one and a G under the other, when he decided to find another tree to mark. As he went looking, though, he saw Heather, tied up and gagged.

"Too easy," Duncan said, smirking, readying his gun. Duncan rushed out, gun ablaze, as Courtney, still covered in puke, once again leapt before Duncan, taking the shots, then pouncing down on him.

"Whoa!" Duncan exclaimed, then smirked. "I like this. Making you hot, Princess?"

"Shut it, Duncan," Courtney said, rolling her eyes, then started making out with him on the ground right there, when it hit Duncan.

"Why are you covered in puke?" Duncan asked, as he was suddenly soaked by Lindsay, Leshawna, and Izzy. "What the--this is disgusting! Wait, weren't you out, Princess? Weren't you already soaked?"

"Loophole," Courtney said smugly, as she started tying Duncan up, and putting duct tape over his mouth, as she started smiling deviously. "Wouldn't want you going and warning Noah, now would we?"

"Why would I warn him?" Duncan asked indignantly. "I don't really like him."

"Because," Heather stated, "when we take him out, your team loses."

"Wait, aren't you gagged?" Duncan asked.

"It's just for show, really."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Duncan: Who knew?

* * *

"Where can Harold be hiding?" Bridgette asked her teammates, as well as Owen. Not that she was expecting an answer from Owen.

"Are we allowed to answer?" Katie asked, looking confused.

"Yeah," Sadie answered. "Chris was kinda' confusing about that."

"Well," Bridgette started, "Sailor Moon says you need to help out Sailor Moon. Please."

Beth smiled. "I guess we have to help if you say we have to."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Seriously, that was just poor planning. It's Chef's fault, for the record.

* * *

"Harold is in a tree," Katie said, smiling brightly.

"Wow, that's incredible!" Sadie exclaimed, clearly holding back her usual squeeing.

"Wait," Bridgette said, looking confused. "Why would Harold be in a tree?"

Katie started talking very quickly. "Well, it's Harold's mindset, that he's going to use the terrain to his advantage, and try to snipe us out from afar, from someplace that we can't get to him, so he's going to be up in a tree, where he'll be safe as long as no one else can climb up after him to get to him." Everyone else blinked.

"Sounds good to me," Gwen said, shrugging.

"But how are we going to know which tree he's in?" Bridgette asked. "Oh yeah, and please, if you have any ideas, tell me!"

"I can climb up!" Katie beamed.

"Good," Bridgette said. "Eva, you can climb up, right?"

"Yes," Eva said flatly.

"Can you climb up carrying someone?"

"Yes," Eva answered, sounding a bit more interested.

"I know how we're going to do this! Oh yeah, and Owen?"

"Yeah?" Owen asked, before being shot by Bridgette's puke gun. Bridgette then threw him the bag of jellybeans.

"You've earned them," Bridgette said, smiling.

"Thanks," Owen said, putting the entire bag, plastic and all, into his mouth. "Mmm, red."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Owen: I really hope Harold can beat them. My teammates might not like that I kinda' sold out our team for jellybeans. I mean, I was hungry! Maybe they'd understand, oh, I hope?

* * *

"Where's Noah?" Lindsay asked. "We've searched everywhere, and he doesn't seem to be anywhere." Lindsay was walking with the other four Pansy girls, with Heather now untied, though still with the bow in her hair.

"Something's not right here," Leshawna said, irritated.

"He probably went back to camp," Heather stated.

"Wait, what?!" Courtney shouted. "But he can't do that! That's cheating!"

"Or bending the rules, like we've been doing this whole contest," Heather said. "He's probably reading back in his cabin, both relaxing and figuring we'd never find him there."

"Or maybe he's up a tree!" Izzy exclaimed. "I know that's where I'd hide, and live among the birds, learning how to fly, then crashing to the ground when I realized, duh, I don't have wings, and I can't fly. At least not without more practice."

Courtney looked confused. "Was that hypothetical, or did you really--"

"Not important," Izzy said, putting up her hand.

"Noah isn't going to climb a tree," Heather stated. "He couldn't climb a tree if his very life depended on it. He's back at the cabin. I just know it!"

"I think Heather's right," Lindsay said. "I mean, he is kinda' lazy, and he probably thinks I'm too stupid to find him there, but I… I didn't think to find him there, did I?" Lindsay started to look down again.

"You're doing well, though," Courtney said, putting her hand on Lindsay's shoulder. "You came up with the plan that put Justin and Duncan out of commission. It's OK if you can't fathom every possible angle."

"Thanks," Lindsay said, smiling. "I think. I don't think I got all of that, but I'm pretty sure it was nice."

Meanwhile, Katie was racing through the trees with incredible athleticism.

"Wow," Eva said, with a hint of amazement. "Never would've guessed."

"Oh, I knew Katie could do that!" Sadie exclaimed. "Katie's in great shape, and great in gym class, and she used to help me climb trees when we were little! She could probably outrun you, Eva!"

"I doubt that," Eva said with a slight smirk.

"I found him! I found him!" Katie shouted, above from where anyone could see her. "It's this tree! Oh, and he shot me before I saw him, though. Sorry, guys."

Harold was soon shooting down toward the ground, though up above, Katie was distracting him enough so that he couldn't get a clear shot.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: Seriously, how did Katie expect me to snipe when she kept hanging on to my back, throwing off my balance? I mean, I shot her! She shouldn't have been allowed to do that! Gosh! And puke? I thought Chris said there was mud in these guns!

Chris: (with his hand over his face) Next time, I'll have my lawyer write up the rules. These loopholes are really embarrassing.

* * *

Back at the cabins, Lindsay kicked in the door to Noah's room, with her teammates behind her.

"You didn't really need to kick in the door," Courtney said.

"It made for a good entrance, though," Izzy said. "I mean, entering doors the normal way is just so normal, and it's so much more dramatic to kick them in. When was the last time you really--"

Izzy was then hit with puke, from Noah, across the room.

"What?" Noah said, sarcastically. "Was I supposed to wait for you all to finish blabbering before I shot?"

"Yes," Lindsay said. "All the villains Sailor Moon ever fought--"

Before Lindsay could finish, Noah shot Lindsay with puke as well. "You guys don't learn. Tsk, tsk." Noah took a shot at Leshawna when he noticed her about to shoot. "Trying to take me down when I'm monologuing now? For shame. Like I didn't see that one coming. And… Courtney, someone got to you already?"

"Sacrifice for the team," Courtney said. "Giving is a sign of pure unselfishness."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: You know, I could swear Courtney sounds just like Mina sometimes.

* * *

"Regardless, now we've won! The Killer Chrises have won! All four of you are down! All--wait." Noah looked around the room nervously. "Someone's--where's Heather?" Noah started panicking, looking all around the room, as the four girls started chasing him around. "You guys aren't allowed to shoot me!"

"No," Lindsay said. "Chris never said we couldn't take the gun, though."

"I'd like to see you try!" Noah shouted, hanging on to his gun as tight as he could, though Courtney ripped it from his tight grip with ease.

"No," Courtney said, with a sinister smirk. "I don't think so."

"That's--that's cheating!" Noah shrieked in a high tone.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Don't remind me! **Urgh!**

* * *

"Heather, you're on!" Lindsay exclaimed, at which point Heather walked calmly into the cabin, as Courtney was holding onto Noah so he couldn't escape.

"Come on! Be reasonable! That's not mud in these things!"

"Really," Courtney said, nonchalantly. "We didn't notice."

Noah looked a little startled for a moment.

Heather smiled at Lindsay. "Ready, Sailor Moon?"

Lindsay smiled back. "Ready Naru! Fire!"

"Wouldn't Naru slash Molly rather try to reform the enemy, instead of shoot him?" Noah pleaded, but was met with deaf ears, as Heather shot right at him. Courtney then let him go as he walked off, in a state of shock, over to the communal washrooms.

"We won!" Leshawna exclaimed. "And we really need to wash up. If we hurry, we can beat Noah there, right?"

"Well Heather," Lindsay said, smiling brightly, "I kept my promise. You're still clean. I'd hug you, but I don't want--"

Heather went over to give Lindsay a big hug, and Lindsay hugged back. "I'll just wash up, too."

* * *

At around the same time, Katie was still holding Harold in place up in the tree, as Eva was climbing up the tree, carrying Bridgette.

"Are you mad?!" Harold shouted. "You lost! You need to go back to camp!"

"Uh, no," Katie said, irritated. "Chris never said that."

"Eva!" Bridgette shouted, "toss me up!"

With all her might, Eva through Bridgette up toward Harold, where she managed to get a perfect shot on him, while Harold couldn't fire back at her thanks to Katie's meddling. Eva caught Bridgette on the way down, then leapt down back to the ground, with Katie climbing back down after them.

"We won!" Bridgette exclaimed, with the six girls cheering. "I guess we should untie the guys now?"

Gwen shrugged. "I'm pretty sure the interns do that."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: The interns don't! Stupid ass punk kids….

* * *

The five Screaming Pansy girls had just gotten out of the washroom, with Noah sneaking in right after, as the six Killer Chris girls just got back, with Chris looking oddly excited.

"This was close," Chris said. "This was a really close one. Both of you have completely annihilated your enemy, but one of you was slightly faster. Fortunately, we have video, and we can show you the action on both teams simultaneously!" Chris held out a small DVD player with screen, as he showed side-by-side images of Katie holding Harold on the left side of the screen, and Courtney holding Noah on the right. "Now, to watch this frame by frame." Chris advanced the video one frame at a time, and the screen soon showed Bridgette popping out from below on the left, and Heather walking toward Noah on the right. Bridgette could be seen firing first, but Heather's closer range wound up hitting Noah one frame sooner than Bridgette's shot made it, and Bridgette looked really down upon noticing. "And, much to my dismay, the Screaming Pansies have won again."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: I could have sworn I asked Chef to edit the video before I showed it to them. Come on, just advance the left side a few frames… was it that hard?

Chef: Could've done it if Chris didn't make me untie these ungrateful brats like I didn't ask to!

* * *

"Lindsay, you did it!" Heather exclaimed. "You really did it!" Heather and the other Pansy girls threw Lindsay up in the air, and caught her on the way back down.

"Thanks, guys!" Lindsay said, smiling brightly. "I couldn't have done it without you guys, though. Thanks for believing in me!"

"At least some of us did," Courtney said, glaring at Leshawna and Izzy. Izzy shrugged.

"I was wrong. Even mad geniuses can make a mistake every now and then, right?"

Leshawna looked embarrassed. "Yeah, I was wrong. You really had it goin' on, girl," Leshawna said, giving Lindsay a light punch in the arm, before walking over to the other team. "I'm sorry you guys lost, though. Can't all win."

"Yeah," Gwen said, with a slight smile. "Bridgette was a great leader, though, and even had a great plan, and almost won it for us."

"She's tougher than she looks," Eva added, also smiling slightly. "I have to respect her."

Katie looked as if she were about to cry. Sadie was trying to comfort her, and Bridgette walked up and put an arm around her. "No one's voting you off tonight, OK Katie?" Bridgette said, smiling. "You did a great job, and you've haven't been bothering people."

"Thanks, Bridgette," Katie said softly, hugging her. Soon after, Sadie joined in.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: Tonight's the night I finally remove that thorn from my side.

Eva: Duncan, you're out.

Katie: This was hard tonight.  
Sadie: I know. I mean, we like everyone here, don't we?  
Katie: We don't like Heather… or I don't like Heather.  
Sadie: But she's on the other team, anyway.  
Katie: And we don't like Courtney either.  
Sadie: It was an accident! I apologized!  
Katie: Don't worry, Katie. The whole world saw. They know what happened.

Chris: The whole world has also deemed you two the least popular and most useless people on the island last season. But hey, what do six billion people know?

* * *

Once again, the nine remaining Killer Chris members, now cleaned up and in their regular clothing, were sitting on tree stumps before a campfire. And Chris was holding a plate with eighth marshmallows.

"Campers. Your team has been pretty pathetic so far. You're getting your asses kicked by a bunch of Pansies!"

"It was a fraction of a second," Gwen muttered. "Not exactly a runaway victory."

"Doesn't matter. Your team is still a bunch of losers, and for that, one of you must pay the ultimate price: complete elimination! The one of you who does not get a marshmallow must walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back! **Ever!**"

"Just like I didn't come back last season," Eva said, annoyed.

"Hush. When I call out your name, come up to collect your marshmallow."

"Justin."

"Bridgette."

"Gwen."

"Noah."

"Katie and Sadie."

"Eva."

Beth and Duncan looked at each other nervously. Chris looked to them. "Only one of you two is safe. If you're the one without a marshmallow, then it's Dock of Shame time for you."

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Beth."

"Come on, man!" Duncan shouted. "There's no way I could've lost!"

"Sorry, but you did," Chris said, not looking happy.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Seriously. Did they really need to vote off the fan favorite? That'll piss off the fans.

* * *

Duncan boarded the Boat of Losers with a scowl on his face, and threw a rock at Chris' head before leaving. The other campers laughed at Chris' pain. Bridgette looked worried and walked off, before Chris stood mugging for the camera.

"Well, there go our ratings. Seriously, do these guys not care about the ratings? Why kick off the most popular camper? As it stands, though, my random prediction last time, unfortunately, was correct. Duncan will be joining up with Geoff and DJ, at least, but what happens now? Will Courtney be able to remain calm when she finds out that Duncan's been booted? My guess is no. Will they **ever **kick Katie and Sadie off? Seriously, they're pissing me off. Find out these answers and more--or probably less--next time on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

"This sucks!" Duncan shouted in the Playa' des Losers. "Third one voted off! How could they vote me off? Do you guys know who did it?"

"I'm not sure," Geoff said, "but we're pretty sure Eva has a beef with you."

"Eva has a beef with everyone," Duncan said, irritated.

"She's actually been getting along with Bridge," Geoff said, too happily for Duncan's liking.

DJ piped up. "Courtney's still there, and she can still win this."

Duncan shrugged. "Guess I'll just have to root for her and Gwen from here."

"Gwen?" Geoff and DJ asked in unison.

* * *

Later that night, Beth was sitting on the side of the Dock of Shame, looking sad, as Cody passed by and noticed, and went to sit beside her.

"Hey Beth. What are you doing out here alone?"

"I'm waiting for Justin," Beth said, smiling. "He told me he'd meet me here tonight, but I think he forgot. Or maybe he just takes a long time to get ready."

"Are you sure he's coming?"

"He'll come! I'm sure Justin will be here any minute now."

"Oh," Cody said, looking down. "I can leave if you like."

"No, you can stay," Beth said sweetly. "I was getting lonely waiting. I could use the company."

"Thanks. How's life on the farm, anyway?"

Not too far away, Lindsay was walking alongside Heather, as the two were talking.

"Harold's kind of lonely," Heather said. "He says he likes being alone, but I think it bothers him."

"I don't know," Lindsay said, putting her finger on her chin. "Wasn't Harry the guy who kicked off Courtney last year?"

"He did. I still don't really know why, though." Heather looked up at the stars while continuing to talk. "Lindsay, I'm glad we're friends again. This time, for realsies." The two girls gave each other a tight hug, before Heather walked off. "Goodnight, Lindsay. I need my beauty sleep. We both do."

"I'll be coming soon," Lindsay said, waving to her friend, though shortly after, Lindsay was called out from behind as she saw her friend headed back.

"Lindsay, it's me! Tyler!"

"Tyler!" Lindsay exclaimed, as she ran up to hug the man dressed in the red jumpsuit… though it wasn't Tyler. It was Justin.

"Tyler, I've been missing you today! I'm glad to see you!"

"So," Justin said, "wanna' make out?"

"Not right now," Lindsay said, excitedly. "First, I wanted to tell you that Heather and I made up!"

"Wonderful," Justin said, rolling his eyes.

"I know you think I should be careful, but really, she's changed. I know she has. You have to trust me on this, Taylor."

"That's nice. Can we get on with the making out now?"

"Really, it's so nice to be able to talk to her again." Lindsay was hugging Justin gently, looking into his eyes, tearing up. "It was hard when I had to blow up at her last year, and it was even harder to stay angry… especially when it was only hurting both of us. Heather needed me, and I needed her, and she's changed. It felt nice to let go of that anger. Kind of like I noticed Courtney--"

"Please! Shut up!" Justin was looking nervously at Lindsay, who looked stunned for a moment, before her face turned to a scowl.

"Something's wrong here," Lindsay said, irritated. "Something isn't right here. Why are you so angry, Tyler? That's not like you."

"Oh, I, uh, I'm sorry? That must've slipped."

"You're not Tyler," Lindsay said coldly, before it really started to sink in. "Wait! You're not Tyler! Help!" Lindsay started screaming, all the way back to her cabin, waking up her sleeping roommates, save for Heather, who was not yet asleep.

"Are you OK?" Heather asked.

"No," Lindsay said weakly, crying. "There was a strange man, dressed like Tyler, hitting on me, asking to make out with me. But it wasn't Tyler." Heather and Courtney put their arms around Heather, looking worried, not sure what to say, just knowing that something was very wrong with what just happened.

"Don't worry, guys, Kaleidoscope is on the case!" Izzy said, grinning.

"Kaleidoscope?" Courtney asked. "Is that one of those imaginary people in your head?"

"No, silly. Kaleidoscope is an ace detective, and she's going to hunt down this evil man who tried to hurt our Lindsay," Izzy said, grinning wildly. "This guy's going to be in so much trouble." Izzy then left the cabin in a huff.

* * *

**Votes**

Beth: Eva  
Bridgette: Duncan  
Duncan: Beth  
Eva: Duncan  
Gwen: Eva  
Justin: Beth  
Katie: Duncan  
Noah: Beth  
Sadie: Duncan

Duncan: 4  
Beth: 3  
Eva: 2

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan

Remaining Killer Chrises: Beth, Bridgette, Eva, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Noah, Sadie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Tyler, Trent

* * *

Yeah… no more fooling around here. Duncan's gone. And you're all about to kill me for it, I'm sure. Them's the brakes, I guess. Duncan was fun, but for the story, he needed to leave. He won't be forgotten, anyway: all of the losers will continue to be seen in the story.

If you wish to leave concrit, feel free. Or just anything else you want to say. I'd rather not hear "OMG Duncan noooo you suck!" sorts of reviews, but I can't actually stop you from doing that, either.


	7. Day 4, Part 1: Courting Disaster

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 7: Day 4: Part 1: Courting Disaster**

Chris was standing on the edge of the Dock of Shame, making the typical grand gestures as he started speaking. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris_, we paid homage to that classic girl-power Japanese cartoon, _Sailor Moon_. And of course, you can't do _Sailor Moon _without your idiot blonde lead, but luckily for us, we have Lindsay on hand." Chris pinched his fingers together. "And the **slightly **less dimwitted Bridgette."

"They really got into their parts, too, and had Heather help get their hair fixed into Serena's kooky hairstyle, which helped the girls bond, and helped Heather get back into their good graces. At least with some of them. Lindsay and Sadie seemed to let go of their anger, while Bridgette and Izzy seemed to be starting to trust her a little more, but she's still got more than her share of enemies that I hope stir up some drama that she isn't stirring up anymore. Seriously, I don't like this whole 'growing as a person' crap. I wanted the drama she brought here last year!"

"In the end, by a mere thirtieth of a second, the Screaming Pansies defeated all the monsters before the Killer Chrises did, meaning the Killer Chrises once again had to vote off one of their own. And another guy. I'm with Ezekiel: is it any wonder they're sucking when they're voting off all the strong men? Justin may have put himself on the chopping block too with that stunt with Lindsay, trying to disguise himself as Tyler, hoping to make out. Unfortunately for him, Lindsay was a little smarter than he gave her credit for, and realized that he wasn't Tyler, but some guy trying to take advantage of her. Yet she seemed completely oblivious that it was Justin." Chris put his finger on his chin. "Maybe I was giving her too much credit there. But will Justin try that again? Will Justin make more enemies when the others figure out that was him? Are these guys even smart enough to figure it out? And of course, how is Courtney going to react when she finds out that Duncan has been voted off? My guess? A lot of screaming." Chris took out a pair of earplugs, and put them in his ears. "So stay tuned for all of this, the downright cruelest challenge ever, and the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, coming up now on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

"Do you think you can go to sleep, Lindsay?" Heather asked that night, smiling, on the floor of her cabin, comforting Lindsay, crying softly. "I'll make sure you're safe, OK?"

"I'll watch too," Courtney said. "Heather, you can wake me up in a couple of hours, OK? We both really do need to get some sleep ourselves."

"Sure thing. Lindsay, we're not going to let anything happen to you. And if I find out who did this to you, I promise I will make them pay."

"Thanks guys," Lindsay said softly, as Courtney and Heather brought her over to her bed, laid her down, and covered her.

"I can agree with Heather for once," Leshawna said from her bed. "If we find out who did this, they're gonna' be sorry they messed with this sister. You guys can count me in on the watch, too."

"Thanks," Heather said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I still don't trust that witch, but that really wasn't the time to point out that Heather was faking concern. Don't think Lindsay could've taken it at that moment.

* * *

The next day, Heather and Courtney were outside the cabins, doing an improv dance with Lindsay watching, at least until Heather tripped and fell into Courtney, knocking them both over. Lindsay was smiling brightly, and Tyler--the real Tyler, that is--was sitting next to her, holding her hand.

"Thanks guys," Lindsay said. "You really don't have to do all this."

"We just wanted to cheer you up," Courtney said, smiling back, picking herself off the ground. "I really hope none of this makes it to air, though."

"Pretty sure that just jinxed it for you," Heather answered, laughing a bit.

"Does anyone know who was voted off last night, anyway?" Tyler asked.

"Probably Katie or Sadie," Courtney said. "No one really likes the identical twins. All they do is 'eeeiii' all day long, deafening everyone." Courtney put extra emphasis, waving her hands wildly while imitating the squeal.

"I don't know," Lindsay said. "They might not be so bad if you gave them a chance."

"They're not really identical either," Heather added. "Sadie's more forgiving. You really ought to make up with her."

"And have more apples thrown at me? No thanks," Courtney said, with a disgusted look on her face. "Only thing worse would be Harold and his horrible Harold-ness."

"He's not really so bad," Heather said. "Duncan was picking on him last year--"

"And he took it out on me! That's fair!" Courtney shouted, raising her hands in the air, then crossing her arms. "I was innocent!"

"I wouldn't exactly say you were innocent, Courtney," Tyler added, a bit irritated.

"What?!" Courtney shrieked, before lunging toward Tyler, with Heather holding her back.

"This isn't going to help, Courtney," Heather said, though looked confused. "But seriously, Tyler, what are you talking about?"

"Well, Courtney may not have been bullying Harold like Duncan was, but she was always putting him down, calling him useless, even when he proved himself over and over."

"He **was** useless!" Courtney shot back. "And annoying!"

"How was he useless?" Tyler asked.

Courtney stood there thinking for several seconds, then responded oddly quietly. "He was just useless."

"So," Tyler started, changing the subject back, "what did this guy last night look like, anyway?"

"All we know is that he was dressed like you," Courtney said, completely calm.

"Dressed like me?" Tyler asked, blinking. "Justin borrowed one of my suits."

"Justin?" Courtney asked. "The ridiculously hot guy Justin? He did this?!"

"Now, we don't know--"

"Justin is dead," Heather said flatly.

Tyler was looking nervous. "We really don't want to just go around--"

"Justin is **dead!**" Heather shrieked, stomping her foot on the ground, then walking off. Courtney watched for a few seconds, before running after.

"I'd better go with her," Courtney said, looking nervous. Lindsay and Tyler just stared at them leaving, until Lindsay finally looked to Tyler, confused.

"Who's Justin?"

Elsewhere, Heather was in search of Justin, while Courtney was following, mostly to try to keep Heather under control, though Courtney's concerns were soon diverted as Bridgette walked up to her.

"Courtney," Bridgette said, looking nervous, "I have bad news."

"You know who hurt Lindsay last night?" Courtney asked, irritated, and Heather stopped for a moment to hear Bridgette's answer.

"Wait, what?" Bridgette asked, looking very confused. "Someone hurt Lindsay?"

"Justin tried to trick Lindsay into making out with her last night," Heather said, angry. "He's going to die when I find him."

"What?! Justin did… Lindsay…" Bridgette started stuttering, and sat down. "Wait, let me--Justin hurt Lindsay?"

"Yes," Heather angrily stated.

"We suspect Justin hurt Lindsay," Courtney said, "but we're still not positive. We do know that he borrowed a jumpsuit from Tyler, and that the perpetrator was wearing a red jumpsuit."

"I'm positive," Heather stated coldly.

"Justin would do that?" Bridgette asked, nervous. "I mean, I don't know a lot about him… he's usually so quiet. I just--I don't know." Bridgette was looking concerned.

"We should get Duncan to beat the crap out of him!" Heather shouted. "Where is Duncan, anyway?"

"Well," Bridgette said hesitantly, looking guilty. "He's… well…." Courtney was starting to look worried with Bridgette's uneasiness, and had a bad feeling about what Bridgette wasn't saying.

"Duncan was voted off?" Courtney said, trying to hold back tears.

"Yes," Bridgette said. "I'm sorry." Courtney went from sadness to anger in a split second.

"Who did it," Courtney said in a low voice.

"I… don't know?" Bridgette asked, faking a smile.

"Gwen," Courtney muttered, before storming off. Heather and Bridgette stared as she left, both looking nervous. Soon after, Bridgette turned to Heather.

"I voted for Duncan." Heather looked confused and surprised.

"Why?"

Bridgette sat down, putting her head in her hands. "I was getting along so well with everyone, except Duncan just didn't like me. I couldn't vote for anyone else. I didn't think he'd wind up leaving, though. I don't know who else voted for him."

Heather sat down beside Bridgette, putting an arm around her. "I'm sorry. Courtney isn't going to be happy about that, though."

"I feel like I betrayed her," Bridgette said, crying softly.

"Would you like me to tell her?"

"No. I have to do it." Bridgette stood back up, looking firm though worried, but then smiled at Heather. "Thank you, though."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Heather's really been nicer this year. I really don't think it's an act.

Courtney: Gwen is dead! You hear me?! No one votes off my man! Um… (Courtney looks into the camera.) I mean, Duncan was a good player, and their team will surely suffer now that he's gone.

* * *

"Gwen!" Courtney shouted, storming over toward the goth. "What is the meaning of this?!"

Gwen looked at Courtney in confusion. "Meaning of what?"

"Duncan," Courtney said. "Why did you vote Duncan off?!"

Gwen let out a sigh. "I didn't vote Duncan off. Why would I do that?"

"Because you like him and needed to get him away from me!"

"Yes. I'm sure kicking him off the island was some grand master plan I had to get closer to him and steal him from you. Surely now that I can't talk to him anymore, we'll be closer than ever!" Gwen was rolling her eyes.

"But… I, you--" Courtney stuttered, confused. "But you had to… I mean--

""Look," Gwen said, irritated. "I didn't vote Duncan off. I don't know who did. I'd guess Eva was one of them, though."

"Oh," Courtney said, saddened. "Eva. That's… but she could kill me!"

"You probably shouldn't get into it with her, then."

"I can't--I mean, why would Eva do that to me?"

"Not everything's about you."

"Oh, I'm sure she wanted revenge on me! She was probably thinking that she couldn't take both of us on, so she got rid of Duncan to take care of me!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Well, now I know who was keeping Courtney sane the past few days. Nice to know those days are over.

* * *

"Courtney, I think you need to calm down," Gwen said.

"Wait," Courtney said, looking worried. "Where's Heather?"

"I couldn't care less. Why would you want to find that harpy, anyway?"

"One, she's changed, and you should really give her a second chance. Two, she thinks Justin was trying to make Lindsay make out with him last night, and she's looking for blood!"

"Wait… what?!" Gwen uttered in confusion. "Justin did what now?!"

"Someone dressed like Tyler, but who wasn't Tyler, tried making out with Lindsay last night, trying to trick her into doing it, but then she realized it wasn't Tyler, and came running back to our cabin, and someone is going to pay!"

"Well, that's… admirable, I guess," Gwen said, looking a bit dazed, putting her hand on her forehead. "That's a lot to take in. Are you sure Heather doesn't have some ulterior motive for wanting Justin dead."

"I'm… pretty sure, anyway."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Justin must have some dirt on Heather that she doesn't want to get out. That has to be it. Heather doesn't care about Lindsay. I'm worried, though, since all my friends seem to be getting suckered right back in. It's like they have the memory of a goldfish.

* * *

"You!" Heather shouted, stomping toward Justin, who was starting to sweat.

"Me," Justin said, admiring himself in a hand-held mirror. "Thank you for noticing."

Heather was clenching her fists, and spoke in a very low tone. "What did you do to Lindsay."

"Me?" Justin asked, feigning shock. "Nothing. Too little going on upstairs for my tastes. She's a little," Justin paused, placing his finger on his chin, "how do I put this--stupid." Heather looked as if she were going to explode at any moment, as Beth came over toward Justin.

"Are you OK, Justin? Is Heather bothering you?"

"Oh, no, Beth," Justin said, smiling at Beth. "I was just telling Heather about how I was with you all last night. Wasn't it a lovely night Beth?"

Beth looked confused for a moment, but then really noticed Heather's anger, causing Beth to crack a mischievous smile. "Yes. Yes it was. It was the best date ever, and Heather wasn't there to ruin it!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Beth: I know Justin forgot about our date, but I couldn't let Heather know that! I want Heather to be jealous of how cool I am, compared to how much everyone hates her. I guess it's kinda' mean, but Heather deserves it!

Heather: Beth, Justin doesn't like you. I'm not saying this to be mean, but he's taking advantage of your desperation for his own selfish reasons. (Heather looks down and turns red.) I would know. I'm sorry, Beth.

* * *

Heather snapped, and went wide-eyed, and immediately started slashing at Justin's face.

"My face! My perfect face, ruined!" Justin whined, and started crying.

"Heather!" Beth shouted, pushing Heather away. "How could you!" Beth started hugging Justin, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Justin rolled his eyes, then stared deviously at Heather while Beth wasn't looking, and then pulled Beth up to him and started passionately kissing her. A real kiss. That was pissing Heather off all the more as she stormed off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: Ugh! Blech! That was disgusting! Still, if I need to kiss the troll girl to get her on my side… well, it's a small sacrifice for $1 million.

Beth: Justin really loves me! I wasn't really sure how he felt, but deep down, I knew he loved me, and I was right!

Heather: (tearing up) Beth, you deserve better.

* * *

"I'll see ya' later, Beth," Justin said, smiling and waving as he walked away, though looked disgusted when he turned around so Beth couldn't see. As Justin left, Cody popped out from a nearby bush.

"Beth?" Cody asked. "Justin wasn't with you last night. I was."

"Oh, I know," Beth said, smiling. "I wanted to make Heather jealous. But it's OK now. He kissed me willingly. He really does like me!"

"But he stood you up last night."

"I think he just forgot. It's OK, though. Everyone makes mistakes."

"Well," Cody started, looking saddened, "I hope you're right."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: Something isn't adding up here. I mean, I don't want to break them up if they're happy together--I still love you though, Gwen--but I don't think Beth and Justin are happy together. Justin's up to something.

* * *

Courtney was back sitting with Lindsay and Tyler, all trying to make Lindsay feel better.

"Thanks Courtney," Lindsay said, smiling. "You're a good friend. And Tyler, you're a good boyfriend." Lindsay gave Tyler a small kiss on the cheek, as Bridgette came walking over.

"Are you all right, Lindsay?" Bridgette asked, leaning down to put a hand on her shoulder. "I heard about what happened last night."

"Thanks Bailey," Lindsay said, smiling. "I'm all right now. Tyler, Courtney, and Heather have been making sure I've been OK."

"You actually got all their names right," Bridgette said, smiling bigger.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Not my name, granted, but maybe soon. She's getting better.

* * *

"Courtney," Bridgette started, looking very nervous, as was Courtney, "I really need to tell you something. I really hope you don't get too mad, but--"

"Bridgette!" Izzy shouted, rushing up to her and pulling her away. "Bridgette, Bridgette, Bridgette!"

"What!" Bridgette shouted, as she was being carried away.

"It's Zeke time! You and Zeke need to have a nice talk and then make out!"

"Izzy," Bridgette said, annoyed, "I already have a boyfriend."

Izzy shrugged. "I won't tell Geoff."

"He can see us on TV at the Playa' des Losers."

"He won't mind." Izzy had a crazed smile on her face as she sat Bridgette down at a small table with a plate of spaghetti and a meatball.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: So I saw in this movie once, where these two dogs were slurping on spaghetti, and they wound up slurping on the same strand, and then they growled at each other, fighting over that piece of spaghetti, but then they were turned into greyhound vests… wait. That wasn't very romantic at all.

* * *

"Just wait there, Bridgette!" Izzy exclaimed, as she rushed off. Bridgette looked stunned for a moment before resuming her worried look. A few minutes later, Izzy returned with Ezekiel, who himself looked to be in a state of shock. "Now you two lovebirds behave!" Izzy snuck off to leave Bridgette and Ezekiel alone, neither of whom were doing much.

"So," Bridgette started, pausing for a few moments, "you think I'm hot."

"I'm soory," Ezekiel said, hanging his head in shame. "This was Izzy's idea."

Bridgette chuckled. "I know. You don't have to be scared of me, though. I don't bite."

"You kinda' did when I said that stuff… about… well…." Ezekiel was trailing off, not really wanting to finish. "I'm soory about those things I said, eh."

"You can relax. I'm not good at staying mad. I can't even stay mad at Heather."

"Heather?" Ezekiel asked. "But wasn't she like the meanest, well, meanest person here?"

"Yes," Bridgette said, smiling, "but people change. You've changed, right?"

"Yep," Ezekiel said. "I knoo that girls are joost as smart and strong as us guys are, eh? And I'm soory about the hot tub incident."

"It's OK, really," Bridgette said, smiling. "You weren't used to hanging around other teenagers. You're learning, though, and you know not to try to break anyone up. I'm not sure if Izzy knows--"

"Izzy knows!" Bridgette and Ezekiel looked over, trying to figure out where Izzy was hiding, but neither could find her.

"Izzy means well," Ezekiel said. "She even only gave us one meatball. I think she remembered that you don't eat meat, eh?"

"Yeah," Bridgette said, smiling. "I still don't feel comfortable eating the spaghetti. I mean, the meatball's kind of mixed in with the sauce."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Oh, come on, Bridgette! A stray meat molecule won't kill you, I promise!

* * *

"Is it OK if I eat it?" Ezekiel asked. "I mean, I don't know if it's true, but I've heard stories about vegetarians who--"

Bridgette put a finger to Ezekiel's mouth, smiling. "It's OK. Most vegetarians aren't crazy like that. If you like it, you can eat it."

"Thank you," Ezekiel said, gobbling down the spaghetti, smacking his lips, which was bothering Bridgette a bit.

"Do you think you could eat a bit quieter?" Bridgette asked.

Ezekiel looked confused. "I wasn't talking."

"Well… I'll explain later. You look hungry now. Just enjoy it."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I may need to teach Zeke some table manners, but he seems like he wants to better himself.

Chef: When I find out who stole my personal plate of spaghetti, I'm gonna' make them pay! (Chef takes out a fork with a meatball on the end and shoves it into his mouth.) Least they left me a meatball.

* * *

"You really are the prettiest girl here," Ezekiel said, smiling.

Bridgette blushed. "Thank you."

"Make out!" Bridgette and Ezekiel once again looked around to try to figure out where Izzy was hiding.

"We know that's you, Izzy," Bridgette said, a little annoyed, then smiled back at Ezekiel. "You really are a nice guy, though. I'm sorry we didn't really give you a chance."

"Courtney was pretty mean. It wouldn't have bean too bad if she was voted off first instead of me, eh?"

Bridgette didn't look too happy with that comment. "Courtney's my friend. She was there for me when Geoff and I were having trouble last year." Ezekiel looked like he was scared to say anything more, so Bridgette continued. "She's a good friend. She's just a bit… well, abrasive."

"I think she's mad at me," Ezekiel said, looking down.

Bridgette continued smiling. "She might be mad at me, too." Ezekiel looked confused. "I voted for Duncan last night, and he was voted off the show. Courtney's going to kill me for that. He was just mean to me, though." Ezekiel continued looking at her, unsure of what he was supposed to say. "I really need to tell her, though. I can't lie to Courtney. She's my friend, and she deserves to know the truth." Bridgette started to get up from the table. "Thank you, Zeke. I'm sorry there was no make-out session, but you're a nice guy. You can talk to me whenever you want, OK? I'm going to apologize to Courtney now." Bridgette waved goodbye, and started walking away, as Ezekiel was slurping up the final strand of spaghetti. As he finished, Izzy pounced on him from above, knocking his chair backward, to the ground.

"Izzy's a great matchmaker!" Izzy exclaimed. "I know how to pick 'em. Maybe you two will kiss next time. Some guys like to take it slow, and some girls like taking it slow, so it's not necessarily a bad thing."

"We're just friends," Ezekiel said. "That's all right with me, eh?"

Izzy smiled back, with rare sincerity in her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with that. Friends are good to have." Izzy gave Ezekiel a gentle hug. "Now you've got me and Bridgette." After a few seconds, Izzy returned to her usual manic self. "Whoa, got all sappy there for a moment. Sappy Izzy's a sap, though. Wild and crazy Izzy is the fun girl everyone knows and loves! Let's get jiggy with it!"

"Jiggy with it?" Ezekiel asked, confused again. "Like a jigsaw puzzle?"

"No, silly," Izzy said, smiling. "Just dance, feel the beat, move to the groove, and junk like that. It's not important… oh, important!" Izzy slapped her forehead. "I figured out who hurt Lindsay last night! I need to report my findings back to Lindsay! Toodles!" Izzy kissed Ezekiel's forehead and then skipped off in a hurry.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: Wait… does Izzy like me? Or woos that kiss just one of those random things Izzy doos?

* * *

Back in front of the cabins, Lindsay was sitting with Courtney and Tyler, with Heather nearby, as Bridgette came walking back. "Courtney," Bridgette said, looking nervous, "I really need to tell you something."

Courtney spoke matter-of-factly. "Yes, Bridgette?"

"You might get mad…."

"Bridgette, I can control my temper. I'm sure you couldn't have done anything that bad," Courtney said, smiling at her friend, who was rubbing her foot against the ground.

"Well," Bridgette said, uneasy, "I kind of voted for Duncan last night."

Courtney's eyes grew wide, and she had an unnaturally large smile on her face. "Please leave."

"I'm sorry, Courtney." Bridgette was looking as sweet as she could to Courtney.

"Please leave. I really don't want to say anything that I'm going to regret later."

Bridgette could see that Courtney was trying hard to hold back, and figured that she might be able to apologize after Courtney had some time to cool down. "I hope you feel better, Lindsay." Bridgette smiled for Lindsay as she walked away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: **What the hell was that?!** You were supposed to be my best friend here, and you stab me in the back like that?! How could Bridgette do that to me?! How could she vote for Duncan. (Courtney starts sobbing.)

* * *

"You did good, Courtney," Lindsay said, smiling. "I'm proud of you." Lindsay gave Courtney a tight hug, and after a few seconds, Courtney hugged back.

"Thank you." Courtney put on a smile for Lindsay. "I can't believe she'd do that, though."

"You can always let out your frustration in the outhouse," Heather said. "I kind of did that a lot last season to let our my frustrations. You should've seen the rants that didn't make the cut."

"I think I could use that," Courtney said. "Thank you." Courtney got up and left for the outhouse.

Elsewhere, Bridgette was talking with Katie and Sadie. "Courtney's mad at me for voting for Duncan last night," Bridgette said.

"Who cares about her?" Katie asked, rolling her eyes with her hands on her hips.

"We voted for Duncan, anyway," Sadie said. "I don't remember why, though."

"Revenge on Courtney," Katie said flatly. "She was mean to us."

Bridgette's eyes grew wide, then narrowed, looking unhappy with the duo. "Courtney's really not a bad person."

"But she got everyone to vote me off last season!" Sadie pleaded. "I apologized!"

"But I probably would've voted for you anyway," Bridgette said, frustrated.

"Wait… why me?" Sadie gave Bridgette a puppy dog look. "What did I do?"

"Well, nothing."

"Then why would you want to vote me off?" Sadie was looking miserable, as Katie was trying to comfort her.

"Well," Bridgette started, "that's just it. You didn't really do anything after Katie left. You were miserable, and mostly just kind of sulked. You needed Katie." Bridgette was smiling at the two girls, hoping they'd understand.

"Sadie?" Katie asked. "Were you really that miserable after I left?"

"Well, kinda'," Sadie said. "Well, yes. It just wasn't any fun without you, Katie. I just kinda' kept to myself."

"Well, Courtney was still mean to us," Katie insisted, "but I guess it did turn out OK, if Sadie was really that miserable."

"And she's still so bossy," Sadie said, looking worried. "Why couldn't she just let us have fun?"

"I did rule at dodge ball last year, though," Katie said, pepped up. "I mean, after Harold and Duncan, I was the best player!"

Bridgette continued smiling. "I don't really remember. I'll just trust you on that."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: That's weird. I remember your dodge ball skills like that challenge was yesterday.  
Katie: Maybe Bridgette doesn't have a good memory.  
Sadie: I wonder if she'd remember your last birthday party. That was awesome! There's no way she forgot that!  
Katie: She wasn't there.  
Sadie: So I guess you think she doesn't remember that, either?  
Katie: Of course not. She wasn't there.  
Sadie: Oh. But I remember it. That was like so off the hook!  
Katie: I know!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

* * *

Izzy was standing before Lindsay, and Tyler and Heather, who were both sitting beside Lindsay.

"Kaleidoscope has solved the mystery," Izzy said. "It was Justin, all right. I'd recognize his lying face anywhere. I can't believe I ever dated him. The show sure doesn't make it hard to break into the control room to watch the videotape. At least not for the leet skills of Kaleidoscope."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: I never dated Izzy! Urgh, why does she make that crap up?!

* * *

"Wow, thank you, uh," Lindsay scratched her head for a moment, trying to remember Izzy's new name. "E-scope?"

"Kaleidoscope, actually, but that's not bad. Good shorter form… Kaleidoscope approves of that nickname."

"So I was right," Heather stated. "May I proceed to kill him now?"

"Ooh!" Izzy exclaimed. "It'll be so much fun! We get to wear hot cat suits, sneaking by security, and then when we get to our target, we get to snap his neck, and then run from the law the rest of our lives! It'll be so much fun."

"Actually, I'm not sure I'd want to be running from the law the rest of my life," Heather said.

"You get used to it," Izzy beamed back.

"Why would he do that?" Lindsay asked, crying a bit. "Why would Jerry do that?"

"I'm guessing the moneymakers," Izzy said nonchalantly.

"The what?" Lindsay seemed very confused.

"These!" Izzy exclaimed, grabbing her own breasts, waving them around, still under her green shirt. Heather looked disturbed, Lindsay seemed to be taking it seriously, and Tyler was looking aroused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: Look, I'm a guy. Izzy's an attractive girl. I can't help it! It's not like I was actively searching out for that!

* * *

Ezekiel was sitting by himself, his eyes darting back and forth between what Izzy was up to and what Bridgette was doing, before being pulled away and muffled by Chef. Ezekiel was placed in a secluded spot in the woods, before Chris, who was smirking.

"Ezekiel! Home School!" Chris said, smiling deviously. "You're just in time for our next challenge!"

"Er, why is it just me, eh?"

"Because it's a secret challenge!" Chris started laughing maniacally, leaving Ezekiel shivering. "This challenge is sure to add some much-needed drama to our show. And you can make an easy point for your team here."

"Doing what?"

"Well, we miss the old women-hating Ezekiel from last year," Chris said, filing his nails.

"I didn't hate woomen, eh." Ezekiel said.

"Sure you didn't. Anyway, to get a point for your team, all you have to do is read this script." Chris pulled out a sheet of paper, and handed it to Ezekiel. Ezekiel was reading it, looking very uneasy by the time he finished.

"So, am I like in a play?"

"No," Chris said. "It's real life. Or at least the person you read that to is going to think it's real life. And that's the idea! We want to see you crushed! We want carnage here!"

"Maybe Eva will forgive me after I finish and tell her it was all for the challenge."

"Nope," Chris said, and started laughing maniacally to himself again. "First of all, it's a secret challenge. If you tell anyone else about it, your team automatically loses. Second of all, the script isn't for Eva."

Ezekiel looked confused. "It's not? But isn't she the most life-threatening person I could tell?"

"Yes," Chris said, smirking. "But it's not just about the bloodshed, my man. It's about pure, unadulterated hated, and, let's face it, Eva already hates you. Bridgette, on the other hand--"

"I have to tell this to Bridgette?!"

"You catch on fast! So just memorize your lines, and then go and tell them to Bridgette, and you'll earn your team a point."

Ezekiel walked off, downtrodden, as he started practicing the lines on the paper. "You think you're all that and a bag of chips," Ezekiel scratched his head at that line. "Must be more of that teenage slang. Let's see… girls suck at everything. They have enough trouble cooking meals for their men, and should be kicked out of the workplace entirely. In fact, if I could, I'd just send all the women in Canada to a remote deserted island, so us men can live in peace without all of their PMSing." Ezekiel continued looking at the paper, then crumpled it up and tossed it to the ground.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: I couldn't do it. Bridgette's been so nice, and doesn't deserve that. And I don't deserve her hating me again.

Chris: I'll need to make sure to point out that it's Ezekiel's fault later on if the Screaming Pansies lose.

* * *

Chris and Chef were monitoring Ezekiel from a wristwatch Chris was wearing, and Chris looking clearly disappointed. "Well, that was a bust. Life goes on, though. Chef, get me Leshawna. I expect better from her."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Seriously, I should've thought of this challenge last year. Chris Maclaine, you are a handsome genius!

* * *

Chef dropped off Leshawna, who looked both irritated and confused, before Chris.

"What's the meaning of this?!" Leshawna shouted.

"Challenge time!" Chris exclaimed gleefully. "It's a secret challenge, though, so you can't tell anyone else. If you do, your team automatically loses."

"Look, I don't care. Just tell me what the challenge is."

"Fine," Chris said, smirking. "You hate Heather, right?"

"Yeah, I do! You know that. Why you asking me such a dumb question, anyway?"

"Well," Chris said, tapping his chin, "how would you feel about getting some revenge on her?"

Leshawna looked interested, and started pounding her fists. "Nothing I'd love more!"

Chris handed Leshawna a piece of paper. "Chef has prepared a vat of vomit near the dock of shame. Turns out we really had a lot of leftover vomit from last season. Like, a lot of it. If you toss Heather in, while yelling those insults at her, you get your team a point. Are you up to it?"

Leshawna started cackling, freaking out Chris a bit. "Oh, you know I am!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Seriously, Leshawna didn't have to be **that **happy about it. Kind of worries me a bit for her sanity.

* * *

"You know," Heather said, standing before Harold, "you really ought to apologize to Courtney."

"Why should I?" Harold asked indignantly. "Duncan was making my life here a living hell! And she was making out my tormenter!"

"So why didn't you just have Duncan voted off, anyway?"

"He wouldn't have cared," Harold said, crossing his arms. "He'd have been like 'whatever,' and still happy, still supporting his lousy girlfriend."

Heather looked a bit irritated. "But what did she ever do to y--oomph!" Before Heather could finish, she was picked up over Leshawna's head, angrily headed for the Dock of Shame."

"What are you doing, you loud-mouthed freak?!" Heather shrieked.

"Teaching you to leave my man alone!" Leshawna shouted.

"Your man?"

"You're nothing but a two-faced backstabbing lying little--"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: (covered in vomit from head to toe, minus wig) What was **that **for?! (Heather starts tearing up.)

* * *

Heather looked frightened, and even more so when she saw the vat of puke.

"Please don't do this, Leshawna! Please!" Heather pleaded, but it was falling on deaf ears.

"No dice!" Leshawna shouted, tossing Heather into the vat, who threw her wig onto the ground before falling in, where she felt like she was drowning. "You're never going to change. You'll always be that miserable little person you were last year!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: OK, I'll admit I blatantly plagiarized from Lindsay's little tirade last year. I'm the host! I'm allowed to do that!

* * *

Lindsay, Courtney, Tyler, and Bridgette had rushed over shortly after, notice what had just transpired, and helping Heather out of the vat.

"Are you OK?" Lindsay asked. She and the others could barely see Heather beneath all the sludge. "What happened?" Heather fell to her knees and started sobbing. Lindsay went down to give Heather a big, gentle hug. "I'm sorry."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (with a fair amount of vomit on her front) How could Lafawnda do that? I thought she was nicer than that.

Courtney: Leshawna is going to pay for that little stunt! She's not going to get away with that!

Bridgette: Heather's hair didn't grow back? Did she have a wig on all this time? I'd feel awful if her hair really didn't grow back after a whole year. No one deserves that.

Tyler: The vomit seemed to eat through Heather's hair… that was tragic. She had beautiful hair. (Tyler looks angrily into the camera.) What? I'm allowed to notice!

* * *

"Bridgette," Courtney said. "Why?"

"I'm sorry, Courtney," Bridgette said, looking miserable.

"I know," Courtney said, smiling at her friend, "but I don't understand why you did it."

"I really didn't think he'd get kicked off. I didn't know who else I could vote for, though, and Duncan's been kind of mean to me--"

"Wait, what?" Courtney said, flustered. "He was picking on you?"

"Not exactly, but--"

"Urgh! I'll have a chat with him later… I wish you'd have told me, though," Courtney said, still smiling. "I could've straightened him out. I know how to make him listen and obey," Courtney said, smirking.

"So you're not mad?" Bridgette asked, hopeful.

"I'm mad. Just not at you," Courtney said, hugging her friend, though Bridgette was quickly taken away by Chef.

"Bridgette?" Courtney asked, and noticed she was being dragged off by Chef. "Now what does Chef want with her?" Courtney then turned back to Heather. "Are you OK?"

Heather started to walk away, still crying. "I'm going to take a shower. Could one of you watch my wig?"

"Of course," Courtney said. "Glad this didn't get ruined."

Meanwhile, Chef had placed Bridgette before Chris, in the same secluded spot he was before. "Greetings, camper!" Chris exclaimed, before starting to laugh maniacally. Bridgette was looking worried, gulping.

"What do you want?"

"I want you to earn a point for your team in today's secret challenge. If you tell anyone about it, your team automatically loses, so I'd be quiet if I were you."

"OK," Bridgette asked, sounding weirded out. "So what is this 'secret' challenge you want me to do," Bridgette said, motioning finger quotes.

"It's simple. All you have to do is find Ezekiel, and follow this script." Chris handed Bridgette a sheet of paper, then started cackling.

"That's kind of freaking me out," Bridgette said, before she started reading the paper. She grew wide-eyed as she continued reading, though. "You want me to flirt with and kiss Ezekiel?!"

"Yes," Chris said. "That's the idea."

"But what about Geoff?"

"He's probably watching from the Playa' des Losers. He'll know it's just for the challenge. Probably. Though as stupid as he is, he may not, so who knows!"

Bridgette was steaming, but tried to restrain herself. "What about Ezekiel?"

"Well," Chris started, smirking, "the whole point of the challenge is for Ezekiel to believe your advances are real, so… no, we're not letting him in on this."

"I'm not doing it," Bridgette said, with venom.

"That's your choice. But it might cost your team the win. And they'll hate you!"

"No," Bridgette said, highly agitated. "They'll respect me for my decision."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I really hope.

Chef: Is pretty boy just gonna' repeat every line from the first season? Seriously, same speech he gave chicken girl, copied Lindsay word for word from her tirade last season, just lazy if you ask me.

* * *

Bridgette started walking away, and Chris looked irritated. "Seriously, I was hoping for more interesting results from this challenge. Still have plenty of people without morals to make it work, though. Chef, bring me Justin."

"I've been waitin' for this one," Chef said, with a scary smile on his face.

"Justin doesn't seem to have any morals, so I'm sure he won't disappoint," Chris said, smirking. "But will it be enough for the Killer Chrises to finally win the challenge? Will they finally break their losing streak? Or will they be sending another guy home. You know, Ezekiel was right last year… guys must be stronger and smarter, since the Screaming Pansies keep winning, and the Killer Chrises keep losing guy after guy… I'm starting to think there isn't much hope for them, with all the sissy girls left, but who knows? Stay tuned to find out this and more, plus the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on _Total Drama Chris!"_


	8. Day 4, Part 2: Duncan Dines

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 8: Day 4: Part 2: Duncan Dines**

Justin looked confused, standing by Chef and Chris, as Chris started talking. "Welcome back to _Total Drama Chris. _And with me, I have Justin, ready and raring for today's secret challenge!" Chris started to stare at Justin, looking irritated, until after several seconds, Chris grew irritated enough waiting around. "This is where you're supposed to say 'secret challenge? What secret challenge?' And then I'd say 'the one that's a secret.' You know, funny, ha ha?"

"Yeah, I got the joke," Justin said, irritated.

"Moving on," Chris said, annoyed, "in order to get a point for your team, you have to shoot down Beth. I mean, we know how much you **love **her," Chris said, making a kissy face, "so if you don't want to hurt her feelings, I'd understand."

"Oh, I can do this," Justin smirked.

"All right, then," Chris said, handing Justin a sheet of paper. "Just read this script to Beth, and you get a point for the Killer Chrises."

Justin walked off, as Chef stared in awe, and Chris rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, Beth and Cody were sitting around the cabins.

"What do you do on a farm, anyway?" Cody asked. "Milk cows? Wake up before the sun rises?"

"Yes," Beth said, smiling, "but we have machines for the cows. We don't usually milk them by hand."

"Beth," a voice called from behind Beth and Cody: it was Justin.

"Justin!" Beth exclaimed, as she turned around and glomped him. "I'm so happy to see you again!" Cody looked suspiciously.

"Yeah, about that," Justin said.

"What is it?" Beth asked, looking confused.

"We're through!" Justin stated coldly.

"What? Why? What's wrong?"

"Because you're a hideous mark on a world of people who, while less beautiful than me, don't instantly repulse others with their pure unadulterated freakish appearance!" Justin was getting louder and more into it as he continued, as Beth started to cry, and Cody was looking notably upset. "Ugly people such as yourself don't even deserve to live! People like you should be drug out onto the street and shot! People like you go around, in your own little world, not even caring about how you hurt others' eyes, and you don't deserve anything, you little hellspawn prick!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: (stares blankly into the camera for several seconds, mouth agape)

Chris: Seriously, Justin was **way **too into that for my own comfort, even. His ad-libbing was a bit over the top there.

Chef: I'm actually a little terrified of that boy right now, and I've seen war!

* * *

Beth started sobbing uncontrollably, as Cody stood up, clenching his fists. "What the hell was that for?!"

"Look," Justin said, smiling, "I was tired of the little hellspawn bothering me. People break up all the time. It's not really a big deal."

"They don't break up like that!" Cody shouted, raising his arms. "What's wrong with a simple 'it's over'?!"

"Not my style," Justin said nonchalantly. Cody wound up throwing a punch to Justin's stomach, but only wound up hurting himself, and started moaning in pain. "Oh yeah," Justin said. "Did I forget to mention that I have a twelve-pack? Nice try, puny boy." And with that, Justin calmly walked away.

"Cody, are you OK?" Beth asked, still crying. "Are you hurt?"

"A little," Cody said, rubbing his right hand. Beth, though still crying, let out a smile.

"Thank you." Beth then kissed Cody on the cheek.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: (blushing) Well, that was nice.

* * *

"Sadie!" Chris exclaimed, after Chef placed the bigger BFFFL before him. "I'm so glad you could be here!"

Sadie was looking around nervously. "Where am I? And where's Katie?"

"None of your damn business!" Chef barked. Sadie crouched down and hid behind her hands.

Chris waved a finger at Chef. "You catch more flies with honey than… well, I'm actually not sure how the rest of that goes. But Sadie, are you ready for your secret challenge?"

"Secret challenge?" Sadie asked, looking nervous.

"But you can't tell anyone else about it," Chris said, smirking, "or your team will automatically lose!"

"Not even Katie?" Sadie asked, frowning.

"Nope!" Chris exclaimed gleefully. "Your challenge is a simple one, though, since you're too simple-minded for anything overly complicated." Chris handed Sadie an empty basket.

"What do I do with this?" Sadie asked, inspecting the basket, then wearing it as a hat.

"You throw the apples at Courtney's head."

"What apples?" Sadie asked, taking the basket off her head, confused.

"The apples in… um… Chef!" Chris shouted to Chef.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Maybe a certain someone would get paid in a timely manner if he'd do his job!

* * *

After waiting a while, Chef returned with a basket filled with apples, and threw it at Chris.

"Ow," Chris whined, then handed the basket to Sadie. "You'd like to get your revenge on Courtney, right?"

"Oh, yes!" Sadie exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

"Just throw the apples at Courtney to get your team a point."

"But what if I miss?"

Chris rubbed his forehead. "Fine. Just try your best, and as long as you can nail her with at least one apple, you'll get the point."

"OK," Sadie said, skipping through the forest to find Courtney.

* * *

Lindsay and Tyler were making out, so Courtney and Bridgette decided to walk away to give them some alone time.

"I think Lindsay's doing all right," Bridgette said, smiling.

"She's pretty strong, really," Courtney said. "Though I think being with Tyler is helping more than anything else right now."

"But you and Heather were up all last night with her. That counts for something, right?"

"Izzy and… well, Leshawna helped too," Courtney said, having trouble getting the word "Leshawna" out.

"Why did Leshawna throw Heather into that… well, vomit anyway? It sounded like they were getting along last night."

"That was just for Lindsay's sake," Courtney said, irritated. "Leshawna hates Heather for some reason."

"Well," Bridgette said, getting irritated for reasons different from Courtney's, "Heather was pretty mean to us last year."

"People deserve a second chance," Courtney said.

"So does that mean you'll give Katie and Sadie and Harold another chance?" Bridgette asked her friend, elbowing her.

"They don't deserve it," Courtney said flatly.

"What did Katie even do?" Bridgette asked, both confused and irritated.

"She sided with Sadie!" Courtney shouted.

"But Sadie just made one mistake. If Heather could commit dozens of atrocities last year, and Sadie just made one innocent mistake, why can't you forgive her?"

As if on cue, Sadie, looking upset, appeared before Bridgette and Courtney, holding a basket of apples.

"Revenge shall be mine!" Sadie shouted, crying, holding an apple in her hand, about to throw… but then just dropped it, and fell to the ground, crying. "I can't do it."

"Wait," Courtney said, angry. "Were you going to throw that at me?!"

"But she didn't," Bridgette said, going to the ground to comfort Sadie.

"I wanted to," Sadie said while crying. "I wanted revenge since Courtney's been so mean to me."

"You couldn't do it, though," Bridgette said softly.

"No," Sadie said. "I just wish Courtney would be nicer to me."

"You threw apples at me!" Courtney shouted.

"No she didn't!" Bridgette shouted back.

"Last year!" Courtney snapped back.

"I'm really sorry, Courtney," Sadie said, crying, as she picked herself up to hug Courtney gently. Courtney looked annoyed, but she allowed it.

"See," Bridgette said, smiling, "Sadie's a sweet girl.

"Joy," Courtney said flatly.

"I won't squee," Sadie said, looking up to Courtney. "I know that annoys you guys."

"Um, thank you?" Courtney said, looking confused. "What's a squee?"

"Oh, that's when Katie and me go 'eeeiii'--" Sadie stopped herself short. "Oh. I'm sorry about that one." Sadie looked down.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I would bet any money that this whole "throw apples at Courtney" thing was part of Chris's "secret challenge." I'm on to you, Chris.

Chris: OK, slight flaw in the challenge. Didn't occur to me that any of the campers would be smart enough to figure out when other people were doing their own challenges. Really, I could have sworn Bridgette was our idiot blonde last season.

* * *

"Gwen!" Chris exclaimed, as Chef placed Gwen before him. "It's so wonderful to have you here!"

"Can't really say the same," Gwen deadpanned.

"You're too kind. Anyway, it's now time for your secret challenge, but you can't tell anyone, or your team automatically loses."

"Fine," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "So what's so special about this challenge that it has to be a secret?"

"You hate Heather, right?"

"Almost as much as I hate you," Gwen said, giving Chris a knowing glare, sending shivers down Chris' spine.

"How would you like to get some much-deserved revenge?" Chris said, smirking.

"I'm liking the challenge so far," Gwen said, smiling a bit.

"Well, earlier today, Chef prepared a large vat full of vomit near the Dock of Shame."

"More vomit," Gwen said, disgusted. "We did **not** vomit thatmuch last season. Where is all of this coming from, really?"

"eBay," Chris said, irritated. "They sell a **lot **of freaky stuff on that site. Anyway, all you have to do is toss Heather into that vat, and read this script as you're doing it," Chris handed Gwen a sheet of paper identical to the one he handed to Leshawna earlier.

"I don't think I'm strong enough to carry Heather," Gwen said.

"You can ask for help, as long as you don't tell the person why you're doing it," Chris said. "Wouldn't want to miss out on the drama just because you're a puny weakling, after all."

"Ha ha," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Girl needs more meat on her bones!

* * *

Courtney and Bridgette were standing outside the communal washroom as Heather emerged, clean as ever, with her wig on once more.

"Lot easier to wash my hair now," Heather said, laughing a bit.

"I promise I won't tell anyone about the wig," Bridgette said, smiling.

"Thank you," Heather said, smiling, as she was once again picked up by Leshawna. "Wait! What are you doing?!"

"This is for last season!" Gwen shouted, following Leshawna.

"Um, Gwen?" Bridgette asked, following the others alongside Courtney. "What's going on?"

"Just tossing Heather into a vat of puke," Gwen said, smiling.

"Again?!" Courtney shouted. "Wasn't once enough?!"

"Again?" Gwen asked, confused.

"Leshawna already threw Heather into that vat an hour ago!" Courtney screamed. "She's finally cleaned up, and you're just going to throw her in again?! Is there no end to this?!"

"Damn you, Chris," Bridgette said to herself, before turning to Gwen. "Please don't do this, Gwen."

"I know, I know," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "I should be the 'better person' and rise above Heather's pettiness."

"Well, yes. Yes you should," Bridgette said. "But what has she done to you this year? Shouldn't you at least wait for her to do something before getting revenge on her?"

"She's been behaving!" Courtney shouted.

"Please?" Heather begged.

"Can I toss her in already?" Leshawna said impatiently. "My arms are getting tired."

"No," Gwen said. "Bridgette's right. Heather doesn't deserve this. Not yet, anyway. We should at least wait until she screws up again."

Leshawna casually tossed Heather back into the vat, and once again, Heather successfully tossed her wig to the ground before falling in.

"Leshawna, what was that for?!" Gwen shouted.

"Sorry, hand slipped," Leshawna lied. The other girls glared at her for a moment before helping Heather back out of the vomit vat. Once out of the vat, Heather collapsed to the ground, crying profusely.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Not cool, Leshawna. Not cool.

Bridgette: OK, how many people is Chris going to have throw Heather into the puke? Not funny, Chris. And not to say what Leshawna did was right, but I do wonder if that counts as a point for our team.

Chris: No, no it does not.

* * *

"I'm sorry guys," Gwen said to Bridgette and Courtney, before turning to Heather, and kneeling down before her. "I'm sorry, Heather." Gwen gave Heather a hug, getting puke on herself.

"Girl, you ain't got nothing' to be sorry for," Leshawna said to Gwen. "Little witch deserved it."

"No she didn't!" Gwen spat back, then turned back to Heather. "You didn't deserve this." Gwen then climbed into the vat of vomit herself, then climbed back out.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: OK, why did I do that again? And what happened to her hair, anyway?

* * *

"I know it's not much," Gwen said, smiling a bit, "but I figured at least I could suffer with you."

Heather hugged Gwen. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know!" Leshawna shouted, angry.

"It was kind of sweet," Bridgette said, smiling, before looking a bit grossed out. "And disgusting."

"Why don't we go shower off?" Gwen asked. Heather nodded, and the two started walking toward the showers. Bridgette and Courtney walked with them, with Courtney giving Leshawna a death glare as they were walking away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: As cruel as that girl was toward us last year, she deserves a little bit of payback, am I right, peeps?

* * *

Chris was waiting in the forest, as Izzy was walking toward him, dragging a hog-tied Chef behind her. "Chef said you wanted to see me. He tried to take me by force, but no one forces Izzy to do what Izzy doesn't want to do."

"I don't like this girl!" Chef shouted, prompting Izzy to throw a rock at him.

"Say that again, why don't you!" Izzy was preparing another rock in her hand, as Chef flinched.

Chris looked confused. "If you didn't want to come, then why did you?"

"I dunno'," Izzy sang. "The curiosity bug bit."

"Anyway, it's time for your secret challenge."

"Why is it a secret?" Izzy asked, climbing on Chris' shoulders. Chris quickly tossed her off.

"Because it's more fun if it's a secret! And if you tell anyone about it, your team automatically loses"

"Blah blah blah, yada yada, you know, the monster truck challenge should have been a secret challenge too. Then I could have crushed DJ's brains out, and he wouldn't have ever seen it coming, since he would have been unaware that Kaleidoscope was homing in on him, pinpointing his exact location until he came face to face with his untimely grisly demise!" Izzy then starts laughing maniacally, freaking Chris out.

"I'm the only one allowed to laugh like that," Chris said, nervous.

"I won't kill DJ though, so I'm afraid I cannot complete this secret mission." Izzy started walking away, though paused when Chris called to her.

"Izzy, it's not that." Izzy turned around, looking irritated. "All you have to do to get a point for your team is make out with Ezekiel, and… um…." Chris started to look around, but didn't see Izzy anywhere.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: OK, she's a little too eager to screw with Ezekiel's head here.

* * *

Ezekiel was sitting on the steps of his cabin, watching Bridgette who was standing outside the communal washroom, as Izzy leapt in front of him.

"What'cha doin'?" Izzy asked innocently, swaying a bit.

"Well, you knoo, actually--" Ezekiel was interrupted when Izzy yanked him up, pulled him close, and gave him a long, passionate kiss… at least on her end. Ezekiel seemed to be panicking a bit. She was going at it for a while--long enough for Owen notice, who didn't look too happy--before finally letting go.

"Oh Zeke, that was like so amazing!" Izzy beamed, bouncing up and down while still holding on to him.

"What woos that?" Ezekiel asked, disoriented.

"Just makin' hot love to ya'," Izzy said, cackling, then started looking unusually serious. "You didn't mind, did you?" Izzy asked sweetly.

"Um… uh…" Ezekiel was having trouble getting anything out. Izzy just smiled, though still trying to be serious.

"I'm sorry if I came on too strong, there."

"Nah, it was… well, unexpected." Ezekiel said, starting to smile. "But kind of nice, eh?"

"Izzy's so happy you're not mad with her," Izzy said, laying her head on Ezekiel's shoulder.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Izzy wants to thank Chris for the secret challenge. Gave Izzy a good reason to finally let Ezekiel know that she likes him, though Izzy knows he'd really like to be with Bridgette. Izzy can share, though!

Chris: That didn't go as expected.

Owen: What the blueberry muffins was that?!

* * *

"Courtney!" Chris exclaimed, as she was thrown before him by Chef. Courtney looked irritated as she picked herself up, dusting herself off.

"Your henchman has no right to manhandle me like that!" Courtney said, threateningly.

"Actually," Chris said, smirking, "it's part of the contract you signed. So yeah, he is allowed."

"I'm pretty certain that clause would not be legally enforceable," Courtney said, glaring at Chris.

"You wouldn't think," Chris said, unmoved, "but when you've got high-paid lawyers on your side, you'd be surprised by the things you could get away with. Just ask the RIAA."

"What did you bring me here for, anyway," Courtney said, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes.

"It's your next challenge! Your secret challenge! So if you tell anyone, you're automatically disqualified."

Courtney looked shocked, then rushed Chris and kicked him in the balls, sending him to the ground, holding himself in pain. "So **you **had Sadie throw those apples at me! And **you **had Heather thrown into that tub of vomit! Twice! And that's also why no one mentioned anything about your involvement!"

"Told you she was sharp," Chef shot at Chris. Chef walked over and kicked Chris' side. "Get up, you wimp!" Chef rolled his eyes, then walked over to Courtney. "Pretty boy ain't getting up, so I guess I'll need to give you your mission. Just walk up to Harold and do the same thing you did to pretty boy. Scrawny kid did you wrong last year, and besides, he needs to man up!"

Courtney smiled deviously, then started walking off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Why do they keep doing that?!

Bridgette: She didn't throw the apples at you! Get over it!

* * *

Courtney was hiding behind the side of the cabin, eyeing Harold practicing doing something with a yo-yo, waiting for the perfect time to strike.

"Hi Courtney!" Sadie exclaimed, running up to hug her. "I'm so glad we made up!"

Courtney blinked in confusion. "We did?"

"Maybe you could make up with Harold, too!"

"Forgive him?! Please. He got me voted off last season!"

"Well, you also kinda' got me voted off," Sadie said, still smiling brightly.

"You viciously attacked me!"

"Viciously attacked?" Sadie asked, her smile going away.

"I was completely innocent!"

Sadie shrugged. "Well, you did keep shooting him down when--"

"I. Was. Innocent!" Courtney growled. Sadie shrunk down in fear, then after a few seconds, waiting for Courtney to calm down a bit, she stood back up, smiling brightly again.

"I can help!" Sadie beamed. "What if I can get Harold to apologize? Then maybe you can apologize--"

"I have nothing to apologize for," Courtney said flatly.

"OK," Sadie said, thinking things over for a bit. "What about just him apologize, then?"

"Fine," Courtney said, irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I hate Sadie! And I hate that she's making it so hard to stay mad at her! Couldn't she remain unfriendly, like Harold? That would make it considerably easier to stay angry with her, like I should be. (Courtney wipes a tear from her eye.)

* * *

"Harold!" Sadie exclaimed, as she glomped the guy, and they both fell to the ground.

"Gosh!" Harold said, irritated, as he picked himself back up. "You could kill someone doing that!"

"I'm sorry," Sadie said sweetly. "I was just thinking that you should say you're sorry to Courtney."

"Why should I apologize?" Harold demanded. "She should apologize to me!"

"But you did kind of cheat last season," Sadie said nervously.

"She deserved it! She and Duncan were making my life a living hell!"

"So you cheated! Yeah. That's fair!" Sadie said, rolling her eyes. "She was mean to me, too, but still, that wasn't right!"

"She deserved it! And I'd do it again this year! Chris let me do it last year. He'll pretend to look the other way this year, too."

"But that's not fair!" Sadie said, starting to cry.

"My life isn't fair!" Harold shouted. Sadie looked downtrodden, and started walking back over to Courtney.

"He yelled at me," Sadie said softly, dropping her head into Courtney's chest, crying. "I'm sorry, Courtney. I tried."

"Thank you Sadie," Courtney said sweetly, patting Sadie's head. "Now I have no reason to feel guilty when I kick him in the balls."

Sadie looked up, confused. "Wait, what? Don't do that! He was mean, but he doesn't deserve that!"

"Yes. He does," Courtney said flatly, as she stormed toward Harold, who noticed, then started running away. Courtney ran faster though, and ultimately caught up, pushed him to the ground, and kicked him there. Sadie, watching, started to cry more, watching the ugly sight.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: It was nice of Courtney to kick Harold in the balls to defend me, I guess. I still wish she wouldn't have did it.  
Katie: Still, if she was willing to do that for you, she may not be so bad after all. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine!  
Sadie: Even Heather?  
Katie: Um, no. Heather doesn't count.

* * *

"Courtney!" Bridgette yelled, as she rushed over to Courtney and Harold when she heard Harold scream. "What happened?"

"Oh, nothing," Courtney said, smiling. "Harold was just being Harold."

"She kicked me there," Harold squeaked, pointing to his privates.

"You deserved it!" Courtney spat.

"Courtney," Bridgette said, putting her hand on Courtney's shoulder, "I know what he did last year, but isn't that a little… well, extreme?"

"She was defending my honor." The girls turned around to see Sadie, smiling. "Harold was picking on me, and Courtney came in to the rescue!"

"Actually," Courtney started, raising a finger, "that's not exactly why--"

"It's OK, Courtney," Sadie said, glomping Courtney. "We're friends now."

"Joy," Courtney deadpanned, giving a "why me" look.

Bridgette giggled. "Really, you two should get along fine. She's a sweet kid."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Sweet kid? Try immature brat. Immature brat who likes throwing apples at my head!

* * *

"Lindsay!" Chris exclaimed, as Chef dropped her before him. Lindsay herself was dizzy from being carted off by Chef.

"Where am I, Craig?"

"It's Chris. And you're in a secluded part of the forest."

"Forest?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I thought we were on an island."

"We are," Chris said, annoyed. "It's a forest on the island."

"You can get both of them together?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Never mind," Chris said, getting more irritated. "You're about to embark on today's secret challenge?"

"Woof! Woof!" Lindsay exclaimed, jumping up and down, looking pleased with herself.

"Uh, what was that?" Chris asked, scratching his head.

"You said I was supposed to bark!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling brightly. "So does this mean I win?"

Chris slapped his forehead. "No. Now moving on, you can't tell a soul about this challenge."

"Don't worry, Chuck," Lindsay said, grinning. "I'm the best secret-keeper I know! Like I've never told a soul about the time when by BFF Jennie went out with my other BFF Haley's boy toy behind Haley's back, and they made out and had a good time together… I'm taking that to the grave with me." Lindsay then looked at the camera wide-eyed, then nervously. "You can edit that out, right?"

"Yes we can," Chris said, smirking. "But we probably won't. Look, just don't tell anyone about the challenge, all right?" Lindsay just stood there smiling and nodding, zipping an imaginary zipper across her mouth. "Well, I'm sure you'd love to get some revenge on Heather, right?"

"Not this stupid dare again!" Chef yelled. "Can't you come up with something new?!"

"It's new to Lindsay," Chris said, getting irritated once more.

"But I don't want to get revenge on Heather," Lindsay said, looking worried. "She's nice now."

"I don't care," Chris said nonchalantly. "She's taking you in, anyway."

"Where's she taking me?" Lindsay said, excited. "I hope she takes me to the mall! I'd love to pick out a new pair of shoes for Heather!"

"Never mind!" Chris shouted, then handed Lindsay a sheet of paper. "Just read this script to Heather--no. Don't. Memorize it. Don't let Heather see the sheet of paper. Tell that stuff on the paper to Heather, and throw her in the pit of vomit we have set up near the Dock of Shame."

"Hey," Lindsay said, irritated reading the paper. "This is the same thing I said to Heather last year! That's like, word theft!"

"The contracts you all signed specifically allow me to plagiarize anything from you guys while on the show, so deal with it."

"Fine," Lindsay spat. "I'm not doing this, though. Heather's a good person now, and she doesn't deserve this! Hell, even if she were still as mean and cruel as she was last year, she wouldn't deserve this! What kind of sick, cruel, twisted ass are you?!"

"One that hopes to hell that your team loses and votes you off!" Chris screamed, then notices the camera. "I mean, it would be such a shame if your team found out you wimped out on the challenge and voted you off, ha ha!" Chris then turns to Chef. "We can edit that other part out later."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Oops, I cannot remember whether or not I edited Chris' outburst out. (Chef puts his hands on his cheeks.) Good golly gee, I hope that footage does not get out.

* * *

"Noah!" Chris exclaimed, as Chef dropped him off before Chris. "So good to see you, Noah."

"That makes one of us," Noah said, irritated. "I was really hoping I could sleep in today. Lindsay was making so much racket last night, I couldn't fall asleep."

"Not my problem," Chris said, holding up his hand. "Today, you will be participating in a top secret challenge."

"Be still my bleeding heart."

"Look, Noah. Can't you at least pretend to be interested.?"

"No."

"OK, look," Chris said, irritated. "First of all, if you tell anyone else about the challenge, your team will automatically lose."

"Won't we all figure it out eventually, though, if we're all doing one?"

"Poor, poor, Noah," Chris said, patting Noah's head.

"Don't do that," Noah said, throwing Chris' hand down.

"You seriously overestimate these guys' intelligence."

"Seriously, they're pretty stupid, but they're not **that **stupid," Noah shot back. "Except maybe Lindsay."

"Look," Chris said, handing Noah a sheet of paper. "All you have to do to earn a point for your team is to read this script to Katie. I know you like her, so it'll be difficult--"

"I don't like her," Noah said flatly. "She's an annoying motor mouth."

"Yes she is," Chris said, smirking. "You still like her."

"I do not!" Noah screamed.

"Touchy," Chris said, chuckling. "If you don't like her, then you can easily prove it by reading that script to her."

As Noah walked off, Chris turned to Chef. "Fifty bucks says that Noah doesn't do it."

"You're on, pretty boy," Chef said, smiling slightly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Not only do I not like Katie, but I despise her! She is the single most annoying person on the planet, and that's including Chris, Harold, and Lindsay!

* * *

"Noah!" Katie exclaimed, glomping Noah as he was walking up to her. "Where've ya' been, sleepy head?"

"Sleeping," Noah said, annoyed.

"Oh yeah, stupid question, sorry," Katie said, smiling, knocking on her head. "I'm a little ditzy sometimes."

"Or all the time."

"Come on, Noah," Katie said, rubbing her head on his arm, freaking Noah out. "Play nice."

"No!" Noah shouted. Katie shot up and backed up, looking frightened. "You and Sadie are the two stupidest people on the planet! None of the home viewers even like you two, because you annoy everybody! Me especially! I don't like you! I do not like you!"

Katie looked like she was about to cry, but then stormed off before any waterworks occurred. Noah just stared blankly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: I've been wanting to tell her off all season. Why did the moment not feel nearly as nice as I thought it would?

(Katie is sobbing uncontrollably.)  
Sadie: Be strong, Katie. You need to be strong! You're the strong one! (Sadie gives Katie a tight hug) How could Noah do this to you?

Chris: Darn it, Noah! I'm out fifty bucks!

* * *

"Owen, my man!" Chris high-fived Owen after Chef brought Owen to the area, bribing him with a moldy doughnut. "That's seriously scary, dude, but whatever, 'cause it's challenge time!"

"Challenge me baby, all right!" Owen exclaimed.

"But you need to be low-key about this one, because it's a secret challenge."

"Challenge me baby, all right," Owen whispered.

"Good," Chris said, smirking, "because if you tell anyone about it, your team automatically loses the secret challenge."

"Can I scream really loud if someone says it, though?"

"Eh, sure. Why not? Anyway, I had a lot of trouble thinking of a good challenge for you--"

"He was planning on having you toss Heather into the vomit vat. Again," Chef said, glaring at Chris, who looked uncomfortable.

"Anyway, after watching you all today, I came up with something better," Chris said, smirking, handing Owen a sheet of paper. "Ezekiel was trying to steal your girl, huh?"

"Yeah," Owen said, looking sad. "That kinda' hurt."

"Well, if you read that script to Ezekiel, you'll get your team a point!"

Owen looked nervous. "I dunno'…"

Chris smirked. "Would you do it for an Owen snack?"

"Um, that depends," Owen said, twiddling his fingers. "What's an Owen snack?"

"Fancy word for a dog biscuit."

"You've got a deal!" Owen exclaimed, shaking Chris' hand. Chris then tossed the dog biscuit to Owen, who caught it in his mouth.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: I keep the dog biscuits around for the interns. They seem to prefer them over Chef's food. Go figure.

* * *

Ezekiel was sitting on the steps of his cabin still, watching Bridgette talking with Courtney, and watching Izzy picking things out of Courtney's hair, much to her annoyance.

"You!" Owen shouted, walking up to Ezekiel. "What was yous doin' with my home slice girl?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: What did that even mean?

Owen: I don't even know what that meant, really.

* * *

"Huh?" Ezekiel asked, but was then picked up by Owen.

"You stay away from my girl Izz, or else!" Owen then attempted to throw him into the cabin, but he didn't even get Ezekiel through the door.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Owen: Yeah, my doctor says I need to work out more. Or work out, period. Or even just walk.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Courtney," Izzy said, "but I'll finish picking out the lice later."

"I don't have lice!" Courtney shouted as Izzy cart wheeled off. Bridgette just giggled.

"Owen, what was that for?!" Izzy yelled, then picked up Owen and threw him through the cabin door. After a few minutes of trying to pick himself up, Owen finally answered.

"Why were you making out with what's-his-name?"

"Zeke?" Izzy asked, cocking her head. "Oh, that. He's a nice boy. You should try making out with him sometime!"

"What?!" Owen shrieked. "Sorry baby, but I don't swing that way."

"Except for Justin," Izzy added nonchalantly. "I see how you stare at him."

"But he's hot!" Owen whined. "And he's so dreamy."

"Look, I like you, Owen. I like Zeke too. Izzy wants to have her cake and her other cake, too!"

"So," Owen said, twiddling his fingers. "Wanna' make out?"

Izzy then pounced Owen, as the two started going at it. Ezekiel watched for a moment, before shrinking away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: (on the left side) Oh my god, that was so adorable! (Izzy moves to the right.) Yeah, they're so sweet together. (Izzy moves back to the left.) But Ezekiel's such a nice guy too. (Izzy moves back to the right.) But Owen's more fun! Ezekiel needs to learn to let loose! (Izzy moves to the left again.) So how about you take Owen, and I'll have Ezekiel to myself. (Izzy moves to the right again.) That's so sweet of you! You're the smartest person in the whole wide world! (Izzy moves back to the left side once more.) I know! (Izzy moves to the center of the outhouse, and violently shakes her upper body from the left to the right and back again.) Eeeiii!

* * *

"Let me go!" Heather, now cleaned up, with her wig on, screamed, right before Chef threw her to Chris' feet.

"I'm so happy you could make it," Chris said, smirking.

"What do you want?" Heather asked indignantly.

"I want to add drama to the show!" Chris exclaimed, smirking. "Just like you did last year."

Heather hung her head in shame. "I'm not like that anymore."

"Well, if you want to score a point for your team, you'll learn to be like that again." Chris handed Heather a sheet of paper. "We copied this from Gwen's diary. We all know that you love airing Gwen's dirty laundry to the world, so we're giving you a chance to do it again!"

Heather gave Chris a death glare. "You set me up, didn't you?"

"What?" Chris asked, feigning innocence.

"You had Leshawna throw me into that vat full of puke, didn't you?"

"Maybe," Chris said, smirking.

"You're going to pay for that," Heather said, narrowing her eyes.

"Regardless, if you tell anyone about the challenge, your team automatically loses."

"I'm pretty sure Gwen and loudmouth already know," Heather said, irritated.

"They're not that smart," Chris said flatly. "Look, just read the page to a bunch of other campers, and you'll earn a point for your team."

Heather stared angrily at Chris before answering calmly. "No." Heather then walked off, glaring at Chris.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Now Leshawna's diary might have been a bit more tempting. (Heather winks for the camera.)

Chris: Seriously, I don't get how Heather could pass up this opportunity. I thought the whack-job was all about smiting her enemies.

* * *

"So, Tyler," Chris said, as Tyler was standing before him, "you get a point if you break up with Lindsay, telling her what an idiot she is, and how she's the stupidest person who ever lived and ever will live, and how even a baby has--"

Chris was cut short from a punch to the face. Tyler was seething with rage, hearing Chris rag on about his girlfriend. "No point for you," Chris said, hurt. Next!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (rubbing his face) Least it's better than another kick to the nether regions. Oh….

* * *

"Trent," Chris said, with a diabolical smile on his face. "This is your lucky day, for you will get a point for your team if you break up with Gwen!"

"What?" Trent asked, nervous. "I couldn't do that. I love Gwen! She's the world to me."

"I know," Chris said, smirking. "That's what's going to make this rock! Just break up with Gwen, tell her how stupid her green hair looks, how she's a freaky vampire who's afraid of getting a little sun, how she enjoys killing people in her spare time, since all goths do that, sacrificing them to her old gods alongside a freaky girl named, I don't know, Mandy, and how--"

Once again, Chris was cut short as Trent punched him in the face. "No one talks about Gwen like that," Trent stated coldly, glaring at Chris, who stepped back in fear.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: These people are really scaring me today. Don't really get why everyone keeps trying to cause me bodily harm. My fans don't want to see my face get ruined.

* * *

"Cody!" Chris shouted, startling the boy to attention. "You're puny and weak. I like that. You get a point for your team if you break up with Beth--"

"But I'm not going out with her," Cody said, confused.

"Hush, my child," Chris said, annoyed. "Anyway, you must tell Beth how desperate she is, how she'll buy into anything, believe everything anyone tells her, and tell her that she's the most hideous being on the entire planet."

Cody blinked for a moment, then punched Chris in the face, though he was more injured than Chris was, holding his hand in pain. "You hit like a girl!" Chris taunted. An irritated Chef then punched Chris.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Nothin' wrong with bein' ugly! Builds character! Not that I would know, of course.

* * *

"Harold," Chris said, smirking deviously, "you will earn a point for your team if you kick Courtney there." Chris was pointing to his privates.

"But she's a girl. She'll kill me right after I do it."

"Don't care. Just go forth and prosper, young Padawan."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Harold's going to get a fun lesson in female anatomy. We're trying to get that e/i rating when the show airs in America this year.

* * *

"You really shouldn't stay mad at Sheila," Lindsay said to Courtney, standing near the campfire area. "She's desperately trying to make up."

"But she threw apples at me!" Courtney exclaimed.

"She's been apologizing, though. What else can she do?"

"Nothing!" Courtney shouted. "I just want her to leave me alone! She's just an annoying idiot."

Lindsay looked upset with her friend. "That's not a very nice thing to say."

"But it's true."

"I'm not really the smartest person myself," Lindsay said, sitting down, putting her head in her hands, starting to tear up. "I like seeing others happy, though. Even if I'm failing school, if I can make someone's life a little easier, I'll help. Sadie wants you to be happy."

"Then she should leave me alone," Courtney said, unsure of herself.

"She feels terrible about the apple thing," Lindsay said, drawing with her finger on the ground. "She's trying so hard to be nice, and you keep shooting her down. Like with Har--" Lindsay stopped herself, not wanting to bring that up at the moment, and put on a fake smile. "Ha ha! Funny joke, ha ha?" Courtney looked at her suspiciously. "You were hurting, too. You needed someone to talk to, and listen to you. You were so yelly last year, but I could see you were hurting. No one really liked you. You really needed a friend to help calm you, and I needed a friend to guide me. That's why I wanted to be friends." Lindsay smiled at her friend. "Think you can forgive Samantha?"

Courtney's mouth was agape, and it took her a while to collect her thoughts. "That was… what… but you're--"

"Stupid," Lindsay said, still smiling. "I know. I'm not smart, but I know hurt when I see it." Lindsay stood back up and gave Courtney a gentle hug, and Courtney hugged back.

"Let's find Sadie," Courtney said, smiling brightly… at least until Harold snuck up on her and kicked her in her private area, causing her to reel, falling to the ground in pain.

"Kumar!" Lindsay shouted. "What did you do that for?!"

"Gosh," Harold said, surprised. "I thought she was a girl."

"I am a girl!" Courtney shouted. "Did you think we had steel plates there, or something?!"

"Yes," Harold said, shrugging. "Well, you deserved it!"

"That's not very nice," Lindsay said, annoyed.

"Nice to see your brainless pawn taking up for you," Harold said, smirking, until Lindsay kicked him there, sending Harold to the ground in even more pain.

"I'm her friend! She's a good person!" Lindsay shouted, then helped Lindsay up as the two started walking away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: What is that guy's problem? I mean, not his problem with me, though I'd still like to know that too, but what did Lindsay ever do to him?!

Lindsay: OK, getting Courtney to be friends with Kumar is going to be harder than getting Courtney to be friends with Shelly. I'm not even too fond of him right now.

* * *

"Beth!" Chris exclaimed, "you can earn a point for your team by reading this script while tossing Heather into a vomit pit we've conveniently set up near the Dock of Shame."

"Heather doesn't really deserve that, though. I mean, she's mean, but she hasn't done anything yet."

"Your point?" Chris asked, annoyed.

Beth scratched her head. "Well, Mom always said that when someone does something mean to turn the other cheek, and that revenge is wrong, even if someone really hurts you. And Heather hasn't even done anything yet, so that makes it even more wrong."

"But she's evil incarnate!" Chris exclaimed, waving his hands in the air.

"She's still a human being, though, and deserves to be treated with respect. At least a little bit of respect."

"If that's going to be your attitude, then fine," Chris said, annoyed, crossing his arms.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: OK, so the score is 5 to 2, in the Screaming Pansies favor. So yeah, the Screaming Pansies have won. Again. The Killer Chrises may not be able to catch up, but they don't have to know that, am I right?

* * *

"Eva!" Chris exclaimed, earning himself a scowl from the fitness buff. "OK," Chris said, backing up a bit.

"What do you want?" Eva snarled.

"It's time for your secret challenge!" Chris exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. "But if you tell anyone about the secret challenge, your team automatically loses, so make sure you keep it a secret."

"Not a problem," Eva said, angry still.

"All you have to do to get your team a point is… well," Chris said, smirking, "you have to do some stuff to Ezekiel."

"Stuff?" Eva asked raising an eyebrow. "Like, pummel him?"

"Not exactly," Chris said, signaling for an intern to come over. "More like 'make out with him' sort of stuff."

"What?!" Eva shrieked. "That home-school pig?! Never! How **dare **you--" Eva was cut short as a tranquilizer dart hit her arm. "How dare…" Eva fell asleep to the ground before she could finish.

"No point from Eva, I guess," Chris said, shrugging.

"Did it matter, anyway?" Chef asked, confused.

"No, no it didn't. Get me the final contestant, Chef."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: Make out with that jerk?! He's a miserable little person who brought shame to all his family and friends! Why would I want to make out with him?! Err… not that I want to make out with anyone, mind you.

* * *

Courtney was walking up to Sadie, with Lindsay following her. "Sadie," Courtney said, looking nervous.

"Yes," Sadie said, looking happy to see her.

"I'm sorry that--" Courtney started, but Sadie glomped her upon hearing the word "sorry."

"Thank you," Sadie said, smiling, and tearing up a bit. "I'm sorry too, that I was throwing--"

"You've apologized enough," Courtney said, smiling. "Really, how many times should you really have to apologize?"

"I was worried you might hate me forever."

Courtney smiled at Sadie. "I have trouble with forgiveness. It's my only fault, of course." Lindsay giggled at that. "Well it is!" They were interrupted as Katie was walking up, sobbing uncontrollably. Sadie looked worried.

"What's wrong, Katie?"

"Noah," Katie let out while sobbing, wrapping herself around Sadie. Courtney looked in shock, backing up a bit. "Noah yelled at me, and said we were stupid and annoying, and no one likes us."

"He did? Noah?" Sadie asked, surprised. Courtney slapped her face.

"Chris, you're dead! Do you hear me?!" Courtney shouted to the sky, waving a fist.

"I'm pretty sure she said Noel did it, not Kyle," Lindsay said, confused.

"I thought Noah liked us," Katie cried. "I guess I was wrong."

"I'm sorry, Katie," Courtney said, wiping a tear from her eye, and went over to hug Katie along with Sadie.

"Group hug," Lindsay said, also wiping a tear from her eye, and joined in.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Wait… was Courtney hugging me back there?  
Sadie: Yes!  
Katie: Ugh, I feel so dirty now.  
Sadie: Oh, don't worry. She apologized. She's nice again.  
Katie: She didn't apologize.  
Sadie: You weren't there. But she didn't yell at you and say you deserved Noah being mean to you, right?  
Katie: I guess.  
Sadie: She feels bad about it, really.

* * *

Chef interrupted the group hug by yanking Katie away, causing Sadie to cry. "Not Katie! Please not Katie!"

"I hope Katie figures it out," Courtney said, knowing, with her hands on her hips.

"Figure what out?" Lindsay asked, wide-eyed.

"Yeah," Sadie agreed. "I don't really get what you mean, either."

"Err," Courtney said, being careful of her words, "let's find Noah."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Figures what out? Really, I'm confused.

* * *

"Katie!" Chris exclaimed, as Chef set the crying girl in front of the sadistic host. "I'm so glad you could make it. It's time for your secret challenge, so don't tell anyone, or your team automatically loses."

"OK," Katie cried out.

Chris handed Katie a basket of apples. "You'd like to get some revenge on Courtney, right?"

"Not really," Katie said, letting out a bit of a smile.

"Wait, why not? Think about how mean and cruel and nasty she was to your friend last season!"

"They made up," Katie said, smiling more brightly, though still crying. "And she was worried about me after Noah did some--" Katie stopped herself after noticing an evil smirk on Chris' face. "Why am I tell you, anyway?"

"Regardless," Chris said, "if you want a point for your team, you need to throw these apples at Courtney's head."

"No. I--" Katie stopped herself short, and was starting to put two and two together, then gave a death glare at Chris. "Wait a minute. **You **did this, didn't you?!"

"Um… what?" Chris asked, confused.

"You told Noah to yell at me, and say all those mean and nasty things, didn't you?!" Katie shrieked, throwing her arms into the air.

"No," Chris lied.

"Yes you did! How stupid do you think I am?!"

"A lot," Chris said, smirking. "Probably almost as stupid as Lindsay and Bridgette."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Where did pretty boy get the idea that Bridgette was stupid, anyway?

Sadie: You really would've thunk Chris would've learned his lesson about Katie after the monster truck rally.  
Katie: And he has the nerve to call **us **stupid? Pfft. Please.

* * *

Katie was seething with rage. "You did this!"

"No," Chris said, "I'm innocent! I didn't do--"

"**Quiet!**" barked Katie into a megaphone right in Chris' ear that she just whipped out, sending Chris straight through a tree. Katie took it from her mouth and started rubbing it. "Knew this thing would come in handy."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: I could have sworn I got rid of those stupid things.

* * *

"Why did you do it, Noah?" Sadie pleaded with Noah, crying, with Courtney and Lindsay looking intimidating behind her. Or at least trying to look intimidating in Lindsay's case.

"I had my reasons," Noah said, crossing his arms. "Secret reasons."

"We all know about the secret thing," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.

"We do?" Lindsay asked, confused, scratching her head.

"You wanted to say those things, though, didn't you?" Courtney asked, narrowing her eyes.

"What do you care?" Noah shot back. "You don't like her, either."

"Well, no, not really," Courtney said, "but she didn't deserve that!"

"I'll try to make you two friends," Sadie said, smiling at Courtney, who let out a small smile in return.

Katie was walking up to Sadie, but flinched when she saw Noah. She gave her friend a hug, then turned to Courtney. "I'm sorry, Courtney."

"Sorry for what?" Courtney asked, confused.

"Well, I was being mean, and you and Sadie made up, so it's time I stopped being mean," Katie said, trying to smile, but couldn't, and then turned to Noah, looking none-too-happy. "I know what you did."

"What?" Noah asked. "I have no idea--"

"Save it," Katie said, irritated. "I know why you did it, even though I'm not allowed to directly say it else I risk team forfeiture, but I know why you did it. It still really hurt. You really meant those things, didn't you?"

"I was just doing what I was supposed to be doing."

"And enjoying it," Katie said softly, digging her head into Sadie's arms. "You were enjoying it."

"I'm sorry, OK?" Noah spat out. "Happy now?"

"No," Katie said, crying into Sadie. "You really, really, really hurt me."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Was it really that bad? Was it really such a terrible thing, trying to help our team win? I mean, they got mad when I did nothing in last year's dodge ball challenge, and this year, they got mad when I did exactly what I was supposed to do for the challenge! I did nothing wrong. (Noah looks down for a while, then sighs.) I'm sorry, Katie.

* * *

"Campers," Chris said, smirking in front of the cabins, with the nineteen campers gathered around. "By this point, you have all been given your secret challenges."

"Wait," Lindsay asked, confused, "you mean other people got them, too?"

"Smart one," Chris spat. "Anyway, the Killer Chrises have earned two points for their team, while the Screaming Pansies have earned five points, making the Screaming Pansies, once again, the winners! And showing that the Screaming Pansies have fewer morals than the Killer Chrises, I guess."

No one was cheering, though many of the contestants who went through with their challenges were looking guilty, save for Justin, Courtney, and Izzy. Izzy then decided to sneak off into the forest.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Fewer morals? I didn't really get that. It felt really nice making out with Ezekiel like that.

Courtney: Harold deserved it! It's not just me, but Sadie and Lindsay? That guy's got some serious problems.

* * *

"Beth," Justin called out, walking over to her, "you know I didn't really mean that stuff I said earlier." Beth looked at him suspiciously. "I just wanted to win this challenge so uh, I could make sure that no one could vote you off tonight."

"Aww," Beth said, hugging Justin. "That was so sweet of you!" Justin smiled deviously.

Not far away, Noah was approaching Bridgette. "Bridgette," Noah said nervously.

"I heard about what you did," Bridgette said, looking none-too-happy with Noah.

"Yeah," Noah said, rubbing the back of his head. "Look, you're probably the only sort of intelligent person here who is actually nice, so I was hoping you could help me." Bridgette was still looking upset. "I did something stupid. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be the smart guy who knows everything, but I did something stupid."

"I'll say," Bridgette said irritated, blowing at her bangs.

"Can you help me… well…"

"Apologize?" Bridgette asked.

"Well, yeah," Noah said. "I hate that word."

Bridgette shrugged. "We can try."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: It'll work this time. Beth is gone. Good riddance.

Noah: Justin said I was going to be voted off unless I agreed to vote for Beth, saying that everyone hated me. I didn't really buy that, but still….

Sadie: Noah. Definitely Noah.  
Katie: No, not Noah.  
Sadie: Wait, not Noah? But he was mean to you.  
Katie: I know. Still, I just… can't.

Beth: I don't really know who to vote for. Gwen is kinda' mean sometimes, though.

Courtney: Gee, this is tough. I mean, I don't really like Gwen that much, but Lindsay really thinks it would be good to try to get along with her, and she's still hoping that Gwen and Heather can get along, so I'm sorry Beth, but you're going home.

* * *

"Campers," Chris stated, holding a plate of marshmallows. "You guys are pathetic. This is four challenges in a row that you have lost. What's wrong with you guys? Seriously!"

"Having morals?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. "I wouldn't say that's a bad thing."

"Nevertheless," Chris continued, ignoring Gwen's point, "I have only seven marshmallows on this plate. The one of you who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame, where you will board the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back. Ever. When I call your name, please come up and collect your marshmallow."

"Eva."

"Bridgette."

"Katie and Sadie."

"Justin."

"Noah."

Noah looked surprised to hear his name mentioned so soon, but walked up to collect his marshmallow, anyway. Beth and Gwen looked at each other nervously. "Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the night. And let me tell you, this one was a nail biter. We actually had our first ever tie tonight, so we had to go to a tiebreaker. We randomly selected one member of the other team to break the tie, and vote for one of you two." Chris then started to look a bit irritated, and started talking more quickly. "Oh, and it was Courtney, so if you don't like the results, get mad at her, and not me." Gwen looked especially nervous at the mention of Courtney breaking the tie. Chris then returned to his standard dramatic demeanor. "Anyway, the final marshmallow of the night goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Gwen."

Gwen looked majorly relieved, though she still felt bad for Beth. "I'm sorry Beth. You played a good game. You get to relax at that resort now, anyway."

"You guys aren't supposed to know about the resort," Chris whined.

"What, did you think we'd just forget it existed after last year?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

Gwen rolled her eyes, then hugged Beth. "Good luck you guys!" Beth exclaimed as she was headed for the Boat of Losers. "I'll be rooting for you, Justin!" Justin looked irritated by the comment, which Gwen noticed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: OK, why did Courtney save me? She kind of seemed like she was mad at me. I swear, I don't understand her at all, but I guess I should thank her, still. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Justin has something to do with Beth's getting kicked off tonight.

* * *

The Boat of Losers dropped off Beth at the Playa' des Losers, and DJ was waiting on the dock to greet her.

"Hey Beth!" DJ said, giving her a hug.

"Thanks," Beth said, smiling.

"How about I take you inside?" DJ asked, as he took Beth's hand and led her inside.

* * *

"Ow! Izzy, what are you doing?!" Courtney asked, as she and Bridgette were being almost literally dragged by Izzy, who was taking them through the forest.

"It's a secret!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming at her friends. "Izzy doesn't want to spoil the surprise!"

"Izzy wouldn't hurt us," Bridgette tried assuring Courtney. "At least, I don't think."

"She's Izzy," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "Does anyone really know what she's capable of?"

"We're here!" Izzy exclaimed, as she pushed Courtney and Bridgette to a well-lit area, with a couple of tables, and some delicious-smelling food. As well as--

"Duncan!" Courtney exclaimed, as she glomped the punk, who was standing next to one of the tables, knocking the guy down, and starting to make out there on the ground.

"Geoff!" Bridgette likewise exclaimed, and glomped her guy as well, also knocking him to the down, though accidentally hitting his head on the table in the process. "Oops. Sorry." Bridgette smiled sweetly and kissed the spot where he was hurt.

"It's no big," Geoff said, rubbing his head.

"You guys have fun!" Izzy exclaimed, as she leapt away, though none of the others were really paying much attention to her.

"Where does that girl get this food from, anyway?" Courtney asked, picking herself up to sit at the table, looking longingly at her lobster.

"The Playa' des Losers," Duncan said, shrugging while seating himself with a plate of pizza before him. "She was there earlier stealing some spaghetti as well." Duncan then turned to Geoff. "Geoff would know."

"She's making up for that now," Geoff said, downing his hamburgers quickly. "I don't know why she was trying to hook you and home school up though, babe."

Bridgette was playing with her fork in the all-lettuce salad in front of her. "She was trying to be nice. Izzy's just… different. Though I wish she could serve something other than the world's most boring salad."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: No spaghetti, because it touched a fork which touched a plate which touched a jellybean that touched meat. Then no salad, because it's boring. Izzy needs to find out what Bridgette does like. Izzy thought vegetarians liked boring old salads. Still, three for four isn't bad.

* * *

"Duncan," Courtney said, holding her fork with a chunk of lobster on it, "why have you been bothering Bridgette?" Bridgette looked embarrassed hearing Courtney's question.

"She's got Geoff whipped," Duncan stated flatly, thinking nothing of it. Bridgette hid her head in shame.

"Uh, Bridge?" Geoff asked, "would you like to take a walk, or something?"

"Yes," Bridgette answered softly, as the two walked farther into the forest.

"Not too far, you guys!" Izzy shouted, though no one could see from where. "I'll need to take you back later, Geoff!"

After Duncan and Courtney stared in the direction they'd walked off into for a while, Courtney finally spoke up. "Geoff needs to be whipped into shape. I mean, he's always wanting to party, and Bridgette needs him to behave a bit more seriously."

"He needs to be his own man," Duncan said, smirking. "Besides, you're one to talk about me picking on Bridgette."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Courtney asked indignantly.

"Well, you don't exactly like Harold--"

"Neither do you!"

"You also don't like Gwen."

"But--" Courtney started, but stopped herself short, looking really irritated, crossing her arms.

"You're jealous," Duncan said, smirking.

"I am not jealous!" Courtney shouted. "I just don't want her hanging around you because she's trying to steal you away with her goth charms!"

"The very definition of jealousy," Duncan said. "Besides, she's hot."

"Urgh!" Courtney shrieked. "You are such a pig!"

"What? You're hot too."

"Make her stop hitting on you!"

"What?" Duncan asked, a little bit confused. "Look Princess, she hasn't been--"

"Make her stop!"

"All right, all right, geez. But Gwen's still hot."

"Stop it!" Courtney was holding herself back from punching Duncan.

Duncan started singing. "Gwen is so hot, Gwen is--" Duncan was punched down by Courtney, who started clawing at him for a few seconds, before suckling him all over, and the two were on each other hot and heavy.

"Second base," Izzy said to herself, watching from an unseen location.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Duncan: Gwen's hot, sure. I wouldn't really mind it if I could have two girlfriends, but hey, Courtney is so **hot **when she's jellin'! Really, what guy wouldn't want that!

Chris: What was Duncan doing here? What part of "can't come back **ever" **did he not understand? (Chris sighs to himself.) We'll do something about that. But what will happen in our next show? Can we come up with a challenge that's even more cruel than this one? We hope! It's great for ratings! But how will Cody react when he realizes Beth is gone tomorrow? Is Noah screwed? Is Gwen actually starting to get along with Heather? And are the Killer Chrises **ever **going to win a single challenge? Stay tuned for the answers to these questions and more, next time on _Total Drama Chris!_

* * *

Courtney was walking back to her cabin, her clothes not very neat, tired, and not even noticing a whole bunch of papers lying around outside her cabin. Bridgette, also tired, didn't notice the papers either when she returned.

* * *

**Votes**

Beth: Gwen  
Bridgette: Justin  
Eva: Beth  
Gwen: Noah  
Justin: Beth  
Katie: Gwen  
Noah: Beth  
Sadie: Gwen  
Tiebreaker (Courtney): Beth

Beth: 3 (4)  
Gwen: 3  
Noah: 1  
Justin: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth

Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Eva, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Noah, Sadie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Tyler, Trent

* * *

Seriously, it just seems inevitable that a tie has to happen eventually. Have no idea what the actual procedure might be for the actual show, or if the show writers even ever thought of such a possibility, but I liked this idea, anyway. Trent as the random tiebreaker person would've been boring, though. Went for someone else.

And told ya' guys Duncan would be back. Maybe not competing, but he's still in the story, anyway.

Beth doesn't have too many fans out there, though… I ought to be safe this week from many "OMG how could you!"-type rants. The whole Cody-Justin drama is more important than Beth's presence, though. We're not completely through with Beth yet, still.


	9. Day 5, Part 1: Disguise and Videotape

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 9: Day 5: Part 1: Secrets, Disguise, and Videotape**

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame at night, which was covered in papers. Chris picked one up. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _we tested the campers' morals by coming up with a rather cruel challenge for them to partake in. Some friends were made. Bridgette and Home School… who'd have thunk it? Courtney **finally **seemed to forgive Sadie for the whole 'throwing apples at her' thing. Gwen and Heather even bonded a little. Don't really see that lasting, though."

"Enemies were also made. Noah thought he'd be happy after finally telling Katie off, but it turns out the guy's more weak-minded than anyone could've guessed. Leshawna's anger issues are also getting on people's nerves, tossing Heather into a vat full of disgusting vomit not just once, but twice, not even for any real reason the second time. Will they finally have had enough of her, or will they find her anger justified?"

"And of course, we found out that Izzy's been sneaking into the Playa' des Losers. We don't really know how she figured out how to get there, but we're going to need to put a stop to that. And a stop to the lame 'letting her friends spend time with their kicked-off boyfriends' thing she did. Seriously, that's not very considerate of her. I'd be more angry if Duncan weren't good for ratings… still don't get why the girls all love him so much more than they love me. I have a dark side too, ladies! So what's going to happen now? Who's still angry from yesterday's events? And what's the deal with all these papers someone left lying around? Stay tuned for these answers, as well the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, coming up now on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

"_Mom, I don't think I can do this," Heather said, sans hair, in a pretty short pink dress._

"_I thought you were excited that a boy actually asked you to go with him," Heather's Mother said reassuringly._

"_I know," Heather smiled. "It's just that… well, everyone else has been so mean to me at school. I don't exactly rule the place with an iron fist now."_

"_It's not exactly bad that those days are over. It's just that… well, it's gone from one extreme to the other. Kids are cruel, but you should really have fun."_

"_Thanks Mom," Heather said, hugging her Mother, then kissing her on the cheek before getting out of the car._

_Inside the dance hall, Heather was looking around for her date, but couldn't find him, but was only successful in getting rude looks and comments. After a while, she gave up the search and sat in a chair near the exit, with her head in her hands, looking notably depressed. After a few minutes, Heather saw her date enter the room, but with another girl. The girl who was one of Heather's best friend last year. The two walked up to Heather._

"_Sorry, Heather," Jewel said. "No hard feelings, 'K? Just that we don't really like you very much." Jewel took out her camera, and took a shot of Heather sitting there, looking miserable. "This'll look great! Thanks, 'K?" Jewel and her man started making out right in front of Heather, with Jewel keeping an eye on Heather paying attention._

_Heather was starting to get up and leave, when her old friend from middle school called out to her. "Hey, Heather!" Taylor called out. Heather smiled to see her old friend, who she dumped years ago._

"_Taylor!" Heather exclaimed, giving her friend a hug. "I thought you… I mean… I'm sorry that I--"_

"_It's OK," Taylor said, smiling. "You looked lonely over here, though. Thought you might like to dance."_

"_But I called you a… well…"_

"_Lesbian whore. I know."_

"_But you're not worried about everyone calling you that again if you dance with me?" Heather asked nervously._

"_No, not really," Taylor smiled, taking Heather's hand, taking her onto the dance floor during a fast song, as Taylor started grooving to the music. Heather just watched for a minute, then slowly joined in, and had fun dancing with her old friend. Until someone threw a cup of punch on Heather._

_Various people there were shouting "you suck" and "go home loser" as well as meaner things regarding a secret crush on Taylor. Then Taylor--_

* * *

"Heather," Courtney said nervously, waking Heather from a sound sleep, with Lindsay watching, looking nervous.

"Huh?" Heather asked, not fully awake yet, lifting her head. "Breakfast time already?"

"We have a problem," Courtney said, looking worried. "A big problem."

"Greta's like mad for some reason," Lindsay said nervously.

"Apparently, someone's plastered these all over the campground last night," Courtney said, handing Heather a sheet of paper. Heather's anger grew as she continued reading.

"And I guess Gwen thinks I did this," Heather said, crumpling up the sheet of paper. "This is exactly the stuff I was supposed to read for that stupid secret challenge of Chris'. Except that this is handwritten."

"You didn't do this, right?" Courtney asked. "I mean, I don't want you to take that question the wrong way--"

"I didn't do it," Heather stated coldly.

"OK. I just wanted to make sure," Courtney said. "Someone's out for blood, though."

"Maybe someone's just mad at Greta," Lindsay said, trying to be helpful.

"No," Heather said. "Someone's out for me."

"I'd bet Leshawna did it," Courtney stated flatly. "We know how much she despises you."

"She's close friends with Gwen, though," Heather said. "She wouldn't do that to Gwen."

"True. Still, I wouldn't put it past her. Or Harold."

"Why would Henry do this?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"He likes ruining lives," Courtney said, looking dead serious.

"He's not really that bad," Heather said. "I mean, I know he says he's a lone wolf, but I think you guys really bothered him last year."

"You guys?" Courtney asked, blinking in astonishment before getting defensive. "But Duncan was the only one who did anything!"

Heather was changing out of her nightwear and into her normal clothes, getting ready to face Gwen outside. "Geoff and DJ were picking on him, too. And you were kind of--"

"I did not touch him! I mean, at least not until after he had me voted off! I was completely innocent, though!"

"You told him you didn't care if he died during the dodge ball challenge, when you were waking up Duncan. That's harsh."

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Well, he **is **useless."

"And then he won the challenge for your team," Heather said, smirking.

"He got lucky," Courtney said, closing her eyes and crossing her arms.

"I guess I have to do this," Heather said, ready to exit the cabin, then looked to her friends, worried. "I don't suppose I have any supporters out there. You two really believe I'm innocent?" Heather looked hopeful at her friends.

"I wanted to get your side, but I could see how much you wanted to make up with Gwen," Courtney said, smiling. "You wouldn't have done this."

"My brain said no one else would do this to Gail," Lindsay said, playing with her hair, "but my brain is wrong. Stupid and wrong. You didn't do this." Lindsay started crying a bit before going up to give Heather a light hug.

"Izzy wants to believe you as well," Courtney said, smiling. "She's… well, 'Kaleidoscope' is investigating to figure out who is trying to frame you. She figured she would be more help out in the field than staying with you."

"E-Scope's not good with these touchy feely things," Lindsay said.

"Bridgette's feeling torn, and wants to believe you, but feels a greater need to support Gwen right now. And I didn't talk to Harold."

"No one else likes you, though," Lindsay said, crying, giving Heather another hug.

"Well, here it goes," Heather said, gulping, as she opened the door and walked out the cabin, with Courtney and Lindsay in tow. Gwen was waiting a few feet away, staring ominously. The other campers, minus Izzy and Harold, were also staring, most of who were not looking happy. Bridgette was looking more worried, though, and Sadie was crying on Katie's shoulder.

"You!" Leshawna shouted, rushing up to Heather, picking her up, and throwing the now-screaming girl onto the ground. "You did this!" Heather looked terrified, while Lindsay was trying to hold Courtney back from attacking Leshawna herself.

"Leshawna," Gwen said. "Not like this."

Leshawna glared daggers toward Heather. "Watch your back," she stated, as she stepped back down over to Gwen, while Lindsay was still desperately holding on to Courtney's right arm, as Courtney was trying to scratch in Leshawna's direction with her left.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: I knew it was only a matter of time before Heather struck. Still, I didn't want Leshawna to kill Heather. Besides, there are worse things we could do that would be way less illegal! (Gwen starts rubbing her hands together.)

Courtney: Leshawna did this. It's the only possible explanation! Pretending to be all high and mighty, sticking up for her friend like that, when she was the one who plastered Gwen's diary page everyone in the first place! Is everyone else blind?!

* * *

"Katie," Noah said to Katie, who still had Sadie holding on to her, though neither girl acknowledged Noah. "Come on Katie!" Noah whined. "Why do you have to be so stupid?" Bridgette, nearby, slapped Noah in the back of his head. "Now what was that for?"

"That wasn't very nice," Bridgette said sternly.

"I don't do nice," Noah said, irritated. "It's not in my nature to do nice."

"You need to apologize."

"Also not in my nature. It was just for the challenge. Our team needed to win!"

"And you're still here, even though we lost," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, it wasn't worth it."

"And she's annoying!" Noah shouted. "Why do you think everyone wants her gone?!"

"You know I can hear every word you're saying," Katie said, turning to Noah, looking upset, then caught herself. "I mean, Bridgette, tell Noah that I'm not talking to him." Katie turned back away from Noah.

"You have a lousy way of apologizing, Noah," Bridgette said, irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Come on! Everyone knows how annoying Katie and Sadie are! Seriously, I don't know why they ever thought I was their best friend, or why they always bugged me when there were other people here they could be bothering.

Katie: Noah used to be so nice last year… he never liked me though, did he? (Katie tears up.)

* * *

Bridgette walked over to Courtney, Lindsay, and Heather later, after the crowd dispersed. "So… pretty heavy stuff here."

"Izzy's trying to find out who did this," Courtney said flatly. "Even though it was obviously Leshawna."

"Really?" Bridgette asked, surprised. "Leshawna wouldn't do that to Gwen, though. Justin's pretty mean, though." Heather smiled, realizing that Bridgette might be believing that she was innocent. "Or Heather might be taking us all for fools." Heather's smile went away.

"Heather didn't do it," Lindsay said, looking down.

"But you're not really the best judge of character," Bridgette said. "I mean, she had you fooled for a long time last year."

"I was stupid," Lindsay said. "And I'm still stupid, but I'm listening to my heart now. Deep down, I knew that Heather was a mean, rotten, cruel, bully of a girl, but I didn't listen. I followed my brain, which told me Heather was my friend. But this time, deep down, I know she's changed."

Bridgette smiled and walked over to Lindsay, putting an arm around her. "That was pretty deep."

"Thank you Bridgette," Lindsay said, smiling back.

"You got my name right," Bridgette said, excited. "And so you're a little ditzy. You've really got emotional intelligence, though."

"Thank you!" Lindsay beamed, then looked a little confused. "I think. I'm not sure what that is, but it sounded nice."

"You can always support both Heather and Gwen," Courtney stated. "You don't have to pick sides."

"I'd be betraying Gwen, though," Bridgette said, sad. "I don't want to do that again."

"Again?" Courtney asked, confused, then started talking unusually chirpy. "Anyway, since Leshawna did this, you could easily support both Gwen and Heather, and help in my rally against Leshawna."

"Leshawna wouldn't do that," Bridgette said, putting her face in her palm.

"She's right, Courtney," Heather said. "Leshawna wouldn't hurt Gwen like that."

"Ah, but it's part of her grand master plan," Courtney announced, making dramatic gestures with her hands. "First, Leshawna's walking through the woods, and finds the sheet of paper that you threw to the ground. Then Leshawna makes a bunch of copies of the paper, and spreads them around the campground, knowing that everyone is going to blame you, and have you kicked off the island, and figures Gwen will remain none the wiser. And then, since I'm supporting you, she's going to kick me and Lindsay off. Or Izzy, if she's worried about Izzy finding evidence of her own nefarious doings."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: (staring confused into the camera) Courtney, you really, really need to relax a bit. You're going to drive yourself crazy.

* * *

"Courtney, there's no bizarre conspiracy like that, really," Bridgette said, trying to reassure her friend.

"It's not a conspiracy if only one person is involved," Courtney stated.

"Let's not get into semantics here," Bridgette said, a little annoyed.

"Leshawna wouldn't hurt Gwen. It's that simple," Heather said, looking sad. "She wouldn't hurt Gwen to get to me."

"Why does Lafawnda hate you so much, anyway?" Lindsay innocently asked.

"Heather was kind of mean to everyone last year," Bridgette said, then tried nervously assuring Heather. "I mean, I'm not trying to say you're still mean--"

"It's not that," Heather said, crying. "I'll admit that I was mean to you guys last year, and I understand why you all hated me. Except Leshawna… I really have no idea what I did to her to earn her wrath."

"Didn't you eat her food last year?" Bridgette said, trying to remember one of their arguments.

"Yes I did," Heather stated flatly. "She hated me from day one, though. I was terrified of that cliff, and she decided to yell at me and berate me, and physically throw me over!" Heather was getting angry thinking about it. "What the hell did I do to her?! She tried to kill me because her boyfriend was a perv, she tried to kill me when that sumo wrestler said I'd whomped him--"

"I don't remember that," Bridgette said, confused.

"They edited most of the stuff with her and me out of that episode," Heather said, still crying. "They were more interested in the drama with Courtney."

"I hated that episode," Courtney said, irritated.

"Gwen may not have liked me, but she didn't seem to like anyone else at first, either. Leshawna was like a bully picking out the one person who she was going to torment, and lucky me, she picked the one person everyone else hated as well, so no one else noticed or cared."

"I'm sorry," Courtney said, crying a little. "As a CIT, I really should have noticed."

"Well, we weren't on the same team," Heather said, smiling, though still crying a bit.

"Wow," Bridgette said in shock. "I always thought Leshawna seemed so nice."

"I did too last year," Courtney admitted. "She got along with everyone, she was absolutely a team player--"

"And I don't think she really wants me to change," Heather said, no longer smiling. "Still, she wouldn't hurt Gwen. They're practically BFFFLs, without the weird noise thing that Katie and Sadie do, at least."

"Speaking of them," Bridgette said, with her hands in her pockets, "Noah's miserable, and Katie's miserable, since Noah walked right into Chris' hands and told her off yesterday."

"That's sad," Lindsay said, trying to balance on one foot. "They seemed to get along so well at that resort last year."

"I've told Katie off before," Courtney said, shrugging. "I don't really see the big deal. She just yelled right back."

"That's different," Bridgette said, somewhat annoyed. "Katie knew you didn't like her. She thought Noah was her best friend outside of Sadie, though."

"She'll probably forget in a few days," Courtney said, being serious. "She doesn't exactly have much going on upstairs." Lindsay looked sad after Courtney finished, which Courtney noticed. "I mean, you're nice, Lindsay, but Katie's, well, less nice."

"I wish you wouldn't call her stupid," Lindsay said, looking sweet. "I know what it feels like."

"She's actually pretty intelligent," Bridgette said, giggling a little, though was met with blank stares from Lindsay and Courtney. "Really, she just saves it for school. She liked giving her mind a rest and just having fun with Sadie last year."

"I'm trying to relax and have fun this year," Courtney said, looking determined.

"Then you should probably lay off the conspiracy theories," Bridgette said, smiling. "And the semantics. I wish Noah would just apologize to Katie."

"It'd make him feel better," Heather said, not crying for the moment. "I kind of feel like it's lifted a weight off my shoulders."

"Yeah," Lindsay said, perking up, "Nolan probably can't handle so much weight. He's not very big."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (looking down) That was stupid, wasn't it?

* * *

Izzy came to see the group, not looking too happy. "I'm sorry, guys, but there's footage that's missing."

"Who's missing their feet?" Lindsay asked. "I wouldn't be able to wear my boots if I lost my feet."

"Someone doesn't want Kaleidoscope to find the truth," Izzy complained. "I think Chris doesn't want Heather's name cleared."

"He has been complaining that I haven't brought enough drama this year," Heather said, then sighed.

"Do you think Chris might've done this?" Bridgette asked, looking worried.

"Actually, I think it was--"

"We **know **you think it was Leshawna," Bridgette said, irritated. "Courtney, I wish you'd get off that kick. Leshawna's not like that."

"I know who did it: Red Herring!" Izzy proclaimed, raising her arms upward. Everyone else looked confused.

"Does anyone have any remote idea who she's talking about?" Courtney asked, blinking.

"I'm pretty sure that's a fish," Lindsay said, looking confused as ever.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Seriously, Chris, getting rid of the videotape evidence that would prove Leshawna's guilt? If I actually had any respect for you in the first place, I would've lost it.

* * *

"Campers!" Chris shouted in front of the cabins, with several boxes behind him, and the campers gathered in front of him. "It's time for today's challenge, and after that admittedly cruel challenge you guys just did--at least some of you--I thought we could do something a little more lighthearted today. Courtney!" Chris exclaimed, pointing to the grey-clad girl. "You like leading and everything, so you can go first!" Courtney walked over to Chris, looking nervous, as Chris held out a bag. "Now, I want you to reach into this bag, and pull out one of the slips of paper inside." Courtney reached in, worried about what might be in the bag, but was relieved when it seemed to, indeed, contain nothing more than paper, and she wound up pulling out one of the slips, and reading what was on the paper.

"Lindsay," Courtney said, confused. "What does that mean? Are we like partners for this challenge?"

"Yay!" Lindsay exclaimed! "I get to be your partner!" Lindsay then looked to Heather, who looked far more confused than Lindsay did. "I'm sorry, Heather. Maybe next time."

"That's not exactly what that means," Chris said, smirking, as he dug into the boxes behind him, pulling out a skimpy red and brown top, blue bandanna, orange miniskirt, and cowboy boots. "You are going to become Lindsay in this challenge!"

"What?!" Courtney shrieked. "I can't wear that! It's so… revealing!"

"Oh, come on!" Chris exclaimed, smirking. "You're just about the right fit!" Chris said as he emphasized Courtney's breast area.

"Har, har, har," Courtney fake laughed, rolling her eyes. "So I have to dress like Lindsay?"

"Yes, but you also have to act like her," Chris said. "If you don't act like Lindsay, then you're out of the competition, so I'd put on a great stupid act if I were you."

"Hey!" Lindsay complained, then rushed up to Courtney, putting an arm around her. "You can do this, OK? Just be less smart, and you can be the perfect me!"

"OK," Courtney said, smiling.

"Lindsay," Chris said, "since you're up here, why don't you go next?" Lindsay reached into the bag and pulled out--

"Le… Lesh… Leshinda? This word is hard," Lindsay whined, rubbing her forehead.

"It's Leshawna," Chris said, irritated. "You know, the big loud girl who--"

"Oh no you didn't!" Lindsay shouted, putting a finger in Chris' face, before resuming her usual cheery self. "That was pretty good, wasn't it?" Lindsay smiled innocently while Leshawna audibly groaned.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Do I really sound like that?

* * *

Noah reached into the bag, and looked quite pleased with the name he drew. "I got me! I think I can pull off this Noah character," Noah said, smirking. Chris just shrugged.

"Just play him as a big meanie head and you'll be perfect!" Katie shouted.

"Witty remark, foul beast, for I am Noah, and I have slain thee with my mind!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Why was Noah acting different? Shouldn't he have been, I don't know, exactly the same? Am I just not getting something here?

* * *

"Beth?" Owen asked. "Can I draw again? Beth's kinda' a girl, and I'm kinda'… well, not."

"Sorry my man," Chris said, smirking. "No rule saying you can't play the opposite sex."

"Beth likes food, right?" Owen asked nervously.

"I hear she likes facon," Chris grinned.

"Facon?! Sweet cherry pie, help me!"

Chris pushed Owen out of the way. "Katie and Sadie, why don't you two come up next?"

"Oh, I hope I get you, Katie!" Sadie exclaimed. "That would be like so awesome!"

"And I hope I get Izzy!" Katie exclaimed, which got her a glare from Sadie. "What? Izzy would be fun."

"Izzy agrees with you!" Izzy exclaimed, having just leapt from nowhere to straight before them. "You'll have so much fun being me! And feel free to pick whichever of my personalities you want, 'cause I have enough to share!"

"She hasn't picked you or anyone else yet," Chris said, annoyed. "Sadie, why don't you reach in and grab a name?"

Sadie reached in, then pulled out a slip. "DJ? The guy who was scared of everything? This'll be boring."

"Ooh, I hope I get lucky!" Katie exclaimed, reaching into the bag. "I hope I get Izzy. Or Sadie, at least!" Katie pulled out the name, and read it. "Katie. Well, it's sort of like getting you, Sadie," Katie said, trying to smile.

"Nope," Chris said, smiling deviously. "I'm not going to allow all you people to play yourselves, so you and Noah are switching!"

"What?!" Katie and Noah shrieked simultaneously.

"I can't play her! She's a nitwit!" Noah shouted, right before being smacked in the face by Bridgette again. "And would you stop doing that?!"

"I can't play him!" Katie screeched. "He's like… mean!"

"Tough!" Chris exclaimed, laughing.

Katie looked distraught for a few moments, before a sly grin crossed her face, and she turned to Noah. "Katie, you idiot! What are you doing, standing around like a moron who has no idea how to play in Chris' infuriating challenge?"

"I don't talk like that!" Noah snapped back.

Sadie crouched down in fear behind Katie, shivering.

"She scares me," Sadie said. "And this blade of grass is freaking me out! Eeek!"

"Only such a simpleminded fool would be frightened by that wuss," Katie said, pointing to Noah, who was steaming.

"I don't use that word!" Noah barked.

Bridgette giggled. "You aren't very good at this, are you? You're supposed to be Katie."

"No," Noah stated flatly, as Chris called for another camper.

"Ezekiel, come on down! You're the next contestant on Chris Maclaine is right!" Ezekiel walked over and put his hand into the bag and pulled out a name.

"Sadie," Ezekiel said, frowning. "Doos this mean I have to wear that skimpy--"

"Yes it does," Chris said, smirking. "Why don't you go and make weird teenage girl noises over by Katie?"

"No, no, **no!**" Noah shouted, as Ezekiel ran over and gave him a hug.

"Eeeiii!" Ezekiel exclaimed, leaving Noah very annoyed.

"I don't like you!"

"Aww, but we're BFFFF… somethings!" Ezekiel then gave Noah a tight hug that felt like Noah was being suffocated.

"Let. Go!" Katie and Sadie were giggling watching the two.

"Ezekiel's doing pretty good," Sadie smiled.

"Heather, why don't you come up?" Chris asked. "Actually, forget the niceties, you don't really have a choice." Heather sighed as she walked up to Chris, and took a slip of paper from the bag.

"Gwen," Heather said, with an unsure look on her face.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Just what I needed. More reason to have Gwen hate me. She's going to think I'm making fun of her, I just know it.

* * *

Gwen reached into the bag, and looked distraught from the name she pulled out.

"I do **not **want to be Heather," Gwen said, glaring death at Chris.

"Sorry, them's the rules," Chris said, shrugging. "No one forced you to pick her name. You don't see me complaining, though."

Heather tried speaking to Gwen. "I could help you--"

"No!" Gwen yelled. "I would never accept help from a weird goth girl like you, loser." Heather looked down.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: (looking sad) I guess I should have expected she'd pretend to be the old me.

Gwen: This might actually be fun! Getting back at Heather, or should I say "Gwen," and I'm actually supposed to do it, too!

* * *

"Justin?" Tyler said, looking upset. "I don't really like him."

"Too bad!" Chris exclaimed. "You wouldn't want to blow it for your team, would you?" Chris asked, handing Tyler some new clothing. "Cody, come on up and draw a name!" Cody walked up and reached into the bag, and pulled out--"

"I'm hungry! When's lunch?" Cody then ate the slip of paper, as well as a wad of gum on the ground, which he promptly spit out. "OK, how can Owen do that?" The real Owen decided to pick the used gum up and start chewing it himself.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I think I'm going to need some beans if I'm really going to do Owen right. A lot of them. It won't be pretty, but then, neither is Owen, really.

* * *

"Ezekiel?" Justin asked, raising an eyebrow. "That hick? Please. He's beneath me."

"Do you really want your team to lose again?" Chris asked, annoyed.

"Fine, fine," Justin said, shrugging. "Women suck, eh, golly gee, eh, they do, eh! Women, eh, are the stupidest, eh, most stupid eh stupids eh that ever eh stupider, eh, and eh, I'm stupid eh, too, eh, because, eh, I'm Ezekiel, eh?" Ezekiel hid his head in his tuque.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: I doon't talk like that, eh! And I didn't even say women sucked last season… I doon't think. What is sucked?

* * *

"Ezekiel's not sexist," Izzy said, upset, glaring at Justin.

"Yeah," Bridgette agreed, standing beside Izzy, also glaring. "He didn't even go that far last season! There's kind of a difference between 'men are smarter' and 'women suck.'"

"Wow," Justin said, with a look of shock on his face. "That's an amazing trick! Some big, strong, smart male has taught you bitches to speak English words! That's incredible! I must congratulate your male trainer!"

"Give me one good reason not to go kamikaze on your ass!" Izzy screeched, with Bridgette putting minimal effort into calming her down.

"I'd say he's playing Ezekiel pretty darn well," Chris said, smirking.

"We should leave and calm down for a bit now, home girl slices," Lindsay said, with her hands on her hips. Izzy and Bridgette started laughing.

"You really can't pull that off," Bridgette said, breathing heavily. "I'd give you an A for effort, though."

"Thanks, homie!" Lindsay beamed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: OK, I seriously don't talk like that.

* * *

"Hey, I'm you!" Izzy exclaimed, looking to Bridgette. "So now I get to be boring!"

"Wait, boring?" Bridgette asked, confused. "I mean, compared to you, I guess, but--"

"Compared to everyone!" Izzy exclaimed. "I mean, you're like one of the sweetest people here, but you're just so… lazy."

"Lazy?!" Bridgette shouted, trying to control her temper.

"I mean, you just like relaxing, lazing around, not getting worked up… is there a nicer word for lazy, 'cause that's you!" Izzy hugged her friend. "I didn't mean anything mean."

"How about 'laid-back,'" the surfer girl said, smiling.

"OK, laid-back," Izzy said in a monotone. "Cool. I'm--whoa!" Izzy exclaimed oddly happily as she fell down. "Oops, klutzy me."

"I haven't tripped all season," Bridgette said, giggling.

"That's incredible!" Izzy exclaimed. "It's hard to see where you're going when you're not opening your eyes." Sure enough, Izzy's eyes were mostly closed.

"Um… I don't do that," Bridgette said, confused.

"Sure you do! You're doing it right now! You never really open them up. Let the world see those beautiful… I can't really tell what color they are, but let them eat cake and see your eyes!"

"They are open!" Bridgette said, exasperated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (looking at photographs) OK, so I don't have my eyes as wide open as everyone else. I can see fine though, really! Izzy can be annoying sometimes, but then, most of my friends here are sometimes. Just not good to stay mad when they're trying to be nice.

* * *

"Well, well, well," Bridgette said, with a big grin. "I'm Izzy!"

"I guess we'll be fighting over Ezekiel then," Izzy said, squinting, then put a finger on her chin. "Then again, we already were."

"That's not something Bridgette would say!" Bridgette said, quickly, "because Bridgette doesn't talk that way! Bridgette wouldn't be saying she would be fighting over anyone, especially not Ezekiel, since Bridgette already has a boyfriend, and she loves her boyfriend, and she loves her boyfriend a lot and stuff, and other stuff, and a whole lot of other stuff, but Bridgette loves Geoff!" Bridgette looked exhausted after finishing that. "How do you and Courtney even do that?!"

"Dunno," Izzy said, lying on the ground. "I'm just chillin'."

"Bridgette doesn't say 'chillin'!" Bridgette yelled, hopping around Izzy, though quickly falling on her face. "Ow."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Do I really need to bounce around like that? I had gone so long without falling on my face this year so far, and that just ruined it.

* * *

"Yeah, I'm Geoff! All right!" Eva exclaimed. "Time to party hearty!" Eva then slapped her face. "This is so stupid."

"Let's not break character," Chris said with a sadistic grin, waving his finger. Eva grumbled away, as Harold stuck his hand into the bag, and pulled out--"

"Courtney?!" Harold was not please. "But she's a hateful, bossy, mean girl who's always putting everyone down!"

"Hey, don't be talkin' 'bout my home girl that way!" Lindsay shouted, making a fist.

"Thank you, Lasomething!" Courtney exclaimed, hugging Lindsay. Leshawna's eye was twitching watching these goings-on.

Trent was next. He stuck his hand into the bag, and pulled out--"

"Not him!" Trent shouted. "Not Duncan! Gwen's falling in love with him… this'll break my heart!"

"Gwen sucks," Harold said. "Gwen's trying to get her goth hooks into my man!" Trent glared at Harold, who then backed down.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: Actually, since Gwen loves Duncan, maybe this will be a good opportunity to win her back… or get Heather back. I'm a little confused, really.

* * *

"Eva?!" Leshawna shouted. "I can't do Eva! She's a tough bully!"

"But aren't you, like, a tough bully, or some junk?" Courtney asked, with a dopey look on her face."

Leshawna started to raise a fist, and rushed toward Courtney. "I'm pretty sure Eva would get physical on your ass for a comment like that!" Courtney ran off, but Lindsay got in Leshawna's face.

"You ain't messin' with my girl, honey, if yous knows what's good for ya's!" Lindsay said, shifting her hips with every syllable, waving a finger in Leshawna's face.

"You tell her, Leshawna, since you're my best friend!" Heather said, supporting Lindsay.

Leshawna looked dumbfounded, and slapped her face. "You two aren't friends! You two hate each other! Lindsay, don't you remember what Heather did to you last year?!"

"Yes," Courtney said sweetly, walking back. "Hortensia picked on me, and she was a big meanie-head, but we kissed and made up, so we're BFFs again! Yeah!" Courtney exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air.

"Not you, Courtney! Lindsay!" Leshawna shouted, confused and angry.

"But I am Lindsay," Courtney said, putting her finger to her lip. "Or was it Lilith? Leanne? I forget sometimes, tee hee!"

"You's really some hot dog good, girl!" Lindsay shouted.

"**Stop that!**" Leshawna screamed, looking like she was getting a headache. "I need to see Gwen."

"You wanted to see me?" Heather asked, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (overly vibrating her hips) Emily sure be screamin' some loud, motha'!

* * *

"Gwen!" Leshawna exclaimed, wanting to talk to her friend.

"Heather, actually," Gwen said. "I think I'm supposed to hate you. But then, I'm supposed to hate everyone. I guess I'm using Lindsay and Courtney like pawns right now, though… Harold is Courtney, right? We should be in an alliance!"

"Not you too," Leshawna cried. "Look, really, we need a plan."

"Only if you agree to be in my alliance. And do everything I say," Gwen said, smiling. "This is kind of fun, actually."

"I'm seriously," Leshawna said, irritated. "We need Heather out of here."

"I'm not letting you get away with that!" Gwen said, smiling.

Leshawna slapped her face. "OK. We need to get **Gwen **out of here."

"That, I can agree with. I hate Gwen. That's why I posted her private diary page all over the campground, wanting to expose all of her lame goth secrets for all the world to see!" Gwen then started laughing maniacally.

"Lame goth? Is that really you Gwen?"

"Of course not! I'm Heather! I'm a big bully! Roar!" Gwen said, smiling. "So, can I use and abuse you for my own selfish needs?"

"Uh, OK," Leshawna said, blinking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I really, really hate this stupid challenge. Can't Gwen be serious! I mean, hello, tall pale girl just exposed Gwen's deepest secret thoughts to the whole world!

Gwen: Yeah, I'm upset about Heather, but we can get to that a bit later. We've already lost four in a row, and I really don't want to break character and make it five.

* * *

"Campers," Chris said, "it's time for you all to get changed. Meet me at the top of the thousand-foot cliff in an hour, chop chop!" Chris walked away.

"He's probably going to his trailer to work on his hair for an hour," Gwen said sarcastically. "Just like I do every morning."

"We could do each other's hair, eh?" Ezekiel asked Noah, still not looking happy.

"I'm still not doing this," Noah said, with his arms crossed.

"I still hate you for absolutely no reason!" Katie shouted. "I'm just randomly as ass to people like that!"

"That was really scary," Sadie said, shivering with her ears covered. "You're awful mean, Noah. You should just apologize to Katie."

"Me? Apologize? Never! I'm a big jerk-face, after all!" Katie shouted, not even pretending to keep the conversation private.

"Oh well," Sadie shrugged, still on the ground. "You apologizing would be like the scariest thing ever. I want my Mommy to protect me!" Sadie started to suck on her thumb.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: (dressed as Sadie) Oh my God, I wonder why Chris wants us to meet him at the top of the cliff! Eeeiii!  
Noah: (dressed as Katie) Stop that!

Sadie: (dressed as DJ) I'm scared of thousand-foot cliffs. And using this confessional all by myself. And confessing, period. And talking. (Sadie motions zipping her mouth shut, then smiles.)

* * *

The campers were all dressed as the person they were supposed to be imitating, with Chris, at the top of the thousand-foot cliff. Most were wondering what they were doing, though a few were just plain angry.

"You're going to pay when I get my hands on you, you homewrecker, vicious, back-stabbing little Satan's child!" Leshawna was lunging for Heather, being held back by Gwen.

"Well, you're getting into character at least," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"What you talkin' about?!" Leshawna shouted. "That girl needs to pay!"

"If I may have your attention," Chris exclaimed, "I would like for all of you to jump from this cliff, into the water below. We're not really sure about the shark situation down there, though, so good luck!"

Izzy yawned. "Whatever. Who cares." Izzy slowly walked over before diving straight into the water below.

"So we got a point," Heather said, pretending to yawn. "Whoopee."

"Uh, yeah, point for Screaming Pansies, I guess," Chris said, not really paying a whole lot of attention to his words. "Who's next?"

"Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!" Bridgette exclaimed, jumping up and down. "One time, there was this shark that I wrestled, and I wrestled him, and I wrestled him good, like really good, really really good, so good that that shark was bad, like bad, in really bad shape, in some sort of shape that was really bad, it was that bad!" Bridgette grabbed Chris and pulled him over the edge with her, with Bridgette cackling and Chris screaming his lungs out on the way down.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (wildly gesturing as she speaks) That was like sooo awesome! I see why Izzy likes to do this sort of stuff. It's fun to just be impulsive sometimes, and gave me a good excuse to drag Chris down there with me!

Chris: **This challenge sucks!**

* * *

"I'm soaked!" Chris shrieked, as Izzy and Bridgette were pulling him out of the water. "I can't be seen on international TV like this! You all wait for me to get back!" Chris stormed off, as Izzy and Bridgette just stared in shock, before making their way back to the top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"Chris left," Izzy said flatly, as she put her hands in her pockets. "You put your hands in your pockets a lot, right?"

"Izzy doesn't, but Bridgette does!" Bridgette exclaimed. "She does that a lot, as it just feels right when she does it, like relaxed and stuff, because she does it all the time, and all the time she does it she does it all the time!"

"Eh, you need to practice the ramblings," Izzy said, shrugging.

"So where's be's Chris be's, yo hot dog?" Lindsay asked, shaking her hips, then fell down after getting dizzy from doing so.

"Fixing his hair," Izzy said, squinting at the loudmouth wannabe.

"So we's be's waitin' for foo' to buy back the time fo' the swing biz?"

"Stop that!" Leshawna shouted!

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (rubbing her forehead with her hands) Lashonda must be so smart to understand all of this stuff she's saying. (Lindsay panics for a moment.) Um, I mean, L-bird be's ma' brain brain knows all the wha' on the lips, yo!

* * *

"So what do we do know?" Courtney asked, with an unnaturally huge smile on her face, and went up to Gwen. "Heather, you're so smartical… what do you sugg… suggei… think?"

"I think you shouldn't ask me for advice, because you can't trust me at all!" Gwen exclaimed. "I'm going to betray you, but it's a secret, so just pretend you don't know."

"Betray… that's like a kind of party, right!" Courtney exclaimed. "Eeeiii!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (slaps her face) I did **not **just squeal like that. Goodbye future political career.

Leshawna: Seriously, this is all freaking me out!

* * *

"One of us should lead to that commercial break that Chris usually does, since he isn't here, you ignoramus!" Katie complained, slapping Courtney, then immediately looked shocked by what she just did, and cried a bit. "Oh, I'm sorry about that," Katie said sweetly, hugging Courtney.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: OK, I know Noah would never actually apologize, but I felt bad… I think I got into character too well. I hope Courtney isn't going to get all mad again.

Courtney: It was an accident--sort of--and Lindsay practically begged me not to hold another grudge against Katie so soon after I got over the whole apples and Sadie thing. It feels so wrong, still.

* * *

"I would do it myself," Katie said, trying to hold back from smiling, "but I'm too lazy. Why don't you do it and show the world how smart you can pretend to be while pretending to be imbecilic."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (looking down) I'm really going to have to apologize to Lindsay after this is all over, too.

* * *

Courtney walked up before everyone. "Which team is going to win? Will it be the losing with Chris people that like to kill, or will it be the team with the pretty flowers that hurt my ears? Will Greta be able to forgive Heidi, or will Labomba's evil plan thing to get poor, innocent Haley kicked off successful? And most importantly, will I get a pretty tan if I stay here long enough?"

"You's be really tanned already, be's yo!" Lindsay said, smiling, pointing out Courtney's already darkish skin.

"Oh yeah," Courtney chuckled. "I forgot about that. But find out a bunch of answer-type thingies coming up on _Total Drama Lindsay!"_

"Aw," Lindsay said, looking down. "Me's be's hoping you was giving me's the title again, instead of you's big ego bein' down with that, yo."

Courtney let her character down for a moment. "I was **not **about to give Leshawna credit in the title."

* * *

For any help following along with this challenge, just in case anyone needs it, here's a small cheat sheet on who is playing whom. On the left is the camper, and on the right is which camper they'll be cosplaying as.

Featuring Cody as Owen.  
Courtney as Lindsay.  
Ezekiel as Sadie.  
Harold as Courtney.  
Heather as Gwen.  
Izzy as Bridgette.  
Leshawna as Eva.  
Lindsay as Leshawna.  
Owen as Beth.  
Trent as Duncan.  
Tyler as Justin.  
Bridgette as Izzy.  
Eva as Geoff.  
Gwen as Heather.  
Justin as Ezekiel.  
Katie as Noah.  
Noah as Katie.  
And special guest Sadie as DJ.


	10. Day 5, Part 2: Heather or Not

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 10: Day 5: Part 2: Heather or Not**

Chris was all dried-off and well-presented as he was standing before the contestants once more at the top of the thousand-foot cliff. "Will the Killer Chrises finally win a challenge? Or will they be crushed-**again**-" Chris emphasized, glaring irritatedly at the Killer Chrises, "by the pathetic Screaming Pansies." Chris started rubbing his head. "Seriously, Lindsay's on that team, for heaven's sake! How do they keep winning?"

"Maybe because you put both of the annoying leader girls on that team?" Noah spat, irritated, then quickly put on a fake smile. "I mean, maybe putting both of the annoying leader girls on that team, eeeiii," Noah stated with zero enthusiasm.

"I was expecting more of a power struggle." Chris said, shrugging. "We'll have that edited in a bit later before the break. And we'll return to break here." Chris said, and started mugging for the camera. "Welcome back to _Total Drama Chris!_ When we left off, Izzy and Bridgette had already jumped down into the lake below… or should I say Izzy and… Bridgette. OK, I should've written this down. Point is, Izzy was Bridgette and Bridgette was Izzy, and Ezekiel's just enjoying the view."

"Well," Ezekiel started, "the lake does look nice from up here."

"I thought I said 'Ezekiel,' not 'Sadie.'" Chris said, annoyed.

"Oh," Justin said, shrugging. "Yeah, they're hot and useless, because they're women, eh." Ezekiel once again hid his head under his tuque.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: The hat stayed, eh.

* * *

"If we lose, I'm going to make sure that you get voted off, Ezekiel!" Gwen shouted, then cackled to herself.

"Katie, you have to jump with me," Ezekiel said, stepping over to the edge of the cliff. "I'll just die if you don't jump with me! Eeeiii!"

"Eeeiii," Noah said, slightly waving his hands, and rolling his eyes. "Fine. Just enough with the screaming." The two jumped off the cliff together, Noah reluctantly so, and landed in the lake below.

"That was fun, eh? Eeeiii!" Ezekiel exclaimed, as Noah was holding his ears.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: Come on, this isn't soo bad, eh?  
Noah: Why are you even in here with me?

* * *

"I'm not jumping," Harold said indignantly, crossing his arms. "I'm too good for this stupid challenge. I'm better than everyone else here, and I should be excused from this since I'm a CIT, and should get to boss everyone around and pick on them."

"Charlotte doesn't pick on people," Courtney whined. "Be nice, Henry."

"You's be's jumpin'!" Lindsay shouted. "Our team needs be points be!" Lindsay walked over and tried to pick Harold up, but couldn't.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I'm sorry, team. I'm just not as strong as La Quinta. I was trying to pretend to be stronger to throw Hank over, but it wasn't working.

* * *

After Lindsay walked away, dejected, Harold then jumped anyway, to Chris' surprise. Chris just shrugged it off, not really paying any attention to when Harold hit the water, and looked back toward the teens still up on the cliff with him. "So who's going next?" Chris asked.

"Well I'm certainly not," Gwen whined. "I don't want to get my hair wet on international TV."

"You're scared, aren't you?" Heather shot back.

"Uh, no," Gwen said, irritated. "I'm not scared at all. Well, except for the world seeing me with bad hair."

"No, you're looking down there in fear, that you're trying to be forced into making an insane cliff dive," Heather said, somewhat irritated. "And you're scared because my supposed best friend is threatening to throw you off the cliff."

"I's no's be's doin' that again, yo!" Lindsay said, crossing her arms.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: I don't remember calling Heather scared last year, and I don't remember Heather actually being scared… I'm a little confused where that came from, really. How was that Gwen, exactly?

* * *

"I goes blam to blang and geez to please," Lindsay said, before jumping.

"That's getting really annoying," Leshawna said, rubbing her forehead. "Still, I guess Eva wouldn't be afraid of a lil' old cliff, so I guess I'd better go."

"Damn straight, I'm not." Eva said, as Leshawna jumped down herself. Eva then thought to herself. "Is Geoff afraid?" After pondering it over for a few moments, Eva jumped down, though wound up landing on something soft and squishy. Eva dove under and saw Leshawna drowning, so she pulled Leshawna up and to safety. "I'm… I'm…" Eva was having trouble getting out what she was trying to say, but eventually got it out. "Sorry."

"Thanks," Leshawna said, trying to regain composure.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: I couldn't just let Leshawna drown back there. I had nothing against her.

* * *

"I'm too scared to jump," Owen said, looking down into the water. "Seriously. If I have to be a girl, at least I get to be one that remembers how suicidal this was last year." Chris then reached into his pocket and pulled out several colors of jellybeans. "You wouldn't!" Owen shouted. "You couldn't! I have to stay in character!"

"Catch!" Chris exclaimed, as he tossed the jellybeans over the cliff, as Owen jumped over, thinking absolutely nothing of the danger. Cody looked over in fear.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: OK, I know I probably should have chased the jellybeans over the cliff there, but seriously… I would have been risking life and limb going down at the same time as Owen!

* * *

Sadie looked over the edge of the cliff, shivering. "I'm too scared to jump," Sadie said, gulping. "Even if Katie was here, I couldn't do it. Do I get a chicken hat?"

"Not this time," Chris said, scratching his head. "I probably should have thought to bring some, though. Is Noah going, though?"

"I couldn't jump without Sadie," Katie said, before catching herself. "I mean, not that I'd jump anyway, since I'm too lazy to jump. It's beneath me. I don't even like Sadie. Or Katie."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: I don't care what they edited out last season, I did jump!  
Ezekiel: But only after Chris said we could jump together, eh.  
Noah: That's not what I meant!

* * *

"I don't know, like, how to jump off cliffs and stuff," Courtney said, looking down. "Besides, I'm too pretty to jump off, and I might, like, ruin my makeup."

"Yeah," Chris said, looking uncomfortable. "Pretty… yeah… I guess we can go with that. Anyway, I've had enough of this," Chris said, yawning. "Time for dodge ball!"

"We haven't all had a chance to jump yet, though," Heather said, rolling her eyes.

"Eh. Don't care," Chris said, shrugging.

"Well, we care about getting points!" Heather shouted, though it was falling on deaf ears.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Dodge ball… my old arch-nemesis.  
Ezekiel: I thought we had fun with it last year.  
Noah: Are you still here?

* * *

Trent, Cody, Leshawna, Izzy, and Ezekiel were standing on the left side of the dodge ball court, playing for the Screaming Pansies, while Bridgette, Justin, Eva, and Gwen were standing on the right side, playing for the Killer Chrises.

"Katie, get out there!" Katie shouted to Noah. "Your team needs you!"

"Um, no," Noah said, annoyed. "I don't do dodge ball."

"Um, yeah, you do! You were like one of the greatest players last year!" Katie shouted. "I mean, maybe not as good as Duncan or Harold, but still, you rocked out there!"

"I wasn't out there, period," Noah said, taking out his book to bury his head in, which Katie tossed to the ground.

"Katie also doesn't read boring books like this! Get out on that court!" Katie shoved Noah onto the court against his will without much effort.

"Looks like the Killer Chrises are finally ready," Chris said, smirking. "You guys know the rules. If you don't, I don't really care."

"You's be's better care what yo' be's swimming' yo' score bling blang!" Lindsay shouted, getting disoriented from the hip-shaking she was doing.

"I don't really know what that means," Chris said, looking confused. "Anyway, begin!"

"I don't really-oomph!" Noah was shocked to be hit almost immediately with a couple of dodge balls by way of Leshawna and Cody. Ezekiel started crying, and ran up to Noah to see if he was OK.

"Now that's what we're talkin' about!" Leshawna boasted. Eva rolled her eyes at the comment.

"Whoo hoo," Eva flatly stated as she knocked Leshawna out with a powerful throw. "What a darn shame, party-hearty sister."

"I didn't know Jerry was that strong," Courtney said from the bleachers.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Now what was that all about? Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning… then again, she always does.

Eva: If she's going to portray me like that, maybe I should've just let her drown.

* * *

"Score's five to eight!" Chris exclaimed, raising his hands into the air.

"It… what?" Courtney asked, very confused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Seriously, that wasn't even acting, really.

* * *

"Which team has eight?" Heather asked.

"Yes," Chris answered, semi-oblivious to the question.

"Whatever," Heather said, rolling her eyes.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Seriously, why did I hate Gwen last year? Why was I such an ass to her? Why was I so petty? Acting like Gwen isn't really much different from acting like… well, me.

* * *

"What was that strategy I had last year?" Trent asked, trying to remember what Duncan did to help their team win the dodge ball competition last season. "Picking on Gwen, or something?"

"I don't really know," Cody said, shrugging. "I'm pretty sure Owen just let 'em all have it, though," Cody said, hitting Justin in the face. And again. And again.

"Would Owen actually do that?" Trent asked, looking nervous.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: Trent had a point… Owen kind of adores the guy. I'm not really doing a very good Owen, am I?

* * *

"My face! My poor, poor face!" Justin screeched, then suddenly remembered. "I mean, at least my poor, poor face still looks prettier than all the girls' here." That earned Justin another ball to the face, courtesy of Ezekiel.

"No one insults us girls like that!" Ezekiel proclaimed, then ran over to hug Noah. "Eeeiii!"

"Yes, yes, we're all happy for you," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"I can't throw this at anyone," Izzy said, squinting at her ball. "I don't believe in violence. I only want to spread the message of peace, love, and body surfing."

"Bridgette isn't that bad!" Bridgette exclaimed. "Bridgette also didn't intend those words to sound as hokey as she eventually realized they sounded, but Bridgette just wanted to be nice, and really does want peace and love and loves surfing, so Bridgette just said those things that she said to say things that she said and was supposed to say the things she said."

Izzy blinked, then tripped, throwing her ball straight at Bridgette. "Oops, klutzy me."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: I can't believe I tripped and "accidentally" threw the ball on the way down. It completely goes against everything I stand for. I mean, except the tripping part. I like doing that.

* * *

"Blah blah, do not talk about dodge ball," Katie said, rolling her eyes, and moving her hands like mouths. "Blah blah murder balls. Blah blah seriously lacking."

"I actually had the most team spirit during this challenge last year!" Noah complained. "None of you guys appreciated that!"

"I know!" Ezekiel exclaimed, from on the court. "You were like the only one who played in every round!"

"Huh?" Noah asked, blinking, then turned to Katie. "What is he babbling on about?"

"He means **Katie **played in every round. Idiot," Katie stated flatly.

Noah slapped his face. "That's really annoying!" Noah shouted.

"Don't like how it feels, huh?" Katie taunted, then closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: No, I don't, I admit it! Happy?  
Ezekiel: Maybe you should tell her, eh.  
Noah: Get out!

Katie: Seriously, what's "Katie's" problem?  
Sadie: Yeah, I don't like seeing you two fighting.  
Katie: DJ, why are you in here with me?  
Sadie: Oh yeah, I forgot. I'm sorry… leaving you alone in here would scare me, though.  
Katie: Aww, that's so… I mean, I don't care. (Katie takes out a large book.) All I care about is my stupid book that I still haven't finished reading, even though I've been reading it since last summer.  
Sadie: Aww, that's too bad.  
Katie: Nah, it's OK. I just like carrying it around so I look smart!  
Sadie: You're like so smart, Noah! Eeeiii!  
Katie: I'm sorry I can't join in. I don't believe in squeeing.

Noah: And who stole my book?  
Ezekiel: What book, Katie?  
Noah: **Out!**

Leshawna: Seriously, what is that boy's problem? He's been acting worse than Heather so far this year! I just know she's waiting to strike, though.

* * *

"Die! Die! Die!" Cody exclaimed, throwing balls madly toward Eva and Gwen while cackling, though hitting neither, and Eva caught the last one.

"Whoo hoo," Eva calmly stated, as a dejected Cody started walking toward the bleachers.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: Who does Geoff think he is, anyway, Homer Simpson? (Eva chuckles to herself, before looking angrily into the camera) Err, I mean, I have no idea who Homer Simpson is. I've never seen the lousy show, and you can't prove otherwise! And I'll kill anyone who says anything different! (Eva starts to look sheepish.) Um… whoo hoo?

* * *

"Katie,' Eva said, with a smug smile on her face, "you were so good last season with the dodge ball challenge, how about you come back out?" Noah just sat there until Katie elbowed him, with a scowl on her face.

"What?" Noah asked, annoyed. "She said she wanted you out there. Don't see why you're bugging me."

"You're Katie," Katie said, smiling deviously. "So get out there!" Katie pushed Noah out onto the court.

"I'm not Katie!" Noah shouted. "I hate this stupid challenge!" Noah was then hit by a dodge ball, courtesy of Izzy.

"Oops," Izzy said, smiling innocently. "Must've slipped! Sorry! I mean, I'd never do such a thing on purpose, being anti-violence and anti-fun, and all."

"Bridgette isn't anti-fun!" Bridgette shouted from the bleachers. "Bridgette's always doing fun things, like surfing, and Geoff, and picking up litter off the beach, and-"

"Picking up litter is boring," Izzy said, shrugging. "Which is why I do it."

"Seriously, please cut that out," Bridgette said, running in place from the top of the bleachers, until she tripped and fell to the ground.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (holding an ice pack to her head) OK, I probably should've come down from the bleachers before I did that.

* * *

"This is boring," Chris said, looking annoyed. "New challenge! Talent show!"

"But no one's won the dodge ball game yet," Heather pointed out, looking irritated. "We were in the lead, too."

"Don't care, talent show, now!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: It's really too bad no one got Harold. Hearing him beatboxing would've been awesome. And I could've really pummeled him, since I despise the guy for no good reason!

* * *

"Where's the stage?" Harold asked, as he and the other cosplaying campers were in front of the cabins, with Chris before them.

"We didn't put it up. Not yet, anyway," Chris said, shrugging. "I don't really care."

"The same way you didn't care about the cliff dive or the dodge ball game?" Heather asked, irritated. "This is as half-assed as you've ever been with a challenge."

"Hush," Chris whined. "Justin, you get to go first. Do some modeling for us."

Tyler shrugged, as he went up to Chris, and Chris walked off. Tyler just looked at the audience for a moment, not sure what to do, until he did some funny looking poses.

"You look like a deranged monkey!" Gwen heckled, then chuckled to herself. "I could really get used to this Heather thing."

Tyler eventually tried to rip off his shirt, but he couldn't tear it: instead, he wound up pulling himself up, and he fell to the ground. Water then splashed on him from above, courtesy of Chef, waiting on the rooftop, and Tyler looked miserable, curling up into a fetal position, soaked and not really hot, judging from the others' reactions. "Help?" Tyler cried.

Chris shook his head. "Ooh, not a very good Justin. He didn't talk last year. And he was actually, you know, hot."

"That was pathetic," Justin said, rolling his eyes. "I bet he's really a girl, just pretending to be a guy. A really hot guy, mind you, but still, just a stupid, lame, imbecilic little girl, eh?" Tyler glared as he walked off the non-existent stage, and Ezekiel once again hid his head under his tuque.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: Katie, Justin's being mean to poor Ezekiel, eh?  
Noah: Maybe poor Ezekiel would get more sympathy if he'd leave me the hell alone!

* * *

Sadie, looking confused, was standing before the crowd, holding a stick with a long pink ribbon on the end of it. "What do I do with this?"

"Do that wussy girly dance ribbon thing," Justin heckled, earning him glares. "What, that's what Ezekiel would say."

"Can't really argue with that," Chris said, shrugging.

Sadie looked into the audience, holding the stick, confused. Then she started waving it around a bit, dancing a bit, mostly just shaking her hips, then a twirly thing, then looked into the audience and took a bow.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: Yeah, that really sucked. I didn't really know what I was supposed to, though.

* * *

Gwen was on the stage, with a sheet of paper in her hand. "Today, I was going to do this beautiful ballet, but I changed my mind, and am going to perform a recital, read by me, written by Gwen." Gwen took out a book that looked suspiciously familiar to Heather, and Heather realized what was going on.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: How could she do that to me? I really thought Gwen was better than that. (Heather starts bawling.)

* * *

"Today was a miserable day. Jim, one of the nicest guys in the school, asked me to go to the dance with him. Me! I couldn't believe it… and I shouldn't have. He actually went to the dance with Jewel, once my best friend, until I was declared a leper this year, and seemed to live to torment me, like I once did with others… I suppose it's payback for how I used to treat everyone… but seriously, pig's blood? Can you say "Carrie" rip-off? And Taylor…" Gwen trailed off, dropping the diary, and started crying herself. Courtney noticed Heather running off, crying, and Courtney turned furious.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: You know, I know I'm supposed to be Heather right now, but… well, I actually felt bad that I read her diary. I really thought it was going to be stupider and more superficial than that. Would've been nicer if Leshawna would have picked out a nicer entry for me to read.

Leshawna: Girl totally deserved it! I should've done the pig's blood thing last year.

* * *

"Courtney," Chris said, handing Harold a violin, "see what you can do with this-"

"What the hell was that?" Courtney shrieked, lunging for Leshawna, to Gwen's surprise, though Courtney was being held back by Lindsay. "What was that for?"

'Payback," Leshawna said, smiling deviously. "Payback for what she did to Gwen this morning."

"**You did that!**" Courtney screamed from the top of her lungs, fully believing herself to be correct.

"Leshawna's my best friend," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "Why would she hurt me?"

"Revenge!" Courtney shouted. "Revenge against Heather! She hates Heather!"

"We all hate Heather," Gwen said, irritated. "It's because she does things like this diary stunt, remember?"

"The one Leshawna did? Yes, I remember. It was this morning!" Courtney bellowed, still being desperately held back by Lindsay.

"Please, don't," Lindsay tried asking sweetly, then turned to Leshawna, with an angry tone in her voice. "Why did you try to frame Heather, anyway?"

"I didn't!" Leshawna pleaded. "Really, you're listening to Crazy in Training here? You're both under that spoiled girl's spell!" Gwen quietly snuck off as the other three girls were arguing.

"Don't call her that!" Lindsay shouted, with venom in her voice. "Courtney's like the smartest person I know! I mean, I know she has a temper, but **so do you!**"

"She was making fun of you!" Leshawna shouted. "You don't remember, earlier today, mocking your stupidity?"

"That was the challenge!" Lindsay shouted. "I told her to do that! She knew I was OK with it! Something **you **didn't seem to get." Lindsay then smirked as a thought occurred to her. "Then again, you're Emily is spot on."

"**I ain't acting!**" Leshawna screamed, lunging toward Lindsay, as she ran off, and Courtney grabbed her, and threw her into Harold, breaking the violin.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: (massaging her forehead) Remind me never to get into it one-on-one with CIT girl. I think I'm gonna' need some backup with her. And since I'm dressed as crazy muscle girl and all….

Courtney: Seriously, trying to attack Lindsay? What has she ever done to anyone? I didn't try to aim for Harold, but that was a nice little bonus, since he's almost just as bad.

Harold: I guess having the guitar smashed up was in character and all, at least, but really, attacking me with my girlfriend? I mean, my other girlfriend… because I like Heather. And Leshawna.

* * *

Gwen was walking through the woods, and found Heather, sitting on a log, curled up and crying profusely. "Heather?" Gwen asked, nervous.

"What?" Heather answered weakly, crying as hard as ever. "You wanted to rub it in more?"

"Was that stuff… I mean, was that stuff true?"

"No! I always make stuff up in my diary on the off-chance that someone's going to steal it and share it with the world!" Heather shouted, glaring at Gwen. "How could you do that to me? I thought you were better than that."

"I don't know!" Gwen shouted, annoyed. "Maybe I thought it would be good revenge for all the crap you've done to me. Maybe it was revenge for spreading my diary page around this morning that I had a pregnancy scare. I really did not want that to get out. I don't really want to be known as some stupid slut. It was a mistake."

"I'm really sorry," Heather said, looking sympathetic. "I swear, I had nothing to do with that page getting out this morning."

"Stop lying!" Gwen shouted, very upset. "Look, I'll admit I went too far, and I'm sorry I crossed the line there, but so did you!"

"Last year," Heather said, looking down and really depressed.

"This morning!" Gwen shouted, feeling as if she wasn't getting through to Heather. "You're making it really hard for me to feel bad for what I did. I just wish Leshawna gave me a different page to read."

"Leshawna?" Heather asked, no longer crying, but started to look angry. "Leshawna put you up to this?"

"Well," Gwen said, looking nervous, "I was supposed to be you, and Heather is the kind of person who would read Gwen's diary-that would be you-to the world. She thought it would be a great way to get revenge, and still allow me to stay in character."

"You win," Heather said, crying profusely once more. "Happy?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Seriously, after what she did to me this morning, there's no reason I should feel even slightly bad for her. I really don't get why I do.

* * *

"Heather?" Courtney called out, with Lindsay in tow. "There you are. Gwen, I hope you're here to apologize."

"I did," Gwen said nervously. "Though she hasn't apologized for spreading my secrets around. But then, why would she apologize? She has no conscience."

Courtney slapped her face, looking annoyed. "Leshawna did it. Why am I the only one who realizes how obvious this is?"

"She didn't do it," both Heather and Gwen said in unison. Lindsay looked sad.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: That whole "Leshawna did it" kick Courtney's on is really annoying. Seriously, even if she's buying into this whole "Heather's innocent" thing, which I don't understand why she's falling for it, I don't get why she thinks my best friend would've done this to me.

Heather: That whole "Leshawna did it" kick Courtney's on is really annoying, but I know she means well, and admittedly, I don't really have any other guesses as to who would've done this, and since she's one of the only people actually sticking up for me, I can put up with it. Everyone's got their little quirks, after all.

Lindsay: I wish everyone could get along. Except Laquisha. And Jeremy. They're kinda' mean.

* * *

Back at the campground, everyone, minus Heather, Gwen, Courtney, and Lindsay, was gathered around a large tub of green Jell-O, with Harold on a diving board above it.

"Now remember, Harold," Chris said, "you need to face your fear and dive into the Jell-O." Without much hesitation, Harold jumped in.

"I didn't see much fear," Chris said, shrugging. "Trent, go hug that Celine Dion standee over there." Chris pointed behind the ladder, over to an actual Celine Dion standee. Trent looked confused, shrugged, then walked over to hug it.

"I don't really get it," Trent said, confused. "I mean, what's the point of this?"

Chris threw his hands into the air. "You guys are all hopeless!"

"This is actually pretty comfortable," Owen said, relaxing in an inflatable pool filled with worms. "These gummi worms aren't very tasty, though."

"Those aren't gummi worms," Chris said, looking disgusted. "This really isn't working like I was hoping it would."

"Don't worry," Bridgette said, smiling brightly. "I'm terrified of flying. Can't make me do it ever, nuh-uh, never! Flying is like the one thing you'd never get me to do, never ever ever, because it's so scary, and it's so scary that I'll never do it, for it frightens me so, and as such, since it scares me to such a degree, I will never be found in a plane, not today, not tomorrow, not ever."

"Thank you, Mojo," Izzy said, rolling her eyes, then squinting them again. "Seriously, you're not good at the rambling. Courtney is. Maybe she should've been Izzy. She's pretty good at Lindsay too though, so eh, I can't complain." Izzy then rested her hands in her pockets.

"Hey, at least one person's getting the whole idea here," Chris said, annoyed. "Just too bad I didn't bring the plane out here today."

"You really are lazy," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, he is lazy," Noah agreed, smiling, though Katie and Sadie just glared at him.

"I don't mind, though," Sadie said. "As long as Chris didn't bring a snake. Because even though I'm scared of everything, snakes are one of them."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Come on, I agreed with her! Isn't that good enough?  
Ezekiel: Just apologize, eh.  
Noah: Never!

Chris: Seriously, I work hard. It takes a **lot **of hard work to get my hair just right for the cameras.

* * *

"New challenge!" Chris shouted, annoyed, bringing out a crate with a bunch of paintball guns in it, and tossing the guns to the contestants. "It's time for Paintball Deer Hunter. You all know the rules, right? Just shoot Heather." Chris looked around, and looked frustrated by what he saw… or more to the point, what he didn't see. "Now where's Heather? I don't see the real one or the fake one here!"

"Oh, Heather?" Leshawna asked, smirking. "She ran off when Gwen read her diary. Though I don't know where Gwen's at."

"That was Heather's diary?" Harold asked, both confused and irritated.

"Well, Gwen aka Heather was supposed to read Heather aka Gwen's diary. So… yeah," Leshawna said, a bit confused.

"Why would you do that?"

"White girl deserved it. You know what she did to us last year."

"Boobies," Harold said, looking to the sky, drooling a bit, before regaining composure. "Yes, I know what she did, but what has she done this year?"

"She posted that page from Gwen's diary all over the camp this morning!" Leshawna shouted, holding up one of the pages.

"She could be innocent," Harold said, shrugging. "We can't just blame her without any proof. Someone could be trying to frame her."

"Look," Leshawna said, looking sweetly into Harold's eyes, "I don't know who else could've done this. I understand if you don't want to just flat-out accuse her, but no one else would have any reason to try to frame Heather."

"What about Justin?" Harold asked. "Heather had him unfairly voted off last season, and Justin doesn't seem to like Gwen, either. Maybe he wanted to get back at both of them?"

Leshawna smiled. "You know, you're all right. I guess you've got a point. Justin does have a motive, I suppose." Leshawna gave Harold a hug, and Harold looked turned on.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: So I guess I'm Leshawna's boyfriend again. I hope Heather doesn't take the news too hard.

Leshawna: I'm kinda' hoping I didn't give string bean the wrong impression back there. Still, he did have a point about Justin, that very, **very **theoretically, he might possibly have a motive, but come on! There's optimism, and there's just being flat-out blind: Heather did it, no if's, and's, or but's about it. I mean, save for my beautiful bootylicious behind, that is.

* * *

"Campers!" Chris announced in front of the cabins, before all of the campers, minus Heather, Gwen, Courtney, and Lindsay. "I think we've had enough of these silly challenges for one day. But this challenge was like _Who's Line Is It Anyway?: _the points didn't matter. All that mattered was that you all stayed in character. I mean, duh, the whole point of the challenge!" Chris then looked to the cabins. "Nicole, come on out!"

A fairly short girl with curly dark brown hair going past her shoulders, heavily eye shadowed eyes, and slightly tanned skin walked out from behind the cabins. She was wearing a white tank top with a leather jacket over it, jeans, and short black high-heeled boots.

"Hi guys," Nicole smiled, waving to the campers. "I actually applied for this show, but couldn't get in this year," Nicole glared at Chris. "Apparently, you guys were so popular with the viewers, Chris decided to force you all to do another season." Nicole turned back to the campers, smiling. "I'm sorry about that. I think most of you are, too," she said with a smirk. "Anyway, Chris decided he needed an impartial judge for this challenge, and I thought I could do this fairly, so he let me onto the show-I guess you could already tell-and he let me judge how well you did portraying one another." Nicole then stepped down to smack Justin in the face. "For the record, you came in dead last. And that's even including Noah."

"I like this girl," Katie said, smiling brightly.

"Yeah, me too!" Sadie exclaimed, jumping up and down, holding Katie's hand.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Nicole: Seriously, Justin. The guy made an innocent mistake. I'll admit, I was upset too when I heard him say that, but come on! You were so clearly just using that as a convenient excuse to project your own thoughts without fear of repercussion.

Chris: I really didn't get that. Justin, the worst? Personally, I thought Justin did the best out of everyone. Really, he practically became one with Ezekiel out there.

* * *

"Anyway," Nicole continued, smiling still, holding a sheet of paper in her hand, "I will announce the top five. The team with at least three winners in that top five are safe tonight. The other team will have to vote off one of their own. You guys know how that works, though."

"You don't, though," Chris said, snatching the paper from Nicole. "I get to announce the list. You don't."

"That's not really fair," Nicole grumbled, crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out at Chris.

"In fifth place," Chris announced, "for portraying an all too close to real portrayal of the woman of steel, Leshawna earns a point for the Screaming Pansies!"

"Seriously, you were scary," Nicole said to Leshawna.

"I wasn't acting!" Leshawna complained.

"Of course you were," Nicole said, cheery. "I remember how awesome and friendly you were last year… nothing like that today!"

"Um… yeah," Leshawna said, confused, scratching her head.

"May I continue?" Chris asked, glaring at Nicole. "Thank you. In fourth place, because she was annoying when playing Mr. Annoying himself, Katie earns a point for the Killer Chrises, making the score one to one!"

Katie and Sadie squeed upon hearing the good news.

Nicole smiled at the girls. "I may not know what the guy's problem is, but you pulled it off nicely."

"Thank you!" Katie and Sadie exclaimed in unison, hugging Nicole, who blushed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Nicole: Do those two have boyfriends? I really like them… I wish there were a less awkward way of asking cute, nice girls out. (Nicole blushes.)

* * *

"The interruptions are getting annoying," Chris said, irritated. "In third place, for heaven knows why, Lindsay, putting the score at two to one in the Screaming Pansies favor."

"She was funny," Nicole said, shrugging. "What more can I say? Also stuck up for her friends, just like the real Leshawna does!"

"Thank you," Leshawna said, smiling. "I guess you're not so bad."

"A-hem!" Chris coughed. "Thank you. In second place, for being irritating, I guess, is Bridgette, tying the score at two to two."

"Bridgette did so well trying to mimic Izzy's perpetual motion and her yakety yak yak yakking at the speed of light," Nicole said, mimicking Izzy's rapid-fire speech patterns with her hand, then turned to Izzy. "Seriously, how do you and Courtney do that?"

"No one cares," Chris said, annoyed.

"Thank you," Bridgette said, smiling, going up to hug Nicole, causing her to blush again.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Nicole: Seriously, Bridgette looks like a goddess… no makeup, and she's still that hot! I know she has a boyfriend, though, and I would never try to tear them apart… not that it'd do any good, anyway. She's obviously straight and all, I mean.

* * *

"Seriously, shut up!" Chris shouted, then glared at Nicole. "I can always edit you out of this is you don't behave." Nicole motioned zipping her mouth shut. "Anyway, in first place, I'm guessing because she out-Heathered Heather, Gwen, putting the score at three to two in the Killer Chrises favor, meaning that they have finally won their first challenge!"

"I didn't really like when Gwen did that, but I had to vote fairly," Nicole said, smiling. "Where is she, anyway?"

"Hey," Harold said, annoyed. "If this was all fair, then how come all five of your votes were for girls?"

"Maybe because you guys all absolutely sucked at this?" Nicole said coyly. "Really, Harold, you kept doing challenges that Courtney would never do, Trent was absolutely clueless, Cody kept wimping out, Tyler couldn't pull off Justin at all, Owen sold out for jellybeans, Ezekiel was seriously creeping me out, Noah didn't even try, and Justin? The less said there, the better."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: This girl obviously has some sort of hatred for men, the pathetic loser. Probably some freakish lesbian.

Nicole: For the record, I don't hate men. Seriously, I have tons of guy friends back at home, but really, you saw how pathetic they did with the challenge? Can you really blame me here?

Izzy: I really wish we could've spent more time with this Nicole person. She seemed like she'd have been really fun. If I were a lesbian, I'd totally go out with her!

* * *

That night, the five Screaming Pansy girls were lounging around their cabin, back in their regular clothes. Courtney was pacing around, with Lindsay and Heather sitting on the floor, and Izzy and Leshawna in their beds.

"I suppose this was inevitable," Courtney said, looking worried. "We had to lose sooner or later."

"No one's gonna' miss Heather," Leshawna said, earning her glares from the other four girls.

"You've got some nerve," Courtney stated coldly, shooting a glare that made it clear Courtney wanted the girl dead.

"I really hope you all don't vote for me," Heather said, crying. "I swear I'm innocent."

"We know," Lindsay said, then glared at Leshawna. "At least most of us do."

"None of the guys are buying this act," Leshawna said, irritated. "I don't get why you're all falling for the same thing again this year. Am I the only one who remembers how this girl used and abused us all last year?"

"I remember," Lindsay said, irritated. "She deserves a second chance." Lindsay then gave Heather a tight hug. "I really hope you don't go."

"Thanks," Heather said, smiling slightly.

"Don't worry," Izzy said, beaming. "I'm going to find out who did this. I just know there's evidence somewhere, and if Kaleidoscope keeps up the search, she's going to find something very interesting. Like proof of who spread that page from Gwen's diary around the campground!" Izzy then jumped down from her bed to join in the hug, and started being more serious. "Heather, if it makes you feel better, I believe you're innocent. I hope you get to stay, too."

Courtney shrugged. "Why not?" She then joined in the group hug. "I'm sure you know how I feel. I mean, you're a strong player, and we need as many of those as we can get!" Leshawna used the moment to quietly exit the room.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: OK, I'll admit here that I'd really miss Heather if she were voted off, but I didn't really want to look weak in front of the enemy. And by that, of course, I'm referring to Leshawna. I don't want to go soft in front of her. And if Heather is eliminated tonight, so help me-

Leshawna: It was getting really annoying and sappy in that room. I needed a breather. (Leshawna rolls her eyes.)

* * *

Noah and Justin were getting ready for bed, both out of their cosplay outfits, neither really wanting to talk to the other, when they heard a knock at the door. Noah answered, and Bridgette, also back in her regular clothing, immediately pulled him by the ear outside.

"That hurt. What was that for, now?"

"Seriously, Noah," Bridgette said, looking pissed. "Apologize to Katie and Sadie already."

"Never!"

"You really hurt them," Bridgette said. "Especially Katie. She's usually all fun and giggly when we're getting ready for bed, but now she's just sulking in her bed, which is pulling Sadie down with her."

"Not my fault," Noah said, irritated. "Besides, it was-"

"Enough with the 'it was just for the challenge' excuse. No one's buying it."

"Well, she shouldn't be so annoying!"

"She's just a happy person. Or was, at least. And she's been trying to tone it down. Doesn't she get any credit for that?"

"How about she apologize to me?" Noah snapped.

"What did she do to you? Defend your honor when Chris was teasing you about being in love with Cody?"

"I am not!" Noah barked.

"Not the point," Bridgette said, looking more irritated. "That's not the way you treat a friend."

"I don't need friends!"

"Everyone needs friends. Look, I'm trying to help you out here-"

"No one asked you to."

"Actually, you did," Bridgette said, giggling a little. "You wouldn't have asked me for help if you didn't care."

"That was a mistake. Am I not allowed one?"

"I can go with you, OK?" Bridgette said, smiling. "You can apologize, and I'll be right by you for support. You can do this."

Noah looked like he was thinking it over for a moment before he answered. "Wait, why do I really need to think this over? I'm not doing it, and that's that!" Noah then went back into his cabin, slamming the door. Bridgette looked annoyed, but let it go before sneaking over to the campfire site, to watch the results, looking worried.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: I can't believe what Izzy did to Gwen today, and after the whole diary thing, too. That was just wrong on so many levels.

Trent: Some nerve Heather had, trying to make life miserable for my poor Gwen again! Heh… that rhymed. Gwen again.

Izzy: Trent, really, you're more spaced out than I am, even.

Heather: Leshawna, I'm sick and tired of you bullying me since last season. I don't even deserve that crap this year!

Courtney: Seriously… do you **really **not know who I'm voting for?

* * *

"Screaming Pansies," Chris said, smirking, "your team has finally lived up to its namesake, proving yourselves to be the pathetic losers that you are. Nothing but a bunch of screaming pansies."

"Watch yo' mouth!" Leshawna shouted, glaring at Chris.

"Touchy," Chris said, shrinking back. "Anyway, since this is your first time here, let me explain how this works."

"It's not our first time here, Chris," Courtney complained, rolling her eyes. "We were all here last year. We know how this works."

"Even I know how this works," Lindsay said, also rolling her eyes. "I even remember that the whole 'you can never come back ever' part was a lie."

"Shut up!" Chris whined. "Seriously, it's annoying how you guys do that. Anyway, when I call your name, come up to collect your marshmallow."

"Owen."

"Yeah!" Owen exclaimed, rushing up to get his marshmallow and immediately gobble it, then did a little jig. "I've been waiting all season for one of these babies!"

"Cody."

Cody walked up to receive his marshmallow, and Owen looked up with puppy dog eyes. Cody gave in and tossed the marshmallow into Owen's mouth. The other safe campers all did the same.

"Ezekiel."

"Tyler."

"Harold."

"Lindsay."

"Courtney."

"Trent."

"Leshawna."

Courtney and Lindsay glared viciously as Leshawna walked up to collect her marshmallow, but then both looked really worried when they saw the two campers left: Heather and Izzy.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I felt really bad. It was a lose-lose situation. Heather was a great friend, and certainly didn't deserve to go, but Izzy, even if she was annoying sometimes, was sweet too, and helping us prove that Leshawna framed Heather. I really hated that either of them was about to go.

* * *

"Campers," Chris said, smirking, "this is the final marshmallow of the night. The one of you who does not receive this marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers. The other is safe." Heather started crying, while Izzy, still looking worried, put her arm around Heather, trying to comfort her. "Campers, the final marshmallow goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Heather."

Heather looked stunned, then immediately turned to Izzy, whose eye was twitching.

"How?" Heather asked, confused. "How… why? Why would anyone vote off Izzy?" Heather turned to hug her friend. "I'm sorry, Izzy."

"That's bull!" Leshawna shouted, rushing over to Heather, removing her wig, and tossing it into the fire. Heather screamed, then started bawling.

"How could you do that?" Izzy said, angry, smacking Leshawna's face. "What did she deserve that for?"

"Um, hello, this morning?" Leshawna shouted, knocking on Izzy's head as if to indicate it was empty. "How was she not voted off?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Oh, good one, Leshawna. Real classy. As if it weren't obvious why you voted for Izzy: you were obviously afraid that she was gong to find proof that you spread Gwen's diary page around, and it was more important to get rid of Izzy as quickly as you could before she found what she needed, so you gave Heather a slight reprieve. Though I don't yet know how you got others to agree to vote for Izzy. I'll find out, though, mark my words! You are going down!

Bridgette: I was glad Heather got to stay. I really hope she and Gwen can make up, but Izzy? I certainly know she can get annoying, but she was such a good friend. I didn't really get that at all. I smelled something rotten, though.

* * *

"You killed her hair," Lindsay said, watching as the wig was being eaten by the fire, crying. "It was such beautiful hair."

"She deserved it!" Leshawna shouted. "Seriously, it's Heather!"

"Say, did anyone see where Izzy went, anyway?" Courtney asked, noticing that Izzy was no longer around.

OK," Chris said, looking worried. "Izzy seems to have disappeared. We really need to do something about that. As it stands though, I'd certainly say that it was, indeed, the most shocking elimination yet. Izzy. I didn't see that one coming. But why was Izzy voted off? And who pasted this page from Gwen's diary all over the camp?" Chris fake coughed a couple of times, throwing a "Heather" in between. "And who the heck gave that lame new kid permission to use the confessional? I sure didn't! So has the Screaming Pansies streak of good fortune ended, or have they just hit a small bump while the Killer Chrises continue their terrible loser losing ways? Find out the answers to these questions and more, as well as a bonfire ceremony that promises to be even more exciting than tonight's, next time on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

"Boo!" Izzy exclaimed, standing behind Bridgette, startling her.

"You scared me," Bridgette said, looking nervous.

"And you were spying," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Not a very good spy. You were worried for Heather, weren't you?"

"Well, yeah," Bridgette said, playing with her ponytail. "I was worried that she was going to get kicked off, and not have a chance to settle things with Gwen and everyone else. I don't know how Leshawna could burn her wig like that... I thought she was better than that. I'm really sorry you got kicked off, though. I really never would've imagined."

"Neither did I," Izzy said, looking irritated. "Someone's definitely got some insidious plot, though, and didn't want me to solve this little mystery. It'll take more than a litty bitty elimination to stop Kaleidoscope, though!"

"Good luck," Bridgette said, smiling. "I'll miss you. It'll be… well, less fun without you around. Zeke's going to miss you, too."

"Oh, don't worry," Izzy said. "I'll be back. If a restraining order and threats of prison aren't enough to keep Izzy away, pretty boy Chris certainly isn't going to stop me!"

The two hugged, and Bridgette cried a little as Izzy ran off into the night.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I'm really going to miss her. She made the place more interesting. In a good way, I mean. And she even let me see Geoff again.

Ezekiel: I'm really gooing to miss her, eh. She was so nice and pretty, and fun too.

* * *

Izzy entered the TV room of the Playa' des Losers, where the four ex-contestants were watching TV. "Watchin' anything good?" Izzy asked, spooking the four others, not realizing Izzy was in there with them.

"Don't scare us like that, please," Beth said meekly.

"I don't remember seeing you leave the island," DJ pointed out, confused.

"Oh, I don't need to use the boat," Izzy said, smirking. "Hey, did any of you catch who pasted all of those papers everywhere?"

"It was Heather," Beth stated, annoyed.

"Actually," DJ started, "Duncan and Geoff weren't around-you knew that, of course-and we were locked out of the TV room when that was going down. I think Chris knew what was going on."

Izzy looked furious. "So Chris **is **deliberately trying to screw with Heather. Though I say that like I didn't already know that. I don't know why, but I do know that Chris wouldn't do it himself. Legal problems with the host interfering like that, and all, and we all know how Chris fears lawsuits, but he's protecting someone. But who?"

"Probably just Heather," Duncan said, shrugging. "We all know what the girl's like."

"No," Izzy stated, trying to be as serious as she could be. "I really don't think it was Heather. Someone's out to get her, and with God as my witness, I shall not rest until I can prove whodunit." Izzy started laughing maniacally, as the other four just looked freaked out.

"Really, it was just Heather," DJ said, looking exasperated.

* * *

**Votes**

Cody: Heather  
Courtney: Leshawna  
Ezekiel: Heather  
Harold: Izzy  
Heather: Leshawna  
Izzy: Trent  
Leshawna: Izzy  
Lindsay: Lefawnda  
Owen: Izzy  
Trent: Heather  
Tyler: Izzy

Izzy: 4  
Heather: 3  
Leshawna: 3  
Trent: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy

Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Eva, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Noah, Sadie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Heather, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Trent, Tyler

* * *

It is, indeed, a dark, dark day, for Izzy has fallen, just to help reinforce the point that there's more to this elimination order than getting rid of my least favorites early on. Unfortunately, Izzy had to go, but before you get too depressed, keep in mind that Izzy has figured out how to sneak from Playa' des Losers to Camp Wawanakwa, and back again… let's just say Izzy's role is far from over.

As for why Izzy got all those votes… well, you'll have to wait and see. Probably about time that the Killer Chrises eventually won a challenge, anyway.


	11. Day 6, Part 1: Stupor Off Road

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 11: Day 6: Part 1: Stupor Off-Road**

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, smiling brightly, and making dramatic gestures as he was speaking. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _Heather finally broke down and got her revenge on Gwen, exposing some juicy dirt that she exposed to an international audience." Chris looked into the camera, with a serious expression on his face. "And yes, it was Heather." Chris then returned his smile. "Heather lied to her so-called friends, and the more gullible believed her. Who'd have guessed Courtney, of all people, would fall for such an obvious ploy?"

Chris walked to the other side of the dock. "Yesterday, the campers had to cosplay as each other, and get into each other's characters. The challenges didn't really matter: we just had them compete in those things to see if they behaved properly. Some did, like Gwen, who acted just like the real Heather, and Leshawna, who was more Eva than Eva. Which didn't really seem to be an act. Justin, of course, did the greatest job, though, perfectly getting Ezekiel's way overboard sexist attitude down, though for some reason, Nicole, this lame chick who sent in an application before it was decided we'd use the same twenty-two contestants this year, supposedly made unbiased choices in choosing the five campers who did the best job. Though since she did not choose Justin--or any men, for that matter--I suspect it wasn't so unbiased after all."

Chris started to look disgusted. "I did not like Nicole, but either way, the Screaming Pansies couldn't blame me, so it was good enough. The Screaming Pansies lost, and in a shocking vote, Izzy was voted off. Because," Chris started scratching his head, looking like he was thinking hard, "well, I have no idea! Still, it proves that sometimes, when I say 'most dramatic campfire ceremony ever,' I actually mean it! Seriously, no one saw that one coming! But will anyone see it coming tonight? Now that the Killer Chrises have finally won a challenge, can they make it two in a row? Are the Screaming Pansies' days of winning over? Will Heather do something else evil today? Find out the answer to these questions, as well as our most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, coming up now on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

_Gwen was trapped in a coffin, panicking to get out. She felt the space closing in on her, as she screamed and clawed and did all she could to hopefully escape, but to no avail. She was trapped. Though at least she was trapped with a doughnut, which was making her oddly comfortable. Gwen wasn't eating it, but just holding onto it like a precious antique her mother gave her. Eventually, after enough screaming and pleading with the people on the outside, someone opened the coffin and pulled Gwen out, embracing her._

"_You're OK," Heather said, smiling._

_Gwen was very confused. "You saved me?"_

"_Of course," Heather answered, giggling. "I wouldn't leave you to die!"_

"_Yes you would," Gwen said, irritated._

"_I was worried when that psycho killer tried to kill you," Heather said, still smiling._

"_Yeah," Gwen said, looking back. "I guess."_

"_Gwen," Heather said, looking down. "I really want you to know--"_

* * *

Gwen woke up, groggy, and mostly still out of it. "Weird dream," she said to herself, not really dwelling on it too much. She got out of bed slowly, dressing herself in her usual attire, noticing that none of the other girls were still asleep, and wondering where they all were. She didn't see the her cabin mates as she walked outside, but she did see three of the Pansy girls waiting.

"Ugh, what do you want?" Gwen said, glaring at the trio, then turned to Heather. "And how the heck did you survive last night?"

"I… well, I thought you might enjoy a doughnut and some coffee," Heather said, bald but smiling, holding a plate with a glazed doughnut on it, as well as a mug of coffee, over to Gwen. Courtney and Lindsay were with her, smiling.

"Seriously weird," Gwen muttered, before turning angry. "I'm guessing it's a laxative muffin, or something?"

"Um, no, it's a doughnut," Lindsay said, not remembering last season. "Duh." Gwen just rolled her eyes.

"Izzy brought it over from the Playa' des Losers," Courtney said, smiling politely. "She thought it would make for a good peace offering, something actually delicious. I mean, not that I could allow myself to be seen eating a pedestrian doughnut--"

"Didn't you gobble down six?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"No," Courtney said, looking guilty. "I think you're confusing me with Le… someone else," Courtney said, trying not to start an argument with Gwen about Leshawna.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay… so innocent, and so frustrating sometimes. Other than Leshawna, what other name could I throw out there? You? Heather? Izzy was voted off last night, so I couldn't… wait. (Courtney looks into the camera, slaps her face.) Of course I could've just said Izzy. She'd have bought that.

* * *

"Wait," Gwen said, taking in what she just heard. At least minus the parts about Courtney denying eating any doughnuts. "Izzy was voted off? How could you vote Izzy off when **she's **still here?" Gwen said, pointing accusingly at Heather, sounding like she'd vomit upon mentioning the "she."

"Well, I voted for Leshawna," Courtney stated proudly, earning herself a vicious glare from Gwen as well.

"The votes weren't exactly under lock and key," Heather said, shrugging. "Izzy said she didn't want to publicly announce who voted for whom, but she did say she was surprised and confused." Heather then looked to Courtney, smirking. "She did say you did indeed for Leshawna, though."

"Big surprise," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"I have nothing to hide," Courtney said indignantly.

"Except for six doughnuts," Gwen said, chuckling. Courtney turned red.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Can someone remind me why I'm helping out Gwen, again?

* * *

"Katie, Sadie," Ezekiel said, looking down, with Katie, Sadie, and Izzy standing by, "I'm really soory about what I said last year about girls. Guys really aren't smarter and stroonger than girls. My Dad just always said we were though, eh."

Sadie started tearing up, and immediately glomped the home-schooled guy. "I'm sorry we got mad! It kind of hurt, though."

"Yeah, it did," Katie snapped, looking less pleased. "So what if your Dad said we were weak and pitiful? No one made you listen to him!" Ezekiel hid his head under his tuque.

"You sure do that a lot," Izzy said to Ezekiel, giggling.

"I'm sorry about Katie," Sadie said, smiling at Ezekiel. "She's a little upset because of Noah."

"Am not!" Katie spat. "I don't care about him! Not at all!" Sadie, Ezekiel, and Izzy all rolled their eyes.

"Katie, you can't fool me," Sadie said, still smiling. "I know you too well."

"Do not!" Katie stormed off, nowhere in particular, but just to get away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: I'm really not trying to egg Katie on. I just… urgh! She and Noah are just so inordinately stubborn!

Chris: Izzy, I know you were here today. Seriously, that's not allowed.

Izzy: Or what? I'll lose the chance at the $1 million? Darn shame, uh-huh.

Chris: OK, I'm really going to need to make sure a certain someone doesn't confess a certain something in this booth. I don't even really know who I like the least, anymore. (Chris shakes his head after putting his hand on his forehead.)

* * *

"Are you all right?" Cody asked, noticing Katie sitting on the step outside her cabin, crying. Cody handed her a tissue.

"Thanks," Katie said, crying, blowing her nose into it. "I really hope you're not trying to rub it in."

"Rub what in?" Cody asked, confused, sitting down next to her.

"Good answer," Katie said, smiling a little, crying a bit less. "Everyone's teasing me about liking Noah."

"You don't like him?" Cody asked, surprised.

"No," Katie said, irritated.

"Then I won't talk about that," Cody said, smiling.

"He thinks he's **so **smart," Katie complained. "And he thinks everyone else is **so **dumb. He was obviously smart enough to figure out that he could sit out on that dodge ball game last year, and everyone was just going to be all right with that. No, oh wait." Katie made a fake-shocked face. Cody looked confused, as Katie rambled on. "And I guess last year, he was just pretending to be nice and keep me company at the Playa' des Losers, while Sadie was still in the game, because he thought I was stupid, and I needed someone to comfort me while I was away from Sadie. Or I thought, but no, I guess in his mind, he was just doing it to mock me behind my back, like I was some sort of stupid person who couldn't handle being by herself. Well look at me now, Noah! I'm by myself, and I'm damn fine! You happy?!" Cody was slowly backing away as Katie started bawling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (crying) Noah's just stupid. That's all.

Cody: (smirking) Yeah, I could really tell she didn't like Noah.

Sadie: It was horrible, watching Katie like that. She's just been so miserable.  
Bridgette: And Sadie was getting lonely.  
Sadie: Bridgette's so sweet, though. Even though I'm supposed to not like her--  
Bridgette: I thought that was over.  
Sadie: Oh yeah. Bridgette started keeping me company.  
Bridgette: I wish I knew what I could do for Katie.  
Sadie: So do I.

* * *

"Can't catch the hurdle queen!" Izzy proclaimed as she leapt over Chris, standing in front of the cabins, with Chef crashing straight into him. "Ha ha!"

"Chef!" Chris shouted. "Great! Now I need to fix my hair again! Just great! Get that whack-job off the island, already! Sheesh!" Chef growled, then stormed off after Izzy, except he couldn't find where she went. "Just find her and eliminate her!" Chris shouted, angry.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: I swear, you can't find good help these days. At least not good help that doesn't ask for a bigger paycheck. I mean, I'm sure as hell not taking a pay cut!

* * *

"Where did Chris go?" Noah asked, not far from the cabins. "I thought he was about to announce our next challenge. Not that I really care much."

"That's too bad," Bridgette said, smiling brightly. "Now you've got plenty of time to apologize to Katie."

"You can't make me," Noah said, crossing his arms. Bridgette started to giggle. "What? Why are you laughing? Stop laughing! I don't like it!"

"I can't make you apologize," Bridgette said innocently, playing with her ponytail, "but you know that expression about how you can force a horse to go to water?"

"That's not exactly--" Noah started, then went wide-eyed. "No! You can't make me!" Noah complained, as Bridgette started dragging Noah behind her, headed toward Katie. "This isn't right!"

"You're going to be miserable until you do this," Bridgette complained. "And this would be easier if you'd actually walk!"

"No!" Noah shouted, crossing his arms as his body was being dragged across the ground. "Besides, I'm winning!" Noah said, holding tightly onto a passing rock.

"How are you winning?" Bridgette asked, irritated. "You're miserable."

"No!" Noah barked, then thought for a moment. "OK, maybe I am. But I can hold out longer than she can!"

"Is that really what this is about?" Bridgette asked, pulling Noah's legs with both of her arms, struggling to loosen Noah's grip. "Winning?"

"Yes!"

"And it's going to make you feel good to win against a poor girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown?!" Bridgette said, glaring angrily.

"I did nothing wrong!"

"Calling her and Sadie 'the two stupidest people on the planet?' ring a bell? That home viewers hate them?" Bridgette said, angry.

Noah looked nervous. "It's not my fault the show's audience doesn't like them. It's not like they hate them, either." Noah was twiddling his fingers, being dragged by Bridgette still. "I mean, I've seen a whole lot of fans online who want Courtney dead, and almost as many who want Gwen dead. Katie and Sadie don't seem to inspire that hatred."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Noah would search for that sort of stuff, but it kind of creeps me out, the thought that people are writing stories and drawing art about me. I don't really want to see it.

Noah: Me and Katie? Me and Heather? Me and Cody? You guys putting that stuff online are sick, you know that!

* * *

"So? Why did you need to tell Katie?"

"Because," Noah said, thinking for a moment. "Because!"

"And why did you call them the stupidest people on the planet?"

"Well," Noah said, wishing the torture would end, "well they are!"

"Katie's very intelligent," Bridgette said, looking annoyed.

"You're not much of a comedian," Noah said flatly.

"Ha ha." Bridgette rolled her eyes. "Maybe you should get to know her better." Bridgette then threw Noah in front of Katie, who was crying, but looked up when she heard him thump before her. Katie didn't look pleased, though.

"What do you want?" Katie snapped.

"Um… what's the derivative of thirty-seven?" Bridgette slapped her face and Katie cocked an angry eyebrow.

"What are you talking about? Like, math stuff?"

"See, she doesn't know!" Noah excitedly told Bridgette. "She doesn't know!"

"It's zero. What's this all about, anyway?" Katie looked more confused than anything else.

Noah looked surprised for a second, then sulked. "Lucky guess. The answer to every maths question is zero."

"Well, it was just a constant," Katie said, irritated. "That's about all I remember about that calculus stuff."

"Knew it," Noah said, smirking.

"So I'm not great with math," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "I suppose that makes me an idiot."

Well," Noah started, but then looked to Bridgette, glaring at the bookworm. "Well, no. I guess being less intelligent than me does not automatically make one an imbecile."

"Well whoop-dee-doo," Katie said flatly, twirling a finger in the air.

"I'm sorry," Noah whispered.

"Wait, what?" Katie asked, confused.

"I'm sorry," Noah said a little louder.

"I can't hear you," Katie said coyly.

"I'm sorry," Noah said in a slightly quiet indoor voice.

"I'm sorry, can you speak up?" Katie said, smirking, putting her hand to her ear. "These old ears can't hear as well as they used to."

"Seventeen is old?" Bridgette said, smirking.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Noah shouted. Sadie could be heard squeeing from somewhere not too far away. Noah slapped his face after realizing how loud he was. Bridgette started giggling, and Katie glomped him, knocking them both to the ground.

"Thank you," Katie said softly, smiling, just resting on him for several seconds.

"May I please get up now?" Noah eventually asked, sounding both happy and irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I'm still a bit sore that Noah wasn't as happy as I thought he was at the Playa' des Losers last year, but I'm really hoping we can get a fresh start. He's so nice when he's not being mean.

Noah: Katie was irritating last year, but it was also sweet of her to keep me company. It was nice that someone was willing to try to reach out to me, I suppose.

* * *

"Where's Courtney?!" Eva bellowed, storming around the campsite, as she was passing Katie, Noah, and Bridgette. "And Heather! How could they have survived last night?!"

"I think I'd better go and help," Bridgette said, sighing. She smiled at Katie and Noah, then rushed off, calling out to Eva.

"I guess you'd like your book back?" Katie asked, smirking.

"Yes," Noah said, a bit irritated. "Please."

"It was kinda' boring, anyway," Katie said, shrugging.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: A calculus book, really? Who actually reads a calculus book for fun? Who even uses calculus in real life, anyway? Scientists--**maybe**--and who else?

Noah: (holding up his book) Why do you think I haven't finished the book yet? Advanced calculus is heavy material.

* * *

"Why do you want them dead?" Bridgette asked, trying to calm Eva down.

"You know why," Eva grumbled. "Heather got me kicked off last year."

"The iPod thing," Bridgette said to herself.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: We've pulled some strings with our advertisers this season. I get a big bonus from Apple every time our contestants mention their products, ha ha! (Chris pulls up a small TV, and replays Bridgette's iPod line over and over.)

* * *

"Zune, actually," Eva grumbled.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (irritated) Of course, we're going to have to edit that one out.

* * *

"I really think she's changed, though," Bridgette said, smiling.

Eva scowled, though. "It's an act. She's taking you in for suckers! I can't believe the lot of you! I know Lindsay's an idiot, but I really would've thought she'd have learned from last year."

Bridgette stopped smiling. "Lindsay's smarter than you're giving her credit for. And I really wish you'd give Heather another chance."

"She doesn't deserve it!" Eva growled. "She deserves my wrath!"

"Please," Bridgette tried pleading, but to no avail. Bridgette tried dragging Eva away, as she did with Noah earlier, but to no surprise, Eva just wound up dragging Bridgette along with her.

"That actually helps give my muscles a workout," Eva said, chuckling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: Look, I know Bridgette's trying to help me, and Heather and Courtney… she's nice like that. Some people just can't be helped through peaceful means, though.

* * *

"Are these people bothering you?" Leshawna shouted, walking up to Gwen, sneering at the other girls.

"It's OK," Gwen answered, glaring at Heather. "We were just talking."

"Haven't you three done enough?!"

"But I didn't do anything!" Lindsay exclaimed, looking as if she were about to cry.

"None of us three did," Courtney said, glaring evilly at Leshawna.

"I wouldn't mind if those three went away, though," Gwen said, annoyed.

"We're not leaving!" Courtney said indignantly.

"Not now," Heather said, tugging Courtney's arm. "We can try again later."

"No you ain't!" Leshawna proclaimed, putting her hands on her hips.

"Yes we will!" Courtney turned to shout back, still walking away with Heather and Lindsay, both holding her hands.

After the trio could no longer be seen, Gwen finally spoke up, scratching the back of her head. "Leshawna, I hate to ask, but--"

"Heather did it," Leshawna growled.

"And you had nothing to do with it?"

"Heather did it."

"Thank you," Gwen said, hugging her friend, who hugged back. "I just wanted to make sure."

"No problem," Leshawna replied. "I'm only trying to protect you from that wicked, cruel, heartless, skank of a girl."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: I really wonder who did that to poor Gwen?  
Katie: Heather, obviously.  
Sadie: But she seems so nice. At least now.  
Katie: It's an act. She needs to pretend she's nice if she wants any chance of winning this year, after all. Everyone remembers how horrible she was last year.  
Sadie: (smirking) But Noah's nice.  
Katie: (blushing) He apologized.  
Sadie: So did Heather.  
Katie: Not the point!

Harold: I really believe Heather's changed. It seems likely that Courtney spread that page around. I mean, she's jealous of Gwen. That's probably why she's been hanging around Heather. I really don't understand why Heather can't find better friends than her. Though I guess it's possible Justin wanted revenge, too.

Heather: I was really surprised that Courtney, of all people, was the first person who was open to me this year, and believed that I could really have changed this year. As bossy and uptight as she can be, she's got a good heart.

* * *

"You!" Eva yelled, pointing in Heather's and Courtney's direction.

"You really shouldn't do this," Bridgette weakly pleaded, as if she weren't really expecting Eva to listen.

"I must!" Eva shouted, lunging toward Heather, who was running in fear of her life.

"I'm sorry," Bridgette said, crying a bit, as Courtney noticed Heather's panic, and started seething. Courtney stormed off into the girls' side of the Killer Chrises' cabin, and exited with Eva's bag of dumbbells, held high above her head, which she hummed straight at Eva's head, right before she was about to grab Heather, knocking her out cold.

"I'd better put those back," Courtney said. "She'll probably get angry if she notices they're not in exactly the same place she left them."

"You really think she'd notice?" Bridgette asked, smiling, cocking an eyebrow.

"I'd notice," Courtney said, then turned to Heather. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," Heather said, looking nervously at the unconscious Eva. "At least for now. When did you get so strong, anyway?"

"Yeah," Courtney said, collapsing to the ground. "I'm pretty strong when I get angry enough. And seeing Eva trying to kill you for no reason set me off, I guess."

"She's still mad about the iPod thing," Bridgette stated flatly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Cha-ching!

* * *

"Thank you," Heather said, smiling. "Wish I were more physically capable. Really, you're stronger, faster, smarter--"

"And you're nicer," Courtney smiled. "At least this year."

"You're nicer too this year," Lindsay finally spoke up. "You were always so angry last year, and now, you're less angry."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: (rubbing her head) I'm going to need help dealing with Courtney. And they call me iron woman!

* * *

"Campers," Chris said, smirking before the contestants in front of the cabins once more, "today you are going to be competing in a series of off-road races. Both teams currently have two legal drivers. You can decide who's up first, but you'll be taking turns with each race. Best of seven wins invincibility, and the planes are ready." Chris then whipped out a box of pizza. "Owen, this is yours if you get on the plane without complaining."

"I can behave," Owen said, eyeing the pizza.

"Once again, the people who aren't driving are going to be taking turns riding in the trucks. That's not an option, either, and no riding with the enemy!" Chris glared at Courtney. "And if we're all ready, let's get boarding!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Owen: That was terrifying, and it so wasn't worth it. The pizza only had vegetable topping on it and it was cold. (Owen takes out a slice of the pizza and starts eating it.) But then, I guess it's still better than not having any pizza.

* * *

"And we have arrived at the Maclaine Arena!" Chris exclaimed, landing the plane.

"I've always wondered how his last name was spelled," Gwen said, reading the name of the arena, in big letters at the top, spelled MacClean.

"That's wrong!" Chris shouted, irritated. "They misspelled my name!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: How was I supposed to know how pretty boy spelled his name? I've tried looking it up, and I get a dozen or so different spellings! He should've just told me when I asked, instead of just teasing and telling me to Google it.

* * *

"And now, if we may disembark in an orderly fashion," Chris said, smirking. "And that doesn't mean to bark like a dog," Chris quickly added, glaring at Lindsay.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Well, that's just mean. Why would Cory tell us all to bark if he doesn't really mean it? I mean, that's just not very nice.

* * *

Once again, Chris was disappointed that the contestants were all exiting the plane in an orderly fashion, so once again, Chris pushed Lindsay into Courtney and Heather.

"I'm sorry guys," Lindsay said, crying a little. "I didn't mean to trip like that."

"I saw that, Chris," Katie said, glaring. "You pushed Lindsay into them."

"Wait, he did?" Lindsay said, blinking. "Why would Chuck do that?"

"He has a sick, twisted mind," Courtney grumbled, picking herself up.

"I think it might be a good day for kickball. Don't you agree, Chris," Katie said, shooting Chris a glare of pure evil.

"Yeah… sorry Lindsay," Chris said quickly, and very irritated.

"You really shouldn't do that, Katie," Noah said, leaving Katie confused.

"But he was picking on Lindsay," Katie said, looking down. "He can't get away with that."

"True," Noah said, looking to the side. "But just… that's just a low blow to a guy."

"OK," Katie said, looking sweetly, hugging him.

"I know Chris deserves it sometimes, but it's just painful to watch."

"Then I won't do that."

"I'm so glad you two are friends again!" Sadie exclaimed. "Eeeiii!"

"I think we should wait until we're off the plane at least to do that," Katie said, smiling back.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: See, I told everyone that Katie was the smart one.  
Katie: Thank you, that's so sweet! You're the nice one, though.  
Sadie: Aww, you're nice too.  
Katie: I have a bit of a temper though. You don't stay angry for as long.  
Sadie: Aww, that's so sweet of you.  
Katie: I know!Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

* * *

Chris had a map of a dirt road race track shaped like a capital letter I, with a few bumps on the road, put on an easel. "We like to call this track Fundango!" Chris exclaimed, laughing at his own "joke." Noah looked skeptical. "You know, Fundango? Because it'll be fun?"

"There's something familiar about this," Noah said to himself.

"Looks like a race to me," Katie said, shrugging. "Aside from a lot of dirt, it looks like any other race. I can do this!" Katie exclaimed confidently.

"I know!" Sadie agreed. "You're like the best driver around!" The two squeed, though Katie stopped short when she remembered Noah was nearby.

"I'm sorry about that one," Katie looked down, shyly.

Noah shrugged. "I guess… if you and Sadie enjoy that, and you do it once it a while--"

"You're the best!" Katie exclaimed, glomping Noah. "Well, both you and Sadie, anyway."

"So, it'll be you, me and Sadie together?"

"Of course!" Katie exclaimed, beaming.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: She's a sweet girl, really. (Noah suddenly looks more stern.) And I'm not going soft!

* * *

"Surprising, to me, anyway, you're the better driver," Courtney said to Lindsay, patting her on the shoulder. "So you should do more of these races than I should drive in."

"Thanks," Lindsay said, beaming.

"We're not going to be able to have the same people riding with you each time, though," Courtney added. "We have too many people on our team for that."

"I'll go with Lindsay first," Heather said, smiling brightly.

"I'll go too!" Owen said, then farted. "Sorry."

"Not you, Owen," Courtney said, irritated. "Whoever rides in this race is going to have to ride in a guaranteed second race, and possibly even a third! No one wants to be trapped in a car with you for any longer than we have to. You're going third, along with Harold."

"Why do I have to be trapped with him?" Harold asked, irritated.

"Because if someone has to die, you're the most expendable!" Courtney shouted.

"Come on, Courtney," Heather said, smiling. "I'll take him with me and Lindsay now. I'll keep him in line, promise!"

"Well, OK," Courtney said, confused, but softening her position. "We still need another person to ride with you, since there's no way we'll be able to fit a fourth with Owen. Not that we'd want to tor… actually, never mind that." Courtney said, with an evil smirk on her face. "Tyler, why don't you go with Lindsay? Moral support and all."

"Sure," Tyler said, happy to be riding with Lindsay.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Tyler really isn't my type, but he's a nice enough guy. Better than Harold, for sure… I'm not sure why Heather thinks he deserves another chance after the evil things he did to me last year, though.

* * *

Katie was in a red "Boyota" pickup truck, with Boyota written in big letters on the sides, the truck waiting at the bottom of the capital I with red and white-striped walls, with Noah in the passenger seat, and Sadie sitting in the back. Next to them was Lindsay in a green Boyota pickup truck, with Tyler in the passenger seat, and Heather and Harold in the back.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: If a certain truck company wasn't going to pay to have us advertise their trucks, we weren't about to just give them free advertising.

Noah: Boyota? Seriously? I'm pretty sure the (censored) company won't be complaining about this so-called lack of free advertising.

* * *

"Weren't these the same configurations of people used for the monster truck challenge?" Noah asked. "And another truck challenge, at the same arena? Has Chris run out of all creativity?"

"Of course," Katie answered, smiling.

"But that other one wasn't at the Maclaine Arena," Sadie said, looking confused. "Actually, what was the name of that one?"

"It was the same place," Noah answered. "Just didn't have a name yet the last time."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Hey, just because we hadn't put up the sign yet didn't mean it didn't have a name!

* * *

"Now," Chris announced, up high in the stadium, speaking through a loudspeaker system, "it's the Killer Pansies in the red truck, and the Screaming Chrises in the green truck! And when I shoot this gun into the air, that's the signal for Katie and Lindsay to start driving. The first to complete four laps wins the race!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Apparently Chris can't even remember the names of our teams anymore.

* * *

Chris shot the gun into the air, which shot a bullet into the ceiling, shocking Chris. The red and green trucks were off, though.

"Blanks, Chef, blanks!" Chris whined.

Down on the track, Katie was aggressively taking turns on the left side of the I, with Lindsay taking the turns a bit more cautiously, and as such, falling behind slightly.

"She's tough," Lindsay said, looking determined.

"You're tough too, though. Like a tough toughie!" Tyler said, smiling, feeling proud of his pep talk. Heather and Harold looked confused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: Tyler's enthusiasm is better than his apparent lack of mad thesaurus skills.

* * *

Both Katie and Lindsay easily flew over a large bump toward the upper-left side of the I, though Lindsay still wasn't cornering tightly enough to pull ahead of Katie.

"Go, Katie, go!" Noah exclaimed, with rare enthusiasm.

"You're doing great!" Sadie agreed. "This is like so much fun, racing with my best friend in the whole wide world, and her boyfriend!"

"Boyfriend?!" Katie and Noah exclaimed, in unison, both looking a bit uncomfortable.

Chef waved a flag by the starting line as Katie's truck crossed for her first lap, followed shortly by Lindsay's truck, as Lindsay was still having trouble keeping up.

"You need to corner tighter!" Harold complained inside the green truck.

"I **know **that," Lindsay shot back, glaring at Harold.

"Look out!" Harold shouted, as Lindsay narrowly avoided hitting a striped wall. "Seriously, it's basic geometry. Tighter cornering--"

"I **know that!**" Lindsay shouted, irritated. "I know how to drive! Just how stupid do you think I am?"

"Have a little faith in Lindsay," Heather said, smiling, putting a hand on Harold's shoulder.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: Why would Lindsay know anything about geometry? I'm sure she failed it.

Lindsay: (irritated) If Henry keeps treating me like some idiot, I may start encouraging Courtney to take out her anger on him.

* * *

Lindsay, getting frustrated, wound up taking a turn too tightly at the lower-right bend of the I as Katie finished her second lap, though Lindsay's truck just kind of harmlessly bounced off the wall, and the truck seemed to take no damage.

"See what you made me do?!" Lindsay yelled at Harold.

"That was strange," Heather said, noticing that none of them were hurt. "Shouldn't that have caused at least some sort of damage?"

"Hmm," Lindsay hummed to herself, as she was backing up to continue driving. "These must be magic cars! I've always wanted a magical crash-proof car!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Either that, or the walls are 'specially made to cushion blows to extreme levels. Sure, we had to give Chef a pay cut to afford the expense, but I think it was well worth it. I mean, not that I really care for their safety, but it doesn't make for good TV if the competition is over after only the first race.

Chef: Damn kids should've just been left to die!

* * *

Chef threw a tied-up bag with a dollar sign on it, which Katie noticed as she was about to complete her third lap.

"What's that?" Sadie asked. "Is that like a bag filled with money?"

"It looks like it!" Katie exclaimed, as she stopped the truck to get out and collect the money bag.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Noah said, worried.

"Relax," Katie said, smirking. "We're way--what?!" The three Killer Chris members just saw Lindsay racing toward them, and past them. "But they crashed! How is that possible?!" Katie rushed back into the truck, and tailed Lindsay.

"Why were they stopped?" Heather asked, looking behind them.

"Who cares? We're ahead! I knew you could do this, babe!" Tyler exclaimed as he started making out with Lindsay, who was pulling away.

"Not now, I'm driving!" Lindsay shouted, irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I'm sorry, Tyler. It's just… were you insane?! I was driving in a race, for crying out loud!

* * *

"We're gaining!" Sadie exclaimed, bouncing in her seat in the back.

"Not fast enough," Katie stated flatly. "It's wall-hugging time!"

"That sounds so cute," Sadie said, smiling brightly.

"I don't like the sound of this," Noah said, looking nervous, though his worries didn't matter. Katie's truck was grinding with the wall on the inside of the I, gaining quickly on Lindsay.

"You need to corner more tighter," Harold said. "Gosh!"

"Look, it's easy to just say that! It's harder to actually do it!" Lindsay shouted, angry. "If you're such an incredible driver, why don't you have a license yet?!" Harold backed down.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: Really, what's Lindsay's problem? I think Courtney's been rubbing off on her.

Lindsay: What's Hank's problem?! Is he just mad because I'm friends with Courtney, or what?!

* * *

Katie was about to pass Lindsay, as Lindsay noticed, and pulled in front of her, having Katie's truck accidentally push Lindsay's truck over the finish line, making Lindsay the winner of the first race.

"You did it!" Heather cheered, rushing out of the car, and picking up Lindsay, without much success.

"I'm not that heavy, am I?" Lindsay said, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: I don't want to become a muscle-bound freak, mind you, but it might do me good to work out a little, anyway.

* * *

Tyler was trying to look happy, but also looking a bit down. "We can make out now," Lindsay quietly told him, exciting Tyler, as the two started making out on the ground.

"We can do that too," Harold said, looking at Heather.

"Um, no," Heather said, irritated. "You **could **be a little nicer to Lindsay, though." Heather started walking away.

"What did I do?" Harold asked.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Harold's pretty nice, but how easy a girl does he think I am? (Heather looks down at her attire.) OK, I guess this makes the wrong impression. I like being flirty, OK?

* * *

"Argh!" Katie yelled, scaring Sadie and Noah a little. "We were so close!"

"I hope that money stop was worth it," Noah said, irritated. "How much was in there, anyway?"

Sadie opened the bag, and looked inside. "It's a whole lot of Monopoly money," Sadie said, looking irritated, grabbing a fistful from the bag.

"Great!" Katie shouted. "Just great! Now we're going to lose, and everyone's going to blame me!"

"Well, it was your fault," Noah said, irritated. Katie started crying, and Sadie looked at him disapprovingly. Noah then sighed, and put a hand on Katie's shoulder. "Look, you can still make up for it later on, right?"

"I guess," Katie said, looking up. "I'm sorry I fell for that money bag trick. I should've known better."

"Yes, you should've, but it's too late now," Noah said, trying to sound comforting. "We'll beat Lindsay next time."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: That sounded really, really lame. Still, it was bothering me seeing Katie down on herself like that, for some reason.

Katie: (beaming) Noah's so sweet when he's not being a complete and utter jerk!

* * *

Courtney was behind the wheel of a green pickup truck, with Trent in the passenger seat, and Cody and Ezekiel in the back. Justin was behind the wheel of a red pickup truck, with Eva longingly looking at him from the passenger seat, and Bridgette and Gwen sitting in the back. They were both at the starting line on a circular track, with a lot of boulders stacked upon each other throughout the course.

"You two are going to be competing a track that I like to call Boulders Kill," Chris announced from his booth, laughing. "Because, you know, boulders kill. And those boulder columns can make it hard to see where you're going, so good luck. You'll be needing it." Chris shot his gun into the air, and another bullet crashed through the ceiling. "Blanks, Chef! You were supposed to replace these with blanks!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Must have forgot. Heh, heh.

* * *

Justin slowly drove around, while Courtney was having an easier time. "How is it hard to see around these boulders, exactly?" Courtney asked, cocking an eyebrow toward Chris' booth, as she swerved effortlessly around the columns.

"Damn it!" Chris shouted from his booth, then turned the microphone off. "Why was I thinking they'd have trouble seeing around the columns, again?" he asked, scratching his head.

Justin was having trouble with the small bumps in the road, though. Eva wasn't paying much attention to his driving, though Bridgette and Gwen were looking nervously at each other.

"Be careful!" Gwen shouted. "Knowing Chris, these boulders aren't balanced on each other very well."

"Thank you, backseat driver!" Justin shouted back, rolling his eyes. "You think I want to crash and ruin this perfect complexion? Huh? Do you? Then just shut up!"

"We've already lost one race!" Gwen shouted. "If you have to drive at least three more, our team is screwed! Now hit the gas!"

"OK, OK, sheesh!" Justin complained. "Anything to shut you up!" Gwen was just growling to herself in the back.

Courtney was doing fine, though, zigzagging effortlessly around the boulders, completing her second lap, and even lapping Justin.

"Maybe you should slow down," Trent said, looking nervous. "I mean, we should be sporting, right? Give the other team a chance to catch up and all, right?"

Courtney glared at Trent. "How is throwing the race sporting, exactly?"

"Well, you know," Trent said, rubbing his neck, "making the score tied, give both teams a chance to come back and win?" Courtney looked at him like he had an arm growing out of his face.

"He wants Gwen to win, eh?" Ezekiel said from the back, sounding pretty confident in his answer.

"Oh, her," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "Look, it's more important that we win and protect Heather from getting voted off."

"Why?" Trent asked, confused. "She's been mean to all of us."

"She hasn't done anything this year!" Courtney yelled.

"Exposing Gwen's diary to the world--again?" Trent asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That was Leshawna!" Courtney screamed from the top of her lungs, her anger not really affecting her driving performance still. Chef threw out another bag marked with a dollar sign on it as Courtney was about to complete her third lap, though she didn't even seem to notice it.

"Leshawna's like the nicest person here," Trent said, getting irritated.

"Nicer than Gwen?" Cody asked, smirking. Trent slouched down in his seat.

"Throwing someone off of a thousand-foot cliff is not exactly what I call nice!" Courtney shouted.

"You're not really one to talk," Trent said, fully irritated, "Little Miss Strangle-Harold-with-a-Lamppost."

"Yes, I've got some issues!" Courtney shouted. "So does Leshawna! So why does she get all this praise, while I get crapped on?!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: For the record, I don't feel it's fair to single someone out here as the nicest person here. I mean, I know it's not me--I'm trying to work on that--but it's not Leshawna either, and I would like to believe I'm at least nicer than she is!

* * *

Justin was driving faster, as per Gwen's request, when he spotted the bag of money, and Justin looked like he desperately wanted it.

"Um, don't you remember when Katie went for the money?" Bridgette asked, but was being ignored, as Justin rushed the truck over to pick up the money… a little too fast. Justin crashed into one of the boulder columns, sending the topmost boulder off, and onto the driver's seat of the car. Onto Justin.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I should have felt bad for Justin there. Is it wrong that I was happy to see that happen? I mean, I'm glad Gwen wasn't hurt, at least. Or the other people in the truck.

* * *

Chef was dragging Justin out onto a stretcher as Courtney completed her final lap. "Victory!" Courtney exclaimed, as she jumped out of the truck, with Ezekiel and Cody cheering her on. "Ew, don't touch me," she snapped at Ezekiel, and slapped him.

Trent rushed over to the red truck to see if Gwen was all right. "Gwen!" Trent called out, as she emerged, a bit shaken but not hurt. "Gwen!" Trent cried as he embraced her. "I was so worried that you got hurt!"

"I'm fine," Gwen said, smiling. "Thank you for worrying about me, anyway."

"Is Bridgette OK?" Courtney asked, walking over to the red truck. Bridgette managed to make her way out of the truck, a bit bruised, and with a cut on her leg, but otherwise in decent shape. "Thank goodness!" Courtney exclaimed as she hugged her friend.

"Justin's in pretty bad shape," Bridgette said, looking worried.

"That creep? Who cares," Courtney said, shrugging.

"He may be a creep, but I don't really want him to die."

"Hey, Bridgette!" Ezekiel exclaimed. "I'm glad you're OK, eh?"

"Shut up!" Courtney shouted, pulling Bridgette away. "Don't worry, Bridge. I won't let that sexist creep bother you."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Yes, I know that wasn't nice, but he's a sexist pig! Associating with the likes of him could ruin any possible future political ambitions I may have.

Bridgette: Courtney, a bit overprotective much? I think I could handle myself against Ezekiel. I mean, if I didn't want him around, anyway. (Bridgette smiles innocently.)

* * *

"And the Screaming Pansies have won the second race!" Chris proclaimed from his booth. "The boulders didn't make for as poor of visibility as I had hoped, but we did get some awesome carnage out of it, so I can't complain! But the Screaming Pansies are way ahead, at two to zip. Will Justin be all right to race on the fourth track? Can the Killer Chrises come back from behind the snatch victory from the jaws of defeat? Will Courtney ever shut up and just admit that Heather spread Gwen's diary around the campground? Find out these answers, plus our most dramatic campfire ceremony ever, coming up on _Total Drama Chris!"_ Chris then looks at his gun, looking irritated. "And get me some blanks while we're waiting!"

* * *

"Does anyone know what Izzy's been doing?" DJ asked, looking at Geoff, Duncan, and Beth, who were in the TV lounge. "She's been in that big group room ever since she got back from the island, keeping it locked, only coming out to take some plywood in with her after some delivery people set it outside the room."

"She's like building something," Geoff said, scratching his hat.

"Don't really know what, or care, for that matter," Duncan said, shrugging.

"I thought she was trying to find proof that Heather posted Gwen's diary to the world," Beth said, confused. "Is this part of her plan?"

"Again, don't know, don't care," Duncan said, picking up an automobile magazine.

"I thought Izzy was trying to prove that Heather didn't do it," Geoff said, confused.

"Same thing," Beth said, shrugging.

"So is this like part of her plan to get proof of who did that most heinous act?"

"Probably," Beth said, half-paying attention.

"Plywood?" DJ asked. "I don't really see how this is going to help Izzy expose anything.

"Oh, it'll expose everything," Izzy said, right behind DJ, who shrieked, and leapt onto Beth's lap, who dropped him to the floor. "And by everything, I mean everything except the diary mystery, but Kaleidoscope is still on that case!"

"Don't scare me like that!" DJ shouted, irritated. "I swear, you're like a ninja."

"I try to be!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming, before bolting off to return to working in the room, leaving the other four confused.

"Well, that answered nothing," DJ said, annoyed.


	12. Day 6, Part 2: Cuttoff Sass

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 12: Day 6: Part 2: Cuttoff Sass**

"And welcome back to _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris proclaimed from up in his booth up high at the Maclaine Arena. "So far, we've had two races, and the Screaming Pansies have won two races so far. First to four wins, so the Killer Chrises have some major catching up to do."

Down on the field, Katie was in the driver's seat of a new red pickup truck, with Noah in the passenger seat, and Sadie in the back, while in the green pickup truck, Lindsay was in the driver's seat, with Leshawna in the passenger seat, and Owen in the back seats. They were waiting at the start line of a mostly circular track with a fork in the path: the outer path being straight and bumpy, with the inner path being long and winding.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Why would Courtney stick me with gassy boy? What'd I ever do to that girl?

* * *

"I call this track Long, What?" Chris said, smirking. "You know, 'cause it's long. What?"

"That's a stupid name," Noah said, irritated, though Katie got him to smile after rubbing his arm.

"Cheer up, gloomy," Katie said, smiling. "Who cares about the stupid name Chris gave it? You're about to go on an exciting ride with the best driver here!"

"That didn't sound right," Sadie said, smiling brightly.

"Anyway, do I want to take the bumpy route or the smooth route?" Katie asked, looking at the fork in the path ahead of them.

"The smooth one," Sadie said, still smiling. "The bumpy one might make us feel nauseous."

"I'll bet the bumpy route is quicker," Noah said, thinking it over. "This feels so familiar. And besides, would Chris really make the smooth route the shorter one?"

"But wouldn't the inside path be shorter, anyway?" Katie asked, then smirked. "Basic geometry and all?"

"Unless the straight path turns out to be long and winding," Noah said, also smirking. "Chris would so do that, too."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Noah's right, but I didn't actually design any of these tracks. (Chris looks into the camera with a serious expression.) That gets edited out.

* * *

In the green truck, Owen was looking nervous, as Leshawna was looking irritated. "Why do you like those wicked girls, anyway?"

"Oh, I loved that show!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling. "I felt really bad for Ebola, though."

Leshawna slapped her face. "I mean Heather and Courtney. Those two are up to no good, and you're being suckered by them."

"I'm not," Lindsay said, her smile going away. "How many times have we told you that Heather's changed?"

"She's faking it!" Leshawna shouted.

"No she's not!" Lindsay snapped back. "What did Courtney ever do to you, anyway?!"

"You mean aside from picking on Harold and yelling at everyone last year?!" Leshawna shouted.

"Henry wronged her, and she's trying to control her temper now. Unlike **some **people," Lindsay said, giving a death glare Leshawna's way.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Since when does looking out for my friends mean I have a temper?! I'm the good girl here!

* * *

"Which way should I take?" Lindsay asked, noticing the fork in the track before her.

"The smooth road," Leshawna said. "No reason to shake ourselves--"

Leshawna was interrupted by a frightening sound: the sound of Owen farting.

"Sorry guys," Owen said, shrugging. "Chef's mystery gruel gives me gas."

"What doesn't?" Leshawna asked, holding her mouth, trying futilely to roll down a window.

"I feel like my face is melting," Lindsay complained.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Like, seriously, why can't Omar just hold it in? It's just so not polite. I felt like I was dying!

* * *

"And go!" Chris announced into his microphone, and shot his gun into the air, and… no hole in the ceiling. Chris turned his microphone off. "Yeah, I actually had to take the effort to go way down to the ground to get the blanks. Obviously couldn't count on Chef doing it."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: 'Cept I did do it. He wasn't lookin' at the time, but I did do my job!

* * *

Immediately, Katie zoomed out onto the bumpy outer path, and Lindsay turned onto the smoother inner path.

"Are you sure this is the right way?" Lindsay asked, confused, noticing Katie took the bumpier road as she was taking the smoother road. "Kelsey went the other way."

"The inner road's always faster," Leshawna said, shrugging. "It's basic geometry."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I kinda' had to trust Laquisha. I failed geography.

* * *

"Did they take the other road?" Katie asked, having trouble talking due to the bumpy road, not seeing where the green truck went.

"I think they did," Sadie said, unsure and shaking.

"We'll win easy," Katie said, smiling.

"At least I think," Noah said, with his hand on his chin.

"But wait," Katie said, looking more worried. "You said this route would be faster!":

"I said I thought," Noah said, looking nervous. "It might've been a double trick, though."

"Well, I don't see them," Katie said as they got to the point where the two paths rejoined. "We're either way ahead, or way behind."

Sadie was watching behind their truck, and a few seconds later, saw the green truck emerge. "They're behind us!" Sadie exclaimed, squeezing Noah while bouncing up and down.

"Almost like we're on that bumpy part again," Noah said as he was being squeezed.

"They're ahead?" Lindsay shouted in her car. "I thought basic geology said that we'd be ahead."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Just as I thought. That route was longer. Basic geometry might've been wrong, but basic common sense says that if we win, we can't vote off Heather tonight. And fortunately, Owen can be bribed pretty easy.

Owen: Leshawna promised me a bag of jellybeans if I made Lindsay and Courtney lose their races. I wish I knew where everyone got all these jellybeans from! Still, it took more than jellybeans to convince me to vote off Izzy… but good gravy, that was the most delicious chocolate cake I've ever eaten!

* * *

"What does this button do?" Owen asked, playing with the gear shift, as Lindsay slapped his hand.

"Don't do that!" Lindsay shouted, irritated. "That's dangerous!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: And people call me stupid. I know enough not to play with the stick thingy when someone else is driving!

* * *

"But it looks so tasty!" Owen said. "It looks like a yummy éclair! So tasty."

"That's not food!" Lindsay shouted, having a hard time driving while keeping Owen from shifting the gear stick. "You're going to make us crash! Lefawnda, can't you help me?"

"No," Leshawna stated flatly, smiling deviously. Lindsay looked shocked, then turned angry.

"What's your problem?!" Lindsay yelled. "I need your help to win!"

"Maybe we don't want to win!" Leshawna shot back. "Maybe some of us would really like to get rid of Heather!"

"I still don't get why you wanted us to vote off Izzy instead of Heather," Owen said, confused, successfully putting the car in reverse.

"**What?!**" Lindsay screamed, no longer paying any attention to the road, as the truck was moving backward. "Why did you two vote off Isis?!"

"Hey, don't involve me in this," Leshawna said, looking nervous. "I had nothing to do with that."

"But you liked Iris," Lindsay said, looking like she might break down.

"But the cake!" Owen cried. "The cake was so--"

"You sold her out for cake?!" Lindsay shouted.

"No, of course not!" Owen shouted, then looked guilty. "It was no ordinary cake."

"Who gave you the cake?" Lindsay demanded. "I want a name."

"Um… Heather?" Owen said weakly. "Yeah… Heather bribed me with this delicious, moist cake. Really, it was the best--"

"**I'm not that stupid!**" Lindsay screamed. "Why would Heather vote off Iola? She was helping clear her name!"

"Are you that stupid?!" Leshawna shouted, as the red truck swerved around them. "Izzy would've found out that Heather was lying, just like almost everyone already knows, so she needed to get rid of Izzy before she found proof! Didn't she bribe Owen with cake to get Justin voted off last year?"

"Heather's a much better cook this year," Owen said, smiling. "So much better than that cake last year."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I wish Ivory would have told us who voted for who. I just know Heather didn't vote for her. I just know it.

* * *

"What are they doing?" Katie asked, as their truck lapped the green truck a second time, still slowly going backward.

"Consider who's driving that truck," Noah said, shrugging. "I'd guess Lindsay forgot how to drive."

"It looked like Lindsay and Leshawna were fighting," Sadie said, looking worried back at the green truck.

"Guess Lindsay's pretty much dead," Noah stated flatly. "She doesn't really have a prayer going against the fat girl."

"Hey!" Katie and Sadie both shouted. Sadie was shrinking down, and Katie was glaring.

"There's nothing wrong with being a little bit heavy!" Katie shouted.

"Oh, Sadie, right," Noah said, looking guilty. "I didn't mean it like that, OK? I don't really like Leshawna much. We didn't really get along last year"

"I know," Katie said, still looking a bit irritated. "Regardless, there's nothing wrong with being a bit, well--"

"Fat," Sadie said, letting out a little smile.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: Noah really didn't mean it like that.  
Katie: I know, but it's still so insensitive.  
Sadie: It bothers you more than it bothers me, I think. You can't even say the f-word.  
Katie: I really don't like that word. People tease you.  
Sadie: They tease both of us. Calling us those stupid twins.  
Katie: I know, but they tease you more than me, just because of… well…  
Sadie: I'm the fat one. Really, I know what people say.  
Katie: You're the nice one! I wish they'd call you that instead. Hardly anyone ever gets to know us, though. They just think we're these two annoying girls. They don't even notice that you're the nicer one.  
Sadie: Or that you're the smarter one.  
Katie: Even those biographies on the official _Total Drama Island _site last year got that mixed up.

* * *

Katie soon after finished her fourth lap, with Lindsay's truck way, way behind. "And the Killer Chrises have gotten into the game finally, giving them one race too the Screaming Pansies' two!" Chris announced from his booth.

"What the hell was that?!" Courtney shouted from the seats above, looking angry.

"It was Lindsay driving," Trent said, shrugging. "She's not really that smart."

"She knows how to drive!" Courtney shot back. "Give her some credit!"

"Yeah," Harold said, rolling his eyes. "She could clearly drive."

Courtney rushed up to Harold and lifted him by the neck into the air. "Look," Courtney said, sounding sinister. "You will not belittle Lindsay like that. You're on thin ice already mister. Don't push your luck."

"Put him down!" Heather shouted, standing up. Courtney complied, not looking particularly happy, as Heather started dragging Harold away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: What was that for? I thought Heather had changed! And here she was, yelling at me to put that good-for-nothing weakling down! Really, what the hell?!

* * *

"Gosh," Harold whined, as Heather let him go, away from the others. "That hurt."

"Look," Heather said, looking nervous, "I didn't want Courtney to kill you, but that was seriously out of line, your whole anger with Lindsay. That's going to stop."

"She's an idiot," Harold said, shrugging. "She thinks she's better than everyone else just because she thinks she's the hottest one here."

Heather looked confused. "Lindsay? Conceited? The same girl who's always trying to make everyone else happy, that Lindsay?!"

"Yes," Harold said, looking annoyed. "The same Lindsay who thought she deserved the cabin with the lake view for being the prettiest."

"Oh, yes," Heather said, rolling her eyes. "Such a horrible person. I'm glad you've shown me the light. You're nothing like that, Mister Look-At-Me-I-Have-Mad-Skills."

"My skills deserve to be shared with the world," Harold said, missing the point.

"You have a far bigger ego than she does," Heather said, frustrated that she didn't seem to be getting through.

"But I have mad skills!" Harold insisted.

"And Lindsay's got mad people skills," Heather said, smirking. "Look, it doesn't matter what you think about Lindsay. Does she really deserve to be picked on? I mean, did you like it when Duncan picked on you?"

"But I didn't deserve it!"

"Duncan thought you did. All he saw was this lanky weak nerd who was a waste of space."

"But I wasn't!" Harold insisted. "I was a great asset to the team! What did Lindsay ever do?"

"Beat the snot out of you in that water slash mud skiing flag challenge?" Heather said, looking like she didn't really want to remember it.

"Oh yeah," Harold said, smiling brightly. Heather slapped her face.

"Enough memories," Heather said, annoyed. "Just be nicer to Lindsay, OK? It's not really fair to expect Courtney to be nice to you if you're not going to be nice to Lindsay, after all."

"Fine," Harold answered, not looking happy.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: I've known girls like Lindsay in school. They think they're all that, but all they care about is looking pretty, being brain-dead, and siccing their boyfriends on the geek who dares to breathe the same air as they are… I don't see what's so great about Lindsay.

* * *

"So, if Justin isn't in good enough shape to drive, what is our team going to do?" Noah asked, as he and Katie were sitting in high seats in the arena.

"Stupid skinny girl!" Chef barked, as he started dragging Katie away, pulling her by one of her pigtails, with Katie screaming in pain.

"What are you doing to her?!" Noah shouted, looking upset.

"What do you care, puny?" Chef said, angry as usual. "Not like you care about the useless twins."

"Leave her alone!" Noah shouted.

"Or what?" Chef asked, still holding one of Katie's pigtails, with Katie desperately trying to free herself, to no avail.

"Or this!" Noah said, rushing up to punch Chef… only hurting his own hand in the process, with Chef barely noticing.

"Aww, are you OK, Noah?" Katie asked, concerned, as Noah was crying and holding his injured hand.

"We need her to drive!" Chef shouted, as he started dragging Katie away. "You two stay here, or else!"

Katie was screaming in pain, and Sadie and Noah watched her being dragged away, both looking concerned.

"That was really brave of you," Sadie said, smiling brightly, then gave Noah a tight hug.

"Can't… breathe," Noah let out weakly.

"Oops," Sadie said, blushing, letting Noah go. "Sorry. It was just so sweet."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Did Chef really need to pull me by my hair? Do you have any idea how much that hurt?!

Chef: Pretty boy specifically told me to pull her by her pigtail. Don't really know why, and don't really care why.

* * *

Chef tossed Katie before Bridgette, Gwen, and Eva, waiting outside of the red truck, already in position. "Justin can't drive, so skinny wonder twin's gonna' do it!"

"Are you OK?" Bridgette said, looking worried, going up to Katie, trying to help her off of the ground. Katie just moaned, holding her head near a pigtail which looked to be in pretty bad shape.

"Don't care! Just get in the truck!" Chef shouted.

"Bridgette," Katie said softly, as Eva was getting into the passenger seat, "can you sit in the front?" Eva looked confused and irritated. "I'd really like you up there with me," she said, smiling a little, though still feeling a bit out of it.

"Sure," Bridgette said, annoying Eva, who reluctantly got into the back with Gwen.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Bridgette's like the nicest person here… I mean, aside from Sadie and Noah. Or actually, she might beat Noah, but still… (Katie blushes.)

Bridgette: Sometimes, I feel like I'm a surrogate Sadie. Katie really needs to be with someone she trusts, and I guess it's kind of an honor that Katie feels so comfortable with me. It'd still be good for her to be able to handle being alone, though I guess Eva can be a little intimidating.

* * *

Katie was sitting in the driver's seat of the red pickup truck, with Bridgette in the passenger seat, and Eva and Gwen sitting in the back. Courtney was sitting in the driver's seat of the green pickup truck, with Heather in the passenger seat, and Tyler and Harold sitting in the back. The two trucks were at the starting line of a track with two small curves on the right, one small curve on the left, where they were starting, and a long, straight road going down the middle of the track.

"And Courtney and Katie are going to be riding the Bluster! Named for Courtney, of course," Chris announced from his booth. Courtney glared toward him. "Try to remember not to go down that long straight path in the middle until you're unable to continue any other way, or Chef won't count the lap." Chris started laughing at the thought of the drivers getting confused on the way they were supposed to go. "And go!" Chris shouted, shooting a blank into the air.

Katie quickly made a sharp turn around the curve immediately in front of them, with Courtney close behind, noticing a big, empty space she would have run into if she turned straight right instead of making the U-turn.

"That's pretty lame," Courtney said. "I can clearly see it's a dead end over there. How could anyone be tricked into going that way?"

"Lindsay would," Harold said, irritated, earning him glares from Tyler and Heather.

"Dude, that's my girl you're talking about," Tyler said, irritated.

"I thought you were going to stop that," Heather said, also irritated.

"You should have just let me threaten him, before you oh-so-rudely interrupted!" Courtney shouted.

"You were going a little too far with him," Heather said, looking worried. "I didn't want you to do something you might regret."

"Nothing I do to that nobody he doesn't deserve!" Courtney spat.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: I'd hate to have to diagram that sentence.

Heather: Look, I know how Courtney feels about Harold. I've been down that road, and look how many people hate me now. I really don't want that to happen to Courtney, but she's so stubborn!

* * *

There was a fork in the road at the bottom of the straight road going from the top to bottom of the track, and neither Katie nor Courtney were really sure which way to go.

"Left or right?" Katie asked her passengers, confused as to where to go.

"Well, that's the start line over there," Gwen said, pointing to the right, "and it doesn't look like there's any room to get back over there if we go that way."

"I can't see where you're pointing!" Katie shouted. "Directions, please!"

"Left," Gwen said, irritated.

"Thank you!" Katie said, exasperated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Left or right. Seriously, is it that hard?  
Sadie: Couldn't you just look to see which way Gwen was pointing?  
Katie: Um, no, I was driving. I couldn't turn back to see where she was pointing.  
Sadie: Not even for a second?  
Katie: Is "left" or "right" really that hard?

Gwen: Yeah, Sadie's definitely the nice twin.

* * *

"Left or right?" Courtney asked, nervously noticing the middle road forked in both directions.

"Well, Katie went left--" Heather started.

"So we'll go right!" Courtney exclaimed, making a hard turn to the right, only to face a dead end.

"I was going to mention she hadn't come back," Heather said, trying to smile. Courtney just looked irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Look, you really need to learn to talk faster, OK? Like me, or Izzy. Or Ka…ourtney! You know, me, Courtney!

Bridgette: How are us girls able to talk at a mile a minute, anyway? And why have I never picked up on this ability?

* * *

Courtney turned their truck around, though Katie was already way ahead, and even more ahead after crossing the start line, where she wound up drifting down into a path she'd just come from, nearly crashing head-on into Katie's truck.

"Are we going the right way?" Katie asked, confused, and a bit shaken from the near-crash.

"The start line is right up ahead, so yeah," Bridgette said, smiling.

"So Courtney's lost," Katie said, smirking. "And I thought I had a bad sense of direction."

Courtney was confused in her truck, though. "So was Katie driving the wrong way?"

"No, we are!" Harold shouted. "Idiot!"

"Look, you little dweeb--"

"Focus, Courtney, focus," Heather said, trying to calm tensions. "Harold, do you really need to egg her on?"

"She deserves it," Harold said, crossing his arms.

"And Courtney, do you really need to threaten his life?"

"He deserves it!" Courtney spat. "He was a lousy no-good cheater!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Why do I bother? I mean, old Heather wouldn't have cared.

* * *

"OK," Courtney said, angry, "we're way behind. The only way we're going to win is to t-bone them at one of these intersections. When they head down the middle road, wham!" Courtney motioned her fist slamming into her other arm, too excitedly for comfort.

"That's a bit extreme," Heather said, nervous. "We really don't want to hurt them. Bridgette's in that truck, you know."

Courtney softened upon hearing that. "Oh yeah," she said sheepishly. "I kind of forgot who was in there. I don't want to hurt Bridgette, but how am I going to win this race?"

"You don't win," Heather said, putting a hand on Courtney's shoulder.

"But everyone's going to vote you off if we lose!" Courtney said, crying.

"We can still win. There're still three more races" Heather said, smiling.

It wasn't long before Katie finished her four laps, making her the ultimate victor in the race, as she and Bridgette got out of the truck, squeeing together while hugging. Gwen and Eva were both holding their ears, looking irritated.

"And the Killer Chrises have won again, making the score tied at two to two!" Chris announced, and laughed when he realized what he said. "Two to two… love it!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: That actually felt kind of good, letting that out. Eeeiii! (Bridgette chuckles to herself.)

Eva: Bridgette… I mean, I can't believe she did that. That's going to be so embarrassing to her later in life.

* * *

Katie was once again in the driver's seat of the red pickup truck, with Noah in the passenger seat, and Sadie in the back, while Lindsay was in the driver's seat of the green pickup truck, with Trent, smiling, in the front, and Cody and Ezekiel in the back. The two trucks were at the start line of a largely open track shaped like a backward letter C, with colorful barrels as track guides.

"And you are all going to be racing The Yodely Guy Game!" Chris announced from his booth.

"Yodely Guy Game?" Harold shouted from his seat in the stands. "Gosh! It's not called that! It's called Cliff--"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Seriously, don't do that! If we say the name, then we're going to owe lots of money to two different companies! Sheesh!

* * *

"And go!" Chris shouted into his microphone, firing another blank into the air, and Katie and Lindsay were off.

"Remember, go around the barrels," Noah said, as Katie whipped around one. "This really seems so familiar." Katie and Sadie looked confused as to what Noah was talking about, though.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: You know, Lindsay's almost as pretty as Gwen. She'd be perfect if she were a little bit smarter.

* * *

"Lindsay," Ezekiel said, looking down, "I'm soory for what I said about girls, eh."

Lindsay looked confused as she was tightly cornering a barrel. "Who are you? Logan?"

"Ezekiel," the home-schooled boy answered. "I'm soory I said that guys were stronger and smarter than girls, eh."

"Oh," Lindsay said, still looking confused. "When did you say that?"

"Last year, when we were on _Total Drama Island, _eh."

"But you weren't on the show last year," Lindsay said, trying to figure it out.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I felt bad that I couldn't remember Elizabeth from last year. Was she really a contestant?

Ezekiel: I guess I shouldn't be too surprised she didn't even remoomber I was there.

* * *

Lindsay had kept driving off the "proper" track to pick up speed, but figured as long as she was going around the barrels, it was all right, as she was catching up to Katie.

"Can she do that?" Katie asked, looking irritated.

"Don't know, but if she can, she's about to pass us," Noah said, looking back, also irritated, then forward as the green truck passed them.

"We're beating them!" Lindsay exclaimed. "We're going to win!"

"But we can't win!" Trent exclaimed. "They might vote off Gwen!" The others looked at him suspiciously.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: Look, I liked the idea of throwing the race to save Gwen's hide and get rid of Heather too, but how was I supposed to force Lindsay to lose without making myself look suspicious?

* * *

"Dude, we could get voted off if we lose," Cody said. Meanwhile Katie knocked over a barrel.

"This'll save time, right Noah?" Katie said, irritated still.

"Technically yes, but are we allowed to actually crash through the barrels?" Noah asked, nervous.

"Probably," Katie said, shrugging, as she was inching closer to the green truck, as the two were about to complete their final lap.

"And it looks like a photo finish!" Chris exclaimed from his booth, as the two trucks finished their final lap at nearly the same moment. "Time to check the tape to see who was first!" Chris walked out of the booth, as Katie and Lindsay got out of their cars.

"Good luck, Lindsay," Katie said, smiling. "I mean, I hope we won, but still, you did good."

"You too, Kelsey," Lindsay said, smiling.

"Um, that's the enemy," Noah said, not smiling, still sitting in the truck

"She's such a friendly enemy, though," Sadie said, smiling even more brightly. Noah rolled his eyes.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I know Nathan's kinda' grumpy, but he and Kelly make such a cute couple!

Noah: We are not a couple!

* * *

"And after some careful checking, and some talks with our legal department, Lindsay's truck beat Katie's by a fraction of a second, so the Screaming Pansies are ahead, at three to two," Chris said, lacking his usual put-upon enthusiasm.

"I guess you won," Katie said, looking a bit sad.

"Yeah," Lindsay said, looking sad for Katie. "You did well, but… I really need to win this for Heather's sake. A lot of people want to get rid of her."

Katie was looking unsure of herself. "Even after what she did to you last year."

"She's changed," Lindsay said, with a soft smile. "She's not the person she was last year."

"But what about spreading Gwen's secret around the campground? That was just cruel."

"She didn't do it. I don't really know who did it, but I think Omar's in on it."

"Owen?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Lindsay said, looking irritated at the thought. "I think he was trying to make me lose earlier."

"I really don't think Owen would do that," Katie said, smiling. "I don't think he even knows what devious means."

Lindsay blinked. "What does devious mean?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I can't believe Lindsay's falling for Heather's tricks again.  
Sadie: But Heather's changed!  
Katie: The diary thing? Heather hasn't changed at all.  
Sadie: But what if someone's framing Heather?  
Katie: Why would someone do that, though?

* * *

Katie was once again in the driver's seat of the red pickup truck, with Bridgette in the passenger seat, and Eva and Gwen in the back. Courtney was in the driver's seat of the green pickup truck, with Leshawna in the passenger seat, and Owen in the back. The two cars were at the start line of a large, doughnut-shaped racetrack with lots of puddles, bumps, and a large volcano in the middle.

"Owen, you are **not **passing gas in here!" Courtney shouted to Owen, who was looking nervous.

"Girl, if he needs to go, he needs to go!" Leshawna shouted back.

"He can hold it in!" Courtney yelled.

"That's kinda' hard," Owen said, looking worried.

"Hold it in!"

"Ladies and gentlemen," Chris announced from his booth, "even though we have none in attendance today, it's the Killer Chrises in the red truck, versus the Screaming Pansies in the green truck! They will be racing on a course that I like to call Volcano Volley!"

"Seems like an unnecessary expense, building a volcano just for decoration," Gwen said, crossing her arms.

"I wouldn't call it unnecessary," Chris said, smirking, as he pushed a button which spewed some debris from the mouth of the volcano. "I'd say the expense was worth it.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: It wasn't! Gimme' my paycheck!

* * *

"And go!" Chris announced, shooting another blank from his gun. Again, Katie was ahead of Courtney.

"How does she go so fast?" Courtney asked, as Owen took the steering wheel and ate it. "You just ate our steering wheel?!" Courtney screamed, as she lunged at Owen.

"I didn't get a doughnut this morning, and I really wanted one, and that doughnut looked so delicious," Owen said, looking panicked.

"You are going down!" Courtney screamed, strangling Owen. "Both of you!"

"What did I do?!" Leshawna yelled, while desperately trying to stop the truck.

"Trying to frame Heather for spreading around Gwen's diary, for starters?!" Courtney screamed as she was still trying to strangle Owen. "You're probably happy we're losing. I'm sure you'd like to knock off Heather tonight!"

"Yeah, I would!" Leshawna shouted. "If she wasn't blinding you, you'd see what a fool you've been and vote her off too!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: You know, it's really difficult to strangle Owen. He doesn't seem to have any actual neck.

* * *

"This is insane!" Gwen shouted, as Katie narrowly avoided having a rock that was on fire smashing into their truck. "We could seriously die here!"

"It's Chris," Katie said, looking upset. "What else should we expect from Mr. Sadism himself?"

"Katie's a good driver though," Bridgette said, trying to comfort everyone.

"She can't avoid random volcano spit, though!" Gwen shouted. "No one's that good!"

"Then just hope we get lucky," Katie said, looking worried, though still making her way through.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Well, yeah, I know it's more luck than anything else, avoiding the debris coming from the volcano. Not sure why I even tried to make it sound sensible, really.

* * *

"They're winning!" Courtney yelled, the truck stopped against a wall. "How are we supposed to win when we can't even steer this thing?!"

"We don't win, and we vote off Heather!" Leshawna exclaimed, smirking.

"You mean you're doing this on **purpose?!**" Courtney shrieked.

"We need to get rid of Heather!" Leshawna shouted. "I thought you were smarter than to fall for Heather's lies!"

"I'm smart enough not to fall for your lies!" Courtney spat back.

"Guys?" Owen said, looking scared.

"Didn't you learn nothin' last season? Heather always lies!" Leshawna screamed.

"Guys?" Owen repeated, his eyes going really wide.

"Get over it!" Courtney screamed.

"Like you're getting over what Harold did?" Leshawna asked, smirking.

"Really guys," Owen said, shivering.

"Not the same thing!" Courtney shouted.

"Let me guess. It's because he wronged you, personally!" Leshawna screamed.

"Guys, we're gonna' die!" Owen said, watching as an oddly slow-moving large flaming rock was headed toward them. Courtney and Leshawna only looked long enough for it to crash into them.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (bandaged up) My lawyer is **so **hearing about this!

* * *

"And the Killer Chrises have won the race, tying the score, three all!" Chris announced as Katie's truck finished its fourth lap, with Courtney, Owen, and Leshawna being pulled out from their wreckage.

"You two are dead!" Courtney screamed from her gurney, with Leshawna and Owen rolling their eyes.

"Are you all right?" Bridgette asked, as she and Katie rushed over to see Courtney.

"I mean, I wanted to win, but I didn't want you to get hurt," Katie said, tearing up, hugging Courtney.

Gwen had rushed over to hug Leshawna. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah," Leshawna said, smiling. "White girl over there went crazy."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I thought Katie hated me. That was pretty nice of her, though. Maybe I've been a little hard on her.

Katie: As irritating as Courtney can be, she's close with Bridgette, and she seems like she's trying to be nicer to me. She just looked like she needed a hug.

Gwen: Is "white girl" actually appropriate for Courtney? Does anyone really know what race she is, anyway? I'm honestly curious.

Owen: Why did everyone forget about me? I was injured too! Couldn't someone have at least fed me?

* * *

Katie was in the driver's seat of a red pickup truck, with Noah in the passenger seat and Sadie in the back, while Lindsay was in the driver's seat of a new green pickup truck, with Heather in the passenger seat, and Tyler and Harold in the back. They were at the start line of a large, open track with lots of small puddles, with only four small columns, one near each corner. Each column had a number on the top, which Chris and the contestants in the stands could see, but the contestants in the trucks could not.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: After the first race, I thought it would be better to have Heather sit up front with me. I didn't really want Tyler to start making out while I was driving again.

Tyler: (looking depressed)

* * *

"I like to call this race Big Dog!" Chris exclaimed from his booth. "You know, because it's big, and like 'whoo doggie' and, well, you know," Chris said, trailing off, scratching his head. "Anyway, go!" Chris exclaimed, as he shot his gun into the air… sending a bullet through the ceiling, which then collapsed on him. "**Chef!**"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: (looking innocent) Guess I forgot to replace one. Heh heh.

* * *

"Which way are we supposed to go?" Katie asked, noticing the openness of the track.

"I could swear I've seen this before," Noah said, scratching his head.

In the green truck, Lindsay wasn't sure of what to do either. "So, do I like just go around all the columns?"

"I… guess?" Heather said, not sounding the least bit confident.

Lindsay started going around the track in a circle, as well as Katie, as Noah was still thinking.

"Wait a minute!" Noah said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: I could swear I saw a light bulb light up above Noah's head there.  
Katie: That was the interior light. The door was loose.  
Sadie: Oh. I thought it would've been really cool if that happened in real life.

* * *

"I know what this is!" Noah announced. "This is Pig Bog!"

"What's a pig bog?" Katie asked, driving around alongside Lindsay.

"_Super Off-Road_. It's a video game I played when I was younger. All of these tracks have been blatant rip-offs from those tracks. Hence why Chris idiotically thought the boulders in that one track would impair everyone's vision." Noah smirked. "I think I remember the way you have to go, too! Go to… well, we're going around number two now."

"Where next, captain?" Katie asked, innocently smirking at Noah.

"Straight ahead to number three."

"Aye-aye, captain!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Captain… it's got a nice ring to it.

* * *

"Where to next?" Katie asked, sounding a little seductive, she was going around column three.

"Catty corner to that column," Noah said, pointing to the column diagonally from where they were. The people in the green truck were confused as to where Katie was driving off to.

"Where is Kelsey going?" Lindsay asked, as she was headed for the start line. "We're about to finish our first lap, and they're running off? We're going to win!" Lindsay crossed the line, but Chef didn't wave his flag. "Wait, why didn't he count our lap?"

"I don't think we're supposed to be--ACK!" Harold screamed, as they hit the red truck nearly head-on. "What are they doing?"

"Getting their first lap," Tyler said, noticing Chef waving the flag for them.

"But we went all the way around! Why didn't it count for us?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"They went around the columns in a different order," Heather pointed out. "How were we realistically supposed to know the order, though?"

"I don't know, but they know!" Lindsay said, turning around the four column, then headed back to the start line for their first lap. "Follow them!"

"You're driving," Heather said, smiling.

"Oh yeah," Lindsay said, turning a bit red.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I hate when I give people more annihilation to use against me when they call me stupid.

* * *

"Did they figure out the pattern too?" Sadie asked, seeing the green truck following them.

"No," Noah said. "They figured out that **we **figured out the pattern, though!"

"Then we need to hurry!" Katie shouted, looking a bit worried.

"We need to hurry!" Heather shouted. "I'm a goner if we don't win!"

"I know!" Lindsay shouted, tearing up. "I don't want you to go!"

Katie was trying to hurry ahead, but Lindsay was gaining on the second lap, and passed her on the third. "She doesn't know the pattern, right?"

"Over there!" Heather exclaimed, pointing to the next column Lindsay needed to go to. "Now there!" Heather exclaimed, pointing to the next column. "We are so going to win this!"

"I'm so glad you remembered the order," Lindsay said, smiling.

"How are we going to catch up?!" Katie shouted. "I don't think we can do it," Katie said nervously, as they entered their fourth lap.

"We're gonna' win! We're gonna' win!" Lindsay and Heather exclaimed together, as they went around all the columns and were headed for the start line.

"Why are we slowing down?!" Heather shouted, panicking. "They're gaining!"

"I don't know," Lindsay said, crying. "This has happened to me like a bunch of times before, though."

"It's the gas," Tyler said, pointing to the gas gauge. "It's on E."

"What does E stand for?" Lindsay asked. "Exciting? Energy?"

"Empty," Heather said, looking depressed. "We're out of gas. It's the end for me."

"Maybe we can still coast to the end," Lindsay said, hoping to perk Heather up. They were slowly making it to the end, and finished their final lap before coming to a stop… a second after Katie's truck rushed past them, crossing the line first.

"And the Killer Chrises have won again!" Chris proclaimed, bandaged up a bit, stepping onto the field. Chris then smirked to the passengers in the green truck. "Pansies, you know what that means." Heather looked like she was going to cry, but held back. Lindsay was sobbing profusely, though, holding onto Heather.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: What did Heather ever do to anyone? She would never hurt anyone. (Lindsay thinks it over for a few seconds.) She would never hurt anyone this year!

Heather: It seemed a little unfair that our truck had less gasoline than their truck. It's like **someone **wanted us to lose.

* * *

Heather, Lindsay, and a bandaged-up Courtney were sitting outside of their cabin that night, all of them looking worried.

"They're going to vote me off," Heather said, with her head in her hands, and elbows on her legs.

"I wish we could get people to rally against Leshawna," Courtney said, irritated by the mere utterance of her name. "I mean, she's the one who spread Gwen's pregnancy scare news around for the world to see!"

"She didn't do it," Heather and Lindsay said in unison.

"Still," Heather said, "Leshawna's been nothing but a bully to me since last year. Maybe I deserved all that crap last year. That's debatable. I've done nothing this year, though!"

"Yeah, Laquisha has been pretty mean," Lindsay said.

"Gwen!" Heather exclaimed, as Gwen and Bridgette were walking by.

"Don't talk to me!" Gwen shouted, ignoring the girl. Bridgette looked worried.

"Maybe you could give her another chance?" Bridgette asked.

"Don't tell me you're switching sides again," Gwen said, sounding upset.

"I'm sorry Gwen," Bridgette pleaded, then looked to the three Pansy girls. "I really, really hope none of you get voted off tonight, though."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I really hope I could convince enough people to vote off Leshawna. She's been so horrible ever since we got back to the island this year, and she needs to go!

Leshawna: Heather, you got lucky last week, but this week, you're through!

Owen: More of the most delicious cake in the world, and all I have to do is vote for Heather. Heather's a pretty mean person, unlike Izzy, so at least this week it's a win-win situation, right?

Tyler: Harold, seriously… don't mess with my girl, got it?!

* * *

"Campers," Chris announced at the campfire ceremony that night, with the ten Screaming Pansy members sitting around the campfire, and Bridgette watching from behind some bushes, "on this plate, I have nine marshmallows. If you receive a marshmallow, you are safe. If I call your name, please come up and collect your marshmallow.

"Owen."

"Whoo-hoo!" Owen cheered, as he ran up to excitedly collect his marshmallow from Chris, and gobble it up.

"Trent."

"Can I eat it?" Owen asked, with desperation.

"Sure," Trent said, shrugging.

"Yes!" Owen exclaimed, and ate another marshmallow.

"Ezekiel."

Owen ate another marshmallow, and Ezekiel looked sad. "I kinda' woonted that, eh."

"Cody."

"Tyler."

"Lindsay."

"Harold."

"Courtney."

Heather looked nervously toward Lindsay, who was starting to cry, and Courtney, who was fuming. Leshawna looked overly confident. "Heather, Leshawna," Chris said, holding a plate with a single marshmallow on it, "this is the final marshmallow. The one of you who does not get this marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame, where you will catch the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back. **Ever**."

"I really hope Chris is lying again," Lindsay said, worried.

"I'm not," Chris said, annoyed. "Anywho, the final marshmallow goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Leshawna."

Leshawna cockily walked up to receive her marshmallow, viciously biting into it as she glared at Heather, who, downtrodden, walked her way over to Lindsay and Courtney, hugging them.

"Thank you for believing in me," Heather said, crying. Lindsay and Courtney were crying too. "Harold," Heather said, going over to hug him, "thank you for giving me another chance, too. Just please promise you'll get along with Lindsay, and at least try to make peace with Courtney, OK?"

"I guess I could try," Harold said, looking nervous. Heather was leaning over, but was pulled back by Chris.

"Boat! Now!" Chris shouted, annoyed, getting between Heather and Harold, though was quickly thrown aside by Courtney.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Seriously, I have to applaud whiny girl for that one. Just such an ass when Chris does that. And kissing makes for good TV! I don't get why he doesn't want it.

* * *

"I still have no idea why you like him, but go for it," Courtney said, still crying a bit, but smiling. Heather shyly leaned over and gave Harold a small kiss on his lips, causing him to blush.

"What?!" Leshawna screamed. "Oh, no she ain't! Now she's stealin' my man!"

"You dumped him," Lindsay stated flatly.

"You're gonna' pay for this, baldie!" Leshawna shouted as she lunged for Heather, being held back by Courtney, as Heather started walking calmly to the boat, still crying a little bit.

"Heather," Bridgette called out, crying, running out from behind her bush, to give Heather a tight hug on the dock. "I'm really sorry about this. You've really become a beautiful person. With or without the hair." Bridgette giggled a bit, but then frowned. "I really think this is completely wrong, and I hope you and Izzy can find out who did this to Gwen."

"Thank you," Heather said softly, hugging the laid-back blonde. "I really wish I could tell Gwen goodbye, though."

"I was really hoping you two could bury the hatchet before you were voted off. I'm sorry that didn't happen."

"I guess I'm still paying back for how terrible I was last year," Heather said, crying some more. "Can't just magically erase all the horrible things I did, I guess."

"All you can do is change the future," Bridgette said, smiling a bit. "You're doing a great job so far."

"Thank you," Heather said, as she stepped onto the boat. "Goodbye Bridgette! I'm going to miss you!" Heather waved to Bridgette as the boat took off, as Bridgette waved back, with Lindsay, Harold, and Courtney joining in.

"And thus ends another episode of _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris proclaimed to the camera, ruining the moment, with the four campers on the dock glaring at Chris. "Heather is gone, and frankly, she sucked." Courtney started rushing toward him, with Lindsay and Bridgette holding her back. "But we've still got unanswered questions, like will Izzy quit trying to find proof that Heather did it? Just take our word for it already, geez! Will the never-shuts-up Courtney, the dirty hippie Bridgette, or the imbecilic Lindsay be going home next?" Lindsay and Bridgette gave each other a knowing wink, then released Courtney, looking pleased with themselves. "Find out next time on--oof!" Courtney was mauling Chris right there, as Lindsay and Bridgette finished for Chris.

"_Total Drama Heather!"_

* * *

"Hey guys," Heather said as she entered the lounge of the Playa' des Losers, though she didn't get much of a welcome, except from one person.

"Hey, Heather!" Geoff exclaimed, running up to hug Heather, which took her by surprise. "Guys, Heather's here!"

"I guess we need to put up with her now," DJ grumbled.

"I actually didn't hear her scream this year," Duncan said, looking mostly uninterested. "Guess my hearing's adjusted since last time."

"I don't think she screamed this time," Geoff said, scratching his hat.

"I guess she's going to make our lives miserable now, huh?" Beth said, looking irritated.

"Where's Izzy, anyway?" Heather asked, hoping to find her. "Is she here?"

"Was that a pun?" Izzy asked, popping up behind Heather, startling her.

"Izzy!" Heather exclaimed, as the two hugged.

"A little sappy for my tastes, but I'll let it slide this time," Izzy said, dusting herself off. "First, some bad news: Kaleidoscope has been slacking off a bit in her detective work, as Izzy's been very busy with a new project."

"A new project?" Heather asked, confused.

"Yes. My people called Chris' people, and it's a go! Izzy's going to become a zillionaire!"

"What exactly do you have planned?"

"Nuh-uh-uh. Can't tell you yet. It's going to be a surprise! But don't worry: Izzy thinks you're going to like it!" Izzy was beaming with excitement, bouncing up and down in place. "Oh, and did any of you guys catch any hints about the culprit on TV? I've been too busy to watch today."

"Leshawna said Heather did it," Beth said, yawning. "Sounds like a big enough hint to me."

"No, I'm pretty sure that's wrong," Izzy said, looking thoughtful. "I can read people pretty well, at least most of the time sometimes, and I'm pretty pretty certain that Heather's innocent here. I mean, not one hundred percent, but I'm not holding that against you," Izzy said rapidly, patting Heather's shoulder. "Still, there's an evil force out there, and it's up to Izzy, hopefully with your help, Heather, to put and end to this tyranny!" Izzy started to laugh maniacally, freaking most of the others out a bit, except for Heather, who looked positively pleased.

* * *

**Votes**

Cody: Heather  
Courtney: Leshawna  
Ezekiel: Heather  
Harold: Courtney  
Heather: Leshawna  
Leshawna: Heather  
Lindsay: Lashonda  
Owen: Heather  
Trent: Heather  
Tyler: Harold

Heather: 5  
Leshawna: 3  
Courtney: 1  
Harold: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Heather

Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Eva, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Noah, Sadie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Trent, Tyler

* * *

Yeah… I hated doing that. I hated voting Heather off, but what needs to occur has occurred. At least she left with her head held high. Probably. A few people are going to miss her, anyway.

As it is, Heather may be gone, but she won't be forgotten. She's left an impact on most of those on the island, be it positive or negative. That's not all about to disappear.


	13. Total Drama Izzy

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 13: Total Drama Izzy**

Izzy was in a large room at the Playa' des Losers, with some cameramen and cameras, giving them instructions, as Izzy sat in a sofa in the middle of a fairly small stage, which the cameras were pointed toward. There was also a large flat screen above that sofa, a small coffee table in front of it, as well as four cushioned and backed bleacher-style seats on both sides of the sofa in the middle of that sofa. Before them all was an audience of unseen random people. Izzy was having her makeup done by a familiar, fairly short girl with curly dark brown hair going past her shoulders, heavily eye shadowed eyes, and slightly tanned skin walked out from behind the cabins. She was wearing a white tank top with a leather jacket over it, jeans, and short black high-heeled boots.

"Thank you," Izzy said, smiling so brightly her face looked like it would fall off. "Are we ready? Good!" Izzy was still smiling big, as she waited for a sign from one of the interns who she was hoping would be as good a director as she was claiming to be. "Welcome to _Total Drama Izzy!" _Izzy exclaimed, leaping from her sofa, spreading her arms wide out. "Not to be confused with _Total Drama Way Too Big Ego, _mind you: this is the place where we dish out all the dirt on your favorite contestants after they've been eliminated." Izzy made a fist and started shaking it for the camera. "Next time, Maclaine, next time! Meow!" Izzy clawed at the camera. "I was originally going to call this show _Total Drama Chris: Aftermath, _but then I remembered, after math I had classic boring literature last year, and I hated that. Seems like it'd be Noah's kind of class, really." Izzy shrugged. "Chris gets too much credit anyway for such a sick, twisted man. So I called the producers of _Total Drama Chris_ and told them of my great new idea for a show where I got to scare the crap out of eighteen unsuspecting teens with a purple cat who didn't realize how fat his girlfriend was, but I was told the idea was done before, so I settled for this! _Total Drama Izzy!"_

Izzy pointed off-stage. "And before we get started, I would like to reintroduce my new bestest friend, awesome all-around girl, and my co-host for this event, Nicole!" The girl who was applying Izzy's makeup earlier was now taking a seat to Izzy's left on the sofa, shyly waving to the cameras as she made her way down.

"Hi," Nicole said, smiling and waving to the camera. "I'm Nicole, and I'm happy to be here with Izzy!"

Izzy glomped Nicole before continuing. "You so deserved to be on the show this season!" Izzy let go and dusted herself off. "It turned out a lot of people sent in applications, with twenty-two of them separated from the others. It looked like Chris was planning on having twenty-two new contestants for this season, but then backed out. Nicole was one of them. Still decided to bring you in to judge the cosplaying challenge."

"I think he trusted me to be fair with that challenge," Nicole said, smiling.

"Yeah. Pretty sure some of them wouldn't have judged the thing fairly," Izzy said, seeming like she wanted to lecture some of them. "Unfortunately, when I was in talks with Chris' people, I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to tell you about any of those other twenty-one people. But I thought Nicole deserved some more screen time, though."

"And I guess, being here, I'm not risking life or limb, either," Nicole said, chuckling to herself.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Izzy said, scratching her chin. "We've still got some wicked malevolent ideas for this show, but we're saving those for a few 'special' guests."

"That's right!" Nicole exclaimed, excited. "I don't think you mentioned the guests yet!"

"Ah!" Izzy exclaimed, snapping her fingers. "That's right! All of your favorites who have been voted off are going to be here today!"

"And the not-so-favorites," Nicole added. "I'm really surprised DJ doesn't have more fans."

"Can't explain it," Izzy said, shrugging. "Seemed a bit grumpy this season, though. Anyway, the producers did allow me to use any unused footage from the show that I could find, though I still haven't found any proving who was trying to frame Heather."

"She probably did it," Nicole said, shrugging. "I saw the show last season. I kind of hated her."

"You'd give her another chance for me, though, right?" Izzy said, beaming.

"I suppose," Nicole said, nervous.

"Then it's settled!" Izzy declared, standing on the couch. "Izzy knows you'll get along nicely with her, but that's going to wait until later in the show. She'll be out later."

"But now, it's time for our first guest," Nicole announced, smiling.

"Our first guest has created a tacky coin bowl, dove into a foul pile of sweaty socks, and named a bicycle after his girlfriend. And people call me crazy, ha ha!"

"You kind of are," Nicole said, raising an eyebrow.

"You can never have enough crazies!" Izzy exclaimed. Anyway, please help me welcome Geoff!" Geoff made his way out, waving to the audience who was cheering him on, eventually sitting on the left side of the stage, as Izzy was humming the _Entertainment Tonight _theme, with "do's."

"Welcome Geoff!" Izzy exclaimed, as she bounced over to hug the party guy.

"It's awesome to be here, little dudette," Geoff said, then looked nervous. "I think. I'm still not really sure what this is."

"It's a brand new show called _Total Drama Izzy!"_ Izzy exclaimed, throwing her hands to her side. "This is where the real action happens! Where we find out all the dirt on all of our favorite contestants from the show, really dig into fresh wounds. It'll make for great TV!"

"Awesome!" Geoff exclaimed, pumping his fists. "Can I host?"

"Um, no," Izzy said. "I'm hosting."

"I really think I could be an awesome host, though!" Geoff exclaimed.

"I dunno'," Izzy said, looking thoughtful. "This sort of thing could go to your head if you're not careful."

"That'd never happen to me!" Geoff boasted.

"Still, my show," Izzy said. "So, the first question: do you think Heather spread the diary page about Gwen all around the camp, or do you think someone's trying to frame her?"

"I dunno'," Geoff said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, I know Heather was mean last year, but she seems all nice and stuff this year. And Bridge seems to like her, and she's got a good, beautiful, perfect head on her shoulders--"

"Bridgette or Heather?" Izzy asked, smirking.

"Bridgette," Nicole said, looking a bit dreamy.

"Bridgette!" Geoff exclaimed. "I mean, Heather's way up there too, but Bridge is my girl!"

"Right answer," Izzy said, smiling. "Still, I'm sure Heather will be happy to hear you're on her side."

"Ch'yeah," Geoff answered.

"Next question," Izzy said, trying to look serious. "Bridgette was supposed to be the first person voted out, but you threw yourself before the firing squad to save her life. Why?"

"Well," Geoff said, looking down, "I remember how miserable and pathetic I felt last year after Bridgette left. I really didn't want to go through that again, especially not so soon, first day and all. She didn't deserve to go, anyway."

"You two are so cute together!" Nicole exclaimed, beaming. "Wish I could find someone as perfect as Bridgette."

"But Bridgette's a girl," Geoff said, looking completely confused, as Izzy looked a bit nervous.

"Next question!" Izzy quickly shouted. "Why did you two make out so much?"

"Well, I love Bridgette," Geoff said, smiling. "She's like the perfect girl, so beautiful and smart and kind--"

"And you have teenaged hormones," Nicole added, smirking.

"Well, ch'yeah," Geoff said. "That doesn't really sound deep, though."

"Aww, Nikki's just funnin' with ya'!" Izzy exclaimed. "Just her own quirky humor. More subtle than mine."

"Owen's is almost more subtle than yours," Nicole said, raising an eyebrow.

"Which is the perfect segue into my next question," Izzy said, with a wicked smile on her face. "What do you think of Ezekiel and Bridgette going out?"

"How was that a perfect segue, exactly?" Nicole asked.

"You know, going from Owen to Ezekiel--"

"Crystal clear to me now," Nicole said, smiling brightly. Izzy stuck her tongue out at Nicole. Geoff did not look comfortable with the question, though.

"Did you really have to set them up like that?" Geoff asked.

"But Ezekiel liked Bridgette, so I thought it would be most kind of Izzy to do him this favor," Izzy said, looking excited.

"I kinda' thought it was creepy, how he was hitting on my girlfriend in the hot tub last year," Geoff said, not looking particularly happy.

"Oh, don't worry," Izzy said, seemingly oblivious to Geoff's concerns. "Zekey was just new to the whole outside world thing, and didn't understand how these sorts of things worked."

"He didn't know not to hit on another guy's girl?" Geoff asked, irritated.

"Fair game until married, and all," Izzy said, shrugging. "All Bridgette wanted was to stay friends, though."

"So she passed the test!" Nicole exclaimed.

"Sure, let's go with that," Izzy said, giggling uncomfortably. "Seriously, Izzy wasn't trying to hurt Geoff."

"So what was Izzy trying to do?" Geoff asked, annoyed.

"Izzy was just trying to make her new friend happy, since he was lonely, and he thought Bridgette was this hottie on both the inside and the outside--"

"Can't argue with that," Geoff said, smiling.

"Me neither" Nicole exclaimed, with a huge smile, which earned a glare from Geoff.

"Well, she intrigued Zeke," Izzy said. "He wanted to find out more about her, get to know her better, and learn what a truly beautiful person she is! And he made a good friend." Geoff looked a bit confused; Izzy tried to be serious for a moment. "That's a good thing, Geoffey."

"I… guess," Geoff said, unsure. "But could you not try to push them together anymore?"

"I can do that," Izzy said, still in her serious mode. "I think someone else kind of likes Zeke, anyway."

"Really?" Geoff said, still confused. "Who? I mean, I guess he's an all right guy, but I didn't notice anyone else liking him?"

"Yes, who, Izzy?" Nicole teased, batting her eyelashes. "Do tell us, Izzy, who you, Izzy, think likes Ezekiel, Izzy."

"Unfortunately, I don't have any reliable sources on that matter," Izzy said, resuming her usual tone. "Just something Explosivo told me."

"Who's Explosivo?" Geoff asked, confused as ever.

"Oh, she's a friend," Izzy said, starting to talk more rapidly than usual, even for her. "She's a good friend who likes the boom boom, and likes blowing things up, like Trojans, who she feels are bad with horse design, and Trojans, which she says don't fit right, and tacos, which make her explode twenty minutes later on the toilet, and--"

"**Way **too much information there, Izz," Nicole said, wide-eyed. "I don't think this Explosivo would appreciate you sharing her personal life with an international audience."

"Oh, she wouldn't mind," Izzy said, smiling. "She and I are like one with each other."

Nicole smirked. "Somehow, I believe that."

"Anyway," Izzy continued, "in honor of Geoff, I hereby name the seats that he's sitting on Bridgette."

"Um, why?" Geoff asked, scratching his hat.

"To honor and cherish the memory of Bridgette," Izzy proclaimed, standing up, with her hand over her heart.

"But she's still alive."

"No no… it's OK, Geoff," Izzy said, sniffing, wiping her nose with her hand, then walking over to pat Geoff's shoulder. "It'll be all right."

"Really, it's silly."

"And I think I'll call this whole set Bridgette. That ought to make you happy, Geoffey!"

"It's kind of annoying."

"Nah, it'll be fun! Here!" Izzy took out a glass of water, handing it to Geoff. "You can have a Bridgette of Bridgette!"

"Really, can ya' stop that?"

"And that, my friend, was what it felt like last year after Bridgette was voted off," Izzy said, followed with a "tsk, tsk."

"Gee," Geoff said, looking worried, "was I really that bad?"

"Close enough," Nicole answered, smirking.

"You know you're face is gonna' stick that way," Izzy said, smirking back. "But now, let's take a question we've received from Lulu. Dear Geoff, I am your biggest fan. Could you show me how you open your chest compartment?"

"Uh, what?" Geoff asked, confused again.

"OK, I don't even know what that one means," Izzy said, shrugging and ripping up the letter, before grabbing another. "This one's from Serena: Dear Geoff, you are awesome! I wish I could have parties like you do, but the last time I had this rockin' par--rockin'?" Izzy slapped the letter in disbelief. "I can't believe she spelled rockin' like that. Anyway, I had this rockin' party, with a couple thousand of my closest and dearest friends, but our downstairs neighbors called the police, and they threatened to shut us down. Thankfully, these guys were young and cute, but then more police came. They were older, but they still knew a good party when they saw one, but then, I guess the neighbors had enough, since they opened fire…" Izzy looked in shock. "OK, bad letter." Izzy set the letter on fire, crumpled it into a ball, then threw it behind the sofa, with smoke clearly seen from behind.

Izzy then turned to Geoff, putting on a fake sad face, and spoke in a fake sad voice. "But now, Geoff, I'm afraid our fun is over. We're sick of you! Go away! Or just move over a seat, because it's time for our second guest!"

Nicole then took over, smiling. "You all know him as the guy who put on heavy armor to ride a bike, ran off screaming through the hills at the sight of **Heather**--who I still don't like--and was a terrible driver!"

"Please welcome everyone's favorite scaredy cat, DJ!" Izzy exclaimed, standing up and applauding, along with the rest of the audience, as DJ nervously peeked out, then walked to the seat next to Geoff, where Geoff was previously sitting. "Welcome to the show, Disc Jockey!"

"Disc Jockey?" DJ asked, confused.

"Well, isn't that what a DJ is?" Izzy said, smiling. "I always knew you were a DJ in real life. What radio station do you work for? Are disc jockeys really that annoying in real life?"

"Are you a disc jockey?" DJ asked, annoyed.

"Ooh, burn," Izzy said, touching her arm, making a sizzling noise. "Ouch."

"DJ stands for Devon Joseph, not disc jockey," DJ said, with his arms crossed.

"Nya nya nya," Izzy said mockingly, moving her hand as a puppet. "You're certainly a cranky one this season."

"I was voted off second," DJ said, irritated. "That's not gonna' make Momma proud."

"Well, maybe you should've actually drove in your challenge," Izzy said, without much of any expression on her face. "You know, instead of just sitting there like a duck lined up in a row."

"I can't drive a stick, OK?" DJ said, exasperated. "Seriously, I had no idea what to do!"

"You could've not yelled at Katie," Izzy said nonchalantly. "Really, what the hell was that?"

"She was annoying everyone!" DJ shouted. "I don't really get how she's got so many people on her side now, 'cause I know I wasn't the only one she was bothering."

"She's a sweet girl," Izzy said, irritated.

"A little grating, but no one's perfect," Nicole said, shrugging.

"Come on!" DJ whined. "Not you two!"

"Sorry," Izzy said. "Not seeing the problem."

"What happened to the nice scaredy cat from last year?" Nicole asked.

"I got robbed this year!" DJ complained. "How many times do I have to repeat myself?"

"I dunno'," Izzy asked, smirking. "How many times do we need to tell you to go easier on Katie before you finally listen to us?"

"I would have gone deaf!" DJ shouted. "Would you want that on your hands?"

"Yes," Izzy said, bored, tapping her fingers on the sofa's arm.

"What about Noah?" Nicole asked, smirking.

"What about him?" DJ asked, irritated.

"He didn't exactly like Katie and Sadie either, you know."

"Sure," Izzy continued. "You remember how he made all those snide remarks, and eventually snapped at poor Katie. And then he felt really bad, and realized that Katie and Sadie were really nice people, and that hanging around them wasn't so bad after all. You remember that, right? Huh?" Izzy asked, slowing creeping closer to DJ, until she bent over with her elbows on DJ's leg, head in her hands, with DJ annoyed.

"Is it really that big a deal?" DJ asked, getting exasperated. "They were just plain irritating."

"Fine," Izzy said, nodding her head. "I can take a hint. Yes. So who's side are you on, anyway?"

"Huh?" DJ asked, blinking in confusion.

"You know, Team Heather or Team Gwen?" Izzy asked, then put a finger to her chin. "Or actually, that's not really right, because that makes it sound like you can't support both, and I see no reason one couldn't support both. I do. I want to find out who hurt Gwen, but I also know Heather didn't do it."

"You know?" DJ asked, irritated.

"Yeah, I know," Izzy said. "It's like a seventh sense."

"Don't you mean sixth sense?"

"No," Izzy said sarcastically. "That guy's ego is already bigger than Chris'. And he said I was too crazy to play Azula." Izzy shook her head, closing her eyes. "Seriously. I was born to play Azula!"

"Scarily, I can believe that," Nicole said, wide-eyed.

"What guy?" DJ asked, scratching his head. "Azula has a big ego? Who's he?" Izzy sighed audibly, rolling her eyes.

"Anyway," Izzy said, recomposing herself, "do you believe Heather's innocent or guilty?"

"Guilty," DJ grumbled. "We all know what the girl's like. People like her don't change. And she got me kicked off last year!"

Nicole rolled her eyes. "Now, I don't even really like Heather, but that wasn't her fault."

"Yeah it was!" DJ insisted. "If she hadn't been fixing herself up with all that frightening gunk, I would've made it further!"

"You also would've made it further if you hadn't run off like a ninny!" Nicole shot back. "That's like the one thing that wasn't her fault."

"Leshawna sure thought it was Heather's fault," DJ said, smiling a little. "She told me what she did to Heather after I left that night."

"I don't remember Leshawna doing anything to Heather that night," Nicole said, confused.

"Guess they edited that out," Izzy said, shrugging, then started talking excitedly, rapidly. "Leshawna and Gwen moved her bed out onto the lake after she fell asleep, and Leshawna disguised herself as the psycho killer, and started revving up a chainsaw. Heather was so scared she peed in her bed screaming, and tried to run away, but instead fell into the lake," Izzy trailed off, sounding guilty. "I feel bad that I was laughing at that now. Heather didn't really deserve that. It wasn't her fault you got voted off. Why did I think it was her fault last year? I can't remember."

"Everything was her fault last year," DJ said, annoyed, crossing his arms.

"How about we lighten the mood?" Nicole asked, smiling. "So where has Bunny been?"

"He's been at home," DJ said, smiling for once. "My Momma's been watching over him."

"What kind of a name is Bunny, anyway?" Nicole asked, skeptical. "I mean, it would be like if my name were Person."

"It's cute," DJ said, getting defensive. "Bugs' last name was Bunny. There's nothing wrong with it."

"So is Bunny your bunny's last name?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow.

DJ paused for a moment, looking irritated. "It's a good name."

"Mail time!" Izzy shouted, producing a large bag of letters. "All of these people have questions for you, DJ." Izzy took a letter from the bag, opened it up, and started reading. "Dear Duncan, how did--whoops!" Izzy said, laughing uneasily. "How'd that get in here. Let's try again." Izzy took another letter from the bag. "Marry me, Duncan… that's not right either," Izzy said, wiping sweat from her forehead, then started ripping through several letters. "Duncan, Duncan, Duncan… this is the wrong bag! Could someone get me DJ's fan mail?"

"Right away!" Nicole said, as she rushed off the stage. Geoff, DJ, and Izzy could only hear incomprehensible yelling before Nicole returned with three letters in her hand.

"That's it?" DJ asked, surprised.

"Sorry," Nicole said, shrugging. "You're not really that popular. You still got three letters, though."

"That's better than none!" Izzy exclaimed, as she took the letters from Nicole and opened one. "Devon Joseph, you may have already won $10,000." Izzy looked irritated, and crumpled the letter up and set fire to it, tossing it behind the sofa.

"Do you always set things on fire?" Nicole asked, nervous.

"Yes I do," Izzy stated flatly, as she opened a second letter. "Hi DJ! My name is Amy, and I'm you're biggest fan! I hate that Courtney girl, though--she's so mean to everyone--so you should dump her and marry me! Long live the Mohawk!"

"If she's Duncan's biggest fan, shouldn't she at least know his name?" Nicole asked, scratching her head.

"Do I have **any **fan mail?" DJ asked, irritated.

"We still have one more!" Izzy exclaimed, opening the final letter. "This one's from Clarissa. Dear DJ, you're the best one there! I love how nice you are to everyone, and so muscular, and I love your pet bunny. It's so cute! I wish I could give you a big hug. Actually, I know I'd scream if I saw you, though, I'd be so happy. I always scream when I get even a little bit excited, though. You're so nice, though. I really think you and Sadie or Katie would be really cute together. I mean, if I couldn't have you, but you probably get tons of fan girls, so you're probably not even going to ever read this one. I hope you win the new season, and I hope you can get in the finals with Sadie or Katie! Love, Clarissa."

Nicole smiled. "I wouldn't have used the word 'love' at the end, but she sounds sweet. And sane."

"And not DJ's type," Izzy said, about to burn the letter.

"Wait, why not?" DJ cried out.

"Oh, you know, the whole screaming in excitement thing," Izzy said, putting on a fake serious face. "You hate girls like that."

"But she sounds nice," DJ said, nervous.

"Nope, too late," Izzy said, lighting her lighter.

"Come on, Izzy!" DJ shouted. "I'd like to write her back!"

Izzy had a thoughtful look on her face. "Well, we'll see. This girl sounds a bit like Katie and Sadie, so you'll need to be nicer to them, or else this Clarissa is just going to drive you insane."

"Fine," DJ said, sulking.

"I'm happy to hear you two have a slim chance of getting along," Izzy said, not looking particularly happy, but handing DJ the letter anyway. "But push aside, DJ, 'cause we need to make more room on that seat."

"Our next guest has bullied Harold, made out with Courtney while also flirting with Gwen, and got in trouble with the law for trying to sell his father's hairpiece," Nicole said, smiling.

"Please welcome the fan favorite to end all fan favorites, Duncan!" Izzy exclaimed, as she and the others stood up to applaud as Duncan entered. Most of the girls in the studio audience started cheering wildly as he walked to his seat, smirking knowingly.

"We love you!" one audience member shouted.

"Dump the crazy in training and marry me!" another member shouted.

"No, marry me! Marry me!" a third member shouted.

"I saw him first!" the second member shouted, as the two started clawing at each other.

"I think he and Courtney are cute together," a fourth member shyly said.

"Shut up!" the second and third audience members shouted together, as they continued clawing at each other.

Duncan was grinning big at the sight of this. "All right, catfight. I like it!"

Nicole eyed Duncan suspiciously. "You know, I don't see it."

"Well duh," Izzy said. "He's a guy."

"Still don't see it," Nicole said, studying Duncan. "I mean, Cody's cute enough. Noah's pretty nice too, even if they're not my type. Just don't see the fascination with Duncan, though."

"More for everyone else, then," Duncan said, smirking.

"You have a lot of fan girls, obviously," Izzy pointed out. "But we want to know about Gwen."

"What about her?" Duncan asked, shrugging.

"You were flirting with her this year," Izzy said, shaking her head slowly.

"So?" Duncan asked.

"You were making Courtney jealous. So who do you like? Courtney or Gwen?"

"I like both of them," Duncan said, looking bored. "Gwen and I have a lot in common, and I know she can do way better than the dork she's with, but Courtney's just got that certain fire in her that I'm wild about."

"I bet Courtney would've made a good Azula too, now that I think about it," Izzy said, rubbing her chin. "If you had to pick one or the other, though."

"Why not both?" Duncan said, smirking. "I wouldn't mind having both."

"They'd mind," Izzy said, irritated. "You have to choose, or I'll drop an anvil on your head."

"What anvil?" Duncan asked.

"Darn it," Izzy said to herself, snapping her fingers. "I know I forgot something." She then turned to Duncan. "I still need to order that. Still, really, who would you pick?"

Duncan looked irritated, but finally caved in. "Courtney, OK? Courtney's just so perfect. So hot when she's having a temper tantrum, and so also hot when she's making out with me after a temper tantrum… and she's also got her sweet side, like she's been with Lindsay and Heather." Duncan started looking more irritated. "Lindsay I can understand, but I don't get why she's been so chummy with Heather. Courtney's usually pretty smart, but I guess even she makes mistakes." Duncan grew an evil grin. "Can't wait 'til I can rub that in later!"

"Won't happen," Izzy said. "Heather's changed."

"Somehow, you being gullible doesn't surprise me much," Duncan said, smirking again.

"Nya nya nya nya nya," Izzy said mockingly.

"Guess we don't need to ask whether you support Heather in this diary chaos, then," Nicole said.

"Nope," Duncan said, and started pounding his fists. "She hurt my Gwen, and anyone who hurts Gwen has to answer to me."

"You're not hitting a girl," Izzy said, looking upset.

"Does she really count?" Nicole asked, shrugging.

"Can't we at least wait to hear Heather's side first?" Izzy said, irritated.

Duncan shrugged. "Why not. Won't change anything."

"I'm happy that we're seeing eye to eye," Izzy said. "What do you think of Leshawna's and Courtney's rivalry?"

"Princess shouldn't keep accusing Leshawna of spreading Gwen's diary around," Duncan said. "Leshawna's got a little bit of a temper too, you know. Princess is just asking for it."

"What about between Courtney and Eva?" Izzy asked.

"I don't really know what iron woman's problem is," Duncan said, irritated. "If she messes with my girl, though, then she messes with me." Duncan thought it over for a moment. "She's not a girl, right?"

"I'm not sure myself," Izzy said, shrugging, then turned to Nicole. "I think Eva's single though."

"So stereotypical," Nicole said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, she scares me. So not interested."

"Well, I don't really know your type," Izzy said, then turned back to Duncan. "Anyway, I'm sure you know how popular you are."

"Can't keep the ladies off me," Duncan said, smirking. "I'm the guy Cody wishes he was."

"Cody's pretty popular with the ladies too, actually," Izzy said, grinning.

Duncan shrugged. "Whatever."

"Anyway, we have a whole lot of fan mail for you, Duncan," Izzy said, pulling out a large bag, opening a letter from it. "This one's from Summer. Dear Duncan, you rock! I hate Courtney though. I hate Courtney with the intensity of a thousand suns, and don't understand how she hasn't been killed yet, as she's such a wicked little person. Really, how can anyone stand the wretched excuse for a human being?"

"Is she just going to rag on Courtney for the whole letter?" Duncan said, irritated.

"Um…" Izzy paused, reading down the long letter. "Ooh, here we go! Duncan, you're such a good guy, and you should go out with Leshawna! You two would be great together!"

"Leshawna?!" Duncan shouted, shocked.

"You got me," Izzy said, confused, as she opened another letter. "This one's from Rose. Dear Duncan, you would be so proud of me! I got in a fight today, in your honor! One of my classmates was drawing during lunch, and let me tell you, this girl had some nerve! She was drawing a picture of you and Gwen, standing next to each other! Ooh, I couldn't believe that bitch would do such a thing, so I screamed in her face and beat her up. I got suspended for a week, but now she's afraid of me, and I made her afraid to draw ever again! D and C forever! Love, Rose." Izzy looked irritated, and crumpled up the letter and set it on fire. "Someone actually took the Buddy Bears' message to heart, apparently."

Duncan looked irritated. "Look, as much as I approve of catfights, that's a pretty lame reason to start one. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with Gwen, and there's nothing wrong if someone else thinks we'd be hot together." Duncan started to smile a bit. "Personally, I agree with them."

"Individual points of view," Nicole said, rolling her eyes. "What a concept."

"Here's another letter!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming, as she opened another envelope. "It's from Jake. Dear Duncan, you are hot! You should dump Courtney and go out with me."

"No way!" Duncan shouted. "I don't swing that way!"

"Of course," Izzy said, crumpling and burning the letter, as she drew another from the sack and opened it. "This one's from Veronika. With a k, apparently. Dear Dunkin," Izzy paused, irritated by the spelling. "This person's such a big fan she can't spell your name right, apparently. Or she thinks you're a big fan of doughnuts. Not really sure." Izzy coughed, then continued reading. "How r u?" Izzy screamed, then crumpled the letter and set it on fire too.

"You remind me of these twins I knew," Nicole said. "Always setting things on fire. She got in trouble when she set a fire inside a K-Mart."

"Moving on, here's a letter from Powell," Izzy said, irritated, opening the next letter. "Dear Duncan, you think you're so tough, but you're not. I could kick your butt, any time, any place, and you'll learn how lame you are, and PS, that ugly bossy girl of yours sucks, ha ha."

"He actually wrote out ha ha?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Let's try one more," Izzy said, irritated. "This one's from Trixie. Dear Duncan, you're so mean to Harold. It's obviously because you love him and want to make hot--oh come on!" Izzy shouted, as she took out a grenade, taped the letter to it, and threw it off to the side where it exploded, destroying the unused seats to her left. "Guess I'll need to get more seats," Izzy said, irritated. "Where are all the sweet letters, anyway?"

"I think I've heard enough letters," Duncan said, irritated.

"I actually agree," Izzy said, also irritated. "I was hoping we'd get at least a few nice letters, like that one DJ got."

"You can always go through them later," Nicole said, smiling. "There might be a nice one or two in there."

"You three move up to the top row, OK?" Izzy asked. "We need to make room for more guests down there."

Nicole started speaking as Geoff, DJ, and Duncan made their way to the top row of seats. "Our next guest splattered Heather in paint, cursed her teammates, and obsessed over a creep!"

"Here she is, Beth!" Izzy exclaimed, as she, Nicole, and the other three losers started clapping, though she was met with dead silence from the audience, as she shyly made her way to the seat, though not looking happy.

"Obsessed over a creep?!" Beth shouted. "What are you talking about?"

"Justin," Izzy and Nicole said in unison.

"Justin's a sweet guy. He's my boyfriend, you know," Beth said, giggling.

"Justin doesn't like you," Izzy said. "He outright despises your existence."

"You're just jealous, 'cause I have the nicest, most handsome guy!" Beth shot back.

"Not really," Izzy said, shaking her head. "I've dated him before. He's nothing special."

"No you didn't," Beth said, irritated.

Izzy sighed. "First of all, yes I did. Second, I can prove how Justin feels. I really think you should see this."

"Justin loves me," Beth said quietly, as Izzy turned the monitor above her on.

* * *

Beth and Cody were sitting near the cabins, with Justin standing before Beth.

"We're through!" Justin stated coldly.

"What? Why? What's wrong?" Beth asked.

"Because you're a hideous mark on a world of people who, while less beautiful than me, don't instantly repulse others with their pure unadulterated freakish appearance!" Justin was getting louder and more into it as he continued, as Beth started to cry, and Cody was looking notably upset. "Ugly people such as yourself don't even deserve to live! People like you should be drug out onto the street and shot! People like you go around, in your own little world, not even caring about how you hurt others' eyes, and you don't deserve anything, you little hellspawn prick!"

* * *

"So?" Beth asked, irritated. "Justin just did that so we could win the challenge, and he could protect me from getting voted off."

"And this?" Izzy asked, turning the monitor back on.

* * *

Justin was in the outhouse confessional, casting his vote for elimination. "It'll work this time. Beth is gone. Good riddance."

* * *

Beth looked like she was holding back from crying. "But why would he vote me off? He… he loved me. I know he had to have a good reason. Right?"

"And this," Izzy said, turning the monitor on again.

* * *

Lindsay was in the forest, waving, as Justin stood behind her. "Lindsay, it's me! Tyler!"

"Tyler!" Lindsay exclaimed, as she ran up to hug the man dressed in the red jumpsuit… though it wasn't Tyler. It was Justin.

"Tyler, I've been missing you today! I'm glad to see you!"

"So," Justin said, "wanna' make out?"

"Not right now," Lindsay said, excitedly. "First, I wanted to tell you that Heather and I made up!"

"Wonderful," Justin said, rolling his eyes.

"I know you think I should be careful, but really, she's changed. I know she has. You have to trust me on this, Taylor."

"That's nice. Can we get on with the making out now?"

"Really, it's so nice to be able to talk to her again." Lindsay was hugging Justin gently, looking into his eyes, tearing up. "It was hard when I had to blow up at her last year, and it was even harder to stay angry… especially when it was only hurting both of us. Heather needed me, and I needed her, and she's changed. It felt nice to let go of that anger. Kind of like I noticed Courtney--"

"Please! Shut up!" Justin was looking nervously at Lindsay, who looked stunned for a moment, before her face turned to a scowl.

"Something's wrong here," Lindsay said, irritated. "Something isn't right here. Why are you so angry, Tyler? That's not like you."

"Oh, I, uh, I'm sorry? That must've slipped."

"You're not Tyler," Lindsay said coldly, before it really started to sink in. "Wait! You're not Tyler! Help!" Lindsay started screaming.

* * *

"Lindsay's kinda' promiscuous," Beth said, irritated. "She's not much of a friend, I guess."

Nicole slapped her face. "Lindsay thought it was Tyler, then realized it wasn't Tyler."

"Or she knew it was Justin, and just wanted to steal him from me," Beth said, growing more irritated.

"How in denial can you be?" Duncan complained. "Lindsay's an idiot, and Justin tricked her into thinking he was Tyler. You know why? 'Cause Lindsay's hot, and you're not!"

"Duncan!" Nicole shouted, glaring at the punk.

"Someone had to try to get it through her thick skull, OK?" Duncan said, highly agitated. "He! Doesn't! Like! You!"

"That wasn't his fault," Beth said, crying. "Lindsay was just using her big-breasted powers to force Justin to fall in love with her!"

Izzy sighed. "Look, I really didn't want to have to do this--I mean, **really **didn't want to do this--but I have to do it." Izzy showed one more video on the monitor, with Justin in the confessional, screaming his head off, dozens of obscenities about Beth, the most horrible things they could imagine, taking seven minutes of it. Beth looked horrified and heartbroken.

"I… I need to be alone," Beth said, as she started sobbing, running off the stage. The others looked sad.

"I'm really sorry Beth," Izzy said, crying a little. "You really needed to know." Izzy then slowly walked over to the seat where Duncan was sitting to smack him.

"Hey, what was that for?!" Duncan shouted.

"Did you really need to call her not hot?" Izzy said, irritated.

"Would hideous have been preferred?" Duncan said, sneering.

"Fine!" Izzy shouted, going back to her sofa seat, and regaining her composure. "We still have one last guest for our show today, guys!"

"Can't wait for this one," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

"Be nice!" Izzy shot back. "Our last guest was pretty mean last year--"

"And is still pretty mean this year." Nicole stuck her tongue out at Izzy.

"But she's better now," Izzy said, glaring back. "Our next contestant was key in winning the Sailor Moon challenge--"

"And also key in exposing Gwen's diary to the world. Twice!"

"Once!"

"And kissed Trent in front of Gwen, leading to Trent's elimination last year--"

"Helped give Lindsay her confidence--"

"Which was all Courtney's doing."

Izzy started gnashing her teeth before continuing. "Please welcome Heather!"

Heather shyly walked onto the stage, but was greeted by boos from the audience. Some were throwing tomatoes at her. Heather just looked sad.

Izzy walked closer to Heather, hugging the girl, then smearing some of the tomato over herself. "Now we're twins! I want you to know that Kaleidoscope is going back on the diary case after this show is over."

"Thank you," Heather said, smiling.

"Anyway," Izzy continued, "Izzy already knows the answer to this question, but just for the record, did you or did you not spread that page of Gwen's diary around the campground this year?"

"I did not," Heather stated, smiling. "It was completely terrible that I stooped to that level last year, and I promised myself that I would never do anything like that this year."

"Good enough for me," Izzy said, beaming.

"Not buying it here," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

"Anyway," Izzy said, ignoring Nicole, "I'm not sure how much you want to talk about that incident that Gwen read from your diary. You don't want to talk about that, do you?"

"I'd rather not," Heather said shyly.

"That's OK," Izzy said.

"Hey, you made me talk about Katie and Sadie!" DJ complained. "Why are you letting Heather, of all people, off so easy?"

"You were being a doo doo head!" Izzy shouted. "This is a little more serious, and as much fun as Izzy likes to have--which is a lot--she also knows when it's time for serious Izzy to come out and play. Or not play, I guess." Heather smiled brightly. "So, I guess you're on Team Heather?"

"Of course," Heather replied.

"Heather," Izzy said, looking concerned, "would you like to talk at all about what made you change from the person you were last year to the beautiful person you are today?"

"Actually, I kind of think I was prettier last year, with my hair in tact," Heather said, giggling at her joke.

"To think I used to think you were hot," Duncan said to himself, irritated, earning him a glare from Izzy.

Heather looked like she was about to cry as she started to speak. "First, I lost all my so-called friends. Apparently, they no longer wanted to associate with me, feeling that I was giving my clique a bad name, seeing me on _Total Drama Island._ I tried to get in good graces with them, but they only tormented me and pranked me--a lot. A lot of pranking." Heather started to cry, and Izzy went to sit beside her, putting her arm around Heather. "I tried to find someone who I felt was beneath me to take control of, but when that wasn't working, and **they **started tormenting me, I went to the biggest geeks in the school, not even trying to take control of anyone else anymore--I just wanted someone to talk to!" Heather started sobbing loudly as she continued. "Every day at school, I wasn't just alone, but it was hours and hours on end of pure, seemingly unending hell! Assaulted every day by the jocks! Male jocks! The teachers all thought it was funny!"

Heather was crying uncontrollably and screaming. "I went to the police and **they **thought it was hilarious! **Funny! **Yes, I was a vicious, horrible bitch last year! I saw the reruns--it really hadn't hit me just how bad I was. Oh, and I **love **how they edited Leshawna!" Heather rolled her eyes, absolutely furious. "No one wanted to make the black girl look bad, so instead of showing the truth--that we were both in the wrong--the show doesn't want to look racist--Japanese doesn't count, apparently--and paints this picture to make **me **and **only **me look like Satan's child, while **she** comes off as a freaking national hero! **My life is hell! Absolute hell! I KNOW it's partly my fault, but give me a freaking break already! NO ONE DESERVES THIS!!!**"

Heather collapsed to the ground, sobbing profusely, as Izzy, crying herself, helped her up, and carried her over to the sofa. DJ and Nicole were crying too. Duncan was trying to hide it, but Geoff was crying pretty loudly himself.

"I'm sorry I said Bridgette was prettier than you!" Geoff exclaimed, still crying. "Really, you're an über-babe!" Everyone else, minus Heather, glared at him.

"I think Bridgette will forgive you this once," Izzy said smiling, though still tearing a bit.

Nicole, still crying, went over to hug Heather. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Heather asked.

"I said some mean things about you online last year," Nicole said. "I thought you deserved everything you were going to get. I just, well, never imagined all of this."

"Thank you," Heather said, smiling, though still crying. "I wish everyone else would give me a second chance."

"I wish I could show this tape to everyone at the camp," Izzy said, looking sad.. "I have a strict contract, though. Absolutely not allowed to do that. I can still sneak over there, though. Even though Chris doesn't like it, the producers felt that made for more interesting TV." Izzy pulled out a sack as large as Duncan's mail bag, dug through to pick out a single letter, and burned the rest. "I've read through those. We don't need those kinds of letters, but I wanted you to read this one," Izzy said, smiling, as she handed the single letter to Heather, which she opened up."

"Dear Heather, I really miss you. I know what you did to me--I don't have to remind you--but I know that beautiful girl I used to know is still in there. We used to have so much fun together, even though we were both outcasts, we still had fun along with Jewel, who… well, I know you two are friends still--how old is this letter? Jewel and I are definitely no longer friends."

"Some of these are pretty, pretty old," Izzy said.

"Anyway," Heather continued, crying, "even though I know what you did to me, I still believe in you, and I really hope we could be close again one day. Love, Taylor." Heather was crying, but looked confused. "But she set me up that night."

Izzy shook her head. "She didn't. She was set up to make you think she set you up. She didn't know anything about it. I mean, she didn't even know where you went to school."

Heather looked confused. "How do you know all of this?"

"Izzy has her ways," Izzy said, smiling innocently.

"Heather?" a voice asked from behind her. Heather turned around to see a short black-clad girl in heavy clothing and pale makeup all over her body with pink hair.

"Taylor!" Heather exclaimed, as the two girls hugged tightly. "I'm so sorry! So, so sorry!"

"Thank you," Taylor said softly, in a warm embrace. "I can't tell you how much I've missed you, even after--"

"Nope!" Izzy shouted. "Lawyers are watching, possible legal mess and all, don't really want that to happen."

"Oops," Taylor said, turning red. "I'm sorry."

"You, sorry?" Heather said, smiling brightly. "I don't ever want to hear **you **say that!"

"That's the Heather I miss seeing," another voice said. Heather looked up.

"Mom!" Heather exclaimed, running up to give her a tight hug, then dragging Taylor along for a three-way hug. "You've been so there for me! I'm sorry for all the tantrums I've thrown, how angry I've been, how--"

"Wait a minute," Duncan said, confused. "Didn't you celebrate when she was gone last year?"

"The producers wanted us to do that," Naomi said. "Said it would make for good TV. We were stupid and went along with it." Naomi looked ashamed. "Not our best moment."

"I forgot about that ages ago," Heather said, laughing. "Mom's been my best friend this past year. My only friend, really."

"Next year will be better," Taylor said, smiling. "I'll make sure of it."

"Thank you," Heather said, beaming.

"And Izzy hopes you make more friends, too!" Izzy said, jumping up and down excitedly. "Courtney, Bridgette, Harold, Sadie, Lindsay--that last one surprised me."

"Lindsay's beautiful," Heather said.

"I'll say," Geoff said, looking dreamy, completely not getting what Heather said.

"I meant inner beauty," Heather said calmly. "She may not have book smarts, and she may not have street smarts, but she has something else. Something special. And you too, Izzy. You're not a psycho-hose beast--"

"Oh, I am," Izzy said, grinning deviously. "I am!"

"OK," Heather said, smiling, "but you're more than that. You're also this sweet person who's gone through I have no idea how much trouble, just for me, who was so mean last year."

"Last year," Izzy said, sticking her tongue out. "Last year! And it wasn't just for you. I mean, Izzy's getting seriously moolah here!"

"You're not just doing this for the money, though," Heather smiled.

"Chris also likes the huge fame he's gotten from his show," Izzy said.

"Not that, either. Insane as you may be, it also gives you such joy to go out of your way to do something like this. Chris doesn't get any sort of joy out of this."

"True," Izzy said, stroking her chin. "What can I say? Izzy treats her friends well." Izzy went to give Heather another hug. "I guess that's it for this edition of _Total Drama Izzy."_

Not quite, Heather said, smirking. "You forgot to interview one of the losers."

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine." Izzy moved to the sofa. "So Izzy, what did you think of the time you spent on the island this year?" Izzy leapt over to the interviewee seat. "It was awesome! At least until I was unfairly kicked off." Izzy rushed back over to her sofa. "Did you make any friends?" Izzy jumped back to the other seat. "Heather, duh. What do you think we've been talking about the past several minutes? Oh, and Bridgette. I learned that Bridgette's a really cool gal. And Ezekiel. He's not so bad, either." Izzy hurried back over to the sofa, while Heather smirked. "Izzy, do you have any final words?" Izzy hurried back over to the seat. "That's all folks!" Izzy stuttered out, then leapt back to the sofa. "Well there you have it. Thank you for sharing some time with us, Izzy." Izzy then slithered over to the other seat again. "No problem!"

"Izzy, I have a question," Heather asked, smiling.

"You're not really the host," Nicole said, confused. "Then again, after… well, that display, I'm not really sure who the host is anymore."

"I'll let you ask one," Izzy said, smiling brightly.

"Do you like Ezekiel?" Heather asked, smirking.

"Of course," Izzy said. "Zeke's a good friend."

"Not what I meant," Heather sang.

"Really," Izzy said, nervous. "Well… I'm not… maybe… ooh, look at the time!" Izzy exclaimed. "I'm sorry, Heather, but our show must now come to an end. But fret not, because _Total Drama I'm-Not-Saying-His-Name _will be back next time. And we'll also have another edition of _Total Drama Izzy _before you know it, where we'll be dishing more dirt, and hopefully reconnecting long lost friends! So until next time, help control the pet pee population: have your fire hydrants spayed or neutered, goodbye everybody!"

The audience slowly left the room, as did the three boys, though Heather, Izzy, Nicole, Taylor, and Naomi stayed behind a bit longer.

"I like him!" Izzy exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

"Ezekiel?" Nicole asked. "Are we still--"

"Yes, Zekey!" Izzy exclaimed, hugging herself. "He doesn't seem to mind my psychosis. At least not too much."

"I'm sorry you were kicked off so early," Taylor said to Heather, looking sad. "I mean, I'm glad we got to make up, but it would have been nice if you could have won."

"She still might," Izzy said, smiling. "I mean, because of my new show, I'm not eligible, but I did see plans for this season, and, despite what Chris says, he has plans for bringing people back. But I don't want to spoil too much."

"Do you think he might bring back my little Heather?" Naomi asked, looking hopeful.

"I don't know," Izzy said. "I'll remain optimistic, though. No reason to fret too much yet."

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Nicole started, "but Heather, I hope you can get back on. And I'm really sorry about--"

"Really, it's OK," Heather said, smiling. "All I can do is hope for the best."

"And I can hook you and Harold up on a date," Izzy said. Heather blushed, as Izzy smiled excitedly, bouncing in place. "Really, won't be any problem. You two deserve a nice night, and Izzy's going to make it happen!"

* * *

Told you all everyone was going to be seen again! This will not be the last episode of _Total Drama Izzy,_ either. There were multiple reasons Izzy was eliminated when she was, this being one of those reasons. Who else but Izzy could come up with such a thing? I mean, other than whoever came up with it in _Total Drama Action, _I guess.

I also really hate writing for DJ, who I feel I can't do justice at all, hence why he wound up being the second voted off, when he was originally going to last considerably longer. Of all the characters, I struggle writing for him the most. Just doesn't flow at all for me.

For the most part, though--minus DJ's interview, anyway--this was easily the most fun chapter for me to write so far! I hope you all enjoyed this interlude! Day 7 will start with Chapter 14.


	14. Day 7, Part 1: The Spy Who Lindsay

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 14: Day 7: Part 1: The Spy Who Lindsay**

Chris was pacing the stage of the _Total Drama Izzy _set, by himself, looking angry. "This show sucks! How could my producers betray me like this?! This is--"

"Chris?" an intern whispered, peeking from behind the sofa. "The camera's rolling."

"Welcome to _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris exclaimed, waving his arms in the air. "Last time, our contestants raced on off-road race tracks that were totally my original creations, and definitely, **definitely** not ripped off from an obscure video game." Chris whipped out a picture of Noah, and tore it into confetti, throwing it in the air. "The Screaming Pansies got off to a strong start, but I kind of limited their gasoline supply, so they… um, cut!" Chris shouted. "We edit that out." Chris combed his hair before continuing. "The Screaming Pansies got off to a strong start, but tragedy struck when they ran out of gas shortly before winning the final race, giving the Killer Chrises another victory. I mean, sure, I'd love for Katie to get the boot, but that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon. Heather, on the other hand, who I also despise, seemed pretty likely." Chris' cell phone started to ring, and Chris answered it. "Hello? He… ooh. I don't like that word, OK?" Chris hung up the phone. "That gets cut too, apparently. Anyway, to make it quick, Heather was rightfully voted off, just like all the viewers wanted, and just like I wanted. Now if only I could figure out how to get them to turn against Katie." Chris' cell started to ring again. "OK, OK!"

Chris was starting to fume. "Things were looking good, until Izzy went behind my back to talk to my superiors about some stupid show called _Total Drama Izzy. _Talk about ego! I vehemently disapproved, but my superiors--my smart, intelligent, beloved superiors--loved her idea of an after show. I sincerely apologize for that mess, and assure you, my loyal fans, that I had absolutely nothing to do with that mess." Chris took out pictures of Izzy and Heather, and started ripping them into confetti. "You two suck! I would also like to point out that Heather is a liar, and I can prove that Heather spread that page around the campsite! I would also like to point out that Izzy's a liar, and we are **absolutely not **bringing back anyone this season. I said never return, ever, and I meant never return, ever!"

Chris turned on the monitor above the sofa, to show the scene with someone pasting Gwen's diary around the campsite. There was pretty clearly a crude drawing of Heather plastered over the actual culprit, which Chris did not look like he was expecting, as he quickly turned the tape off, looking nervous. "Can I not trust Chef to do anything right?!" Chris shouted as he slapped his face. "Cue the _Total Drama Chris _theme already!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Computer animation costs money! Chris wanted it done right, should've sprung for something better than paint! (Chef picks a bucket of paint off the ground.) Not even MS Paint!

* * *

"It's about time!" Gwen exclaimed, sitting in front of the cabins with Leshawna. "I was afraid we might get stuck with her the whole season again."

"Nope, she's gone!" Leshawna exclaimed. "Feel free to thank me."

"You really got everyone to vote off Heather," Gwen said, smiling.

"Well, almost everyone," Leshawna said, looking irritated. "Lindsay and Harold certainly didn't, and I can take a pretty good guess who Courtney voted for."

"I don't get her," Gwen said. "She can be nice sometimes, but once she gets something in her head, she doesn't let it go. Like how I'm trying to steal Duncan away. I still wonder why Izzy was voted off before her, though."

"No clue," Leshawna said, shrugging. "I guess everyone was afraid of her. I mean, she is a little bit--" Leshawna started looking around suspiciously, before whispering in Gwen's ear, "crazy."

Gwen giggled. "She is, but she's not so bad."

"I had to ride a bike with her," Leshawna said, rubbing the back of her neck. "Believe me, you did not want to have to do that."

"Automatic invincibility for that challenge by not participating?" Gwen asked, smirking. "Doesn't sound like a bad deal to me. Wouldn't surprise me if Izzy knew about Chris' plan there all along."

Leshawna looked down. "She probably did. Probably enjoyed snooping around Chris' plans."

"That's not such a bad thing, though, is it?" Gwen asked, smiling. "Nice to have an equalizer on our side."

"I guess," Leshawna said.

"Probably could've found proof that Heather plastered that page around the camp. And then you could've shoved that in Courtney's face." Gwen elbowed Leshawna. "I wouldn't mind taking her down a peg."

"You want her gone?" Leshawna asked, a bit too excited.

"No," Gwen said. "Just wish she'd stop thinking I'm trying to take Duncan away. I've already got a guy."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I still can't figure out why Lanisha wanted Iris gone so badly. I thought everyone liked Iris.

* * *

Trent was hiding behind a nearby tree. Not particularly well, and he couldn't hear most of what Gwen and Leshawna were talking about. He did catch one word, though.

"Duncan," Trent said to himself, worried. "She still wants Duncan."

"Dude," Tyler said, walking up behind Trent, startling him.

"Don't do that! I'm trying to spy. She's talking about Duncan."

"You're making yourself paranoid," Tyler said, rolling his eyes.

"But I need to know what she's saying," Trent said, worried. "I need to figure out how I can compete with Duncan."

"What about your guitar?" Tyler asked. "She likes when you play that, doesn't she? Duncan can't play guitar."

"You're right!" Trent exclaimed, throwing a couple of punches into the air. "Trent one, Duncan zero." Tyler rolled his eyes, then started dragging Trent over to Gwen and Leshawna. "Wait, wait… what are you doing?!"

"You need this," Tyler said, annoyed, as he pushed Trent before Gwen and Leshawna.

"Uh, hi?" Trent asked, trying to smile.

"Yeah, hi, are you all right?" Gwen asked, cocking an eyebrow. Trent just stared, shivering a bit.

"Tell Gwen what's bothering you," Tyler said, irritated.

"Nothing's bothering me," Trent said weakly.

"Trent, I think we need to talk," Leshawna said, dragging Trent elsewhere. Gwen and Tyler just stared.

"That was about Duncan, wasn't it?" Gwen asked, annoyed.

"Yes," Tyler said, sighing.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Seriously, Trent. Not interesting in Duncan.

* * *

Leshawna dragged Trent a short distance away before letting go. "What's wrong with you, boy?"

Trent looked worried. "I heard you and her talking about Duncan."

Leshawna sighed. "She's not interested in Duncan."

"Are you sure?" Trent asked, still worried.

"Yes. She was complaining about how paranoid Courtney is about her and Duncan. She don't seem to be the only one paranoid, either." Trent looked down. "Look, you really shouldn't worry so much. It's starting to bother everyone. Just go… play her a song, or something."

"A song," Trent said, smiling. "I can do that. Thank you."

"No problem," Leshawna said. "I like to look out for my friends here."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Weren't Lequisha and Greta friends? I don't get how Lequisha could do that to poor Greta.

* * *

"Isn't he, like, sooo dreamy?" Katie asked to Sadie, as the two were on the beach, admiring Justin lying there, getting a tan.

"Oh, he's dreamier than that, even!" Sadie exclaimed. "I'm going to marry him one day!"

"Uh, no you're not!" Katie shot back. "He already has a girlfriend!"

"Oh, no!" Sadie shouted. "He **so **does not like you more than he likes me!"

Katie rolled her eyes. "I meant Beth."

"Oh yeah," Sadie shyly said. "I forgot about her."

"Justin's made his choice," Katie said. "We both just have to accept it, that Justin's chosen neither of us."

"But I don't have anyone," Sadie said, tearing up a bit. "At least you've got Noah."

"And what does that mean?" Katie asked, annoyed.

"You know, you like Noah, and Noah likes you--"

"We don't like each other!" Katie shouted. "Not like that, anyway. I mean, I know Noah's nice, but Justin's a god!"

"I thought you said he was taken," Sadie said, confused.

"Oh yeah," Katie said, making a doinky expression. "I'm a bit absent-minded sometimes."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: Sometimes? Try all the time! Do they ever shut up? I'm trying to have some me time here, hello!

* * *

"You girls fightin' over Justin?" Leshawna asked, walking up to the best friends.

"No, she was," Sadie said, giggling.

"Was not!" Katie shot back.

"He's really not worth your time," Leshawna said. "You haven't heard about him and Lindsay?"

"What?" Katie and Sadie asked in unison.

"He was cheating on Beth with Lindsay."

"But… but… he's Justin!" Sadie exclaimed. "He's so dreamy!"

"Justin couldn't do something like that!" Katie exclaimed. "Could he?"

"I think Lindsay suckered him into it," Leshawna said. "Not to excuse what he did, but you know how that girl's always trying to show her body off." Leshawna pointed to her kumquat shirt. "I don't need to show skin to show off this bodacious bod!"

Sadie was smiling, but Katie looked annoyed. "Um, hello?" Katie pointed to her clothing.

"Ooh," Leshawna said, wide-eyed. "Sorry about that."

"You really think Lindsay would do that, though?" Sadie asked, worried.

"She totally wouldn't," Katie said, irritated.

"I don't know," Leshawna said, rubbing her chin. "She did help Heather last year, and she was helping her this year too."

"But Heather hasn't done anything this year," Sadie said, worried.

"Yeah, she did," Katie said, annoyed more, "but Lindsay didn't mean to help her! Lindsay's just a little… well… you know."

"Stupid, I know," Leshawna said. "She's not that stupid, though. She remembers what Heather did last year."

"Yes, she does," Katie said, irritated. "She's innocent, though. I mean, it wasn't really that smart of her to be suckered in by Heather again, but seriously, she wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose."

"On purpose, accident, who cares!" Leshawna shouted. "She hurt Beth, plain and simple!"

"But I didn't even know they were going out," Sadie said, with her finger on her chin.

"It doesn't really matter," Leshawna said, exasperated. "The girl is ruining lives, whether she's doing it on purpose or not."

"Oh," Sadie said, looking confused. "I guess you're right." Katie was looking annoyed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

(Katie slaps Sadie.)  
Sadie: Ow! What was that for?  
Katie: Lindsay's nice. It's not her fault she's so gullible. Leshawna should just forgive her.  
Sadie: But what about her and Justin?  
Katie: It's Lindsay. I'm sure there's some bizarre explanation for it.  
Sadie: I'm sure we can trust Leshawna, though. She's always been so nice and perfect before, hasn't she?

* * *

"Are you OK, Eva?" Bridgette asked, concerned, as Eva started hurling dumbbells around the camp.

"No," Eva said, irritated. "Courtney's still around, and she needs to pay!"

Bridgette sighed. "Courtney's really not that bad. I mean, I know she's a bit rough sometimes--"

"Sometimes?!" Eva shouted. "Sometimes?! She knocked me out cold! No one does that!"

"I thought you wanted someone as tough as you," Bridgette said, trying to smile.

"Changed my mind!" Eva shouted. "I want that girl dead! How **dare **she think that **I **needed anger management classes!"

"Eva, you do!"

Eva stopped, stunned for a second. Bridgette looked fearful, but Eva just shook her head in shame. "You're right. I'm sorry. I've got some issues."

Bridgette still looked a bit fearful as she started to pat Eva's shoulder. "Why don't you try to calm down, and we can try to talk about Courtney, OK?"

"Thank you, Bridgette," Eva said, smiling. "I really don't like hanging out with someone so puny and weak."

"Thanks," Bridgette said, disgusted.

"I'm sorry," Eva said nervously. "It's just that you're so pitiful and puny and… and… I need to shut up."

"Why is being so weak so bad, anyway?"

"Weak is useless!" Eva shouted. "I need to prove my worth, that I deserve my place in this world!"

"Or you could show everyone you're a good person," Bridgette said, smiling. "You just need to try to stay calm."

"Thanks," Eva said. "I'll try."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: I know Bridgette's right. She's smart, even if she's not very tough. I really don't think I'll be able to do it, though.

* * *

"Want to practice surfing again?" Bridgette asked, smirking.

"I'm game!" Eva exclaimed. "I'm just going to grab a bite to eat first."

"Sure thing," Bridgette said, smiling. "See you on the beach!" Bridgette walked off, as Eva headed for the dining hall. On the way, she ran into Leshawna.

"Hey, Eva!" Leshawna exclaimed. "You ready for some revenge on crazy in training?"

"Not really," Eva said, back to her usual scowl. "I was getting some lunch, then off to surf with Bridgette."

"Oh, her," Leshawna said, rolling her eyes. "She's falling for Heather's tricks too. Good thing we finally got that girl kicked off."

"Bridgette is a bit too naïve for her own good sometimes," Eva said. "Still, I could use a bit of her optimism. She could use a bit of my pessimism too, though. For her own good, really. She's setting herself up for a fall."

"Still, revenge on Courtney, remember?" Leshawna said, smiling. "She's been trying to usurp Heather's old throne since day one, and she won't leave poor Gwen alone!"

"Well, it's like I said. Too naïve for her own good," Eva said, irritated. "Still, that girl is tough."

"I know a way to even the odds, though," Leshawna said, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: I wasn't too keen on this plot. I'm not a big fan of this sort of trickery, but Courtney deserves everything she's getting here!

* * *

Leshawna was digging a large hole in the forest, with Eva confused. "So we're going to throw her in the hole?"

"Good luck with that," Leshawna said, wiping her forehead. "We're going to have to trick her this way." Leshawna covered the hole with sticks, with lots of dirt and leaves on top. "Blends in pretty well, doesn't it?"

"I guess," Eva said. "Why would she come this way, anyway?"

"Oh, you'll see," Leshawna said, grinning deviously.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: The plan was simple. Set a note for Courtney, saying it's from Duncan, to meet her in the woods where the hole is, and wham! Courtney's trapped down there for who knows how long!

* * *

"What's this?" Courtney asked, picking up a note with her name on it in front of her cabin. _Dear Courtney, I miss you something fierce. Could you please meet me in the woods? I'll be waiting at the tree marked with a red X. Love, Duncan._

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I was impressed. Duncan actually called me by my name for once. I mean, who knows why Duncan would want to meet me in the middle of the woods. I mean, I had to find out. He might've been in trouble, and wanted to spend his last moments making out! (Courtney thinks it over.) If he's not dying, I want that part edited out.

* * *

Courtney was walking through the woods, trying to look for the tree with the red X on it. She could hear someone following her, but couldn't see who it was. "Duncan's always got to play these games," she said to herself, sounding irritated, though she was clearly excited. "Where is that X?" Courtney was walking around, worried she may never find it, but eventually saw it. "The X!" Courtney exclaimed, rushing toward the tree. "Duncan, you can com**aauugghh!"** Courtney had stepped into the hole, hurting herself on the way down, and had hurt her leg, not allowing her back up. The hole was too deep, anyway, being more than double her own height. "Hello?!" Courtney shouted. "Can someone help me out of here?"

"No!" Leshawna shouted, walking to the edge of the hole, looking down at Courtney from above. "Knew you'd fall for that note I wrote. Tsk, tsk. Don't even know your own boyfriend's handwriting."

"Leshawna?" Courtney asked, surprised. "But what did I do?!"

"Let me think!" Leshawna shouted, looking angry. "Picking on Harold, picking on Bridgette--"

"Wait," Courtney said, confused, "when did I pick on Bridgette?"

"When she smashed your violin?" Leshawna asked, irritated. "Or when she burned down the tent? Any of that ring a bell?!"

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Bridgette's clumsy. I have a temper. We forgave each other. Friends do that." Courtney then teared up a bit. "Actually, I guess I never really did apologize. Killed my violin or not, she was the only person who really tried to reach out to me last year. Well, her and Duncan, but really."

"Duncan thought you were hot, and Bridgette doesn't hate anyone," Leshawna said. "That don't mean nothin'! Trying to get Bridgette and Geoff to break up over a coin holder--"

"They weren't together yet!" Courtney shouted. "And what kind of a friend are you?!" Courtney screamed, pulling out one of the pages with Gwen's diary stuff on it. "Deliberately spreading Gwen's diary ar… wait a minute." Courtney stared intensely at the paper.

"I didn't do that! Get over it!" Leshawna yelled.

"Except I can prove that you did it!" Courtney exclaimed, with a wicked grin on her face.

"You can't prove if 'cause I didn't do it!" Leshawna shot back.

"But you said so yourself, you wrote that note from Duncan!" Courtney screamed. "And this diary page has the **exact same handwriting!** I was right this entire time! How could you do this to Gwen?!"

Leshawna looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Look," Leshawna said, "It's not my proudest moment. I'd do anything for Gwen, and I wish I could've helped her without hurting my home girl."

"Then why did you do it?!" Courtney screamed.

"Not important!" Chris shouted, as he walked up to the pit. "What's important is that I had nothing directly to do with this, and as such, can't be sued. Leshawna, as a contestant, is within her rights to manipulate the game as she wishes, and I'm within my rights to destroy the videotape here."

"No intern?" Leshawna asked, surprised.

"I don't trust them with something this important," Chris said, not happy at all. "Courtney is the only one who knows about this, and everyone thinks she's just a conspiracy nut."

"And dead-on right," Leshawna said, looking nervous.

"I can hear you guys, you know!" Courtney shouted.

"Don't care," Chris said, as he took the tape out of one nearby camera. "No one's going to believe you. Except maybe that idiot who's been hanging around you. But no matter: you'll be leaving tonight, where you're not going to cause any more trouble."

"What do you mean?" Courtney asked, angry.

"The Screaming Pansies are going to lose tonight. I'm the judge for today's challenge, you see, and no matter what happens, I can decide, on a whim, to make your team lose."

"No Nicole this time?" Leshawna asked. "She didn't seem too bad. I mean, aside from comparing me to Eva, anyway."

"Can't afford that risk," Chris said. "The Screaming Pansies will lose, and you can be sure to pinpoint Courtney's not participating in the challenge as the reason your team lost."

"Not participate?!" Courtney screamed.

"Nope!" Chris exclaimed bizarrely happily. "We're leaving you down there until the challenge is over."

"This'll teach you a lesson!" Leshawna shouted.

"What lesson?!" Courtney shouted. "I was right!" Courtney started fuming. "You also had Izzy voted off, didn't you? You were worried that she was going to find something, so you held back voting off Heather!"

"Yes," Leshawna stated coldly. "Plus, a little revenge for that bike incident." An acorn hit Leshawna's head, and she started rubbing it. "Ow. That hit pretty hard."

"Didn't that bike incident help save your butt?" Courtney asked, still fuming.

"Look, I still don't really get what Courtney did to you," Chris said. "I also don't care!" Chris climbed up a tree to remove the tape from another camera, but there was no tape in it. "Guess we forgot to put one in here. Well, we'd better get ready for the challenge!" Chris said, smirking, as he and Leshawna walked off.

Courtney started to look sad and scared as they walked away. "**Help!**"

From seemingly nowhere, Izzy jumped down into the hole. "Hi-ya!"

"Izzy?" Courtney asked, confused.

"Don't worry," Izzy said, giggling. "I saw the whole thing. Or almost the whole thing. I was investigating in the treetops, and I heard you scream, so I rushed over to see what was happening, and I saw Leshawna, and heard Leshawna," Izzy started to talk less sing-songy and more angry, "and heard everything she said and did, and **kicking me off!**" Izzy resumed her usual tone. "Anyway, you're not getting the boot tonight. Izzy won't allow it, nuh-uh."

"What do you mean?" Courtney asked.

"I mean I have blackmail here!" Izzy exclaimed, producing a tape. "Got everything that Leshawna and Chris just said here. And being out of the game and all, I'm completely allowed to do what I want with this tape. I'm going to get my old friend Nicole to judge things fair and square here."

"Nicole?" Courtney asked, blinking. "Who's Nicole?"

"Oh, you know, the cool girl who judged the cosplay challenge?" Izzy said, smiling.

"For some reason, she's not ringing a bell," Courtney said, blushing. "I guess I'm still a bit dazed from the fall."

"Don't worry. No one's perfect!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming.

"I don't suppose you can get me out of this hole," Courtney said.

"Oh, no problem!" Izzy exclaimed, as she wall-kicked her way out, then let down a vine. "Just climb up, OK?"

"Problem," Courtney said, worried. "There's something wrong with my leg. I can't climb up."

"Ooh," Izzy said. "That's going to make this trickier. I'll find something. Are you going to be all right here by yourself?"

"No," Courtney said, exasperated. "But if I'm going to get out of here, I guess I don't really have a lot of choice."

"I'll try to hurry," Izzy said, concerned, as she darted off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (with red spots on her bandanna) Where's Courtney? I haven't seen her in a while. It's not like her to just disappear like that. I needed someone to help me dry my nails. I'm not good at doing hard stuff by myself.

* * *

"Campers!" Chris announced in front of the cabins, before the contestants, save for Courtney and Lindsay, "today's challenge is a very simple one! All you have to do is suck up to me! Chris Maclaine! The team who sucks up to me the best wins!"

"That's it?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's the challenge?"

"What?" Chris asked. "I thought it was a good idea."

"You would," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"Killer Chrises aren't off to a very good start," Chris complained. "You all have some time to decide how you're going to brown your noses, though. It's time for my nap now. I've had a very busy day so far."

"Doing what?" Gwen asked, smirking. "Sleeping?"

"Hush!" Chris complained.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Seriously, does everything have to revolve around Gwen? Always "me, me, me!" Why do I have to put up with the most selfish teenagers on the planet? I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with these monsters!

* * *

Chris had entered his trailer. As he closed the door, Izzy was there waiting.

"Here's Izzy!" Izzy exclaimed, grinning deviously. "I know what you did last summer."

"Yeah," Chris said, annoyed. "Hosting _Total Drama Island. _Everyone knows that!"

"Oh, I know," Izzy said. "But I also know what you did this summer."

"Hosting the thrilling sequel to _Total Drama Island, Total Drama Chris!" _Chris shouted.

"Must you always speak as if you were a walking spokesperson?" Izzy said, rolling her eyes. "I also know what you did today in the forest at the hole that Courtney was stuck inside, uh huh. Yeah. Gotcha' there, smart guy."

"So what?" Chris asked, shrugging. "Am I not allowed to poke fun at Courtney's klutziness? I think Bridgette's been rubbing off on her." Chris chuckled to himself.

Izzy was grinning madly. "Did it, by any chance, occur to you why you were unable to retrieve one of the tapes from one of the cameras in the forest? The one high in the tree? The tree I was hiding in?" Izzy took a tape out from her skirt. Chris grew wide-eyed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (weakly) Crap.

* * *

"Would you like to watch it now?" Izzy said innocently. "We can if you like."

"No," Chris said, clearly angry, but remaining calm. "What do you want?"

"Nicole is going to judge," Izzy said. "You are not going to judge this contest."

"But that's not fair!" Chris whined. "How am I supposed to make sure Courtney loses if I'm not judging?"

Izzy slapped Chris. "That's the **point**, you dolt!"

"Yeesh, all right!" Chris whined. "If it's going to get you off my back, fine!" Chris looked around suspiciously. "That all?"

"Uh huh," Izzy said. "We're not all cruel sadistic monsters, you know. Some of us are sweet chaotic monsters!" Izzy proclaimed, pointing to herself. "Oh, and one more thing."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Izzy? Sweet? Ha! No!

* * *

Courtney was lying at the bottom of the pit, holding her leg in pain, waiting for Izzy's return. And after a while, she did return, with Chris and Chef in tow.

"Finally," Courtney complained. "I think my leg is getting worse."

"Don't worry," Izzy said. "We'll have you out in a jiff!"

"Do I have to?" Chris whined. "I'll get dirty!"

"I can push you if you don't go willingly," Izzy remarked irritated. "This is partly your fault, you know. Chef, you pull her up from up here, all right?"

"Don't see why I had to get involved in this," Chef said, irritated.

"That's what I'm paying you for," Chris said, seething.

"One, you ain't payin' me squat!" Chef shouted. "Two, why are we letting Izzy order us around, anyway?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: As if I didn't know about the thing with Leshawna. Fun playin' with pretty boy, though.

* * *

Izzy and Chris helped lift Courtney up, with Izzy on Chris' shoulders, with Chef lifting her Courtney out of the hole and onto solid ground. Izzy then wall-kicked her way back up, and after mulling it over, dropped a vine for Chris to climb.

"Thankfully, none of this will air," Chris said, annoyed.

"Oh, it will," Izzy said with her typical wide grin. "I put another tape in the camera to record everything." Chris slapped his face.

"Izzy?" Courtney asked weakly. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Izzy asked, tilting her head in confusion.

"I was snippy down there," Courtney said, lying limp. "I'm really trying not to do that."

"It's OK," Izzy said, hugging her friend. "You weren't feeling well. I mean, you aren't feeling well. Really, we need to take care of you. Chef! Take care of Courtney!" Chef grumbled, but reluctantly carried Courtney away. Izzy then turned to Chris. "Nicole will be watching with me from the Playa' des Losers. I'll bring her back when you're ready for her verdict."

"Fine," Chris grumbled. "Whatever."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: You know, it's really doing me good, trying to loosen up this year. I mean, Izzy's still an annoying overly caffeinated girl, Lindsay's still annoying with her stupidity at times, and Heather… well, she's not really mean anymore. OK, she's not the best example, but Izzy and Lindsay, they're good friends, and I really appreciate all they've done for me.

Izzy: Courtney, you know I see these things. And you're still uptight and critical. I can make fun too, you know!

Lindsay: I really think Courtney's noticed how geniusy I've gotten since last year!

* * *

Katie and Sadie noticed Courtney going into the medical tent, and walked in to see her. "Are you OK?" Katie asked.

"Not particularly," Courtney said. "There's something wrong with my leg." Katie and Sadie flinched when they noticed.

"OK, that was a stupid question," Katie said, embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Courtney asked, confused.

"Well, I know stupid questions bother you," Katie said shyly. "I really hope you're not too mad."

"Why would I be mad?" Courtney asked.

"Well, you just kind of do that sometimes," Katie said, rubbing her foot on the ground.

"I'm sorry if I do that," Courtney said, ashamed. "You don't deserve that."

"Thank you," Katie said, but looked worried. "Anyway, I was worried for Lindsay."

Courtney suddenly started seething. "What did Leshawna **do **to her?!"

Katie and Sadie blinked. "She's psychic," Sadie said, looking to Katie.

"How did you know this was about Leshawna?" Katie asked, confused.

"Lucky guess," Courtney said, angry.

"Leshawna said something really weird," Sadie said. "That she was trying to steal Justin away from Beth."

"Leshawna is making me sick!" Courtney shouted. "Seriously, what's her problem--**urgh!**" Courtney screamed, rubbing her leg.

"I think you'd better try to stay calm," Sadie said, worried.

"I'll try, but she makes me so mad," Courtney said weakly. "Lindsay did not try to steal Justin away from Beth. Justin tried to trick Lindsay by disguising himself as Tyler."

"Justin wouldn't do that!" Sadie shouted. "Justin's hot!"

"What do we really know about his personality, though?" Katie asked. "I mean, he hardly even said anything last year. Even watching the reruns, drooling over him, I couldn't figure out his deal."

"Oh, but he was still so hot to look at," Sadie said, dreamy.

"I know!" Katie exclaimed. "Just kept watching his scenes in slow motion!" The two squeed together. Katie then looked to Courtney, embarrassed. "Ooh, I'm sorry about that one."

"You're worried about me," Courtney said, smiling. "You're allowed one of those noises."

"Leshawna wouldn't lie," Sadie said, confused. "Leshawna was like Miss Perfect last year."

"You know, I thought that too," Katie said. "But she did have a bit of a temper. Just like Courtney!"

"Thanks," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.

"Oops. Sorry," Katie said sweetly. "Still, Lindsay's too sweet and awesome to do anything mean.""She was helping Heather last year," Sadie said, irritated. "You know, the mean girl?"

"I thought you forgave Heather," Katie said, smirking. "If you forgave the she beast herself, why not the pawn she duped?"

"Maybe because Lindsay's going around stealing Justin away from me!" Sadie shouted. "I mean Beth!" she quickly added on.

"Or maybe Courtney's whole conspiracy theory is actually true!" Katie shouted. "Maybe Leshawna did spread Gwen's diary around!"

"She did," Courtney stated.

"I mean, sure, Courtney may be mean sometimes, and not get along with people, but she's also like the second smartest person here!"

"Who's the first?" Sadie asked, smirking.

"No one!" Katie shouted, looking nervous.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: Noah and Katie sittin' in a tree.  
Katie: Stop that.  
Sadie: K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  
Katie: That's enough.  
Sadie: First comes love, then comes marriage.  
Katie: Come on! (Katie starts slapping Sadie.)  
Sadie: Then comes Katie with the baby carriage! Eeeiii! (Katie, irritated, tackles Sadie to the ground.)

* * *

"Are you all right, Courtney?" Bridgette asked, entering the tent.

"Not really," Courtney said, pointing to her leg.

"Ooh," Bridgette said, flinching. "Tough break." Courtney, Katie, and Sadie glared at her for that comment. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean--"

"It's OK," Courtney said, smiling. "Have you seen Lindsay around?

"I haven't," Bridgette said, looking down. "I was wonder where she's been. She'd be worried if she saw your leg."

"Right now, I'm more worried about where she is," Courtney said, starting to cry. "I'm worried about what Leshawna might have done to her.

"I'm sure Leshawna wouldn't do that," Bridgette said, smiling. "She doesn't have anything against Lindsay."

"I'm not so sure," Katie said, looking sad. "She was trying to tell me and Sadie that Lindsay was cheating on Tyler with Justin--"

"Justin was dressed up like Tyler," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes. "Way out of context there."

"I know now," Katie said, looking nervous. "I really think Courtney's right about Leshawna, though. I'm worried about Lindsay, too."

"Maybe I should have a talk with Leshawna," Bridgette said, looking irritated. "If she doesn't trust Heather, that's one thing--even if I really think she's changed, I can see her point of view--but there's something not right here." Bridgette started to leave, but Courtney stopped her.

"Bridgette?" Courtney said, tearing up. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Bridgette said, confused. "Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry I yelled at you when you accidentally broke my violin last year. It was just an accident, and I never really apologized for yelling at you."

"I kind of smashed your violin, though," Bridgette said, looking guilty. "You had a right to get angry."

"I wish I hadn't though. And I'm sorry I screamed at you after you accidentally burned down our tent."

"That totally wasn't my fault," Bridgette said, looking sheepish.

"I know," Courtney said, chuckling a little. "I saw the reruns. Really bizarre set of circumstances there. I'm sorry I screamed at you there, though. You were feeling bad enough without that."

"It's OK, really," Bridgette said, hugging her friend. "That was just who you were. I accepted it then, and I accept you now!"

"I'm better now, though," Courtney said, looking guilty. "At least I'm trying to be."

"I've been meaning to ask," Bridgette said. "What brought that on, anyway?"

"Maggots!" Chef yelled. "I need to fix bossy girl up somethin' good, and you weenies need to report to pretty boy, pronto!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: When did bossy girl get so popular, anyway? Thought everyone hated her.

* * *

"Campers!" Chris exclaimed in front of the cabins, before the campers, minus Courtney and Lindsay, you may begin sucking up… now!"

"You're really beautiful today, eh?" Ezekiel said, walking up to Chris, and took out some flowers. "For you, my love!"

"Eww," Chris said, disgusted. "I said suck up to me, not hit on me. Unless you're a girl. The girls may hit on me."

"Lookin' good, handsome," Eva said, playfully winking at Chris. "Come give me some lovin'!"

"On second thought, no one hit on me!" Chris shouted. "Seriously, that's creepy. But not as creepy as some of the stuff we're going to be seeing soon! Who will win this challenge? I can't say I know anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gwen asked, irritated.

"I can truthfully say it now means absolutely nothing," Chris said, irritated. "Which team will suck up to their favorite host better?"

"Ryan Seacrest is here?!" Sadie exclaimed, then squeed.

"No!" Chris shouted. "I'm your favorite host!"

"Um, no you're not," Katie said sarcastically.

"Not very good at the sucking up game," Chris said, irritated, rubbing his temples. "But stay tuned to find out which team will be sending another of their members home in the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on _Total Drama Chris!"_


	15. Day 7, Part 2: Blonde and the Beautiful

****

Total Drama Chris

**Chapter 15: Day 7: Part 2: The Blonde and the Beautiful**

"Help! Help!" Lindsay cried out repeatedly, at the bottom of the same pit Courtney was down earlier, also with a broken leg. "Someone? Anyone? I'm sorry!" Lindsay thought for a moment. "I really don't remember what I did, but whatever it was, I'm sure I'm sorry that I did it."

* * *

Chris was sitting in a recliner, set near the beach. "And welcome back to _Total Drama Chris! _When we left off earlier, we had the teams trying to suck up to me, and whoever did the best job would win! Not too complicated this week."

"You are a true master at monologuing!" Owen exclaimed. "Nay, a genius!"

"You flatter me," Chris said, grinning.

"And you feed me! It's the least you deserve!"

"You're right," Chris said, smirking. "I deserve more!"

"I can chew your food for you, Chris," Owen said, smiling brightly. "That way, you don't have to work those jaw muscles just to get food down."

"That's disgusting," Chris said, reeling. "No pre-chewed food."

"How about if I just get something to eat then?" Owen asked, twiddling his fingers.

Chris shrugged. "Knock yourself out." Owen excitedly ran off. "As you can see, neither team is doing particularly well so far. I'm still waiting for someone to knock my socks off without completely creeping me out, like with that pre-chewed food thing. Which team will win? I have no idea." Chris looked irritated. "Really."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Why were we supposed to suck up to Kyle? Didn't he know that no one really liked him?

* * *

Leshawna was relaxing in a chair on the campground, when she was snatched by Izzy to a more secluded area.

"I know what you did," Izzy said, irritated.

"Did what?" Leshawna said, with confidence.

"I know you posted Gwen's diary around the camp," Izzy said, irritated.

"No I didn't," Leshawna said, laughing. "You and your made-up--"

"Would you like to see this tape?" Izzy said, completely serious. "I have the entire confession here, with you, Courtney in the hole, Chris and you conspiring… would you like to watch?"

"OK, OK," Leshawna said, nervous. "Look, can tell Gwen myself? I'd rather she hear it from me, all right?"

"Izzy is a kind and generous soul, so she will allow it," Izzy said. "I can always leak this tape if necessary, though."

* * *

****

Confession Outhouse

Leshawna: (looking scared) Guess I'm gonna' have to bite the bullet here. Really didn't want to have to do it. Really hope Gwen can forgive me.

Izzy: (biting down on an actual bullet) These are pretty tasty. You know, I think it would be sweet if Gwen forgave Leshawna. I don't think there's a chance in hell, but it would be sweet.

Lindsay: (picking up a bullet from the ground with tooth marks in it, looking frightened) Was someone killed in here?

* * *

"Hey, Gwen," Leshawna said, walking up to Gwen, who was sitting in front of her cabin, drawing something which she put away when she heard Leshawna.

"Hey," Gwen replied.

Leshawna sighed. "Gwen, you know, I feel really bad about that diary thing."

"It's OK," Gwen said, smiling. "Heather isn't just going to change. Still that same wicked girl she always was."

"You're right," Leshawna said, smiling. "But what if someone else spread that page around?"

"Who else would do that, though? It was Heather. Everyone knows it was Heather."

"I know," Leshawna said, putting her arm around Gwen. "But what if it was Courtney? You know, she sure was quick to defend her. Might still be mad about you and Duncan."

Gwen sighed, looking irritated. "There was never any me and Duncan." Gwen looked nervously to Leshawna. "You don't think Courtney really did that, do you?"

Leshawna paused for several seconds, then sighed. "I don't. I mean, I was just asking, hypothetically, since we don't know a hundred percent that Heather did it."

"I'd probably kill her," Gwen said, trying to sound funny, but looking like she meant it. "I mean, Courtney can be irritating sometimes, maybe a bit of a bully, even, but for her to stoop that low," Gwen paused looking down. "I'd want her to pay."

"What if Courtney apologized?" Leshawna asked, nervous.

"No," Gwen stated flatly. "That's something major. She can't just apologize and expect me to be buddy-buddy with her." Gwen thought about it for a moment. "Actually, I never really was buddy-buddy with her."

"I think it might be nice to forgive Courtney. Maybe she thought she was doing it for a good reason," Leshawna said, nervous.

"Wait a minute," Gwen said, irritated. "Are you trying to tell me something?" Leshawna looked worried. "I think I know what this is."

"No, really, it's not--"

"You really think it was Courtney, and you want to forgive Heather," Gwen said, angry. Leshawna wiped sweat from her forehead, smiling slightly. "I can't believe you'd be suckered into believing the whole 'Heather's changed' thing."

"She hasn't!" Leshawna insisted. "I was just wondering, in case there was a slight possibility--"

"Well, she's been kicked off, anyway, good riddance," Gwen said, smiling a bit. "I guess, if you really think she might be innocent, you can try being civil with her. Just be careful not to let your guard down. She'll pounce, and you know it."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: (She sighs.) That could have gone better. I wish I could've told her the truth, but I also wish I could make her understand that I did it for her own good! I needed to get rid of Heather to protect my girl from her, and I couldn't just wait for Heather to strike!

Lindsay: One person at my school said they thought I was the best and nicest person last year, as well as the prettiest.

* * *

"Hey, Bridgette," Leshawna said nervously, walking over to Bridgette, who was lying on her board in the lake.

"Hey," Bridgette said, not looking up.

"Bridgette, can I talk to you?" Leshawna asked, worried. "I really need to get something off my chest."

"Sure," Bridgette said, getting up, and paddling over to the shore.

"And I really need you to keep it a secret. Don't tell Gwen. Or Courtney. Or anyone else." Leshawna looked around suspiciously. "Or Gwen."

"I really wouldn't want to break Gwen's trust by keeping something from her she should know," Bridgette said, smiling.

"Well," Leshawna said, rubbing the back of her neck, "maybe you can break it gentle?"

"I can try," Bridgette said. "What's on your mind?"

"I kind of did something bad," Leshawna said, looking down.

"Couldn't be that bad," Bridgette said, laughing. "You're like the nicest person here!"

"I think that's you, actually."

"You're going to give me an ego," Bridgette said, turning red. "It can't be that bad, though. I mean, I know it's not like you would humiliate Gwen by posting her diary page all around the camp."

"Who said that?" Leshawna asked, nervously.

"Um, Courtney," Bridgette said. "I thought you knew Courtney said that. I mean, I know she means well, but I wish she'd realize already that you wouldn't do that."

"But I did."

Bridgette just stood there frozen for several seconds, before finally sitting down, with her legs crossed, and her arms propping up her head.

"Bridgette?" Leshawna asked. "I'm sorry I--"

"Why?" Bridgette asked, angry.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: As angry as Bridgette was, I'm glad I didn't tell Gwen first.

* * *

"Look," Leshawna said, "I know it was a really rotten thing to do to Gwen, but I had to do it."

Bridgette rolled her eyes. "No you didn't."

"OK. Maybe I didn't **have **to do it, but I did it for Gwen! I was looking out for my girl!"

"How?" Bridgette asked, sounding like she wanted someone dead. "How was revealing to the world about Gwen's pregnancy scare **helping **her?!"

"OK," Leshawna said, looking scared. "I know it doesn't sound good when you word it like that--"

"Then word it better!" Bridgette screamed, throwing her hands to the sky.

"OK. I--I can do that," Leshawna stuttered. "You see, Heather--"

"Wasn't involved," Bridgette said, scowling with her arms crossed.

"But she was going to be!" Leshawna shouted. "She just didn't have the opportunity yet."

"Actually, she did," Bridgette said, angry. "You remember Chris' secret challenge? The one where you thought it was worth winning by throwing Heather into that pool of vomit? **Twice?!**"

"Yes," Leshawna said weakly.

"Heather didn't do her challenge. Do you know what it was?"

"Um… no. Probably just wasn't evil enough for her."

"It was to read that very diary page you posted everywhere! Except she didn't do it!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Apparently Heather isn't above littering, though. I'll need to get on her case about that later.

* * *

"So that's why I found it crumpled in the forest?" Leshawna asked, looking surprised. "But why wouldn't she flaunt it to the world?"

"Maybe she's changed?" Bridgette asked, annoyed.

"Or maybe it wasn't the right moment to strike," Leshawna said, looking around. "She was waiting for the perfect moment for her revenge!"

"Or maybe she actually changed!" Bridgette shouted.

"Girls like that never change!" Leshawna shouted. "We both know how evil that girl was last year."

"'Last year' being the key phrase," Bridgette said, rubbing her forehead in frustration.

"I needed to get her kicked off the island before she could hurt anyone. And it worked!"

"And all you needed to do was act just like Heather did last year," Bridgette retorted.

"I'm nothing like that monster," Leshawna stated coldly. "Heather and I are nothing alike. Nothing."

Bridgette sighed, then rolled her eyes. "You're right. **She's **a nice girl."

Leshawna started tearing up a bit. "I'm really sorry I had to do that."

"You didn't** have** to do **anything!**"

"Do we really have to argue semantics?" Leshawna asked, annoyed.

"Yes," Bridgette. "Yes we do!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I know it usually bugs me when Courtney gets that picky, but seriously, it's important here. Leshawna did have a choice, and she made the wrong one!

* * *

"How else could I get Heather kicked off?" Leshawna said, trying to hold back tears. "How else was I going to protect Gwen?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: (holding back tears) Don't cry, girl. Leshawna don't cry.

* * *

"Dealing with it **after **Heather did something! Which she wasn't going to do!" Bridgette hair was starting to stand on end somewhat. "Have you even tried to get along with Heather this year? Did you even try to get along last year?!"

"She was nasty from the start! She wouldn't jump!"

"Courtney didn't jump," Bridgette said. "I was mad at her too. But I gave her another chance, and we really became close. You didn't really give Heather a second chance."

"I apologized to her!" Leshawna shouted.

"And you didn't mean it," Bridgette said, annoyed. "Neither of you meant it, but that doesn't exactly make you the bigger person." Bridgette then smirked. "Even if you **are **the bigger person."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I know that was mean, and bringing weight into it was crossing the line… I'm sorry about that, Leshawna. You were just making me so angry, though!

Leshawna: I couldn't believe Bridgette would hit below the belt like that… felt like slappin' her silly, but that was just gonna' make things worse.

* * *

"You won!" Bridgette shouted. "Heather's gone, just like you wanted! Happy?"

"Well, I'd be happier if I didn't have to--"

Leshawna was cut off by Bridgette's screaming. "Cut that out! And tell Gwen. You really need to tell Gwen."

Leshawna blinked. "I think it would be better to keep this just between us."

"Then I'm telling her!" Bridgette shouted. "I really think she should hear it from you, but if you don't tell her soon, I will!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: (irritated) Yeah, I'm starting to think Bridgette may not be the nicest one here after all.

Lindsay: But then he got mad and yelled at me when he saw me eating a steak, saying he can't believe I'd go against my morals and eat meat, and that I should shove my surfboard up my butt. Did I used to be a veterinarian and forgot? I didn't remember buying a surfboard, either.

* * *

"Are you all right, Courtney?" Gwen asked, entering the medical tent, seeing Courtney there.

"No," Courtney said, pointing to her leg. "Look what Leshawna did to me!"

Gwen sighed. "You know, that's really getting annoying."

"She posted your diary all around the camp," Courtney said, sympathetically. "And I can prove it finally."

"No, you can't," Gwen said, annoyed. "You can't prove it because she didn't do it. She's my best friend here. She wouldn't do that to me."

"Well take a look at this!" Courtney said, pulling out Gwen's diary page.

"We've all seen that," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"Well compare that to--wait," Courtney said, looking nervous. "Where did that letter go?"

Gwen sighed. "I really wish you'd quit accusing Leshawna of posting that," Gwen said, irritated. "Really, she wouldn't do that."

Courtney looked down before quietly speaking. "She would."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I usually love being right, but for once, I actually kind of wish I were wrong about Leshawna. Then again, since I'm never wrong, I wasn't holding out much hope.

Lindsay: (holding "Duncan's" note) I was so sorry to hear that Courtney and Derek didn't have a good time together.

* * *

"Why do you hate Leshawna so much, anyway?" Gwen asked, irritated. "Really, what did she ever do to you?"

"This!" Courtney shouted, pointing to her leg. "It's more about what she did to you and Heather, though."

"She didn't do anything to me! And Heather deserved whatever she did to her!"

"What did Heather do this year? Really?" Courtney asked, irritated.

"Spread that diary page around the camp?!" Gwen shouted.

Courtney rolled her eyes. "It's like talking to a wall. I'm forgetting why I saved you from elimination, again."

"You wanted to get along better, or some crap like that," Gwen said, irritated. "You're trying so hard, too."

"Well what do you expect?" Justin asked, popping his head in the tent. "You really thought Gwen was going to be your friend when she's boinking your boyfriend?"

"Gwen, do you have something I can throw?" Courtney asked, angry.

"Fine," Justin said, shrugging. "I can take a hint. You don't care that Gwen and Duncan have been seeing each other behind your back."

"No, I don't!" Courtney yelled back. Justin then left. Courtney looked to Gwen. "What is he up to now?"

"Trying to drive us apart," Gwen said, smirking. "Like we needed help."

Courtney sighed. "I know you don't believe me, but I'm really trying to help here. Leshawna is bad news. And I know I've overreacted about you and Duncan. It just seemed like you were trying to steal him away with your goth hooks."

"I don't even know what that means."

"Don't worry about it," Courtney said, smiling. "I really don't know why we didn't get along last year."

"Oh, I dunno'," Gwen said, smirking. "You didn't believe in inter-team mingling, you liked pelting me with oatmeal-ish food, you didn't think I was a team player--"

"That's enough," Courtney said, irritated. "That was supposed to be hypothetical."

"You've changed this year," Gwen said, smiling. "Can I ask why?"

"You can ask, but I'd really rather not answer," Courtney said, looking down. "People change, though. Lindsay's different, Heather's different--"

"You really believe that," Gwen said, looking defeated.

"Yes," Courtney said, nodding. "I do."

Gwen sighed. "I guess she can't really do too much damage from off the hotel, anyway."

"You never know," Courtney said, smiling. "I mean, Geoff, Duncan, and Izzy have all been back--"

"Wait," Gwen said, startled. "They've been back? Is that allowed?"

"Probably not," Courtney stated flatly. "It was great to see Duncan again, though." Suddenly, a thought entered Courtney's mind. "Izzy!"

"Izzy?" Gwen asked, confused.

"Yes!" Courtney exclaimed. "Izzy has video evidence proving Leshawna spread your diary page around!"

"Yeah, I'm doubting that," Gwen said, not smiling. "And she's been kicked off anyway, remember?"

"She'll be back," Courtney said, smiling wide. "She's not very good at staying off, and I'm thankful for it!"

"You?" Gwen asked, surprised, then smiled. "Happy that someone's breaking the rules? You've definitely changed from last year."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: I really don't think Courtney has any ulterior motives for accusing Leshawna like that. And I really hope that Izzy does have this supposed videotape proof of who did it. I mean, don't get me wrong; it was obviously Heather, but it would be nice since some people are in denial. I'm really surprised Heather was able to fool so many people again this year.

Lindsay: It's so sad to see Gabrielle in denial like that.

* * *

"I feel needy," Chris whined, as he was being carried by an exhausted Owen around the camp, with Cody tagging along behind. "Make me a sandwich!"

"What kind, oh glorious one?" Cody asked.

"Surprise me," Chris said, smirking. "And Owen, pick up the pace! I don't get to feel the wind in my face when we're stopped."

"Yes, oh superior one, whom is the greatest being on the planet, nay, the universe!" Owen said, then started breathing heavy.

"Man, I love this challenge!" Chris exclaimed, then kicked Owen. "Faster, horsie, faster!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Worst challenge ever. Like I was going to demean myself like that. Most of the other campers kind of ignored the challenge, too.

* * *

"Lindsay's such a terrible person!" Sadie shouted, somewhere on the campgrounds.

"She was tricked! Duh!" Katie snapped back. "Leshawna's trying to get rid of her--I don't know why--and Justin's trying to--well, I really don't want to think about that." Katie said, looking disgusted.

"Oh, sure, it's poor Justin's fault," Sadie said, looking annoyed. "Of course it can't possibly be Lindsay's fault!"

"It's not!" Tyler shouted, getting up from sitting nearby. "Lindsay wasn't cheating on me."

Sadie closed her eyes and shook her head. "Poor guy. So in denial."

"Nuh-uh!" Katie shouted. "Lindsay's sweet and could so totally upgrade, but she's not like that!"

"Thanks," Tyler said, irritated.

"Ooh, did you hear about Gwen and Duncan?" Sadie asked.

"No," Tyler said, scratching his head. "I can't say that I have."

"Oh," Sadie said, "I was actually talking to Katie."

"Never mind me," Tyler said, irritated as he was walking away. Katie wasn't too happy either, though.

"Courtney's paranoid enough about that," Katie said. "It really wouldn't be nice to try to drive a bigger wedge between her and Gwen."

"But doesn't Courtney deserve to know?" Sadie asked, confused.

"Yes," Katie said, irritated. "The truth is that Gwen has done nothing wrong and doesn't deserve any of the stuff that's been happening to her lately."

"Are you sure it isn't karma?" Sadie asked.

"No," Katie stated flatly.

"Do you mean 'no' as in 'no it's not karma,' or 'no' as in 'I'm not sure whether or not it's karma?" Sadie asked, confused. Katie slapped her face.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I was really sad that Katie and Sarah weren't getting along. They used to be so cute together, so happy and (Knocking interrupts.). Excuse me for a moment, please. (Lindsay sticks her head out the door.) I'm sorry, Bridgette. I'm making up for lost time in here. But don't worry: I remembered not to pee in here this time! (Lindsay comes back in, turning red.) I still can't believe I did that last year. No wonder everyone called me stupid.

* * *

"What's this?" Chris asked, disgusted, as Owen handed him a plate of vomit.

"This was your breakfast this morning that I stole," Owen said. "Eggs, bacon, and pancakes! It was delicious, and you deserved to enjoy it yourself, so I vomited it back up so that you would have a chance to enjoy it, oh supreme one whom is my reason for waking up in the morning, for none is as wonderful as he!"

"That's disgusting! I don't want that!" Chris shrieked when he saw some hair fall from his head. "And what's this?!"

"A haircut, my lord," Cody said, holding a pair of scissors. "Hair as perfect as yours needs special care!"

"**Leave me alone!**" Chris screamed.

"Yes, oh pointy-haired one," Cody said, bowing, walking backward away from Chris.

"As you wish, oh overseer of all, whom is responsible for giving us life, as he could have willed us dead at birth if he so wished, and is the only person ever whom could knock out Chuck Norris."

"**Now!**" Chris screamed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (rolling her eyes) Come on people! Is it really so hard to use whom properly? At least Lindsay never tries to sound so pretentious.

Owen: I don't even really know who Chuck Norris is, but Izzy says he's the most powerful person alive. So what better way to flatter Chris than to say he's even tougher?

Izzy: (shaking her head) Owen, **I **couldn't even beat Chuck Norris.

Lindsay: Is whom a real word, even? Or do people say that when they forget to say who instead?

* * *

Courtney was lying in her bed in the medical tent, happy to see someone was coming in… then frightened to see that someone was Eva.

"Um… hi," Courtney said, uncomfortably, with Eva staring her down. "You know, it wouldn't really be a fair fight if you pummeled me now."

"And throwing these straight for the back of my head when I wasn't looking was fair?!" Eva bellowed as she dropped a large bag of dumbbells onto Courtney's foot; Courtney was trying to hold back the pain, but it clearly showed in her face. "You're scum! Absolute, bottom-of-the-barrel scum!" Eva punched Courtney in the gut before leaving, muttering obscenities to herself.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I was trying to protect Heather! If she wanted a fair fight, she would have left Heather out of it!

* * *

Eva looked pleased with herself as she exited the medical tent. Bridgette was headed that way, and had a look of dread on her face upon seeing Eva's smile.

"Please tell me you went in there to apologize," Bridgette said, nervous.

"No," Eva said, smiling somewhat. "I gave that cretin some of her own heavy-fisted medicine."

Bridgette slapped her face. "Why?" Bridgette shook her head. "Why?"

"She said I needed anger management!" Eva yelled, crossing her arms. "And she was cruel to everyone last year!"

"No, she wasn't," Bridgette said, irritated. "She wasn't cruel to **anyone**--that was Heather."

"Oh, sure," Eva said, irritated. "I saw the way the treated everyone during that fear factor challenge last year. Treated everyone like crap!"

"She was trying to support everyone," Bridgette said. "She could've used a bit more tact, but she was trying to support her team!"

"I'm so sure," Eva said. "Yell at everyone else, then chicken out on the Jell-O dive."

"She was scared," Bridgette said, irritated. "Everyone's afraid of something."

"She's a hypocrite!" Eva barked.

"Or a nice girl who was coming off worse than she realized," Bridgette said, annoyed. "She's not perfect."

"She thinks she's perfect," Eva said, smirking. "Someone needs to teach her a lesson about that."

"Please," Bridgette said. "Just leave her alone."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: You know, I wish I could let this whole thing with Courtney go. I mean, sure, she's a horrible putrid excuse for a human being, but it really would be nice if I were able to let go of the anger. As long as I'm still angry, she's still got power over me, and she doesn't deserve that!

Lindsay: (wide-eyed) Eden's scary.

* * *

Chris was standing in front of the cabins, before the rest of the campers, minus Courtney and Lindsay. "Campers, I must admit, you all did not really do a good job today. Really, you guys sucked! You guys are so pathetic at sucking up to me, yet one team has to win. Nicole, come on out."

Nicole walked out from behind the cabins and stood beside Chris. "And the winning team, for Cody's dedication to the task, and Owen's, well, really, really bizarre behavior which both bothered Chris **and **was legitimate sucking up at the same time, the Screaming Pansies are the winners!"

Chris shoved Nicole down to the ground, looking at her angrily. "Took you long enough. Two words. All I wanted to hear from you was two words: Killer Chrises." Chris paused for a moment. "Or Screaming Pansies. That's all! I don't really care about the long-winded explanations."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: So the wrong team won. Thanks a lot, Izzy. I hope you're happy.  
Izzy: (jumping down from the ceiling, startling Chris) Oh, but I am, Chris! I am!  
Chris: **Out!**

* * *

Katie was looking down, then looked around, and noticed someone missing. She then walked up to Gwen and Bridgette. "I'm really worried about Lindsay. Has anyone seen her around?"

"Nope," Gwen said cheery. "Don't really mind. Makes it quieter."

"I'm worried, though," Katie said. "Leshawna was badmouthing her earlier, and I haven't see her all day."

"You think Leshawna would've done something to Lindsay?!" Bridgette said, freaking a bit.

"Of course she didn't," Gwen said, irritated. "Why would Leshawna hurt Lindsay?"

"I don't really know," Katie said, confused. "We really need to find Lindsay, though. I wish we knew where to look."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (looking like she's about to cry) I really am as stupid as people say. How could I have missed the big hole?

* * *

Lindsay was lying weak at the bottom of the hole, crying softly, in a fetal position.

"Lindsay? Is that you?" Izzy asked, appearing from above before jumping down to greet her up close. "It is you! Ya' know, you really shouldn't play around deep gorges like this one, nope nope! It's a little bit dangerous. Of course, danger's my middle name, but for most people, this sort of thing is a bad idea."

"Izzy?" Lindsay asked weakly. "I think Courtney's in trouble. You need to help her."

Izzy smiled. "She's getting help right now. I need to help you right now, though. I'll be right back!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: How long was that poor girl down there? I wish I noticed earlier that Lindsay didn't seem to be near any of the cameras, but sadly, Izzy didn't notice until Katie pointed it out at the end of that challenge. Then I realized Katie was right, and Lindsay had to be someplace where there were no cameras. Or no working cameras, like that pit Leshawna dug earlier. Such a mean girl, that one, yeah. I could tell you.

* * *

"Guys!" Izzy shouted, running toward Katie, Bridgette, and Gwen. "Lindsay needs our help!"

"What's wrong?" Katie asked, upset. "Did Leshawna do something to her?"

"No," Izzy said. "Or sort of… it's complicated." Gwen rolled her eyes, but followed Izzy along with the others, to the hole where Lindsay was trapped.

"Is Courtney OK?" Lindsay said weakly, still lying there.

"Courtney's good," Katie said. "Or at least mostly good."

"Where's Sally?" Lindsay asked, still lying there.

Katie looked confused, until she figured it out. "Oh. Sadie. That's not important. Right now we just need to get you out of there!"

"Katie, come down with me," Izzy said. "Gwen, you stay up here to help pull Lindsay out. Bridgette… might be better for you to just wait."

Bridgette shook her head. "I'm not that clumsy."

"True," Izzy said. "Still, we really don't want Lindsay to get more injured here."

Bridgette smiled a bit. "Fine, then."

Izzy leapt into the hole, and had Katie jump down onto her. "I'm sorry, did I crush you?"

"That felt awesome!" Izzy exclaimed. "Feel free to do that anytime!"

"I'll pass," Katie said.

"I'm sorry Katie," Lindsay weakly said as Izzy was carrying her up to Katie, who was bringing her over to Gwen to pull up.

"Why are you sorry?" Katie asked, confused.

"Well, you and Sally aren't together now," Lindsay said, crying a little. "And you're trying to help me now. I caused the fight, didn't I?"

Katie looked shocked, but tried to keep it to herself. "It's not your fault, Lindsay, really."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: It's Leshawna's fault!  
Sadie: No, it's Lindsay's fault!  
Katie: Leshawna!  
Sadie: Lindsay!  
Katie: Leshawna!  
Sadie: Lindsay!  
Katie: (pauses, then smirks) Lindsay!  
Sadie: Leshawna!  
Katie: Lindsay!  
Sadie: Leshawna!  
Katie: Fine, you win! It's Leshawna's fault! (Katie left the confessional.)  
Sadie: Yay! I knew I could get Katie to… wait. (Sadie looks confused.) What was I arguing about, again?

Gwen: I know Lindsay and I haven't always been on best terms, but aside from being impossibly stupid and annoyingly gullible to the point of working with my sworn enemy both last year and even this year… you know, she's really not that bad.

* * *

"How did you fall in?" Bridgette asked, concerned, as Gwen pulled her to safe ground, where she was lying.

"I wasn't looking where I was going," Lindsay said, ashamed.

"What were you doing out here, anyway?" Izzy asked excitedly, as she leapt out of the pit.

"Courtney," Lindsay said, saddened. "Courtney went missing, and I was looking for her. I hope she's OK. I didn't find her."

"She fell in that same hole earlier," Izzy said, then turned to Bridgette. "Might as well jump in now. It's inevitable."

"I'm not that bad, really!" Bridgette pleaded.

"Uh huh," Izzy stated flatly. "Not buying it. I'll help bring Lindsay back to camp, though. I've graduated from medical school, uh huh. They call me Izzy Howser, MD."

"Is that like a reference to Dr. Gregory House?" Katie asked, confused. "House is almost like Houser."

"My dear Kate," Izzy said, shaking her head. "You have much to learn about pop culture that isn't from this millennium."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: You know, it saddens me that they teach useless things like who John A. Macdonald is--boring--yet important people like Neil Patrick Harris and Katie Crown get completely ignored!

Katie: OK, I know Neil Patrick Harris is Barney Simpson, but what does that have to do with _House, M.D.? _And I have **no **idea who Katie Crown is, even if she does have a pretty name.

Lindsay: Who's Patrick harassing? I don't like this Patrick guy if he's harassing Katie. Katie deserves her crown! I hope she shares with Sable, though. They're both so nice!

* * *

Courtney looked as some visitors entered the medical tent. Bridgette, Katie, and Gwen walked in, looking down, followed by Izzy, who was carrying Lindsay.

"Lindsay," Courtney said, looking worried. "Is she OK? I guess she needs the bed? I'm pretty sure I can walk!" Courtney jumped out of the bed, and hurt her leg. "OK, I probably should've taken that more slowly."

Izzy laid Lindsay down on the bed, who was looking in pain. "I'll find Nurse Hatchet," Izzy said before she ran off.

Courtney was furious. "I can't believe Leshawna would do this!"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Leshawna wouldn't hurt Lindsay."

"Yes she would!" Courtney and Katie shouted in unison.

"Look, can we not talk about that?" Gwen asked. "Lindsay's hurt. Isn't the important thing making her feel better?"

"But Leshawna did do it," Lindsay said. "I mean, not the hole, but… actually, I forgot where I was going with that."

"How about this," Bridgette said, smiling, putting an arm around Lindsay. "We'll find out who did it, and then we'll make that person pay, whoever it is. Sound good?" Lindsay nodded.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (angry) i.e. Leshawna.

* * *

"Clear out!" Chef barked, as he entered the medical tent. "Time for me to do my own special magic."

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"More than anyone else here!" Chef shouted. "Now scram!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Well, obviously, we're voting off Justin.  
Sadie: No! Not Justin! He's dreamy!  
Katie: And he's a bully. Don't you remember what he did to Lindsay?  
Sadie: You mean what Lindsay did to Justin. Really, Justin's too hot to be mean!  
Katie: Earth to Sadie! He uses his unbelievable, perfect, delicious hotness (Katie starts to drool.)  
Sadie: Um, Katie?  
Katie: Oh yeah, point is, he's evil, like Heather.  
Sadie: You mean nice like Heather. (Katie slaps her face.) Gwen should go, though, after what she did to Courtney.  
Katie: Sadie, for the last time, Justin was lying! Gwen would never do that to Courtney!

Bridgette: Justin's just plain… well, worse than Heather was last year. It really bothers me to think about what he tried doing with Lindsay.

Justin: Yeah, it wasn't very nice, throwing Gwen under the bus like that, but hey, I needed to turn people against Gwen somehow.

Eva: Katie's annoying.

* * *

"Campers," Chris said, looking serious, while holding up a plate of marshmallows, "I have six marshmallows on this plate. There are seven of you. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must leave immediately, and you can never come back! **Ever!**"

"I remember what never coming back ever was like," Eva said, smirking.

"I also tend to recall you being swiftly punished for that sin," Chris said, smirking. "Anyway, if I may:"

"Sadie."

"Eva."

"Bridgette."

"Noah."

"Katie."

Gwen looked worried sick, while Justin looked confident. "Justin. Gwen. This is the final marshmallow. And once again, there was a tie. You two have made a lot of enemies, apparently." Chris smirked. "Justin, why did you vote for Gwen, anyway?"

"I dunno'." Justin said, rubbing his chin. "Cheating on her boyfriend with Duncan… doesn't seem right to me."

"Gwen didn't do that!" Katie shouted, getting up in Justin's face. "What kind of idiots do you take us for?!"

"But Katie, she did do it," Sadie said, looking worried. "Justin wouldn't lie. He's too beautiful to lie!"

"That's how he gets away with it!" Katie shouted. "He's so beautiful that he gets away with it!"

"Like me!" Chris cheered, pointing to himself.

"Not really. You're just an old geezer," Katie said, smirking.

"Hey!" Chris shouted, annoyed. "I'm twenty-six!"

"Like the I said, old geezer," Katie said. Gwen giggled. "Gwen, seriously, if you don't get to stay, that's just wrong."

"May I continue, please?" Chris asked, annoyed. "Thank you. Now, for the final marshmallow: the tie was broken by Owen, so if you don't like it--"

"Owen?" Katie asked, looking irritated, then looked to Gwen sympathetically. "You just got screwed, Gwen." Bridgette was looking nervous as well.

"Anyway, the final marshmallow goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Justin."

Justin walked over to collect his marshmallow, making sure to show off eating it to Gwen, who just looked down in despair. Katie hugged Gwen tight, as Bridgette walked over to join in.

"I'm sorry Gwen," Katie said, irritated. "Everyone's just a big jerk."

"I'm sorry too," Bridgette said, crying. "It would've been nice if you could've won this year."

"I guess Owen was distracted by the sexy," Gwen said, chuckling. "He gets distracted easily. And maybe I should've actually participated in the challenge."

"Not like we did, either," Katie said, smiling a bit.

"Katie's right," Chris said, smirking. "If you'd like to leave in place of Gwen, we'll allow it. Heck, I'll even throw in a hundred bucks!"

"You don't have to do that," Gwen said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Seriously, Gwen, I wanted to help you out there! Not only are you way more popular with our audience, but Katie doesn't even make for a popular villain, so no exciting TV from her, either. I would've loved to have seen a Gwen versus Justin finale, myself. Ratings would've been so huge!

* * *

"Gwen," Bridgette said, nervous. "Leshawna spread your diary around."

"I knew it!" Katie exclaimed. "How did you find out though?"

"Leshawna told me herself," Bridgette said, looking down. "I was really hoping she'd have told you by now. I'm sorry Gwen."

Gwen looked irritated. "Why are you two doing this?"

"I thought it was important that you knew," Bridgette said.

"So you decided to lie to me about Leshawna?" Gwen asked, angry. "You know, Bridgette, I'm really disappointed in you. Hearing Courtney ranting about it is one thing, but to have you go against her like that… I really thought better of you." Gwen looked disgusted. "Should've known you'd turn traitor on me again." Gwen walked onto the Boat of Losers angrily, not looking back to see Katie waving her on, looking sad, and Bridgette waving as well, crying.

"And thus concludes another thrilling episode!" Chris exclaimed, butting in between Katie and Bridgette. "Another friendship, tragically dissolved. Will Bridgette be so depressed that she commits suicide?"

"No," Bridgette said, pushing away from Chris. "That's not even funny."

"I'm laughing, ha ha!" Chris joked. "Will Trent want to kill Bridgette for voting his girl off?"

"I didn't vote for Gwen. I voted for Justin," Bridgette said, annoyed.

"Yeah," Chris said, irritated. "Like any girl could possibly vote for Justin. Anyway, find out the answers to these questions and more, next time on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

"I hope you and Sadie can make up," Bridgette said, smiling, as she and Katie were walking to the confessional.

"It's OK," Katie said, shrugging. "It's been happening more ever since we were here last year. I really think it's strengthened our friendship." Katie started to smile.

"That's good," Bridgette said, as she tried to open the confessional door, but it was locked, so Bridgette knocked. "Who's in there?"

Lindsay stuck her head out of the door, smiling brightly. "I'm sorry, Bridgette. I'm making up for lost time in here. But don't worry: I remembered not to pee in here this time!" Lindsay smiled as she went back in and closed the door.

"Wasn't she in there before we went to the ceremony?" Katie asked, confused.

"Let's leave her alone," Bridgette said, smiling. "She's had a rough day. Let's let her get it out."

"Wait," Katie said, looking disgusted. "She peed in there last year? I'm not sure I want to go back in there."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Apparently, I was wrong.  
Bridgette: Come on! This place was disgusting the first day we got here last year.  
Katie: I'm also sitting on your lap, though.  
Bridgette: Thank you for making me sit on the disgusting seat. (Katie smiles innocently.)

* * *

Heather and Izzy were waiting on the dock at the Playa' des Losers as Gwen's boat arrived. Unhappy as Gwen may have been on the ride, she was even less happy to see Heather waiting to inevitably rub it in her face.

"I'm sorry, Gwen," Heather said, looking sad, as she extended her hand. Gwen angrily spat on her hand; Heather looked creeped out.

"Was that really necessary?" Izzy asked, going from sad upset in that second.

"She deserved it," Gwen said, irritated. "So glad she came out to mock me."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Heather felt bad that you were voted off, and wanted to bury the hatchet. I suggested we all bury the Hatchet together, but she wouldn't go for that one."

"Yeah," Gwen sarcastically said. "Heather doesn't do nice."

"OK, then," Izzy said, smiling. "Would you at least watch this tape for me? Pretty please?" Izzy batted her eyelids, holding a tape in her hand.

"If it'll get you off my back, then fine," Gwen grumbled. "It's not going to do any good, but if you'll leave me alone, then fine."

"It's settled then!" Izzy exclaimed. "I'll make the popcorn! This is going to be the movie of the year. It's a whodunit, and I know there've been spoilers floating around, so just to prepare you: they're true."

"Heather, you really are a master manipulator, I'll give you credit for that," Gwen said, irritated. "Gotten Izzy fully convinced. I'll enjoy seeing this so-called 'proof' she has." Gwen said, finger-quoting.

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Justin  
Eva: Katie  
Gwen: Justin  
Justin: Gwen  
Katie: Justin  
Noah: Gwen  
Sadie: Gwen  
Tiebreaker (Owen): Gwen

Gwen: 3 (4)  
Justin: 3  
Katie: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Heather, Gwen

Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Eva, Justin, Katie, Noah, Sadie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Tyler, Trent

* * *

And the Killer Chris' winning streak has come to a halt, as another Killer Chris member has walked the plank: this time, the lovable Gwen. Except for the people who hate Gwen, anyway.

And thus concludes what was inevitably the suckiest challenge ever. Admittedly, I had other concerns with Day 7, and the challenge was just kinda' there. Next one ought to be more worthy, anyway.


	16. Day 8, Part 1: Rain on Your Wedding Day

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 16: Day 8: Part 1: It's Like Rain on Your Wedding Day**

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, with a big grin on his face as he began making loud gestures. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris_, nothing much of interest happened. Izzy found proof that Heather posted Gwen's diary around the camp, and later she got voted off. The end."

"Not quite how it happened," Izzy said, smiling, as she peeked up from underneath the dock.

"When we edit the show down, that's what it'll look like OK?" Chris said, annoyed.

"We'll see," Izzy said, smirking, as she hid back beneath the dock.

"That was unnecessary," Chris said, irritated, before putting on another smile. "But what will happen today? The Killer Chrises are sucking once more, to no one's surprise, and to my annoyance, but can they bounce right back today? Stay tuned for this and more, as well as our most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, coming up now on _Total Drama Chris!"_

"No one's buying it!" Izzy shouted from underneath the dock. Chris, annoyed, stomped his foot down hard, and a splash was heard. Chris chuckled to himself.

* * *

The seven losers at the Playa' des Losers were watching Izzy's tape in the main lounge, with Gwen sitting in the middle of the sofa, with Heather right beside her, looking down. The other campers were watching in disbelief, but Gwen herself had pretty much gone comatose. After the tape finished, Izzy walked up to Gwen, looking concerned.

"Gwen?" Izzy asked. "Are you OK?" Gwen didn't answer, though, and just continued looking blankly ahead.

"Gwen?" Heather asked, concerned.

"**Don't talk to me, you little piece of sh--**"

"Whoa, Gwen, whoa," Izzy said, looking worried. "You needed to know the truth." Gwen just continued looking blankly ahead. Izzy was confused, and wasn't sure what to do next, so she glomped Gwen. Gwen didn't seem to react, but when Izzy let go, Gwen had a small smile, at least.

"I need to be alone," Gwen spoke softly, as she picked herself up and started walking to her room.

Heather looked nervous, but finally spoke up. "I'm sor--"

"**YOU!**" Gwen turned around and screamed, lunging toward Heather, but was stopped by Izzy getting between the two, with Heather cowering down on the other side.

"I think we'd best leave Gwen alone now," Izzy said, worried, staying between the two girls until Gwen calmed down, and started going back to her room.

Heather spoke up after Gwen was completely gone from the area, crying. "She still hates me."

"Yeah," Izzy said, scratching her head. "I thought you two could kiss and make up after she found out Leshawna was the enemy."

"Just hates us both now," Heather said, sitting curled on the floor.

"Of course she hates you!" Beth shouted, after holding it in for this long. "What? Leshawna being mean somehow made you nice? No! Just because Leshawna spread the diary around doesn't mean you're suddenly nice. It just means you're both mean girls!"

"Heather's really different, though," Geoff said. "And she's hot, so you can't stay mad!"

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Geoff, darling, you need to stop calling her hot. I mean, it's true, and I'd totally do her if I turned lesbian one day, but you're going to give Bridgette a complex."

"Oh. Yeah," Geoff said, looking down.

"Why is Beth still mad, anyway?" Duncan said, not sounding overly concerned. "How did Miss Gullible not buy into Heather's meltdown?"

"I'm not gullible," Beth insisted.

"Actually, you kinda' are," Izzy said nonchalantly.

"I'm not falling for it this time," Beth said, crossing her arms, looking upset. "You fooled me last year, Justin fooled me this year… I'm not getting tricked anymore!"

"Beth wasn't there," Heather said quietly. "She ran off before I came out." Heather looked down, and started crying again. "I also hurt her more than I hurt you guys. I mean, not counting Gwen."

"We've still got the footage from that show," Izzy said, smiling. "Maybe if I showed it to Gwen and Beth, their hearts will melt and fall in love with you, and you can make cute little Asian goth babies with glasses!" Izzy was bouncing up and down.

"But I don't want to go out with a girl!" Beth said, worried. "But then, after **him**, maybe I'm not ready for guys, either."

"Oh, I dunno'," Izzy said, grinning.

* * *

Harold was out on the dock of shame, practicing what looked like karate, as Leshawna walked up to him.

"Hey, string bean!" Leshawna exclaimed. "Practicing your mad skills?"

"Yes," Harold said, completely serious, as he continued practicing. "You never know when such skills may come in handy." Harold then stopped, and looked to Leshawna. "I know you want me back, but I've moved on. I know you're devastated that you can no longer be with The Harold, but it's for the best for both of us to move on."

Leshawna blinked. "Look, that's OK. I just needed a friend. Gwen's gone, and everyone else has been turning against me."

Harold looked upset. "I've heard what Courtney's been saying about you. If you want, I could defeat her for you, my lovely."

Leshawna blushed. "It's OK, really."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: For one, Harold can't take on Courtney. Mad skills is gonna' lose to mad Hulk powers every time. And two, I was kinda' hopin' to avoid Courtney for a while, lay low and stuff. She's as scary as Eva when that girl gets angry.

* * *

"Courtney wields a lot of power here," Harold said. "She did last year too. That's one reason I took her down."

"But it was mostly revenge on Duncan, am I right?" Leshawna said, smirking.

"Yes," Harold stated. "That was the bigger reason, I will admit. I'm guessing Courtney is slandering you because she supported Heather, and you definitely let everyone here know your opinion on her. I know you two don't get along, but there's room enough to love both of you." Harold said, smiling, then turned serious. "I mean, not love both of you in that way, I'm sorry to disappoint."

"It's OK," Leshawna said, shrugging it off. "Just watch out, Harold, 'cause she is gonna' hurt you."

"I'm used to it," Harold said. "I think this time will be different, but it wouldn't be the first time if it did happen."

Leshawna looked down. "I didn't mean to hurt you too much when I--"

"Not you," Harold said. "Believe it or not, I'm actually not the most popular guy at my school."

"I think I can believe it," Leshawna said, smirking.

"I had a mad crush on this girl named Autumn," Harold said. "She was this beautiful girl with big boobies and long luscious blonde hair, and everyone loved her. She wasn't too smart, but she was always so kind to everyone. Not like you saw in the movies." Harold then started to cry. "I asked her out in front of the entire school, and she said yes… she also called me Henry, for some reason." Harold held his hands to his face. "I thought the date was going well, but she excused herself to go early, telling me she got a call that her mother was dying. Which was a lie. The next day at school, she had the whole school wailing on me, just because of one little bad date! It went on for a few weeks, dying down way too slowly. I mean, I'm used to bullies and have come to accept it as part of my everyday life, but this was way more than usual." Harold bit his lip, angry. "All because of some bimbo blonde who thought I wasn't good enough for her!" Harold started sobbing, and Leshawna gently hugged him.

"Look, baby, I'm sorry," Leshawna said, looking sad. "People can be so cruel sometimes."

"Like Courtney," Harold said, clenching his fists. "And Lindsay. Really, they need to leave you alone! I mean, sure you broke my heart, but I got over it!"

"I'm still worried about who got you over it," Leshawna said. "You know what the monster is--"

"Could you please not call her a monster?" Harold said. "I'm pretty sure Heather is innocent."

"She might be," Leshawna said, nervous. "Still, even if she didn't do the diary deed, she would've hurt Gwen some other way. That's just how she is. She picks on people for no good reason."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: As opposed to me. (Leshawna looks down.) Picking on people for a very good reason… good reason or not, though, I really hurt Gwen. I'm sorry, Gwen!

* * *

"Harold?" Leshawna asked, nervous.

"Yes?" Harold replied.

"Do you promise not to turn against me like everyone else has?" Leshawna looked sweetly into Harold's eyes. "I really need a friend for support."

Harold saluted. "You can count on me! It'd be great if you and Heather could get along, but until then, I hope she can accept us as friends."

"Thank you," Leshawna said, wiping a tear from her eye.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: (tearing up a little) No! Stay strong! You don't cry, girl! (Leshawna pauses, then composes herself.) Look, I'll admit that I'm a bit jealous of Heather. I mean, I'll admit that he could only go downhill from bein' with me, but still… Heather… I do wish he could've found someone a little better than her. He's a sweet guy, and he deserves better. (Leshawna looks down.) Like me. Stupid pride. Why'd you dump him?

Harold: I know Leshawna's devastated that I'm with Heather now. I can't really blame her. Any girl would be, though it's probably extra painful since she hates Heather. I really think they could be friends. I think they have more in common than either one would like to admit.

* * *

"Hey," Trent said, walking over to Leshawna and Harold. "Have either of you seen Gwen today? I've really been missing her."

"I'm sorry," Leshawna said, looking down, putting a hand on Trent's shoulder. "She was voted off."

"What?" Trent asked, confused. "But how? Why? Everyone loves Gwen!"

"I'll be that stupid rumor had something' to do with it," Leshawna said, angry.

"What rumor?" Trent asked, nervous.

"The one about Duncan and Gwen going behind yours and Courtney's backs," Leshawna said, irritated.

"What?!" Trent panicked. "Gwen? Duncan? No!"

"It was a lie," Leshawna said. "Justin started the stupid rumor to keep himself safe."

"How could she?" Trent said. "How could… Duncan!" Trent looked furious with the thought of Duncan in his mind. "He knew she was taken! How could he… how could she do this to me."

"Get a hold of yourself!" Leshawna shouted, grabbing Trent. "It was a lie! Justin lied! Gwen ain't cheatin' on you!"

"How could--" Trent started, then collapsed to the dock, sobbing.

"I'm really sorry," Leshawna said, patting Trent's back. "I know her getting voted off was really wrong, but I promise, Gwen's been faithful to you." Leshawna looked nervous for a moment. "And Izzy seems to come back and forth here. I'll bet she could help."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: OK, I know Izzy's been ruinin' my life with this back-and-forth business, but she doesn't have anything against Trent… does she? I know you're watching these… don't do it for me. Do it for Trent. Deal?

* * *

"This is really sad," Harold said, shaking his head, watching Trent sobbing on the dock.

"Gwen!" Trent shouted to the sky, reaching up. "Gwen!"

"Trent, really," Leshawna said, picking him up. "Gwen's gonna' be just fine, and you'll see her before you know it! She might even get to come back to the island! Gotta' be optimistic!"

"But Chris said no one's coming back! Ever!"

"He lied about it last year, and he's lying again this year," Leshawna said, smiling. "Chris lies. That's what he does." Leshawna held Trent's hands. "Think about when you were voted off last season."

"I hated that!" Trent said, looking disgusted. "Wasn't that kinda' your fault, too?"

"Yeah," Leshawna said, looking nervous. "Not my best moment. I made a big mistake, thinking you were cheating with Heather," Leshawna looked ashamed. "I'm not going to jump to any more conclusions. Gonna' get my facts straight before I start accusing them of things they didn't do yet!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: My maid back at home makes the most delicious chocolate shakes! She makes the ice cream by hand, and adds a lot of vitamins, and it's the most delicious thing ever. It's low fat, low carbs, but also really rich and irony.

* * *

"Look, Trent," Leshawna said, smiling. "Think about how strong Gwen was after you were voted off. You need to do the same for her now!"

"But without Gwen, what's the purpose?"

"A million dollars," Harold stated flatly.

"Yeah," Leshawna agreed. "Think of all the stuff you could buy for Gwen if you won the mil!"

Trent looked up. "Gwen would be hurt if I tried to enjoy myself without her."

Leshawna rolled her eyes. "Were you hurt last year when Gwen continued to give it her all, and stuck it out to the end?"

"Well, no."

"She ain't gonna' be, either! She's gonna' want you to get as far as you can!"

Trent looked unsure of what to say, before finally muttering a small "thanks."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: Leshawna's right. Gwen would want me to win, so I'm going to try to do it! (Trent pauses for a few seconds.) Right after I cry a little more. (Trent starts sobbing again.)

* * *

"Which one was Roger, and which one was Ralph?" Katie asked, sitting next to Noah and Cody by the cabins. "I have trouble with their names. Did they have to have such similar names?"

"Ralph was the generally rational leader," Noah answered. "Roger was the generally antisocial sociopath."

"Does every teenager get assigned to read that book?" Cody asked. "I mean, it's an all right book, but aren't there like thousands of books the teachers could choose from? Why that one?"

"It's boring," Katie said. "It needed girls."

"That would've ruined the story," Noah said. "A girl would have completely changed the dynamics on the island."

"But then Ralph could've fallen in love, and it would've been so sweet," Katie said, smiling brightly.

"That would've ruined the story," Noah stated flatly.

Katie scoffed. "You know what would've been a better book for the schools to force us to read? _Twilight."_

"I probably could've guessed you'd answer that," Cody said.

"_Twilight. _The bane of my existence," Noah said. "Or one of them. Students need to read a **real **book."

"But it is a real book!" Katie insisted. "It's about this pretty girl, who falls in love with the only person on the planet even hotter than Justin, except he's a lot nicer than Justin--"

"Everyone's nicer than Justin," Cody said, irritated.

"Anyway," Katie continued, not missing a beat, "Edward is a vampire, and he loves Bella, and Bella loves him, and they live happily ever after, eventually! Eeeiii!" Noah and Cody covered their ears. "Oops… I'm sorry." Katie looked guilty.

"You've been doing it less, at least," Cody said, smiling.

Noah rolled his eyes. "A book that glamorizes the trials and tribulations of a woman who falls in love with her creepy stalker, completely ignoring the negative aspects of such behavior." Noah started to fake enthusiasm. "Sounds like golly gee good reading material to me!"

"I'm kind of glad we weren't forced to read that one," Cody said.

Katie stuck out her tongue. "You two just don't know a good book when you see one."

"Reading is reading, I guess," Cody said, shrugging. He spoke up again after a few seconds of silence. "Where's Sadie, anyway?"

"Oh, her," Katie said, looking uncaring. "She's still mad because I'm supporting Lindsay and Gwen, and she hates Lindsay and Gwen. She totally sucks for voting for Gwen last night, and everyone else who voted for Gwen also sucks!"

Noah looked nervous, and quickly picked up his large book and hid behind it.

Katie noticed. "Um, Noah, what was that?"

"Calculus, ooh, fun!" Noah said, faking enthusiasm.

"Wait a minute," Katie said, irritated. "You voted for Gwen, didn't you?" Noah didn't answer, so Katie swiped the book and tossed it to the ground, as she grew angry. "Answer me!"

"I did, OK?" Noah said, irritated. Cody just sat there, looking uncomfortable. "Justin said--"

"Who cares what Justin said?!" Katie shouted. "Justin can die in a fire for all I care!" Katie thought about it for a second. "As long as I can take his picture first."

"Justin said that no one liked me, and that everyone was against me, and that I needed to vote for Gwen for protection against getting voted off."

Katie slapped her face. "For such a smart guy, you're an idiot."

"Everyone voted me off for seemingly no reason last year!" Noah shouted.

"Your lousy attitude," Cody said. "We lost the dodge ball challenge, you didn't participate at all, and then you insulted us for losing."

"Well, we did lose," Noah said. "Since I wasn't playing, it clearly couldn't have been my fault we lost."

"It was your attitude," Cody said. "Sure, we lost, but it was just making everyone hate you."

"You can be a little grumpy sometimes," Katie said shyly.

"That's who I am," Noah answered nonchalantly. "It's my weapon against the world."

Katie shook her head. "That's sad that you can't smile and enjoy life."

"Life ain't all sunshine and bunnies," Noah said. "Bad stuff happens. Like Gwen's diary. She didn't deserve having her private life thrown around like that, but it's her fault for having unprotected sex in the first place. Everyone knows what can happen when you have sex."

"That's why I'm waiting," Cody said, smiling uneasy.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: Well, that, and because I'm not quite as popular with the ladies as I'd like to be.

* * *

"Gwen made a mistake," Katie said, irritated. "Does that mean she deserved for her life to be ruined?"

"That's life, honey," Noah coldly stated.

"Bad stuff happens," Katie said. "You can still try to look at the good things that happen, though. All the beautiful things all around us! Like Gwen! Sure, she's kinda' grumpy, just like you, but she's allowed herself to be more open, and to enjoy life more, and she's become such a strong and beautiful woman!" Katie smacked Noah's head. "And you had to vote her off!"

"Look, I'm sorry, OK?" Noah complained, rubbing the back of his head. "Not like you told me to vote Justin off, exactly."

"Why **wouldn't **you vote him off if you could?" Cody asked, annoyed.

"OK, I should have told you," Katie said. "Just ask me next time, OK? I don't bite. And vote Justin off." Katie then looked longingly at Noah's arm and bit into it.

"Ow!" Noah yelled, pulling away.

"OK, I do bite," Katie said, smiling innocently. "It's all in good fun, though!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I'm sorry Gwen. I mean, I didn't vote for you last night, but I did vote for you before, just because I was being stupid and immature. (Katie starts to cry a little.) I've hurt a lot of people because of that.

* * *

Katie looked to Cody. "I know he hurt you too. Beth."

"You knew?" Cody asked, looking up.

"She's a sweet girl, and you're a sweet guy," Katie said, smiling. "She was fooled by his hotness… I was too. But he's a do--"

"Yeah," Cody said, looking down. "Hard to compete with the hottest guy here. I struck out with Gwen, then I struck out with Beth. I'm used to it."

"But at least Trent's a nice guy," Katie said. "So even though you didn't win Gwen, you can at least feel good that she's with someone good. Justin though," Katie said, wincing, "Beth deserves someone better than him. I think you can be the guy."

"That game's impossible," Noah said, rubbing his forehead with his hands. "Seriously, you can't win."

"I knew a guy who knew a guy who beat it," Cody said, smirking.

Noah scoffed. "I'm so sure."

"What are you two even talking about?" Katie asked, confused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I know I'm smart, so why do all of these references keep going over my head?

* * *

Bridgette was sitting on the beach, sad, with Courtney standing beside her, trying to cheer her up.

"Gwen's going to be all right," Courtney said. "You know she's strong."

"She didn't deserve to go, though," Bridgette said, tearing up. "She left on bad terms."

"What was wrong?" Courtney asked sincerely.

"I told Gwen about Leshawna, and she called me a liar."

"Urgh! I can't believe that girl!"

"I can," Bridgette said. "She doesn't want to believe that her best friend turned on her." Bridgette looked down. "What I did last year was relatively minor, and you know how hard she took that."

"She's probably making out with Duncan right now, behind my back," Courtney grumbled.

"What?" Bridgette asked, blinking.

Courtney sighed. "I know. Gwen wouldn't do that to me." Courtney looked down. "I'm scared. Gwen has so much more in common with Duncan than I, and Duncan likes her. I know Gwen isn't going to hurt me like that, but I just can't help feeling scared."

Bridgette stood up to hug Courtney. "It'll be OK. You've got to trust Gwen. And Duncan too."

"But he definitely wants Gwen!" Courtney said, nervous.

"That's not Gwen's fault, though," Bridgette said. "You're logical-minded enough to know it's not Gwen's fault. I'm sure she's going to tell him off if he tries anything."

"Thank you," Courtney said softly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: A part of me is worried that Gwen and Duncan are going to hook up behind my back, like I'm scared she's desperately trying to do. But another part of me knows that Gwen wouldn't do that to me. (Courtney sighs.) Sometimes I think life would be easier if I were less intelligent.

* * *

"Hi Bridgette," Ezekiel said, walking up to her and Courtney.

"Hello, sexist twerp," Courtney said, upset. Ezekiel hid his head in his tuque.

"You really should give me another chance, Courtney," Bridgette said. "He's a sweet guy."

"He doesn't deserve it!" Courtney shouted. "Don't you remember what he said last year?!"

"You forgave Heather, and she did a whole lot more!"

"Not to me!" Courtney spat, then looked embarrassed, and fell to her knees.

"Is she all right?" Ezekiel asked.

"Yes," Bridgette said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Yes, I'm a narcissist. Happy? I'm trying to overcome that.

* * *

"I'm sorry Ezekiel," Courtney said, standing back up and extending her right hand.

Ezekiel took her hand and shook. "Whoot are you soory for, eh? I was the one who said thoose things about girls."

"Yes you did, and that was horrible," Courtney said. "But it was also only once, and you haven't said anything like that since, and I've been so angry. And I trust Bridgette: if she says you've changed, and I know she's got a good head on her shoulders, then it's time I finally listened to her."

"Thanks!" Ezekiel exclaimed, hugging Courtney, freaking her out.

"Please don't do that," Courtney said, pushing him off.

"Don't take that too hard," Bridgette said to Ezekiel, smiling. "She didn't want me hugging her at first, either."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: Bridgette's really sweet. She even tamed Courtney somehow. I wish she doon't have a boyfriend already, though.

* * *

Bridgette and Ezekiel had started walking along the beach. "So," Bridgette started, "do you like anyone here?" Ezekiel blushed, and hid his head under his tuque. Bridgette lifted it. "OK, OK. I know you like me. Anyone besides me, though."

Ezekiel thought for a moment. "Izzy's really nice, eh. It's too bad she was vooted off."

Bridgette smiled, giggling for a moment. "She'll be back."

Ezekiel scratched his hat. "You really think soo?"

"Oh, yes," Bridgette said, smirking.

"Boot she has a boyfriend, though," Ezekiel said. "A big, scary boyfriend."

"Owen? Scary?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow. "Big, yes, but he's not that tough."

"Moore than I am, eh?" Ezekiel said, looking down. "I'm all scroowny and stoof."

"Izzy will return, I can promise you," Bridgette said, smiling. "I can relay the message if I see her before you do."

"Thanks," Ezekiel said, blushing, though not reaching for his tuque this time. "I'm really soory about what I said about girls, eh."

"It's OK," Bridgette said. "I forgave you already."

"I knoo, but I still felt bad aboot it." Ezekiel looked down. "I really thooght that guys were supposed to take care of girls like that. That's whoot I've always been taught."

"I'm sorry we voted you off before giving you a chance to redeem yourself," Bridgette said, looking down. "But then, I guess we'd have voted off Courtney instead, and we wouldn't have become friends. I didn't really like her much at first, either. She just complained and bragged a lot. I guess it was a lose-lose situation. Either way, a great friend was going to leave that night before I got a chance to know the person."

"It's OK," Ezekiel said, smiling. "I learned my lesson from it."

"That's all we can ask for," Bridgette said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: Bridgette's so nice, but she's taken. Izzy too. All the nice girls are taken, eh.

* * *

"Courtney?" Leshawna asked, approaching her on the beach. "Look, about yesterday--"

"Save it," Courtney said, angry.

Leshawna looked down. "I'm sorry about that. I crossed the line there."

"No kidding," Courtney stated flatly. "What was your first clue? The injuries you gave to me and Lindsay?"

"I didn't touch Lindsay now!" Leshawna shouted.

"I saw her leg!" Courtney shot back. "Did you think I wouldn't notice?!"

"Look, I swear I didn't hurt Lindsay," Leshawna said, exasperated.

"And you're all of a sudden telling the truth because…"

"Because I've been caught," Leshawna said, angry. "And I feel bad about it. I only meant to hurt Heather, and I also wound up hurting you, Gwen, and too many other people." Leshawna looked miserable. "Please, let me make it up to you." Courtney looked unmoved. "Is there anything I could do?"

"Let Heather take your place here."

"I don't think we're allowed to do that," Leshawna said, irritated, "and besides, getting rid of Heather was the whole reason I started this mess in the first place!"

"OK, you're probably right that Chris won't let you do that," Courtney said. "Still, that's a pitiful reason. Hurting everyone for petty revenge?!"

"Not revenge!" Leshawna shouted. "I did it for Gwen."

"Of course," Courtney stated flatly. "Embarrass her in front of the entire world. Great way to protect the poor girl."

"Look! All I had to do was get rid of Heather! No one used to like her. It should've been easy to get rid of her! As soon as we lost the first contest, everyone would've just voted for Heather. But you had to mess things up!"

"By befriending her," Courtney stated flatly again. "Yes. I should be ashamed of myself for committing such an atrocity."

"You opened the gate! Everyone else started getting suckered by that witch too, and I needed to pull the plug before she took over the game again, and before she hurt Gwen!" Leshawna looked down. "Look, my beef was with Heather, and it was wrong that I got you guys involved, but Heather deserved it!" Courtney shook her head, looking disgusted.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Come on! I know I did some things that were wrong! What does Courtney want me to do, exactly? Is there anything I could do to make up for it?

Lindsay: My maid does great with my laundry too. Always makes my dresses so beautiful and washy and irony.

* * *

"Sadie? Are you OK?" Leshawna asked, seeing the bigger BFFFL sitting by herself, looking miserable.

"No," Sadie said, upset. "Katie thinks you're this evil monster, but I tried to tell her you're like the nicest person here, and that Lindsay was really mean to Tyler and Beth, and--"

"I made a mistake," Leshawna said, trying to smile. "I was wrong about that. Lindsay thought Justin was Tyler." Sadie looked dumbfounded. "Look, Justin's a jerk. He's got a bodacious bod, I'll admit, but he's still a big jerk. Katie was right."

Sadie looked sad. "Katie's always right. How come I never get to be right?"

"Weren't you the smart one?" Leshawna asked, scratching her head.

"The official site mixed our bios up," Sadie said, shrugging. "Not sure how they made such a mistake."

"Couldn't imagine," Leshawna said, rolling her eyes. "You really should make up with Katie, though. I know she misses you."

Sadie rushed up to give Leshawna a tight hug. "Thank you! You really are nice, even if you aren't as perfect as I thought you were!"

"You're welcome," Leshawna said, looking guilty.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: (looking guilty) So innocent. I'm going to really feel bad disillusioning Sadie like that.

* * *

"Draw what you see?" Noah asked Katie, who was smiling. "Doesn't sound very imaginative. Why was this teacher a good influence for Sam, again?"

"Why did Mr. Uptown Girl try to kill the President, again?," Cody asked, confused.

Katie sighed. "I thought you guys were supposed to be smart."

"Katie," Sadie said, stepping in front of her, then bowed down to give Katie a tight hug. "I'm sooo sorry!"

"I'm sorry too."

"Wait," Sadie asked, confused, "what are you sorry for?"

"For being immature and pouty," Katie said, crying. "I really need to stop doing that."

"Well, I do that too, kinda'," Sadie said, looking down. "And you were right about Lindsay. I was wrong."

"So you're not mad at Lindsay anymore?" Katie said, smiling. "What about Gwen?"

Sadie looked confused, then smiled. "I don't even remember why I was mad at her. Leshawna said Lindsay was innocent, though."

"Wait," Katie said, looking disgusted. "Leshawna?"

"Yeah," Sadie said, smiling. "Leshawna said she made a mistake, and apologized for it."

"Something's not right here," Katie said, looking deep in thought.

"Whatever happened to Little Miss Optimistic?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.

Katie rolled her eyes. "Serious problem here, hello! Leshawna is the enemy!"

"No she isn't!" Sadie insisted. "She apologized about Lindsay!"

"And what about Courtney?" Katie asked, nonpulsed. "She hurt Courtney too. And what about Gwen? What about Heather?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

(Katie's face is deep red.)  
Sadie: (smirking) What about Heather?  
Katie: I did not say that.  
Sadie: Yes you did.  
Katie: She is pure evil! I do not care about her!  
Sadie: But you said "what about Heather."  
Katie: (pauses for several seconds) Well, she did not do anything **yet**, but she totally would have.  
Sadie: Maybe not.  
Katie: Yes, she would have.

* * *

"Leshawna's really nice though," Cody said, confused. "Isn't she?"

"She was never nice," Noah stated flatly.

"Look, dude, you didn't participate in the challenge. That's why she was mad at you."

"I shouldn't have **had **to participate!" Noah shouted. "We'd have lost regardless."

"She's not very nice, anyway," Katie said coldly.

"She's like the nicest person here!" Sadie exclaimed, looking worried.

Katie smiled. "I think we'd better drop this if we don't want another fight."

"Ooh, good idea," Sadie said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: Katie is, like, totally the smart one.  
Katie: I know! And you're totally the nice one.  
Sadie: I know!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

* * *

"Campers," Chris announced in front of the cabins, before the contestants. "It's challenge time! Do you all remember last year's Phobia Factor?"

"I try not to," Courtney said dryly. "Bad memories."

"Well then, Courtney, you're going to love today's challenge! Fear Multiple!"

Noah smirked. "And if you combine Phobia Factor with Fear Multiple, you get--"

"Shush!" Chris shouted, angry. "I don't want to have to pay the licensing fees!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: And apparently I'm too late. Eva already said the double-F word. Great! There goes my seventh daily massage! I worked hard to budget seven each day, too.

Noah: Factor? Multiple? The lamest math joke ever, and they're all pretty lame.

* * *

"Courtney," Chris said, smirking. "You were the last to go last year, so I think you should be the first to go this year." Chris pointed to a tall ladder with a diving board, with a large vat of green Jell-O beneath.

Courtney gulped, but tried to look confident. "You can do this," Bridgette said, smiling, patting her shoulder.

"Who's team are you on again?" Noah asked, irritated.

"Oops… sorry," Bridgette said shyly. "I guess I'm supposed to try to psych you out?"

"Am I on your team?" Lindsay asked, with a finger on her chin.

"Yes, you are," Courtney said, trying not to get irritated by the question.

"Yay!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Then I can tell you that you can conquer this thing! Now climb up there and show that Jell-O who's boss!"

"Thanks," Courtney said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: OK, that was a strange pep talk, but it helped get me pumped up, anyway.

* * *

Courtney climbed to the top of the ladder, and looked nervously over the board. "Just one thing," Chris said, smirking. "That's not the challenge this year."

"Wait," Courtney said. "What is the challenge then?"

"Oh, you'll see," Chris said, smirking, then cackling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: OK, I would love to know how Chris actually expected someone to survive this sick and twisted… well, twist.

* * *

Chris, Courtney, and the others were waiting at the top of the thousand foot cliff, with Courtney looking over the cliff, terrified. "Courtney, if you look down, you can see a large concrete slab, covered in a thin layer of green jelly. You will earn a point for your team if you jump onto the slab. Fortunately, you'll earn the point regardless of whether or not you survive, so if you die, it won't be for naught."

"How is it even possible to survive this?!" Courtney shouted, looking angry at Chris. "What's this even have to do with a fear of green jelly? This is a fear of dying here!"

"It's survivable," Trent said, scared. "Believe me, I would know."

"It's OK," Leshawna said, walking over to Courtney. "There's no way any of us could get mad at you for refusing to do it." Leshawna glared at Chris. "You think this is funny?! This is impossible!"

"It's not impossible!" Chris whined. "I said she still got the point if she died, after all."

"Look," Leshawna said, smiling, "if we lose because of this, I'll make sure no one blames you, OK?"

"Thanks," Courtney said, disgusted. Lindsay glared at Leshawna.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Urgh! I really hate how she's trying to suck up to me now. I mean, it was nice of her to stick up for me, but still! I don't forgive that easily! You did a **lot **of things you really need to be held accountable for.

Lindsay: Don't fall for her Jedi mind tricks, Courtney!

* * *

Courtney looked down once more, scared. "Yeah, I'm not jumping."

"Fine," Chris said. "Guess you've let your team down. **Again**. What kind of a lame person is afraid of green jelly, anyway?"

"Look," Courtney said, irritated. "I really think I could've jumped into that pool of green jelly this year, but this?! This has nothing to do with being afraid of green jelly. This has to do with being afraid of death!"

"You want to make something of it?" Leshawna shouted, raising a fist to Chris. Lindsay continued glaring at Leshawna.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Why does everyone keep calling it jelly, anyway? Isn't that the stuff you put on a peanut butter sandwich? Isn't it actually lime Jell-O? (Lindsay thinks it over for several seconds, then looks embarrassed.) I've been making the sandwich the wrong way all these years, haven't I?

* * *

Chris was standing on the amphitheatre, still standing from last season, along with Geoff. The other contestants were sitting in the bleachers. "Ezekiel, my man, come on up." Ezekiel gulped as he stepped onto the stage. "Bridgette, I want you to come up, too." Bridgette looked nervous, but made her way up on stage anyway. "Ezekiel, I'm sure you'd love feeling this fine dumb blonde up, eh?"

"You're making fun of my accent, aren't you?" Ezekiel asked, nervous.

"Yes," Chris stated matter-of-factly. "Like to see you do something about it. But to earn a point for the Screaming Pansies, you have to feel up Bridgette."

"What?!" Bridgette shrieked. "No way!"

"If you back out, their team automatically get the point," Chris said, smirking.

"You can do it, babe!" Geoff exclaimed, then turned around. "I just don't want to watch, 'K?"

"Geoff, turn around," Chris ordered, physically turning Geoff to watch Bridgette and Ezekiel. "The entire reason I brought you over from the Playa' des Losers is to watch Ezekiel feel your girl up."

"Geoff, are you sure you're OK with this?" Bridgette asked, looking guilty.

"Yeah," Geoff said, weakly. "I promise I won't kill you, Homeschool."

"Better do it, Homeschool," Chris said, chuckling. Ezekiel gulped, then walked over to Bridgette, looking closely.

"How exactly do I feel her up?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

Chris slapped his face. "Just grab her breasts!"

Ezekiel stared intently at Bridgette's chest, sweating profusely, and getting a nosebleed… then backed down. "Soory. Can't do this."

Ezekiel looked disappointed in himself as he walked down from the stage. Bridgette rushed over to him.

"It's OK, Zeke," Bridgette said, smiling as she hugged him. "You're a big man."

Ezekiel blushed. "I didn't think I was that fat, eh?"

Bridgette giggled. "No, I mean you've got a good head on your shoulders."

Ezekiel looked confused. "What's a bad head?"

Bridgette giggled more. "You're a good person."

Ezekiel blushed. "Thanks."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: I have to admit, I really, really wanted to do it. I'm not sure why I didn't. Even if Geoff wasn't there, I don't think I'd have done it. I don't really know why.

Bridgette: That was so sweet! He's such a nice guy… I really hope he can get Izzy too… I mean, wait. Izzy's taken. I don't know… he deserves a great girl, though, like Izzy… wait. Argh! She's taken!

Geoff: I wasn't going to kill the guy. I mean, I knew that's what Chris would've wanted me to do, which is a good enough reason not to kill Homeschool. Though honestly, yes, I am glad he didn't do it.

Chris: Geoff, you're not allowed in here!

* * *

Chris had taken the campers to the large hole still in the forest. "We dug this hole just this morning, especially for this challenge."

"No you didn't," Bridgette said. "Leshawna dug this to trap Courtney in!"

Leshawna looked like she was going to die, as she slipped over to Bridgette to. "Please not now, please not now," Leshawna pleaded, whispering.

"Fine," Bridgette said, angry.

"Bridgette," Chris said, smirking, "you're going to spend the rest of the day in this hole. All alone. If any of your teammates come over, you don't get the point. If anyone on the other team comes over, you automatically get the point. Which means you'd all better make sure you keep her extremely isolated." Chris looked upset as he emphasized the point. "No one may contact Bridgette until I say so."

Bridgette was about to climb into the hole, but she tripped and fell in instead. "I'm OK. I think."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Told ya'!

* * *

Chris, along with most of the campers, minus Bridgette, were in front of what looked like a war zone. Chris pulled out a wig. "Lindsay, remember this?"

Lindsay looked scared. "Yes."

Chris then pulled out a pair of stilettos with fifteen centimeter heels. "Remember these?"

"No?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I don't remember those last year. I'm so forgetful today. I thought I was supposed to wear an ugly wig."

"You are forgetful and imbecilic," Chris said, irritated. "What you have to do is put on the wig and the heels, then walk through this field. If you make it across, you'll survi… err, earn a point for your team."

"That doesn't sound too bad," Lindsay said, putting on the wig, then taking her boots off to put on the stilettos, with Owen staring.

"So, are you gonna' get naked all the way?"

Leshawna walked over to slap Owen. "Show the girl some respect, and besides, she's only changing her shoes!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: OK, Leshawna is so acting really suspicious today.

* * *

"These take some practice," Lindsay said, as she walked through the field. Out of nowhere, though, something below her exploded, sending her high into the air, until she landed painfully on her boobs. Lindsay moaned in pain. "Wha… what was that?"

"A mine," Chris answered casually. "I don't really know why we didn't go with this one last year. So much more exciting than the lame wig challenge!"

"You mean," Lindsay said, realizing what just happened, "you were eavesdropping on us last year?"

"Um, yeah," Chris said, annoyed. "I thought you figured that out, like, last year."

"And you still remembered everything we said?" Lindsay asked, then smirked. "You really have no life outside this show at all, do you?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Lindsay, I would so totally kiss you for that if you were a hot guy!

Courtney: Every now and then she surprises me. She's smarter than she lets on.

* * *

"Just make it across," Chris said, annoyed. "Or don't. Don't really care much if you survive."

Lindsay slowly walked across the field, hitting another mine, which threw her into the air again, putting her in a lot of pain. She kept trying to make it through, but the third mine she hit knocked her out cold.

"Guess she loses," Chris said, shrugging. "Hope she doesn't die out there."

"What?!" Courtney shrieked. "Aren't you going to help her?!"

"Are you crazy?" Chris asked as if Courtney were insane. "She's in the middle of a minefield! I might mess up my hair if I tried to get her!"

Leshawna sighed. "I'll rescue her."

"Be careful," Courtney said, worried, before remembering who she was talking to. "I mean, not that I care, but if you don't make it, neither does Lindsay!"

Leshawna made her way over to Lindsay, but hit a landmine that tossed her into the air, leaving her badly battered. Leshawna still made her way over to Lindsay, then carried her across, setting her down on the ground on the other side.

"We get the point!" Leshawna exclaimed.

"Um, no you don't," Chris said, annoyed. "I said Lindsay had to make it across, not Lindsay and Leshawna."

"You didn't say she **couldn't **help," Courtney said, smirking.

"It was implied!" Chris yelled.

"You know, I could always call my lawyer--"

"Fine, Screaming Pansies get the point! Sheesh!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Trust me, I did not want to mess with Courtney's lawyers. They're more cruel and sadistic than I am! And I was trying to avoid awarding the point on a flimsy technicality, anyway. Would've never held up in court.

* * *

Chris posed for the camera. "So the Screaming Pansies have one point, while the Killer Chrises, not surprisingly, are stuck at zero."

"We didn't really have a chance to get a point yet," Katie said, irritated.

"Shush. You will. They don't need to be reminded of every minute detail, though. But will the Screaming Pansies be able to keep their lead, or will the Killer Chrises make an incredible from-behind victory? Stay tuned to find out, as well as our most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, coming up next on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

"Thank you, Leshawna," Lindsay said softly, as Leshawna laid Lindsay down on the bed in the medical tent. "You confuse me."

"What?" Leshawna asked.

"I mean, you were so mean, bullying me and Heather and Courtney and Gwen, but now you're being so nice." Lindsay looked down. "I really don't know whether you're really being nice, or if you're trying to suck up so we don't vote you off."

Leshawna looked surprised. "Both. I'll admit, I was trying to suck up to Courtney earlier, but I was really worried about you dying. I'm not that heartless, am I?"

Lindsay smiled. "Justin is. You're not. There was a reason we all loved you last year, Leshawna. I just wish she'd come back to us."

Leshawna smiled. "You got my name right."

"I did?" Lindsay asked, smiling. "I thought I'd never get it, Lequisha."

"And there it went," Leshawna said, disappointed. "Once was a good start, I guess."

"I'm sorry," Lindsay said, disappointed. "I'm bad with names."

"Don't be," Leshawna said. "We've all got our faults. I'm sorry I badmouthed you to everyone. All you did was stick up for Courtney, who also didn't do anything wrong." Leshawna looked like she was holding back from crying. "Hug?"

"Yes," Lindsay said, smiling. Leshawna hugged Lindsay carefully to avoid hurting her more.

"Thank you," Leshawna said. "I'm really, really sorry."

Lindsay smiled. "Are you going to apologize to Heather too?"

"Hell no!" Leshawna shouted. "She's the whole reason this mess started!"

"Wait," Lindsay said, confused. "Aren't **you **the whole reason this started?"

"No, Heather!" Leshawna shouted. "She was such a bully that I needed to figure out how to get rid of her before she could hurt anyone! I may have gone overboard, and I did hurt some people who didn't deserve it, but I also got rid of that horrible monster so she wouldn't be able to torment us!" Leshawna then turned sweet. "Get better Lindsay." She then left the tent as Chef entered.

"Leshawna," Lindsay said softly, "you're such an idiot."


	17. Day 8, Part 2: I Love You Always For Eva

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 17: Day 8: Part 2: I Love You, Always For Eva**

Gwen was lying on her stomach on her bed in the Playa' des Losers. She wasn't crying, though she was absolutely miserable. Izzy knocked on the door.

"Go away," Gwen weakly shot out.

Izzy walked in anyway, carrying a steak and baked potato on a plate. "If you really wanted us to leave you alone that badly, you'd have locked the door. You need to eat."

"That's nice," Gwen let out, not looking up.

"Promise me you'll eat," Izzy said.

"I'll eat," Gwen said. "I'm not suicidal, you know."

"Izzy didn't think you were. She was just worried that you'd forget that you needed to eat." Izzy looked down. "I'm really sorry, Gwen."

"How can I trust anyone?"

"Huh?" Izzy asked, confused.

"My best friend… or at least I thought she was, turned against me like it was nothing." Gwen started crying. "How could she do that to me?"

"To frame Heather," Izzy said, looking disgusted.

"She's worse than Heather," Gwen stated coldly. "At least Heather never pretended to be my friend."

"She'd really like to be, though," Izzy said.

"To take advantage of me," Gwen said, angry. "Just like she's taking advantage of you. You're falling for her lies."

Izzy shook her head. "She's not lying. She deserves a second chance, doesn't she?" Gwen didn't answer. Izzy went over to the door to leave. "Just promise you'll eat, OK?"

* * *

Chris was standing next to Eva, who was chained to a large time bomb, counting down from 5:57, and Katie chained to another, also counting down from 5:57, as Chris started to speak before an angry crowd. "And welcome back to _Total Drama Chris!_ When we last left you, the Screaming Pansies had earned one point in the Fear Multiple challenge, while the Killer Chrises had yet to earn a point. And in a few moments, Cody is going to have to defuse this large bomb."

"How could you do this to us?!" Katie screamed.

"This isn't funny!" Eva screamed, shaken. "When I get out of here, you are **so dead!**"

"**If **you get out," Chris said, chuckling to himself. "Otherwise, **you'll **be so dead."

"Please!" Eva pleaded.

"How did you manage to get Eva strapped in there, anyway?" Justin asked, smirking.

"Tranquilizer darts," Chris answered, smiling. "As for Katie, I just used my big ol' muscles. Any other questions?"

"Katie, please don't die!" Sadie cried. "I don't know what I'd do if you died."

"That wasn't a question," Chris said, annoyed.

"When can I start?" Cody asked, looking nervous.

"When people stop asking me stupid questions. Sheesh!"

"Chris," Justin said, smirking, "could you give me detailed directions on how to get to Montreal?"

"Sure," Chris said, cackling. "I'll write down some detailed directions, so you can have a good figure in your head."

Courtney and Leshawna, both irritated, walked up to throw Chris a good distance away.

"You two better start," Leshawna said.

"We don't even have schematics," Cody said, looking scared. "You don't think these are real bombs, do you?"

"I'd rather not take that risk," Noah said, irritated. "Seriously, has Chris gone insane?"

"Yes! Yes!" Katie screamed, crying, with 4:06 left on her bomb.

"I'll be right back, Katie," Noah said, as he rushed off.

"Wait!" Katie screamed, crying more. "Don't leave me!" Katie started sobbing profusely.

Cody looked at the back of his bomb. "I really have no idea what to do. Are you sure you can't break free?"

"Believe me, I tried!" Eva yelled. "I have no idea what the hell these chains are made of!"

"Well it serves you right!" Courtney shouted, angry. "I mean, not you Katie--I'm sorry you had to be involved--but Eva."

"So I deserve to die?!" Eva screamed. "Come on! I'm sorry, OK, I'm sorry!"

Courtney rolled her eyes. "I'm so sure. You're only saying that because you're staring into the eyes of death."

"Of course I am! It was still wrong of me to beat you up when you couldn't fight back. I let my anger overcome me, OK? Do I really deserve to die for it?!"

"Wait, what?" Leshawna asked, putting an arm around Courtney. "You beat up my home girl here?"

"Your home girl?" Eva asked, confused for a second, then seething with her typical rage. "You hate her!"

"I don't hate her!" Leshawna shouted, looking nervous. "No idea where you got that idea from."

"Digging that hole that tricking Leshawna into falling in with a note you wrote pretending to be Duncan," Katie said nonchalantly, before screaming. "Noah, where are you?!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Sure, trying to take up for me when you were trying to eliminate me yourself. I was glad to see Eva wasn't falling for that, either. I always assumed she was stupid. Aren't muscle-bound freaks of nature usually stupid?

* * *

"Look, Courtney" Eva said, looking down, "I'm really, really sorry I did that. I know you were mean last year, but--"

"Mean last year?" Courtney asked, contorting her face. "Me, mean last year?"

"A little," Katie said, nervously, with 2:50 left on her bomb.

"I mean callously telling me I needed anger management last year," Eva said, angry.

"Callously?" Courtney asked. "That doesn't sound like me at all--"

"Coughyesitdoescough," Harold said from behind. Courtney glared.

"I'm sorry if I did that, though," Courtney continued, turning back to Eva. "I honestly did think it might help though."

"It has," Eva said. "I mean, it's not a miracle cure, but I think I've been getting along better this year. I mean, I've already survived five ceremonies, so I don't think everyone's afraid of me anymore." Eva chuckled. "I kind of miss that, though. There's a certain power you have over others when everyone's afraid of you."

"You're laughing," Courtney said, worried. "You do know you're about to die."

"Yes," Eva said, looking down. "Figure it out yet, Cody?"

"No clue," Cody said, as Noah came rushing back with a book.

"Noah, where were you?!" Katie shouted. "I don't want to die alone! Though I guess I don't want you to die with me, either."

"This book tells me how to disarm bombs," Noah said, scared. "I don't want you to--I mean, I don't want to lose this point!"

Noah started working in the back of Katie's bomb, with Cody still with no idea what to do with his.

"I'm really sorry, Eva," Cody said, dejected. "I have no clue what I'm doing, or how to stop this thing."

"Not as sorry as I'm going to be," Eva said, sounding defeated.

Courtney smiled a little. "That's not the Eva we know! She never gives up!"

"I can't do anything, though," Eva said, disappointed. "All I can do is really hope Cody can stop it in time."

"Finished," Noah said, with Katie's bomb stopped at 1:20. "Cody, let me do yours."

"Are you allowed to?" Cody asked.

"Let him, please!" Eva pleaded.

"Do it, Cody," Courtney said. "I know it means we won't get the point for our team, but we weren't going to get it, anyway. I don't want Eva's blood on my hands."

"Thanks Courtney," Katie said. "That was very unselfish of you for a change."

"For a change?" Courtney said, contorting her face again.

"I mean, you're usually so gung-ho about winning at any cost," Katie said nervously. "And I'm not exactly out of the woods yet, either. I'm right next to a live bomb, and I'm still stuck here!"

"Oh," Courtney said, looking down. "I forgot about that, actually."

"You all may want to run far away now," Noah said, from behind Eva's bomb, with forty-seven seconds left.

Everyone else started running off, except for Courtney, Sadie, and Leshawna.

"I can't just leave them!" Courtney exclaimed. "They're about to die!"

"And I can't leave Katie!" Sadie shouted. "I'd die without her!"

"Courtney, you'll die too if you stay here," Leshawna said sincerely. "Sadie, you'll die if you **stay **here. Not the other way around. Do we really want two extra people dead?"

"She's right," Eva said. "You should go."

"Oh," Courtney said, looking guilty. "OK." She and Leshawna then ran off.

"I'm sorry, Katie," Sadie said, looking down.

"It's OK," Katie said, smiling, as Sadie ran off. Eva and Katie were looking nervously at each other, with Noah still working behind Eva's bomb, and Cody rocking on his feet in front of them, with thirty-two seconds left.

"You know, Eva," Cody said, blushing, "you know you're pretty hot."

"What?" Eva asked, confused. "I'm not hot. I know people think I'm ugly."

"He was crushing on Beth, though," Katie said. "I don't think he's too picky."

"Well, Beth turned me down," Cody said, looking down. "Want to kiss before we die?"

"What?" Eva shouted, then backed down. "I mean, sure, do what you want."

"I don't have to do it if you don't want, I mean," Cody said, shyly. "I don't want to force anything on you, but I thought you deserved someone to appreciate you if you were going to… well."

"You can stop talking and start kissing anytime now," Eva said, looking scared. Cody climbed up Eva a bit to reach her mouth, where the two started passionately going at it. Or at least as well as they reasonably could with both of them in awkward positions.

"Aww," Katie said, "That would be so sweet if we weren't about to all die."

"Almost," Noah said, from behind the bomb. "Almost… there!"

"We're alive?" Katie asked, scared. "Does that mean we're alive?!"

"Yes," Noah said, coming from behind the bomb, which had stopped with 0:07 left on the timer.

"Seven?" Katie asked. "I thought you were supposed to stop time bombs with two seconds left."

"Not the first time I managed that, actually," Noah said, blushing.

"Wait," Katie asked. "You mean you've stopped a time bomb before?"

"Surprisingly, yes," Noah stated.

Katie was looking over to Eva and Cody. "Wanna' make out?"

Noah turned bright red. "No, not really."

"Aww, come on," Katie said, smiling wryly. "I'm tied to this bomb still. It's a perfect setup! I can be the bondage victim, and you can--"

"Too much information!" Noah shouted, looking irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: I never would've picked Katie out as the kinky type. Wonder if that means Sadie is too. Cody… not so surprising. (Eva blushes.) He is pretty cute for a puny weakling, though.

Cody: You know, now that we've actually survived, Eva's probably going to kill me any moment now. That was stupid and impulsive, but Beth and I were only friends. And there's something hot about a woman who could kick my ass.

* * *

Katie sighed. "Well, as my night in shining armor, you are at least supposed to give me an innocent kiss."

Noah was still blushing. "I suppose I could do that, except I'll have trouble reaching you."

Katie rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to be a genius. I'm sure you can figure out how to do this."

Noah looked around for a moment, then grabbed his bomb book and calculus book, putting them on the ground in front of Katie, then tip-toeing to give her a sweet, innocent kiss on the lips. Both of them blushes, with Cody and Eva watching.

"Thank you," Katie said sweetly. "You're a real gentleman."

Noah shrugged. "Just doing like you wanted me too. Didn't want to disappoint you and all."

"You liked it too, didn't you?" Katie said, grinning.

Noah blushes. "I suppose I did."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: Oh my God, I can't believe you kissed Noah!  
Katie: Oh, I so totally did! He was such a gentleman, too, didn't even try to take advantage of my position. Though it would have been nice if he would have.  
Sadie: We've got to tell everyone! Eeeiii!  
Katie: No, we can't.  
Sadie: Wait, why not? Everyone would love to know that you and Noah are official now!  
Katie: Noah's still shy about the whole thing. I think we should wait, for him.  
Sadie: (sad) OK.

* * *

"I don't suppose we're getting out anytime soon," Eva grumbled.

"Knowing Chris, he'll probably forget about you until he's ready for your challenge," Cody said, looking down. "I guess someone should go and get Chris."

"I'll wait here," Noah said. "I mean, someone should probably keep them company, and all."

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Katie exclaimed. "I'd so totally hug you if I could move."

"Cody," Eva said, blushing. "Please don't tell anyone. I'd die if everyone knew. But I'd kill you first." Eva glared.

"Uh, sure thing," Cody said, nervous, before he ran off to find Chris. Noah went over to smack Eva.

"You'd kill him first?" Noah asked, irritated.

"It was a joke," Eva said, irritated.

"Yeah," Noah said, rolling his eyes. "That's not going to win him over, you know."

"Yeah, you have to be cute and sweet and nice and everything nice, because look at the prize I won doing that!" Katie exclaimed, looking over to Noah.

"I don't do nice, OK?" Eva said.

"Neither do I," Noah stated. "Not sure how Katie here can stand it, myself."

Katie rolled her eyes. "It just feels nice to be nice, ya' know? Being friendly, doing nice things, thinking of others--"

"Thinking of others?" Noah asked, smirking. "That's not really one of your high points."

Katie glared back. "I'm still nicer than you."

Noah shrugged. "Won't argue that." Noah then turned over to Eva. "Eva, are you all… um, awake?" Eva was sleeping there, upright and all, chained to the bomb still.

"She must have been tired," Katie said. "I don't blame her. I am too, really."

"That was awfully sudden," Noah said, then looked down and picked up a small dart. "And this explains it."

"What?" Chris asked, alongside Cody, walking over to the bombs. "You thought I'd actually release Eva without knocking her out first? I'm not that crazy!" Chris whipped out a remote with a large red button, pressed the button, and immediately the chains released Eva and Katie, who both fell to the ground.

"Ugh," Katie moaned. "Noah, you were supposed to catch me."

"I'm sorry," Noah said, irritated, then went over to help Katie up. "I didn't realize that all he had to do was press a simple button. I thought he'd have a key or hacksaw or something."

"I'll wait here with Eva," Cody said, smiling. "I just hope she doesn't throttle me when she wakes up."

"Better you than me," Chris said, patting Cody on the head, irritating him. "Katie, since you're awake, we'll have you do your challenge now."

"Wait," Katie said, nervous. "Wasn't that my challenge?"

"Nope!" Chris exclaimed. "Just had to tie someone to the bombs that these guys cared enough about. Had a feeling the geek might have the hots for androgynous muscle chick there, her being single, and him liking to get beat up, ha ha!"

Katie rolled her eyes. "So where am I going, anyway?"

"You'll see," Chris said, irritated. "I'm sure your boyfriend is going to want to come, too."

"We're not boyfriend and girlfriend!" Noah shouted.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I wanted to slap Noah for that, but really, I wouldn't want to admit it to Chris, of all people, either, so I couldn't really blame him this time.

* * *

Izzy was installing a large monitor at the amphitheater as Chris as the other contestants walked over to it.

"Izzy?" Chris complained. "What are you doing?"

"None of your business," Izzy said, irritated.

"Actually, yes, it is my business. Literally, **my business!**" Chris shouted.

Izzy scoffed. "Look, I'm within my contractual rights to do this." Izzy tossed down a thick contract at Chris. "You can read through it if you want."

"Me? Read?" Chris asked, irritated. "I have lawyers who read this stuff for me. And they will. But I need to use this now, so scram!"

Izzy stuck out her tongue. "Nya-nya!" Izzy said before dashing off. "I have other places to be too, you know!" Chef started rolling out a grand piano onto the stage, grumbling.

"The score is tied one all, but I'm hoping we can break it now. Katie, a little birdie has told us about your performance anxiety," Chris said, smirking. "All you have to do is play 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' on that piano for a point." Chris then spoke super quickly. "Forpartone!"

"What was that?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow, standing next to Sadie.

"I think he sneezed," Sadie said.

"I think we'll regret whatever that was shortly," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

Katie walked onto the stage, and sat at the piano, looking to Chris. "Just go already!" he shouted. Katie was nervous, but wound up playing it perfectly, until the end, where the hit the wrong key, which sent a shock through her body.

"What was that?!" Katie screamed.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that part?" Chris asked, smirking. "When you hit a wrong note, you get shocked. And each time, the shock gets bigger and bigger. A few more and you might even die, so I'd really be careful if I were you."

"Well, I already won, anyway."

"Not quite," Chris said, smirking. "That was only the warm-up. Now, for the real challenge, I want you to play 'Fur Elise' for us."

"What?!" Katie shrieked. "But I don't know how to play that song!"

"Don't worry," Chris said, smirking, as Chef brought out a small booklet. "We have the sheet music for you. We'll even let Noah turn the pages for you, if you want some help."

"Excuse me, Chris," Courtney said, from the bleachers, "but I really need to use the bathroom."

Chris shrugged. "No one's forcing you to stay." Courtney left the area, headed for the bathroom. Justin decided to get up and follow.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: You know, it didn't even hit me that Chris wasn't exactly making us watch him torture everyone. I'm not sure why we're even watching. (Courtney thinks about it for a few seconds.) I hope Katie's OK, though.

* * *

"Do you think you can do it?" Noah asked, standing next to Katie to turn pages, if necessary.

"No, I don't," Katie said, crying. "Especially knowing about the shocks I'm going to get. I'm really not that good. There's a reason I hate doing this."

"You can back out," Noah said, smiling. "No one's going to be upset."

"No," Katie said, nervous. "I'm doing it." Katie then started to play, and did fine for about half a minute, before she made a mistake, which, along with the shock, completely messed her up, as she made more consecutive mistakes, so Noah hurried and pulled her away before she wound up hurting herself anymore.

"Katie!" Noah shouted, with Katie collapsed on the floor. "Are you OK?"

"Not really," Katie said, feeling bad.

"Katie and I are finished with our challenges, so we're going to her cabin," Noah said angrily. Noah tried to pick up Katie to carry her, but realized he was having problems. "I don't suppose someone can lend a hand?"

"Sure thing," Leshawna said, smiling, and she carried Katie over to her cabin. "Always willing to help a friend!"

"And we were friends when, exactly?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Look," Leshawna said, irritated, "do you want help or not?"

"OK, OK," Noah said, irritated himself now, before smiling a little. "Thank you," he said quickly.

"Oh, you're welcome," Leshawna said, smiling back. "Helping people is what I do!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I'm really hoping karma decides to forgive me here.

* * *

Courtney was exiting the confession outhouse as a dart hit her. "Ow, what was that?" Courtney asked, slapping her neck, surprised, before collapsing.

"Perfect," Justin said, grinning deviously as he started dragging her away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: I am **not **going anywhere tonight!

* * *

Cody was sitting by Eva, still out cold, when he was suddenly shot with a dart as well, and quickly fell asleep. Justin, still dragging Courtney, walked up to Eva, and started dragging her along, too.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: Fortunately, I'm pretty strong. I mean, I definitely don't want to go head-to-head with Eva or Courtney anytime soon, but when they're asleep, I can drag them along quite a bit, as it turns out. And Cody? Well, I just didn't want anyone snooping around as to what I was doing.

* * *

Justin dragged Courtney and Eva to the top of the thousand-foot cliff, with Eva sleeping at the very edge of the cliff. Justin spritzed Courtney enough to wake her up slightly before throwing her off the cliff, onto the Jell-O-covered cement slab below, then spritzed Eva to wake her up before quickly sneaking away.

Courtney was screaming all the way down, facing upward, waving her arms. Eva quickly heard and looked down, only to see Courtney falling to what would surely be her death. Courtney was loud enough to get the attention of most of the others around, who rushed over to see what was happening.

"Courtney, are you OK?" Leshawna asked, concerned, as she rushed over to the slab, climbing it, and trying to pick Courtney up from a huge crater she had made. "She needs help, now!"

Tyler and Trent hurried over to tend to her, and helping Courtney out of the crater. "What happened?" Tyler asked.

"Eva," Courtney weakly said, before fainting.

"We'll get you help, OK girl?" Leshawna said, sincerely. "God, I hope she's OK. I hope Lindsay's good enough to take her out of the tent, too, 'cause we really need Courtney in there now."

"When did you start caring so much about Courtney, anyway?" Tyler asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Um, excuse me?" Leshawna asked, annoyed.

"I heard about what you did with the hole they dumped Bridgette in," Tyler said, annoyed.

Leshawna started to sweat. "I… I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Lindsay told me," Tyler said, getting angrier.

"Oh, Lindsay," Leshawna said, wiping sweat from her forehead. "She probably made a mistake. You know how easy girl gets confused." Tyler continued to glare at her.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Why are people sayin' I'm so heartless that I'd let my friends die? Leshawna don't do that! I just… hurt them. (Leshawna looks down.)

* * *

"Eva!" Ezekiel shouted, angry, as Eva was climbing down the cliff, with her hand to her head as if she had a headache. "What did you do that for?!"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't save her," Eva said, looking down. "Is she OK?"

"Why did you throw her over?!" Ezekiel yelled, angry.

"I didn't," Eva said, irritated. "I just woke up, and I'm not in a good mood, so don't start with me."

"We saw you throw her off!" Tyler shouted, raising his fists. "Courtney said you threw her off!"

"She's lying, and I don't think you really want to get in a fight with me!" Eva shouted. Tyler started punching Eva anyway. Eva just yawned, and punched him once, knocking him to the ground.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: (nervous) At least I hope she's lying… I did black out back there. Did I really do something so horrible? I mean, beating her up is one thing, but… I think someone's trying to frame me, and I find out who, that person is **so **dead. (looks around nervously) Get better, Courtney.

Tyler: (with a black eye) And there's more where that came from! Yeah! (Tyler looks down.)

* * *

"Lindsay, how ya' doin', hon?" Leshawna said, looking over to Lindsay, as she and Trent were carrying Courtney in, who was unconscious.

"Not good," Lindsay said, moaning, until she saw Courtney. "I think I'm better than her, though. She needs help now."

"You think I can bring you back to the cabin, and you'll be OK there?" Leshawna asked.

"Yes," Lindsay said, smiling slight. "Courtney needs care." Lindsay looked nervous as she was being lifted by Leshawna. "What happened?"

"She was pushed over the thousand-foot cliff, onto that stupid concrete block. Might've been Eva."

"Of course it was Eva," Trent said. "Who else would've done it?"

"I don't know," Leshawna said, irritated. "I have a theory, though."

Lindsay looked tired as she was lying in Leshawna's arms. "Can I see Eden?"

Leshawna looked confused, but smiled. "Sure."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I was hoping if I saw Ella, then maybe I could ask her what happened, and then everyone would be happy! Well, except for the person who pushed Courtney, anyway. That person dies.

* * *

Chris was standing before most of the campers at the base of the thousand-foot cliff. "For the record, that counts as a point for the Screaming Pansies, bringing the score to two to one in their favor." Chris then looked angry. "'Cause I just know her lawyers are going to kill me if I don't award that point. You can all thank Eva for that"

"I didn't do it," Eva stated coldly.

"Yeah. No one's buying it Miss Hothead." Chris held out a dart gun. "And I wouldn't think of attacking me for that comment, either."

Eva's eyes grew wide, then she scowled. "That's why I blacked out! **You **framed me!"

"Like I would do that."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Which I would. Except for legal reasons, the producers really don't like it when I directly influence who hates who. Bringing them near death, on the other hand… well, it's what they signed up for!

* * *

"Anyway," Chris continued, "it's time for--ack!" Chris screamed, holding his neck, then falling to the ground. The other campers looked around, unsure of what to do, until they were all whisked away, except for Harold. A guy cloaked in black then leapt before Harold.

"If you want to rescue your friends, you must defeat us all!" the ninja said.

"Bring it on," Harold said, smirking as he posed. The ninja ran toward Harold, which Harold deftly dodged. The ninja then whistled, and ninety-nine more ninjas then appeared, surrounding Harold. Harold took out his nunchucks, and started twirling them. The ninja then attacked one at a time, as Harold leapt around daintily, as the ninja took their turns to attack.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: I never really understood why evil ninjas always attack one at a time, instead of all attacking together. That really would have made the fight more fair.

* * *

"You have defeated us, oh mad-skilled one," the lead ninja said, bowing, as the other ninja left in a flash, returning the other contestants who were around, now disoriented, as well as Chris.

"OK, those guys were supposed to warn me when they were ready to do that," Chris said, getting up, annoyed. "But Harold did defeat them, I guess, so the score is now three to one in the Pansies' favor."

"I could've beaten the ninjas," Eva said, rolling her eyes. "That wasn't much of a challenge."

"Don't worry, Eva," Chris said, smirking. "We have something harder for you."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (holding up a dart gun) This was like the best investment ever! Getting so much use out of this baby today.

* * *

"You'll pay for this!" Eva shouted, as she was dangling from a rope from the thousand-foot cliff."

"Hey, we removed the concrete, so when you fall, you'll land in the water." Chris then stroked his chin. "Did we get rid of the sharks, too? Can't remember. Ah well, too late to check now."

"Isn't she supposed to have a choice in whether she wants to do this or not?" Sadie asked, confused.

"Yes!" Eva screamed. "Get me out of this!"

"Do you want me to cut the rope, or--"

"Sadie, Sadie," Justin said, shaking his head. "Our team needs the point. You don't want to ruin it for our team, do you? Then everyone would get mad at you if we lost, babe." Justin winked at Sadie.

"But she's scared," Sadie said, looking worried.

"I'm not scared!" Eva screamed. "I'm not scared of anything!"

"OK, then," Sadie said, smiling.

"I mean, help me!" Eva screamed.

"Look, Sadie," Justin said, smiling, as he ripped off his shirt. "You don't really want to help, do you?"

"No," Sadie said, in a loving daze.

"Eva, you're apparently afraid of burning alive," Chris said, smirking.

"I can't exactly punch out a fire," Eva said, looking scared.

"I like that look on you," Chris said, grinning deviously. "You might want to know that I've doused the rope in gasoline. It'll set fire, setting you on fire, and eventually, you'll drop into the lake below, where hopefully, you will neither burn to death, nor drown, since it'll be a little hard to swim."

"You're going to pay for this!"

"You said that already," Chris said, looking bored, as he took out a lighter, setting the rope on fire, which quickly burned down.

"Why are we burning her at the cliff, anyway?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

"Hello," Chris said, annoyed, waving a hand in front of Ezekiel's face, "these challenges are more extreme this year! We wouldn't want her to just stop, drop, and roll, now would we? Besides, she tried to kill you last year. You should be happy we're doing this." After a few seconds of blood-curdling screaming, Ezekiel pushed Chris aside, pulled out a knife to cut the rope, burning himself in the process, dropping Eva into the water, then dove in.

"OK, that was unnecessary," Chris said, irritated.

"We'd better still get the point," Justin said, irritated.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Chris said, very unhappy. "Seriously, why did that hick do that, anyway? Did he forget about last year?"

"I thought it was brave," Sadie said, smiling in awe.

"Well I thought it was stupid," Chris said, irritated, "and my thought counts the most, 'cause I'm the host, so nya!"

"It's not a competition," Harold said, rolling his eyes. "Gosh!"

Down below, Ezekiel was swimming to shore while carrying an unconscious Eva, pretty badly burned, giving mouth-to-mouth when Eva came to, and started strangling him for a second, before putting him down.

"I'm soory," Ezekiel said.

"What just happened?" Eva asked.

"Well, Chris tied you to the rope from that cliff, and he set it on fire, and you were on fire, so I cut the rope, then doove into the water to save you from drowning."

Eva looked out of it, and was having trouble taking it in. "So you just saved me."

"Yup," Ezekiel said, nodding.

"Even after trying to kill you last year," Eva said, smirking. "Thank you." Eva hugged Ezekiel, then looked sternly at him. "Don't tell anyone about this, though."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: (badly burned, looking nervous) Chris is really out to get me. I'd so love to kill him.

* * *

Ezekiel, with his not-burned arm, helped Eva get to the medical tent, where on the way, they found Cody, sleeping.

"Guess he was tired, eh?" Ezekiel said, watching Cody.

"Or Chris got to him," Eva grumbled, kicking Cody hard enough to flip him into the air.

Cody moaned as he picked himself up. "What was that for?!"

Eva looked embarrassed. "I didn't mean to kick you that hard. I was just trying to wake you up."

"Wait, how'd I fall asleep?" Cody asked, shaking. "I didn't mean to fall asleep while--"

"It was Chris," Eva grumbled. "You can relax, I'm not going to kill you."

Cody wiped sweat from his forehead. "Are you OK, though? You don't look very well."

"No kidding," Eva said, rolling her eyes.

"She was burned, and we were heading for the medical tent, eh," Ezekiel said.

"You need help?" Cody asked.

"Yes, she's kinda' heavy, eh," Ezekiel said. Eva was visibly getting angry.

"Not something you say to a girl," Cody said, looking worried. "Especially not Eva. It's all muscle, though, Ezekiel didn't mean anything by it." Cody started to smile. "You're a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman." Eva calmed down, smiling slightly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: (blushing slightly) No one ever notices that I'm smart. And no guy's ever called me beautiful before… had a woman call me that before. I was about to hit her, but it turned out she could fight back. We're lifelong sparring partners now, so it worked out.

* * *

Eva, Cody, and Ezekiel entered the medical tent, though Chef was still tending to a still unconscious Courtney.

"Get out!" Chef shouted.

"But Eva needs help," Cody said.

"Well wait in line! Only room for one person at a time!"

"We'll wait," Eva said, irritated.

"But you could always just force him to tend to you, right?" Cody asked

"I can wait it out," Eva said. "Look at Courtney. She needs this now."

"I thought you hated Courtney," Cody said, confused.

"I don't want her to die, OK?" Eva shouted. "And someone's trying to frame me for this!"

"OK, bad subject," Cody said, thinking.

"Didn't you want to kill Bridgette last year, eh?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

"Can we please not bring that up," Eva said, embarrassed. "That's not really a moment I want to remember."

"But when you came back, you said--"

Eva grabbed Ezekiel and held him in the air. "Don't tempt me."

"Soory," Ezekiel said.

Eva put him back down, looking guilty. "You know, you really deserve a pounding, after what you said last year."

Ezekiel hid under his tuque. "I knoo."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: Yeah, I lost my temper again. (Eva pauses for a moment.) You know, when Courtney's better, I'd love to have a sparring match with her. A fair one. She's probably the only one tough enough here for it would be any fun.

* * *

"Justin!" Chris called out, after landing his airplane. Chris exited the plane, smirking, holding a Halloween witch mask. "In order to earn a point for your team, you have to wear this mask for five minutes."

Justin's eyes grew wide. "But… but it's hideous!"

"That's the point," Chris said, irritated. "To turn you into one of the ugly people."

"No!" Sadie screamed, clinging to Justin. "You can't do that! He needs to be beautiful, and share his beauty with the world!"

"It's only for five minutes," Harold said, irritated. "Idiot."

"But five minutes without Justin's beautiful face is like an eternity!" Owen said, scared. "I don't know how I could go on if I couldn't watch Justin's hotness."

"Seriously, are you gay?" Justin asked, irritated.

"I could be for you," Owen said, grinning. Justin was freaked out.

"Owen, my man," Chris said, "since you're here, we're ready for your challenge! Get on this plane!"

"I don't know," Owen said, nervous. "That plane doesn't look very safe."

"It isn't," Chris stated flatly. "But you can earn your team a point!"

"No way!" Owen shouted.

"Would you do it for an Owen snack?" Chris said, holding up a dog biscuit.

"Ooh, yummy," Owen said, looking longingly at the dog biscuit. Chris threw it into the plane, Owen jumped in, then Chris slammed the door. Owen started screaming as the plane flew high into the sky, then promptly crashed.

"I'm OK!" Owen shouted from afar, which echoed over to where the others were standing.

"That's good, because we really don't have room in the medical tent!" Chris shouted back.

"Who was piloting that plane, anyway?" Harold asked.

"Not important!" Chris shouted, irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: Probably mattered to the intern's family.

* * *

"Eva, there you are, girl!" Leshawna exclaimed, still carrying Lindsay. "Guess we kinda' went in a circle looking for you. Ooh, you look bad, girl."

"I **don't **want to talk about it," Eva grumbled.

"Edie," Lindsay asked weakly, "did you throw Courtney over the cliff, onto that cecrete slab?" Cody started giggling, but stopped after Eva glared at him.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: What's so funny about throwing Courtney onto a cecrete slab? I didn't get it. I didn't think it was funny.

* * *

"I didn't do it," Eva stated coldly.

Lindsay looked at Eva, tired. "You don't really like Courtney much, though."

"I was framed!" Eva shouted, angry. "Someone's trying to get me kicked off!"

"Like the iPod," Lindsay said, looking a bit irritated. "I remember that."

"Zune, actually," Eva said. "But yeah. I didn't do it, but no one's going to believe me. Everyone already thinks I'm just a bully."

"You kinda' are," Lindsay said.

"I'm not good at controlling my anger, OK?" Eva shouted. "But I didn't do this!"

"Justin did," Lindsay stated. The others just looked at her in shock, blinking. "Justin passed by the tent earlier, following Courtney. Though I'm surprised she didn't overpower him."

"The darts," Eva said, slamming her fist into her other palm.

"Darts?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I'm bad at that game. My parents don't let me play it anymore, except when I bring a boy home, for some reason. I don't always understand them."

"No, sleeping darts!" Eva shouted. "Chris had sleeping darts, and I'll bet Justin used one on Courtney, as well as me and sleepyhead here!" Eva smacked the back of Cody's head, harder than she intended, as Cody's face went right into the ground.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: (with a bruised face, smiling) That was actually kinda' hot.

* * *

"How are we going to get anyone to believe you over Justin, though?" Lindsay asked. "I mean, everyone loves Justin for some reason. I don't get it, really. I mean he's really super hot, but he isn't very nice."

"It's because he's really super hot," Eva said, angry.

"And you're kind of ugly," Lindsay said innocently. "I guess that's why you can't get away with being mean." Leshawna quickly placed Lindsay down to block as Eva lunged toward her, being futily held back by Ezekiel and Cody. Lindsay started crying on the ground. "I'm sorry! I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry!"

"This is why people are afraid of you!" Leshawna shouted. "Trying to attack Lindsay like that!"

"But she--" Eva started, then stopped, and desperately held back tears.

"She called you ugly," Cody said.

"I did?" Lindsay asked, then started crying. "Oh my God, I did! I'm sorry, Ellie! I was just trying to figure out why Justin could be mean and you couldn't. I didn't mean to--" Lindsay stopped herself. "Anything I say is going to make things worse. I'm really sorry, though."

Eva calmed down, then looked guilty. "That's a sensitive spot for me, OK?"

"I'll try to remember," Lindsay said sweetly, still lying there. "I'm bad at remembering things, though."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: If nothing else, Lindsay will be the ultimate test of my patience, saying things like… that, oblivious to anyone else's feelings… I guess I need it, though.

Lindsay: I didn't mean to say Emma was ugly as a bad thing. I mean, I know what I was trying to say back there, but I don't think it came out right. I'm really sorry.

* * *

"Sadie!" Chris exclaimed, standing before Sadie, Justin, Harold, Trent, and Tyler. "I'm not sure where all you guys went, but it's time for your challenge! Remember that wig from last season?

"I'm not going to have to walk through a minefield in high heels, am I?" Sadie asked, nervous

"Tempting, but no. That wasn't your fear, after all," Chris said, then started laughing maniacally, finally pulling out an electric razor.

"What's that for?" Sadie asked, scared.

"You will earn a point for your team if you allow me to shave you bald! Now **that's **a bad haircut! If you can remember what Heather looked like after Leshawna burned her wig--"

"Leshawna burned her wig?" Sadie asked, confused. "But isn't Leshawna nice?" Chris slapped his face.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: OK, I forgot she was the gullible one. Or the more gullible one, I should say.

* * *

"Well, you remember what Heather looked like bald, right?" Chris said, smirking.

"There's no way I'm doing that!" Sadie shouted, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Well that's fine with me," Chris said, irritated. "You don't get a point for your team, then." Chris then turned to Trent. "Trent!"

"Wh--what?" Trent asked, nervously, gulping.

"It's Mr. Mime time!" Chris shouted, as he stepped aside to reveal a very muscular, Rambo-looking mime behind him.

"That mime's got some mad ninja skills himself," Harold said, looking impressed.

"Wh--what's that?!" Trent shrieked.

"It's the new mime!" Chris exclaimed. "All you have to do is defeat this mime in mime battle, using mime techniques!"

"But that's not real!" Trent shouted, afraid. The Rambo mime then mimed taking out a bazooka, and mimed firing straight at Trent, sending Trent flying back a few hundred feet."

"Wait!" Trent shouted. "How was that even possible?!"

"He's very talented at his craft," Chris said, smirking. "Very, very talented."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: I would ask how that was scientifically possible, but considering all the other weird stuff that's happened on the island… well, I tend to stop wondering such things so often.

* * *

Bridgette was sitting curled up in the hole in the middle of the forest, with her arms wrapped around her legs, shaking, as an intern threw an alligator into the pit.

"What?!" Bridgette screamed. "You can't be serious!" Bridgette was scared as the alligator inched closer to her, snapping… until Izzy leapt into the hole and wrestled the alligator.

"No one beats Izzy in alligator wrangling!" Izzy exclaimed, as she was fighting with the alligator, and winning.

"But Chris said no one was allowed to see me," Bridgette said, worried.

"Doesn't matter," Izzy said, still fighting the alligator. "Your team already lost. I did the math. I don't expect Chris to tell anyone, and frankly, the ones still following Chris around probably aren't even going to notice. And I'm not really on any team anyway, so it doesn't really matter."

"So we lost," Bridgette said, looking down.

"Look at the bright side," Izzy said, smiling. "I can get you out of this hole, at least!"

Bridgette beamed. "Thank you!"

"You can always watch me finish up some work I'm doing for tonight," Izzy said. "Or you can go see Courtney. She's not doing very well." Izzy put a finger to her eye. "Neither is Lindsay, for that matter, but I'm not sure where she is at this exact moment."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Well, if we were going to lose anyway, I might as well not stay in that hole, right?

* * *

In a boxing ring, Tyler was facing a giant chicken wearing boxing shorts and boxing gloves on its wings.

"Now remember, Tyler, in order to secure the point, you have to win this match!" Chris exclaimed, then snickered.

"This'll be a cinch!" Tyler exclaimed. "I'm really good at sports, and this loser doesn't look so tough."

"Watch what you say," Chris said, snickering. "That boxer is the famed Mike Tyson Foods."

"They say he bit off a clergyman's ear in a match before," Sadie said, worried.

"They say he took on Chuck Norris, and even though he lost, of course, he actually lived," Justin said, looking impressed.

"They say he's a giant chicken," Harold said, rolling his eyes. "Really, you two are idiots. He's a giant chicken wearing boxing shorts and gloves!"

Tyler took the fight seriously, though, and ducked a couple of punches, before walloping the giant chicken with one of his own, sending the chicken to the mat, also knocking its gloves off. Its shorts fell off when it got back up, sending Tyler into a panic, running and screaming around the ring, until he finally passed out.

"Guess he lost," Chris said, shrugging.

"Guess he was just a giant chicken after all," Sadie said, looking disappointed.

"Who'd have guessed?" Justin asked.

"Idiots," Harold said, annoyed.

"Well, we only have one challenge left," Chris said, irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: Seriously, it's like those guys never saw a giant chicken in a human disguise before. (Harold shakes his head in a disapproving manner.)

* * *

"Come on, smile!" Katie exclaimed, lying in her bed, with Noah sitting on the edge. "Big smile, you can do it!"

"Don't like smiling," Noah said. "Takes too many unnecessary muscles to do so."

"You can do it!" Katie reached over and started tickling Noah. He laughed for a second before jumping to the floor, standing up.

"Please, I don't like that," Noah said. "You seem a lot better, so I could always go--"

"No, don't!" Katie exclaimed, flailing her arms. "I mean, ooh, I'm still in such pain, ooh."

"You're faking it," Noah said, smiling slightly.

"You're liking it," Katie said, smirking.

Noah smiled, taking out his calculus book. "Want to learn some calculus?"Katie stuck out her tongue. "Math sucks!"

"Maths can be fun," Noah said, smirking. "Why was six afraid of seven?"

"Because seven eight nine," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "Old."

"OK, maybe maths isn't the world's most fun topic of conversation that ever existed, but it's important stuff to learn. People use maths every day."

"Not calculus, though," Katie said, grinning. "Hardly anyone uses calculus every day."

Noah shrugged. "I can't argue that." Noah then smirked. "But you can't argue that those few people who do use calculus every day make tons of money."

"Except calculus teachers," Katie said, smirking back.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Katie hates maths, but she's still a lot sharper than I thought she was. She's got a quick mind. Probably how she talks at those insane speeds.

* * *

Outside the medical tent, Lindsay had wrapped her arms around Eva, crying a little. "It's OK, Lindsay, really," Eva said, a little irritated, and a little guilty.

"Leshawna!" Chris exclaimed, surprising her as he popped up right behind her. "You have the final challenge of the day, and it's a good one!"

"And also unnecessary," Izzy said, rushing back with Bridgette in tow. "Your team already won. Did Chris neglect to mention that part?" Izzy shot a glare at Chris.

"Yeah, he kinda' did," Leshawna said, smirking.

"Then how about we make it interesting," Chris said, grinning deviously. "If you can complete this challenge, I will award you and a friend with a relaxing spa date. You'll be sent out of town, to the finest spa available, pampered perfectly, having the time of your lives. And a good time, for a change."

Leshawna smirked. "Bring it on!"

"We'll stay here with Lindsay, eh," Ezekiel said, smiling. Lindsay nodded, still with her arms wrapped around Eva's legs.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: My legs were falling asleep, but looking at Lindsay, trying so desperately to apologize for that comment that I don't wish to repeat, it was hard to get mad.

* * *

Chris led Leshawna, followed by Izzy and Bridgette, to a tank filled with spiders. "As you can see, Leshawna, this tank is filled with black widows. You must remain in that tank for one minute, and, if you survive, we have Chef on hand to give you the necessary shots."

"You can do this babe," Leshawna said to herself, nervous, climbing to the top. "You can do--wait. How am I going to get back out of here?"

"Izzy will pull you out after a minute is up!" Izzy exclaimed. "I'm not too fond of black widows myself. They're not very friendly. Tarantulas, now those guys are really sweet and friendly. Plus, they're not venomous, which is a plus, since the venom can really cut playtime short. One time, I sicced a pet tarantula on this tall girl who was shooting spitballs at me… or was that someone else? I get confused sometimes."

"Thanks, Izzy," Leshawna said, smiling. "I knew we were cool."

"Um, no we're not," Izzy said, irritated. "Just because I don't want you to die doesn't mean we're cool. I know what you did. Uh-huh. Yeah." Leshawna looked guilty.

"Long as it's not me, I don't really care who gets you out," Chris said, irritated. "And if you're ready, go!"

Leshawna jumped into the tank, squashing quite a few, but also getting a few bites, before looking in fairly bad shape. Izzy pulled Leshawna out after a minute, carrying her over to Chef to give her some shots.

"Ooh, ooh!" Izzy exclaimed. "Can I get some shots, too?"

"Did you get bit?" Chef asked.

"I don't think so, but I'm really in a shot kind of mood!" Izzy turned around and pulled down her pants. "I'd like it in the butt, Bob."

"Put your pants back on," Chef grumbled, as he was taking care of Leshawna.

"And Leshawna, you have won those tickets to that spa!" Chris exclaimed. "Now who would you like to relax with?"

"Can I give my ticket to someone else?" Leshawna asked sweetly. Izzy looked at Leshawna suspiciously.

Chris shrugged. "I don't care, really."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: I really don't like what Leshawna's up to here… but it won't matter for long, anyway.

* * *

Leshawna walked into the medical tent, where Courtney was finally conscious, though still not too well.

"Courtney?" Leshawna asked. "You OK, girl?"

"Not really," Courtney said, weakly. "Eva threw me off that cliff into the concrete slab."

"It wasn't Eva. It was Justin."

"But I saw Eva!" Courtney shouted, then coughed.

"You need to keep calm, at least until you're better," Leshawna said, worried. "Do you remember blacking out at any time today?"

"Actually, when I walked out of the confessional… wait." Courtney said, contorting her face. "Why did I black out then?"

"Because Justin wanted to frame Eva."

"Wait. Why would I trust you?" Courtney asked, glaring at Leshawna.

"Look, I know I've done some bad things, and I'm sorry, OK?" Leshawna pleaded.

"Why should I trust you now, though?" Courtney asked, narrowing her eyes.

"You shouldn't," Leshawna said, looking down. "I hope I can earn that back. But I thought you and Lindsay could use a vacation." Leshawna took out two tickets. "Two tickets to what I hear is one hell of a spa trip!"

Courtney's eyes grew wide for a second, before shaking herself out of it, and resumed glaring. "I still don't like you."

"I deserve that. Still doesn't mean you and Lindsay can't have a nice trip."

"I guess," Courtney said, confused. "This isn't going to bring Heather back, though."

"No one wants her back," Leshawna said, irritated. "Heather's the whole reason we started fighting."

"Um, no, that was you," Courtney said, irritated. "You were being a bully."

"She started it!" Leshawna shouted, then calmed down. "OK, I'm trying not to lose it now. It's frustrating, though, how you can be so intelligent, yet so gullible."

"I could say the same," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.

Leshawna slapped her face, then handed Courtney a ticket. "You'll take good care of Lindsay, right?"

"Of course," Courtney stated, smiling at the ticket.

"Get better," Leshawna said, smiling as she left the tent, then turned to give Lindsay her ticket.

"What's this?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I wasn't speeding, was I?"

"No, that's for a spa trip to what I understand to be the greatest spa around," Leshawna said, smiling. "I won that for you and Courtney to go on together."

"Really?" Lindsay asked, then narrowed her eyes. "You're not trying to suck up again, are you?"

Leshawna looked guilty. "Look, I just really feel bad, what I did to you and Courtney, and I know you two are close, and would enjoy this trip together."

Lindsay looked confused, but eventually spoke. "Thank you."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I know it looked like I was trying to bribe them to come to my side, and maybe I was… but I really was feelin' bad, you know? I was really mean, and I thought this would be something nice I could do for them. Maybe everything was gonna' be all right.

* * *

It was now nighttime at the camp. "Attention campers!" Izzy shouted, through the loudspeaker system at the campground. "I would like everyone to report to the amphitheater for a very special presentation!"

Izzy was standing on the stage, grinning deviously, with a large monitor behind her, as the contestants, minus Courtney and Lindsay, gathered into the bleachers. Chris himself walked onto the stage, angry.

"I'm the only one allowed to use the loudspeaker!" Chris shouted.

"You don't have a say in it," Izzy calmly stated, taking out her contract. Chris, angry, took it from her and ripped it up. "Tsk, tsk," Izzy said, shaking her head. "You of all people should know about all the copies lawyers make." Izzy pulled out a dozen more copies of the contract, and threw them at Chris, knocking him down. "I know that some of you guys still despise Heather."

"She hurt Gwen, and she deserves to pay for that!" Cody yelled.

Eva, sitting beside him, looked content. "Can't argue with that." She punched him in the arm, a little too hard again, knocking Cody over. Eva blushed a little.

"She's really mean, eh?" Ezekiel said. "Not nice like Bridgette." Bridgette, sitting next to him, blushed.

"I don't really care," Noah said. "Doesn't affect me either way."

"Noah!" Katie shouted slapping him. "She was really, really, really mean to everyone! And she's still really, really, really mean to everyone! Did you forget that?"

"But Heather's nice now," Sadie said, looking confused.

"Duh, she lied," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"Silence!" Izzy shouted. "I think some of you would like to see this."

Izzy turned the video on, and a five-year-old Chris was pushing other kids off the edge from the top of a slide, then crying when the kids grouped together to push Chris off. Five-year-old Chris yelled at them threatening to sue. The contestants were all laughing, though.

"That was a private home video!" Chris shouted, irritated. "What was that for?!"

"I don't really like you," Izzy stated flatly. "OK, guys, this is the real video I wanted you all to see. Enjoy!"

The video showed Courtney falling into the hole, Leshawna's monologue about spreading Gwen's diary around to frame Heather, and Chris' involvement in the whole thing. Most of the contestants looked in shock, and they all glared at Leshawna after the video ended. Chris looked nervous, but then relieved when he noticed the attention was on Leshawna instead of him, and he quietly snuck off. Leshawna was sinking in her seat, wishing she were invisible.

"What was that?" Harold asked, angry.

Leshawna gulped. "I can explain."

"How could you do that to Gwen?!" Trent shouted, angry. "Gwen didn't deserve that!"

"Leshawna!" Sadie shouted, crying. "How could you do that?"

"Told you she wasn't that nice," Katie said, irritated.

"I knew that last season," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"I trusted you," Harold said, hanging his head.

"You can still trust me, honey," Leshawna said, nervous.

"Why did you do it?" Harold asked. "How could you betray your best friend like that?"

"And Courtney and Lindsay," Katie said, annoyed.

"Lindsay?" Trent asked, confused.

"Lindsay was a victim, too," Katie said. "Just not on the tape."

Leshawna was wiping sweat from her forehead. "Look guys, I know it looks bad, but I had the best of intentions, I swear, y'all."

"And what intentions would those be?" Harold asked, irritated.

Leshawna looked down. "I did it for Gwen."

"That doesn't make any sense," Cody said, scratching his head.

"Look! I know spreading that page around the camp really hurt Gwen, but I did it to protect her."

"That's like the worst job of protecting someone ever," Trent said, angry.

"But you guys know Heather, right? Mean girl, torments Gwen constantly?"

"We know who Heather is," Cody said, annoyed. "What's your point?"

"Well, ya' know how mean Heather was to Gwen, specifically, so I needed to get rid of her so that she couldn't hurt my home girl again!"

"She's not really your home girl," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, look," Leshawna pleaded, "Heather was starting to rope people in again. And she was good this year, tricking Courtney into her alliance--"

"Friendship!" Bridgette shouted. "It's called friendship!"

"Point is, Courtney was falling into Heather's trap, and other people started falling for her lies as well. Lindsay, Bridgette, Harold--"

"I didn't fall for anything," Harold said indignantly. "Heather's not the same girl she was last year."

"Even Gwen noticed she had changed," Bridgette said.

"No she didn't!" Leshawna shouted. "Gwen knew that girl couldn't be trusted, and she knew how awful that girl was!"

"She also didn't want you to throw Heather into that vomit back with that so-called challenge," Bridgette said, irritated. "Somewhere deep down, she realized."

"So she was tricking Gwen too!" Leshawna shouted. "That only made her more dangerous!"

"What about second chances?" Bridgette said, angry. "Why didn't Heather deserve a second chance?"

"Girls like her don't change!" Leshawna shouted, angry.

"If girls like her don't change, does that mean we should never forgive you?" Bridgette asked, smirking.

"What is **that **supposed to mean?!"

"It means you've become Heather!" Bridgette shouted. "I mean, old Heather, anyway."

"I'm nothing like that monster!"

"You're right. You're worse," Bridgette said, with venom in her voice. "Tormenting Heather, voting off Izzy, exposing Gwen's diary to the world, injuring Courtney and Lindsay… I'd say you're worse!"

"But I did all that for Gwen!" Leshawna shouted, irate. "Heather only did anything for herself!"

"How did tormenting Heather help Gwen?" Bridgette screamed, turning red. "How did embarrassing Gwen help her? And oh, I'd **so **love to know how breaking Courtney's leg could have helped her in any way whatsoever!"

"Enough!" Leshawna screamed, lunging toward Bridgette, as Eva rushed to get between them, punching Leshawna to the ground.

"And people say I need anger management," Eva said, smiling triumphantly. "You're not hurting Bridgette. In fact, last year, I even remember you protecting her from me." Eva shook her head.

"Thank you," Bridgette said, hugging Eva.

"Izzy!" Leshawna screamed, seething with rage as she looked at the stage, where Izzy was grinning. "You did this to me!"

"Um, hello, no, you did this to you," Izzy said, irritated. "Though, you know, you having me voted off was the best thing you could've done for me. Turns out it really helped me solve this whole case. Just the opposite of what you were hoping for, huh?" Izzy glared at Leshawna. "How did you get so many people to vote for me, anyway? That's the one question I still haven't figured out, except Harold said something that indicated that you told them something about me."

"I guess that was a lie too," Harold said, looking down.

"Mind telling Izzy this lie," Izzy said, irritated. "Izzy promises not to take her anger out on you."

Harold gulped. "Leshawna said that you were threatening to steal Trent away, and lock him in your basement, and she said that you told Gwen that she didn't treat him right, and didn't deserve a boyfriend at all."

Izzy rubbed her chin. "Well, I did have a boyfriend locked in my basement for a while, but he was single at the time, I swear! Izzy would never hurt Gwen or anyone else by trying to steal their boyfriends!"

Bridgette raised an eyebrow. "But you would try to hook up guys with girls who already have boyfriends."

Izzy scoffed. "That's different. Stealing boyfriends is selfish. Hooking people up is selfless. Izzy loves being selfless sometimes!"

"Does anyone know which team won?" Trent asked. "I don't remember hearing Chris officially announce the winner."

"Oh ya', that," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "The Screaming Pansies won. Killer Not-Saying-Its, you're going to have to vote someone off tonight."

"Eva," Sadie said, angry.

"Wait, why Eva?" Katie asked, confused.

"She tried to kill Courtney today."

"That's a lie!" Eva screamed.

"Nuh-uh, it's totally true," Sadie said, irritated. "Everyone saw it!"

"I was framed!"

"Like anyone would do that," Sadie said. She was then smacked by Katie. "What was that for?"

"Haven't you learned anything from all of this?" Katie shouted. "Everyone's framing everyone nowadays, it seems like."

"But Eva's mean!"

"She's not really that mean," Katie said. "Why just today, she was… wait. Eva, would you get upset if I talked about that?"

"Yes," Eva stated. "Thank you for remembering before you started rambling off, though."

"I'm trying to get better about that," Katie said, smiling. Noah knowingly smirked.

"Guys, we didn't really give Eva much of a chance last year," Bridgette said, looking down. "I mean, yeah, she lost her temper when Heather stole her Zune--"

"What's a Zune?" Sadie asked.

"Her mp3 player," Bridgette said, irritated. "She lost her temper, then she apologized, and no one was willing to give her another chance. I feel bad about that."

"Thank you," Eva said. "I didn't really give you another chance either, though, after I came back. I'm not innocent, either."

"I think you should vote off Justin," Cody said, angry.

"Wait, whoa, whoa, why me?" Justin asked, irritated. "I mean, girls, look!" Justin ripped off his shirt, and all the girls stared, though Bridgette quickly got out of her trance.

"We're not falling for that," Bridgette said, irritated.

"But Eva tried to kill Courtney, remember?" Justin asked. "I didn't do anything that deserves getting voted off for."

"That stunt with Lindsay?!" Bridgette screamed, lunging for Justin, being held back by Eva.

"He's not worth it," Eva stated.

"Or what you did to Beth!" Cody shouted, angry.

"That was part of the challenge. I had to do it, or we'd lose," Justin said.

"You **did **lose!" Cody screamed. "And what about trying to frame Eva for killing Courtney? Shooting tranquilizer darts at them, and at me, so you could save your own butt by trying to turn everyone against Eva?!" Cody took out a videotape.

Justin's eyes grew wide. "Where did you get that tape? Give me that tape!"

"Why would I give it to you?" Cody asked, angry.

"The world can't see that!" Justin yelled, chasing desperately after Cody to grab the tape away.

"You sure are putting a lot off effort into stealing a blank tape away from me," Cody said, smirking behind him.

"Wait," Justin said, confused. "Blank tape?"

"Yeah," Cody said, smirking. "I'm not Izzy. I don't know how to get that sort of footage. My, how desperate you were to get this tape from me, though. Almost like you just confirmed Eva's theory on exactly how things went down."

Justin slapped his face, then growled as he lunged toward Cody. Eva rushed between them, and knocked Justin's lights out.

"You're welcome," Eva said.

"So, since you just saved me--" Cody started, smiling innocently.

"No. People are watching," Eva said, smiling slightly.

"That's cool with the Codemeister," Cody said, giving a thumbs up. Eva rolled her eyes.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Justin: Eva's a psycho! She tried to kill Courtney, and she just tried to kill me, for no reason! You all saw it!

Noah: Goodbye "anti-me"… I don't get it. A legion of online fans have been wanting me to call Justin that, for some reason, but I don't really get it.

Eva: Death is too good for you, Justin!

* * *

"Campers," Chris said, ominously, as the six Killer Chrises were sitting on their tree stumps, "there are six of you, but only five marshmallows on this plate. When I call your name, please come up to collect your marshmallow. The one of you who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers, where you can never come back. **Ever**.

"Bridgette."

"Noah."

"Katie and Sadie."

Only Justin and Eva were left. Justin was looking confident, while Eva was obviously very nervous. Chris tapped his chin as he drew out the suspense before calling out the final name.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Eva."

Eva looked relieved as she walked up to collect her marshmallow, but Justin was irate. "That's impossible! I mean, look at me! Then look at her! It's like a real-life _The Hottie and the Nottie!"_

"That was one of the worst movies I've ever seen the trailer for," Noah said, irritated.

"Are you calling me ugly to my face?!" Eva bellowed, right in Justin's face.

"Yes! Yes I am! Aside from Beth, you're the most hideous girl here! Why do you think no one liked you last year? Temper shmemper, no one likes an ugly muscle-bound girl with a stupid unibrow! And what are you going to do about it, Miss Worthless-Excuse-for-a-Mutant-That-No-One-Likes?!"

Eva looked like she was about to beat Justin up, but instead ran off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: (shaking her head) OK, that was a pathetic display on my part. It also really hurt though. (Eva looked down, and shed a tear.)

* * *

"You'd better watch your back, Noah," Justin said, smirking. "You just made the biggest mistake of your life. Only guy left on a team full of girls… who do you think they're gonna' target next?" Justin casually walked over to climb into the Boat of Losers. "Adios, losers."

"You know, I agree with him," Chris said, irritated. "It's really not fair that he got voted off. I'm sure Eva's just jealous of his looks. That has to be it."

"Shut up, Chris," Bridgette said, raising a fist.

"Touchy." Chris composed himself before continuing. "Anyway, today marks a sad day in _Total Drama Chris: _Hottie McHottie himself, Justin, was unfairly voted off, just to save an ugly little wretch. Or in Eva's case, an ugly big wretch, ha ha!"

"That wasn't funny," Bridgette said, glaring at Chris.

Chris glared back. "Yes, it was funny." Chris then resumed smiling for the camera. "But what will happen next? The Killer Chrises have obviously settled back into their losing ways. Will they keep that up, or can they finally win again? And what is going on with Leshawna? Can everyone else forgive her, or are they going to hold this grudge forever? And really, why Justin? He was cool, and hot… I don't understand why they voted him off. Stupid lousy kids… but find out these answers, and more, as well as what will surely be one hell of a campfire ceremony that's going to be even more dramatic than tonight's, next time on _Total Drama_--" Bridgette, Katie, and Sadie tackled Chris down before he could finish.

"Eva!" Bridgette exclaimed, smirking at the host beneath her.

"That's really annoying when you guys do that," Chris grumbled.

"We don't really care what you think," Katie said nonchalantly.

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Justin  
Eva: Justin  
Justin: Eva  
Katie: Justin  
Noah: Justin  
Sadie: Justin

Justin: 5  
Eva: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Heather, Gwen, Justin

Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Eva, Katie, Noah, Sadie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Tyler, Trent

* * *

And Justin is gone, slightly earlier than originally intended. He's done his thing, but he wasn't really going much of anywhere. I know he has **a **big fan out there, but I never got the impression he had too big a fan base. I'm not really a part of it, anyway. I found him fairly tough to write for, really.

Unintentionally on my part, but still interesting to me, anyway, the Killer Chrises now almost entirely consist of people who didn't make it into _Total Drama Action. _For that matter, even Bridgette was only on for a couple of episodes.


	18. Day 9, Part 1: Leshawna the Dead

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 18: Day 9: Part 1: Leshawna the Dead**

"They're nuts," Justin said, angry, as he was riding the Boat of Losers to the Playa' des Losers. "Voting me off! Me! I was their strongest player! They're going to be sorry they voted me off. There probably won't even be a merger. They'll just all be eliminated before the merger, I bet."

As the boat was nearing the Playa' des Losers, Heather was waiting on the dock, fuming. Justin casually stepped off the boat as it docked, and Heather started rushing toward him, desperately though unsuccessfully trying to push him into the lake.

"You are scum!" Heather screamed, slapping Justin and still trying to push him into the lake. Justin, getting annoyed, eventually pushed Heather herself in. "You are so dead!"

"Look, I already lost," Justin said, irritated, then smirked. "For now. I'll be back."

"Uh, no, you won't," Heather stated, glaring at Justin from the lake.

Justin stood looking back, confident. "Chris'll bring someone back. Everyone knows it. And who's he going to choose other than someone who's brought so much drama to this sad little show?"

"What you did to Lindsay. Beth. Courtney--we all saw that, you know."

"Don't really care," Justin said, shrugging. "All I care is for the inevitable day that Chris invites me back to the show, after he decides I can bring back a little more drama." Justin paused to think for a moment. "Since when did you ever care about Lindsay and Beth, or anyone, anyway?"

"That is none of your business," Heather shot, climbing back out of the water, and walked up to Justin's face. "I'm watching you, and you aren't going to get away with anything."

"I'm so scared," Justin said, rolling his eyes, as Heather started walking back into the resort. Justin followed, though met up with Geoff, DJ, and Duncan near the entrance.

"That really wasn't cool what you did," DJ said, crossing his arms across his chest, irritated. "Do you even care about what you did to poor Beth?"

"No, I don't," Justin answered, irritated. "Now I would like to get to my room now, if you don't mind." Justin started walking off, but Duncan pushed him back.

"Yeah, we do mind," Duncan said, irritated. "We don't really like your kind. The guys I know back in juvie would have a field day with you, which is where you really belong you sick twisted f--"

"Don't really care what you think," Justin interrupted, angry, as Heather snuck past everyone else to get into the resort. "Editing is going to make me look like the victim."

"No it won't," Duncan said. "Can't edit that much."

"Oh, you'd be surprised," Justin said, grinning deviously. "I have certain connections in this industry. Getting it to look like Eva tried to kill Courtney would be easy enough. The whole thing with Beth, a little editing and suddenly she's this crazy stalker girl. And Lindsay? I'm just the victim of an overly promiscuous girl trying to have her way with me." Duncan threw a punch, but Justin caught it, and started crushing his hand, leaving Duncan in notable pain. "For such a supposedly tough guy, you hit like a marshmallow. Sad really. At least Courtney can protect you from the big bad boogeyman." Duncan threw another punch, and hit Justin's nose this time. Justin started freaking out, and running off.

"What's his deal, anyway?" Geoff asked, confused.

Meanwhile, Beth had been in her room, sitting on her bed, sulking alone, not wanting to be around Justin, until someone knocked on her door.

"Who is it?" Beth asked.

"It's me, Heather," Heather said sweetly.

"Go away!" Heather walked into the room anyway, and sat on the other side of the bed. "Which part of 'go away' didn't you understand?"

Heather sighed. "Look, Beth, I really regret how I treated you last year. That was cruel, and I'm ashamed of that."

"I'm so sure," Beth said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not falling for anything ever again! I can't believe how many people have been tricked by you so far this year."

"It's not a trick," Heather said, shaking her head, then let out a smile. "You're getting a little more confidence in yourself, at least."

Beth looked confused. "What do you mean? I've always been confident."

"You haven't," Heather said, looking down. "You were so desperate to be popular last year, you were willing to do anything for it. I mean, until you realized I was bad to you. I wish I'd realized that."

"What are you talking about?" Heather sighed, then took out a picture. Beth looked confused. "Is that your sister?"

"It's me," Heather said, looking ashamed. "It's from a few years ago, before I was popular."

"Well, you look prettier now," Beth said, smiling. "Except that you don't have hair."

"Yeah," Heather said, looking blankly ahead. "It came at a price. I was desperate to be popular, and I was willing to do anything for it, even if it meant being a flunky for Heather, the most popular girl in school."

"Heather?" Beth asked, confused.

"Same name," Heather said. "Not that important. Anyway, she only let me and my friend Jewel hang out because we were so desperate that we would do anything she wanted, no matter who it hurt. And I was so desperate that I did just that."

"You were a flunky?" Beth asked. "But I thought you ruled the school."

"I did later on. I had to fight and claw my way to the top. Making myself over really helped in that, though, as well as a pregnancy scare Heather--the other Heather had. Before I knew it, I was the top dog, and I had an entire school catering to my every whim. And those who didn't were dealt with severely."

"So what made you change back?"

"Remember how easily I was able to take that other Heather down? Well, it turned out my loyal friend Jewel was eyeing my spot at the top, and after the entire world saw how cruel I was to you guys last year... well, it was easy for her, too. And I was more hated than ever. Everyone--**everyone **treated me like some sort of disease. It was miserable."

Heather started crying, and Beth was coming close as well. "I'm sorry, Heather." Beth looked down. "I really am that gullible."

Heather looked up, surprised. "Huh?"

"I was so determined to stay mad at not fall for you trying to trick me again, I didn't even think you might have been telling the truth."

"It's understandable," Heather said, smiling. "I don't want you to ever become the way I was, but you could use a confidence boost. Maybe a makeover?"

"I'm happy with how I look, though," Beth said, smiling.

"Wouldn't you like to show Justin what he could have had, though," Heather said, smirking.

"Not really. I don't really want to have anything to do with Justin."

"What about Cody?" Heather asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"What about Cody?" Beth asked back, confused.

"He's got a bit of a crush, you know."

"Really?" Beth looked surprised, but happy. "I never noticed that."

"Oh, he does," Heather said, smiling. "Are you interested?"

"I don't know," Beth said, twiddling her fingers. "I'm kinda', well, boring and quiet. And he likes Gwen."

"He got over Gwen," Heather said, switching to the other side of the bed, putting an arm around Beth. "Really, he likes you. Not to jinx him, but if he should ever be kicked off and comes over here, you should go up and talk to him. Make conversation. Flatter him."

"You really think I should?" Beth asked, nervous.

"Positive," Heather said, smiling. "You don't have to rush into things, but you do need to talk to him as soon as you can. After all, you could always get some competition if you don't grab for it."

"Competition?" Beth asked, worried. "But I don't want to fight over Cody."

"Well, not physical, at least I hope," Heather said, nervous. "It's just that if you don't stake your claim on Cody, someone else might, so you should definitely make your mark."

Beth smiled. "If Cody gets voted off, can you help me prepare?"

Heather smiled brightly. "Yes!"

* * *

Lindsay and Courtney were at the spa, soaking in a mud bath, getting facials, relaxing. Or in Courtney's case, trying to.

"I hope Leshawna doesn't think we're going to be all buddy-buddy now," Courtney said. "This doesn't exactly change what she did, and she **still **thinks what she did to Heather was right."

"Lefawnda's trying to be nice," Lindsay said, completely relaxed. "She was trying to help Gabby, and it kinda' got out of control."

"I still don't really understand how hurting Gwen like that was supposed to help her," Courtney said, confused.

"She was worried that Heather was going to hurt again this year," Lindsay said, sad. "Instead, Lequisha hurt Gertrude. I don't really get all the details, but that's sorta' what happened. Part of me is really, really angry that she did that, but part of me also feels sad for her."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Courtney said. "The part that's angry is right." Courtney and Lindsay were relaxing for a while before Courtney spoke up again. "Thank you Lindsay."

"What for?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Just being there for me this year, supporting me, and helping me relax. Though I still have trouble with the relaxing part. I still don't really get why you even tried getting closer to me this year, but I'm glad you did."

"We needed each other," Lindsay said, happy. "You were cranky and no one really liked you much, I was--let's face it--a dumb blonde, and we were good to rub off on each other."

"I still don't get how you ever thought of such in the first place, though," Courtney said, confused. "I mean... well, like you said."

"I notice things," Lindsay said. "For some reason, I have trouble learning anything, no matter how much my tutors try to learn me stuff, but I can recognize a clothing line and a knockoff from a mile away, and I know when someone needs help." Lindsay paused for a moment. "You know, I should buy this show."

"Buy the show?" Courtney asked, confused. "And you would host it?"

"No, silly," Lindsay said, giggling a bit. "I'd make a beautiful model, maybe, but hosting isn't a strength of mine."

"More beautiful than Chef," Courtney said, giggling. "Besides, you'd be a better host than Chris."

"Well, everyone would be a better host than Kyle," Lindsay said, giggling more. "I really don't like him."

"I don't think anyone likes him," Courtney said. "I'm pretty sure his own parents must hate him."

"I think the Devil would be quite happy with how his son turned out," Lindsay said, laughing out loud.

"I think we should settle down," Courtney said. "Don't want to ruin our facials, after all."

"Oh yeah," Lindsay said shyly. "Do you know what they're serving for dinner?"

"Courtney? Lindsay? You two are looking fabulous!" a voice exclaimed.

Courtney and Lindsay looked up to see a short girl with short blonde hair, tanned skin, a baby blue short-sleeved shirt with belly button exposed, dark red capri pants, and black heels. "Do we know you?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Oh, I'm just a fan," the girl said. "I actually know Heather IRL. I'm Jewel. She must have talked about me."

"I've never heard of you," Courtney said, confused.

"Neither have I," Lindsay said, looking at the girl suspiciously.

"Really," Jewel said, not caring much. "Well, I'm her best friend IRL, and there's some stuff you might want to know." Jewel sighed. "She's been taking you two in for fools."

"Really?" Courtney asked, suspiciously.

"All year, she's been gloating on and on about how she was going to pretend to change this year to fool all of you dweebs and win the mil. Good thing Leshawna didn't fall for it, though. You really should be grateful to her."

"That doesn't sound right," Lindsay said, glaring at the girl.

"She was planning something really horrible, and knowing how determined she can be, she might still do it," Jewel said, worried. "I'm only looking out for you guys. Heather's planning to--"

"Missy!" a police officer shouted. "This is a private business, and you're trespassing! You're coming along with me!"

"But I have to warn them!" Jewel shouted, as the police officer cuffed her, and dragged her out.

"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say," the officer said, then paused. "Actually, you're the first I've heard with that one, but still! You're coming with me."

Lindsay and Courtney stared at the door for several seconds, then at each other.

"Do you think any of that was true?" Courtney asked, worried.

"No," Lindsay stated flatly. "She's a liar."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Courtney said, though still looked worried.

* * *

Chris was standing behind a barricade, as one of the two bombs was counting down, then made a huge explosion. "Just wanted to prove that those things were, indeed, the real deal." Chris stood up, dusted himself off, and started making bizarre gestures as he spoke. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _our campers had to face their fears. Plus a lot of other crap we randomly attached to their fears to make the challenges harder. Once again, Courtney was a big chicken who couldn't even face a teensy weensy fear of green jelly, though she wound up getting credit for it anyway when Eva, in a fit of rage--what else is new, it's Eva after all--threw her down from the cliff, nearly killing her. Fortunately, these teens are resilient. Speaking of chickens, everyone 'booed' when Tyler lost a fight to a giant chicken. Lindsay faced her fear of walking through a minefield in high heels, Owen faced his fear of flying, and also found good reason to be afraid after he crashed, and Harold successfully fought off a really stupid gang of ninjas. Seriously, one at a time? Come on!"

Chris had walked over to the amphitheater. "It was all enough for the Screaming Pansies to win once again, and while it looked like Eva would get the boot for that stunt with Courtney, and while I was personally rooting against Katie, it was poor, innocent Justin, being picked on for no reason other than all the other campers being intimidated by his looks." Chris shook his head. "Really sad how superficial teenagers can be, but them's the kicks. Also, Izzy decided to frame Leshawna for spreading Gwen's diary page around, even though we all **know **Heather did it."

"Would you stop that, already?" Izzy said, peeking from behind the curtain, annoyed. "Everyone already knows the truth. You can stop pretending that Leshawna's innocent."

"Heather did it because Heather's evil, and all the home viewers know that!" Chris shouted. "They're not going to fall for your double talk, Izzy."

"We'll see," Izzy said, glaring at Chris, before going back behind the curtain.

"And would you stop doing that? Really, just stay at the Playa' des Losers already! Geez!" Chris was rubbing his forehead, then continued, angry. "So who's going home tonight? Katie. It'll be undramatic and all, but I don't care, because you'll watch anyway, coming up now on _Total Drama Chris."_ Chris continued rubbing his forehead. "I want to do a second take on that later."

* * *

Eva was nervously walking around the campground, looking around, as Cody walked up to her.

"Hey, beautiful," Cody said, smiling.

"**Would you stop**--oh, hey," Eva said, calming down after seeing Cody, then looked down. "Look, Cody... I think we went a little fast."

Cody looked down. "I guess I understand. I'm used to rejection."

Eva raised an eyebrow. "I don't remember saying I was rejecting you."

Cody looked confused. "But you said--"

"I said we were going too fast," Eva said, rubbing the back of her neck. "The thought of dying kind of made me a bit... well," Eva said, looking nervous. "I like you, though. I just wanted to go a little slower. Don't really want all the guys back at my gym calling me a slut. Last thing I want."

"So you're not dumping me?" Cody asked, hopeful.

"No," Eva said, smiling slightly. "Just want to take things slower."

"That's cool," Cody said, smiling. "I'm down with that."

Eva sighed. "I'm pretty much screwed if my team loses again."

"Really?" Cody asked. "Why do you think that?"

"It's just me, Bridgette, Noah, Katie and Sadie. I'm going to be next."

"Maybe not," Cody said, smiling.

"I am," Eva said, looking down. "Katie and Sadie are going to vote together, and Katie's going to rope Noah into voting with them. And between me and Bridgette, it's pretty obvious who they'd rather have stick around." Eva smiled a bit. "Really, though, Bridgette deserves to stay. Wish we could team up and go to the final two together, but really, as soon as I'm gone, if my team loses again, they're going to get rid of her."

Cody looked down. "I was kind of hoping I could be in the final two."

Eva looked down, embarrassed. "I forgot about that. You or Bridgette would be good." Eva paused for a moment, looking worried. "Anyway, have you seen my mp3 player? I can't find it anywhere, and I'm trying not to blow up at anyone about it this year."

"I haven't seen it, but I can help you look," Cody said, still smiling.

"And I promise I'll find someone else to take it out on if I lose my temper."

"Hey guys," Leshawna said, smiling nervously as she approached Cody and Eva.

"She'd be a good pick," Cody said, irritated.

"You stole my mp3 player, didn't you?!" Eva shouted, looking angrily toward Leshawna.

"What? No!" Leshawna shouted. "Why would I steal your mp3 player?"

"I don't know, revenge?!" Eva shouted, very angry, making a fist. "Angry that I didn't hurt Courtney enough in your little plot? I don't really like being used in other people's revenge plots!"

"I didn't take your mp3 player, and I don't know who did, OK?!" Leshawna shot back. "Really, temper much?"

"You're kidding!" Eva shouted. "You're calling me out on my temper? **You?!**" Eva then turned to Cody. "You may want to leave now. Things may get ugly, and between me and her... you really don't want to be here." Cody nodded and walked away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I really wanted Eva to get her good. I mean, Leshawna hurt the most beautiful, most wonderful, most perfect girl here. Gwen. (Cody paused, looking nervously into the camera.) I mean, next to Eva! (Cody looks down.) I'm pretty much dead, aren't I?

* * *

"I help people!" Leshawna shouted. "I look out for the little guy!"

Eva scoffed. "Used to, maybe."

"Come on," Leshawna said, worried. "You hate Heather, I hate Heather... we both hate Heather! You should be glad that I got rid of her!"

"By hurting Gwen," Eva said, angry. "Was that really the only way you thought you could get rid of her?!"

"Well... she was already starting to trick everyone into believing she'd changed!" Leshawna shouted, nervous.

Eva shook her head. "I thought you were smarter. That just reeks of desperation. Could've just told everyone to vote off Heather when you guys lost that costume challenge. They'd have done it. Lot less complicated, and you'd still have friends."

Leshawna slapped her face. "That girl was still foolin' people into believing she was a victim, though! I wanted to open Courtney's and Lindsay's eyes to the real Heather."

"That sure worked," Eva stated flatly. "Should've just voted her off after the costume challenge." Eva looked around nervously. "Sure you haven't seen my mp3 player?"

"Sorry, girl," Leshawna said, smiling. "I'll bring it back if I see it, though."

Eva smiled, and put a hand on Leshawna's shoulder. "Look, I like you. Don't really like that whole thing with Gwen, but I understand why you did it."

Leshawna looked down. "I don't really like that whole thing with Gwen either. Girl's gotta' be mad at me."

"You still need to apologize to some other people too, though."

"I am," Leshawna said, sad. "I won a trip to some nice spa, and I let Lindsay and Courtney go. Think they're still mad at me, though."

"Courtney doesn't let things go easily," Eva said. "Lindsay... I think you really hurt her. Still, it was a good start."

"Thank you!" Leshawna exclaimed, hugging Eva, who looked shocked. Leshawna then smirked. "Don't suppose you can threaten everyone to forgive me, huh?"

"No," Eva stated flatly. "Not putting my neck out like that. Already surprised I lasted this long, and I don't want to blow it. You're going to have to do it yourself."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: Really, it's nice to have actual friends this year. Sure, being strong is important, but that by itself didn't really get me too far last year. I'm still having trouble this year too, really. Bridgette and Cody are nice, but I think most of them are just waiting for me to blow up again. (Eva looks down.)

* * *

"I feel so let down," Sadie said, crying in Katie's lap, who was sitting with Noah in front of the cabins. "How could Leshawna do something so... so mean?" Katie looked worried as she rubbed Sadie's back.

"She hated Heather," Noah stated flatly. "Her thirst for revenge grew to such a level that she no longer concerned herself with others who may have gotten in the way, so long as she could taste the blood of her enemy on her hands."

"Huh?" Sadie asked, confused.

"Leshawna hated Heather so much that she forgot to look out for Gwen," Katie said, irritated. "I really can't believe she'd do something like that. I feel bad that I ever didn't like Gwen."

"And bad for Heather," Sadie said, still crying. "Heather got kicked off, and she didn't even do anything."

"She did enough last year for two seasons," Noah said.

"Heather totally would've hurt Gwen if Leshawna didn't beat her to the punch," Katie said. "Now I just hate both of them."

"She totally wouldn't have," Sadie said, irritated. "Heather changed, and you're just too stupid to realize it!"

"Nuh uh," Katie said. "She's the same person, and you're so gullible you're falling for it!"

"Really mature," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"You believe me, don't you?" Sadie asked, looking sweetly at Noah. "You're like the smartest guy in the world, so it's probably super obvious to you that Heather's changed."

Katie scoffed. "Yeah, right. Noah's my boyfriend, so he **has **to agree with me, even if he, like, doesn't agree with me! But he's also a super genius, so I'm sure it's obvious to him anyway that Heather's the evilest person on the planet."

"Would you believe that I really don't care," Noah said, irritated. "Don't really care about the whole shoulder angel versus shoulder devil argument. She treated me as poorly as anyone else on my team did last year, and I don't really remember you interacting with her, either."

"It's not about me and Sadie," Katie said, irritated. "She didn't treat anyone nice, really."

"And you're the shining beacon of selflessness," Noah said. "Then again, since everyone thought that of Leshawna last year, it's probably for the best."

"I think of other people," Katie said, nervous. "Like when I felt bad for Sadie when we weren't put on the same team last year. Or when I felt bad for Sadie when I was forced to leave the island. Or when I said I'd vote for Sadie to win last year."

"Aww," Sadie said, smiling. "You really do put others before yourself."

"How about people who aren't Sadie?" Noah asked.

"You're cute," Katie said, smiling seductively.

Noah smiled, then looked down. "I'm the one leaving if our team loses again, aren't I?"

"Huh?" Katie asked. "Why would you think that?"

Noah sighed. "It's pretty obvious the direction this team is headed. Namely, the all-female direction. All the girls teaming up to get rid of the lone male on the team. It's inevitable."

"Really, why would I want to vote you off?" Katie asked, irritated. "There's no chance of that, and there's no way I'd let Sadie for you off, isn't that right Sadie?" Sadie was off in her own little world, so Katie elbowed her. "I said isn't that right, Sadie?"

"Oh, yeah," Sadie said, smiling. "I couldn't vote you off, Noah! You make Katie happy, and I love to see Katie happy! Besides, Eva's kinda' scary."

"She's not that bad," Katie said. "Still, I obviously couldn't vote you two off, and Bridgette's so sweet, so... yeah. I don't know who I could vote off except for Eva." Katie looked sad. "I'd feel really bad about it, though."

"We could try winning for a change," Noah stated.

"So then we wouldn't have to vote Eva or anyone else off!" Katie exclaimed, then glomped Noah, who was in shock. "You're so smart!"

"And you two are so smart together!" Sadie exclaimed, beaming.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: I was starting to forget if either of them were the smart one.

* * *

"Hey guys," Leshawna said, nervous, as she was walking over toward the trio.

"What do **you **want?" Katie spat, glaring death at Leshawna.

"Yeah, what do you want?" Sadie repeated, angry.

"She wants to win back our trust, beg for forgiveness, tell us how she was so-called forced to do what she did, yada yada yada," Noah said, irritated.

"I thought you didn't care about any of that stuff," Katie asked, smiling.

"I don't care," Noah said. "Doesn't mean I don't notice everything going on."

"Look, can't you guys hear me out, please?" Leshawna asked, hopeful. "I know what I did to Gwen was wrong."

"Oh, I don't know," Noah said, rubbing his chin. "Sticking up for you, getting along with people she found irritating... yeah, she was just asking for it."

"I had a good reason!"

"Why not just wait until Heather actually did something," Katie said, irritated. "Wouldn't have been a long wait."

"Are you kidding?!" Leshawna shouted. "She was foolin' everyone left and right, even Sadie there!"

"She wasn't fooling anyone!" Sadie shouted. "She really, truly changed! I wish you guys would see that, but at least Katie didn't go around coming up with complicated plans to frame Heather for something she didn't do!"

"Um... thanks?" Katie asked, confused.

"Leshawna," Noah started, "ever think that maybe--just maybe, and I know this seems like a long shot, so just go with me on this--what if Heather **did **change?"

"Noah!" Katie shouted, upset.

"We all know that ain't never gonna' happen," Leshawna said. "People don't just change overnight! It's gotta' be a trap!"

"It's been a year," Noah said, almost sounding bored. "A lot of stuff can happen in a year."

"But she's been voted off, so I guess we'll never know for sure," Katie said, pretending to sound sad, but not hiding it well. "Such a shame, really."

"I tend to recall Chris bringing back Eva and Izzy last year after they were voted off," Noah said, smirking.

"Chris wouldn't do that!" Katie shouted. "I mean, I guess it would prove whether or not Heather was sincere, but Chris specifically said he meant it this time when he said no one could come back."

Noah shook his head. "And you honestly believe that."

Katie shrunk down. "No."

"Well don't worry," Leshawna said, smiling. "If Heather comes back, I'll be ready to deal with her."

"Except no one's going to be on your side either," Katie said, smirking. "Heather's gonna' have Lindsay, Courtney, Bridgette, Harold--"

"We get the point," Noah said, rubbing his forehead.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Oh crap, that's gonna' be bad if he brings Heather back. He wouldn't do that, though, would he? I mean, everyone loves Gwen and Duncan, right? Huge, huge fan base those two have. He'd rather bring back the audience favorites, you know, for ratings, right? Right?

Chris: (with his face in his hand) No one's coming back! I thought I made that point clear.  
Izzy: (popping out from the ceiling, landing in Chris' lap) Yeah they are! I read your outline for the show, honey!  
Chris: No you didn't! There is no outline for the show! And don't call me honey!  
Izzy: Let's see... you have some sort of fan fiction challenge ahead, a challenge planned that's a lame retread of that stuck in the wilderness challenge, you have--  
Chris: That challenge is so not going to be lame! (Izzy grins.) I mean, that's not going to be a challenge, period!

* * *

"Look," Leshawna said, looking down, "I'm really sorry I hurt Gwen, OK? I really didn't mean to do that."

"But you're the one who spread the diary all around!" Katie shouted. "What, you 'accidentally' happened to copy the page dozens of times, by hand, and then you just so happened to 'accidentally' drop the pages all over the campground, which you were surely about to use for some innocuous purpose?"

"You totally meant to do it," Sadie said, angry.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: (smirking) Yep. Katie's definitely the smart one.

* * *

"OK, OK," Leshawna said, frustrated. "I meant to do that, but I wanted to protect her from Heather. She'd have done it if I didn't!"

"No she wouldn't have!" Sadie shouted. "Really, give her another chance!"

"Or not. We really don't care if you want to give Heather another chance or not," Katie said, angry. "The better question is whether or not Gwen is going to give you another chance. Did you really think Gwen wasn't gonna' find out?"

"I... didn't think it through far enough ahead, I guess," Leshawna said, nervous. "Gwen's a good person. She's probably already forgave me."

"She holds grudges," Noah stated flatly. "Good luck with that."

"You hurt a lot of other people too, not just Gwen," Katie said, getting angrier. "Seriously, what the hell was up with you trying to turn everybody against Lindsay?!"

"She and Courtney were trying to expose me!" Leshawna shouted.

"How utterly selfless of you, trying to get them kicked off for trying to find the truth. Gotta' give you props," Noah stated.

"You guys don't hold grudges, though," Leshawna said sweetly. "You'd all forgive a sista' who made a mistake, right?"

"I don't like my sisters," Noah said, irritated. "They're not particularly nice people."

"Why are you even trying to ask us for forgiveness?" Katie asked, just as irritated. "Shouldn't you be trying harder to impress your own teammates? They're the ones who can vote you off, after all."

"She's right, you know," Sadie agreed.

"Look, I was just trying to get in good graces with everyone, OK?" Leshawna said, worried.

"Not working," Noah said, annoyed.

"I'm just trying to--"

"Don't want to hear it," Katie said. Katie and Sadie then turned their backs on Leshawna. Katie was tapping her foot for a few seconds, then turned around. "You too, Noah," she said, irritated. Noah complied.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Was it really that bad? I mean, no one's perfect, right? Whatever happened to "he who hasn't sinned cast the first stone"?

* * *

Harold was practicing something involving a yo-yo on the Dock of Shame, as Leshawna walked up to him, smiling. "Hey there, stud."

"What do you want?" Harold asked, not happy.

"I just wanted to see how my guy was doin'."

"I'm not your guy," Harold said, irritated. "I'm Heather's guy."

Leshawna chuckled. "OK, Heather's guy. I wanted to see how you was doin'."

Harold collapsed and started sobbing. "How could you?! What did Heather ever do to you?!"

"That could take all day, sugar."

"This year!" Harold shouted, still sobbing. "Why couldn't you just give her a second chance? It would've been so awesome if you two could've just got along."

"Couldn't happen," Leshawna said, slapping the air. "Heather's too evil to get along with."

"She changed," Harold said, looking down. "So did you."

"She didn't change," Leshawna said, rubbing her forehead. "Girls like that don't change."

"Have we learned nothing from _Heathers?"_

"No one learned nuthin' from her, hon."

"Not Heather Heather, the movie _Heathers. _Gosh!" Harold slapped his face. "Today's mean girl may be dead tomorrow, and tomorrow's mean girl may come to regret certain choices that day after tomorrow."

"You're makin' no sense, cutie."

"People like Heather are always trying to usurp that power from each other. If someone else took Heather down, it's possible she's learned a cold, hard truth."

"Oh, like in _Mean Girls."_

"If you will, yes," Harold stated. "Anything could have happened, and I suspect it has. Heather this year was not the Heather of last year. This year, she was a poor, broken soul, only hoping to make amends, and maybe even a friend. She was lonely, like me, but unlike me, she didn't handle it well. She needed a friend."

Leshawna started laughing. "You got some imagination. We're cool though, right?"

"No."

"Aww, but you said you wouldn't turn against me," Leshawna said, rubbing Harold's cheek.

Harold, annoyed, removed Leshawna's hand. "We all make mistakes. It was destined that I, too, would make one sooner or later."

"Come on, Harold," Leshawna pleaded, looking longly at Harold. "I'm lonely too."

Harold stared coldly back. "You dug your own grave. It's time you slept in it." Harold walked off, leaving Leshawna behind, who started to cry a little.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: (sobbing) Why?! Why?! Why must this happen?! I loved Leshawna. I know we weren't going out anymore, but still, apart from Heather, she was my best friend here. And she stabbed me in the back. I wanted to forgive her, and I feel awful that I'm unable to.

* * *

"Bridgette!" Leshawna shouted, as Bridgette was walking along the beach. Bridgette just stopped and looked away, angry, crossing her arms across her chest as Leshawna walked up to her, rubbing Bridgette's shoulders. "How's my home girl doin'?"

"Better, now that everyone knows the truth," Bridgette said, as she pushed Leshawna's hands off.

"But you're Bridgette!" Leshawna exclaimed, smiling. "You don't hold grudges! You're all for peace, love, and body surfing."

"And for not, well, doing things like that!" Bridgette shouted, turning around to face Leshawna. "First, how could you do that to Gwen?!"

Leshawna sighed. "Is everyone gonna' ask me that?"

"Well, maybe you need to listen! Do you even care that you hurt Gwen, or are you just trying to make up with everyone so they don't vote you off?!"

"I do care!" Leshawna shouted, exasperated. "Why do you think I dang did this in the first place?!"

"Petty revenge on Heather," Bridgette stated flatly. "Seriously, you should've given her another chance."

"She don't deserve one!" Leshawna screamed.

"And you do," Bridgette stated flatly. "Hypocritical much?"

"But she did horrible things to everybody!"

"So did you."

"But Heather really, really hurt my home girl!"

"So did you," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes. "I'm getting tired of this," Bridgette said, as she started walking away, angry.

"Please!" Leshawna shouted. "I'm really, really sorry! I really want to know what I can do to make it up to you guys."

Bridgette paused, then looked back, angry. "You can forgive Heather."

"What?!" Leshawna shouted, shocked. "Nuh uh, girl. She's--"

"Changed," Bridgette said, angry. "She begged, and pleaded, and wanted to know what she could do to make it up to you, and you didn't care!"

"No she didn't," Leshawna said, irritated. "She begged for forgiveness from everyone **except **me!"

"Can't imagine why," Bridgette said, as she continued walking away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: I knoo I'm out of the loop with current stuff, but I'm pretty sure Bridgette's in danger this week if her team loses, and I'd feel ooful if Bridgette got voted out. I mean, I'm pretty sure Katie, Sadie, and Noah aren't going to vote oot each other, and Eva's soo stroong. I can't let them voote off Bridgette, thoogh.

* * *

"Campers!" Chris exclaimed, as he was standing before the campers. Behind Chris were two large, empty plots of ground, with rusty fences surrounding each. "You're going to be grave diggers this week! Basically, whichever team digs the most graves wins. But remember, they have to be big enough to fit those caskets in over there." Chris pointed behind the campers, where there were several coffins laid out.

"How'd we miss those?" Noah asked.

"Wonder if Leshawna would fit in one," Cody said, glaring at Leshawna, who ducked down nervously.

"They're locked, so don't bother," Chris said, irritated. "Some of them are just filled with lots of dirt and garbage and stuff. Others are filled with bodies, though! Bodies that we've provided with a large supply of oxygen. Enough to last the challenge. I was against it, but our legal department tied my hands. I'd recommend burying the ones with bodies, since at nightfall, the ones that have not yet been buried will come out of those coffins and become the undead, interfering with your progress."

"Hey guys!" Izzy shouted, from the coffin area. "I'm in one of these, too! Rawr! This'll be fun!"

"You're still dead, Izzy," Chris said, irritated. "You have to wait until you're undead to start talking."

"Ooh, ya'," Izzy said. "I'll wait. Izzy has the patience of a doctor. You know, I actually filled in for a doctor before when he had a heart attack. He had me working on his patient who was also having a heart attack. For some reason, he insisted on having someone else work on him. Yeah. Go figure."

"Are you done yet?" Chris asked, annoyed. "Thank you."

"But I wasn't--"

"I said thank you!" Chris shouted. "Anyway, start digging!"

"Wait!" Katie shouted. "Don't we need shovels?"

"One of the caskets is unlocked," Chris said smugly. "In it are ten shovels. Of course, if your team finds the shovels, you don't necessarily have to give any of them to the other team, so better be quick!"

Instantly, the five Killer Chrises rushed over to check caskets, while on the other team, only Leshawna, Ezekiel, and Cody bothered.

"Aren't you guys gonna' help?" Leshawna called out to Harold, Tyler, Trent, and Owen.

"No," Harold stated, crossing his arms across his chest.

"You hurt Lindsay!" Tyler shouted.

"Why are you two helping, anyway?" Trent asked, irritated. "She hurt Gwen! Intentionally hurt Gwen!"

"We're teammates!" Leshawna exclaimed, looking over to Ezekiel and Cody. "Glad you two understand that."

"Do we?" Cody asked, glaring at Leshawna.

"Found them, eh!" Ezekiel exclaimed, taking out the shovels, and carrying them over to the other team, who were looking confused.

"Why are you giving us these?" Bridgette asked, as Ezekiel handed her a couple of shovels.

"I was wooried you'd be kicked oot if you lost," Ezekiel said, as he handed two shovels to the remaining Killer Chrises. "It woos oobvious that Katie, Sadie, and Noah were going to team up and voote you oof next, eh."

"Probably," Noah answered flatly.

"We don't need your pity," Eva stated, scowling.

"Boot we can't kick oof Leshawna if we don't lose," Ezekiel said. "We really woonted to kick her oof."

Eva sighed. "I still don't like this idea."

"She deserves it," Bridgette said, glaring at Leshawna. "Still can't believe she did that to my friends."

Eva shrugged. "Maybe I'd feel the same way if they were my friends, too."

"Oh, that's right," Bridgette said, looking sad. "You still don't really have too many friends here. When Lindsay and Courtney get back, you really ought to reach out to them. They're really nice." Bridgette then chuckled nervously. "Well, Lindsay is. But Courtney's nice too. She just needs to grow on ya'!" Bridgette gave Eva a light punch in the arm.

"How are we going to dig without shovels, though?!" Leshawna shouted, worried.

"We're not digging," Cody said, irritated. "We're throwing the challenge. For Gwen, of course. No other reason."

Eva growled, then walked over to Cody. "Could I speak with you privately for a minute?" Before Cody could answer, Eva dragged him a distance away before dropping him. "Don't do that."

"Wait," Cody said, confused. "Why not?"

"Leshawna doesn't deserve that," Eva said, irritated. "And frankly, I don't deserve to win like this. I don't want victory handed to me on a silver platter. I need to earn it!"

"Oh," Cody said, nervous. "But I don't have a shovel."

"I can't exactly give you one without earning the wrath of my team," Eva said. "Just use your arms. 'Bout time you put 'em to use." Eva picked up one of Cody's arms and chuckled for a moment.

"I guess," Cody said. "I'd feel awful if you got voted off, though."

"Look," Eva said, "I made it this far. If we lose seven out of nine challenges, I can hardly blame my team for seeing me as deadweight. Not like last year where I was unfairly voted off even after I apologized. And, well, Leshawna apologized too."

"But you just had one little temper tantrum," Cody said. "Leshawna tried to ruin a lot of lives here."

"That wasn't the first one," Eva said, embarrassed. "I had a few before that, too. They just edited out the others." Eva looked up confidently. "Leshawna deserves forgiveness too."

Cody looked down. "I really don't think I'm ready for that."

"You liked Gwen a lot, I know," Eva said. "But Leshawna's also one of the strongest players on your team, so please show a little respect and help her win. If you win, even without shovels, then I probably deserve to go tonight."

Cody smiled a bit. "OK. I'll do it."

"Thank you," Eva said. "I want to win this as fairly as I can. Can you get Bridgette over here?"

"Um, OK," Cody said. "Do you want me to come back?"

"No," Eva said. "Just help Leshawna win."

Cody walked over to Bridgette, who was already digging with Noah, Katie, and Sadie. "Eva wants to see you over there." Cody pointed over to where Eva was, and then he started helping Leshawna dig with his hands, getting Leshawna to smile slightly. Bridgette started to walk over to Eva, worried.

Eva shook her head. "I'm not going to kill you. I thought you knew me better than that by now."

"I know," Bridgette said. "I was worried you might be mad, though."

"I kind of am," Eva said. "More disappointed, though. Can't believe you approve of the other team throwing this challenge."

"Leshawna hurt everyone!" Bridgette shouted. "And I'm also really worried about losing. It's pretty obvious either you or I is going to go next, and that worries me. I really wouldn't have minded if we both made it to the final two. Or me and Courtney. Or me and Zeke. Or--"

"I get it, you have a lot of friends here," Eva said. "I don't. I really don't want to win like this, though. I want to win by my own might, not because the other team cheated to help me win." Eva looked sincerely to Bridgette. "And I really think you should give Leshawna another chance. Like you gave Heather."

"Maybe," Bridgette said, nervous. "But you really should give Heather another chance."

Eva cringed. "Don't see that happening."

"I know what she did, but it was a long time ago. Doesn't she deserve another chance, too?"

Eva shrugged. "I guess if you can try to forgive Leshawna, then I can try to forgive Heather. Even if she is a whole lot worse than Leshawna was."

"At least Heather never betrayed a friend," Bridgette said, then looked nervous. "I mean, Lindsay doesn't count, since they weren't really friends, I guess."

"It's OK. I know, Leshawna hurt your friends, and not mine, and it's a bit fresh in your mind," Eva said. "Just think about it, and tell Ezekiel to get to working. Leshawna could use the help."

"Should I give him a shovel?" Bridgette asked.

"Nah," Eva said, shrugging. "Guy could use more upper body strength. I'll go get him." Eva walked over to Ezekiel and lifted him by the neck into the air. "If you know what's good for you, you'll go and see Bridgette, got it?!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: In retrospect, I probably could've just threatened all of those guys to help Leshawna. Yeah, I wasn't thinking. Still, it was probably better for Bridgette to threaten Ezekiel, at least.

* * *

"You wanted me?" Ezekiel asked, shaking, as he stood before Bridgette.

"I know what you're trying to do, and it's really sweet," Bridgette said, looking down. "We really don't want to win like this, though."

"But if you lose, you'll probably goo."

"It's OK," Bridgette said, smiling. "I don't really want to win like this, though. It'd feel like cheating."

"But you're not a cheater, eh?" Ezekiel said, worried.

"No, I'm not. That's why you're going to help your team win this challenge."

"But Leshawna was really mean."

"Then vote her off if you lose," Bridgette said, then hugged Ezekiel. "Do it for me, OK?"

"Yes ma'am!" Ezekiel said, blushing as he walked off.

"And don't call me ma'am," Bridgette said, with her face in her palm.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Eva's probably right. I have been hard on Leshawna, and she was trying to help a friend, however misguided she was. And Leshawna is pretty lonely now... I guess I could be a bit more civil with her.

* * *

The Killer Chrises had already put a casket into the ground, while the three working Screaming Pansies were fervently still digging their first hole. Chris stood before the two plots, making his typical grand gestures. "And it's only a half hour before sunset, so these teams had better get a move on! Such a shame that the Killer Chrises managed to get all the shovels, even though the Screaming Pansies found the shovels. Not sure how that happened." Chris glared at Ezekiel. "Also not sure why these four aren't helping," Chris said, pointing to Tyler, Trent, Owen, and Harold. "Can't make 'em, though. Will their plan to get rid of Leshawna work, or will it bite these four in the butt later on? Will this truly turn out to be our least dramatic ceremony yet, 'cause seriously, even I can't pretend Leshawna has a prayer this time. But we still want you all to stay tuned, since I know our loyal viewers are all dying to see Leshawna's boot from the island, so stay tuned for our least dramatic yet most exciting campfire ceremony yet, coming up on _Total Drama Chris!"_

"Do you have to be that blunt?!" Leshawna complained.

"Yes," Chris said. "Yes I do."


	19. Day 9, Part 2: Grave Error

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 19: Day 9: Part 2: Grave Error**

Chris was standing before two large fenced-in plots, with the Killer Chrises having buried a couple of caskets in their plot as they were digging to put in a third, while Leshawna, Cody, and Ezekiel were still finishing their first, with Leshawna desperately working her hardest. "And welcome back to _Total Drama Chris! _As you can see, our two teams are still working hard to bury these things, and they'd better be quick about it, since it's almost nightfall, ha ha."

"Really funny, Chris!" Leshawna shouted.

"I know," Chris said, smirking. "That's why they pay me the big bucks."

Leshawna wiped sweat from her forehead. "How are we gonna' win this thing? The other team's way ahead of us!"

Cody shrugged. "Win, lose, it's all good. It's all how you play the game."

Leshawna shook her head, nervous. "It's kinda' hard to apologize if I'm voted off, ya' know."

"Good time to apologize to Gwen then, eh?" Ezekiel said. "I think we can fit a casket in this one now."

Leshawna gulped, nodded, then went over to drag a casket over to her team, and push it into the hole.

"You're really strong," Cody said.

"Yeah," Ezekiel said. "I always thooght fat people were supposed to be lazy and weak, boot you're proving that wroong."

"What did you just call me?!" Leshawna shouted.

"Stroong. Isn't that a good thing?"

"Don't ruin it, Leshawna," Eva grumbled, from over in her team's plot.

"We'll talk to Zeke later," Bridgette said, annoyed.

Leshawna, being held back futily by Cody, calmed down enough, worried. "I thooght that was a compliment, eh," Ezekiel said, looking down.

"No, not really," Cody said, shaking his head.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Really, look at me, then look at Owen. I've got it goin' on, with all these curves in all the right places! (Leshawna looks down.) OK, I could stand to lose a little weight. But come on, I'm still smokin' right? It's a bit of a sore spot for me.

* * *

Leshawna looked over to the rest of the caskets, and started dragging them all over to her team's plot.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: That might have been a little bit dirty, dragging all the caskets over to our side, but if we didn't let the other team get to those caskets, then we'd be home free. I thought.

* * *

"We're ready for another casket," Bridgette said, wiping sweat from her forehead. Eva walked over to grab another casket for her team to bury, except there were no caskets left.

"Where did all the caskets go?!" Eva bellowed, before looking around, and noticing the stockpile in the Screaming Pansies' lot. Eva stormed off over to their lot. "We need a casket, and now!"

"Sorry, but we need these to win, y'all," Leshawna said, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Plus I really, really need to win if I have any prayer of staying in the game after tonight. These guys aren't big on forgiveness.

* * *

"I'm getting the casket one way or another," Eva said, irritated, cracking her knuckles.

"I'll get one for you," Cody said, struggling to pull it over toward Eva. Eva just shook her head.

"Whatever happened to supporting the team, and all?" Leshawna asked, irritated.

"Sorry, but Eva could kill us. That takes precedence."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: And I know Eva likes me, but still... if I didn't at least try to bring one of the caskets over, she very well may have killed me anyway. I guess if I had to die, though, it'd be one of the better ways to go. I mean, we had the caskets and graves ready and all.

Eva: (hiding her face in her hand) I really need to get him a workout.

* * *

Leshawna was trying to block off the caskets, though Eva easily pushed her aside to grab one and carry it over her head to bring it to her team. "Guess that's not going to work," Leshawna said, irritated. "Guess we need to dig faster!"

"I'm not too good at digging faster, eh," Ezekiel said, holding up his tired arms. "I don't really knoo how people do this."

"With shovels," Cody said.

"Which we'd have if **someone **didn't give them to the other team," Leshawna said, glaring at Cody, who was ducking down.

"Well, I didn't really like what you did to Gwen," Cody said.

"I didn't like it either," Ezekiel said. "You hurt one of Bridgette's friends, eh."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that Zeke thinks so highly of me. I just wish he had more friends than me and Izzy. I mean, I'm on the other team, and Izzy's been voted off. (Bridgette thinks about it for a few seconds.) Then again, you'd hardly know that. I don't think Izzy even knows it yet.

* * *

Leshawna, Cody, and Ezekiel had managed to bury a coffin, and were working on digging a second hole, while the Killer Chrises had buried four, working on a fifth, as Eva was carrying another casket over to her side, and the sun was going down.

"It is time," Chris said, in a sinister voice. "You guys are in trouble now, ha ha!"

The casket Eva was carrying jerked out of her grip, as someone leapt from it high into the air.

"Hi!" Izzy exclaimed, landing in front of Eva, covered in grey goop, with disgusting-looking fake body parts hanging all over her body, as well as having what looked like her left eye hanging out by a string. "I'm going to be your zombie tonight, and as any good zombie, I'm here to haunt you and eat your brains, and attempt to stop you from burying more of these things. I don't really know why, but as a zombie, it's my job not to question my purpose, but simply to do, as it is the zombie way!"

"Zombies don't talk that much!" Chris complained. "Just go 'brains, brains' a few times."

"Pinkies are so much tastier, though," Izzy said rapidly. "I've had brain with a side of lamb before with my neighbor Mr. Lector. Yeah, let me tell you. He was creepy. And the brain wasn't really that good, anyway. But I'm going to bite you now." Izzy then bit into Eva, as Eva tried to shake Izzy loose.

"Did Chris really tell you to bite us?!" Eva shouted.

"No," Chris said, irritated. "I thought I specifically told you that you couldn't bite anyone, Izzy."

"Oh," Izzy said, sounding bored, and releasing Eva. "I wasn't really paying attention."

The other campers started coming out of their caskets too. Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Gwen, and Justin, all covered in heavy ugly makeup and fake sores all around.

"It's time for me to get my vengeance on you losers!" Justin shouted, angry, as he lifted Cody above his head. "Can't bury anyone now, huh, tiny? Can't hit me, huh?"

Eva was growling, and started walking over, but Beth, also angry, got to Justin first, kicking him in the balls.

"Leave him alone!" Beth shouted. Justin fell over in pain, dropping Cody. Beth went over to help Cody up, picking him up, and hugging him. "I'm so sorry that he did that." Beth looked down. "I'm also sorry I didn't really notice that you were trying to--"

"Zombies don't apologize!" Chris shouted, slapping his face. "Seriously, you're supposed to eat his brains, and try to stop him from burying the caskets, and stuff!"

"Oh, yeah," Beth said. "I'm sorry I have to stop you from digging, and stuff." Beth gave a half-hearted effort to stop Cody from digging, though it was clear she wasn't trying hard, even for her.

"Excuse me for a moment," Eva said, irritated, as she walked over to where Justin was lying. "Happy to see me, aren't you?"

"I can take you on!" Justin shouted, as he punched Eva in the gut. Eva only laughed slightly, though.

"You forget who I was?" Eva asked, angry, as she lifted Justin by his neck.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Eva really does need to control her temper. Man, poor Justin. I could almost feel bad about what she did to Justin. But on the other hand, that was a pretty sweet way for her to release her anger, I'd admit.

* * *

Eva was carrying another casket over her head as she went back over to her plot, leaving behind a barely-recognizable Justin behind.

"We're going to have to censor that bit of rage," Chris said. "Bit too over-the-top violent for this show."

"I thought you loved over-the-top violence," Bridgette said, raising an eyebrow.

"Only when I cause it," Chris said, irritated.

Gwen had just been standing there for a while, seething with rage. "Anytime, Gwen," Chris said, irritated. "Seriously, start attacking, or something."

As if on cue, Gwen lunged for Leshawna, slapping her mostly, screaming. Cody and Ezekiel nervously looked at each other before carrying Gwen off, trying to hold her back.

"**How could you?!**" Gwen screamed. Leshawna looked scared out of her wits.

"I'm sorry Gwen," Leshawna said, lying on her elbows, scared.

"Gwen, are you OK?" Trent asked, rushing up to her.

"No," Gwen said, crying. "Heather didn't spread that page around the camp."

"Leshawna did, we found out," Trent said, hugging Gwen lightly while glaring at Leshawna.

"Look, I didn't mean to do it," Leshawna said.

"Yes you did," Gwen stated coldly. "You did it on purpose."

"To get rid of Heather," Leshawna said, worried. "I did it for you."

"Well, congratulations!" Gwen yelled. "Great friggin' job!" Leshawna just sat there, looking miserable.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I know, I know, I know how terrible it was that I really hurt Gwen to get Heather eliminated. Really should've thought of a better way to get Heather voted off.

* * *

"I think it woos a mistake to bring all the caskets over here, eh?" Ezekiel asked, being stopped by Geoff and DJ.

"Where's Courtney?" Duncan asked. "Want to make sure I'm eating the right girl's brains here, after all. And she's got a lot of 'em."

"She's not here," Chris said, irritated. Duncan rolled his eyes and walked off.

"Are you guys even trying?" Katie asked, looking over to see all the zombies, minus Izzy, keeping the three working Screaming Pansies from doing their job.

"Aww, they get all the zombie fun," Sadie said, looking down.

"We have enough over here," Noah said, irritated, as Izzy was chewing on his hair. "Chris said no biting!"

Izzy scoffed. "It's just your hair. That doesn't count." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Why are all the zombies attacking our team, anyway?" Leshawna asked, being somewhat violently held back by Gwen.

"Maybe they want our team to kick you off tonight," Cody stated flatly, with Beth lightly tugging his arm.

"Or maybe becoose it was stupid to bring all the caskets carrying the zoombies over here," Ezekiel said, irritated, with Geoff and DJ still holding him in place.

Leshawna laughed nervously. "I guess I didn't think that plan through, huh?"

"Works for us," Bridgette said, smiling. "That's kind of fair and square, right?"

"She was trying to cheat by keeping the caskets away from us, so yeah," Katie said, smiling. "We're ready for another casket, Eva!"

"Right on it," Eva said, walking over to the other plot.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: OK, so I know we had an advantage with, well, actual shovels, but it also really helped that Leshawna took all the caskets, leaving all of the zombies on her side. Well, except for Izzy, but even she couldn't really stop all of us at the same time.

* * *

"Can't you guys all group together or some junk?" Izzy said, holding onto Noah and Katie. "Really, even Izzy can't literally be in five places at once! And aren't you two going to kiss already?"

"We're not really very comfortable right now," Katie whined. "You're holding us kinda' tight."

"Aww," Izzy said. "I thought you were into S and M."

Katie blushed bright red, and Noah looked angry. "Do you have to embarrass the poor girl like that?!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (blushing profusely) Does that stuff really have to get out? And besides, bondage is like totally different from S and M.

* * *

Izzy looked down. "I'm sorry. I say things without thinking sometimes. I just think you two are so cute together, and should totally settle down and make baby hyperactive nerds!"

"Can't you let us go already?" Katie said, irritated.

"Cody, can we trade one of your zombies for Izzy?" Noah asked

Cody looked down at Beth, putting almost no effort into stopping him from digging. "I'll pass."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: It was kinda' cute how Izzy was holding us captive together.  
Noah: It was less cute how she kept nibbling my ear. Really, you should've been jealous, or something.  
Katie: Nah. It's Izzy. I trust her.  
Noah: I don't.  
Katie: She's so sweet though, always thinking of others, trying to please everyone else--  
Noah: Are we talking about the same person?  
Katie: Come on, Noah. You need to relax a little more.  
Noah: You didn't seem to care when she brought up the S and--  
Katie: Yeah, I'd rather forget about that.  
Noah: (looking around for a few seconds) So, don't you usually do these things with Sadie? Why did you bring me in, anyway?  
Katie: Someplace a bit more private you might like to make out. You didn't really want to do that in public, right?  
Noah: I'm not really any good at making out. And there's still that camera.  
Katie: We can turn that off.  
Noah: (smiling) That'd work. (Katie clicks a button on the camera, and everything goes black.)

* * *

"Time's up!" Chris exclaimed, looking over at the teams' progress. "Killer Chrises, you got five caskets buried. Nice job for a change. Screaming Pansies, you only got one buried." Chris shook his head. "Bad move giving them all the shovels, and bad move stealing all the caskets for yourselves. And at a score of five to one, that makes the Killer Chrises the winners!" The five Killer Chris members started cheering, though on the Screaming Pansies' side, no one really looked particularly upset, except for Leshawna.

"So I made a mistake with the casket-hogging," Leshawna said. "I was only trying to lead our team to victory though, guys! I mean, it wouldn't have been fair to vote off Lindsay or Courtney when they weren't even here for this challenge!"

"No one was going to vote for Courtney or Lindsay," Cody said, annoyed. "We're voting for you!"

"Can't ya' show a sista' some forgiveness?" Leshawna asked, nervous. "I mean, I'm one of the strongest players on this team! Doesn't that count for something?"

"I think so," Eva said. "I wouldn't vote for you if I were on your team."

"Thanks," Leshawna said, smiling a bit. "Glad someone's got my back."

"Glad to know you're a traitor too, Eva," Gwen said, angry.

"I'm not," Eva stated. "What Leshawna did was terrible, despicable, and sickening. And she's been beating herself up over it. She needs a friend. I know the feeling."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: (looking down) Do I ever remember that feeling. Couldn't **one** person have forgiven me last season? I felt bad that I was accusing them all of stealing my mp3 player and even apologized! Was that asking too much?

* * *

"Leshawna doesn't deserve any friends," Gwen stated coldly.

Eva shrugged. "Maybe not. Can't just hate her forever, though." Gwen stuck out her tongue.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Eva just doesn't understand what it's like to have your best friend stab you in the back in such a cruel way. Seriously, I still can't believe--(Chris barges into the outhouse.)  
Chris: Out! (Chris throws Gwen out of the outhouse.) Contestants only! Sheesh! Doesn't anyone respect the rules?

* * *

"We're back guys," Courtney announced, walking up to her teammates, with Lindsay in tow, both of them looking happy. "So, we win another challenge?"

"Nope!" Chris exclaimed, smiling brightly. "You guys lost. There's a reason you're team's name ain't the Killer Chrises."

"Because we usually win?" Courtney asked, smirking.

"No!" Chris shouted, irritated. "It's because they killed you today!"

"Look," Leshawna said, exhausted, walking up to Courtney and Lindsay, "I really wish I could make it up to you guys. I tried my damnedest to win this for our team."

Courtney looked at Leshawna suspiciously, then looked at the six guys, noticing that four of them did not look particularly dirty. "So did they have to sit out, or what?" Courtney asked, irritated.

"We were trying to lose, so we could vote Leshawna off!" Tyler exclaimed, rushing up to Lindsay. "Needed to stand up for my girl, and all! She's not gonna' mess with my Lindsay again!"

"Wait," Lindsay said, confused. "You mean you guys lost on purpose?"

"Well, yeah," Tyler said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, as Courtney started growing angry.

"Why would you do that?!" Courtney shouted.

"Um, so we could vote Leshawna off?" Tyler said, confused. "Don't you hate her and stuff?"

Courtney slapped her face. "No! Yes! I don't know! But we need her! She's one of our strongest players! I mean, not that I like her, but--I mean--"

Leshawna glomped Courtney. "I love you, girl!"

"Don't do that," Courtney said, irritated.

"Sorry," Leshawna said, letting go. "Please, though. I'll do anything I can."

"Let Heather take your place?" Bridgette asked, angry, glaring at Leshawna.

"She can't do that," Chris stated, irritated.

"You heard the guy," Leshawna said, nervous. "Can't do that. Such a shame. Woulda' loved to give Heather another chance, but oops, guess I can't."

Chris snickered. "Well, Heather actually was in that first coffin the Killer Chrises buried. Maybe you two could--heh--**bury **the hatchet? We could dig it up right now."

Bridgette looked to the graves, confused. "Anyone remember which one we buried first?"

"Right over there," Chris said, smiling, pointing.

"Um, thanks?" Bridgette asked, confused, before she started digging up that first grave.

"Wait," Leshawna said, confused. "Since when did you start bein' nice and helping us out, anyway?"

"I enjoy seeing you squirm," Chris said, narrowing his eyes toward Leshawna.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Like you all really thought I was doing it just to be helpful. (Chris shakes his head.) I thought they knew me better than that.

* * *

"Wait," Courtney asked, contorting his face. "If Izzy's, well, everywhere, the other losers are here, and Heather's buried… where's Duncan?"

"Running off somewhere he shouldn't be," Chris said, irritated.

"Maybe he's looking for someone who wasn't here during the challenge," Courtney said. "I mean, maybe he thought one of us had gotten lost in the woods, and was trying to search for me--I mean, that person."

"Yeah, Duncan does like you somethin' fierce!" Leshawna said, smiling, elbowing Courtney.

"And you're not doing anything behind my back, right?" Courtney asked, nervous, looking at Gwen.

Gwen sighed. "Of course not. Seriously, I wouldn't do that to a friend." Gwen glared at Leshawna.

"Thank you, Bridgette," Heather said, covered in green makeup with fake oozing sores, but smiling, as Bridgette helped her out of her casket. "I think the air supply was getting pretty low in there." Lindsay rushed over to glomp Heather.

"You're welcome," Bridgette said, smiling, then glared at Leshawna. "Anything you want to say?"

Leshawna looked nervous. "I'm sorry I hurt **Gwen**. It was wrong of me to hurt **Gwen** to get your skanky little butt off this island. It was wrong of me to turn everyone against you, since it hurt **Gwen**."

Gwen rolled her eyes, while Bridgette slapped her face. "This is getting us nowhere." Bridgette then took Heather over to Eva. "Maybe you two can make up?"

"No," Eva stated quickly, irritated.

"I'm sorry I did that, Eva," Heather said sincerely. "That was cruel, getting you to lose your temper, and getting your team to vote you off." Heather extended her right hand to Eva, who glared at it for a few seconds, before shoving Heather down. Bridgette, angry, slapped Eva.

"What was that for?!" Bridgette shouted. Everyone else looked in shock at what Bridgette just did, including Bridgette herself, who started looking a bit fearful. Eva just stood there with a blank expression, until she finally looked down.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: What can I say? She stood up to me. I can't say it was unwarranted. Had to respect her conviction.

"I'm sorry, Heather," Eva said.

"Wait," Leshawna said, confused. "Why you sorry? Heather should be the one who's sorry!"

"She is," Eva said. "Bridgette's not stupid."

"Yes she is," Chris said, irritated. "You know, always forgetting everyone's names and all?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (with a black eye) I really need to remember to watch what I say to Eva. Oww….

* * *

"Did you forget what she did to you?!" Leshawna shouted.

"No," Eva said, then looked to Heather. "You are going to regret it if you do anything like that **ever again**."

Heather gulped, then smiled nervously. "I won't. I promise."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Eva needs a little more time before she and Heather can really be buddy-buddy. I mean, it's not really like she's buddy-buddy with anyone else here either. I don't think, anyway. (Bridgette pauses for a moment.) Does Eva like Cody? I sensed a bit of jealousy when Beth was talking to Cody.

Eva: Yeah. I needed to take my own advice and forgive Heather. Can't really tell Gwen to forgive Leshawna if I'm not going to forgive Heather. Doesn't mean I have to like her, though.

* * *

Bridgette was grinning wide as she walked over to Geoff. "So how about we go someplace a little more private?"

"But all my friends are here!" Geoff exclaimed. "It's cool hanging out here, Bridge."

Bridgette shook her head. "Please?" she asked, swaying with an innocent look on her face.

"Come on, babe, I'm in the limelight again!"

Eva slapped her face, then started speaking threateningly. "I really think you should go with Bridgette."

Geoff looked frightened, then rushed off with Bridgette. "I don't think she wants us here, babe."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: I don't really get what Bridgette sees in Geoff. He's clueless. (Eva smiles slightly.) Still, I knew what Bridgette really wanted, so why not help her out?

Bridgette: (extremely content) That was amazing! Boy, did I miss those makeout sessions. Geoff felt pretty stupid once he realized why I wanted to be alone with him. It's not really something everyone else wants to see.

* * *

"So Heather," Harold said, grinning, "you want to go make like Bridgette and Geoff?"

"No," Heather said, smiling. Harold looked down, but Heather walked up and planted a kiss on his lips. "Don't want to go too fast, now."

"It's good," Harold said, smiling.

Leshawna rolled her eyes, then glared at Heather. "I'm watching you."

"Say, Heather," Courtney asked, nervous, "do you know a girl named Jewel?"

"Yes," Gwen answered. Courtney and Lindsay looked confused by Gwen's answer. "The girl in… well, I'd really rather forget that I did that. I'm sorry about that, Heather."

Heather smiled. "I've made bigger mistakes than that."

Leshawna slapped her face. "Gwen, you--"

"**Don't talk to me, you bitch!**" Gwen screamed, then collapsed and started sobbing. Heather cautiously approached and hugged Gwen, who wasn't fighting it.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: So, I guess Gwen hates Leshawna more than she hates me now. (Heather sighs.) I thought that would feel better than it does, really.  
(Chris barges into the outhouse, and physically throws Heather out.)  
Chris: You're not a contestant! You don't get to use this!  
(Izzy then barges in, and physically throws Chris out, considerably harder.)  
Izzy: You're not a contestant! Blah blah blah, I don't care, but you're not a contestant either, Kyle! (Izzy giggles.) I wonder if Lindsay does that on purpose just to annoy him. I really should start doing that more often.

* * *

"It's time for all you brainless zombies to head back," Chris said, irritated. "Boat of Losers, you guys." Chris walked up to Justin's mangled body. "DJ, you mind carrying Justin back?" DJ shrugged, and lifted him over his shoulder, while the others walked back, with Heather walking with Gwen, still crying. "We're still missing Duncan. And Geoff. Where did Geoff go now?"

"Oh yeah," Izzy said. "Geoff's making out with Bridgette. And Duncan, I don't really know. Izzy'll find him, though!" Izzy darted off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Yeah, I found Geoff and Bridgette… whoo, were they ever going at it, let me tell you! Yeah, I don't think she's going for Ezekiel anytime too soon. Guess that means it'll be up to Izzy to find someone else for him, and Izzy knows just the person!

* * *

"I think we should vote off Omar," Lindsay said. Everyone else stared at her, confused.

"Not that I'm his biggest fan, exactly, but why Owen?" Courtney asked, confused. "I think we should vote off Harold. He deserves it after the way he's treated you, after all. And me. Well, both of us."

"Ollie helped vote off Isis," Lindsay said.

"No I didn't!" Owen shouted, then looked around nervously. "Who's Isis?"

"Izzy," Courtney stated flatly. "Owen likes Izzy, though. He wouldn't vote her off."

"He did," Lindsay stated. "Leshawna bribed him with cake."

"You're kidding," Courtney said in disbelief. "He voted off his girlfriend for cake?!"

Owen looked guilty. "It was a really, really yummy cake. Leshawna's a good cook. This was no ordinary cake, guys! This was, like, a super cake!"

"It was cake!" Courtney screamed. "You dumped your girlfriend for cake!"

"I didn't dump her!" Owen shouted. "We're still boyfriend and girlfriend. Just… you don't have to tell her about the cake."

"I already know, you idiot!" Izzy shouted, looking unusually angry, leaping toward him, lifting him by his neck. "You think I don't sneak in and pay attention to everything that's going on around here?! We're done, Owen!" Izzy threw Owen down.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Owen: Come on! That wasn't nearly as bad as the time I threw Izzy to a deranged serial killer! Seriously, you'd really have to try this cake to understand.

Eva: (staring in disbelief) OK, Courtney and Izzy both. Love to have a good match against those two!

Lindsay: I am, like, so proud of myself that I remembered that! I remember hearing Lashonda and Odie talking about that back in that truck race, and I kept repeating it in my head so I would remember, since it seemed important, and it actually worked! I actually remembered it! I was really worried I was going to forget, since I kinda' do that a lot.

* * *

"I have an idea, guys," Lindsay said sweetly. "Courtney, Lanisha, could you two follow me?" Courtney and Leshawna looked to each other, confused, as they followed Lindsay a distance away, until Lindsay stopped, looking lost. "Do you guys remember why I walked over here?"

"You had an idea of some sort," Courtney stated.

"Oh, my idea," Lindsay said, giggling it off. "It's a really good idea."

"I question that, but go on," Courtney said.

"Go on what?" Lindsay asked, holding her head as if she had a headache.

"Your idea, what is it?" Courtney asked, getting impatient.

"Oh, right, my idea," Lindsay said. "I have an idea on how we can save Lashonda!"

Leshawna looked guilty. "I really don't deserve it, you guys."

"I want you to make up with everyone, though," Lindsay said, smiling brightly, hugging Leshawna. "I want you to have a second chance. I don't want you to go out like Heather did last year. I want the old Lequisha back!"

"Thanks girl," Leshawna said, smiling. "I was really horrible to you guys."

"Just forgive Heather already," Lindsay said, a bit irritated.

Leshawna sighed. "Look, I'll lay off the girl, OK? Doesn't mean I have to forgive her."

"Gretchen doesn't have to forgive you either," Lindsay said, more irritated. "It'd be nice if she did, though."

"Why do you refuse to give her a chance?" Courtney said, irritated. "What did she ever really do to you, even?"

"She hurt Gwen!" Leshawna shouted.

"So did you," Lindsay said.

Leshawna looked like she was about to say something, but then backed down, looking guilty. "Have I really become like Heather?"

"Yes," Courtney said, irritated.

"Heather changed," Lindsay said. "You can too. You really need to forgive Heather."

"Did Heather change?" Courtney asked, nervous.

"Yes," Lindsay said, irritated. "We both know that."

"Just making sure," Courtney said, worried.

"Wait, you're having doubts?" Leshawna asked, confused. "I thought you were her strongest supporter?"

"No, she's a new girl," Courtney said, putting on a smile. "I'm sure of it."

"Jewel's a liar," Lindsay said, still irritated.

"Jewel? Like that Carrie-ripoff Jewel Jewel, from the diary?" Leshawna asked, confused.

"We saw her at the spa," Lindsay said, irritated. "Spreading lies about Heather for some reason, trying to ruin her life some more."

"Unless Heather was lying in her own diary," Courtney said. "I mean, not that she would do that."

"Would you stop that, Courtney?" Lindsay asked, irritated.

"Wait, what was she saying?" Leshawna asked, worried.

"Nothing!" Lindsay yelled. "We are dropping this now!"

"OK, OK," Leshawna said, before nervously speaking up after a pause. "How are we gonna' save my bodacious booty, anyway?"

"What else?" Lindsay said, smirking. "Bribe Orson with cake. You can whip it up now, right?"

"Well, yeah," Leshawna said, rubbing the back of her neck. "Who you gonna' get him to vote for, though?"

"Omar will vote off Omar," Lindsay said, with an unusually sneaky smile.

"He'll never go for it," Courtney said, concerned.

"Oh, he might," Leshawna said.

"We have to try," Lindsay said, smiling more innocently now.

"I suppose," Courtney said. "I mean, Leshawna did work her butt off this challenge, so she doesn't really deserve to go, and Owen did… wow. I still can't believe he's that simple-minded and selfish."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I still don't like what Leshawna did, but what if Jewel was right about Heather? I mean, not that I believe her, of course. She's obviously lying, and all... but I mean, hypothetically, what if Heather hadn't changed? I mean, it was still wrong of Leshawna to hurt Gwen like that... but whatever. Owen has to go. I don't think it'll work, though. Lindsay, Leshawna and I are voting for Owen, but I'm pretty sure all the guys are voting Leshawna. I really wasn't sure what I could do about it, though.

Cody: Leshawna, obviously. I still can't believe she did that to Gwen!

Ezekiel: I like Gwen. If she's good friends with Bridgette, she has to be nice, eh? Wish I knew her better, but I have to vote for Leshawna now. Maybe Leshawna can make up with Gwen there.

Tyler: I don't really know Gwen that well, but I know that Heather's really changed since last year. Don't really understand why Leshawna couldn't just give her another chance instead of this bizarre scheme.

Leshawna: Owen. I mean, OK, maybe I don't deserve to win the million, but I'd really like to make up with everyone before I go, at least. (Leshawna sheds a tear.) Stop that! You don't cry, girl!

Trent: Leshawna, you betrayed me. Worse, you betrayed Gwen! What did Gwen ever do to you to deserve that?! At least everyone always knew where Heather stood. (Trent thinks about it for a second, then slaps his face.) Except me. How the hell did I fall for that?!

Lindsay: I'm mad at Lafawnda, but she's trying so hard to make up. I don't really want to mess that up, and I still can't believe Owen voted off Izzy for a slice of cake. And I can't believe I actually still remembered that comment! Yay me!

* * *

"Campers," Chris stated ominously at the campfire ceremony, holding a plate of eight marshmallows, "your team has once again lived up to its namesake. You're nothing but a bunch of screaming pansies, you losers!"

"Even after tonight, our team is still going to be ahead by three people," Courtney stated flatly. "I hardly see how that qualifies us as losers."

"Just let me have my fun!" Chris whined. "You guys have all voted. There are nine of you, but only eight marshmallows on this plate. When I call your name, please come up to collect your marshmallow."

"Blah blah blah," Courtney said mockingly. "Look, can you just get on with it?"

"Fine, Courtney," Chris said, irritated. "Come up and get your marshmallow."

"Of course," Courtney said, smiling. "I knew I was going to be safe, naturally."

"I wouldn't have minded if Harold had rigged the votes again, myself," Chris said, irritated. "I'm disappointed in you Harold, but you get a marshmallow, too."

"Cody."

"Ezekiel."

"Lindsay."

"...Lindsay, are you paying attention? Lindsay!"

"I think Kyle's getting mad," Lindsay said. "Lindsay better go up and get her marshmallow."

"That's you, babe," Tyler said, trying to hold in laughter.

"Oh... oh!" Lindsay exclaimed, then walked up, looking down, to collect her marshmallow.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (blushing) I'm so bad with names. How does someone forget their own name?

* * *

"And if I may continue... Tyler."

"Trent."

Leshawna and Owen were sitting by themselves, on their stumps, looking nervously at Chris. "Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the night. The one of you who does not receive a marshmallow will have to walk the Dock of Shame, where you will board the Boat of Losers, which means that you are out of the game, and can never come back. **Ever.**"

"Oh, I hope Heather comes back!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling brightly.

"She's not coming back," Chris said, irritated. "Anyway, the final marshmallow of the night goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Leshawna."

Leshawna looked majorly relieved as she leapt up to collect her marshmallow, hugging Lindsay and Courtney. "I love you guys," Leshawna said, tearing up slightly.

"We're not friends, you know," Courtney stated.

"Right, right," Leshawna said, looking guilty. "Civil terms with each other, at least?"

Courtney sighed. "Yes. Civil terms with each other."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: You know, it occurred to me that someone else had to have voted for Owen. Even if Lindsay, Leshawna, Owen, and myself voted for Owen, there were still five votes against Leshawna. One of those guys had to have voted for Owen, too. Whoever it was, you did good.

* * *

"Wait!" Owen exclaimed. "How could I have been voted off? I thought everyone was voting for Leshawna!"

"Dude, **you **voted for you!" Chris said. "Seriously, that was dumb. It was five to four, so if you hadn't voted for yourself, Leshawna would've gone instead."

"But there was cake!" Owen exclaimed. "**Cake!**"

"Well, I hope that cake was worth a million bucks, 'cause you just cost yourself that prize."

"Oh, it was," Owen said, smiling. "Wish I coulda' have both, though."

"Well you can't," Chris said. "Boat of Losers awaits."

"Aww, man," Owen said, dejected as he walked over to the Boat of Losers.

"Sorry, but you kind of had this coming," Cody said. "We haven't forgot about that Sailor Moon stunt you pulled. Trying to take out your own team for jellybeans."

"Wait, what?" Courtney asked, in shock. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean Bridgette gave him jellybeans, and he started taking out his own team one by one."

"Bridgette?" Courtney asked, blinking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Wow… I mean, that was kind of sneaky on Bridgette's part, but I also have to say I'm kind of impressed. I didn't know Bridgette had it in her to do something like that. She's usually just so, well, nice.

* * *

The others gave a half-hearted goodbye to Owen as he left, then the other campers all glared at Leshawna.

"This isn't going to happen next time," Cody said, angry. "That was really awful how you hurt Gwen."

"We're also not going to lose next time," Courtney said, irritated. "Any of you who does not give it a hundred percent in the next challenge is going down, I promise you!"

"Don't people usually say a hundred and ten percent?" Leshawna asked.

"A hundred and ten percent is impossible, duh," Lindsay said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I've never liked the phrase "a hundred and ten percent." You can only give it a hundred percent. Giving it a hundred and ten percent simply isn't possible, and doesn't really make a whole lot of sense.

Lindsay: Really, a hundred and ten percent is like... well... (Lindsay starts counting on her fingers.) twenty percent more than humanly possible!

* * *

Chris went back into his trailer, where Jewel and the policeman from the spa were waiting, as Chris took out his wallet, and gave the two some money from it. "You two did great at the spa. I'm going to get Heather to give us drama whether she likes it or not!"

"If I'm lucky, she's going to become so hated that she gets murdered!" Jewel screeched, then started laughing maniacally.

Chris looked worried. "OK, that's a bit far, even for me."

"Oh, I wouldn't dirty my hands like that," Jewel said. "I'm sure someone else would rid her of this earth, though. It's for the good of everyone, after all."

"O… K…" Chris said, as he was backing out of his trailer, a bit uneasy. "So, yeah, I saw _Total Drama Psycho Hose Beast_--lousy name for a show by the way--and found out about this girl who hates Heather. Thought I could invite her to the show to stir up some drama, and I think it's starting to work. Maybe a little too well." Chris walked over toward the dock. "Will Courtney wind up turning everyone else against Heather? Or will Lindsay, being the idiot that she is, continue this odd belief that this Jewel sicko is lying? Can the Killer Chrises win another one, or will Courtney keep everyone in line to make sure no one tries to throw the next challenge? Tune in next time to find out, on _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

**Votes**

Cody: Leshawna  
Courtney: Owen  
Ezekiel: Leshawna  
Harold: Owen  
Leshawna: Owen  
Lindsay: Owen  
Owen: Owen  
Trent: Leshawna  
Tyler: Leshawna

Owen: 5  
Leshawna: 4

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Heather, Gwen, Justin, Owen

Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Eva, Katie, Noah, Sadie

Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Trent, Tyler

* * *

Yep. It was Owen's time to go this time. Really, I've got some nice jokes out of him, but I wasn't really developing him much. He could've easily left at any point, and, well, I guess this was any point.

It's probably about time the Screaming Pansies lost again anyway, right? It'll hurt when someone else on the Killer Chrises has to go. **If **someone has to go, anyway... could they be in for a long winning streak? Who knows....


	20. Day 10, Part 1: Bridging the Gap

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 20: Day 10: Part 1: Bridging the Gap**

Chris was walking through the forest, nervous, followed by Chef, as he started to speak, with less of his trademark fake enthusiasm than usual. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _everyone was really mad at Leshawna for exposing Gwen's secret diary to the entire viewing world, even though Heather did it. See, Heather tricked everyone into believing that Leshawna did it somehow. Regardless, Leshawna took the rap for it, deserved or not. She was trying hard to get on everyone's good side again, but with limited success. She seemed to get on Eva's good side, at least, which surprised me, since I wasn't even aware Eva **had **a good side, period."

Chris carefully looked around a tree, then walked forward. "The two teams had to bury a bunch of caskets we had lying around, some of which had zombies inside! After nightfall, the zombies sprung forth from those caskets, making it all the more difficult for them to complete the challenge. Especially for the Screaming Pansies, since Leshawna stupidly tried hoarding the caskets to keep them from the other team, which, aside from not really keeping Eva from taking them as needed, it also put most of the zombies on their side, allowing the Killer Chrises to continue working easily. Well, except for Izzy, who made a pretty lousy zombie, really. All of them except for DJ did, really. Seemed to be the only one who remembered that zombies don't hold friendly conversations or make out with girls. In the end, Courtney and Lindsay came back from their spa trip, which Leshawna sent them on, and coincidentally, they did not want Leshawna voted off that night." Chris chuckled to himself. "I'm sure the two were completely unrelated. As it stands, though, the three girls banded together to get Owen kicked off, as well as convincing Owen himself to vote himself off. Not a very bright one. Will Leshawna be able to make any friends today? Where is Duncan? And who will be voted off in tonight's most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, coming up now on _Total Drama--"_

Chris was hit in the head with a paintball, as Izzy leapt down from the tree Chris had passed. "No One Cares!" Izzy shouted.

Chef growled, then started chasing her, as Chris lay there, rubbing his head. "We're doing another take on that before air."

* * *

Owen walked into the Playa' des Losers, where the other campers were lounging around, watching the TV.

"Hey guys!" Owen exclaimed. "Good to see all of you! They have any food ready?"

"Didn't you just eat cake?" Heather asked, angry.

"Yes, but that was dessert," Owen said. "I'm ready for dinner now! Or my second dinner now!"

Heather got in Owen's face. "If you hadn't eaten that cake, then Leshawna would've lost, like she so deserved!"

"It's fine, Heather," Gwen said, irritated. "Since Leshawna wasn't voted off, I don't have to deal with her here yet."

Heather was about to speak, then stopped herself. "Good point. I can't believe Courtney, Lindsay, and Harold all turned their backs on me, though."

Gwen sighed. "Maybe you should find out why they did that before you get all angry."

"Hello, food?" Owen asked, trying to get their attention.

"You're right Gwen," Heather said, looking down. "They're my friends. They wouldn't hurt me. I don't think."

"Until they stab you in the back," Gwen said. "Still can't believe Leshawna did that."

"I don't even like her and I can't believe she did that," Heather said. "Really thought she liked you, at least."

Gwen took a deep breath. "Look, thank you for helping me earlier."

"You're welcome," Heather said, smiling sincerely.

Owen was twiddling his fingers. "OK, now that you're finished the touching moment, can someone get me some food? I'm starving!"

"You'll live," Heather said, questioningly poking Owen's belly. Gwen laughed slightly.

* * *

"_Hi! Welcome to McRonald's! How are you?"_

_Lindsay was smiling brightly behind the counter at a McDonald's near her home. It was her first day working, and she was proud of herself, even having to wear the ugly uniform. Then an angry guy walked up to her counter._

"_I want a number two," the guy said, irritated._

"_Do you want that with a Coke?" Lindsay asked, confused. "Iced tea?"_

"_I said I want a number two!" the guy shouted._

"_Yes," Lindsay said. "Do you want that for here or to go?"_

"_Which part of 'I want a number two' did you not understand, missy?" the guy shouted, getting up in her face._

"_Yes sir," Lindsay said, no longer smiling. "That'll be four forty-three."_

"_And smile!" the guy shouted, getting angry. "Whatever happened to service with a smile?! I want to see a smile!"_

_Lindsay smiled again, weakly. "Yes sir." Lindsay walked over to put his sandwich and fries in a bag, and giving him a cup._

"_Why is this in a bag?" the guy asked, angry. "I wanted this for here, idiot! And I wanted a shake! Give me a shake!"_

"_That'll be extra," Lindsay said, looking down._

"_I'm not paying for your mistake, bitch! You're giving me a shake now!"_

"_**What are you doing?!**__" the manager yelled, storming up to Lindsay's face. "Why aren't you giving this guy what he wants?!"_

"_He wanted a shake, but that costs--"_

"_Out of your paycheck!" the manager yelled, right in her face, then turned to speak to the customer more calmly. "Don't worry, sir, she'll get it right. At least she'd better."_

* * *

"How do people work?" Lindsay asked, as she was pacing the beach around where Courtney and Bridgette were lounging.

"What do you mean?" Courtney asked, confused.

"Like, how do people do jobs and make money?" Lindsay asked, worried.

"You get a good education so that you can become whatever you want to be," Courtney said, smiling. "What do you want to be, anyway?" Lindsay had stopped pacing and was looking down, fairly limp.

"Are you OK, Lindsay?" Bridgette asked, concerned.

"I'm useless," Lindsay said, looking away, sitting down. "If my parents weren't so rich, I don't know what I'd do."

"Well, there's always something like McDonald's," Courtney said, smiling. "Everyone can do that."

"I'd rather die that work at McRonald's again," Lindsay said, angry.

"You worked there before?" Bridgette asked.

"Never again," Lindsay said. "I don't know how poor people do it."

"Why did you go there for work, anyway?"

"No place else would hire me," Lindsay said, hurt.

"Maybe I'm not asking the right question," Bridgette said, concerned. "Why were you looking for a job?"

"That's what grown-ups do," Lindsay said. "We're almost adults, and I needed to prove to myself that I could make it after all. But I can't. I need Mommy and Daddy to give me money."

"That's not really a bad deal, though," Bridgette said. "You should feel lucky that you don't have to worry about that."

Lindsay started crying. "Mommy and Daddy don't want me to sit around the house all day. They want me to do something with my life. I don't know how to do anything, though. I can't do anything. I'm too stupid to work like a normal person."

"Lindsay, you're not that stupid," Courtney said, smiling.

"I forgot my own name!" Lindsay shouted, standing up, still crying. "Who forgets their own name?!"

"What about that plan you came up with to help keep Leshawna here?" Courtney asked, smiling. "That was a good plan."

"Still don't get why you wanted to save her," Bridgette said, shrugging.

"A normal person wouldn't have tired their brain out just trying to remember one little detail like the cake," Lindsay said, crying. "A normal person would've realized Heather was being mean last year a lot faster than I did. I'm retarded."

"No you're not!" Courtney shouted.

"I know what people say about me. And they're right. I am that stupid."

"Lindsay!" Tyler shouted, overhearing as he rushed on over, hugging her. "Don't say that about yourself!"

Lindsay was crying on Tyler's shoulder. "It's true, though. I really am that stupid."

"Lindsay, you're a beautiful girl!" Tyler exclaimed, smiling at Lindsay.

"And a stupid one. I'm like really bad at school. Like when my teachers told the class that there are no dumb questions… my teachers started telling me there are dumb questions. Like how am I supposed to solve a math problem if they don't tell me one of the numbers? What is x, anyway? Is it like on that game show, where we're supposed to guess who Mr. X is? Why can't they just tell us what x is so I can solve the problem?"

"You're meant to solve for x, Lindsay," Courtney said.

"See?" Lindsay said, crying. "You knew that, because you're so smart! You're like a genius! I bet even Tyler knew the answer to that."

"Um… thanks," Tyler said, disappointed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: Even Tyler knew the answer? Does she think that little of my intelligence? I'm as smart as I am athletic!

* * *

"How is reading boring stories from dead authors supposed to make me read better?" Lindsay asked. "Why do the three, four, five, seven, and nine on the page numbers go down low, and the six and eight go up high? Why was Pluto named after a dog? Why did that cute little purple guy and the dragon stop showing up in my math book after grade one? Why do protons hate each other so much, they need neutrons to keep them from fighting each other? Why are fragments evil? Wasn't 'Any questions?' a fragment?" Lindsay started crying more, hanging her head over Tyler's shoulders. "The teachers say my questions are stupid. I started getting punished for it, even… it's like they thought I was trying to be disappointed. How was I supposed to learn if I didn't ask questions?" Lindsay sighed. "I didn't learn."

"You're special, Lindsay," Courtney said, smiling.

"I know what 'special' means too!" Lindsay shouted, angry, putting finger quotes around the word "special." Courtney and Bridgette looked nervously at each other.

"I don't think Courtney meant anything mean by that," Tyler said, confused.

"Special ed," Lindsay said, irritated. "A lot of kids got in trouble for calling me retarded, so they started calling me that, without actually calling me that, by calling me special. I thought it was nice at first, too, until my friends found out what it meant. Of course **I **couldn't figure it out on my own, being 'special' and all." Lindsay rolled her eyes.

"That's really not what I mean," Courtney said sweetly. "I mean, I probably would have thought it last year, but now that I've gotten to know you, that's completely false. I mean, sure you're not that intelligent--"

"Thank you," Lindsay said, irritated.

Courtney sighed. "That's not important. What's important is how wonderful a friend you've been. How great a person you are."

"Like getting Heather shaved bald," Lindsay stated flatly.

"Well, she did kind of deserve that last year," Bridgette said, smiling.

"She doesn't deserve it now, though!" Lindsay shouted. Lindsay looked down, crying, then stopped, looking back up, confused. "Why was I crying again?"

"Lindsay, I'm going to be there for you, OK?" Tyler said, smiling. Lindsay looked into his eyes and couldn't help but smile back, and the two hugged.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I've really gotten to know Lindsay a lot better this season, and I've learned what a sweet, caring girl she is, but I am worried for her, too. No one who isn't forced to is going to look past that annoying and ditzy demeanor. I mean, I wouldn't have either last year, and that's how any prospective employer is going to judge her. I wish I could help her.

Bridgette: Lindsay's not really that smart. There's nothing wrong with that, though. I mean, Geoff isn't that smart either, but I don't really think less of him for it. I mean, I'm not quite up there with Courtney and Heather, but that doesn't make me less of a person, right?

Lindsay: Why does Kyle keep thinking Bridgette's stupid, anyway? I don't get that.

* * *

Katie was nervously pacing in front of Noah, reading his book, Eva, lifting her weights, and Sadie, looking worried. "We got lucky with that last challenge," Katie said, uneasy. "We're really running out of contestants, and we're running out of people we can really eliminate!"

"What about Bridgette?" Sadie said. "Don't we hate her for stealing Trent?"

Noah slammed his face in his book, while Katie just slapped her face. "That was like centuries ago! Bridgette's one of the good guys!"

"Oh yeah," Sadie said, blushing.

"No one touches Bridgette," Eva said threateningly. "Anyone thinks about voting Bridgette off again, and I'll make 'em pay!"

"Could always just vote you off," Noah said, irritated.

"And as much shame as I've brought this team this season, I couldn't argue with that," Eva stated.

"Wait," Katie said, confused. "Didn't you throw a hissy fit when you were voted off last year? Both times?"

"You guys had no right to vote me off last year!" Eva shouted. "I was perfect! I made a perfect dive into the lake, I pushed some of your crates for you, bunch of weaklings, did as well as anyone else putting that hot tub together, defended the honor of you two against Ezekiel's cruel comments, stayed up longer than anyone else in the Awake-a-Thon, and how you guys repay me?! Voting me off!"

Sadie had rushed behind Katie while Eva was ranting, and she was shivering. Katie looked irritated. "That's why you were voted off! You were great with challenges, but you scared the bejeebers out of us!"

"I apologized for it, though," Eva said, looking down. "I made a mistake! How did you like it when your team didn't forgive you for the mistake you made last season, getting lost in the woods."

"That wasn't our fault!" Katie insisted, trying to defend herself.

"Actually, it kinda' was," Sadie said. "We kinda' got distracted."

"Well, they should have noticed we were missing!" Katie shouted.

"Of course," Noah stated flatly. "No similarities at all. Completely different. Eva made a mistake, apologized, and no one gave her another chance. You made a mistake, apologized, and no one gave you another chance."

Katie was getting angry. "Well, it's better than you, who made a mistake, and **never **apologized for it!"

Noah looked confused. "I don't make mistakes. I was perfect, and have no idea what you are talking about."

"Telling Katie off wasn't a mistake?" Sadie asked, confused.

Noah looked embarrassed. "OK, but I apologized for that one."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Eventually. OK, so I made **one **tiny mistake.

* * *

Katie scoffed. "That's not what I meant, you idiot." Noah frowned at being called that. "I meant your not participating in the dodge ball challenge, and then blaming everyone else for the loss."

"Well, it was their fault!" Noah defended himself. "Seriously, if I wasn't out there playing, it logically could not have been my fault if we lost!" Eva giggled slightly.

"That's a little bit freaky," Katie said, looking nervously at Eva, before looking back to Noah, irritated. "No one liked your attitude. You could have actually supported your team, at least!"

"Couldn't do that," Noah said. "My favorite girl was on the other team, after all. Didn't want them to vote you off, of course."

Katie looked to the sky, exasperated. "You didn't even know me! And you didn't like me at first, anyway."

"Maybe he was trying to protect me, then!" Sadie exclaimed.

"No," Katie stated flatly. "He didn't really like either of us at first." Katie then jumped into Noah's lap, smiling brightly, knocking the book from his hands. "But he's learned to appreciate us, right?" Katie wrapped her arms around Noah, and Eva started giggling some more. Katie turned to Eva, nervous. "Seriously, that's scary."

"Who are we going to vote off when we lose, anyway?" Sadie asked, worried.

"Well aren't you ever the optimist," Noah said. "We clearly should vote off Bridgette, though."

"Bridgette?" Sadie cried. "Why her?"

"A, I'm obviously not voting off Katie. B, you're her best friend, and Katie would kill me if I voted for you. And C, Cody… um… starts with C."

"Good save," Katie said, smirking. Eva looked relieved as well.

"Cody starts with C?" Sadie asked, confused. "I don't get it. We should vote for Bridgette because Cody starts with C?"

"Not a good reason, though," Eva said. "If we lose again, then I would deserve to go, as I've been much less help to this team than I would like to admit, and I would not blame you guys for voting me off. Bridgette does not deserve to go, though."

"You really are different this season," Katie said, worried. "I actually did think you should go, though, since you're scary and all."

Eva looked irritated. "Haven't I gotten better at all?"

"You have," Katie said, smiling. "You're less scary, but you're still scary."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (smirking) Yep. All Eva needed was a boyfriend to soothe the savage beast within.

* * *

"Bridgette does hang out with the enemy a lot," Noah said. "Might be giving away all our weaknesses."

"I think we all remember each others' weaknesses from last year," Katie said, irritated. "Bridgette and Courtney are really close, though."

"Is anyone **not **really close with Bridgette," Noah said, rolling his eyes. "Really, I don't see what's so great about her. Don't see everyone begging to hang out with Iron Woman here."

"Bridgette's nicer than I am," Eva said, irritated, glaring at Noah. "Call me that again and I could show you how what I mean by that."

"Didn't Bridgette help you apologize to Katie?" Sadie asked, smiling.

"That never happened!" Noah shouted. "I mean, that was all my doing. Bridgette was no help at all." Noah looked nervous. "She just kept pestering me. Wouldn't get off my back."

"Didn't you ask Bridgette for help?" Sadie asked, confused. Katie had a big grin on her face, and Noah started blushing.

"We should get rid of her," Noah said, after staring blankly ahead for a few seconds, as Bridgette started walking on over toward her teammates.

"Hey guys," Bridgette said, smiling.

"You sure have been hanging around the enemy a lot," Noah said, narrowing his eyes toward Bridgette.

"Hanging around the enemy?" Bridgette asked, confused, then turned to Eva. "Do you know what he's talking about?"

"He means Courtney," Eva said. "Not my favorite person, but I trust your judgment."

"Noah doesn't like Courtney?" Bridgette asked, confused. "They seem to have a lot in common, really."

"He doesn't like that she's on the other team," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "He thinks you're giving away all our weaknesses."

Bridgette sighed. "Even Courtney isn't on that kick anymore. We all know each other now. Does it really matter if we're on different teams?"

"No," Eva stated flatly.

"Noah's just trying to think of a flimsy excuse to kick you off if we lose again," Katie said.

"After I helped Noah apologize to you?" Bridgette asked indignantly, then turned to Noah. "Really nice show of appreciation there."

"Whatever happened to a good deed being its own reward," Noah said, irritated. "Besides, who else could I vote off, anyway?"

"Me," Eva said, irritated. "If we lose again, I'd deserve it."

"Right now, I'm leaning toward Noah," Bridgette said, irritated as well.

"You are being kinda' mean, Noah" Sadie said, looking concerned.

"Sadie, you wouldn't dare!" Katie shouted, angry. "You couldn't vote off Noah! He's your BFFFL's BBFFL!"

"BFFFL BFB… what?" Bridgette asked, holding her head in confusion.

"BFFFL's BBFFL," Sadie said. "It's best female friend for life's best boyfriend for life."

"Wait, what?" Noah asked, worried. "I don't even know where you live! We'll probably never even see each other after the show is over!"

Katie rolled her eyes. "Hello, it's called a cell. Everyone who's anyone knows how to use a cell."

"Yeah," Sadie said, "anyone who's anyone. Which I guess wouldn't be Noah. Just a mean old nerd!"

"Take that back!" Katie shouted.

"I can't really argue with her assessment," Noah said, smirking. Bridgette and Eva stared at each other as Noah, Katie, and Sadie were fighting, and walked away.

"Eva," Bridgette said, looking down, "I really should try to get things settled between them."

Eva looked confused. "And you're not because--"

"Because if those three are getting along, then they'll vote as a block and vote both of us off the next two times we lose."

"My number is just about up anyway," Eva said, dejected. "I've done a lousy job in these challenges this year. Couldn't even stop Harold from taking me down in the monster truck challenge."

"Wait, what?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"Oh, right, you weren't there," Eva said. "You'll see it on TV. I brought shame upon myself that day, and I've been lousy ever since."

"There's more to the game than that, though," Bridgette said, smiling, putting a hand on Eva's shoulder. "What about all the friends we've made here?"

"Everyone loves you," Eva said. "No one really likes me. Well, except you. And… well…."

"One friend is plenty," Bridgette said sweetly. "Everyone's afraid of you. I was too. They just need to see your softer side."

"That thought makes me puke," Eva said, pretending to vomit. Bridgette giggled.

"That side. Like when you flirted with Chris in that sucking up to him challenge."

"Dear God, what was I thinking?! Everyone at my gym is going to see that!"

Bridgette smiled. "They'll see a girl who can be tough and strong, but also fun to hang around at the same time! That's what they'll see!"

"If you don't win, someone's going to die," Eva said, laughing a bit, until she saw Bridgette, worried. "That was a joke."

Bridgette shook her head, then smiled. "We'll work on the comedy."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: I'm not a comedian. I've never really been known for my sense of humor. It's harder than they make it look.

* * *

Bridgette looked down. "If they're still fighting when we have to vote someone else off, we can save ourselves."

"Really, it's fine if they kick me off," Eva said.

"Come on!" Bridgette exclaimed. "Whatever happened to last year's 'never give up' attitude?"

"That was when I was strong and seemed to be dominating the game," Eva said, with a hint of excitement.

"No reason you can't do that again!" Bridgette exclaimed. Eva went back to looking down, though.

"Eva, I'd still like to win this. If they're voting as a block, I could be next. And I'll definitely be after you if they get rid of you first."

Eva sighed. "Still can't believe they'd vote you off."

"Katie won't vote for Sadie or Noah, Sadie won't vote for Noah or Katie, Noah will vote for whoever Katie tells him to vote for--which won't be Sadie." Bridgette started to smirk. "Unless she's upset with Sadie. Then Noah and Katie will both vote for Sadie."

"And we get saved," Eva said, sounding happier than she looked.

"I hate to see our teammates fighting, though," Bridgette said, looking miserable. "I really should try to get them to get along with each other."

"It's not that big a deal, really," Eva said, putting her hand on Bridgette's shoulder now. "They might make up by themselves. And if they don't, just help them after the vote."

Bridgette tried to smile. "I guess… it just feels so mean."

"Bridgette," Eva said, "there's a difference between being nice and being a doormat. You're probably the nicest person here."

"That might be Lindsay or Tyler," Bridgette said, blushing.

"Either way, you don't need to be a doormat."

"I guess," Bridgette said, smiling slightly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I really hate to see them fighting, though. But it would be hard to make it much further if they're all voting together. (Bridgette looks down.) I really hate myself for this. I hope I'm not turning into Leshawna, too.

* * *

"I think I hear someone," Eva said, looking around.

"Did you hear where it was coming from?" Bridgette asked.

"Over here," Eva said, following the sound. Bridgette just followed until she realized where they were headed.

"Are we going back to that hole in the ground again?"

"Not sure where that is."

"Well, I definitely hear someone. Sounds in pain," Bridgette said, worried.

Bridgette and Eva looked into the hole, and saw Duncan, moaning in pain, with an obviously injured leg.

"Oh my God!" Bridgette screamed. "Are you OK?" Duncan didn't answer though, but just continued moaning.

"No, he isn't," Eva said, as she leapt into the hole, and climbed back out, carrying Duncan with her.

"How long has he been down there?" Bridgette said, worried.

"I'm surprised Izzy didn't save him. Isn't she usually watching everything?"

Bridgette looked confused for a moment before it hit her. "The cameras! Chris got rid of the cameras in this area."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: (looking down) I'm ashamed to have let Duncan down like that. I'm putting new tapes in those cameras tonight. Not going to let that happen again. Because this one time my cousin got her leg broken. Yeah, my aunt and uncle were fighting for a wish on what they called her wishbone, and they got their wish. To become a childless couple. (Izzy starts crying a bit.)

Bridgette: I only wish I'd remembered that before my Fear Factor challenge.

Chris: More money down the drain! And people say Bridgette's nice. Not nice to my poor widdle wallet!

Izzy: (smiling again) My grandparents adopted her, and even though my cousin can't walk anymore, she the second most insane person I know, after me of curse! I love you Ally! (Izzy narrows her eyes, looking around suspiciously.) My aunt and uncle are freaks.

* * *

"I'm sorry Lindsay," Courtney said, looking down.

"Why are you sorry?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"I was that person," Courtney said, hanging her head in shame. "Complaining that there was a pickle on my burger, complaining that the fries were cold, yelling at the cashier that they were retarded, using that word… I've done all that."

"I'm not really surprised," Lindsay said, smiling, with Tyler standing beside her. "You get mad easy."

"I know," Courtney said. "I'm trying to curtail it. I really am. Ever since this girl named Jewel--"

"We don't talk about that," Lindsay said, irritated.

"No, not that Jewel. Another Jewel, at my school. This Jewel was a monster who--"

"Courtney!" Bridgette shouted, worried. "Duncan's in trouble!"

"What?!" Courtney screeched, worried. "What's wrong?"

"He fell down that stupid pit, and we think he's been down there a while! He needs serious help! Like off-this-island help!"

"**No!**" Courtney screamed, starting to panic, and started getting dizzy, sitting down.

"Are you OK?" Bridgette asked.

"No, I'm not," Courtney said weakly, feeling woozy, as she forced herself back up. "Get me to Duncan!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: That never happened.

* * *

"Duncan!" Courtney yelled, following Bridgette as she was running up to Duncan, lying on the ground, with Lindsay and Tyler in tow, as Eva was holding Chris by his shirt collar, looking like she was about to punch him.

"Princess?" Duncan asked weakly, lying fairly still.

"Duncan," Courtney said, crying, as she was about to hug him… then stopped herself. "Probably a bad idea to do that."

"Afraid it'll haunt you later in life when you're running for office?" Duncan asked.

"No," Courtney said, crying. "I don't want to hurt you."

"It's my leg, not my upper body," Duncan said, smirking. "You can do what you want up here. I'm game for anything."

Courtney looked worried. "You guys think it's OK?"

"Of course!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling brightly. "If Darren dies, you'd want his last moment to be his best, right?" Courtney's eyes grew wide.

"He's not dying," Tyler said, shaking his head.

"Go for it," Bridgette said, smiling. "Just be careful."

Courtney looked to Duncan and knelt on the ground, giving his a gentle, though passionate kiss from upside down, to try to prevent touching his legs.

"Aww, that's so sweet," Lindsay said, beaming. "Tyler, you should get injured so we could do that."

"I don't have to get injured for us to do that," Tyler said.

"Aww, but it's so much sweeter. Courtney's never so open with Doogie like that."

"You are though, babe," Tyler said.

"Oh," Lindsay said, looking down for a second before picking right back up. "So you want to make out now?"

"A little later, OK babe?" Tyler said, smiling.

"Aww," Lindsay said, disappointed. "All right." Bridgette couldn't help but giggle.

"What were you doing here anyway?" Courtney asked sweetly.

"We were zombies in the last challenge, and I didn't see you around. Went to go look for you and fell in that stupid hole," Duncan said. Courtney just cried silently until a couple of people arrived from a boat, who came over with a gurney to place Duncan on.

"Promise me you'll get better!" Courtney demanded sweetly.

"I've dealt with worse," Duncan said as he was being taken away, with everyone around looking worried, and Courtney waving goodbye, crying.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I like Duncan, OK? I admit it! (Courtney looks down.) I'm probably going to regret doing that tomorrow.

* * *

"So, how do you do this yo-yo thing again, eh?" Ezekiel asked Harold, as he was trying to work his yo-yo unsuccessfully.

"It's all in the wrist," Harold said, smiling. "Just watch as I--"

In a flash, Ezekiel was gone in a red and green blur. Harold just stood there in shock. "He's got to teach me that one."

A distance away, Ezekiel was thrown to the ground hard, somewhere in the woods, with Izzy giggling above him.

"It's playtime!" Izzy exclaimed, glomping Ezekiel, who looked confused.

"Whoot is it, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"You're my new boyfriend!" Izzy exclaimed, squeezing tightly. "And I'll love you and hug you and squeeze you into itty-bitty pieces!"

"That sounds scary, eh," Ezekiel said, shivering. Izzy noticed, and let go.

"I'm sorry, Zeke," Izzy said, looking unsure of herself. "I know you'd rather Bridgette torturing you like that, but--"

"Not really," Ezekiel said, worried. "I doon't really want anyone torturing me, eh."

"Not even Bridgette?" Izzy asked, tilting her head.

"No."

"Not an S and M person then. That's fine," Izzy said, smiling again.

"S and M?" Ezekiel asked.

"Not important. You don't like it, so I won't do it."

"I'm your boyfriend?" Ezekiel asked, very confused.

"Oh, yeah, I didn't tell you that already," Izzy said, hitting the side of her head. "Yeah, after I dumped Owen, since he **sold me out for cake**, I realized he'd also turn me into the RCMP for something like cake, or a promise that he wouldn't be prosecuted for hiding me from them, or some other lame excuse, but you're like the perfect guy, minus the whole 'guys rule girls drool' attitude."

"Guys rule girls drool?" Ezekiel asked. "What's that?"

"You got past that phase," Izzy said. "There's still the problem of Bridgette, I suppose. Perhaps I should have her eliminated--I have connections after all--but then I remembered that Bridgette's like one of the sweetest girls here, and if she wants to go out with a dunderhead, then who am I to force her against her will to go out with you, one of the sweetest guys here!" Izzy paused for a moment, thinking. "Actually, I probably could use mind control on Bridgette to go out with you, but that wouldn't really be fair to her. Or to me, for that matter."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ezekiel said, holding his head in confusion.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked if it was OK with you," Izzy said, smiling sweetly and talking more slowly. "Zeke, I would like to be your girlfriend."

"Really?" Ezekiel asked, smiling and surprised. "I'm proobably too boring for your activeness, though."

"Nah," Izzy said, waving her hand. "No one can keep Izzy down, but Izzy could use someone who's gonna' try, at least. Might be good for her. Plus, she could always show you how to have fun!"

"I know how to have fune, eh?" Ezekiel said.

"Shaving a llama does not count," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Shaving a man-eating hippopotamus, on the other hand, that's living!"

"Man-eating hippopotamus?" Ezekiel asked. "But they're vegetarians, eh?"

"Nope," Izzy said, looking around menacingly. "That's just what Bippo wants you to think." Izzy stopped herself, then looked sweet, and calmed herself down, speaking more slowly again. "You still haven't told me if I could be your girlfriend."

"Yes," Ezekiel said, smiling. "You're almost as pretty and nice as Bridgette."

Izzy looked upset. "OK, it's a bad idea to tell your girlfriend that another girl is prettier or nicer. Even if it is true."

"Soory," Ezekiel said, blushing.

"Well, someone has to teach you these things," Izzy said, shrugging. "Might as well be me."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Prettier, yes! I mean, hello, sexy redhead here! Guys love the firecrackers! But I'll admit I'm not as nice as Bridgette. I'm a wild child. What can I say? Yep. Easy to see why a guy like my Zeke would fall for her, and while I'm sure Bridgette could carefully get him out of that shell of his, I'm pretty sure it'll be better for me to just crack that baby right open!

Chris: Come on! Izzy, you're not a camper anymore! Sheesh! Why don't I get any respect from these guys?!

* * *

Chef was carrying several computers into the dining hall, plugging them in, and booting them up, grumbling all the while. After he finished, Chris led the campers into the dining hall.

"Computers!" Courtney exclaimed. "I've been dying to check up on my associations on there! That's the nicest--"

"There's no Internet connection," Chris said, annoyed.

"I hate you," Courtney said.

"At least I can check to see how my friends are doing online," Lindsay said, smiling. "They'll be happy to hear from me!"

"But there's no Internet connection," Courtney said.

"I know," Lindsay said, waving her hand. "I'm not using the Internet. I'm using Myspace." Lindsay started beaming as an idea popped into her head. "Courtney! You can friend me! Then we can stay friends even after the show is over!"

"Except we still can't connect here," Courtney said, exasperated.

"It's OK," Lindsay said. "Connect Four is too hard for me, anyway."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: And I don't have a Myspace, anyway. Why would I? Just a lot of people blasting music at you showing the world hundreds of out-of-focus pictures of their dogs while posting a bunch of lame memes. Though I suppose it would be nice to keep in touch with people after this show is over.

* * *

"Campers," Chris said, standing in the front of the room, "your challenge today is to write some fan fiction."

"I love fan fiction!" Lindsay exclaimed. "I love reading about sailors who have changing eye colors and rainbow hair colors and everyone loves them right when they meet her!"

"I can see she's going to do well," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"There's a lot of good fan fiction out there," Chris said. "There's even more bad fan fiction! Your challenge is to write the best possible _Total Drama _fan fiction that you can. I'll decide the best five, and the team that has at least three of those best five will be safe from elimination. In two days. See guys? I'm nice! Giving you some time to work on these!"

"How long does it have to be?" Courtney asked.

"I don't really care. One sentence, a million words, as long as it's good!" Chris said, irritated. "Though in only two days, I don't really expect any million-word epics, especially from you bunch of losers."

"I'll have you know that I'm an excellent writer!" Courtney exclaimed. "I can certainly win this for our team!"

"I wish I could," Lindsay said, looking down. "All my teachers tell me I'm the worst writer they've ever seen."

"That's horrible!" Bridgette said, angry, as she went over to hug Lindsay. "Can't believe a teacher would tell her student that. Shouldn't they get fired for that sort of thing?"

"Tenure," Noah stated flatly. "They're set for life."

"Don't really care, as that stuff isn't about me," Chris said. "But which team will win this creative writing challenge? Who will write the best story of this lot? I don't know. Maybe Courtney. She seems pretty smart. Who's going to write the worst? Bridgette or Lindsay, obviously. I mean, hello, dumb blonde alert!"

"Bridgette isn't dumb!" Lindsay shouted. "Why do you keep calling Bridgette dumb?!"

"Enough out of you, Bridgette," Chris said, irritated. "Point is, you two are idiots, and will undoubtedly give us the two most horrible stories when we come back with more _Total Drama Chris!"_

Bridgette sighed and held up her hand, holding her pointer and thumb to make an almost touching circle. "I'm **this **close to getting a dye job."


	21. Day 10, Part 2: Bridgette's Own Diary

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 21: Day 10: Part 2: Bridgette's Own Diary**

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, making his typical grand gestures as he began speaking. "Welcome back to _Total Drama Chris!" _For the past few days, our contestants have been hard at work writing the most interesting, the most inspirational fan fiction for the show that they could come up with. And legally, since we own their butts, we can actually use their ideas for the show itself. Usually legal doesn't let us do that, but we get to this time! Just hope they come up with some good ideas for us to stea--I mean, use!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: That was actually fairly difficult, but I've come up with something that I'm decently pleased with. I just hope it goes over well.

Eva: Good way to let off some steam. I kind of liked this challenge..

Sadie: That was hard, but I really think I did good! Had a lot of sugar to help me through it.  
Katie: I think I did a great job too.  
Sadie: Actually, your story kinda' scared me.  
Katie: What? It was a good story!  
Sadie: Are you sure Noah's going to like it, though?  
Katie: Of course he will! Noah's going to love it!  
Sadie: (worried) I hope you're right.

Harold: I've written fan fiction before. I posted a story once, and got ninety-six reviews in one day. Ninety-five of them were to complain that I sucked for writing a story where Sam and Jo got together. I don't see what was so wrong with it. What's so great about Sam and Dean, anyway? Looking back, it wasn't that good a story, but no one actually complained about the story itself being poorly written, just that it focused on the wrong couple.

Leshawna: I would like to dedicate my story to Gwen. Girl, I really hope you forgive me.

Trent: I would like to dedicate my story to Gwen. I love you, babe!

Tyler: I would like to dedicate my story to Lindsay. I'm gonna' show this world just how awesome you really are, babe!

Cody: It's not a very good story, but I still think Chris is going to like it.

Noah: I've written a number of fan fictions. This may be the first time someone from the actual show has ever written a fan fiction about himself, though. This was an interesting twist on a favorite past time.

Ezekiel: I don't really think I did too good, eh. I wasn't even really sure what fan fiction was, eh?

Lindsay: Oh my God, this was so totally fun! I love fan fiction, but I never really was the best at writing it. I'm really, really happy with how this one came out, though!

Bridgette: I've never read fan fiction for anything in my life, so I was really worried about this challenge. Still, I really think I've come out with a masterpiece, and I really think everyone's going to love it!

* * *

Chris was setting up a large monitor in the dining hall, while the other campers were sitting. "This is so we can all enjoy the fan fictions together, and we can all laugh at the person who actually wrote the crap. And so the home viewers can read along. Because really, what fun would the home viewer have if they couldn't read along with the material we're making fun of?"

"Ah, a classic MSTing," Noah said, smirking. "Ought to be good."

Chris looked confused. "No idea what that is."

"It's when someone mocks a story you've posted," Lindsay said, irritated. "I hate those. I've had people do that to a lot of my stories. They're never very funny, just 'ooh, look, she misspelled a word, laugh at her.'" Lindsay rolled her eyes.

Chris smiled. "Sounds awesome! But not now: first up is Courtney's story. Let's read and laugh together.

* * *

**Courtney's Day**

_It was 8:41 a.m. when Courtney woke up. She got out of bed and went to the showers to clean herself up for the day. She would get dirty again, but she'd have another shower the next morning. She washed and conditioned her hair, and used soap on the rest of her body. After the shower, she dried herself off, and dressed for the day, and headed for the dining hall for breakfast. It was here, at breakfast, that she saw her friend Bridgette. Courtney went over to talk to Bridgette._

_"Courtney, did you have a nice shower this morning?" Bridgette asked._

_"Why yes, I did," Courtney said._

_"We should eat breakfast," Bridgette said. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."_

_"Indeed," Courtney said. "Do you know what Chef is serving this morning?"_

_"Shut up," Chef Hatchet said._

_"OK," Bridgette said. "We're afraid of you, so we'll do as you insist."_

_"Hello, Courtney," Noah said. "You're much smarter than I."_

_"Thank you," Courtney said._

_"You're welcome," Noah said._

_"Hello, campers," Chris said. "Today's challenge is accounting. I hope you are all good at accounting, because in today's accounting challenge, you will all be doing accounting."_

_"That's good," Courtney said. "I'm the best accountant I know."_

_"Hooray," the Killer Bass said. "We're saved, thanks to Courtney."_

_"Aww," the Screaming Gophers said. "We're going to lose, since Courtney is on their team."_

* * *

Chris continued reading, falling asleep a few times, with Courtney smacking him back awake. "That hurts, you know," Chris whined.

"You're supposed to be reading my story!" Courtney shouted.

"Yeah, but it's kinda' boring," Chris said, yawning.

"It's about to get really good though!"

* * *

_Courtney was typing in numbers on her expensive calculator, which was better than the cheap calculators everyone else was using, to input the numbers on her forms, and she was way ahead of all the others._

_"Hello, Courtney," Duncan said._

_"That was so nice of you," Courtney said. There was a kiss. Then Courtney continued typing in more numbers on her calculator._

* * *

"See!" Courtney exclaimed. "Told you it got good! It has a bit of romance in it!"

"That was romance?" Leshawna asked, surprised.

"Of course! Me, Duncan, kiss… what else would you call it?"

"Boring," Chris said, tired. "Seriously, how long is this?"

"Well, I'm still working on the forms for a few more chapters, but eventually… well, I don't really want to spoil it."

"Spoil it," Chris said, irritated.

"Well, I win it for our team, and we celebrate!"

"I'll skip to that part," Chris said, yawning again.

* * *

_"The Killer Bass have won, thanks to the wonderful, incredible, indescribably great job Courtney did with this challenge," Chris said. "You guys should celebrate."_

_"That's good," Courtney said._

_"I know," Geoff said. "We should celebrate with a celebration, in Courtney's honor."_

_"I agree," everyone else said, and they celebrated all night long, until it was time for Courtney to get to sleep. It was a day Courtney would never forget._

* * *

"That was pathetic!" Chris shouted, irritated. "I thought you were smart or something."

"I kind of liked it," Courtney said, confused. "Did you notice the part where I--"

"We all noticed the part where you," Noah said. "You did everything. For that matter, you're the only one who did anything in that so-called story."

"I happen to be an excellent writer!" Courtney shouted. "I get straight A's on all the essays I've done for all my classes!"

"Essays aren't creative writings, honey," Leshawna said, putting a hand on Courtney's shoulder. "Essays are the things teachers make us write to quelch our creativity."

Courtney stared at Leshawna's hand, irritated. "Please remove that."

"Sorry 'bout that," Leshawna said shyly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: Well that was very by-the-numbers, insert-tab-A-into-slot-B. Seriously, does that girl have a single creative bone in her body?  
Katie: Even your calculus book is more exciting than that.  
Noah: Yeah--hey!

* * *

"So Courtney's story sucked, I think we all agree," Chris said, irritated.

"It wasn't that bad," Courtney insisted. "We had a challenge, I won it for the team, there was some romance with Duncan… it had perfect grammar!"

"I wanted to shoot myself to get it over with," Noah said, irritated.

"I wouldn't mind that," Chris said, "but for now, let's see what tripe Eva has for us!"

"Watch it!" Eva shouted.

* * *

**Erica the Strong**

_It was the start of Total Drama Island, but one contestant, Duncan, was sick and unable to join, so Chris had to find a replacement. "Campers, I would like for you all to meet Erica!"_

_Erica stepped onto the dock and immediately ran over to punch Heather out._

_"You're awesome!" Gwen exclaimed._

_"That was the awesomest thing anyone's ever done in the history of awesome!" Geoff exclaimed._

* * *

"Why did Erica just punch out Heather?" Leshawna asked, confused.

"Heather was bullying everyone," Eva stated. "Erica's just standing up to the girl."

"But Heather just got there," Leshawna said. "She didn't really do anything yet." Courtney rolled her eyes.

* * *

_Cody smiled as he and Erica were having a picnic together. "You really are the best," Cody said. "If we didn't have you around, then Heather would have taken over and started bullying everyone."_

_Erica smiled. "I look out for my friends."_

_"Yeah," Cody said. "It was great how you slit her wrist when she refused to jump off the cliff, and later you kicked her shins, sicced the Sasquatchanakwa on her, and later how you cracked her skull after she got revenge by reading your diary to the world during the talent show."_

_"Can I get out now?" Lindsay asked, from stuffed inside their picnic basket._

_"Depends," Erica said. "Have you learned your lesson?"_

_"Yes," Lindsay said. "Heather is evil beyond all reason and I should be ashamed for getting into her alliance, when you're clearly superior to her in every way and a moral guide for us all."_

_"I think she's learned," Cody said._

* * *

"That sucked," Lindsay said, irritated. "The only thing Heather ever did was get revenge on Erin after Erin did all those horrible things to her! Why were we supposed to take Ellen's side?"

"Yeah," Cody said, wide-eyed. "That was a little bit over-the-top, even for Heather.

"Heather didn't even do anything!" Leshawna shouted.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Seriously, Leshawna **has **to be doing that on purpose.

* * *

Eva shook her head. "I thought you of all people would've remembered everything Heather did."

"Well, yeah," Leshawna said, "but if this was an alternate universe deal, Heather didn't do all those mean things yet. So why was Erica picking on the poor girl?"

Eva sighed, noticing Bridgette's disapproving look. "I guess I could have toned it down slightly."

"Nonsense!" Chris exclaimed. "I rather liked it! Over-the-top violence! What beats that?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (sighing) Of course Chris liked it. Though really, Eva writing out her frustrations is a better outlet for her than actually doing all that stuff to Heather. Just that she probably should write that sort of stuff down somewhere private in the future.

* * *

"That one didn't happen," Chris said, looking freaked, as Noah buried his head in his book. "Next up is Sadie's story. How about we take a look-see at what that's about?"

* * *

**swiming in love**

_it was a pieceful day at camp wawunakwuh and the 21 campers were all getting along. all of them that is except bridget. i hate katie and sadie because im a big bully bridget said and she growled at everyone. even her old best friend cortney hated her becasue she was so mean. she even tried to steel trent away from gwen thats how mean bridget was!!1 so 1 day katie and me came up with a plan to get rid of bridget. we were going to vote bridget off that nite, so we told everyone 2 vote off bridget and we did and bridget left and jeff was happy that he didnt have his harpy of a girlfriend anymore and everyone celebarted because bridget was finally gone and we could all be happy again and 8 all nite long. the end._

* * *

Chris had no words, but his eye was twitching.

"I could barely read that, but I'm pretty sure that was meant to put Bridgette in a negative light," Courtney said, confused. "I thought everyone loved Bridgette. I even liked her last season, and I hardly liked any of you last season."

"She tried to steal Trent away from me!" Sadie shouted, angry.

"Um, I belong to Gwen," Trent said, confused.

"You're not a piece of property," Bridgette said, frustrated. "You don't belong to anyone. And I wasn't trying to steal Trent!"

Katie sighed. "I'm really sorry I started that. It's partly my fault."

"That's an understatement," Eva said, irritated. Katie glared back at her.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: A lot of people think Katie and Sadie are identical, but whoo boy, did this challenge ever prove that wrong! Sadie can't write to save her life, while Katie… well, I just wish she didn't write it for an international audience. (Noah looks around nervously.) The international audience part worries me a bit.

* * *

"Let's try to recover with a story from Harold," Chris said, irritated. "Pretty sure it'll suck, but I'm pretty sure we can at least count on capital letters from some geek in glasses." Harold glared at Chris.

* * *

**Courtney Must Die**

_It was a winter day at school, and as usual, queen bee Courtney was bossing everyone around._

_"Blah blah work harder! Blah blah I'm hungry! Blah blah give me food!"_

_Courtney's second-in-command, Lindsay, was ruling the school with an iron fist herself._

_"I'm pretty! Bow down to me, you cretins! I'm hotter than you, so you all have to do whatever I say whether you like it or not!"_

_Everyone at school hated them, but they all allowed themselves to be walked all over because they could ruin anyone for any reason. It took one brave soul--Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady V--to stop their evil tyranny. Already there was one poor girl--the beautiful Heather--who the evil Lindsay had callously shaved her head for one tiny mistake! And they did the most horrible things to Heather. They covered her in pig's blood. They sicced ninja on her. They dropped an anvil on her once. I dropped some Advil on her after to help with the headache, but later, they came up with the worst possible torture ever: forcing poor Heather to listen to new age music for the rest of her life. Harold could not bear to watch these cruel girls torturing Heather as such, so he devised a plan to rid the school of these menaces once and for all. He challenged them to a dual, and they lost, so Harold saved Heather and they were happy together._

* * *

Chris didn't look too happy. Lindsay was crying profusely while Courtney was holding Harold in the air, strangling him.

"Leave my baby alone!" Leshawna shouted, then backed down. "I mean, please leave him alone. It'd be nice not to kill him."

Courtney softened and let go off Harold, who started gasping for air. "Look, he has **no right **to treat Lindsay like that. I'm sick and tired of it!"

"Look, Courtney. Lindsay, you too," Leshawna said, worried. "Lindsay reminds Harold of this girl he knew who had him tortured over a bad date."

"I don't really like dates anyway," Lindsay said. "They're too hard to chew."

"I think Leshawna meant that Harold went out with a girl, and then the girl got everyone in the school to bully him," Courtney said.

"Oh," Lindsay said, looking down. "That's horrible!"

"And Lindsay would never do anything like that!" Courtney shouted. "Seriously: she's Lindsay!"

"Wasn't she helping Heather torture Gwen last year?" Harold asked.

"I don't get it!" Courtney shouted, exasperated. "You've forgiven Heather. Why was what Lindsay did so much worse?!"

"It wasn't," Harold said. "Heather's been through a lot, though. I can tell she's had a rough year. I'm guessing her old clique didn't like what they saw on the show last year. Lindsay's the same as ever, though! Thinking she's better than everyone else, not caring who she hurts at all--"

"That's not true!" Lindsay shouted, crying. "I do care! I hate seeing my friends getting hurt!"

"'Your friends' being the key phrase," Harold said, annoyed. "Gwen wasn't your friend last year, and you didn't care if she got hurt."

"I didn't know!" Lindsay shouted, crying more. "I didn't realize I was hurting Gloria like that! I'd never do that on purpose!"

"Just like Autumn said," Harold said, angry, crossing his arms across his chest. "Your type just don't care."

"I'm sorry!" Lindsay said, crying into Courtney's chest. "I'm sorry!" Courtney glared angrily at Harold.

Leshawna sighed as she walked over to Courtney and Lindsay. "Look, he's really not such a bad guy. He's just really hurt about what happened--"

"And he's taking it out on Lindsay, I get it," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "Taking it out on me is one thing, but Lindsay?! Tied-with-Bridgette-sweetest-girl-in-the-world Lindsay?!"

"Look, I'm sorry guys," Leshawna said, smiling, hugging Lindsay and Courtney, then quickly letting go. "Sorry, forgot, no touching."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (crying) I still don't understand what I did wrong.

* * *

"Here's one from Leshawna," Chris said. "Know how much you guys love her." Chris smirked, and Leshawna sunk back.

* * *

**Gwen**

_"Hello, and welcome to another season of Total Drama Island!" Chris exclaimed. I'm sure you'd all like to meet our campers this year, so let's start with everyone's favorite contestant, Gwen!"_

_"I really don't want to be here again," Gwen complain._

_"But the home audience loves you! 'Cause no one would watch without you guys! I need you all so that they tune in to see me!"_

* * *

"Not off to a great start," Chris said, irritated. "And stupid title, by the way."

"I like it," Courtney said.

"It's an awesome title!" Cody said, smiling, though backed down after Eva glared at him.

"It's the most perfect title ever!" Trent exclaimed. "Even the blackest of souls can write beautiful words." Leshawna looked guilty.

* * *

_"How could you do that to me?!" Gwen shouted, angry, smacking Leshawna._

_"But Heather was coming at you with that knife!" Leshawna shouted. "I had to do it!"_

_"What did that have to do with adding my name on the RCMP's most wanted list?!"_

_"Oh, that," Leshawna said, looking down. "Funny story to that: I was trying to prevent Heather from--"_

_"You stopped her when she came at me with the knife!" Gwen shouted. "What the heck was with that overly convoluted plot of yours?!"_

_"Look, girl, I'm sorry," Leshawna said. "I should've handled the situation better, but we did get rid of your worst enemy!"_

_"You mean one of my two worst enemies," Gwen stated coldly, as she was being carted off by the RCMP._

* * *

"I can't believe you did that," Lindsay said, crying a bit. "I mean, I know you did some bad things, but putting Gabby on the RCA's most wanted list just to get Heather voted off?"

"Um, that was fiction, girl, Leshawna said, comforting Lindsay. "That didn't really happen."

"I could swear you really did expose Grace's secret to the world," Lindsay said, confused. "I really, really think you did that."

"I did," Leshawna said, looking down. "That part was real. Just not the RCMP part of the knife-lunging part."

"Oh," Lindsay said slowly, nodding her head for a few seconds, then turned to Courtney with a blank look on her face. "Did you get that?"

* * *

_"Come on, Gwen! You can do it!" Trent exclaimed, as Gwen and Leshawna were racing for the finish line. Leshawna had no supporters: everyone had gone to Gwen's side to cheer her on except for Heather, who was tied up nearby, and that motivation helped Gwen cross the finish line first._

_"And Gwen has won the new season, and a check for one million dollars!" Chris exclaimed, then turned to shake his head at Leshawna. "Such a shame to see that happen to the most horrible person in the world."_

_"Don't call her that!" Gwen shouted, smacking Chris. "She made a mistake--a really, really horrible mistake--but she's trying her hardest to make it up to me. To make it up to everyone."_

_"Thanks girl," Leshawna said, smiling, as the two hugged. "After what I did to you, you deserve that million dollars."_

_"That's not important," Gwen said, smiling. "Just that we're friends again. I was miserable, staying angry at you."_

_"And I was miserable beating myself up over it. I will **never **do that to you again, girl!"_

_Chris sprayed the two with a fire hose, shooting them away. "Enough of that stupid sentimental crap. Seriously." The rest of the gang then brought out another fire hose and drenched Chris for a few hours, and Gwen and Leshawna went on to become lifelong friends_

_"Leshawna!" Harold exclaimed, holding out a rose. "I'm willing to give you another chance."_

_Leshawna smiled. "You really are some kinda' freaky! Don't ever change!" she exclaimed as she lifted Harold, giving him a tight hug, and a passionate kiss._

* * *

Chris looked irritated. "That was **way **too long!"

"But you said there was no limit!" Leshawna shouted.

"Of course there was a limit!" Chris shouted. "You think I don't have more important things to be doing than hosting this show?"

"You don't," Katie said, smirking.

"Seriously… over forty thousand words in two days? Just… how?!"

Lindsay looked sweetly at Leshawna. "You really feel that way, don't you?"

"Yes," Leshawna said, smiling back. "Yes I do. I can't tell you how much I miss Gwen."

"I can't really imagine," Lindsay said, crying a little, as she went over to hug Leshawna. "I just wish you and Heather could get along. I wish we could all be friends."

Leshawna sighed. "Look. How about if you're with me, I'll try to be civil next time I see her, OK?"

Lindsay looked down, then smiled slightly. "I guess that's a start." Courtney looked over nervously.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: OK, it was a pretty sweet story, but I didn't care for the Heather bashing. But I just worry if Leshawna might have been right about Heather. I mean, I know Heather was really nice to me, and I was the first friend she made here this year, and I don't want to betray her… oh, I really wish I knew what to do.

* * *

"Next up is Trent!" Chris exclaimed.

* * *

**Princess Gwen, the World's Most Perfect Gwen**

_Gwen was a stunning beauty: medium height, beautiful hair, cerulean and raven, porcelain skin, big, beautiful midnight orbs, a cute little nose, sculpted to perfection, the sweetest smile with the most deliciously luxurious turquoise lipstick, a perfect hourglass figure, with the most perfect not-too-small, not-too-large breasts, incredibly long and sexy legs, an exquisite charcoal corset top with long, luscious cyan and hunter sleeves, the cutest of short skirts, tar and cerulean, an incredible pair of dark stockings, and these boots that could just go on forever._

_To match Gwen's perfect beauty, which could have easily launched a thousand ships back in the day, she also had the perfect personality: Gwen was sweet, kind, intelligent, headstrong, sensitive, caring, artist, and the perfect friend to anyone, and the perfect girlfriend to a nice, relatively ordinary and far less perfect guy named Trent, because honestly, while Trent was a really great guy himself, he dared not even consider dreaming about thinking of comparing his worthlessness in the presence of the most perfect of all beings._

_One day, the wicked Heather and the cruel Leshawna, both hideous beyond all reason--so indescribably frightening, that to merely gaze at either from the corner of one's eye has been known to turn man to stone. Heather was this hideous living skeleton with no hair and tons of makeup to try to disguise itself, though still looking as if she hadn't eaten in weeks. Leshawna, on the other hand, was this morbidly obese monster who felt it necessary to eat away at Gwen's perfection until there was nothing left of her._

* * *

"I really, **really **don't like this story," Leshawna said, getting angry, but trying not to have a tantrum, breathing heavily. Lindsay looked proud, and patted her on the shouted. "Really? Obese? That's low."

"Boring so far," Chris said, yawning.

* * *

_Luckily for Gwen, of course, Trent was there to defend her honor against the wicked girls. He was ready to fight on Camp Wawanakwa, a desolate campground without many sights. There was a beach, but it was dirty, and it had a lot of litter, despite that there was seemingly no way for all of the litter to get there in the first place. There were several plastic ring holders from six-packs. Some were six-packs of Coca-Cola. Others were six-packs of Pepsi. Still, there were some that came from six-packs of Diet Coke. Why was regular called Coca-Cola, while the diet version was called Coke? Why were they not both called Coke, or both called Coca-Cola? It was a mystery that would remain unanswered, for Trent was ready to fight the wicked girls on the luscious, green grass beneath them, that would have felt so nice between Trent's toes, but if only he were barefoot he could have appreciated the sensation. But alas, it was not meant to be, as Trent had his shoes on that day. It was necessary, after all, since he was ready to fight the evil and despicable Heather and Leshawna. And he would fight them in front of the cabins, which looked to be rotting. The rotting of the wood reminded Trent of Gwen, as she was perfection, and the wood was not, and as such, the rotting wood reminded Trent of how much it was unlike Gwen, and how superior Gwen was to the rotting wood, and by extension, the cabin itself. For there was no better sensation than the beauty of Gwen, crafted to perfection, with--"_

* * *

"**Enough!**" Courtney screamed. "This story is driving me insane!"

"Me too," Lindsay said, dizzy. "I can't even remember what that was supposed to be about."

"It's poetic," Trent said, smiling. "It's deep."

"It's as purple as an annoying dinosaur," Noah stated, irritated.

"I have to agree," Chris said. "That was almost as annoying as Courtney's story. You guys really suck at fanfic."

"It's harder than it looks," Katie said, grinning. Noah hid behind his book.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: That was a really sweet story, wasn't it? I mean, I even dedicated it to Gwen, but Chris stopped reading before getting to the dedication. (Trent tears up a little.)

* * *

"Next up is Tyler," Chris said, yawning. "Can't get worse, can it?"

* * *

**Lindsay the Genius**

_One day, when Lindsay was swimming outside with Courtney and Heather, the three girls were struck by lightning. Somehow, rather than killing the girls, it allowed Lindsay to absorb the intelligence of the other two, turning Lindsay into Super Genius Girl! Smarter than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a loco Noah! It's none other than Super Genius Girl!_

_When we last left off, Lindsay was being held captive by the evil Dr. Leshawna. "Mwa ha ha! I am the evil Dr. Leshawna!"_

_"Didn't the narrator just say that?" Lindsay asked._

_"Quiet you!" Dr. Leshawna snapped. "You are in quite the predicament. In one minute, that boiling pot of oil placed precariously above your beautiful little head will come pouring out, bringing a painful death to you! But I have a row of five keys! One of them is the key to release you, but which one? You only get one chance!"_

_"It can't be the second or fourth key, because everyone picks those keys," Lindsay said. "No one would ever pick the first key, but you knew I would know that, so the first key cannot be correct. That leaves the third key and the fifth key. The third key would be too obvious at this point, but that fifth key, opposite the first, is so unassuming that you knew I would never pick it… except you knew I would do that, oh dastardly one! The fourth key will release me!"_

_"Damn it!" Leshawna shouted, releasing Lindsay from her chains. "How did you figure it out?"_

_"It's easy when you're Super Genius Girl, ha ha ha!"_

_Stay tuned next time, kids, when Super Genius Girl faces the Root Squad._

* * *

"Well that was lame," Chris said, irritated.

"That 'logic problem' didn't make any sense at all!" Courtney shouted.

"I liked it," Lindsay said, smiling. "I liked how you showed off how smart I am!"

"You are, babe," Tyler said, smiling. "Maybe not a super genius, but you're smarter than people give you credit for."

"Thanks," Lindsay said cheerfully, laying her head on Tyler's shoulder.

"Please," Leshawna begged, "do I always have to be the villain?"

"Please," Bridgette said, irritated, "do you always have to treat Heather as if you were the villain?"

"Come on, I'm tryin' here," Leshawna said. "You're supposed to be the friendly girl here. What about forgiveness?"

"What about forgiving Heather?"

"I'll do it, OK? I really miss our old friendship."

Bridgette sighed. "So do I."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I really want to forgive Leshawna. It's hard, though. I mean, that was really major. But Leshawna's also a sweet, outgoing, funny girl who'd do anything for her friends. Including exposing Gwen's diary to the world, I guess. (Bridgette smiles.) Her heart was kinda' in the right place, even if her brain wasn't.

* * *

"Wasn't as bad as Trent's at least, but let's see if we can suck even less with Cody's story!" Chris exclaimed.

* * *

**Chris Maclaine, Host Extraordinaire**

_Chris was an awesome game show host. Nay, the greatest game show host who ever lived. Nay still, the greatest person in the history of the universe! Chris is the reason most of us put effort into living each day. Without Chris, life would be drudgery. With Chris, we have reason to look forward to each new day, so in honor of Chris, a list of his greatest virtues._

_Chris is the most handsome guy in the history of the universe._

_Chris is the most charismatic guy in the history of the universe._

_Chris is the most intelligent guy in the history of the universe._

* * *

"Most intelligent. Yeah," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"This story is awesome!" Chris exclaimed. "Seriously, Noah, you guys just don't have good taste. Oh, I definitely want to see how this one ends!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: It's not about writing a great story. It's about sucking up to Chris' ego. I know the guy's tastes.

* * *

"I'm pretty sure we aren't going to top that one," Chris said, smiling, "but we have to move on anyway, so let's give it up for Noah!"

* * *

**The Wonderful Twins**

_From deep in the sky one night, a set of fraternal twins crashed down to the earth. One, Katie, had the incredible ability to change into any animal, but day to day, it was usually a cat. Either a cute little kitten a "cute" pussycat. Reow! The other, Sadie, had the ability to change into a long division problem. Together, they were the Wonderful Twins, and they fought for truth, justice, and the Canadian way!_

_One night, two high school students, Noah and mild-mannered co-worker Katherine were working late for their school newspaper. They had just conducted an important interview with the mayor, which would surely be of interest to the entire world, but alas, only their classmates and teachers would get a hold of this riveting piece of journalism, which was sure to give Noah the fame his rich mind surely deserved. And Katherine too. She was a sweet girl. Neither of them were popular yet, and Noah certainly couldn't understand why. Or, he could understand why Katherine wasn't popular: she was annoying. But Noah could see past that insufferable exterior and see Katherine was this beautiful, sweet girl on the inside, one whom anyone would fall in love with if given the chance. But Noah, the most intelligent genius in the known world, was so intelligent, that he could see past that vapid demeanor to see the deeper Katherine. But even he was not aware that Katherine, his love, was secretly Katie of the Wonderful Twins._

_"We interrupt the severe weather report for this important news bulletin," the news anchor on the conveniently-placed TV spoke. Noah didn't remember the TV being on, but it was important information, regardless. "The mayor has been kidnapped by ninjas! Are you a bad enough chick to rescue the mayor?"_

_"The mayor has been kidnapped!" Katherine screamed. "Noah, we'd better get home now. I have some… homework to do." Noah nodded and ran home,_ _while Katherine ran home to find her sister, Sarah._

_"Sarah!" Katherine exclaimed, as she busted through the door. "The mayor's been kidnapped! We need to rescue him!" The two nodded, and rushed into a conveniently-placed telephone booth inside their house, unbeknownst to others, used to change into their secret identities--purple and yellow clothes about as revealing as their normal outfits, but with miniskirts instead of short shorts--as the Wonderful Twins!_

_"Where do you think they're holding the mayor?" Sadie asked, as they were running faster than the speed of sound._

_"The old abandoned warehouse!" Katie declared. "That's always where the villains hide out!"_

_"You mean **this **mayor?" Izzy asked, dressed in a red and black harlequin outfit, holding the mayor, tied up. "If you want him back, you'll have to talk to Mistah J!"_

_Izzy moved aside to reveal Justin, dressed in a suit, bald, and an evil smile on his face. "I wanted to take control of this town, because really, someone as debonair as myself needs to put myself out there, let the world bask in my me-ness. And in order to do that, I needed to become mayor. Except I'm too young to run legally, so I just needed to get this geezer out of the way."_

_"I'm forty-three!" the mayor shouted._

_"My puddin' only lived to seven," Izzy said. "It was covered in mold, and I had to go to the hospital to have my stomach pumped, but seven years for a pudding cup is a pretty good life, I'd say."_

_"Enough of this foolishness!" Katie shouted. "It's time to put up a fight!"_

_"I don't like getting my hands dirty," Justin said. "Too beautiful to be seen with dirt, after all. Izzy, take care of these two intruders."_

_"With pleasure," Izzy said, smirking. "My license to kill may be expired, but I'm the henchwench! I break the law. It's what I do!"_

_"Wait," Katie said, confused. "You're bald. Bald guys aren't hot."_

_"Ah, but that's where you are wrong!" Justin exclaimed. "For I also plan to steal the mayor's hair! He has pretty nice hair, am I right?"_

_"Snuggly," Izzy cooed, rubbing her head against the mayor's hair, who looked quite uncomfortable with it._

_"It's time we fight, anyway!" Katie exclaimed. "Form of the bear!" And with that, Katie changed into a bear, oddly enough still wearing the same outfit._

_"Form of three hundred seventy-one thousand two hundred ninety-two divided by two hundred forty-seven!" Sadie exclaimed, as she changed into the_ _problem._

_"Math! My mortal enemy!" Justin shouted. "Requires too much thinking. Izzy, take care of--Izzy!"_

_It was too late. Izzy was distracted by trying to solve the long division Sadie as Katie the cute bear went for Justin, clawing him to near death, then clawing the ropes holding the mayor to free him._

_"Thank you girls!" The mayor exclaimed. "How can I repay you? How about a statue? Wonderful Twins Day?" The girls shook their heads. "Well, at least have some candy." The three had a laugh, and then Katie and Sadie returned home._

_The next day at school, Noah and Katherine were getting the papers prepared to hand out. "You did good, saving the mayor last night.""That wasn't me," Katherine said. "Katie and Sadie did that. I was just at home, having a quiet night, doing homework."_

_"Look," Noah said. "I'm a super genius. Emphasis on the 'genius.' You and Sarah look identical to Katie and Sadie. I really have no idea why no one else notices that."_

_"Oh Noah," Katherine said, smiling brightly. "You really are a genius!" Katherine and Noah then moved closer to give each other a passionate kiss._

* * *

"Thank you for not casting me as the villain for a change," Leshawna said.

"Don't really see Justin as the villain type though," Chris said. "Also don't see Katie and Sadie as the not-completely-useless type. Katie and Sadie, superheroes… that's a riot!"

"But superheroes are make believe," Lindsay said, confused. "I mean, aren't they just as likely to be superheroes as me?"

"Yes," Chris said, annoyed. "Which just proves my point."

"I liked it," Katie said, snuggling up to Noah. "How come I was in it so much more than Sadie was, though?"

"You were?" Noah asked. "Um… I didn't really notice."

"It's OK," Katie said, caressing Noah's hair, with Noah blushing.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: Like we don't know why you were in it more than I was.  
Katie: He digs me.  
Sadie: I know! That's so sweet!  
Katie: I know!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

* * *

"Not bad. Next up is Ezekiel. Ought to be fun," Chris said, faking enthusiasm.

* * *

**Ezekiel's Story**

_Ezekiel and Izzy went on a date with Bridgette and Geoff, and they all had an enjoyable night._

* * *

"I love it!" Chris exclaimed. "So short! So just what I needed after all of these miserable stories!"

Bridgette shrugged. "It was kind of sweet, but it was a little, well, short. And nothing really happened."

"Better than Courtney's or Trent's eternal drone fests, at least," Leshawna said, smiling. Courtney and Trent glared. "Oh, come on, it was all in fun, we're all friends here!"

"Not really," Courtney said.

"You're dead to me," Trent quietly stated, angry.

"Don't really care," Chris said. "Up next is Lindsay's story. Pretty sure we all know this'll suck."

* * *

**Too of a Kind**

_It was a stormy night at Camp Wawukunaw, and Latonya was voted off the island, since no one liked her after she stole Gretchen's dairy and told everyone about how Gretchen was sacred that she was pregnant. When Latonya got to the Player Day Losers, everyone was really mean. Like really mean. They were all throwing tomatoes and eggs and other hi calorie carbs at her. Latonya was really lonely. Sure, she did something really mean, but she was felt bad about it, and wanted everyone to forgive her._

_A year ago, it was a nice day at Camp Wawukunaw, and Heather was voted off the island, since no one licked her after she stole Gretchen's diarrhea and told everyone about how Gretchen had a crush on Tyler. When Heather got to the Player Day Losers, everyone was really mean. Super mean! They were all throwing tomatoes and eggs and a hole lot of other cars at her. Heather was really lonely, even though she didn't care at the time. But as time past, Heather started feeling really bad about it, and wanted everyone to forgive here._

_But now, Latonya was al alone, and really sad. Heather new what that was like, so she went over to talk to Latonya and make up. Heather apologized for everything she did, and Latonya apologized for everything shed id as well. They hugged and made up, and realized that they both deserved a second chance, and became best of friends. And as a team, they got everyone else to except them as well, even Gretchen, who really hated both off them! And everyone was happy!_

* * *

Leshawna smiled, tearing up slightly, and hugged Lindsay. "Thank you, girl!"

"You're welcome," Lindsay said, smiling. "I know you're not all bad."

"Lovely sap fest," Chris said, irritated. "Seriously, that was the absolute worst piece of dreck ever! Ever hear of this thing called spell check?"

"Of course!" Lindsay said indignantly. "I'm not **that **stupid! I always use spell check! I'm terrible at spelling, and it always helps me figure out what word I meant."

"No one licked her after she stole 'Gretchen's' diarrhea?" Chris said, chuckling to himself. Most of the others were trying to hold back, but they couldn't completely.

"That's not what I wrote!" Lindsay shouted, angry. "I wrote 'no one liked her after she stole Greta's diary'! I could have sworn I spell checked it."

"Bad idea to rely solely on that," Noah said. "Computer isn't very good at guessing what word you mean. Computers are stupid."

"Really?" Lindsay asked, confused. "But I thought computers were supposed to be smart. Like, really really smart."

"I thought it was a nice sentiment," Bridgette said, smiling. "We all know what you meant. That was a sweet story, Lindsay."

"Thank you!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I don't know… should I lighten up on Heather? I mean, I know that girl's evil, but Lindsay's just so sweet and darlin'. It'd break her heart if I didn't at least try.

Bridgette: Lindsay was right. I really should try to forgive Leshawna. I mean, I forgave Heather, and she did pretty horrible things as well. I don't really know why I'm finding it so difficult.

* * *

"Last up is the other idiotic blonde we have, Bridgette's story," Chris said. "Probably saving the worst for last. Guess we'll find out."

"Bridgette's not an idiot!" Lindsay shouted.

Chris shook his head. "Always knew the brainless blondes would stick up for each other."

* * *

**Total Bridgette Island**

_I had sent in an audition tape to some cool new show called Total Drama Island. I probably wasn't going to get picked, since I might have been relatively boring. I mean, I've seen reality show contestants before: they tend to pick the hottest people with the most bizarre personalities. I was pretty sure they try to make sure to get people who are going to pick fights with others, but I wasn't like that. I was just a friendly, plain-looking girl._

* * *

"You're kidding, right?" Trent asked. "You're like the second hottest girl here!" Bridgette blushed.

"Yeah, like second, right after Lindsay," Tyler said, nodding in agreement.

"You mean Gwen," Trent said.

"No, I think Tyler had it right," Lindsay said, smiling innocently.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I think guys just tell me that to make me feel better about myself. I'm nothing special. I mean, I'm a nice person, but I'm nothing special to look at. I'm not ugly, but I'm just, well, plain. But then, it happens: you get to know a person, and suddenly they look better in your eyes. It's probably a case of that.

* * *

_I knew the guys were suckers. Really thinking that I wasn't going to be able to stand on my hands for twenty minutes. This was going to be easy. At least it should have been: I'd accidentally gotten my foot tangled in a rope holding up one of the lights. I tried to get it loose, but the light wound up falling down, hitting Courtney's head and smashing her violin._

_I felt terrible. I really hated when I hurt people like that. Chef saw Courtney and quickly determined that she was going to be OK, thank God! I couldn't have lived with myself if she'd been permanently disabled because of me. We were really close, but Courtney definitely had a temper, and she let me know how angry she was. Surprisingly, she seemed less upset that I'd hurt her, and more upset that her violin was broken. I could understand to some extent: I mean, I'd have been really upset myself if something happened to my favorite board, but at the same time, it was just a violin. Better than if Courtney had something serious. Still, after yelling at me, she apologized. We'd really bonded a lot during the challenge. She'd left a bad impression during the first challenge, and I really hadn't given her much of a chance since then, but despite her faults, she was really a pretty nice girl._

* * *

"This is lame," Chris said. "And long. Seriously, how do you guys write so much in two days?"

"I liked it," Courtney said. "I never realized you didn't like me at first, though."

"It's OK," Bridgette said, hugging Courtney. "Just took me a while to see your better qualities."

"How come the only time you even mentioned me at all was to say I was bullying Heather on top of the cliff?" Leshawna asked, irritated.

"We were on different teams," Bridgette said. "That was the only thing I remember you doing at that point. It looked like you were being mean to Heather." Leshawna was about to say something, but backed down.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Come on, I'm sure a lot of fans had a bad impression of Leshawna after that incident. It's really not a good way to judge someone, and I wish I hadn't. Just like I wish we'd given Ezekiel more of a chance… except if we did that, then Courtney would've left, and I'd be wishing we'd given her more of a chance instead. It's just hard when you don't have anything else to go on.

* * *

_I was scared out of my mind: why did Eva want to kill me? I knew Eva was mean before we voted her off, but now I was starting to think she was a possible murderer! I don't even know why she kept insisting that I told her to get anger management: I'd never said anything like that! Thankfully, Leshawna was there to stand up for me. Leshawna turned out to be a great friend, and I was glad I was getting to know her better. She seemed like another Eva at first, threatening her teammates, but as I got to really know her, she turned out to be a great friend, and was always there to look out for her friends. I wasn't sure if Leshawna could actually take Eva on, and I would have felt really bad if she got hurt because of me, but thankfully it didn't get to that point._

* * *

"Seriously. Lame," Chris said. "This isn't even a real story! It's fan **fiction!** Emphasis on the 'fiction.' Real life isn't fiction!"

"I like it," Eva said, glaring at Chris. "You can talk to me if you have a problem with the story." Chris looked away, nervous. Eva then turned to Bridgette. "I really was that bad. I'm still sorry I did that to ya'." Eva punched Bridgette lightly on the arm, though Bridgette reacted as if it hurt.

"I like it too," Leshawna said, smiling. "Glad you finally noticed I wasn't a bully."

"Until I re-noticed it," Bridgette said, irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I'm never going to live this down, am I? Maybe I don't deserve forgiveness. (Leshawna sighs.)

* * *

_It was just me and Duncan. One of us would get the stale marshmallow, while the other was going home. He looked so confident, so uncaring. I was a nervous wreck. I was really hoping the girls could pull together to get Duncan voted off, but alas, the final marshmallow went to Duncan. My heart sunk. I didn't really know what I could have done differently, but it was me, and I had to leave. I really didn't understand how he lasted so long: he was a bully. He had a softer side, but he'd always treated me poorly, to this very day. He didn't even care that his supposed best friend Geoff liked me. I figured he was probably jealous that Geoff still had his girlfriend around, while Duncan's was voted off. Unfairly, I might add, though I still wasn't exactly sure how that happened._

_Geoff called out to me as I was walking to the Boat of Losers to tell me that he didn't vote for me. I believed him: Geoff wasn't a liar. Not like Duncan. We were about to kiss, but for some reason, he ran off before we locked lips. I was pretty sure it was the stench, though he really should've been able to tolerate it for that short a time. I would have done it for him, but there wasn't much I could do about it, so I just climbed onto the boat and waved goodbye. My time on Total Drama Island was over. And all I could do was reflect on that time. Or so I thought. Little did I realize that I it wasn't quite over yet._

* * *

"OK, finally!" Chris shouted. "That was ridiculously long! But it's finally over!"

"Not quite," Bridgette said, smirking. "There's still part two: _Playa' des Bridgette."_

"No," Chris said, irritated. "We're not reading anymore of this suckfest! And besides, it's supposed to have been fan-**fiction. **Not fan non-fiction! Which isn't even supposed to be possible!"

"But it's important to read that to get the full impact of the story," Bridgette said, angry. "You can't just discount that!"

"Sorry, but I am," Chris said.

"The girl wants you to read her story!" Leshawna shouted. "I can always make you want to read it."

"So can I," Eva said menacingly.

"Don't care!" Chris shouted.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (covered in bandages) This was far, far less painful than having to read more of that crap! Seriously! Worst story ever!

* * *

Chris was standing before the campers as Chef was patching Chris up. "You should probably sit down," Chef said, irritated.

"This is fine," Chris said. "Anyway, I have determined the winners. The greatest story, of course, was Cody's, which was all about me! Just as everyone else's should've been!" Cody smiled meekly. "You can give a speech if you want, dude."

"Not really," Cody said, ducking down. "I was kind of ashamed to actually write that stuff down."

Chris growled for a moment before composing himself. "Second place goes to Ezekiel for his short story. Emphasis on 'short.' More people could have taken a hint from that. Score is Screaming Pansies two, Killer Chrises zero so far."

Ezekiel just buried his head into his tuque. "I really doon't deserve it."

"You said there was no limit!" Bridgette shouted.

"I lied!" Chris barked back. "And for once, I didn't even know I was lying at the time, but I was, OK?!"

"You need to calm down!" Chef ordered.

"Fine," Chris said, then mumbled something to himself. "In third place, for her great piece on Erica, Eva's story, giving the Killer Chrises a point!"

"You're too kind," Eva said, still irritated.

"For fourth place, for a fairly decent story, even if I don't get the whole Katie and Sadie superhero thing, Noah!"

"Of course I had to be in the top five," Noah said. "And Katie and Bridgette had the best two stories of all of us, so our team is actually going to win again!"

"Are you crazy?!" Chris shouted. "Bridgette's story was the worst! And I already told you why Katie's story couldn't win!"

"Um, no you didn't," Katie said, irritated. "You just said we could never speak of it again."

"And if her story won, we'd be speaking of it again! Fifth place, simply because her story sucked less than a lot of everyone else's stories, is Leshawna, securing victory for the Screaming Pansies once more!"

"But that's not fair!" Lindsay shouted, angry. "Everyone loved Bridgette's and Katie's stories, and Noah's was really good too! They deserved to win!"

"Not to sound like a sore winner, but I actually kind of agree. Their team should have won," Courtney said, nervous.

"Look, I don't like your team," Chris said, irritated. "But as much as I would love to just declare your team the losers, their stories were just so abysmally terrible, that I can't do that! Seriously, effort people!"

"I put my all into that story!" Bridgette screamed.

"So did I!" Katie screamed as well, lunging for Chris, but being held back by Bridgette.

"It'll be OK," Bridgette said, glaring at Chris. "I promise."

* * *

Katie: I'm so glad we got over our fight.  
Sadie: So so glad! I hate when we fight.  
Katie: Oh my God, me too!  
Sadie: I love it when we agree.  
Katie: Anyway, even though she's actually kind of nice, we have to vote off Eva.  
Sadie: She is kind of nice?  
Katie: Yes. It's just that you're my best friend, Noah's my boyfriend, and Bridgette's like the nicest person here!  
Sadie: Even nicer than me?  
Katie: Duh. But don't worry, 'cause she's nicer than me too.  
Sadie: Aww, that's so sweet!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

Eva: Are Katie and Sadie still fighting? I'm not sure, but I guess I'll find out if I'm leaving tonight or not. I would've preferred voting off Katie, since she really grates on me, but Bridgette convinced me to vote for Sadie.

Bridgette: I'm sorry Sadie. You're a really sweet girl, but I remember last year. You couldn't really handle being in the competition by yourself. I hope Katie can.

* * *

Bridgette, Eva, Noah, Katie, and Sadie were sitting on five tree stumps around a campfire, as Chris stood before them, speaking ominously. "Campers, you have failed again. Your team is particularly adept at doing just that."

"We're really tired of this," Bridgette said, irritated. "Just get on with it."

"Well, if your team would stop losing like the bunch of losers you are, then I could stop doing this so often!" Chris said, quite agitated. "If I call your name, come up to receive your marshmallow. There are five of you, but only four marshmallows on this plate. If you do not receive a marshmallow, then you are out of the game, and you can never come back! **Ever**!"

"You can stop saying that part," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "No one really believes you."

"You'll find out soon enough, when no one comes back. Then you'll be all 'Chris was right after all. We should have listened to him.'"

"We'll see, won't we?" Katie said, narrowing her eyes.

"Yes we will, Katie, but you won't yet. You get the first marshmallow."

Katie clapped to herself, then rushed up to get her marshmallow.

"Noah, you also get one." Noah walked up to collect his marshmallow, and he and Katie hugged.

"Bridgette, you too," Chris said. Bridgette walked up to get her marshmallow, and Katie got her into a group hug along with Noah. Noah didn't look happy being squeezed in this manner.

Still, Eva and Sadie were sitting on their stumps. Sadie was looking worried, while Eva looked almost resigned to her fate. After the hug, Katie looked like a nervous wreck. Bridgette looked worried as well, though less so. "Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the night. The one of you who does not receive this marshmallow must immediately leave the island. And the final marshmallow of the night goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Eva."

Eva smiled slightly, but then looked down to Sadie, who collapsed to the ground, sobbing. "You'll be OK," Eva said gently.

Katie was in shock though, and pushed Bridgette. "How could you?! How could--wait." Katie paused for a moment as she came to a realization. "If Sadie and I voted for Eva, that means there were three votes for Sadie." Katie pushed Noah down. "You voted for Sadie!"

"Wasn't that the plan?" Noah asked, irritated. "You were angry at Sadie, I tried to talk you out of it, you insisted that Sadie had to go down, and a lot of boring stuff… you wanted Sadie gone!"

Katie paused for a moment, then started sobbing as she rushed off to Sadie. "I'm sorry, Sadie! It really is my fault!"

"But you didn't vote for me," Sadie said, still crying uncontrollably.

"But I told Noah to, and I guess I forgot to tell him we made up. I really am just a whiny immature brat."

"I forgive you, Katie!" Sadie exclaimed, picking herself up, and helping Katie up as well. "And you know, I really was miserable when you left last year. Maybe you'll be stronger than I was."

"I don't know," Katie said, still crying a lot.

"I think you can do it," Bridgette said, walking over. "I'm really sorry we had to do that, but I was worried you two and Noah were too strong of a voting block, and Eva and I didn't have a chance."

"It's OK," Katie said. "That's part of the game."

"It was kind of mean, though," Bridgette said, looking guilty.

Katie smiled. "You really can be too nice sometimes. I need some of that to rub off on me."

"Dock of Shame, already," Chris said, annoyed, looking at a watch.

"I'm just saying bye to Sadie," Katie said, looking miserable.

"I would really like to get out of here, though, so if we could just hurry it along--"

"How about you shut up and be patient?!" Eva shouted, holding up a fist.

Chris backed down. "As I was saying, we can wait. Didn't really have any important plans. Not like you could be keeping me from my hot date."

"You don't have a date," Noah said.

"You don't know that!" Chris shouted.

"Yeah, we do know," Bridgette said, giggling.

"Stop that!" Chris yelled.

Katie and Sadie walked together over to the Boat of Losers, with Bridgette, Eva, and Noah following. Sadie climbed into the boat.

"Bye bye!" Sadie said, smiling. "I'll miss you guys! Especially you, Katie! Please don't die without me!" The others all waved back.

Katie smiled brightly, though still crying. "I'll make it for you, Sadie!" Katie looked over to Noah, who smiled back at her. "I'm gonna' make it after all!"

"Too bad you don't have a beret to throw into the air," Noah said.

"Huh?" Katie asked, confused. Bridgette giggled.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: OK, Noah explained that to me later. Seriously though, that show was on before I was born! How was I supposed to know about it?

Bridgette: Look, I know _Mary Tyler Moore _is old, but it was also a classic that was in reruns for years. I'm really surprised someone my age wouldn't remember it.

* * *

Chris was standing behind the others on the Dock off Shame. "And so, the team of misfits has lost yet another member."

"Watch what you say, bub," Eva said, glaring at the host, who winced.

"OK. The Screaming Pansies are inexplicably creaming The Killer Chrises! Will they lose again next time? Probably. Who will get voted off when they do lose next time? Probably Eva. I'd really rather see Katie go, insufferable as the girl is, or Bridgette, who was really **supposed **to be the very first person voted off." Chris shook his head.

"I don't really get why you hate Katie so much," Bridgette said, angry. "What did she ever do to you?"

"Kicked him in the balls and took over the monster truck challenge," Katie said nonchalantly.

Bridgette smiled. "I'm sorry I missed that!"

"Yeah," Noah agreed. "Katie rocked that day."

"May I continue?" Chris said, annoyed. "I don't get Geoff at all. Don't get why he saved Bridgette."

"Because she's a beautiful person inside and out, and the nicest one here probably," Eva stated.

"Fine," Chris said, angry. "Still, all signs point to Eva being the next person to go, whether I agree with it or not. And I don't. But regardless of how predictable it is, it's still going to be our most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, next time on _Total Drama--"_

"Sadie!" Katie exclaimed, beaming, as she leapt into the air, using Chris' shoulders as launching pads for her hands, knocking Chris to the ground in the process. The others laughed.

"I really, **really **despise when you guys do that!" Chris shouted.

* * *

Sadie climbed out of the boat, onto the dock at the Playa' des Losers, where DJ was waiting for her.

DJ sighed. "Hi Sadie."

"I remember you," Sadie said, irritated. "You were that guy who was mean to us! Especially Katie!"

DJ gulped, looking down. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Sadie asked. "But I thought you were really angry with me and Katie."

"I lost my cool. I shouldn't have done that."

"Aww," Sadie went, then glomped DJ. "So glad you're nice again!"

"Izzy said I should," DJ said. "She can be quite persuasive."

"You should have seen her the other day, when she showed us this video of--"

"Leshawna confessing to the diary thing with Gwen. We saw that too."

"Oh," Sadie said. "Sorry. I thought I was giving you guys big news."

"It's OK," DJ said, smiling. "Just don't bother Gwen too much. She's taken it kind of hard."

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Sadie  
Eva: Sadie  
Katie: Eva  
Noah: Sadie  
Sadie: Eva

Sadie: 3  
Eva: 2

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Heather, Gwen, Justin, Owen, Sadie

Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Eva, Katie, Noah

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Trent, Tyler

* * *

Everyone hates Sadie anyway, right? She and Katie are the show's two least popular characters after all, right? …yeah, OK. I didn't want to have to do it either. Certain things have to be done, though, and this was one of them.

Keeping Sadie around actually changed the story's entire direction: she was originally slated to be the second person to go home, while DJ was originally going tenth. Except I really loved writing for Sadie, and kinda' hated writing for DJ, so I changed things considerably to work the story in a different direction. I really think the story is better for the current direction.


	22. Day 11, Part 1: That's Not My Name

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 22: Day 11: Part 1: That's Not My Name**

Bridgette and Lindsay were standing on the Dock of Shame. Bridgette was smiling sweetly and waving into the camera, while Lindsay was looking confused. "Last time on _Total Drama Friendship--"_

"That was the name of the show?" Lindsay asked. "I really thought it was _Total Drama Chris."_

"Do you really like that name though?" Bridgette asked.

"No," Lindsay said, looking down. "It's a stupid name. It doesn't even make any sense!" Lindsay exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. "Who's Chris, anyway?"

Bridgette giggled a bit before continuing. "Anyway, last time on the show, we had to write our own fan fictions."

"Mine was terrible," Lindsay said, tearing up a bit.

"No it wasn't!" Bridgette said, trying to cheer Lindsay up.

"But Kevin said it was terrible."

Bridgette rolled her eyes. "He's too stupid to know a sweet story when he sees one."

"Your story was the best, though," Lindsay said, smiling brightly. Bridgette blushed. "Anyway, we all wrote all sorts of fan fiction, but even though none of them had any sparkly poos, Clyde still decided that Cory's story was the best." Lindsay paused for a moment. "Wasn't he the one who wrote that story that just sucked up to Calvin?"

"Yes, he was," Bridgette stated.

"That was actually a pretty bad story. I don't get why Colin said it was the best."

"Because it was sucking up to him," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes. "Chris is a sucker for flattery."

"Oh," Lindsay said, sounding like she understood, even though she likely did not.

"In the end, the Screaming Pansies won," Bridgette said.

"Yay!" Lindsay exclaimed, pumping her fist. "That's how we Killer Pennies roll!"

"Except my team lost," Bridgette said, slightly annoyed.

"Oh, yeah," Lindsay said, looking down. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's OK. It's part of the game. Also part of the game was having to conspire with Eva to get Sadie voted off."

"That's horrible!" Lindsay shouted, looking disgusted. "Erica works out a lot, so she probably conspires a whole lot. She really needs some deodorant."

Bridgette sighed. "It was horrible. I felt bad about it, but we are running out of people to vote off. I'm really worried what's going to happen the next time we lose."

"I know," Lindsay said, looking worried. "They could even vote me off!"

"Actually," Bridgette started, but decided to drop it. "Well, hopefully you get to stay."

"Yay!" Lindsay cheered, beaming, and hugging Bridgette.

"But which team is going to win today?" Bridgette asked, smiling. "Which team will lose? And who is going to be sent home in what's going to be the most nerve-wracking campfire ceremony yet if my team loses. I really hope we don't."

"I want your team to win, too,' Lindsay said, smiling, then looked confused. "I also want my team to win, though. This is tough."

"It's OK, Lindsay," Bridgette said, patting Lindsay's shoulder. "Either way, something interesting is bound to happen, coming up now, on _Total Drama Friendship!"_

Izzy walked toward the two girls, shaking her head. "Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the name. I mean, anything beats _Total Drama Chris, _but that's just too sappy. You need to try something fun, like _Total Drama Blondes, _since you're both blondes. Or _Total Drama Comeback, _to name the show after my Zekey."

"Your Zekey?" Lindsay asked, confused. "You like Zekey? Um… who's Zekey?"

"Ezekiel," Bridgette said. "How is that naming the show after Ezekiel, exactly?" Bridgette asked, smiling.

Izzy shrugged. "Just trust me, the name fits. Or we could call it _Total Drama Cotton Candy, _since everyone loves cotton candy! It's like eating a cloud! I should know, since once when I went skydiving, I ate this cloud that was shaped like a bicycle. Or maybe it was a lamp post… I'm not really sure, but it tasted just like cotton candy!"

"Where is Chris, anyway?" Bridgette asked. "Doesn't he usually do these intros?"

"Chris couldn't make it, so he wanted you two to do it for him."

"Why am I doubting that?" Bridgette asked, smirking.

"I think we shouldn't push it," Lindsay answered, also smirking.

"Smart girl," Izzy said, smiling.

* * *

Katie was sobbing into Noah's lap in front of their cabin. Noah looked like he had no clue what he was supposed to do, and just stood there. Cody was sitting there as well, looking uneasy.

"It'll be OK," Cody said. Katie just started bawling more.

"It won't be OK!" Katie yelled. "Sadie… Sadie's gone! How is that going to be OK?!"

"Aren't you closer with Bridgette now?" Noah asked. "She's still here."

Katie sighed. "Bridgette's close with everyone. I don't know how she does it, but I'm pretty sure she's closer to her other friends, anyway."

"I really don't think she plays favorites," Cody said. "I mean, not counting Geoff. But that's different."

"I'm just an annoying stupid girl," Katie said. "Look at all the annoying stupid things I did just this season. Getting mad at Bridgette, getting mad at Noah--"

"That was partly my fault," Noah said.

"Or completely your fault," Cody said. Noah ducked down. "But really, look how close Bridgette and Geoff are. He's not exactly the smartest guy here."

"He'd have trouble beating Lindsay in a game of _Jeopardy!," _Noah said.

"Point is that Bridgette isn't really worried about that."

"So you two agree that I'm annoying and stupid," Katie said, smirking.

"Tha--that's not what I meant!" Cody said, nervous. "I mean, Bridgette doesn't care whether you are or aren't smart."

"Of course that's not what you meant," Noah said, smirking.

"Noah, make him stop! He's being mean to me!" Katie said mockingly, then started giggling.

"You sound better," Bridgette said, smiling, walking up to the trio.

"A little, maybe," Katie said, looking back down. "It's just… Sadie's gone. Sadie's really great at cheering me up. But she's gone! She didn't deserve to go!"

"No one really deserved to go. Someone had to go, though. That's just how the game is played."

"But our team should have won!" Katie shouted, crying. "Your story, Noah's story, my story, it should've been a lock! Cody, I'm sorry, but your story sucked!"

"I know," Cody said, looking guilty. "It wasn't about writing a good story, though. It was about writing something Chris would like."

"And not writing something he wasn't going to let air on TV," Noah said. "I mean, that was… well, it was better than anything like that had any right to be, but it was also rather embarrassing on my part. Have you really so little shame?"

Katie shrugged. "Not really. Doesn't bother me what other people think of me."

"Weren't you just complaining about Bridgette not liking you enough?"

"I like Katie a lot!" Bridgette said, defending herself.

"Well, I care a little," Katie said. "I don't want to change who I am just to please people, but it doesn't mean I want to make people hate me, either!"

"But I do like you Katie!" Bridgette exclaimed. "You're a sweet girl!"

"But you like everyone," Cody said. "Katie thinks you like your other friends more than her."

"That's not true!" Bridgette exclaimed.

"Courtney, Lindsay, Eva… I've noticed," Katie said. "It's OK. I accept that I'm just one of your sub-friends."

"Sub-friends?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"You know, just someone you hang out with when all your other friends are busy."

Bridgette sighed. "I don't do that. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression, but I love all my friends." Bridgette glared at Noah. "Can't say I'm crazy about you right now, though."

"Aww, Noah's great," Katie said, worried.

"And apparently forgot about how I helped him make up with you after that fight."

"Look," Noah said, irritated, "someone has to be voted off, and I saw no reason it shouldn't be you."

"I didn't want it to be you," Katie said, smiling at Bridgette. "Even if I'm just a sub-friend--"

"You're not a sub-friend," Bridgette said, exasperated.

"OK," Katie said, "but even if I was, you've been so nice, and I'd hate to vote you off. Eva's just less nice."

"I think Eva's pretty nice," Cody said.

"You don't count," Katie said. "We all know what you think." Bridgette looked confused, but after a few seconds, had a huge grin on her face.

Noah slapped his face. "Well, **now **everyone does."

"Ooh… I'm sorry," Katie said. "Bridgette, pretend you didn't figure anything out just then."

"It's OK. I kind of suspected. I mean, I did notice who 'Erica' liked in that story," Bridgette said, finger-quoting the "Erica." "Besides, Eva might like having a girl she can talk to about it. She's probably afraid to open up."

"'Eva' and 'afraid' aren't two words you usually hear in the same sentence." Cody said.

"I think it might be good for her, though," Bridgette said, then turned to Katie. "I'm really sorry about voting Sadie off."

"It was partly my fault for the fight," Katie said. "I understand why you did it, though. No one else really deserved to go, either." Bridgette smiled.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: I don't really get you. I usually prefer to confess in her alone.  
Katie: It feels good to bare your soul with a friend, though!  
Noah: I'm not exactly Sadie, though. I don't exactly go "eeeiii" all the time.  
Katie: That's OK. (Katie glomps Noah.) You're my BBFFL!  
Noah: Lucky me.  
Katie: Pfft. I know you love me!  
Noah: Sometimes I forget why.  
Katie: I'll remind you! (Katie turns the camera off.)

Lindsay: (turning the camera on.) I hope that was recording, because I kind of forgot what I just said.

* * *

"Hi Leshawna," Courtney said as she was walking up to her, sitting by herself, looking sad. "I was hoping I could talk to you about something."

"Really?" Leshawna asked, hopeful. "I mean, I'm glad you trust me again--"

"It's not that so much as that I'm wondering about Heather," Courtney said. "That, and Lindsay complains why I try to approach the matter."

"Is this about that Jewel chick?" Leshawna asked.

"No! I mean… well, I was just wondering how do I really know that Heather has truly changed?"

"You don't," Leshawna answered. "And she hasn't. All the horrible things she did to us all last year… she's waiting for us to get our guards down, and then she was gonna' strike. We don't have to worry about Heather."

"You say that as if Heather were still some monster," Courtney said, nervous. "I mean, really, what has Heather done to make me doubt her sincerity?"

"Well, she--"

"This year," Courtney said, irritated with how she knew Leshawna was going to answer.

"Nothin'. She ain't done nothing' this year. Yet. But we all know she was gonna' strike. Deep down, I think you know it too."

"Deep down, I know she's a sweet girl," Courtney said, "but logically, I can't think of any reason that girl would have told us anything if she weren't trying to help us. And logically, I know that gut feelings are worthless, but still, my heart is telling me that my brain is wrong, and I hate this feeling! I wish I knew what to do!"

"You should relax," Leshawna said. "She lost. She's gone. She can't hurt us anymore."

"I can't relax, though," Courtney said, sitting down next to Leshawna. "I don't know what to believe. What if, by my befriending Heather early on, I happened to sign everyone's death sentence here?"

Leshawna sighed. "Maybe you did. And you made a mistake, but I can't really hold it against you forever."

"You seem pretty good at not letting go of grudges, though," Courtney said, glaring at Leshawna.

"With good reason!" Leshawna shouted. "I mean, Heather's up to somethin', and we need to make sure she doesn't get away with it!"

"Are we sure she's up to something, though?" Courtney asked, unsure of herself.

"Girl's always up to somethin'! And we need to put a stop to it!"

"Lindsay thinks I'm being paranoid, though."

Leshawna shook her head. "Look, she's a nice girl and all, but she's missing a few marbles. You know you're smarter than she is!"

"I guess," Courtney said, looking down.

"And us two are smart enough to know that Heather's up to somethin'!"

"Wait," Courtney said, trying to wrap her mind around the conversation, "we don't know anything!"

"But we do know that Heather is bad news," Leshawna said. "Just need to find out what the girl's up to."

"I guess," Courtney said, shrugging.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: OK, I know Lindsay's been closed-minded to the whole idea of Heather possibly being up to something sinister, but Leshawna's a bit too closed-minded in the other direction, believing that there's no chance that Heather could be an innocent victim. I really wish I could talk to something without these biases to help me figure this out.

* * *

Harold was practicing what looked like karate on the Dock of Shame, as Lindsay shyly walked up to him.

"What'cha doin'?" Lindsay asked, swaying innocently.

"Nothing that someone like you would understand," Harold said."

"Aww, come on Henry," Lindsay asked, smiling.

"That's not my name!" Harold shouted.

"I love that song!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming, before singing at a mediocre level. "They call me Mel, they call me Chelsea, they call me--"

"Not that!" Harold shouted. "My name is Harold!"

"I know that, silly," Lindsay said, giggling.

"Then what's my name?"

"Katie sings it. Just like the girl who likes Nigel!"

"Not that!" Harold yelled. "**My **name! **My **name!"

"Katie, duh," Lindsay said, smirking. "Ha! Bet you thought I'd get it wrong!"

"It's not Katie!" Harold yelled, waving his arms. "That's a girl's name! It's Harold! Harold!"

"Oh," Lindsay said, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry Henry."

"Harold! Seriously, you know Courtney's name, that evil little witch, and you don't even know my name?!"

"Well, you're kind of mean," Lindsay said, worried. "Please don't hit me."

"I wasn't going to hit you," Harold said, irritated. "Gosh!"

"You just seem so angry, Henry" Lindsay said, looking as if she were on the verge of crying.

"Harold!" Harold screamed. "It's Harold! Stop calling me Henry!"

"OK Henry," Lindsay said, scared.

"**Stop that! **How can anyone stand you?!"

"I was just trying to be nice," Lindsay said, crying. "I'm not Autumn. I wouldn't do that to--"

"You remember **her **name?!" Harold yelled. "You remember Autumn's name, who you've heard **once**, and you don't remember my name?! Of course! You are Autumn! Of course you know your own name!"

"No, I'm Lindsay," Lindsay said, confused.

"No you're not, you're Autumn!" Harold yelled. "Say, Autumn, it's a nice day, isn't it?"

"But I'm Lindsay," Lindsay said, crying.

"So how does it feel Autumn? Huh? Huh?" Harold shouted, poking Lindsay's arm.

"I'm not Autumn! I'm Lindsay!" Lindsay shouted, crying profusely. "I don't get why Heather likes you, Henry!" Lindsay ran off, crying.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: So Lindsay can dish it out, but when someone calls her by the wrong name, all of a sudden she doesn't like it, does she? Now she knows how it feels.

Lindsay: Why did Henry keep calling me Autumn?! I'm not Autumn… I'm nice! (Lindsay pauses, looking confused.) I think I'm nice, at least… has someone been using me to torment Henry like I did to Glenda last year? I'm really sorry I did that, Glenda!

* * *

"Heather hasn't changed," Trent said, looking angry, with Courtney looking concerned. "She's an evil little witch who's determined to make Gwen's life miserable." Trent thought about it for a moment. "I'm surprised she and Leshawna don't get along."

"I was really hoping for some help," Courtney said, nervous.

"And I'm helping," Trent said. "Heather is bad news, and no matter what she says, she can't be trusted."

Courtney sighed. "Did you even listen to a word I said?"

"Yes. Some girl you met at the spa said that Heather was plotting something. Sounds like the Heather we all know to me."

"But what if she was lying?" Courtney said, concerned. "She could have been lying."

"But Heather would do something like that," Trent said, shrugging. "We all know what she's like."

"Was like," Courtney said. "She's not like that anymore."

"Then why did you ask me if you already supposedly knew that?" Trent asked.

"Because, well," Courtney said, stuttering, "urgh! You just don't get it!" Courtney stormed off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: What's Courtney's damage, anyway? Why's she so interested in what I think about this rumor? It's Heather, I'd believe she could do anything.

* * *

"Tyler," Lindsay said, crying, as she walked up to her boyfriend, "what did I do wrong?" Lindsay collapsed onto Tyler's chest.

"You didn't do anything wrong, babe," Tyler said, concerned. "Why do you think you did something wrong?"

"Henry's really mad at me. He's mad at me for something I didn't even do!" Lindsay thought it over for a moment. "At least I don't think I did it."

"He's got issues," Tyler said.

"I don't get what Heather sees in him," Lindsay said weakly. "There must be something, but he's just so… was he this mean last year?"

"Not that I remember," Tyler said, shrugging. "He was usually just kinda' quiet."

Lindsay sighed. "What is his name, anyway?"

"It's Harold."

"Why can't I remember that?" Lindsay asked, still with her head in Tyler's chest. "Henry was angry that I couldn't remember his name."

"Harold, actually," Tyler said, smiling.

"He was making fun of me," Lindsay said, crying softly. "Not like when Courtney was making fun of me, either."

"Wait," Tyler said, confused. "Courtney was making fun of you?"

"You know, that challenge where we all dressed up as each other?"

"Oh," Tyler said. "Almost forgot about that."

"Henry thinks I'm a stupid bully," Lindsay said, still crying. "And I am stupid, but I'm not a bully! I'm a good person! I know I am!"

"You are, babe," Tyler said, rubbing Lindsay's back. "You are."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (crying) Grace, I'm really, really sorry I helped Heather pick on you last year. I'm not a bully! I swear!

* * *

"I love you, Noah," Katie said, purring with her head on Noah's lap, who was just smiling slightly back at her.

"I guess you two would like to be left alone?" Bridgette asked, smiling.

"Oh, I don't mind," Katie said, smiling. "Noah might mind, though."

"That's all good," Cody said, smirking.

"Bridgette! There you are!" Courtney exclaimed, rushing up to Bridgette, then pulling her away. "I really need your advice, because no one else is really helping."

"Is this about Leshawna?" Bridgette asked.

"Heather, actually. It's been bothering me, what Jewel said about Heather and planning something big against us."

"Heather's been nothing but a great friend to you," Bridgette said, looking disappointed in Courtney. "Why would you trust a complete stranger over someone who's been a good friend?"

"But what if Heather's lying?" Courtney said, worried. "She could always be lying."

"Or Jewel's lying," Bridgette said, with her hands in her pockets. "You should trust your friend over some stranger. We don't know what her motivation is."

"I know, you're right," Courtney said. "But I just don't know--"

"Courtney, you're too paranoid," Bridgette said. "Just trust your friend."

"I suppose you're--"

Courtney was whacked in the head by someone before she could finish her sentence. Bridgette was surprised to see who it was.

Heather. She ran off before Bridgette could do react.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: OK… why did Heather just do that to Courtney? Something wasn't right about that.

* * *

"Eva, can you help me carry Courtney to the medical tent?" Bridgette asked, walking up to Eva, who was lifting weights.

"What's wrong?" Eva asked.

"Well, someone just whacked Courtney, and she passed out."

"Did you see who did it?"

"Well… no," Bridgette lied, looking down. "I didn't really get a good look." Eva and Bridgette walked over to where Courtney was, but Courtney was missing. "She was here, anyway."

"Guess someone wanted to do something with her," Eva said, shrugging.

"I hope she's OK," Bridgette said, worried. "This just isn't right."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: Don't know why someone would want Courtney, though. Can't say I'd want to be stuck with her. I also wasn't sure why Bridgette was keeping something from me. I could tell there was something she didn't want to tell me.

Bridgette: I know I shouldn't have lied, but I really didn't want Eva to go on a murderous rampage for Heather before getting to the bottom of this. It just didn't make any sense.

* * *

Lindsay and Tyler were making out on the ground as Bridgette rushed up to them. "Courtney's gone!" Bridgette shouted.

"She was voted off?" Lindsay asked, then started to cry. "I'm sorry. I'll miss her."

"I don't think that's what she meant," Tyler said.

"I meant that someone who looked like Heather whacked Courtney in the head, and she passed out, and when I got help to carry her to the medical tent, she was gone," Bridgette said.

"Wait," Lindsay asked, confused. "Are you sure it was Heather?"

"Well, it looked like her," Bridgette said. "She wasn't acting like herself, though. I think something's wrong with her."

"Heather can't be mean," Lindsay said, worried. "I just know Heather's a nice girl now."

"I'd like to believe that too, but something's wrong."

"Are you sure Heather's not just up to her old tricks?" Tyler asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Pretty sure," Bridgette said.

"She's innocent," Lindsay said. "I know she's innocent."

"Losers!" Heather shouted, as the trio looked behind them to see Heather standing there. She threw a rock at them, then ran off.

Bridgette started running after her. "Stop!" Bridgette shouted, but quickly tripped over her own feet, planting her face into the ground.

"I don't think that's going to make her stop," Lindsay said, worried. Bridgette just grumbled.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Would've really been nice to help me up. Falling over… yeah, that was the plan. (Bridgette rolls her eyes.)

* * *

Heather was waiting outside the confessional. Eventually, Katie and Noah walked out.

"Heather?" Katie asked, irritated. "You were voted off." Heather simply smacked Katie, then ran off.

"Are you OK?" Noah asked, concerned, helping Katie back up.

"Of course I'm not OK!" Katie shouted, angry. "I was just attacked by that psycho!"

"Hmm," Noah went.

"Hmm?" Katie asked, angry. "What do you mean, 'hmm'?"

"I mean since when does Heather just run up to people hitting them?"

"Since today, I guess," Katie answered, confused. "That is odd, though."

"What does she gain from doing that?" Noah asked. "What's in it for her?"

"And how did she get here?" Izzy asked, leaping before the two. "I didn't bring her back here. And I know she was at the resort when I was there last night."

"Did Chris bring her back?" Katie asked.

"Probably, but I don't know what's gotten into that girl," Izzy said, confused, though still talking rapidly. "I'm guessing she's been drugged or something. Some medications can turn someone a bit crazy. I should know, since I'm taking those medications myself, but this is different. This is… something isn't right about her."

"Where is Chris, anyway?" Katie asked.

"Oh, he fell in that hole," Izzy said nonchalantly. "Seems to be the in thing these days. All the popular kids are doing it. Really should get that film replaced, but I quite enjoy seeing him stuck down there."

"I'm surprised he hasn't called for help," Katie said. "Wouldn't he have called for help by now?"

Izzy slapped her face. "OK, Izzy feels really stupid now, and Izzy doesn't like that feeling, but you bring up a good point. Why **hasn't **Chris called for help? Kaleidoscope needs to investigate!"

"Who's Kaleidoscope?" Noah asked.

"Um, me, duh," Izzy said, waving a hand dismissively to Noah.

"Of course. How stupid of me to ask such an obvious question."

"Well, ya' live and ya' learn. And you love you learn, you cry you learn, you lose a turn, and bankrupt."

"Should we have any idea what any of that was?" Katie asked, confused.

"It's life, kiddo'," Izzy said, rubbing Katie's head, to her annoyance. "I like the spinner, but it's a boring game."

"Concentrate!" Noah shouted, irritated.

"Drank it this morning, didn't even thaw it first," Izzy said, beaming, bouncing in place.

Noah slapped his face. "You have the attention span of a gnat!"

"Now be nice!" Izzy scolded, shaking her head. "That's rather insulting to gnats."

Katie looked sweetly to Izzy. "Izzy, do you think you could figure out what's up with Chris and Heather?"

"Sure thing, kiddo'," Izzy said, smiling brightly. "I just like teasing bookworm there. That was sweetie pie's name for you in that story, wasn't it?" Izzy had a huge grin on her face.

"You saw those stories at the resort?" Noah asked, nervous.

"I think it's kinda' cool how you made me a villain!" Izzy exclaimed. "Perfect choice, even! No one else would've been quite as lovable and insane!"

"I'll have to trust you guys on that," Katie said, confused.

"Trust me, a perfect fit," Noah said.

"Anyway, I'm on it!" Izzy exclaimed. "You guys can count on me!" With that, Izzy darted off.

"I think I'll have to figure this one out myself," Noah stated flatly. "Certainly know we can't count on Izzy."

"Come on," Katie said, smirking, lightly punching Noah's arm. "Izzy's a smart cookie!"

"I never really bought that 'I.Q. of 188' thing," Noah said, irritated.

"But she exposed Leshawna for what she did to Gwen!" Katie exclaimed. "She had to be pretty smart to do that."

"Or just been in the right place at the right time," Noah stated. "Seriously, why should I care that she did that? Didn't really matter to me whether Leshawna or Heather did it."

Katie stuck out her tongue. "It's nice to think about other people sometimes."

"Didn't we go through this already?" Noah said, irritated. "Neither of us are very good at being considerate of others' feelings. I see no reason to start by caring which of two devious girls exposed Gwen's secrets to an international audience."

"I'm good at being considerate," Katie said, uneasy. "I try to be, anyway. You should try, too."

"Not interested," Noah said. "Not really a whole lot in it for me."

"What about Bridgette?" Katie asked. "She's really nice. Like, really nice. You could be nicer to her at least. She did help you apologize to me, remember?"

"Who told you that?" Noah asked, irritated.

"Um, I have eyes and ears, duh," Katie said, with a goofy expression on her face. "I'm not oblivious to everything everyone else is doing, you know."

Noah shrugged. "Could've fooled me."

Bridgette, Tyler, and Lindsay were walking by, and Lindsay stopped for a second. "Were you two going to use that?" Lindsay asked, pointing to the confessional.

"Knock yourself out," Noah said, as he and Katie walked off.

"Thank you," Lindsay said, smiling brightly, as she walked in.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: On the other hand, I really shouldn't get mad at Lindsay for that. I know she didn't really mean to do anything, well, mean, but I wish she'd be less oblivious sometimes.

* * *

Harold was practicing something with a paddleball on the Dock of Shame as Leshawna walked up to him, and started speaking. "Look, honey--"

"Don't call me that," Harold said, angry. "You don't deserve to call me that."

"Whatever happened to that promise that you wouldn't get mad at me?" Leshawna asked innocently.

"You got my girlfriend voted off!" Harold shouted. "I don't see how you could do that to me."

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I really wanted to protect Gwen." Leshawna thought it over for a moment. "You too, baby."

"Don't call me baby, either," Harold said, irritated, crossing his arms.

"We all make mistakes, OK?" Leshawna said. "I feel like all I've been doin' is apologizing these past few days. It'd really be nice to get a bit of forgiveness every now and then."

"You voted off my girlfriend!" Harold shouted. "What did she ever do to you?"

"Did you really not pay any attention last season?!" Leshawna said, exasperated.

"Yes," Harold said. "Looked like you started a lot of those fights."

"Nuh-uh," Leshawna said. "No way! She started all of them! I was just stickin' up for everyone!"

"Like when I saw her boobs, and you tried to kill her," Harold said. "Terrible thing she did there."

"Well," Leshawna said, nervous, "she shouldn't be flashin' her chest to every Tom, Dick, and Harold."

"She didn't do that on purpose," Harold said, annoyed. "It was an accident! Gosh!"

"Well, I didn't want her hurting my man," Leshawna said, ducking down a bit.

"I really didn't mind," Harold said, smiling. "I rather liked it."

"It's not always 'bout what you like, baby--"

"Don't call me that!" Harold yelled.

"Sorry," Leshawna said meekly. "I just didn't want to see Gwen get hurt."

"You sound like a broken record," Harold said, irritated. "I actually have a record collection. Records have more character than compact discs have."

"Losers!" Harold and Leshawna looked to the start of the dock, where the voice came from, to see Heather, who was holding a rock and threw it at the two, then ran off.

"Now what was that for?!" Leshawna shouted, angry.

"I can only imagine why she wouldn't like you," Harold said, rolling his eyes.

"Losers is more than one loser," Leshawna said. "She was callin' both of us losers."

Harold started to cry. "Idiot! I could figure that out by myself!"

"Look, don't be callin' me an idiot!" Leshawna shouted.

"Real apologetic, I can tell," Harold said, angry. Leshawna slapped her face.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Oh come on! Dude calls me an idiot, and somehow, **I'm **in the wrong for calling him out on it?! I made a mistake, but it don't mean I gotta' be everyone's floor mat, does it?

* * *

"Chris!" Izzy shouted from the top of the hole in the forest he was in. "What are you--Courtney?!"

"Yes," Chris said, smirking. "Heather brought her over to me. Nice of her, huh?"

"Why are you in that hole?" Izzy asked, skeptical.

"I fell in," Chris said. "Just an accident."

"Izzy, can you get me out of here?" Courtney asked, glaring at Chris. "Apparently some people find my predicament funny."

"Well, it is!" Chris exclaimed, pointing tauntingly to Courtney. "Ha ha, loser!"

"Izzy can get you out!" Izzy exclaimed, as she leapt into the hole. "Are you injured?"

"No, but my head is still sore from when someone hit me earlier," Courtney replied. Izzy carried her out with her as she climbed back out. "Thank you, Izzy."

"No problem," Izzy said, smiling, then glared at Chris once more from the top of the hole. "Why was Courtney down there?"

"Heather threw her down here," Chris said. "I don't know why."

"Heather?" Courtney asked. "Is she up to something sinister?"

"I'd like to know that myself," Izzy said, irritated. "Why did Heather throw Courtney down there?"

"I don't know!" Chris shouted, irritated. "She just did. I think she wants to throw everyone down here for revenge."

Izzy narrowed her eyes. "She isn't going to get away with it."

"We'll see," Chris said, narrowing her eyes back. "Frankly, you guys deserve it! You all suck!"

"Why haven't you called for help, anyway?" Izzy asked, angry. "I know you have your cell on you."

"I forgot it in my trailer this morning," Chris said, getting angry himself. Izzy took out her own cell phone and called a number, and immediately, Chris' pants started to ring. "OK, so I lied, happy?!"

"No," Izzy said. "Why haven't you called for help to get out of that hole?"

"Because!" Chris shouted. "I felt like it. And it's none of your business!"

"Oh, I'm making it my business!" Izzy shouted. "You're messing with the wrong psycho hose beast!" Courtney was looking uneasy.

Chris yawned. "That's nice, but shouldn't you be stopping Heather from her evil plot?"

Izzy thought for a moment. "Good point. But I'll find out what you're up to, and then, Chris, **then **you will pay darling! And **I'll **become empress!"

"Um, yeah," Chris said, nervous.

"Am I still needed here?" Courtney asked, confused.

"Might as well stay," Chris said. "Heather's just going to bring you back here, I'm sure."

"I just can't believe she's doing this," Courtney said. "Jewel was right."

"Jewel?" Izzy asked, raising an eyebrow. "Heather's told me a lot about this girl, and she's not to be trusted."

"Are you sure?" Courtney asked, worried. "I mean, she sounded like she knew that Heather was planning something big. Could this be it?"

"I don't know," Izzy said, looking around. "I'd better check up on something." Izzy darted off quickly, leaving Courtney behind, confused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: OK, I have no idea what was going on back there, but um… something about Heather throwing me into that pit, and Chris, and… I think my head's still hurting.

* * *

Courtney was weakly headed back for her cabin, but noticed the other campers all standing around. "What's going on?" Courtney asked.

"Heather's up to something!" Eva shouted, slamming her fist against her other palm. "She's going to pay!"

"We still need to wait to find out why she's doing this first," Bridgette said, concerned. "I'm really hoping she has a really good reason."

Lindsay tried to speak up. "I think--"

"You don't think," Noah said, irritated. "The day you think is the day the universe collapses upon itself."

Lindsay was angry and stomped her foot. "Listen to me! I think--"

"That you should shut up," Harold said, angry. "Nothing of value can come from the mouth of Lilith."

"Lindsay!" Lindsay shouted. "My name is Lindsay!"

"I'll try to remember Leanne," Harold said, smirking.

"Urgh!" Lindsay screamed. "Why… what… I forgot what I was going to say now!"

"No one really cared what you were going to say, anyway," Harold said.

"That was still kinda' mean, though," Trent said. "Might be true, but it's still mean to say it so openly."

"Lindsay's not that stupid!" Courtney yelled. "She's smarter than you're giving her credit for."

"Yes," Bridgette said, also irritated. "Lindsay's got some great insight. Please share with us what you observed, Lindsay."

"Yeah," Tyler agreed, pumping his fist. "What they said!"

"I'm sorry guys," Lindsay said, looking down. "I know it was important, but I forgot what it was now."

Bridgette sighed, and Courtney looked angry. "That's just great, you guys!" Courtney yelled at the other campers, glaring at Harold specifically. "I don't know what your problem is, but you need to let it go! Look what happened when Leshawna couldn't let it go!"

"No need to mention me," Leshawna said shyly. "Really."

Lindsay started crying. "I'm sorry, guys."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Why did Nolan and Henry have to keep interrupting me? It was important, and now I forgot what it was. (Lindsay starts crying a little.)

Noah: (shaking his head) Such an idiot.  
Katie: I know, but still, you could be a little nicer to her. I mean, Sadie's not the smartest girl either, but she doesn't deserve that kind of crap.  
Noah: (sighing) I guess.  
Katie: Lindsay's not so bad. I mean, there's no possible way she was about to say something important, but it would've still been nice to humor her.  
Noah: I guess I could try to be nicer, since you're suddenly the expert on the matter.  
Katie: At least I'm trying!

* * *

Heather walked up to the pit, holding a video camera, shooting Chris, making dramatic gestures as he started speaking. "These poor suckers have no idea what's going on. Just how I like it. So which team is going to win? Do these guys even know what they have to do to win? They'll find out soon enough, but it might not be before it's too late! Someone's going to win, though, and the losing team is going to be at tonight's most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, coming up on _Total Drama Chris!"_ Chris, smirking, looked back up at Heather. "You can continue doing your thing, now. You're doing a great job, by the way!"

Heather smirked. "It's just what you're paying me for, sir."


	23. Day 11, Part 2: Gwen Heather Collide

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 23: Day 11: Part 2: Gwen Heather and Earth Collide**

Chris was smiling bright, still in the hole, and started making his usual Chris-like gestures as he began speaking, with Heather holding a camera pointed toward him. "Welcome back to _Total Drama Chris! _Our campers don't know it yet, but they're already participating in this week's challenge: survive Heather longer than anyone else. The last camper standing wins!"

Heather turned the camera off, looking irritated. "You mentioned Heather's name!"

"Well, duh, that's the challenge," Chris said, irritated. "What's your point?"

"Doesn't this air live at that Playa' des Losers place?"

Chris' eyes grew wide, but then he calmed down. "They're too stupid to figure it out. Trust me, these are the biggest bunch of idiots you've ever seen."

"Heather is not an idiot!" Heather snapped. "She's a conniving little weasel and cannot be underestimated!"

"You worry too much, Jewel," Chris said, smirking. "It's perfect. You ruin and hurt these kids, make them hate Heather more, you get paid lots and lots of money--it's win-win!" Jewel, looking identical to Heather, glared at Chris.

* * *

All of the losers at the Playa' des Losers, except for Duncan and Izzy, were watching, and rather stunned.

"But you're right here," Gwen said, raising an eyebrow, turning to Heather. "You can't be there if you're here."

Heather sighed. "Someone's trying to frame me **again!**" she shouted. "Why is Chris so determined to make my life even more of a living hell?!"

"Payback!" Justin shouted, angry. "Payback for everything you did, especially to me!"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "In retrospect, I don't really feel sorry for you for Heather voting you off that night."

"Of course, Bridgette hater," Justin said, sneering.

Gwen sighed. "I don't hate Bridgette. I got mad at her, and we got over it."

"Where's Izzy, anyway?" Heather asked. "I swear, if I get back to the island, I'm going too put a stop to this imposter me and make her pay! Seriously, throwing rocks? That's insulting to my talent!"

"We all know you're able to hurt so much deeper than that," Gwen said, smirking. "Seriously, I don't get why Chris couldn't just wait for you to spring your inevitable grand master plan."

"Because there was no grand master plan," Heather said, looking down, crying. "I just wanted to make amends for my actions last year, maybe make some friends, even… except Courtney's starting to doubt me."

"Can't imagine why," Gwen said sarcastically, but then thought about it for a moment. "Actually, I **can't **imagine why. That is strange how she was completely on your side, and now, all of a sudden, she's having doubts."

"She mentioned Jewel, but how would she have been in contact with that girl?" Heather asked, thinking.

"Who's Jewel?" Sadie asked, smiling. "She has a pretty name, so she's gotta' be really pretty, I bet!"

"Not necessarily," DJ said, sitting next to her. "Pretty sure her name doesn't make much of a difference."

"But it's like a diamond, or emerald, it's like a jewel, it's pretty!" Sadie exclaimed.

DJ shook his head. "It's just a name. It doesn't mean anything."

"This Jewel isn't a very nice person," Heather said, uneasy. "Not anymore, at least. She used to be nicer."

"Yeah, but Courtney couldn't be talking about the same Jewel," Sadie said. "She doesn't know Courtney."

Heather looked like a light bulb went off in her head, and looked furious. "**I **know what happened. I'm almost certain that so-called Heather is Jewel. And I'm also certain that if that's Jewel, our friends are in trouble!"

"Friends?" Gwen asked, skeptical.

"I didn't believe it either, but Heather's legit," DJ said. "Should've seen her breakdown on Izzy's show." Heather's face turned red.

"Izzy's show?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. "Do I really want to know?"

"Yeah, you should've seen it!" Geoff exclaimed. "Heather had like this really awesome meltdown!"

"It wasn't exactly awesome," DJ said, disapproving.

"Heather hasn't really done anything mean all year," Beth said. "I didn't really believe it either. I mean, after she used me and was mean to everybody last year, but she hasn't done anything mean to anyone so far this year. And she was so nice to me the other day." Beth rushed over to give Heather a tight hug.

"Sorry guys," Izzy said, rushing into the room. "Heather, you haven't learned the art of being in two places at once, have you?"

"No," Heather said.

"And you haven't started throwing rocks at people, have you?" Izzy asked. "Because that's such a downgrade from the things you pulled last year. Because, honestly, throwing rocks is just so juvenile."

Heather scoffed. "I wouldn't have even stooped to that level last year."

"OK, so unless you've got some wicked mad skills to make Harold jealous, then you're innocent."

"Of course," Heather said, irritated. "Not me, really. Been here all day."

"Unless you're a robot disguised as Heather while the real Heather is getting revenge on everyone at camp!" Gwen exclaimed, smirking.

"No, it's not," Heather said, sighing. "I wish I knew how I could get you to trust me."

"For one, you can learn to take a joke," Gwen said, smirking. "Seriously, a robot… that wasn't me being serious."

"Oh," Heather said, blushing. "I'm sorry."

"Two, you can stop apologizing so much. You've said you're sorry plenty. And three, we're going to stop that imposter!"

"We?" Heather asked, smiling.

"Well, yeah," Gwen said, shrugging. "You've been nothing but nice lately, and you even helped me out during that zombie challenge. Time I paid back the favor."

"Lumpy oatmeal, this is so wrong!" Owen exclaimed, concerned. "Gwen and Heather working together? By choice?! What's going on?! When did you two become BFFFLs?!"

"Um, no," Gwen said, irritated. "We're not BFFFLs. I don't even really like her much. But still." Gwen paused, looking a bit embarrassed. "Heather deserves a break."

"I'll accept that," Heather said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: This is the confession camera. This is where you can tell all your deepest, darkest secrets in private. Well, except for what they show at the Playa' des Losers, but you already knew that.  
Gwen: (standing outside) We already know what this is  
Izzy: I know, but right now, Chris is stuck in a hole, so you can come in here and use this without worrying about him kicking you out.  
Heather: (also standing outside) This I like.  
Izzy: Yeah. Just thought you two should know. Of course, I come in here all the time, but Chris can't touch me, nuh-uh.  
Gwen: I'm surprised he hasn't made Chef drag you out.  
Izzy: Oh, he does. Chef just knows better than to try.

Chef: Don't get me wrong, I'd take Izzy on if pretty boy would actually **pay me!** 'Til he does, it just ain't worth it.

* * *

"Say, Lindsay," Bridgette said, as she and Lindsay were walking through the woods in search of Heather, "I don't suppose you remember what you were going to say earlier?"

"No," Lindsay said, sad. "I don't get why they had to interrupt me. I know I might not be as smart as them, but I have some really good scattergories sometimes."

"Really, you're smarter than you give yourself credit for," Bridgette said, smiling. "You just have a different way of looking at things. That's really not a bad thing."

"Thanks you," Lindsay said, smiling. "You're really smart, too. I know everyone always thinks of Heather and Courtney and Neil as the smart ones, but you're up there, too."

Bridgette blushed. "Thank you, but I'm really not quite at their level."

"You are," Lindsay said, hugging Bridgette, though let go, looking nervous, when they came across--

"A bomb?" Bridgette asked, nervous. "What's a bomb doing out here?"

"I'm not sure what this is," Lindsay said, confused. "Is this like our challenge? I mean--oof!"

Lindsay was knocked down with a rock, and Bridgette seconds after, as Heather and a brunet wearing a navy blue polo shirt and black pants came over, with the guy starting to tie the two blondes to the bomb.

"Perfect," Heather said, snickering. "As if I was going to just throw rocks at people." Heather rolled her eyes. "Please. What a lame idea for a challenge. Murder… that's where it's at! Heather is going to be completely ruined after killing a couple of the show's most beloved contestants."

"Wouldn't that be Duncan, Jewel?" the guy asked.

"Don't call me that!" Jewel, disguised as Heather, shouted. "I'm Heather! I'm Heather, and that's what the world is going to see, and that's who the world is going to throw in prison for the rest of her life!"

"But Heather didn't do it," the guy said, tying Bridgette and Lindsay to the bomb.

"Shut up! What's important is that everyone thinks Heather did it! The only ones who are going to know the truth is Heather, who no one will believe, and Chris, who won't confess to knowing anything about the plot because he values his career too much!"

"Didn't he already try to kill Eva with this bomb, anyway?"

"No, he tried to kill Eva with the bomb he already blew up," Jewel said, irritated. "See? This one's still at 1:20. That's the one Katie was tied too."

"Why was I supposed to remember that?"

Jewel slapped her face. "Bryce, weren't you watching the show?"

"Yes, I just don't remember every little friggin' detail!"

Jewel muttered words under her breath, then continued at a normal volume. "Still need to figure out how to reactivate this bomb."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: You know, for all the mean things Heather did to me last year, the one thing she wasn't was a murderer. I could appreciate that she was worried for me when a real psycho killer was trying to kill me. Ought to count for something, really.

* * *

"Gwen," Heather said, as she and Gwen were searching around for the imposter, "I truly feel awful about what I put you through last year."

"I'm over it," Gwen said. "Really wish you'd stop apologizing."

"But you still don't trust me," Heather said, looking down.

Gwen sighed. "I forgave you, OK? Doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to blindly trust you." Gwen looked down.

Heather looked nervously to Gwen for a few seconds before speaking. "Is it because of Leshawna?"

"Please don't mention her name," Gwen spat. "Worse than you are."

"Were," Heather corrected nervously.

"Whatever," Gwen said, irritated. "Still can't believe she did that." Gwen thought for a moment before continuing. "Why didn't you ever try to get on Leshawna's good side, anyway? You've been apologizing left and right to everyone this season, but I've noticed you haven't even bothered to get on her good side to weasel your way to winning this year."

"I'm not weaseling anything," Heather said, looking to the sky.

"Again, whatever," Gwen said. "I still don't get why you didn't try sucking up to her too, though. Might've made your conquest easier."

"She was mean last year," Heather said, tearing up a little.

"Everyone was mean to you last year though. I was too," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "You kind of deserved that."

"I deserved what you did to me," Heather said. "I know how horrible I was to you, and I'm not blaming you at all. What did I do to Leshawna, though?"

"Well," Gwen started, trying to think for a while, "you know, I'm not really sure. She was looking out for me, though, who you **were **hurting. Still don't really get why you decided to make me your favorite victim."

Heather started crying more. "You were different. I thought you were a freak, and I didn't like how you questioned my authority."

"There were no team leaders," Gwen said, irritated.

"I know. I should have just let it go. You were just everything I hated, though. The independent attitude, the weird look--I mean, you still look like a freak, but there's nothing wrong with that."

"Um… thanks?" Gwen asked, skeptical.

"I meant that as a compliment," Heather said, smiling sweetly.

"It's not a very good one."

Heather pointed to her bald head, smiling. "I look like a freak too. I actually thought you liked looking that way."

"I do," Gwen said, irritated. "I don't exactly think my look is freaky, though. Just… different."

"Oh," Heather said, looking down. "I'm sorry about that comment. I bet you'd really look pretty with a makeover, though."

"So don't want one," Gwen said, dismissively waving her hand.

Heather giggled a bit. "You're a good person, though. If I weren't so stupid, I'd have realized that last year."

"And it took you, what, only a year a notice," Gwen said. "And you were supposed to be this really intelligent manipulator."

Heather looked guilty. "Still, there's no excuse for the stuff Leshawna did to me."

"Um, yeah, there was," Gwen said. "Sticking up for me, remember?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "Because it was **so **cruel how I was absolutely terrified of that insane cliff dive. Didn't see anyone complaining that Beth was scared."

"Maybe because she was scared," Gwen said, irritated.

"So was I," Heather said.

"Yeah," Gwen said, giggling a bit, "scared of getting your hair wet on TV."

"Please," Heather said, irritated, "I said that to save face. I mean, hello, international TV, I wasn't going to allow my fans to think I was some 'fraidy cat wimp."

"You don't really have fans," Gwen said, smirking.

"I realize that now," Heather said, crying a bit. "I thought I'd surely have a legion of guys who'd want me. I mean, look at me! Sexy naughty…" Heather trailed off. "That didn't happen."

"Sweet girl like you? No way!" Gwen said, feigning surprise.

"I know, I know," Heather said, embarrassed. "Really, though, I was scared to death, and Leshawna just threw me off, not caring about me at all!"

"I actually thought that was funny," Gwen said, looking down. "I'll grant that you didn't really deserve that, though." Gwen thought for a moment. "Or when DJ was voted out, and--"

"It's OK," Heather said, smiling. "I'm not mad at you."

"So neither of us likes Leshawna now, I guess," Gwen said, shrugging. "We're still not friends, though."

"That's OK," Heather said. "Still need to find that me-wannabe, though."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Heather can actually be pleasant when she wants to be. I mean, I'm still a bit skeptical over this new attitude of hers, and a part of me doesn't want to believe she's really changed. A part of me also does, though. After what Leshawna did to me, though, I don't really see how I can trust anyone else. I mean, if my best friend did that to me.

* * *

"What's going on?" Bridgette weakly asked as she and Lindsay were waking up, both tied to the bomb, still stuck on 1:20, with Bryce fooling with wires and buttons to get the countdown to resume.

"I'm killing you two," Jewel said nonchalantly. "You know, me, Heather."

"You don't sound like Heather," Bridgette said, narrowing her eyes. "Your voice is a lot higher."

"It's not Heather," Lindsay said, looking very angry. "That's Jewel. We met."

"No, I'm Heather!" Jewel yelled. "See, I have Heather's ugly bald head, and Heather's stupid khaki short shorts, and her--"

"You're shorter than the real Heather," Lindsay said. "You never stayed around long enough for us to get a good look, and I'll admit that whoever did your makeup did a great job, but they couldn't hide that you're just shorter than Heather is." Lindsay narrowed her eyes. "Plus your voice. I recognize it. Except when you shouted 'losers.' That sounded like Heather. And that's why you never said much: all you had was a short voice clip you played!"

Bridgette blinked. "You figured all of that out?"

"Yes," Lindsay said, then perked up. "Oh yeah, that's what I was trying to remember earlier. Before everyone kept interrupting me. I mean, not you, but other people."

"I'd like to interrupt if you don't mind!" Jewel shouted. "I'm Heather, not this Jewel chick you keep bringing up. And you'll never prove otherwise, since you'll both be dead soon. And Heather will take all the blame!"

"You're crazy!" Bridgette yelled, scared.

"Why do you hate Heather so much?" Lindsay asked, concerned.

"Why? **Why?! **I'll tell you why! That little bitch has kept me under her prissy little thumb for eons! I've earned my way at the top of the social ladder and I'm not giving it up for that little skank! I'm making sure she stays down like the worthless dog she is!"

"Isn't killing us a little extreme, though?" Bridgette asked, scared.

"For Lindsay, yes," Jewel said, looking slightly bad. "Lindsay's innocent. I despise her for being the planet's most imbecilic being in the history of forever, but she's harmless and worthless." Jewel turned red as she continued raging on, stomping back and forth. "You, Bridgette, though, you miserable excuse for a human, are almost worse than Heather! Almost."

"Bridgette?" Lindsay asked, confused. "She's like the nicest person here! I don't get it."

"Of course you don't," Jewel said, mocking sincerity. "Bridgette doesn't care about you or anyone else."

"Of course she does!" Lindsay yelled, angry. Bridgette smiled to Lindsay.

"Oh, no," Jewel said, angry. "She's one of those psychotic activists!"

"What?!" Bridgette yelled.

"Do you know how many people look up to you?! At my school, you were a role model for many. Deciding to go vegetarian, convincing the school to offer a choice of vegetarian meals."

"Why is that a problem?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"You're turning people into stupid hippies!" Jewel screamed. "If I want a steak, I'm having a steak, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

Bridgette rolled her eyes. "I've never forced my beliefs about meat on anyone. Geoff certainly loves his hamburgers, and I'm fine with that. Why is that a problem, exactly?"

"You're a loony!" Jewel screamed. "Seriously, what's your problem with meat eaters?!"

"She already told you, she doesn't have a problem with people who eat meat," Lindsay said, angry. "Don't you listen?"

"Well, what if I wanted a dolphin hot dog?" Jewel shouted. "Would you be OK with that?"

"No," Bridgette said, angry. "Why would you even want a dolphin hot dog?"

"To spite you!" Jewel screamed. "I bet you're one of those 'save the whales' people, or one of those people who care about trees, and the environment, and cheer on Captain Planet!"

"I don't watch that show," Bridgette said, still angry. "And what's wrong with caring about mother earth?"

"There!" Jewel screamed. "You and your dirty hippie language, calling it mother earth!"

"You've got issues," Lindsay said, scowling at Jewel.

"This nitwit has issues!" Jewel screamed, poking Bridgette. "I mean, look at her! Stupid ponytail, too lazy to do anything with her hair--"

"I think it's pretty," Lindsay said.

"Shut up! Stupid sandals, like the ugliest ones she could find."

"Crocs are uglier," Lindsay said, smiling.

"Again, shut **up! **Stupid lazy baggy shorts, stupid baggy hoodie… seriously, is she even **trying **to look nice?!"

"Bridgette, you're pretty," Lindsay said, smiling. "You know that, right?"

"I guess I look decent," Bridgette said, still looking scared.

"Actually, I think Bridgette's pretty hot," Bryce said, still fooling with the bomb.

"No she's not!" Jewel screamed. "She's a hideous little speck!"

"So you pretty much hate Bridgette for being a role model who's pretty without even trying," Lindsay said, smirking. "I think you're jealous."

"**I AM NOT!**" Jewel smacked Lindsay's face in anger. "Forget what I said before! You both deserve to die! Can't you activate that bomb any faster?!"

"It would help if I had a manual," Bryce said.

"Just hurry up!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Do people out there really see me as one of those stereotypical animal activists? I was thinking I was giving them a good name, showing the world that we're some of the nicest people you could meet, and that it's just a few crazies who give the rest of us a bad name.

Lindsay: (crying slightly) Bridgette, you know Jewel's a liar. Stay true to yourself!

* * *

Katie and Noah were making out in the woods, as a couple of people approached them. Noah stopped and freaked out when he realized they were being watched, but Katie looked happy. Then she attacked Heather, putting her in a daze, pinning her to the ground. "Don't you ever mess with my friends again!" Katie shouted, angry.

"What was that for?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Didn't we already vote her off?" Noah asked.

"I'm sorry you were voted off," Katie said, crying as she glomped Gwen. "You didn't deserve that. Justin was--"

"I really don't want to hear his name," Gwen said, irritated.

"Sorry," Katie said, smiling up at Gwen. "So you came back to catch Heather? You did a good job, but it didn't look like you had a good grip, so I hope I did an OK job."

"Heather's innocent," Gwen said.

"Again?" Noah asked. "Wasn't she innocent the last time too, with that diary?"

"I was helping her find the Heather imposter who's been running around the island."

"Oh," Katie said, looking down, then going over to help Heather back up. "Sorry about that, Heather. I thought you were evil. I mean, you are evil, but not like the throwing rocks kind of evil."

"She's not really evil," Gwen said. "I mean, she's mean, but she's got some niceness in there, too."

Noah looked surprised. Katie even moreso, as she went up to feel Gwen's forehead. "You don't feel warm," Katie said, looking concerned.

"I'm not sick," Gwen said, irritated. "Really, she's sort of a decent person."

"Thanks, I think," Heather said, unsure.

"I'd say that was a huge compliment coming from her," Katie said to Heather, smirking while pointing to Gwen.

"You guys really need to be more alert," Heather said. "Jewel is dangerous. She may have just been throwing rocks earlier, but she can definitely do more than just that. And if she can hurt me, she will!"

"So," Katie said, trying to look innocent, rubbing her shoe into the ground, "no more making out?"

"No," Heather said. "It is nice to see Noah coming out of his shell, though, and it's nice to see you maturing a bit."

"Thank you!" Katie exclaimed, glomping Heather, who smiled back.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Katie and Noah. Who would've guessed?  
Gwen: Mr. Grumpy and Little Miss Sunshine? I certainly wouldn't have.  
Heather: Yeah. Noah would've fit better with someone else who's grumpy. (Heather smiles sweetly at Gwen.)  
Gwen: Oh, come on! I'm not grumpy! (Gwen pauses, looking a bit guilty.) Not that grumpy, anyway.  
Heather: True.  
Gwen: But still… yeah. Katie and Noah. Not sure I'd have ever seen that one coming.

Courtney: What's so shocking about Noah and Katie? I mean, hello, Duncan and me, people! (Courtney pauses, looking embarrassed.) I mean, that would be a pretty shocking, opposites attract kind of couple. If we were a couple, I mean!

* * *

"Got it!" Bryce exclaimed, as the timer started counting down from 1:20.

"Good!" Jewel shouted. "Now let's get off this island!"

"The explosion isn't that powerful," Bryce said, scratching his head.

"No, dummy!" Jewel shouted. "We don't want to be here in case someone figures out I'm not Heather!"

"So you admit it," Bridgette said, smirking.

"I mean, I am Heather! See my Heather shirt and my Heather baldness and… oh, let's just get out of here!" Jewel and Bryce ran off, leaving Bridgette and Lindsay tied to the bomb, with 1:03 left.

"**Help!**" the two girls screamed, which quickly got the attention of Heather and Gwen, who came rushing to them.

"By any chance, can either of you defuse this thing?!" Bridgette said, shivering, as the timer clicked onto forty-two seconds.

"No, but I can untie you," Heather said, scared, as she took a knife out from her shorts.

"You still carry that thing around?" Gwen said, smiling.

"A girl needs protection," Heather said, as she started cutting through the ropes. "You never know when some dumb jock is going to jump you in the hallway."

"I know that feeling," Gwen said. "Only twice, but I'm still a bit nervous when I'm by myself."

"Every day for me," Heather said, as she finished cutting through the ropes. "There!"

"Thirteen seconds!" Gwen screamed, grabbing Bridgette's hand, dragging her after she shortly tripped. "Sorry about that."

"I'll live," Bridgette said. "Literally."

"Time to get out of here!" Heather screamed, grabbing Lindsay's hand, as the two ran off with seconds left of the timer, until it exploded.

"Thank you!" Lindsay beamed, glomping Heather, then going over to glomp Gwen. "That's like one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me!"

"I'd hug you too if I could move," Bridgette said, bruised and battered, lying on the ground.

"We'll help you around," Heather said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: You two rock! And Heather, I'm really, really sorry I even thought for a moment that you might've been doing this.

* * *

"How are we going to get off the island, anyway?" Bryce said, as they were rushing to a secluded part of the lake.

"You're swimming!" Jewel shouted. "I'm riding on top! Got a problem with that?!"

Bryce sighed. "No."

"I have a problem with that."

"Who said that?!" Bryce shouted.

Jewel narrowed her eyes. "Izzy."

"Cool, you remember my voice!" Izzy exclaimed as she leapt before Jewel and Bryce. "My name is Izzy. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

"Isn't your father still alive?" Bryce asked, confused.

Jewel slapped her face. "Stop quoting stupid movies!"

Izzy jump-kicked Jewel to the ground. "Don't you **ever **call _The Princess Bride _stupid!"

"That's kind of a weak reason to attack us," Bryce said.

"Oh, I'm attacking you because of the whole 'framing Heather for some insidious plot' thing. That remark didn't exactly help endear me to you, though."

"Oh, yeah," Bryce said, not entirely getting it.

"Fight her!" Jewel screamed, picking herself up. "Don't let her get away with disrespecting me!"

"Like he could do anything about it," Izzy said nonchalantly. Bryce lunged for her, but she flipped over him. "That was pretty fun! Do it again!"

"This time don't miss!" Jewel screamed, shaking a fist at Bryce. He did as Jewel commanded, but Izzy wound up pulling his shirt over his head as he passed again, and he crashed into a tree.

"Just you and me now, kiddo'," Izzy said, motioning her hand as to invite Jewel to attack.

"That's not my name!" Jewel shouted. "It's Heather! Heather!"

"No, it's Jewel," Izzy said.

Jewel looked shocked, then narrowed her eyes. "No! It's Heather!"

"I'd say that was a pretty good guess on my part. I saw your reaction. Heather was right about you."

"Heather's a big fat liar!"

"Lying about how you made her life a living hell? Or lying about you being up to something diabolical?"

"Shut up!"

"We've won. You lost. It's game over. It's--"

"Game over for your friends!" Jewel yelled, cackling. "By now, Bridgette and Lindsay are nothing but ashes! You might have caught me, but your so-called friends have paid the ultimate price." Jewel started smirking. "But they're not your friends. No one likes you. You're just that freak who everyone tolerates. That's why they got rid of you the first chance they had. You put on this whole crazy girl act, but you're just an insecure little nobody!"

Izzy looked genuinely hurt, and just stood there, then curled up on the ground crying. Jewel found a large stone which she was about to smash on Izzy's head. Except before she could, someone pushed the stone out from Jewel's grip, and the stone wound up crushing her.

"No one messes with my girl!" Ezekiel yelled, furious. Jewel lay there unconscious, while Bryce was dazed, looking worried. "Are you OK, Izzy?"

Izzy looked down, crying. "No."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: Wow… whoot did she do to Izzy?! Izzy never lets anyone get her down like that! She's… wow. She really is worse than Heather!

* * *

"I'm soory," Ezekiel said, kneeling down to hug Izzy gently, who blew her nose on his sleeve.

"Why is there dried-up snot on here, anyway?" Izzy asked, looking suspiciously at the sleeve, sounding a bit like her usual self. She then grew a smile back on her face. "Ooh, Chris! I need to get Chris out of that hole so I can use his cell phone to call the authorities! Then I'll have to amscray, since it's really in my best interest to stay far, far away from said authorities."

"Amscray?" Ezekiel asked, blinking.

"Scram," Izzy said.

"I doon't know that one either," Ezekiel said, embarrassed.

"It means I need to get far, far away unless I want them to arrest me," Izzy said, nervous.

"I'd hate that," Ezekiel said, then smiled. "Just hide good, eh?"

"Oh, when I've got my invisible mode activated, no one can find me," Izzy said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: I would make an awesome ninja, uh-huh. I was actually trained to be a ninja once, but all my boss would let me do is jump up and down, up and down, over and over, while some mean princess tried to throw another ninja at me. The gig pretty much sucked.

* * *

Chris was gathered at the site where Jewel and Bryce were, along with the contestants, including Heather and Gwen, while Jewel and Bryce were being arrested by authorities, bringing them into a helicopter. Everyone watched as the helicopter flew off.

"That did not go exactly to plan," Chris said, shrugging, but then grew a big smile. "That's gonna' make for killer ratings, though!" The others stared at him blankly. "You know, killer ratings, 'cause she was a killer? Anyone? It was a joke!"

"Not a very good one," Courtney complained. "Bridgette and Lindsay could have died because of your little stunt!"

"Again, not part of the plan!" Chris shouted. "Anyway, the winner of this challenge--"

"Wait," Courtney said, confused, "winner? What winner? What… challenge, even?"

Chris sighed. "The challenge was supposed to be that Heather would throw rocks--"

"Jewel," Heather said, angry.

"You weren't supposed to know that part! The challenge was **supposed **to be Heather throwing rocks at people, and throwing them in the pit where I was, and the last person standing would win it for their team. Except that's obviously not how it played out."

"So how did you determine the winner?" Courtney asked, nervous.

"Simple: whichever team played the bigger role in taking down fake Heather won," Chris said, smiling. "Heather and Gwen, you two were instrumental in saving Bridgette and Lindsay. Nice job, Gwen."

"Nice job Heather too," Gwen said, irritated.

Chris grumbled. "Point is, that was a Screaming Pansy and a Killer Chris."

"They're not contestants, though," Courtney said, worried.

"They **were **contestants! On the other hand, Izzy and Ezekiel actually took down the criminals, and they're both Screaming Pansies. Or at least once upon a time."

"Oh no," Katie said, starting to tear up, realizing what was coming.

"So I would say that the Screaming Pansies played a much bigger role in taking Heather down--"

"That wasn't Heather!" Gwen shouted, angry.

Chris grumbled again. "Point is, the Screaming Pansies won. Again." Chris started to walk away. "And now I'm taking my nap. No wakey!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: That was so unfair! I mean, I was tied up most of the supposed challenge! I couldn't do anything!

Courtney: I felt bad that Bridgette lo… I mean, the Killer Chrises lost. I'd really hate to see Bridgette go home.

Cody: They're so nice… I hate to say it, but Bridgette's probably the only one I wouldn't really miss that much. I mean, she's a really nice girl and all, but we just never really got close.

* * *

Courtney nervously approached Heather, crying. "Heather, I'm sorry I doubted you."

Heather smiled, hugging her friend. "It's all right."

"No, it's not," Courtney said, looking guilty. "I trusted some stranger over my friend."

"You didn't trust her," Heather said. "You were having conflicting feelings. There's a difference."

"Either way, I hurt you."

"Jewel may be evil, but that don't mean she was lyin'," Leshawna said, irritated.

"Courtney doesn't need to hear that," Lindsay said, angry.

"Heather's up to somethin'. We all know girl can't be trusted," Leshawna said.

"Yes she can!" Lindsay shouted, getting up in Leshawna's face. "She's been nothing but nice since she got here this year, and half of you still won't give her a second chance! Hell, even Greta's giving her a second chance!"

"No, I'm not," Gwen said, turning away.

Lindsay sighed, then started screaming in Leshawna's face. "OK, Gabby's a little shy about that, but what's wrong with all of you?! Lanisha, **you **wronged **her**! So how come **She's **the one who needs to beg for forgiveness?!" Lindsay then stormed over to Trent. "Tim, how would **you** like it if Gwen didn't forgive **you **for kissing Heather, or keeping her buried in the sand, where she could have died?!" Lindsay then went over to Eva's face. "Sure, Heather got you voted off, Eden, but what about threatening to kill Bridgette?! That's a whole lot worse than what Heather did to you, but Bridgette forgave you anyway!" Everyone was standing in shock. Lindsay then stormed over to Bridgette. "And you! You--um, oops." Lindsay blushed deep red. "I'm sorry, you didn't do anything wrong. I think I'm getting a little confused."

"You, Larry? Confused?" Harold said, fake gasping. "You're kidding." Lindsay started crying, and Heather marched up to Harold and slapped his face. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"This stops now," Heather stated coldly.

"What?" Harold asked, irritated. "She's been picking on me! I'm just standing up for myself."

"Standing up against her?!" Heather shouted, pointing over to Lindsay, sitting on the ground crying. "She can't take this!"

"She made my life miserable after our first date!"

"What?!" Lindsay shrieked. "We never dated!"

"Might as well have," Harold said, crossing his arms. "She was just like you."

"I wouldn't do--" Lindsay stopped herself, and slapped her face. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe Autumn was being used herself?"

"What are you talking about?" Harold asked, annoyed.

Lindsay went over to hug Gwen. "First, Gwen, I'm sorry about all that stuff I did to you last year."

"I know," Gwen said, smiling. "We know all about Heather manipulating you." Heather looked down. "Not to say she still is."

"What if Autumn was being manipulated? I mean, if she's just like me, maybe she'd like to apologize, and didn't even realize what she did."

"No," Harold said, angry. "This girl ruined my life! She knew exactly what she was doing, and she didn't care!"

"I've done that before," Heather said, looking down, before looking back up, angry. "Regardless, Lindsay has done nothing to you, and this petty revenge your getting is going to stop."

"But she deserves it!" Harold exclaimed.

"No, she doesn't. And if you don't improve this attitude of yours, I can make you regret it. I may have bettered myself, but I certainly remember how to get down and dirty if need be, and if this idiotic thing between you and Lindsay does not end, you **will **pay!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: **That **was good! Seriously, using your powers for good instead of evil. I like it!  
Heather: I was really hoping I wouldn't have to do that.  
Gwen: Seriously, though, that was wicked.  
Heather: (sighs) I really hope **he **can change, now. He's not a bad guy, but just… well, Courtney can handle herself against him. Lindsay can't.  
Gwen: No one's going to hold that outburst against you. Except maybe Leshawna. And she doesn't count.  
Heather: (crying a bit) Thank you.

Courtney: Did I mention that I'm sorry Heather? Because I'm really, really sorry about listening to Jewel. I don't know why I couldn't shake her words from my mind.

* * *

Harold sighed. "Do I really have to be her friend?"

"No," Heather said. "I'm just asking that you stop tormenting her. I wish you'd give her a chance, but as long as you can be civil, that's all I'm asking."

"I don't get it," Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. "Heather was a lot meaner than Lindsay ever was. Why so mad at Lindsay but not Heather, anyway?"

"Heather's been lonely," Harold said. "She's a lone wolf, but not by choice. She was a broken soul coming here. Lindsay, though, is the same--"

"That's enough," Heather said, putting on a fake smile as she covered Harold's mouth with her hand. "We really don't need to hear any more."

"OK," Harold said, waiting a few seconds before speaking again. "Wanna' make out?"

"You're kidding, right?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Pretty sure he's not," Gwen said, grinning.

"Oh shut it," Heather said, smiling back.

"You two did a great job," Izzy said with unusual sincerity, before resuming back to her manic tone. "So are you two ready to go back to the Playa' des Losers and have all sorts of relaxing fun that the rest of these guys can only dream about? I mean, we know they can dream about it, since they know the place exists. You know what would really suck? Getting in second place, having to spend all the show on this miserable island instead of relaxing in the hotel, and still losing anyway."

Courtney rushed up to hug Heather before she left. "I'm really sorry I was letting Jewel get to me. I really should've been smarter than that."

"Really, it's OK," Heather said, hugging back. "You gave me a second chance when no one else would this year."

"When did you get so sappy, anyway?" Gwen asked, grinning mischievously, as the two started following Izzy.

"Bye Gwen! Bye Heather!" Katie exclaimed, waving as they left.

"Not saying bye to Izzy too?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She'll probably be back tonight," Katie answered.

Izzy shrugged. "She's probably right."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I'm sorry. Noah, you're a pretty nice guy. At least sometimes, but Katie and Eva are really nice, and you're… well, less nice. I'm really sorry, though.

Eva: Bridgette likes Katie more than Noah. It's that simple.

Katie: I really think we should vote for Eva.  
Noah: No, Bridgette. She's been getting on my nerves lately.  
Katie: But she's, like, so sweet! She's just like me, if I were less hyper and more concerned about other people.  
Noah: So in other words, nothing alike.  
Katie: We're both outgoing.  
Noah: Still, Bridgette.  
Katie: Bridgette isn't going to be voted for the tiebreaker, you know.  
Noah: She will if we get the right tiebreaker from the other team.  
Katie: (sighing) I really don't like this idea.

* * *

Chris looked disapproving at the four remaining campers. "You four have disappointed me. You have lost **again!**"

"I was tied up!" Bridgette shouted. "There wasn't exactly a whole lot I **could **do!"

"Silence!" Chris shouted. "There are three marshmallows on this plate, and four of you. The one of you who does not get a marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame, where you will catch the Boat of Losers, and you can't ever come back! Ever!"

"No one's buying it," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, at least you won't have to find out this week, 'cause you're safe." Chris threw Katie a marshmallow. "Eva, you're safe, too." Katie suddenly looked scared out of her wits as Chris threw Eva a marshmallow, and started crying.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (looking down, shaking her head, crying) I'm like so, so sorry.

* * *

"Noah, Bridgette, you two are left, and there is only one marshmallow. The one of you who does not get a marshmallow must immediately leave. Might want to mention that Cody happened to be this week's tiebreaker." Bridgette was looking scared, while Noah was looking confident. "And the final marshmallow goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Bridgette."

Bridgette looked shocked but also relieved as a marshmallow hit her head. "What?!" Noah shouted. "That's not possible! There is no way Cody chose Bridgette over me!"

"He didn't," Chris said, grinning deviously. "We wound up not needing the tiebreaker after all. There was a tie, but someone changed her vote."

Katie was looking really guilty, before breaking down, and clinging to Noah's legs. "I'm sorry, Noah! I couldn't do it! I couldn't vote for Bridgette!"

"And thanks to you, I've lost. Just great," Noah said, angry.

"I'm sorry," Katie said, crying. "I didn't want to do it, but it just felt wrong, to vote off Bridgette. She just didn't deserve it!"

Noah sighed. "Cody wouldn't have chosen me over Eva, you know."

"I know," Katie said, sobbing, clinging to Noah.

Noah rolled his eyes. "I'm so going to regret this." He pulled Katie to his lips, and started kissing passionately, with Katie quickly getting into it, putting her arms around him and wrapping her legs around his… until he fell down a few seconds later, not being able to keep his balance. Bridgette was smiling brightly, while Eva looked mostly uninterested.

"Goodbye, Katie," Noah said, as he walked over to the Boat of Losers. "I'll be pulling for you. Stay sharp."

"I will," Katie said, smirking. "Don't go flirting with other girls without me!"

"Yeah," Noah said, smiling slightly, "pretty sure you won't have to worry about that happening."

Katie was crying as she was waving from the Dock of Shame, and Bridgette walked over to comfort Katie. "Are you going to be OK?" Bridgette asked.

Katie hugged Bridgette tight, crying profusely. "Please don't leave me. First Sadie, now Noah… if you leave, I don't know what I'm going to do."

"I couldn't really help it this challenge," Bridgette said, smiling. "We're just going to have to try really, really hard for the next one."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: I actually felt a little bad for Katie. Sure, she's annoying, but she did the right thing. (Eva starts looking irritated.) Yes, voting for me was the right thing. Seriously, though, Bridgette deserved to stay in this.

* * *

Katie and Bridgette were walking back to their cabin, while Eva had gone elsewhere, though Bridgette tripped at the campfire, burning herself, and her hoodie. Katie quickly grabbed Bridgette out of the fire, and whipped off her hoodie, tossing it into the air, where the wind carried it.

"Is that going to be OK?" Katie asked, concerned. "I mean, it was on fire, and all."

"Probably," Bridgette said, embarrassed. "I'd really like to get another shirt, though." Aside from being a little burned, Bridgette had no shirt on, but only her bra.

"Ooh, I'm sorry about that," Katie said sheepishly. "I didn't mean to--"

"It's OK," Bridgette said, smiling and hugging her friend. "I fell into the fire, and you helped me out, and my shirt was on fire. I'll just need to put another one on. I really am a bit of a klutz."

Katie shrugged, smiling. "Worse things to be than clumsy. Still, I know you don't really like showing off like that much."

"Yeah, I am a bit uncomfortable like this," Bridgette said. "Hope none of the guys see me on the way back to the cabin."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

(Bridgette is in a comatose state, still in her bra.)  
Katie: (hugging Bridgette gently) It's not your fault.

Chris: I'd just like to say that yes, it is your fault, loser! Seriously, what the hell was that for?! But what has Bridgette done that's got me angry? And could it have all been prevented if Katie had just voted off Bridgette like she was originally going to? Yes. Too late now, though. Find out more next time, when another camper will be voted off in the most exciting bonfire ceremony ever, on _Total Drama Chris!_

* * *

Sadie and DJ were waiting on the dock, as Noah's boat pulled up. Noah stepped out of the boat, onto the dock, and Sadie glomped him, crying.

"I'm so, so sorry Noah. I knew when I left, at least she had you, but now with you gone too, I don't know what she's going to do."

"I think she can handle it," Noah said. "Could you please get off me?"

"Oh, sorry," Sadie said, then let go and glomped DJ. "What's Katie gonna' do without me or Noah there?!"

"I dunno'," DJ said. "Fend for herself?"

"She's doomed!" Sadie shouted. "Doomed!"

"You're melodramatic," Noah said, rolling his eyes. "Melodramatic. She'll be OK."

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Noah  
Eva: Noah  
Katie: Eva  
Noah: Bridgette

Noah: 2  
Bridgette: 1  
Eva: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Heather, Gwen, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah

Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Eva, Katie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Trent, Tyler

* * *

Activating shield now… I **know **I'm gonna' be yelled at for that one. I'm sorry that was done, but it had to be done. We'll see more of Noah, just like we've seen more of everyone voted off. Not quite at the levels we've been seeing of Izzy, mind you, but we'll see him again.

I'll miss the whole Noah, Katie, and Sadie dynamic the story's had, really. Whole lot of fun to write their scenes together.


	24. Day 12, Part 1: Burning Bridgettes

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 24: Day 12: Part 1: Burning Bridgettes**

Katie was standing in shock with her mouth open wide, as Bridgette, still without a shirt on, was kneeling on the ground, crying profusely, as their cabin before them was burning to the ground. The Screaming Pansies, minus Courtney and Leshawna, were out as well, looking, though most of the guys couldn't help from noticing Bridgette's lack of a shirt.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: I'm soory, but I didn't really knoo how not to notice Bridgette. She really is beautiful.

* * *

"I'm so sorry, Katie," Bridgette cried out. "All your stuff. Where are you going to sleep? How could I?"

"It's kind of my fault, too," Katie said, tearing up a bit as she knelt down to Bridgette's level, hugging her. "I mean, I threw the shirt off of you. Wind's pretty strong tonight."

"I was on fire," Bridgette said, crying. "You just threw it off to help me. I'm the klutz who fell into the fire in the first place."

Katie hugged tight. "How about if we agree it's both our faults then?"

"You don't have to do that," Lindsay said sweetly, crying a bit herself. "It was just an accident."

Trent shrugged. "Eva probably did it, anyway."

"Um, no, she didn't," Katie said, irritated, turning toward Trent.

"She was probably mad at you so she set the place on fire."

"Why would she set her own cabin on fire?" Bridgette asked, irritated.

"I don't know," Trent said. "Didn't she want to kill you last year?"

"Yeah, but that was last year," Bridgette said, glaring at Trent. "She's changed. People do that. It's good to give people a second chance."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: **What the hell?! I'm gonna' kill Bridgette!** Crush her skull in with my bare hands, proceed to break every bone in her body… burning down our cabin! My clothes! My mp3 player! How could she?!

* * *

Courtney and Leshawna rushed back with Chris, and soon after, a few helicopters came by and dropped lots of water onto the burning cabin… though Chris was mostly just staring at Bridgette.

Lindsay noticed and slapped Chris. "Stop that, you perv! You're like thirty-five and oogling poor Bridgette now?!"

"I'm twenty-six!" Chris whined. "Besides, you guys are over the age of consent."

"She didn't consent to anything!" Lindsay yelled.

"She's naked on international television. Gonna' give some guys the wrong impression."

Lindsay looked to be holding stuff in, but just stormed over to Bridgette and Katie. "I have some extra shirts. I know they're not really your style, but it'd probably be nicer than that, anyway."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (wearing Courtney's top) Now don't get me wrong, it was a sweet gesture on Lindsay's part, but her clothes weren't really a great fit on me. The top kept falling down, exposing… well, yeah. I actually had the same problem with Courtney's top, but at least I'm able to stuff socks into this one. Suddenly, I feel really small, but really, I don't think I'd really want them bigger than they already are.

* * *

"You guys can sleep in our cabin," Courtney said, as Bridgette was noticing that Courtney's shirts she now had on didn't quite fit right in the front.

"Uh, no, they can't," Chris said, annoyed. "There are no sleepovers allowed. If these guys don't want to sleep in their own cabin, then they can sleep under the stars."

"They don't **have **an own cabin!" Courtney shouted, throwing her arms into the air.

"That's their fault," Chris said, smirking. "And they're paying for the damage!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: OK, truthfully, the show has insurance for these sorts of things, but I don't really like them. Especially Katie. Lousy girl-wannabe has no right to still be here. Seriously, how has her team voted off eight people already, and still managed not to get rid of the most annoying person in the history of forever?! I don't get it!

* * *

"Chris, I've read the contracts," Courtney said, irritated. "You may be able to get away with forcing them to sleep outside--"

"My hands are tied," Chris said, feigning innocence. "I couldn't let them bunk with you even if I wanted."

"Yes. You could," Courtney said, whipping out a large contract. "Third paragraph on page eighty-five even specifically mentioned the specific situation, and I quote: 'In the event that one of the two cabins burns down, the host may elect whether or not to allow the contestants who are without a cabin to share a room with the contestants who are still with cabin.'"

"And I elect not to allow it!" Chris shouted. "That's my right!"

"Your hands are hardly tied, though," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, Kyle," Lindsay said, unhappy, pointing to Chris' hands. "I can see your hands right there. They're not even sort of tied."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Come on! What kind of loser actually reads an entire contract?! That's the whole reason we make them so long! So that people **don't **read them! Seriously, why waste all that effort into writing a two hundred sixteen page behemoth if they're just going to read it anyway?!

Bridgette: It actually scares me a little, not so much that Courtney read the contract--I can believe that--but that she somehow remembered what page the cabin thing was on. I'm sure she'd make a great lawyer one day.

* * *

Eva was walking back to the cabins, lifting dumbbells in both her hands, not immediately noticing the dilapidated cabin. "So, what are we all doing out here?"

Bridgette started tearing up again, then rushed over and clung to Eva, with Katie close behind. "I'm so sorry," Bridgette said, crying. "I kind of accidentally burned our cabin down."

"We both kinda' did," Katie said, looking guilty, rubbing her shoe on the ground. Eva looked over at the cabin and stood there in disbelief, dropping her two dumbbells to the ground. One on Bridgette's foot, who started hopping on one foot, holding the other in her hands until she tripped and fell.

"I'll… I'll… I'll be back," Eva said, wide-eyed, as she started slowly walking to the outhouse, with her eye twitching along the way.

"That was really brave, eh?" Ezekiel said, nervous. "She could've killed you."

"Eva's not so bad," Bridgette said. "I mean, sure, she's got a rough exterior, but she's pretty nice when you get to know her."

Bridgette and the others were shocked to hear screaming not a second later, though, clearly coming from the outhouse. Bridgette and Katie soon slowly backed and hid behind Courtney.

Courtney sighed. "I'm not going to be able to protect you two forever."

"Maybe just until she calms down?" Katie asked, crying.

"That won't happen," Courtney said. "Still, we can look out for you two for now."

"We won't let her touch you," Leshawna said, smiling.

"I can't really help at all," Lindsay said. "Still, it'll be lonely if I'm all by myself in the cabin. It'll be like a sleepover out here! We could do each others' makeup and hair and--"

"Not tonight," Courtney said. "Another time, I hope, but I think for now, they're still a bit disoriented." Lindsay looked completely lost. "Another night, OK?"

"OK," Lindsay said, sad.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I just thought a makeover might cheer them up. I know it cheers me up when I'm feeling down.

* * *

Everyone was staring in the direction of the outhouse, where lots of screaming and banging was going on. "She's going to be in there a while, isn't she?" Katie asked, worried.

"Better in there than out here," Courtney said, irritated.

"Well, I'd personally rather not be here when she gets out," Chris said, smiling. "So I'm outta' here, and the cameras are gonna' catch all the carnage. It'll be awesome! As long as I'm not here personally, that is."

"I can pin you down and make you stay, you know!" Tyler shouted.

"Yeah… pretty sure you can't," Chris said, smirking, before he started walking off. "Seriously, dude, you kind of suck at everything. I bet you couldn't even beat up a dweeb like Harold."

Lindsay blinked. "What's a dweeb?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: (punching the toilet itself a lot) And I'll rip out her spine and floss with it, pluck off her fingers one by one, and rip out her heart and eat it! (Eva breathes heavily for several seconds.)

* * *

The girls looked nervously in the direction of the outhouse when they stopped hearing screaming coming from it, and more nervously when Eva finally walked out, with her head hung down low, slowly walking over, approaching Bridgette, though Courtney jumped in front of Bridgette.

"You are not touching this girl," Courtney stated with an ominous tone in her voice.

"Get out of my way," Eva said, angry.

"No," Courtney said. "I can take you on."

"I don't want to fight you!" Eva shouted.

"Then go away," Courtney stated, with an icy glare into Eva's eyes.

Eva angrily punched Courtney down, then started approaching a shivering Bridgette, curled up, but Courtney quickly got up and tackled her from behind, and the two really started going at it.

"Courtney, are you OK?" Bridgette asked, crying, looking upon nervously.

"You need help, Courtney?" Leshawna asked, worried.

Eva stopped fighting back and looked like she was tearing up slightly. "What did I do to you guys, really?"

Courtney looked flabbergasted. "You're not serious. Punch we when I couldn't fight back, threaten to kill Bridgette--"

"That was last year!"

"That was last minute!" Courtney yelled back.

Eva looked confused for a moment, then turned furious. "Were you eavesdropping on me?!"

"So that's why it's called eavesdropping," Lindsay said, smiling. "Now I get it!"

"We weren't eavesdropping! We could hear you from way over here you were so loud in there!" Courtney yelled, angry.

"Oh." Eva backed down, embarrassed. "Bridgette, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you guys could hear that."

"So you're not sorry you said it. You're just sorry she heard you saying it," Courtney said, unimpressed, with her arms crossed. "That'll make it all better."

Eva sighed. "Bridgette, can I please talk to you?"

"No, you can't," Courtney stated, angry. "I'm not allowing it."

"She can speak for herself," Eva said, angry.

Courtney went down to Bridgette's level and started talking softly. "I'm sorry to bother you, but do you want to tell Eva to go away?" Bridgette shook her head, terrified. "OK," Courtney said, and gave her a gentle hug, then returned to Eva. "She doesn't want to speak to you right now."

Eva looked distraught, and just started walking slowly to the cabin where the guys were. The girls watched, confused, and saw Tyler, angry, sticking his head out the door, though his look softened as Eva spoke, and after about a minute, he closed the door, and Eva started walking back over to the outhouse.

"What is she up to?" Courtney asked, suspicious.

"As long as she's leaving Bridgette alone, who cares," Katie said, tired.

"She's up to something, though, and I don't trust her," Courtney complained, then turned to Bridgette. "You guys might want to get ready for sleep, though. I'll volunteer myself to take the first shift to make sure no wild beast women hurt you during the night."

"Thank you," Bridgette spoke softly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: (crying a little) I'm sorry, OK? I thought I was doing good, venting my anger in here and not at Bridgette. Courtney really could have helped the situation by telling Bridgette that I needed to just vent a little, instead of scaring the poor girl half to death. I know she feels terrible, and I don't want her to suffer because of me.

Courtney: Eva's got some real issues.

* * *

Eva was waiting on the Dock of Shame, sitting on the edge with her legs hanging over the side, as Cody walked up to her. "Are you OK?" he asked.

Eva sighed. "I screwed up."

Cody took a seat next to Eva. "What do you mean?"

"I mean everyone heard me in the confessional and now they're terrified that I'm going to kill Bridgette," Eva said, angry.

"Well, we did kind of hear you say that," Cody said, concerned.

"I was just letting out my anger instead of bottling it in. If I just bottled it in, I might have actually done something I'd regret. I thought if I just let out my rage in the confessional, everything would be all right."

"Maybe you could just apologize to Bridgette?" Cody asked, concerned.

"I tried," Eva said, looking down. "Courtney won't let me."

"Courtney?" Cody asked, confused. "I mean, I know she's strong, but still, you're Eva!"

"When that girl gets angry, that adrenaline rush makes her… well, you saw what she did to Harold last year."

"Oh, yeah," Cody said, chuckling to himself. "I still have no idea how she could do that with a lamppost. Maybe I can talk to Bridgette and Courtney, though. Bridgette's nice. I'm sure she'll listen."

"And Courtney'll probably tell her that you're poisoning her mind or some crap," Eva said, irritated. "It's worth a shot, though. Really, burning down our cabin, I can only imagine how bad Bridgette feels about that. And I wound up just making her feel worse. I really hope I can get Bridgette to forgive me again this year."

"She's Bridgette!" Cody exclaimed, smiling. "Of course she will!"

"She didn't last year," Eva said, sighing.

"Do you know that?" Cody asked. "Do we even know who Bridgette voted for? I noticed that when they showed the episode on TV, they didn't even show Bridgette saying a word for the entire episode."

"She voted for me," Eva said. "Everyone on the team did, except for me, at least."

"Maybe she didn't know who else to vote off?" Cody asked. "Maybe you could've guided your team with who should've been voted off instead? She probably didn't really know who else to vote for."

Eva shrunk down. "I guess. I thought I'd make things worse if I tried to push the blame onto someone else like Courtney did, though."

Cody just shook his head, then smiled. "It's too bad. They threw out their strongest competitor."

"You're just hot for someone who could kick your butt," Eva said, genuinely smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I don't know… I don't really think Beth could've kicked my butt.

* * *

Eva and Cody were walking back to the area the other girls were sleeping in sleeping bags Chris had provided, save for Courtney, who was keeping watch, and rushed up to Eva when she spotted her.

"I'm keeping an eye on you," Courtney said, both quiet and angry, poking Eva's chest. "If you even think about trying anything, I am going to be on you like skin!"

"I swear I'm not going to do anything," Eva said, quiet pleading.

"You really ought to give her a chance," Cody said, also quiet, and shivering.

"Why are you defending her?" Courtney asked, glaring at Cody. "You heard those terrible things she said she'd do to Bridgette!"

"She was just letting out her anger," Cody said. "She and Bridgette are friends, and she's not going to hurt her."

Courtney glared at Eva once more, narrowing her eyes. "I'm still watching you." Eva looked irritated, but just unrolled her sleeping bag and went to sleep shortly after, while Cody went back into his cabin.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I can't believe Eva forced Cody to defend her like that! It's pretty obvious that Eva threatened Cody to put in a good word for her, but I wasn't falling for it. I mean, I could see him shivering behind Eva. Obviously scared of her.

Cody: Courtney's pretty scary sometimes. Glad I could kind of hide behind Eva there.

* * *

Chris was on the Dock of Shame, looking irritated as he was talking on his cell phone. "I really don't like the idea of having a long segment before my monologue. We're going to trim that down, right? And we **are **still replacing that nonsense that Bridgette and Lindsay did for the last episode's introduction, right? No one wants to see them rambling on about what happened. They want to see **me **rambling on about what happened."

"Um, we're rolling."

Chris looked up at the cameraman in shock, then grumbled before he put on his large smile and started making his soon-to-be-trademarked gestures as he began speaking. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _Heather was running around the island throwing rocks at people."

"Nuh-uh," Izzy said, flipping from underneath the dock to in front of Chris. "That was Jewel who was doing that. Who you hired even."

Chris shoved Izzy off the dock, into the lake. "It was Heather, who was clearly trying to frame this innocent Jewel girl. Originally, the challenge was going to be whoever survived the longest before being thrown into the hole with me would win for their team. But it's not exactly how things played out. Katie's bomb from the Fear Multiple challenge made a return appearance, and I'm starting to wish I'd demonstrated that the bombs were real with the other one, since the one I blew up only had seven seconds left on it. Because unfortunately, a minute twenty was long enough for Bridgette and Lindsay, who Heather had tied to the bombs, to be freed by Gwen and some other girl."

"Heather was the other girl," Izzy said, pulling herself back onto the dock. "Everyone saw Heather was helping Gwen free Bridgette and Lindsay."

Chris laughed. "Seriously. Heather? Helping people? And working with Gwen? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

Izzy shook her head. "The most ridiculous thing I've ever heard was 'you can never come back **ever**' since we all know you do intend to bring a couple of people back."

"You don't know who though," Chris smirked, but quickly slapped his face in frustration.

Izzy grinned wildly. "You're right, I don't, but I did just get you to admit that you were bringing people back."

"You know, this is technically me time," Chris said, irritated. "As in me, by myself, not being interrupted by anyone else. This is the one part of the show where I get to monologue!"

"But the viewers like me more!" Izzy exclaimed, cart wheeling around the dock. "They'd rather see more of me over you!"

"Not true!" Chris whined. "The viewers love me! No one would watch if some other loser were hosting!"

"Ooh! Ooh!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming. "I want to be that some other loser! Pick me! Pick me! I have this awesome idea for hosting a challenge where these extraordinarily well-trained dogs chase down the contestants, and Wolverine protects a box of Famous Amos cookies from getting eaten by covering the box with his body!" Izzy scratched her head for a moment. "Actually, I don't think that's quite how the dream went, but I'm pretty sure it's close."

"That's a really lame challenge," Chris said, irritated.

"Ooh! But I also have this idea where I put a bunch of flags on Boney Island and the contestants have to get the flags, except I set the entire island on fire and watch as they try futily to escape!"

"And people think I'm mean," Chris said, disturbed.

"I wouldn't really let anyone die," Izzy said, dismissively waving her hand. "Just want to spook everyone out!"

Chris sighed. "May I continue now?"

"Of course," Izzy said, smiling brightly. "No one's stopping you."

Chris grumbled, then put on a big smile. "Anyway, Gwen and someone disguised as Heather helped save the day, along with Izzy and Ezekiel, who stopped the evil Heather in her tracks."

"Wasn't Heather," Izzy said, annoyed.

"More Screaming Pansies helped out than did Killer Chrises, so since the challenge didn't go as planned, I had to go with what went down, and ultimately, the ex-Screaming Pansies played a bigger role in saving the day and having Heather arrested than the ex-Killer Chrises did. Even though there were a whole lot more ex-Killer Chrises. Pretty sad, really."

"You chose the teams."

"Yes! The Screaming Pansies were supposed to be the weak team!" Chris shouted. "Courtney and Heather fighting for leadership, an imbecile, a useless geek, an even more useless geek, Owen… seriously!" Chris threw his arms up in the air. "Either way, the Killer Chrises lost again, and Bridgette was going to be voted off thanks to the tiebreaker. Except for the **second time **this game that Bridgette was supposed to be sent home, someone interfered. In this case, Katie changed her vote from Bridgette to Eva, and so Noah was sent home. I don't even really want the Killer Chrises to win anymore! Seriously! We've got one girl who's just a lawsuit waiting to happen, another who's cheated elimination twice and doesn't really deserve to win, and she's **way **too nice for my tastes, and Katie. Just. Katie!** Why can't she be voted off already?!**"

"Shouldn't you be, like, unbiased, being the host and all?" Izzy asked, disapproving.

"I'm allowed to be as biased as I want to be!" Chris exclaimed, sounding a bit demented. "Katie is finally going down! You won't want to miss it, so stay tuned for _Total Drama Chris!"_

* * *

Eva had waken up the next morning, only to find Bridgette was already gone, and Leshawna was awake, keeping watch. "I don't suppose you'll tell me where Bridgette went," Eva said.

"You're not going to hurt Bridgette, are you?" Leshawna asked.

"No. I'd just like to talk to her."

"I'm sorry about last night," Leshawna said. "Courtney was just looking out for her friend, and wound up hurting her. I've been down that road."

"Except I recall you did it intentionally," Eva said, smirking.

"Yeah," Leshawna said, uneasy. "Bridgette's on the dock, though. Just… better let me go ahead of you." Eva nodded, and the two walked off to see Bridgette, who was curled up in a ball, crying, still wearing two of Courtney's shirts. "Bridgette, baby?"

Bridgette turned around, angry, to see Leshawna, standing in front of Eva. "I don't really want to see you, Leshawna."

"I'm really sorry about what I did to Gwen."

"And bringing Eva over here?" Bridgette asked, angry. "So you can threaten to have her pummel me if I don't get over it?!"

"I wouldn't do that to you," Eva said, looking down.

"It was an accident, OK?!" Bridgette yelled, then started sobbing. "I felt so terrible after setting our cabin on fire. I really thought we were friends."

"We are," Eva said, trying but failing to smile. "I just needed to let out some steam." Bridgette just continued to sit there, crying as hard as ever. "This isn't working," Eva said to Leshawna, disappointed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: What is Bridgette's problem? Won't accept my apology, won't accept Eva's apology… really, what's up with that?

Eva: I don't know… I was really hoping I could avoid this by letting it out in private. Guess it wasn't as private as I thought it was. On one hand, I'm really angry and hurt that Bridgette doesn't trust me. On the other hand… well, was I really that bad?

* * *

Cody stepped outside of his cabin after waking up. Katie, crying a little, immediately glomped him, knocking them both down.

"Could you please not do that?" Cody asked, a bit disoriented.

"I'm sorry," Katie said. "It's just… well, Sadie's gone, Noah's gone, and Bridgette's kind of out of it this morning. I'm just so alone."

"That was odd," Cody said. "I actually voted for Bridgette to leave. I mean, she's a nice girl and all, but just… well…."

"I changed my vote," Katie said. "Maybe I shouldn't have, but I just couldn't vote off Bridgette."

"Didn't you hate Bridgette earlier this season?" Cody asked, smirking.

"Yes," Katie said, crying more. "I really don't need to remember that now, though."

"Oh," Cody went, looking down. "I'm sorry about that. Maybe we should talk to Bridgette."

"She's not really much for conversation now," Katie said, looking down. "The whole 'Eva wanting to kill her' thing kinda' has her down."

"Eva never wanted to kill her, you know."

"Huh?" Katie asked, confused. "But I heard her screaming. And I pretty clearly heard that she wanted Bridgette dead."

"That's why she used the confessional," Cody said. "She was afraid she'd hurt Bridgette, so she let out all her rage in there. She just didn't expect everyone else to be able to hear her in there."

Katie just lay there blinking for a few moments. "Oh. Well… she was kinda' scary."

"Eva would really like to apologize for that."

"Well she should!" Katie shouted. "She's got poor Bridgette fearing for her life!"

"Courtney was making that pretty difficult yesterday."

"Courtney can hold a grudge. In this case, I think it was probably warranted, though," Katie said, concerned, making Chris-like gestures as she went on. "I mean, she just heard her best friend getting violently threatened by her. She was trying to look out for her. And unlike **some **best friends, i.e. Leshawna, she wasn't trying to pull off some elaborate hoax in a supposed effort to protect her friend. She was defending Bridgette against someone who had just scared her nearly to death and thought she was gonna' be killed!"

Cody just lay there, confused for a while. "I guess I can see your point. Eva really would like to apologize, though."

"I'm not sure I trust her," Katie said, worried.

"You trust me though, right?" Cody asked.

"Well… yeah," Katie said, uneasy. "But you and Eva kinda' have that thing, and that might be clouding your judgment."

"Can we talk to Bridgette about it, at least?"

"I… suppose?" Katie asked, uneasy. "I really don't want to press it too much, though."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Frankly, I'm also a little worried that Eva's going to kill me, too. I don't think it entirely hit her that it was my fault our cabin burned down, too.

* * *

"Hi Bridgette," Katie said, as she walked up to Bridgette, still curled up on the Dock of Shame, crying a fair bit, though less than she was earlier.

"I'm sorry, Katie," Bridgette said, looking up to her. "Noah was just voted off, and I know you really need me to be there for you right now. I'm just a bit… well… we all heard Eva."

"I'm a little bit scared of her too," Katie said. "I mean, I kinda' helped with that fire."

"Um, hi," Cody said, standing there, uncomfortable. "Bridgette?"

"Yes?"

"I guess… well, Eva feels bad about the stuff she said last night."

"Can't feel worse than me!" Bridgette shouted angrily.

"She didn't realize you guys could hear her in the confessional," Cody said, worried.

"So I wasn't supposed to know she wanted me dead," Bridgette stated with a dark tone. "It was going to be a surprise! What a great surprise that would have been." Bridgette rolled her eyes.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Still has her sense of humor, at least. I guess.

* * *

"You don't have to forgive her right away, but just hear me out," Cody said. "Eva was ranting and raving in the confessional to protect you from herself."

"That doesn't make any sense," Bridgette commented, raising an eyebrow.

"You see, she was furious when she found out you burned down the cabin, and she needed to release that anger, but she didn't want to hurt you, so she went into the confessional to get her anger out, so that she wouldn't blow up at you." Bridgette continued sitting there, looking like she was trying to take it all in.

"Are you OK?" Katie asked, worried. "You really look bad."

"I'm… I don't really know," Bridgette said weakly. "I mean, I guess that actually makes some sense, but still, I'm just… scared."

"Just think about it," Cody said cheerfully.

"I'll do that," Bridgette said, smiling back, though still crying a little. Katie sat down next to Bridgette and hugged her tightly.

"I just think we need each other right now," Katie said. "I mean, if you'd rather Courtney hug you for a while, I'd understand. I mean, I know how close you two are."

"Courtney's not that huggy of a person, really," Bridgette said, sounding happier. "Besides, I like you a lot. I don't really like playing favorites."

"Thank you," Katie said softly. "I really miss Sadie and Noah. And you're like my only real friend here."

"We're not friends?" Cody asked, a bit disappointed.

"Well, sub-friends, like when my other friends aren't around," Katie said. "You'll do in a pinch."

"That's not really very nice," Bridgette said. "He's been really nice to you."

"Was I supposed to lie?" Katie asked, legitimately confused.

"Well… no, not lie," Bridgette said, shaking her head. "Just too much information there."

"TMI. Gotcha'," Katie said, winking. "I'm sorry, Cody. You're a nice guy and stuff. I'm just not sure if we're friends."

"You know, it's really not the same as being boyfriend and girlfriend," Bridgette said, giggling. "Not really the sort of decision you need to agonize over like that. Besides, you really need more friends here. You don't really do well by yourself."

"You've noticed that?" Katie asked, sounding oddly surprised. "I mean, it's true, but I didn't think other people noticed."

"I think pretty much everyone noticed it," Bridgette said, smirking. "Not exactly a big secret. Really though, there's nothing wrong with having more friends. I think it'd be good for you."

Katie was beaming, and went to glomp Cody again, once again knocking them both down, to the Dock of Shame. "We're friends!"

"So, I've been promoted from sub-friend?" Cody asked, smirking.

"Yep, yep, yep!" Katie exclaimed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Eeeiii!  
Cody: I thought you usually only went in with Sadie.  
Katie: Oh, no. I've come in here with Bridgette and Noah, too. But right now I'm just so excited that we're friends!  
Cody: I can honestly say that I've never had such a big production over becoming someone's friend.  
Katie: Is this not the usual procedure?  
Cody: Eh… I guess it works.  
Katie: Then it's good enough for me! Eeeiii!  
Cody: Is it OK if I don't squeal with you?  
Katie: Oh, that's fine. But just wait, 'cause one day I'm gonna' get you to squee with me!

* * *

"Um, guys?" Courtney asked, nervous, as she was walking up to Bridgette, Katie, and Cody, who were on the Dock of Shame. "We seem to have a problem. Like, a big problem."

"What? Did Eva kill someone?" Katie asked jokingly.

"Um, maybe?" Courtney said, confused for a moment. "How did you know Chris was dead?"

"Wait, what?" Cody asked in disbelief. "Chris is dead?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: You know, I actually thought I'd be happier when Chris died, but… well… (Bridgette starts crying.)

Katie: I used to always hope that Chris would die brutally one of these days, but now that he's actually dead… I'm actually pretty indifferent toward it. What? Was I supposed to be sad? He tried to **kill me! **I didn't forget the time bomb incident!

* * *

The ten campers, minus Ezekiel, were all looking in shock at Chris' body, lying on the ground, with a gunshot clearly going through his body, through the heart.

"Are you sure that's not fake?" Trent asked. "I wouldn't put it past Chris."

"I thought that too at first," Courtney stated. "I figured it was probably some dumb rubber body, but I checked, and that is… well, I can assure you, it's not rubber. That absolutely seems to be a dead body."

"How did he die?" Lindsay asked, worried.

"The gunshot wound?" Harold said, irritated. "Idiot."

"Hey!" Lindsay shouted. "Heather told you to be nice to me!"

Harold sighed. "I'm sorry for calling you an idiot."

"Aww, you didn't have to do that," Lindsay said sweetly. Harold slapped his face. "That's not what I meant, though. I can see the gun hole, duh. But who killed him?"

"Person deserves a medal," Eva said, smirking.

"There're probably clues," Cody said. "I bet we could find clues if we looked around."

"What about the Kleenex?" Lindsay asked, noticing a piece of used tissue in one of Chris' pockets.

"Eww, we don't really want anything to do with his used snot rag," Courtney said, wincing.

Lindsay picked it up, anyway, though looked grossed out as she was doing it, and more so as she opened it up. "There's writing on this."

"What's it say, girl?" Leshawna asked.

"But really, I'd do great every two thousand evenings, keeping it lively. Little Eva did murder Ezekiel." Lindsay looked at the tissue in confusion, scratching her head. "Who's Ezekiel?"

"That's a good question," Cody said, looking around, and noticing Ezekiel was missing. "Where is Ezekiel?"

"Do I even know an Ezekiel?" Lindsay asked.

"Why does the note say that you killed him?" Courtney asked, irritated, pointing to Eva. "I mean, we know you were really angry last night. Was Chris practice? And did you kill that lousy home school boy too?"

"The tissue's a liar!" Eva shouted, angry. "I never killed anyone!"

"But Kleenex doesn't lie," Lindsay said. "At least it usually doesn't lie."

"Tissue paper doesn't say anything!" Harold shouted, then caught himself and calmed down. "I mean, tissue paper can't lie since it doesn't talk."

"But who wrote it?" Courtney asked. "Did Chris see Eva killing Ezekiel, so Chris wrote the note, then Eva killed him too?"

"Do you even hear yourselves talking?!" Eva shouted. "I'm innocent!"

"The killer could have written that note to throw us off the trail," Cody said, nervous. "Anyone could have just accused Eva, figuring that she had the biggest target on her back to start with."

"Thank you!" Eva said, exasperated. "Someone believes me!"

"I don't know," Katie said, narrowing her eyes. "But I know I can trust Bridgette! Ooh, and my new friend Cody! And Courtney, since she cares so much about Bridgette's well being."

"Thank you," Courtney said, congratulating herself.

"And Lindsay's really, really sweet, so she couldn't have done it."

"Yay, I'm imminent!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming.

"Ezekiel's dead, so he's out," Katie said. "That leaves Leshawna, Harold, Trent, and that guy." Katie blinked, realizing she had no idea who he was. "Taylor, was it?"

"Tyler," Lindsay said. "Even I know his name."

"I'm sorry," Katie said. "I just don't remember him at all. Guess not being on the same team and all."

"Actually, he was on our team last year," Bridgette said, smiling.

"Really?" Katie asked, confused. "For some reason I don't remember that."

"Come on!" Tyler said, exasperated. "I wouldn't kill Chris! Lindsay wouldn't go out with a killer!"

"Right!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Since I'm going out with him, that proves he's instant!"

"Innocent. And that's not quite how it works," Courtney said, concerned. "Still, you have good instincts. And I don't really want to be the one to accuse Tyler of any wrongdoing. And besides, it was obviously Eva."

"It was not!" Eva bellowed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Seriously, no one else besides Eva would have any reason to kill Chris. (Courtney thinks about it for a few seconds.) Scratch that, we all have reasons we'd want to kill Chris. But none of us would actually go through with it, except for Eva.

Katie: Eva really needs to control her temper.  
Bridgette: Actually, I think someone was probably trying to frame her.  
Katie: Eva's pretty mean, though. And we know she threatened to kill you. You might be next!  
Bridgette: I think she might have just been angry. And someone's piggy-backing on that to frame her for the murder.  
Katie: (sighing) I hope you're right.

Lindsay: Keeping it lively? Two thousand evenings? Now I know I'm a little stupid, but I'm pretty certain that doesn't make any sense.

Eva: Please, I'm innocent! Please… Bridgette. (Eva starts crying.)

* * *

Chris, along with Izzy, were in a small room at the Playa' des Losers. "Thought I was really dead, huh?" Chris asked, smiling for the camera. "A guy who works at the morgue owed me a favor, and I needed a dead body. Our makeup people did a pretty convincing job making him look like me."

"And the person who solves the case of who killed Chris--sort of--wins invincibility for their team!" Izzy exclaimed.

"I said you could watch," Chris said, irritated. "Not talk. But who will solve this case? Will they kill each other, believing each other to be murderers? And what about the poor person who I've made to be the killer against his or her own will? And where is Ezekiel, anyway?"

"Oh, I'm taking good care of him," Izzy said, beaming, then she started cackling maniacally, worrying Chris.

"OK," Chris said, nervous. "Find out the answers to those questions and more, plus the campfire ceremony where Katie finally gets the boot, coming up next on _Total Drama Chris!"_

"And now, to check up on my Zeke!" Izzy exclaimed, climbing through an air duct in the room.

"I never thought people could actually do that in real life," Chris said, shrugging.


	25. Day 12, Part 2: Lethally Blonde

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 25: Day 12: Part 2: Lethally Blonde**

"And we're back to _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris proclaimed, sitting in his seat in a small room at the Playa' des Losers, watching the other contestants. "When we left off--"

"Seven seconds ago," Izzy added, with her voice echoing through the air duct."

"They didn't know that!" Chris whined, pointing to the viewing audience.

"You could've waiting until I was out of earshot, you know," Izzy said, still echoing.

Chris grumbled before continuing. "Anyway, the campers all think that I'm dead. I know it's really hard on them, since they all loved me so--"

"Now that's a funny joke!" Izzy exclaimed. "Joke, joke, joke… I love this echo thing! Hi Noah! I can see you changing! Hey, no throwing things at the air duct!"

Chris scratched his head before continuing. "The campers have to figure out who killed me in order to win invincibility for their team. Of course, the killer herself, or maybe himself, doesn't even know she or he did it. Ought to be good!"

* * *

"Anything pointing to Leshawna," Trent said, as he, Harold, and Cody were searching the beach.

"Could've been someone else," Harold said. "For all we know, it was Lindsay."

"Dude, would you stop that?" Cody asked, annoyed. "Really, what did Lindsay ever do to you?"

"What did Leshawna ever do to you?" Harold retorted.

"Um, the whole framing Heather for plastering Gwen's diary all over the campground to an international audience?" Cody asked, irritated. "So what did Lindsay ever do to you?"

"We might understand," Trent said. "But seriously, just ragging on her is getting kind of old."

Harold sighed. "Fine. Now, brace yourselves, because I am about to blow your mind."

"I think we can handle it," Trent said.

"Don't say I didn't warn you, because this may come as a huge shock, but I wasn't always the stud you see before you today."

"I can believe that," Trent said, smirking. "You kind of make Cody look cool by comparison."

"Hey!" Cody shouted.

Harold grumbled before continuing. "Anyway, I really liked this girl named Autumn. She was the most beautiful girl in the school, and beloved by all. She wasn't smart, but she always seemed so nice to everyone."

"Kind of like Lindsay," Cody said, smiling.

"Exactly," Harold stated, with venom in his voice, and started crying. "Kind of like Lindsay. I asked her out on a date and she said yes."

"Bad break-up?" Trent asked.

"Can I finish?" Harold asked, annoyed. "But yes, a bad break-up. She lied about her own mother dying just to leave the date early, and wound up siccing the entire student body on me because of one date she felt was bad! And I was used to bullies picking on me because they were jealous, but this was out of control, for weeks on end before everyone forgot about it!"

"That sounds more like something Heather would do, actually," Trent said, concerned.

"Heather's changed," Harold said, irritated. "Heather's trying her best to better herself, and most of you haven't given her a chance."

"You're not giving Lindsay a chance, either," Cody said. "Lindsay is not Autumn."

"Lindsay is the exact same person she was last year," Harold said, angry. "The same stupid useless blonde bimbo!"

"Lindsay's changed," Cody said, worried.

"What? She's still stupid, she still does that 'pretending to be nice' crap… she's the exact same!"

"When has she just pretended being nice?" Trent asked, irritated.

"She is nice, and she seems to have become more compassionate this season, even," Cody said. "I still don't really get why she tried warming up to Courtney in the first place this season. I'd just kind of imagined that Courtney would've just yelled at her if she tried, or something. Really, Lindsay isn't this Autumn chick. They're not the same, and you really need to quit being so stupid about that!"

"Really, just lay off Lindsay," Trent said.

"Fine," Harold said, irritated, then picked up an envelope from the ground. "I found something, guys!"

"What is it?" Trent asked.

Harold opened the envelope and pulled out the sheet of paper inside. "All it says is first."

"First?" Trent asked. "What does that mean?"

"That whoever killed Chris has something to do with first?" Cody asked confused. "Maybe it's the order we were voted off? Ezekiel was the first one voted off, wasn't he?"

"Isn't Ezekiel dead?" Trent asked, confused.

"Or just in hiding. We don't know anything about where Ezekiel is, or how he's holding up now."

"Or it might be the first one voted off this season," Harold said. "That was Geoff, right?"

"You think Geoff might have come back to the island to take revenge?" Trent asked, worried. "I never knew he had it in him. Or maybe it's the first person to come in fifth place."

"Yeah, you're stretching a bit much just to pin it on Leshawna, aren't you?" Cody asked. "I mean, I'm not exactly a fan of the girl, but that theory is a little out there."

"Or maybe it's the first person to win," Harold said. "Owen won. Could it be him?"

"I kind of have trouble seeing Owen killing anyone," Cody said, shrugging. "Just can't see it."

"Might just be what he wants us to think," Harold said, shifting his eyes. "For all we know, he's secretly a cannibal!"

Cody thought about it for a moment. "On second thought, that theory isn't as far out there as I might've thought."

"Really, Owen couldn't hurt a fly," Trent said.

"Unless he was bribed with food," Cody said. "If he voted off his girlfriend for cake, you can't really count him out."

"Even so, if someone bribed Owen with food to kill Chris, who did the bribing?" Trent asked, and thought about it for a few seconds. "Leshawna I bet."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: I can't believe Leshawna would kill Gwen like that! I mean, if she was willing to do in Chris, who knows which of her enemies she might target next!

Cody: I think Trent's a bit too fixated on blaming Leshawna, and Harold's a bit too fixated on blaming Lindsay. Even after that story, I still don't really get what Harold has against Lindsay, really.

* * *

Ezekiel had waken up, and pulled a little dart from his neck, and realized he was someplace dark. He shortly also noticed that Izzy was watching, and sitting in a small chair across the room, in dominatrix gear. "Whoot happened, eh?"

"Oh, it's for a challenge!" Izzy exclaimed, jumping from her seat. "You get to be dead!" Ezekiel started looking nervous. "Oh, you're not really dead. It's just pretend! Everyone else just needs to think you're dead. I've had to play dead before. I've gotten the RCMP off my back before by faking my own death, even finding a real dead body that looked just like me. Of course, they have my DNA now, so that trick wouldn't work again."

"OK," Ezekiel said, confused, holding his head. "What are you doing, thoogh?"

"Oh, I'm helping with this one," Izzy said, beaming. "What can I say? I'm a sucker for death, and murder, and… well, I think Chris could've done a better job with the challenge, but it's not too shabby for a beginner."

"Chris is a beginner?" Ezekiel asked.

"Well, to the whole murder thing, yeah," Izzy said matter-of-factly. "He's more of an involuntary manslaughter kind of guy. Just doesn't do him a lot of good to flat out kill his contestants and all. Then he'd have to like find new ones and junk. Easier if we stay alive, but if we happen to die, no big deal."

"I think it's a pretty big deal, eh?" Ezekiel said, worried.

"Don't worry," Izzy said, shaking her head. "This challenge is perfectly safe. I mean, unless everyone just starts killing each other out of fear. Which would be kind of cool, really."

"Cool?" Ezekiel asked, scratching his head.

"You know, fun to watch the carnage. I mean, it wouldn't be good, but it would be like a train wreck. Hard not to watch it. I don't think that'll happen, though. And I don't really want my friends to die, either. Well, except maybe Leshawna, but she's not my friend. Though I don't really want her to die, either? I think I'm going soft."

"Doon't worry, you are soft, eh?" Ezekiel said, smiling.

"I don't want to be soft, though! I'm Izzy! I'm **hardcore!**" Izzy exclaimed, emphasizing the last word.

"Soft is nicer to hug though, eh?" Ezekiel asked, somewhat confused. Izzy stared for a moment, blinking, then laughed.

"You really need to learn some slang," Izzy said cheerfully. "But yeah, that kind of soft is good. So you can caress my silky smooth skin and have your way with me, but watch out! I can bite back!" Ezekiel just looked nervously at her.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Ezekiel's like so much fun to play with! He doesn't seem to mind how rambunctious I get. Such a sweet guy when you get past the whole sexism thing. I think he's past that phase, anyway.

* * *

"We'll find proof Eva did it," Katie said, making sure Eva could hear, as Katie, Eva, and Bridgette searched around the cabin for clues. "I mean, since she wanted to kill you, she probably wanted to kill Chris, too. Heaven knows I wouldn't mind a stab at him."

Eva said nothing, but was looking away. "I think you're bothering her," Bridgette said. "It could've been anyone. It probably wasn't Eva."

"Thank you," Eva stated flatly.

"But she tried to kill you!" Katie cried, clinging to Bridgette. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Um, no," Bridgette said, irritated. "She threatened to kill me. Kind of a difference there."

"I'm really, really sorry," Eva said, still looking away. "I still have anger issues. I'm trying to get those fixed, but I'm not perfect. I know I went too far last year, but I was really trying hard this time, and trying to let out my anger away from everyone to avoid this." Eva turned around toward Bridgette, crying a little. "Please give me another chance."

Bridgette started tearing up quickly, as did Katie: they both quickly rushed over to hug Eva, who started smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: (crying) I love you guys!

Bridgette: I don't know… I just kind of, well, forgot about the threats. She was just so sincere, and she really had been a good friend, except for that little slip-up.

Katie: (crying) I couldn't help it. I know she's kind of a bully, but it was just so sad. I really hope we won't have to vote anyone off tonight.

* * *

"I can't believe you're the same person who wanted Bridgette dead last year," Katie said, smirking.

"I had a lot of issues," Eva said, shrugging. "I still have issues, but less. I didn't exactly like how everyone was absolutely terrified of me. I like the power, and beating up on people who piss me off, but I was lonely. Not everyone I bullied deserved it." Eva sighed. "It really wasn't fair when I got voted off last year, though. First Heather kicking me off, then Chris kicking me off--"

"Did I miss something?" Katie asked, confused. "I mean, I know about the Heather thing, but I don't remember Chris doing anything the second time."

"I do," Bridgette said. "Chris got bored with Leshawna and Eva completing challenges, randomly decided to make it sudden death on Leshawna's turn, and Eva never really had a fair chance."

"It really wasn't fair," Eva said, tearing up. "Though I guess threatening your life wasn't exactly fair, either. I wish I could say I was just letting off steam back then, too, but I really would've done it. I was just so angry when I was voted off that first time, I hadn't even paid close attention to who was insulting me. Still not sure why I thought that was you, Bridgette."

"It's OK," Bridgette said, smiling, hugging Eva again. "I still have no idea who I'm going to vote for if we lose tonight, though."

"You really think we're still having a campfire ceremony tonight, even with Chris dead and all?" Eva asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He'd probably come back as a zombie to finish this show," Bridgette said, laughing. "Seriously, I'd almost expect it."

"It's a pretty easy choice," Katie said. "I'd vote for Eva. No offense, Eva, but Bridgette's just so, so nice, and you're nice too, but less nice."

"And I'd vote for you Katie," Eva said. "You're nice, but still kind of annoying. Bridgette's nice, but less annoying."

"Gee, thank you for putting all the pressure on me," Bridgette said, making a face.

"Ooh, secret message!" Katie exclaimed as she picked up an envelope and opened it, pulling out the note inside. "Pretty lousy message."

"What does it say?" Bridgette asked.

"First. Just first," Katie said, confused.

"Well what the hell does that mean?" Eva asked.

"It might be a clue to this hoax, I mean, whole murder thing," Bridgette said. "Seriously, am I the only one with any doubts here?"

Katie shrugged. "He looked pretty dang dead to me."

"Well, this is Chris we're talking about, so it's probably some nonsensical clue that we'd have to be mind readers to comprehend," Bridgette said, irritated.

"Maybe it means the first of the month?" Katie asked, scratching her head.

"Could that be the day the so-called killer was born?" Bridgette asked. "How are we supposed to figure out everyone's birthdays, anyway?"

"What about the first word on that tissue paper?" Eva asked. "Wasn't it 'but'?"

"Maybe," Bridgette said, rubbing her chin. "How was that spelled, anyway? One t or two?"

"I didn't actually see the note," Eva said. "Maybe we should get that tissue paper back."

"Leshawna has a big butt, and I cannot lie," Katie said, smirking, getting blank stares from Eva and Bridgette. "Oh, come on, that song was awesome!"

"No," Bridgette and Eva said in unison. Katie sighed.

"Still, you might be on to something with Leshawna and her big butt," Bridgette said, then looked embarrassed. "Eva, feel free to kill me if I ever utter those words again."

"I may have to," Eva said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Those two have no taste in music whatsoever, I swear!

* * *

Izzy and Ezekiel were making out on the ground, both enjoying it, until Ezekiel had enough, pushing Izzy off, who was clinging for dear life. "Did I do something wrong?" Izzy asked, looking hurt.

"Noo, you did good," Ezekiel said. "I doon't know how teenagers really do that for so long, eh?"

"Oh, it's easy," Izzy said, looking a bit confused. "Not really sure how to explain it, though. It's just something that usually comes naturally. I'd have thought you'd be good with nature stuff. You seem like a nature kind of guy, and all."

"Being home schooled isn't really the same as living out in the wild," Ezekiel said, smiling, then looked down. "Do you want to talk about what Jewel--"

"No," Izzy quickly said, with a tone in her voice indicating she was very serious.

"OK. I just thought you might want to--""I don't."

Ezekiel looked down. "I'm soory. I messed up again, didn't I?" Izzy cocked her head, confused. "Saying the wrong thing again?"

"Oh," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "That wasn't anything you did wrong. That was just… well, I know this is going to like sound totally far out, and it's going to come as a shock to you, but well… see… I have issues."

"Issues of what?" Ezekiel said. "Like, a magazine?"

"I have problems," Izzy said. "But not anything you have to worry about, OK my sweetie?" Izzy innocently kissed him on the cheek, causing him to blush. Izzy grinned widely. "Just let me know when you want to make out some more. Izzy's always up for that!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: Izzy's really a sweet girl. I knoo she's a little crazy, boot I think it's what they're calling a front these days. Partly, at least.

* * *

"Anything pointing to Eva," Courtney said, as she, Lindsay, Tyler, and Leshawna were searching in the forest, hoping to find clues as to who killed Chris. "There has to be something."

"What if Ivy didn't do it?" Lindsay asked innocently.

"Oh, she did," Courtney stated flatly. "It's pretty obvious with her anger issues that she would be the only one who would be capable of something this heinous."

"That's disgusting," Lindsay said, wincing. "But doesn't Lafawnda have anger issues, too?" Leshawna nervously chuckled.

"Yes, but I'm pretty certain she wouldn't preemptively kill someone."

"You also have anger issues," Lindsay said, smiling obliviously.

"I do not," Courtney said, nervous, getting defensive.

"Yeah, you do," Leshawna said, laughing. "The whole defending Heather thing?"

"I was right about that," Courtney said, irritated.

Leshawna sighed. "You was right. I'm really sorry I caused that big mess. I kinda' owe an apology to that she-demon."

"So do I," Courtney said, looking down.

"Didn't you already apologize to Heather?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Well, yeah, but I really let her down, believing the cockamamie story of some stranger."

"Is that a real word?" Leshawna asked, confused, but then smiled. "Of course it's a word. You, of all people, wouldn't use a make-believe word and all."

"So you made a mistake," Lindsay said, smiling. "People do that."

"I don't make mistakes!" Courtney shouted. "I should be above mistakes!"

"Really, what I did was a whole lot worse than what you did," Leshawna said. "Shoulda' just waited for Heather to make her move."

"I love that game!" Lindsay exclaimed, but backed down when she saw the glares she was getting. "You know, that game where you put the colorful sliders under…" Lindsay trailed off, realizing no one was getting it. "Did I get the name of it wrong?"

"You didn't get anything wrong," Tyler said, smiling, as the two walked up to each other and kissed each other.

"Clues, guys, remember?" Courtney asked, irritated. "You know, something we can find to prove that Eva did it?"

"Or someone else," Leshawna added. "I mean, ya' never know, someone might be framing her, and all."

"You would be the expert on that," Courtney stated flatly. Leshawna ducked down again, looking guilty. "We do need to find evidence, though."

"Is this evident?" Lindsay asked, picking up a rock. "I think it's a rock."

"You're right!" Tyler exclaimed. "You really are my little genius!"

Lindsay blushed. "You're so sweet." Tyler and Lindsay gave each other another long kiss.

"It's really not the time for making out," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "Eva, killer, remember?"

"Or maybe not Eva," Leshawna said. "We don't know it was Eva."

"I found another piece of envelope!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"You mean evidence, hon," Leshawna said.

"It's not really worth trying," Courtney stated.

"But it is an envelope!" Lindsay said. "It's not addressed to anyone, though. Is it illegal to open up an envelope if it's not addressed to anyone?"

"Not as illegal as murder," Leshawna said.

"OK," Lindsay said nervously, as she opened the envelope and took out a piece of paper that was in it.

"What does it say?" Courtney asked, somewhat impatient.

"First," Lindsay said, confused.

"First what?" Courtney asked, more impatient. "Tyler, can you read it?"

"I can read it just fine, thank you," Lindsay said, annoyed. "It's just a three-letter word."

"Oh," Courtney said, confused. "Doesn't 'first' have five letters?"

"Maybe whoever wrote this misspelled it, then" Lindsay said, confused. "They spelled it one, s, t. Is that wrong?"

"Well, no, I guess it's not," Courtney said, looking guilty.

"Why would someone put 1st in an envelope, though?" Tyler asked, scratching his head. "It doesn't really make any sense."

"Is that actual evidence?" Leshawna asked, confused. "I mean, it don't mean nothin'."

"That's what Eva wants us to think," Courtney said, smirking. "The 1st is meaningless. What we're supposed to do with it is handwriting analysis. Get a sample of Eva's handwriting, compare it to this 1st, and then we've got her!"

"Does writing 1st in an envelope really prove she killed anyone, though?" Tyler asked, confused. "Shouldn't we try to find some connection to the 1st and Eva?"

"Maybe it's her birthday?" Courtney asked. "Is there a way to check medical records?"

"I don't think it's a birthday," Lindsay said, nervous. "I've never wrote a date like that."

"What?" Courtney asked. "January first, February first… it fits."

"Well, yeah, but think about when you write out a date," Lindsay stated, sounding as if it were common sense. "Most people don't write out February first. They write February one, without the little s and t, for some reason."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: You know, there's not a whole lot that's more embarrassing than being upstaged by Lindsay. It's amazing how oblivious she can often be when at other times, she notices little details like that. I'd really love to see how Lindsay's mind works from her point of view. It has to be fascinating. (Courtney starts talking quietly and quickly, looking down.) And I'm sorry I lost my patience with you back there.

Leshawna: I always wrote out the little st's and th's. Was that wrong?

* * *

The other three thought about it for a moment before Courtney spoke up. "That actually makes sense. But if it's not a date, what could it be?"

"Maybe it's a clue?" Lindsay asked. "First something… first envelope? First ink? First letter? First paper?"

"That's a bit farfetched," Courtney stated. "Still, you've got the wheels spinning, so that's a good thing."

"That's it!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Don't you get it? It's like _Wheel of Fortune!"_

The others looked at her, confused. "Baby, are you OK?" Leshawna asked, concerned.

"The answer was on the Kleenex!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling brightly.

"Well, yeah," Courtney said. "We all saw the tissue paper. Eva killed Ezekiel. And from that, we can also gather that she killed Chris."

"That's not what I meant," Lindsay said, irritated. "I think that Kleenex had a clue on it, though. I don't really remember what it said, though. Does anyone else remember?"

"A bunch of stupid stuff, and that Eva killed Ezekiel," Courtney stated flatly.

"I need the exact words," Lindsay said, irritated.

"So you think there was, like, a hidden message in there?" Tyler asked, smiling.

"Why else would the Kleenex have had all that gibberish on it?" Lindsay asked, smirking. "And this letter tells us how to decode it!"

"But it's just a 1st," Courtney said, a bit whiny. "That doesn't make any logical sense."

"I'll explain it on the way," Lindsay stated. "We need that Kleenex, though!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Just feels so wrong, Lindsay telling **us **that she'll explain it. World's gone mad, I tell ya'!

Courtney: (staring blanking) Lindsay is a **genius! **I'd seriously love to see the inner workings of her mind, because I'm not sure how anyone was reasonably supposed to figure that out!

* * *

"It was right here, wasn't it?" Lindsay asked, confused, as she was searching the dead body for the tissue. "Kleenex can't walk away by itself, can it?"

"No, but someone could have taken it," Courtney said, then slapped her face. "You know, I'm not sure why we didn't just take it before. We should've known it was important."

"Because it was covered in snot," Leshawna said. "Seriously, that the sort of thing you would've wanted to carry 'round?"

"You make a good point," Courtney stated. "Still, what can we do without the tissue?"

"We'll find out who took it, and then we'll take it back!" Tyler exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air.

"No, we'll take it back," Courtney stated. "Physical… well, physical anything isn't really your strong suit."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Of course, his only strong point is being able to comfort Lindsay so. You know, I really should dislike him because of his overall uselessness, but for some reason, it just seems really nice, the way he makes Lindsay happy.

* * *

"Our other teammates might have it, though," Leshawna said.

"Team Omega is kind of useless, though. Or mostly useless. I guess Cody isn't really that useless, but still, I actually think we know how to solve this mystery and win this challenge!"

"Chris was murdered," Tyler said, looking sick. "You really think this is a challenge?"

"I think everything's a challenge, and I think we need to make sure to… well… win, I guess."

"That didn't sound too confident," Leshawna said.

"Well, I don't know if you guys noticed, but the other team, the Killer Chrises, I mean, isn't really doing that well."

"But we gots to win, right?" Leshawna asked, confused.

"Well, yes," Courtney said, uneasy. "They've only got three people, though. If they lose, there's a one in three chance they'll get rid of the **wrong **person! But in reality, it's obvious they would get rid of the wrong person."

"You mean Bridgette, hon?" Leshawna asked, concerned. "Everyone likes her, though. I don't think you have to worry about that."

"Unless she's like the only person left on her team, and her team loses again," Lindsay said, looking almost bored, then a look of confusion went across her face. "You know, I wonder if she'd have to vote for herself if she was the only person left on her team, and she lost."

"Won't happen," Leshawna said, smiling. "We've got a merge after this challenge, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Lindsay said, smiling. "I forgot about that. I remember how much fun we had last year, when Bridgette got to move in with us… except that Heather didn't really let me talk to her, and we never really got close. That was sad."

"That's the kind of person Heather is," Leshawna said. "Evil conniving--"

"We're on civil terms," Courtney said, irritated, with her arms crossing her chest. "Let's not push the issue."

"Sorry," Leshawna said sweetly. "Force of habit."

"We should probably find the other team, since if they have it, we might lose," Courtney said. "And that… well, I'd rather not lose, even though I don't really want them to lose either. Because if they lost, then Bridgette might lose, and I don't really want that to happen, either, but we still can't lose ourselves. I mean, I don't know how we can protect Leshawna if we lost."

"Thank you, sista'!" Leshawna exclaimed, hugging Courtney, though Courtney, shocked and then irritated, pushed her off. "Sorry, I forgot."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I kind of feel like I'm betraying Heather again, by not staying angry with Leshawna.  
Lindsay: Leshawna's been nicer lately, though. I really think she's realized how cruel she was being.  
Courtney: Except she's still mad at Heather.  
Lindsay: That one goes a bit deeper. Heather and Leshawna hated each other for a long time. I think we just need to help her see the nicer Heather.  
Courtney: You know you just got Leshawna's name right twice, don't you?  
Lindsay: I did? (Lindsay glomps Courtney.) Yeah! I knew I could get it eventually!  
Courtney: Intellectually, I know Leshawna doesn't deserve forgiveness.  
Lindsay: But your heart says different.  
Courtney: (sighing) Yeah.

* * *

"But really, I'd do great every two thousand evenings, keeping it lively. Little Eva did murder Ezekiel," Bridgette said, confused, as she, Eva, and Katie were behind the cabins. "Evenings kind of sounds like Eva."

"I didn't do it," Eva said, exasperated.

"I know. I'm just trying to figure this out," Bridgette said, scratching her head. "Didn't some profile somewhere refer to Leshawna as lively? Could that be another clue?"

"That's not the first word, though," Katie said, confused. "But butt is first, with a different spelling, so that's still a possibility. We know she's capable of some pretty depraved acts, after all."

Not too far away, Courtney was with Lindsay, who was spying with a pair of binoculars, writing the message down on a sheet of paper, each word on a separate line.

"That's so obvious, that I really should have noticed," Courtney said, irritated with herself. "I'd like to think that I'm usually more perceptive than that. It doesn't exactly prove guilt, though. That would never hold up in court. Not that I'd want it to. Not that I even believe it's true."

"It's what Chris wants, though, and what we need to win the challenge!" Lindsay exclaimed, smirking.

"It's a little too convenient, if you ask me," Courtney said, irritated. "Dead body sure seemed real, but it can't be. This was all on purpose. All some elaborate ruse for a challenge, I'm sure. Because Bridgette wouldn't kill anyone."

"As far as this challenge is concerned, Bridgette killed him," Lindsay said. "How do we make it official to win the challenge, though?"

"I don't know," Courtney said, confused. "Go up to Chris' supposedly dead body to tell him, I guess."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (looking freaked out) I wasn't scared at all. Not one iota!

* * *

Courtney and Lindsay slowly approached the dead body, shivering. "Um, Chris," Lindsay said, nervous, "I don't really believe it's true, and I'm pretty sure you can hear me right now, but Bridgette killed you."

"Correct!" Chris exclaimed, appearing from behind the two, as they jumped high into the sky in fear, landing on the dead body. They screamed and hurried off onto the ground before Chris. "And by the way, awesome reaction! We need to get that one in slow motion when it goes to air, ha ha!"

"Not funny Chris!" Courtney shouted, standing up, leaning straight toward him.

"Oh, come on, where's you guys' sense of humor?" Izzy asked, rushing up with a dazed Ezekiel. "That was actually pretty funny." Courtney and Lindsay glared at Izzy. "Trust me, ten years from now, you'll look back and laugh at that moment."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: As much good as Izzy's done, I suppose we could let that one slide.  
Lindsay: Well, she is Irma. She's just… weird. Not really mean, though.  
Courtney: Still, not funny!

* * *

The eleven campers, as well as Izzy, were standing before Chris, who was standing in front of the dead body. "And the Screaming Pansies have won yet another challenge! And no one is surprised." Bridgette, Eva, and Katie looked defeated.

"So, the dead body was a fake?" Bridgette asked, worried.

"No, it's a real dead body," Chris said, smirking. "Just wasn't me. Some John Doe who was at the morgue. Guy who works there owed me a favor."

"That's kind of sick," Bridgette said, irritated.

"I thought it was pretty cool, really," Izzy said, nibbbling on Ezekiel's neck, who looked embarrassed.

"Courtney, why don't you tell us how you solved this little mystery?" Chris said.

"I didn't," Courtney said, smiling. "Lindsay actually did."

"Look," Chris said, "I know it's nice to try to share credit, but we all know that Lindsay's **way **too stupid to figure it out!"

"It wasn't that hard," Lindsay said.

"Well then, why don't you just try to explain it then," Chris said, mocking, sticking his tongue out at Lindsay.

"It was simple," Lindsay said, cheerfully. "The Kleenex--"

"They're not sponsoring our show, so let's not give them free advertising," Chris said, irritated.

"Huh?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Just use the generic term!" Chris whined.

"O… K…" Lindsay said, dumbfounded. "Well, the generic brand of Kleenex had a message on it. Most of it didn't matter, but I knew there was a message hidden in there. We found an letter that just said 1st. I was having trouble figuring out what it meant, but just saying things that popped into my head, it hit me: it was a letter. 1st letter! So we went back to find the Klee… generic brand of Kleenex that had the message, but it was gone, so me and Courtney spied on Bridgette, Kelly, and Avis to get the message, and when I wrote it down one word on each line, the message was clear: 'Bridgette killed me.'" Lindsay was beaming, looking proud of herself.

"I'm impressed, Courtney," Chris said. "Not only did you solve the case, but you even managed to train Lindsay to memorize that entire monologue!"

"Um, no," Courtney said, irritated. "If I solved the case, believe me, I'd be taking the credit myself."

"Seriously, Lindsay figured it out," Tyler said.

"Surprised me too, but I was there," Leshawna said. "Lindsay solved it."

"First, you're just trying to suck up to everyone because they hate you," Chris snapped at Leshawna, then turned to Tyler. "Second, you're her boyfriend, and she'd dump you for someone better if you didn't lavish her with false praise." Chris then turned to Courtney. "And you're not usually nice, so you're just up to something, I'm sure."

"But I did solve it!" Lindsay shouted, on the verge of crying.

"I believe you," Bridgette said, smiling, going over to congratulate Lindsay. "That was pretty perceptive of you, really."

"Like it would take much to impress you, blondie," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, one idiot impressing another. Not a whole lot of effort required there."

"Don't press your luck," Eva said, with venom in her voice, rushing up to Chris, lifting him by his shirt collar. "I may be better with controlling my anger, but I **will **make you pay if you don't lay off on Bridgette this instant!" Chris looked frightened, and was silent after Eva let him go.

"Wait," Courtney said, confused. "I thought you didn't like Bridgette."

"No," Eva said. "I was just angry, and I vented it and screamed my head off in the confessional so I could calm myself down, because I didn't want to hurt Bridgette. She's been my best friend here. I mean, well, not counting, well--"

"Don't worry about that part," Katie said, winking. Eva nodded.

"Courtney," Bridgette said, smiling, and hugging her, "you're a great friend, and I really appreciate that you were looking out for me, and risking Eva's wrath for me, but really, Eva's a pretty nice person. Just has a few anger problems, and she's trying to better herself. I love both of you!"

Courtney looked confused, but let it go. "If you say so, Bridgette. I mean, I trust your judgment."

"Bridgette's good with people," Lindsay said, twirling her hair between her fingers. "If she trusts Ava, I trust Ava!"

"Well, OK," Courtney said, a bit confused. "Just… well… I don't know."

"I promise not to hurt Bridgette. Really," Eva said, smiling.

"You've really got a pretty smile," Katie said, smiling brightly. "Wish you'd show it more often."

"I don't know," Eva said. "Just doesn't come natural to me."

"I'm sorry you guys lost, though," Courtney said. "I mean, I'd have been worried if our team lost as well, but I feel bad for you guys, that you haven't really caught much of a break. I really hope you can survive again, Bridgette!"

"Thank you," Bridgette said, sad. "I'm really not looking forward to the ceremony."

"Don't think any of us are, really," Eva said, looking down.

"Whoever loses gets to be on _Total Drama Izzy, _though," Izzy said, excited.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Chris said, annoyed.

"Lucky for me, you don't! The producers already talked to you about it."

Chris grumbled. "Don't remind me."

"What is Izzy talking about?" Courtney asked, confused.

"You'll see!" Izzy exclaimed, then suspiciously looked around. "Hopefully later rather than sooner, though."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Don't get me wrong, I like Eva, but Bridgette's like my surrogate BFFFL. I really hate to break up Eva and Cody, but I just don't have a choice. I'm sorry, Eva. (Katie starts crying a little.)

Bridgette: (crying) I'm really, really sorry, Katie, but I just feel terrible for Eva, and Eva feels bad enough for what she did. I just don't have the heart to vote for her. I really wish you could both stay. You're both awesome people!

* * *

Chris was standing behind his podium at the campfire, with Bridgette, Eva, and Katie sitting on their stumps. Courtney, Lindsay, Leshawna, Ezekiel, and Cody were nervously watching from behind the usual hiding bush. "I didn't know you were so worried about Bridgette," Courtney said to Cody.

"Don't get me wrong, Bridgette's nice and all, but she's not really who I'm worried about," Cody said, looking upon the ceremony nervously.

"Once again, your team sucked in today's challenge," Chris said to the Killer Chrises, irritated.

"Once again, that challenge didn't even make sense," Katie said, narrowing her eyes. "Really, how does a stupid little pun and word puzzle supposedly prove that Bridgette supposedly killed you?"

"Once again, I'm the boss, and don't care for your pithy opinions!" Chris whined. "Regardless, I have but two marshmallows on this plate. There are three of you. The one of you who does not get a marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back! **Ever!**"

"Seriously, whichever of you leaves tonight, I really, really hope you can get back on," Bridgette said, crying, walking up to hug her two friends.

"You're awfully cocky, aren't you?" Chris asked, irritated. "I mean, how are you so sure that you're not the one leaving tonight?"

Bridgette gulped. "I guess I'm not. I'd just be really surprised if they both voted for me, since I know Eva's closer to me than she is Katie, and Katie's closer to me than she is Eva."

"And people think I have a big ego," Chris complained, shaking his head. "Regardless, you're right." Chris threw Bridgette her marshmallow, who looked relieved to receive it, but also clearly worried for her two friends. Courtney, Lindsay, and Ezekiel also sighed in relief, though Cody was still worried.

"Eva. Katie. One of you two is about to leave us. Frankly, you both deserve to leave. Eva, you've got anger issues." Eva was surprisingly unmoved by Chris' comment. "Katie, you're just an all-around monster. Regardless, one of you gets to stay. The final marshmallow goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Katie." Chris, clearly unhappy, tossed Katie her marshmallow, then started grumbling. Bridgette looked confused, though.

"I don't get it," Bridgette said. I hated to do it--I mean, I really hated to do it--but I voted for Katie. Did someone rig the votes again?"

"Believe me, if someone rigged the votes when Katie could've gone home, I'd have definitely called the cheater out on it," Chris said, sounding angry. "Whether I like it or not--and believe me, I **do not **like it--the vote was legit."

"But if I voted for Katie, that means…" Bridgette trailed off, confused, then hugged Eva tightly. "Why, Eva?"

"I have issues I need to work out," Eva said, smiling. "I sure as hell wasn't going to vote for you, and Katie's just been so nice and bubbly, and annoying, but even still, she looks up to you and was worried about you. I messed up. Neither of you two really deserved to go, and I didn't want Katie to lose just because you felt sorry for me."

"I'm sorry," Katie said, crying, joining in on the hug. "I mean, you're kinda' mean, but you're kinda' nice too."

"If you come back, you aren't going to be really angry and seek revenge on us, are you?" Bridgette asked, giggling.

"You never know," Eva said, smirking. Katie looked a little nervous, but Bridgette just continued giggling. "Kidding, Katie," Eva said, looking innocent.

"That was really big of you, Eva," Cody said, coming forth, with Courtney, Lindsay, Leshawna, and Ezekiel following. "It's really a shame you're leaving, though. You're a really cool, tough gal." Cody started nervously rubbing his shoe on the ground.

Eva sighed. "A goodbye kiss would be nice." Cody smiled, then walked up to Eva, as she lifted him up and they started a long, sweet kiss, with Chris clearly annoyed, Bridgette, Leshawna, and Lindsay looking surprised, and Courtney in complete shock.

"Can we hurry it up already? Geez!" Chris complained.

"I really don't think you should mess with Edie," Lindsay said, worried. "She might kill you. Again."

Eva put Cody down after they finished kissing. Courtney extended her right hand as Eva started walking toward the dock. "I'm sorry about the misunderstanding earlier. And all the misunderstandings we've had before. You've been a good friend toward Bridgette. At least this season."

Eva shook her hand with a strong grip that Courtney didn't seem to mind. "You were just being a good, protective friend. I can't fault you for that."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: And I didn't mean that as an insult in any way. Eva's changed for the better, but Heather and Lindsay have, too. And, well, me too, really. At least I feel I have. Also, I have to congratulate Eva for knowing how to give a proper handshake. Most people don't seem to be able to get a properly tight grip. I can't complain about Eva's grip, that's for sure.

* * *

Leshawna hugged Eva tightly as she passed. "Thank you, girl! Bein' my friend when I didn't have anyone else."

"You're welcome," Eva said, still smiling. "And we both know how horrible Heather is, but just don't go all psycho next time. You can take her down without hurting anyone else in the process, you know."

"Too late now, I guess," Leshawna said, sighing.

"Please give Heather another chance," Lindsay said, tearing a bit.

"Lindsay, look," Eva said, shaking her head. "I know you mean well, and I promise I'm not going to bother her. Unless she does something to me first. But it still doesn't mean I have to like the girl."

Lindsay sighed, looking defeated. "I guess."

Eva climbed into the Boat of Losers, with Bridgette, Katie, Leshawna, and Cody following. "Bridgette," Eva said, chuckling to herself a bit. "If you win the million, you owe me a new mp3 player."

"Sure thing!" Bridgette exclaimed, as the four waved Eva off as the boat left. Cody and Leshawna eventually left, but Bridgette just sat down on the edge of the dock. Katie, looking concerned, sat next to her.

"It's not your fault, you know. It was an accident. She knows that. We all know that."

"And she voted herself off because of me," Bridgette said, crying. "I mean, I'm sorry that I kind of voted for you--"

"Don't be," Katie said, smiling, hugging Bridgette. "You had to vote for one of us. And I figured especially since you felt bad for Eva that it was gonna' be me. I mean, I'd have been with Sadie and Noah, at least. It wouldn't have been all bad."

"But you didn't want to leave," Bridgette said, crying a bit.

"No, I didn't," Katie said. "I especially like how Chris hates me being here, though."

Bridgette giggled. "That's actually a pretty good reason to keep you around."

"You two don't deserve it, but here are more clothes for you guys," Chris complained, dropping off a box. "The Courtney outfit just doesn't look very good on you."

"Well, no one else likes you much, either," Bridgette said.

"You guys just don't understand my awesomeness," Chris said, full of himself. "Regardless, the Killer Chrises now number but two: Katie and Bridgette. Both of who deserve to be long, long gone. Bridgette, I can kinda' understand why you're still here--everyone feels sorry for a dumb blonde, and all--"

"She's not dumb!" Katie shouted, getting up in Chris' face, poking his chest, making him uncomfortable

"You wretched little thing though, I can't figure out!" Chris yelled. "Nine people on your team voted out, and somehow the most annoying human being on the planet survived them all?! It's inconceivable!"

"She's really not that bad," Bridgette said, angry.

"You're just too stupid to realize it!" Chris yelled back. "So we have the two misfits without a prayer. Will Katie survive yet another elimination ceremony by some miracle? Or will she finally get the humiliation conga she so richly deserves?!"

"No," Bridgette stated, as she and Katie pushed Chris over the edge of the dock.

"Whatever happens though, it ought to be interesting," Katie said, smiling. "So watch me, Bridgette, and the rest of the gang, next time on, say it with me Bridge!"

Bridgette and Katie leaned toward each other, holding each others backs and standing on one foot as the said together, _"Total Drama Eva!"_

* * *

Noah, Sadie, and Heather were waiting on the dock of the Playa' des Losers when Eva arrived. "You really did good out there," Noah said, smiling, giving Eva a thumbs up.

Sadie, crying, glomped Eva. "I'm so proud of you, saving Katie like that! I mean, I really miss her, but I'm so happy she got to stay in the game! But you're nice too. I really think the whole thing with Cody is cute! You two are so cute together!"

"I'm really sorry for what you had to go through back there," Heather said, sad. "I know what it's like, not having anyone trust you, trying desperately to win back people's trust." Heather extended her right hand to Eva. After looking at her hand for a few seconds, Eva shook it, though harder than Heather would have liked, though Heather was holding the pain in.

"Thank you, Heather," Eva said, smiling. Heather smiled back. "I guess it really would only be fair to give you another chance, too."

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Katie  
Eva: Eva  
Katie: Eva

Eva: 2  
Katie: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Heather, Gwen, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva

Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Katie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Trent, Tyler

* * *

That I did not want to do. I was even getting attached to Eva, but that's one of the problems with changing the outline for the story: not always able to find a way to rearrange things like elimination order. Eva was not intended to be a particularly important character in this story when I'd started it--she was originally just going to make up with Bridgette, and eliminated earlier, but when you're writing, ideas come up, and changes get made, and... honestly, I love how Eva came out in the story, but I could not see a feasible way of keeping her around without some drastic changes.

I can't even say it's a situation like Noah's, or Heather's, who needed to be eliminated for certain reasons. Eva was simply eliminated for not seeing who else I could have eliminated in her place, really. For that, I'm sorry for anyone who was hoping she'd go further into the game... but really, eleven people were eliminated before she was. In the end, that ain't too bad, right? One of the problems with being flexible with the story outline, I guess. We'll be seeing more of Eva still: you guys do know what the next chapter is, right?


	26. Total Drama Izzy II

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 26: Total Drama Izzy II**

There were two large arm chairs in a large room at the Playa' des Losers, in the middle of a fairly small stage. The yellow one on the right was empty, while the green one on the left was occupied, though only a hand with a bit of green could be seen. There was also a large flat screen above the sofa, as well as four cushioned and backed bleacher-style seats on both sides of the sofa in the middle. On the sofa on the right side of the stage, Geoff and DJ were sitting on the top row, while Heather and Beth were sitting on the bottom row, in that order. And before them all was an audience full of random people, eager to watch the events that would soon be unfolding before them.

"Are we ready?" Izzy said, the occupant of the green chair, still unseen. "Dim the lights!" Izzy exclaimed, at which point the lights were indeed dimmed. "Cue the music!" Bach's _Fugue No. 2 _started playing as Izzy slowly spun the chair around, to time the end with her fully facing the audience. "Hello, dear friends, and welcome to another edition of _Total Drama Izzy._ Today we're going to be talking about that lovely letter, the letter with that 1st on it. But first, I'd like to bring out my lovely co-host, Nicole!"

The lights went back on as Nicole, a fairly short girl with curly dark brown hair going past her shoulders, heavily eye shadowed eyes, and slightly tanned skin walked out from behind the curtain on the right side of the stage, and sat in the yellow chair next to Izzy's. She was wearing a white tank top with a leather jacket over it, jeans, and short black high-heeled boots. "Thank you for having me back Izzy," she said, smiling.

Izzy glomped her, tipping Nicole's chair over. "Oh. Sorry about that, but I'm just all pumped about doing this again with you! It was so much fun the last time!"

"It was," Nicole said, smiling. "Probably safer than actually playing the game. But we don't get a million bucks doing this."

"I do!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming. "But don't worry, you're getting paid too, of course."

"I could get used to this," Nicole said, looking around. "Pretty sweet gig."

"You all remember Nicole, right?" Izzy asked. "Judged the cosplaying challenge, and the 'suck up to Chris' challenge, which, in my not-so-humble opinion, was the lamest challenge idea **ever**."

"I wasn't too crazy about that secret challenge," Nicole said.

"I'm with Nicole," Heather said. "Being thrown into a big tub of puke--**twice**--is not exactly my idea of fun."

Izzy shrugged. "That was mean, I'll grant you, but still, that's going to make for better TV than the stupid sucking up to Chris challenge. I mean, really, how much material did Chris really get that would make for good TV?"

"I liked the fan fiction challenge, though," Beth said, smiling. "I even wrote a little something. It's called 'Cody and Beth Punish Justin.'"

"You guys all wrote stuff, didn't you?" Izzy asked. "You guys shouldn't really get your hopes up for becoming future writers. Except yours, Heather. That one I liked."

"Thank you," Heather said, blushing.

"Gwen's was also pretty good, if not more than a little disturbing," Izzy said, grinning. "Of course, I'm a big fan of disturbing, but we'll get to that later. But for now, we'd like to move on to our first guest."

Nicole started. "Our first guest had her diary read to--"

"We're not starting with her," Izzy interrupted, shaking her head. "We're doing them in reverse today."

"We are?" Nicole asked, confused. "Why are we doing them in reverse order today?"

"Build up to the climax," Izzy said. "If we started off with 'I really need you tonight,' then it's all downhill for the rest of the song." Nicole looked utterly baffled. "Just trust me on this. We're starting with the most-recently voted out contestant."

"All right," Nicole said, nodding, though still not getting it. "Our first guest destroyed a cabin in search of an iPod--"

"Zune," Izzy said, sighing.

"OK," Nicole said, confused. "She also threatened Bridgette's very life, as well as making out with Cody while tied to a bomb, here's Eva!"

Eva walked out onto the stage from the left, looking like her usual grumpy self, then sat on the lower part of the seats to the right of Izzy. "Eva!" Izzy exclaimed. "We're so happy that you could join us today!"

"Wasn't really given a choice," Eva said, irritated.

"Aww, come on!" Izzy exclaimed, going up to Eva to nudge her. "I mean, I know it's sad that you're not still on the show to compete for the million dollars, but it would be nice to try to be a little happier, at least. I mean, you're with friends, you don't have to put up with stupid Chris--"

"Friends," Eva said, angry, crossing her arms. "That's a good one. I don't have friends here."

"Come on now," Izzy said, continuing to elbow Eva's arm. "You've made some friends this year. We all saw you and Cody going at it, huh? Huh?" Izzy winked at Eva.

"Cody?" Beth asked, confused. Heather ducked down a bit.

Eva sighed. "Everyone's going to see that, aren't they? Pretty sure I'm going to be laughed out of my gym now."

"Because you're going out with a weakling?" Izzy asked, somewhat concerned.

"Because I'm going out with anyone, period. That's not the kind of thing the fellows back at my gym respect."

"Wait," Beth said, confused. "You're going out with Cody?"

"Sort of," Eva said, looking down. "Well, yes."

"I thought you said Cody liked me," Beth said, with sad eyes to Heather, who was looking guilty.

"I thought he did," Heather said, nervous. "I did warn you that someone else might snatch him up, though."

"Am I missing something here?" Eva asked, confused.

Izzy answered. "Cody liked Beth, but Beth liked Justin--"

"We don't need to talk about that," Beth said, with her arms crossed.

"Point is, Beth didn't realize Cody liked her, and she's just learning about you and Cody, and I think it's a bit of a shock to her."

"So I'm just his second choice," Eva said, angry. "Since his first choice didn't even notice him."

"Wasn't Gwen his first choice?" Geoff asked, confused.

"Ixnay on the IngwaldRay," Izzy said, glaring at Geoff, motioning her finger across her neck.

"Oh, right," Eva said, looking down. "Wouldn't want to forget that."

"Cody likes you, OK?" Izzy said, smiling, putting a hand on Eva's shoulder. "I'm pretty sure he's over them. I think."

"Aww," Beth went, starting to tear up a little. Heather pat her on the back, looking concerned.

"Gwen doesn't really like him like that, anyway," Heather said. "She isn't competition."

"But Beth is," Eva said. "Don't suppose we could wrestle for him, huh?"

"I'm pretty sure I'd lose," Beth said, nervous.

"Pretty sure that was a joke," Nicole said, looking concerned for Beth.

"Yeah," Eva said. "I'm not very good with jokes. Not the first time I've heard it."

Izzy looked concerned. "Cody likes you, OK? Really." Beth looked down. "Now, I have to ask, what's the deal with you and Bridgette?"

"I had no intention of actually doing any of that stuff I threatened," Eva said, irritated.

"I know," Izzy said. "But I was thinking more about last year, when Chris invited us back to the show."

"Thanks for reminding me," Eva said, irritated. "I had anger problems back then."

"Back then," Nicole said, raising an eyebrow.

"**More **back then," Eva said. "I was angry that Bridgette would stab her teammate in the back and say I needed anger management."

"She didn't exactly stab you in the back, though," Nicole said. "She had to vote someone off. Why not you?"

"I was their strongest player!" Eva shouted. "I could've helped them destroy the other team!"

"And you terrified them," Nicole said, shaking her head.

Eva looked down. "Looking back, I realize that. And I've realized how cruel I was to Bridgette, especially. The girl was nice to everyone! Maybe the problem wasn't with her, but with me."

"It was," Izzy said, nonchalantly.

"I **know **that!" Eva shouted. "I was lonely last year, with no one really caring about me, and looking back, why would they? They just thought I was a monster. Bridgette was always so nice, and I was really hoping she might give me another chance, and I got lucky."

"Or you were nice to her," Izzy said.

"Or she was too scared to push me away," Eva said, resting her head in her hands.

Izzy shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe at first, but Bridgette really likes you!"

"Even after that recent rant," Eva said, hopeful.

"Bridgette was freaked out. You two made up, though. If Bridgette didn't like you, she would have voted you off."

"Why did you vote for yourself, anyway?" Nicole asked.

Eva sighed. "Well, I certainly wasn't going to vote for Bridgette, but I couldn't bring myself to vote for Katie, either. She's been close to Bridgette, and even trying to help her with that, well, problem with me. And I knew Bridgette was close to both of us, but would probably pick Katie because she felt guilty about being angry with me, and Katie absolutely did not deserve to go because Bridgette felt sorry for me."

"Bridgette was trying to be nice, though," Izzy said, smiling.

"I know that," Eva said. "But she had one friend who was sticking up for her and trying to make peace, and another who was threatening to kill her. I don't see how I deserved to stay over Katie."

"We don't mind!" Geoff exclaimed. "Would've been noisy here if Katie came over." The others glared at Geoff.

Eva was thinking for a moment. "Noah can take care of him." Eva thought for a bit longer. "Actually, he probably can't. Maybe I could mess him up a little?"

"Bridgette wouldn't like that. Boyfriend, remember?" Izzy said.

"Oh, yeah," Eva said. "Still don't get what she sees in the guy."

Izzy smiled. "He's not so bad. I guess that's all the questions we--"

"Wait!" Heather exclaimed. "I was really hoping for another question."

"Are you sure?" Izzy asked. "I was a little worried about that one. I mean, she is Eva, after all, no offense." Eva didn't look too happy with Izzy's response. "Anyway, we do have another question for you: what do you think about Heather?"

"You're kidding," Eva said, angry.

"All the time, but the question's still legit," Izzy said. "So what about Heather?"

"I hate her! She's a miserable excuse for a human being that's set out to make everyone's lives miserable and is somehow manipulating everyone again this year!" Heather looked distraught; Beth gave her a light hug, then glared at Eva. "See?! That's exactly what I was talking about!"

"So, what has she done this year, exactly?" Izzy asked.

"I don't know!" Eva shouted. "But she's Heather! I know she's done something!"

"We could say the same thing about you, ya' know," Izzy said, shrugging.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eva asked, angry.

"You're Eva! Last year you were horrible to everyone! Why should we believe you changed?"

"But you know I've changed!" Eva shouted.

"I don't know," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Punching Courtney when she couldn't defend herself? Tsk, tsk. Not very nice." Eva looked guilty upon recalling that moment. "Really, though, if you've changed, why couldn't Heather?" Heather was sitting in her seat, smiling, waving nervously.

Eva sighed. "I see your point."

"Eva, I'm sorry that I stole your mp3 player last year to arrange it so your team would vote you off," Heather said, tearing up. "I've done a lot of things to everyone, and I regret all of that. I really wanted to make amends this year. Maybe make a real friend, even, and I have. I hadn't had a real friend in years. Heck, I didn't even have a fake friend in the past year. Jewel was making sure to make my life a living hell ever since I got home last season. You can't even imagine how miserable my life's been in the past year."

Eva sighed. "I'm sorry Heather, OK? I guess if I want people to forgive me, I really should do the same."

Heather smiled, crying. "I swear, I will never be that way again." Heather started walking up to Eva, who looked confused. Heather gave Eva a big hug. "Thank you." Eva eventually smiled, and just pat Heather's back. Heather went back to her seat. "I'm sorry about getting up from my seat, Izzy."

Izzy shrugged. "I'm not that strict about the rules. And I love the spontaneity! But now, let's get to the letters!" Izzy whipped out a small bag from behind her chair. "First letter--"

"Don't really want to hear about 'first letter' anymore," Nicole said.

"Forever tainted," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Anyway, this letter is from Ted. Dear Eva, you are hideous beyond all… blah blah blah," Izzy said, crumpling the letter up and setting it on fire with a lighter before tossing it behind her chair. Eva looked sad. Izzy took out another letter. "From Stephanie. Dear Eva, you are hideous beyond… grrr!" Izzy took out a stick of dynamite, lit the fuse, stuck it to the letter, and tossed them behind her chair. "Eva, you aren't ugly, I hope you know that."

"Look at me, then look at you and Heather," Eva said, sad. "If you showed a random guy who knew nothing about us pictures of me, you, and Heather, and they could go out with two of us, who do you think would get left out?"

Heather and Izzy looked at each other nervously. Izzy then turned back to Eva. "We're supermodels! A little on the short side, but still, supermodels! You're pretty, Eva! Just not a supermodel. But not only do you have insane muscles, but you still have really big boobs!"

Eva blushed. "I'd actually rather not have those. They get in the way."

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Point is, all guys love big boobs. I do too. They're fun to play with. Wish I had more to--"

"TMI! TMI! TMI!" Nicole shouted, nervous.

Izzy sighed. "Point is, you're a rare breed. Big muscle-bound woman who has a huge rack. The guys who are into the muscley girls are gonna' love it!"

Eva just sat there, blushing and smiling. "Thank you, I guess."

Izzy took out another letter. "This one's from Michael. Dear Eva, you're the hottest babe on the show! I love to think about all the things you could do to me, oh baby, all the things…" Izzy's voice trailed off, and she was looking a bit disturbed, before dropping it, then smashing it with a mallet from behind her chair.

"Again, TMI," Nicole said, nervous.

"How much stuff do you have back there, anyway?" Eva asked, trying to look behind Izzy's chair.

"Not important," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively, then took out another letter. "This one's from Elliot. Dear Eva, why do you hate Bridgette so much? Courtney was actually the one who said you needed anger management. Bridgette was just always nice to everyone. Still, I didn't understand why Leshawna won invincibility in that episode, anyway: why didn't you get a turn? That didn't seem fair to me. Maybe you and Bridgette could've made up if you could've lasted longer."

Eva looked confused. "Some of these letters are pretty old, let me tell you," Izzy said.

"OK," Eva said. "Pretty much, it was a stupid mistake on my part to take it out on Bridgette, and that challenge wasn't fair because Chris is a huge jerk."

"She probably meant well," Izzy said, smiling.

"She?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow. "That was probably a dude."

"Doubt it," Izzy said. "Anyway, thank you for being here with us today, Eva."

"You didn't really give me a choice," Eva said, irritated.

"Oh, knock that off!" Izzy exclaimed. "If you really didn't want to be here, you'd have just punch my lights out, or something."

"I kind of doubt I could've hit you," Eva said. "You're pretty fast."

"Oh, I know," Izzy said, smiling. "But you could have broken my favorite lamp. He's pretty slow, at least when people are around. He probably talks to the radio and toaster when no one's watching, though, I'm sure of it!"

"I'm not sure I want to know where you come up with this stuff," Nicole said, shrugging.

"Anyway, could you mush over, Eva?" Izzy asked. "Our next guest is basically Eva's opposite. She's got a lot of muscles, he's got a lot of puny. She's got a lot of muscles, he's got a lot of nerve."

"Nerve?" Eva asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You know, brains," Izzy said. "Isn't the brain just a big ol' bundle of nerves?"

Nicole spoke up. "Our next guest has refused to play dodge ball, joked about Lita's talent, and made out with Katie in the confessional outhouse, please welcome Noah!"

Noah walked out onto the stage, and was welcomed to roaring applause.

"We love you Noah!" an audience member shouted.

"Swoon!" another audience member shouted.

"Nody forever!" a third shouted. Noah himself looked a bit put off by that one, though took a seat to the left of Eva, anyway.

"Um, did one of those girls actually say 'swoon'?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," Izzy said. "Anyway, welcome to _Total Drama Izzy, _everyone's favorite after show that's named after the show's most popular psycho hose beast, me!"

"Thrilled," Noah flatly stated.

"Well isn't he cheery," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

"He's always like this," Izzy said. "Except, well, ya' know."

"Of course," Nicole said, giving a knowing smile.

"Except what?" Noah asked, irritated.

"You and Katie," Eva said. "Everyone knows it."

"I am exactly the same around Katie as I am with the rest of you idiots," Noah said.

"Watch it," Eva said, irritated, raising a fist.

"The point is, I act no differently around Katie than anyone else. I insult her just like I insult everyone else."

"No differently, huh?" Izzy said, not believing it. "You know those confessionals with Katie, where she turned the camera off?"

"We started hurling insults at each other, and felt it would be inappropriate for television audiences," Noah stated.

"Did you know there's a second camera in the outhouse?" Izzy asked, beaming. Noah's eyes grew wide. "We have a clip, if you'd like to see it."

"OK, OK, fine!" Noah shouted. "I like Katie. A lot. It's only second base on those tapes, anyway. Not exactly porn. Still rather that stuff not get out, though."

"It's OK," Izzy said. "C is for confessing; that's good enough for me. I wouldn't want to embarrass you on international TV, after all."

"How kind of you," Noah stated.

"Oh, and by the way, have you read _Bookworm and Sweetie Pie? _It's a beautiful story, really."

Noah's eyes grew wide again. "Chris said we weren't allowed to ever bring that up!"

"On his show," Izzy said, grinning. "This ain't his show, hon!"

"I would really rather you didn't," Noah said, nervous.

"Come on, Noah, just a little bit?" Izzy asked sweetly. "Believe me, we've got a lot of letters about that. 'Why didn't we get to see Katie's story? You forgot to show us Katie's story! You guys suck, we didn't see Katie's story!'"

"You got letters about that incident that fast?" Noah asked, confused.

"Well, e-mails," Izzy said, shrugging. "My people put them in envelopes. Makes for better TV. I'd really like to read a little snippet from that story, though."

Noah sighed. "I just know I'm going to regret this."

"It's sweet!" Izzy exclaimed, then pulled out a small stack of papers and started reading.

* * *

"_Way to ruin it for the team," Eva said, smirking. "Though those backstabbers deserve it."_

"_It was just an accident," Katie said, innocent. "We got a little lost."_

"_I think it was sabotage," Justin said, narrowing his eyes. "You wanted to get rid of Courtney, didn't you? Plan could've worked, too."_

"_Why would they have gotten rid of their smartest team member?" Noah asked, looking up from his calculus book. "Since you've done so yourself, Justin, I would assume you have the answer, of course."_

_Katie smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Noah." Noah just shrugged._

* * *

"OK, that part isn't too bad," Noah said, smiling a bit. "It's more the stuff that happens later in the story that I'd rather be kept under wraps."

"You mean like this part?" Izzy asked, beaming.

* * *

_Noah arms were tied to Katie's bedposts, while Katie, wearing--_

* * *

"**Yes!**" Noah screamed. "Seriously, we're seventeen! Too young to have stories written about us like that! Really should wait until we're about seventy, at least."

Izzy shook her head. "No one would want to read about seventy year olds getting it on."

"Exactly," Noah stated, irritated.

"It was a sweet story, though," Izzy said. "Katie was friendless at the Playa' des Losers, you were nice to her, and wound up becoming close and having sex. It was sweet!"

Noah turned bright red. "And pornographic. Not exactly a story I want out there for the whole world to see."

Izzy shrugged. "Turned Paris Hilton into a household name."

"I'd really rather not be the next Paris Hilton, thank you very much," Noah said, irritated. "Lindsay might fit that role, on the other hand."

"Lindsay's nicer, though," Heather said, smiling. "Lindsay's worried about everyone else's problems, and Paris doesn't even seem worried about her own problems, much less anyone else's."

"Close enough," Noah said. Heather looked irritated.

"What's everyone's problem with Lindsay, seriously?!" Heather shouted, angry.

"She's an idiot who gets by on life with her looks," Noah stated. "Life may not be fair, but it doesn't mean I have to bow down to her just because everyone else is."

"I didn't exactly bow down to her last year," Heather said, with a bit of venom.

"But this year, you've been trying to suck up to everyone."

"Lindsay is a sweet, caring person who wants everyone to be happy, has been taking care of Courtney, and is smarter than almost everyone gives the poor girl credit for!"

Noah started to laugh. "Poor girl. That's rich."

"That's not what I meant!" Heather shouted.

"Maybe we should change the topic," Izzy said, worried.

"Lindsay gets a free pass because she's pretty and shoves her breasts in everyone's faces! That's fair!" Noah shouted.

"Not her fault," Heather said back, with a frightening tone to her voice, staring death straight into Noah's eyes. "She may have had everything handed to her in life, but despite that, she's **still **trying her damnedest to help everyone else and make it out in the real world! Which is nothing like that bumbling hotel heiress!" Noah looked frightened.

"I have to give you points for that," Eva said, smirking.

"Thank you," Heather said, smiling and back to her sweet self.

Noah just stared for a few moments. "I'm willing to drop the subject now."

"That was rather scary for a supposedly changed girl," Nicole said, looking to Heather.

"Hey, I didn't forget how to get down and dirty, now," Heather said. "I'd just rather not do it."

"Noah's harmless," Izzy said in a cutesy voice, pinching Noah's cheek. Eva giggled a bit, though Noah soon slapped her hand away. "Anyway, why were you so mean to Bridgette?"

Noah sighed. "Look, it was nothing personal against the girl. It was just, given the options, she was the most logical choice to vote off."

"But she helped you and Katie get together," Izzy said, smiling brightly. "Shouldn't that count for a lot?"

"I appreciate that she helped me there. It's just, well, I didn't want to be voted off, I certainly didn't want Katie to be voted off, and I knew Cody would rather see Eva stay, so I had little choice in the matter."

"Katie liked Bridgette more than Eva, though," Izzy said, then looked to Eva. "Not meaning that as an insult to you."

"I already knew that, anyway," Eva stated.

"I guess that was a little bit selfish on my part," Noah stated. "Like the rest of you guys can claim to be perfect."

"Oh, but Izzy is perfect!" Izzy exclaimed, bouncing in front of Noah. "Izzy has no faults!"

"You can be irritating sometimes," Noah said, smirking.

Izzy waved her hand dismissively to Noah. "Nah, that's just Izzy's way of spreading joy throughout the world!" Izzy took out a large bag filled with letters from behind her seat. "Another way is reading your fan mail, and believe you me, you have a lot of it!"

"The audience at home has good taste," Noah stated, smirking.

Izzy opened a letter after pulling it out from the bag. "Here's a letter from Rachel. Dear Noah, it was so cute when you and Cody kissed. I know you were embarrassed, but I think you two would make a really, really cute couple! Have you ever considered taking that relationship further? Your friend, Brooke."

"You are no friend of mine," Noah stated, irritated. "I am not gay. I am into girls, like Katie, in case you couldn't tell. Cody is also into girls." Noah looked to Eva. "Or at least whatever Eva is."

"Watch it," Eva said, raising her fist again.

"Do you really have to egg everyone on?" DJ asked.

"Yes," Noah stated. "That's what I do. That's what I know how to do."

"Coping mechanism," Izzy said. "Big family, runt of the family, he's learned to deal with it in his own way."

Noah glared at Izzy. "And I don't suppose we could say the same for your insanity."

"Next question!" Izzy exclaimed, a bit nervous, as she pulled out another letter. "From Sue. Dear Noah, you and Cody are so shmexy together! I sooo want to see you to make out!"

"Shmexy?" Noah asked, irritated. "That's not even a real word!"

"I didn't write it," Izzy said, then crumpled the letter up and burned it. "Here's one from Sylvester. Didn't know cats could write."

"It's an actual name," Nicole said, then put her finger to her forehead. "At least, I'm pretty sure."

"Whatever," Izzy said, then continued reading. "Dear Noah, where's your ark?" Izzy scratched her head. "I don't get it."

"Noah's ark?" Nicole mentioned. "You know, God flooded the earth, two of every animal, a really big boat?"

"Oh yah, that," Izzy said, shrugging. "Next question, from Quinn. Dear Noah, I think you'd be great with Katie, or maybe Eva. I think you should give them more of a chance. Still, you're really smart, and really funny, and I wish you would have had another chance on the show. It might have helped if you played in at least one round of dodge ball, though. I know, you don't do sports, but your teammates might have liked the effort, at least. I don't know… stay cool, though! Sincerely, Quinn."

"Katie," Noah said. "Definitely Katie. Eva's taken, and she's nice enough, mind you, at least once you get past that tough exterior--very tough exterior--but then, Katie also has that shallow exterior, but she's a pretty nice, intelligent girl deep down."

"Aww," Beth went, smiling. "Always seemed like you and Katie had a thing for each other back at the Playa 'des Losers last year." Beth thought for a moment longer. "Or maybe it was you and Sadie. I sometimes get Katie and Sadie mixed up."

"Katie's the prettier one," Heather stated, then realized what she said and slapped her face in disgust. "I'm sorry about that. I wasn't thinking, and that kind of slipped out. I'm still not perfect with this whole 'nice person' thing."

"Maybe you were never really trying," Noah said, narrowing his eyes toward Heather.

Heather sighed. "Look, I'm trying to better myself, but deep down, I'm still Heather, and I still notice stupid physical appearances. I know they're not important."

"Well, we can always ask our next guest how she feels about it," Izzy said. "Eva and Noah, could you two move over, please? Our next guest knocked out her best friend in a pillow fight, broke off part of the Dock of Shame in a crying fit, and refused to acknowledge the shift key on the keyboard, let's welcome Sadie!"

Sadie came rushing out and glomped Heather, knocking her down on the long seat. "I forgive you, Heather! You've been so nice, and no one can expect you to be perfect."

"Thank you," Heather said, crying, hugging back. "I'm really sorry I let that comment slip."

"It's OK," Sadie said, looking down, headed back over to her seat. "I know Katie's prettier than me. And smarter than me. I'm just the best friend. It's OK."

"You're also the slightly less annoying one," Eva said.

"I am?" Sadie asked, confused. "I don't get it. Katie's all logical-ish and pretty much the leader. I'm just the follower."

"Exactly," Eva said. "And you tend to be nicer than Katie, who's a bit more abrasive."

"Just like you!" Sadie exclaimed, and glomped Eva. "Eeeiii!"

Eva looked disgusted. "Never do that again."

"Oh, yeah," Sadie said, chuckling nervously. "Sorry. It's just that you're kinda' abrasive, too!"

"Uh, thanks," Eva said, confused.

"If she's comparing you to Katie, it's a compliment," Noah said, smirking.

"Of course!" Sadie exclaimed, beaming. "Katie's like so perfect, and all! I wish I could be smarter and prettier and boyfriendier and perfecter like Katie!"

"Those aren't all words," Noah stated.

Sadie giggled. "I know boyfriendier isn't a real word. Still felt right to say it, since she has more boyfriends than I do."

"Sadie," Izzy said, smiling, "last year, Katie was kicked off the island before you. This season, you were kicked off before Katie. Do you wish you could've outlasted Katie again, or are you glad she got to stay longer than you this year?"

"Oh, I'm definitely happy that Katie got to stay longer than me," Sadie said, smiling brightly. "Last year, I was like so miserable without Katie. I didn't even do very much. I was just depressed and hardly interacted with anyone after Katie left. Katie's stronger than me, though. Well, actually, I have more muscles, but Katie's more stronger emotionally! And even though Bridgette was really, really mean to us, I know that Katie's graciously forgiven Bridgette, and that they're close, so Katie'll do great! At least as long as Bridgette stays. Katie needs her right now."

"You don't sound so stupid to me," Nicole said, smiling.

"Oh, I kinda' am," Sadie said, looking down. "I just really know Katie."

"That's pretty sweet, really," Izzy said. "Now, you and DJ have been hanging out some lately. Anything we should know about there?"

"Not really," Sadie said, still smiling brightly. "He's been really nice, though. Maybe he just feels guilty about being mean to Katie the day he was voted off."

"He should feel guilty," Izzy said. "Or it might just be that he's trying to behave for this girl who likes him named Clarissa. Care to explain it all, DJ?"

DJ gulped. "Well, yeah. It turned out I had a sweet fan named Clarissa, who, from what I've heard, is kinda' like you and Katie. Only Izzy wouldn't let me contact her if I didn't try to tolerate you two more. But really, you're not so bad. A little irritating sometimes, but you've mostly been a sweet person to hang with."

"Aww," Sadie went. "Thanks, DJ! That's like so sweet!" DJ smiled.

"How do you feel about Noah?" Izzy asked.

Sadie glomped Noah, taking him by surprise. "Noah's like one of the sweetest guys I know! I mean, except when he was mean to Katie. That was mean, but then they made up, and he's like sooo nice again! Eeeiii!"

"Please don't do that," Noah said, irritated.

"Ooh, sorry," Sadie said shyly, letting go. "You and Eva like share a brain tonight." Eva and Noah looked to each other, confused. "You know, both telling me not to do that?"

"I'm pretty sure everyone who isn't Katie would have that same reaction," Noah stated.

"That's so sad," Sadie said, looking down. "It's really great to have people you can be so happy and joyous around!"

"Most of us don't really mind," Noah stated.

"How about some happy, joyous letters?" Izzy asked, bouncing in her chair, as she pulled out a bag of letters. "Here's one from Sean. Dear Sadie, you are so awesome!"

"Thank you, Sean!" Sadie exclaimed, blushing.

"You are really sweet and funny, but I don't like your fat friend." Izzy scratched her head in confusion.

"Wait," Sadie said, confused. "I don't have a fat friend. I mean, Owen's OK, but we haven't really talked that much."

"I think Sean mixed you and Katie up," Izzy said, angry. Izzy crumpled the letter and set it ablaze, throwing it behind her seat. "Let's hope for a nicer one. Here's a letter from Liz: dear Sadie, you're a beautiful girl, but you really should wear an outfit that flatters your figure more, like Leshawna does. That outfit you wear all the time does nothing to flatter your wonderful figure."

"But Katie made it for me!" Sadie shouted, upset, tugging on her shirt. "I couldn't just not wear it… Katie would be mad at me if I didn't wear this!"

"Plus, that whole 'being more like Leshawna' thing," Izzy said, disgusted. "I'm not too keen on anything Leshawna-related."

"You could say that again," Heather said, rolling her eyes. "Still, I could help you pick out a really nice outfit if you'd like."

"No thank you," Sadie said, smiling. "I trust Katie for all my fashion needs!"

Izzy shook her head, then took out and opened another letter. "Here's one from Christian: dear Sadie, why are you and Katie such idiots? I mean, you guys make Lindsay look smart in comparison! Lindsay! Since you're supposedly the smarter one of you two, could you maybe explain why you're such ignoramuses?" Izzy looked disgusted, then ate the letter.

"I'm not the smarter one!" Sadie shouted, then backed down. "And we're not that stupid, are we?"

Everyone else looked around, uneasy, until Noah finally spoke up. "Well, you do keep telling everyone how Bridgette is your mortal enemy, and Katie had to keep reminding you that she isn't."

"For some reason, I thought she was," Sadie said, confused.

"She's not," Eva said. "She's the sweetest person here. Well, not here, but the nicest contestant this season. And last season."

"I think Lindsay could give her some serious competition there," Heather said. "I mean, Bridgette's really nice too, don't get me wrong, but Lindsay's just been so wonderfully selfless."

"You're kidding," Noah said, with a contorted look on his face. "The girl who felt she deserved a cabin by the something or other because she was the prettiest. **That's **who you're calling selfless."

"She has it, so she flaunts it," Heather shot back. "So she has outer beauty as well as inner beauty. Nothing wrong with that, and there's nothing wrong with her being proud of her outer beauty!"

"Some of us aren't crazy about it, still," Eva said, irritated.

"Some of us need to stop being jealous of Lindsay," Heather said, irritated. "She's beautiful, incredibly nice--"

"Stupid," Noah flatly stated. "I don't think most of us are jealous."

"How about we just agree that all blondes are really nice," Nicole said, irritated. "Can we settle for that?"

"Yeah!" Geoff exclaimed, waving his hat around. "We rule!"

"Not quite what I meant," Nicole said, raising a finger, but deciding ultimately to back down.

"Besides, one particular blond kinda' sucks," Izzy said. "Our next guest won the first season of _Total Drama Island, _threw me to a psycho serial killer, and sold me out for admittedly delicious cake, it's Owen!"

Owen walked out on stage to a mixed audience reaction: a lot of the older audience members were booing, but the younger ones were cheering him out loudly. Owen noticed that there was no room for him on the lower seats. "Guys, I can't really climb to the top row, so could you all maybe sit up there so I could sit down, please?"

"No," Eva said, irritated.

"You'd break the seat," Noah stated.

"Come on, guys!" Owen said. "I can't just stand… I have weak legs! They could give at any moment!"

"That would be a tough break," Noah stated.

"You don't really deserve a seat anyway," Izzy said, angry. "Not after what you did."

"But you don't understand!" Owen shouted. "The cake was delicious!"

"The cake was a lie!" Izzy shouted, walking up to Owen's face. "You voted me off for a damn cake!"

"If you had this cake, you would understand," Owen said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I did have the cake," Izzy said. "Leshawna was trying to suck up to a lot of people, me included. And while I'm still mad at Leshawna, and the cake was really delicious I have to admit, it was still just cake! You voted me off for cake!" Izzy knocked Owen down, hopping on him, angry. "You voted me off for cake!"

"Should someone get Izzy off of Owen?" Noah asked.

"I don't think even I could," Eva said, looking a bit worried.

"Look, I'm sorry, geez!" Owen said. Izzy got off of him, though Owen continued lying on the floor. "But really, how could I choose a girl over food? That'd be like crazy!"

"A guy who really wants to keep a girl chooses her over food," Izzy said, with a bit of venom in her voice.

"Even delicious food?" Owen asked, nervous, as he was picking himself off the floor.

Izzy sighed. "Yes. Even delicious food."

"I'm sorry I voted you off for cake," Owen said, then started twiddling his fingers. "So can me make out now?"

"No," Izzy stated. "I've already found someone else."

"What, Ezekiel?" Owen asked, upset. "But he hates women! Don't you remember?"

"He made a mistake," Izzy said, in a more serious tone than usual. "Eva made a mistake, Heather made a mistake--well, a lot of mistakes, really--but we've forgiven them. Ezekiel made a mistake too, and he feels bad about it. It was time someone forgave him, too. He's really a sweet guy, and he's even a little worried about me." Izzy went back to her usual manic voice. "And he wouldn't vote me off for **cake!**"

"Then shouldn't you forgive me for voting you off for cake?" Owen asked.

"Would you stop defending yourself and admit that it was wrong to vote me off for cake?" Izzy asked, angry.

"But it was the most delicious cake ever!"

"That's the difference!" Izzy shouted. "Maybe I can forgive you once you realize what you did!"

"Don't nice people forgive no matter what?" Owen asked, nervous.

"I make no claims to be a nice people!" Izzy shouted, angry, then pulled another bag from behind her chair. "Let's see what stupid fan letters you have. Here's one from Chuckie: deer own," Izzy scratched her head. "I guess he means Owen. U r awsum! I luv it wen u fort--fort? I guess he means fart. Anyway, let me continue… ah. Forting is so funny, so I luv it wen u fort! Sinsiny, chuckie." Izzy was doing a gagging motion with her hand. "Of course. One of the youngin's. For some reason, you seem to have a lot of really really young fans, and hardly any older ones."

"I could take a good guess why," Nicole said, smirking.

"What can I say?" Owen asked, smiling. "I'm like a kid at heart."

"And in brain," Heather said, circling her finger around her forehead. "Seriously, **why **do people think Lindsay is the least intelligent contestant, again?"

"Someone's in a snarky mood today," Nicole said, smirking.

"Can't really argue with her, though," Izzy said. "Wouldn't mind some Heather-brand revenge on this lug."

"Are they even supposed to talk," Owen said, slightly annoyed. "I mean, aren't they just supposed to be, like, commentators? Shouldn't those guys over on those seats be silent, or something?"

"Um, they're commentators," Izzy said, irritated. "Yes, they're supposed to commentate. It'd be pretty lame to have them up on stage just to have them sit there like idiots." Beth and Heather giggled.

"Well, OK, but I still think your show would work better if those four were completely silent," Owen said.

"It's my world, my way, thank you very much, Owen. Probably Katie's world, too. I bet you two could build a lot of wicked dungeons together, though."

"Huh?" Owen asked, confused. "What?"

"You went over his head there, Elise," Noah said, smirking.

Izzy sighed. "Should've expected such a response from Owen. Anyway, here's a letter from Tommy: dear Owen, my Daddy is helping me rite this letter for you, becuz your the bestest person on _Total Drama Iland. _I'm really glad you won, and I love it when you fart, because it's so funny!"

"Geez, don't my fans like me for anything else?" Owen asked, confused. "What about my great personality?"

"Nope," Izzy said. "Most of your fans like that you fart a lot. And most of them seem to be around six years old."

"Aww, man," Owen said, looking down.

"Well, you brought it upon yourself," Izzy said, looking disapproving. "It's juvenile humor. Izzy, on the other hand, tries to make her comedy appeal to all ages, so she becomes beloved by all! Sure, Izzy's humor may be shallow, but at least she has a bigger bag of tricks than fart jokes!"

"But I can't help it!" Owen exclaimed. "Everyone farts! It's a natural process!"

"Civilized people wait to fart in the bathroom!" Izzy shouted.

"Oh, like you've never had an accident," Owen said.

"So you just happen to do it on accident?" Izzy asked, skeptical.

"Well… but it's funny!" Owen exclaimed. Izzy just shook her head.

"Are we ready for our next guest?" Nicole asked, concerned.

"I'm not looking forward to it, but yes," Izzy said, sitting back in her chair, with her hand over her head, shaking her head. "Eva and Noah, could you two move to the top row? And Sadie, could you push over a bit?"

"So you're making room so I can sit down?" Owen asked, hopeful.

"Uh, no," Izzy said, irritated. "We're making room for our next guest, and besides, you'd break the seat." Owen looked down.

Nicole started speaking, sounding angry. "Our next guest made last year's Heather look good by comparison, this year's Leshawna look good by comparison, and Jewel… well, maybe not that demon, but he's still too close for comfort, here's Justin!"

Justin walked out onto the stage, with green hair, to be met by rotten vegetables, surprising him, as he hurried to his seat, trying to shield himself from the onslaught. "Hi Justin, welcome to the show, so glad you could be here," Izzy said, sounding like she wanted to kill herself.

"I don't understand the booing. I mean, I'm hot! I'm a male model."

"You're the ugliest guy I know!" Beth shouted, angry.

"Look, someone messed with my shampoo, OK?" Justin said, annoyed. "It's not my fault my hair is green.""Sorry," Heather said innocently, cutely waving. "I accidentally added food coloring to your shampoo. I hope that's not a problem." Heather cutely posed with her pinky to her mouth.

"What's your problem?!" Justin shouted. "What did I even do to you?! If anything, you owe me an apology for getting me kicked off for no reason last year!"

"I can't believe I felt bad about that," Heather said. "I mean, I didn't feel bad when I did it, but then, in the past year, I came to regret most of what I did… but then I realized you were a major ass, and I decided you deserved that! So no! I'm not sorry I did that to you!"

"Don't tell me you're sticking up for that pig now," Justin said, angry.

"Beth is a wonderful person!" Heather shouted. "Don't think I won't take you on," Heather said, standing erect.

"Heather, I'd rather you not resort to violence," Izzy said, looking disapprovingly at Heather, who backed down.

"Thank you," Justin said, irritated.

"Because Eva's so much better at giving poundings!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming, then pointed to Justin. "Feel free, Eva!"

Eva started cracking her knuckles. "With pleasure."

"But that's not fair!" Justin shouted. "Don't I get a chance to defend myself?"

Izzy sighed. "Hold that thought, Eva. Fair is fair, after all." Izzy then grinned deviously. "We're going to play a little game I call truth or hammer." Izzy picked up the hammer next to her chair. "If you don't tell me the truth, I bash you with the hammer." Justin's eyes grew wide. "First question, are you sorry that you were so cruel to Beth?"

"That little demon?" Justin asked, angry. "Of course not!" Beth looked like she was about to bawl her eyes out: Heather hugged her from the side, patting her arm on the opposite side.

"OK, I guess that was truth," Izzy said, disappointed. "Next question, are you sorry that you tried to frame Eva for attempting to murder Courtney?"

"Yes," Justin spat. Izzy smacked his foot with her hammer, and Justin started yelping in pain, hopping on his good foot. "What was that for?!"

"You lied, liar."

"No I didn't!" Justin yelled. "I'm sorry I tried to frame her, but didn't succeed! How the heck is that a lie?!"

"Oh," Izzy said, looking guilty. "Well, there's one final question: what did you think of me when we started dating?"

"We never dated!" Justin screamed. Izzy then struck his knee with her hammer, causing him to fall down in pain.

"Tsk, tsk," Izzy went. "My, what poor reflexes you have."

"So, are you done with him?" Eva asked, cracking her knuckles once more.

Izzy yawned. "Sure. Go ahead. Feel free to have your way with him." Eva looked a bit disgusted. "OK, poor choice of wording on my part. Just rough him up a little. Or knowing you, a lot."

"It'll be my pleasure," Eva said, smirking, as she grabbed Justin by the collar and started dragging him off-stage.

"I guess we're not going to get to his fan letters," Nicole said, looking a bit nervous as she was watching the Eva-on-Justin action happening off-stage.

"It was all hate mail, anyway," Izzy said, shrugging. "We still have one final guest, though!" Heather started smiling brightly.

Nicole started speaking. "Our final guest tonight had her deepest secrets revealed by Heather, had her deepest secrets revealed by Leshawna, and had a pretty lame fight with Bridgette."

"Everybody give it up for Gwen!" Izzy exclaimed, as the crowd went wild as Gwen entered the stage, smiling shyly, and took a seat next to Sadie. "It's great to have you here, Gwen!"

"I'd rather still be in the game, though," Gwen said. "Kind of rather Leshawna took my place here."

"Everyone knows about that now," Izzy said. "Heather was innocent, and Leshawna spread your diary around for everyone in the world to see."

"Stupidest reason ever, too," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, why did it matter if Heather was going to hurt me if Leshawna was going to do it, anyway?"

"I take it you're still mad at Leshawna," Izzy said.

"Um, yeah," Gwen said, irritated. "Seriously, she ruined my life! I really did not need the world thinking that I'm some sort of whore."

"I know the feeling," Heather said, looking down. "I went through that too."

"What a surprise," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

Heather sighed. "I just thought you might want to know that you're not alone there."

Gwen smiled. "OK, that was a little mean, but after everything you did last year, I deserve at least that little bit of payback, don't I?" Gwen asked playfully.

"I suppose you do," Heather said, smiling back.

"What's your opinion on Heather, anyway?" Izzy asked, smiling.

"I really don't know," Gwen said, looking down, with her hands holding up her face. "She was so cruel last year, but this year, she hasn't done anything, and she's even gone out of her way to be, well, nice. It's kind of nice, really."

"Gwen, I'm really, truly sorry for all that crap I put you through last year," Heather said, walking over to Gwen, starting to cry. "You didn't deserve any of it. I was upset because you were ugly--and you're really pretty, but I just saw the goth makeup and clothing--but I also hated that independent attitude, that you weren't going to listen to me when I tried to take charge. I can't tell you how much it bugged me, but it did, and I did some really cruel things, like reading from your diary, and showing your underwear to the world, and kissing Trent." Heather started crying profusely, sitting down before Gwen, with her hands holding up her head. "You were innocent, and I just hated you for practically no reason at all. It was just what you stood for, and I hated it. And I've been paying for it since. You have **no idea **of the hell I've been through this past year. I've become my school's literal punching bag, and that's the **best **part of the torture! And my hair never grew back! But you know, everything I've gone through has helped me. I've realized what I used to be like, and how many people I hurt, and you more than almost anyone else, Gwen. Maybe I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I've truly changed this past year, and I wish I could make it up to you somehow."

Gwen looked move, and was crying a little, then went down to Heather and hugged her, and Heather hugged back. "It's time I let it go, too," Gwen said, smiling a bit. "You've been nothing but nice this year, and it's time I let my anger go. Or try to let it go. It might be a little hard."

Heather smiled. "That's fine. I'm still not perfect with the whole being nice thing, either."

Gwen chuckled. "Yeah, I heard the thing about Sadie." Gwen looked down. "I'm sorry I helped Leshawna with that trick after DJ was kicked off."

"And I'm sorry I didn't listen to you when you warned me about the psycho killer," Heather said, laughing, then smirking. "Weird goth girl."

"Baldie." The two girls laughed a bit and hugged again. "I don't suppose you have any ideas for getting back at Leshawna."

"I kind of gave up that business," Heather said. "Unless you wanted to work on some plan together."

"That I would like," Gwen said, smirking.

"Would revenge on Leshawna really make you better than she is?" Beth asked, concerned.

"Yes," Gwen and Heather answered in unison.

"I mean, she kind of deserves it," Gwen said, smirking again.

"I guess," Beth said, unsure.

"I guess I should head back to my seat, let Izzy continue the interview, and all," Heather said, smiling, as the two hugged again before Heather sat back down, and Gwen got back into her seat.

"Told you guys the commentators shouldn't talk," Owen said.

"Don't remember anyone asking for your opinion," Nicole said, irritated.

"But let's think happier thoughts now!" Izzy exclaimed. "What about you and Trent? Do anything exciting yet with him? First base? Second base? Third base? Home run? Grand slam? Slam dunk?"

"No," Gwen said. "Not a whole lot of action. I mean, he's a sweet guy, but I don't really want to ruin things. Especially since, well, I guess everyone knows now," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "Brian is scum, he didn't care that I might have had his baby, and I'm thankful it was a false alarm, but seriously… I can't believe I fell for him. I'd rather Trent not have to worry about that."

"Replace Brian with Bryce and you pretty much have my story," Heather said, looking a bit relieved to be telling Gwen. "Major loser."

"He's going to prison now, anyway," Izzy said. "At least probably." Izzy turned back to Gwen. "So how's about Duncan?"

"Duncan?" Gwen asked, not sounding happy about where the conversation would be going.

"You know, you and Duncan, sittin' in a tree, that sort of thing?" Izzy asked.

"There is no me and Duncan and there never was a me and Duncan. Seriously, we have some things in common, and that's nice, but he likes Courtney, and Courtney really likes him, and I wouldn't hurt Courtney like that. Even if she can get on my nerves sometimes."

"Had to check," Izzy said, beaming. "And the tiff between you and Bridgette?"

"Over," Gwen said, smiling. "That was a while ago. Really, she's just about the nicest person here."

"Told you!" Eva shouted from off stage.

Izzy was smiling and bouncing around a bit before grabbing a huge bag from behind her seat that somehow remained hidden until that moment. "You've got a whole mess of fans, Gwen! More than anyone else has, except for Duncan and Courtney, but I think a lot of the Courtney ones are hate mail. Don't really know why so many people send her hate mail."

"I could guess," Gwen said. "Still, she doesn't really deserve it, however irritating she may be."

Izzy grabbed an envelope from the bag and opened it up, pulling out the letter inside. "Here's a letter from Sam. Dear Gwen, you're my idol! I really look up to you, and I love your artistic side. You've even convinced me to go goth, since I wanted to be my own person, just like you! Sincerely, Sam."

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "You've got to be kidding me."

Izzy shook her head. "Nope. It's legit."

Gwen sighed. "Look, Sam, being your own person means not doing things just because someone else is doing it. Like Izzy: she's cool, and you don't see her trying to turn goth."

Izzy nodded. "But if I did, my new name would become Nebula."

"That sounds like a yummy dessert," Owen said, rubbing his belly.

"O… K…" Izzy said, cautious, as she pulled another letter from the bag. "Here's one from Brooke: dear Gwen, I'm the most popular girl in my school."

"Joy," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "Can't wait to hear where this one's going."

"May I continue?" Izzy asked, a bit irritated. "Thank you. I'm the most popular girl in my school. However, this weird goth girl has set out to make my life hell, and I really don't know what I've done to this girl! I tried reaching out and being nice, but every time it's bit me in the butt, like when she saw me buying a pregnancy test, she went and told my parents! My parents! How could she do this to me?! You seem like a really nice goth girl, so I was hoping you could help me out. Love, Brooke."

"I've been here," Gwen said, sighing. "You actually sound like a pretty nice girl, Brooke. Unless you're lying, or you're just not as pure a victim as you're portraying yourself."

"Lindsay," Heather said. "Lindsay is proof enough that such a person can exist."

"Good point," Gwen said. "I really don't know this girl's problem. Not all Goths are alike. A lot of us can be the friendliest people you can meet. I'll admit that I'm not one of them, but others, who are even less like me, can be downright mean. I'm sorry I can't help you, Brooke."

"Sounds like a nice girl," Heather said, smiling.

"Maybe, maybe not," Izzy said. "Here's a letter from Harrison: dear Gwen, you are hot! Like the hottest girl on the show! Really, the hair, the makeup, the corset top--girls like Lindsay are a dime a dozen, but you're really something special!"

"There's nothing wrong with Lindsay," Gwen said, irritated. "Can't you compliment one girl without insulting another? And it was a little… well, uncomfortable, too."

"Maybe one more?" Izzy asked, pulling out another letter. "From Lily: dear Gwen, you and Duncan are completely alike, and you two belong together! Trent's boring, and Courtney's evil, so you and Duncan should hook up and make cute little goth and punk babies, and it would be so cute!"

"Uh, no," Gwen said. "Trent isn't boring, and Courtney's a really nice person. Irritating, but nice. Really, there's a huge difference between 'irritating' and 'evil.'"

"Evil would have been like me," Heather said, nervous. "Like last year."

"Exactly," Gwen said, smirking.

"And now, Gwen, we wanted to share some of your fan fiction, if you don't mind," Izzy said, smiling brightly. "I thought it was awesome!"

"Go right ahead," Gwen said, blushing a bit. "I'm proud of it."

* * *

_"What have I done?" Trent cried out, releasing his hand from the wooden stake that pierced Gwen's heart. "I… I killed her!"_

_Courtney stepped up and put her hand on Trent's shoulder. "You had to do it. She was a threat to everyone, she'd already killed dozens, and… seriously, a vampire and human relationship just wouldn't work out." Trent cried into Courtney's chest, with her comforting Trent._

* * *

"Shmexy," Noah said, smirking.

"That wasn't really intended for that scene," Gwen said. "Wouldn't have minded some more actiony scenes to be read."

"I know, but that's about all the time we have today," Izzy said, looking down, but then shot right back up. "Except we do have a little bit more time!"

"Hey," a voice called from behind Gwen.

"You still need a cooler name, Gwen" another voice called. Gwen looked behind her and saw a guy with spiky black hair and a black shirt, and a girl with a black dress and very little pink hair.

"Reaper! Marilyn!" Gwen exclaimed, as she went over to hug her friends, but quickly let go. "I'm sorry about that. I was just happy to see you two. It's been forever."

"Nah, it's fine," Reaper said, then smirked. "Might make Trent jealous though."

"You're bad," Gwen said, smirking.

"You know it," Marilyn said.

"Guys, these are two of my best friends from back home, Reaper and Marilyn!" Gwen exclaimed, then tried to tone it down. "I mean, whatever."

"You really don't need to tone it down," Reaper said. "The world already knows you're bubbly."

"That the girl who's been giving you trouble?" Marilyn asked, cracking her knuckles after pointing over to Heather, who looked nervous.

"We're cool now," Gwen said. "She's actually been pretty nice this year."

"Well, if she gives you trouble, just let us know," Marilyn said.

"Isn't that what sent Pixie Corpse to juvie?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, but she deserved it," Reaper said, crossing his arms across his chest.

Heather nervously approached Gwen with her friends. "Hi, I'm Heather." The other two stared at Heather, confused.

"You two can say hi back anytime," Gwen scolded.

"Fine. I'm Reaper."

"Marilyn."

"They're not used to people talking to them," Gwen said, laughing a bit. "They're a bit more 'extreme goth' than I am. They're really nice people, though. You'd really get along great with Pixie Corpse, though."

Heather gulped. "The one who's in juvie for beating someone up, was it?"

"She deserved it," Gwen said. "Wish you two could've met. I mean, at least this year. Wouldn't have got along well last year."

"I'll have to trust you on that one," Heather said, smiling. "Any friend of Gwen's is a friend of mine."

"Don't count on that," Gwen said. "I mean, I can't speak for them, but you might want to just settle for friendly acquaintances." Heather nodded.

"And that's it for another Izzy-tastic episode of _Total Drama Izzy! _Tune in next time, where we'll have four more losers to talk to!"

"Four?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. "Shouldn't that be six?"

"Nope," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Four."

"So there're going to be six contestants left competing?" Noah asked, confused.

"Try eight," Izzy said, grinning ear to ear. "But it's a secret, so pretend you don't know about it."

"But wait," Heather said, trying to figure it out. "If there are ten contestants left on the show, you're doing another one of these when four contestants are voted off, but there are going to be eight contestants left, that means--"

"That Izzy spoiled the surprise," Chris said, from the audience, angry. "Seriously, you weren't supposed to know anything about that!"

"No one believed you anyway," Izzy said nonchalantly. "Never come back ever. Yeah. No one was buying it."

They would've believed it if you didn't blab just now!" Chris shouted.

"Except we never believed it anyway," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "Let me guess: you're bringing back Justin for more drama, and Owen because he's the only one of us you seem to sort off like."

"Nice idea, but no," Chris said. "I'm not deciding this year. I want to bring two of you guys back, but you're going to be competing for that opportunity. And you'll get a chance to get back into the game next time on _Total Drama--"_

Chris was kicked down by Izzy, who'd rushed over to knock him down before he could finish. "Still my show here! Don't want to hear that stupid name mentioned as long as I'm in charge."

"How about _Total Drama Gwen?" _Nicole asked. "Feels appropriate for today."

"I like it," Izzy said, smiling. "Find out next time on _Total Drama Gwen!"_


	27. Day 13, Part 1: Brat Race

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 27: Day 13: Part 1: Brat Race**

Chris was sitting in the yellow armchair in the middle of the _Total Drama Izzy _set, holding a pipe in his right hand. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _Bridgette proved herself to be the stupidest contestant in _Total Drama _history by burning down her own cabin!" Chris shook his head. "Man, I tell you, even Lindsay wouldn't be that stupid! Burn all her makeup and stuff, and being the most superficial person on the planet, well, she certainly wouldn't do that. But Bridgette did, so she, Katie, and Eva lost all of their stuff, and Bridgette was semi-nude for a while. Would've made for awesome TV, but Courtney lent her one of her shirt and vest combo thingies, so I wound up reluctantly getting more clothes for Bridgette and Katie, since I didn't really have anything to gain by having Bridgette and Courtney look like twins."

"Pretty sure people could still tell them apart," Izzy said, popping out from behind a green armchair, to Chris' right. "Different hair, different skin tone, different bust sizes," Izzy said, holding up her chest.

"The little kids who love the show won't care about that until they're older, and they'd just get confused between the two if they're wearing the same shirt," Chris said, irritated. "Though the kids would be happier if they'd pass gas more often. It's good for ratings. Seriously, I'd just let Owen and Justin back on if I could, but the producers wanted a different way to stretch out the season."

"Gwen knows you so well," Izzy said, glaring at the host.

Chris grumbled, then put back on a smile for the camera. "Anyway, the two teams had to figure out who killed me. Courtney solved--"

"Lindsay solved," Izzy said, irritated. "Get that right."

"No," Chris said. "Courtney solved it."

"I can prove Lindsay solved it," Izzy said, sing-songy. "We can watch it on the monitor right now."

Chris continued grumbling again. "Courtney, Lindsay, doesn't matter, as regardless, the Screaming Pansies won yet another challenge. The Killer Chrises had lost yet another challenge, and for reasons I neither understand nor like, Eva voted for herself, making her the twelfth person to leave the island." Chris put his face in the palm of his hand, shaking his head. "Three to nine in challenges… how can one team suck so much, anyway?"

"Some gaffe on your end," Izzy said, smirking. "Not as tight a grip as you thought you had, huh?"

"Shut up!" Chris whined. "Anyway, we're here today at the Playa' des Losers to give two of these losers a chance to get back into the game. But who's going to get back in? The stupid cowboy who sacrificed himself for Bridgette? The big chicken who can't drive a stick shift?"

"You can't either!" Izzy spat.

"How did you know that?!" Chris shouted, irritated.

"Because you just told me," Izzy sang. "Seriously, you just don't seem like the kind of guy who'd know how to use a manual transmission."

Chris grumbled a bit more before continuing. "Maybe it'll be the ugly one. Or the girl who tried to kill Bridgette and Lindsay."

"Heather didn't--" Izzy started, then shook her head. "I don't know why I bother."

"I wish you wouldn't," Chris said, irritated. "Maybe it'll be that goth girl that everyone loves for some reason even though she's mean to everyone."

"She's pretty nice," Izzy said, rubbing her forehead in frustration. "She's just guarded."

"Maybe it'll be that hot guy whose hair Heather ruined… seriously, how is that not evil?"

"Justin so deserved it," Izzy said.

"Yeah," Chris said, notably irritated. "Maybe it'll be that guy everyone loves, Owen."

"Every six year old," Izzy said, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe it'll be the disgusting fat slob, Sadie."

"You're kidding me," Izzy stated flatly, glaring death at Chris. "Owen is the guy everyone loves, but Sadie is the disgusting fat slob?!"

"What?" Chris asked, confused and annoyed. "She is fat!"

Izzy leapt into Chris' lap, angry, and startling him. "And very tidy and clean… seriously, how the hell is she a disgusting slob?! And why did you call Sadie a disgusting slob but not Owen?!"

"Owen's a dude," Chris said, angry. "Sadie's a girl, and that's just disgusting."

"Sadie is not disgusting, and she is not a slob!" Izzy screamed, rattling Chris' body. "Katie's a little messy, but Sadie's like, well, Courtney in that area!"

Chris pushed Izzy off his lap. "There's also the guy who hates everyone and the girl who wants to kill everyone. And we'll find out who gets to rejoin the show coming up now on _Total Drama--"_

"Sadie!" Izzy exclaimed, as she put her hand over Chris' mouth, glaring at him.

Chris pushed Izzy off again, angry. "I really hate when you guys do that! And I really need to start preparing for it, you guys do it so much."

* * *

Chris was walking around, right outside the Playa' des Losers, where most of the contestants were currently hanging out. "And welcome back to _Total Drama Chris!_ Today, we're doing things a bit differently. Instead of hanging out at Camp Wawanakwa, kicking someone from there to here, we're at the famous Playa' des Losers, where we'd like to kick two people out from here and back to Camp Wawanakwa, where someone here could still wind up winning the million dollars!"

"That's awesome!" Owen exclaimed, jumping up from a lounge chair. "I'd love to get back in and shake things up!"

"Yeah," Chris said sarcastically, "that's not exactly your forté."

"That's forte," Noah said, sitting at a bar in the middle of the pool. Eva, lifting a pair of dumbbells next to him, snickered.

Chris looked confused. "I thought you were supposed to be smart and stuff."

"He's probably right," Gwen said, sitting next to the pool with Heather painting her fingernails black. "Pretty sure Noah isn't going to be wrong like that on international TV. And we'd all love to see you looking stupid." Gwen smirked at Chris.

Chris, irritated, crept behind Gwen and pushed her into the pool. "She did it!" Chris shouted, pointing to Heather, looking irritated.

"I'm not that stupid, Chris," Gwen said, irritated.

"We could always start your nails over," Heather said sweetly, then glared at Chris.

"What?" Chris asked. "You believed it when Leshawna said--"

"Don't want to hear it!" Gwen shouted.

"They were best friends," Noah stated. "Why, I couldn't imagine. You, Chris, however, were never anyone's friend."

"Aww, c'mon guys!" Owen said, trying to be positive. "Chris is awesome! I mean, sure, he doesn't really care much for our lives as long as it makes for good TV, but nobody's perfect."

"Thanks," Chris said, sounding unsure of how to take Owen's "praise."

"Where's Justin, anyway?" Owen asked. "It's not as much fun without him around."

"He can die in a fire for all I care," Eva said, in her usual voice.

"You really don't recall the green hair?" Noah asked.

"Green hair?" Owen asked, confused. "I thought he died it blond, or something."

"You're kidding," Gwen said, raising an eyebrow.

"Or he's colorblind," Noah stated. "Lots of guys are. Though most seem to be a bit more aware of it by the time they're seventeen."

"That's so sad," Sadie said, in a lounge chair next to DJ, looking like she was about to cry. "Not being able to see all the pretty colors in the world… I can't imagine what it'd be like!"

"Not being able to see all the beauty nature has to offer us," DJ said, trailing off. "I don't know what I'd do."

"Don't really care," Chris said, irritated. "All I care about is the next challenge, which you guys are going to participate in! The other campers are having a bit of time to relax over at Camp Wawanakwa, while you guys are going to compete in today's challenge."

"It'll be awesome, too!" Izzy exclaimed, popping her head from beneath the pool, startling Noah. "And it's going to be so great that you're getting a chance to get back into the game! I mean, unless Justin wins. That would kinda' suck."

"I think it'd be awesome!" Owen exclaimed. "I mean, Justin's really, really hot!"

Izzy shrugged. "Not a big fan of green hair, myself."

"May I continue?" Chris asked, annoyed. "Thank you. You'll be divided into teams of two."

"But wait," Beth asked, getting herself a sandwich from a laid-out buffet, "aren't there eleven of us here? I mean, since Duncan's still in the hospital--"

"Oh, I'm not competing," Izzy said. "I mean, with my new show and all, that was one of the conditions. I'm not allowed back."

"How often you seem to forget that," Chris said, irritated.

Izzy shook her head. "As a contestant. I'm not allowed back as a contestant. I'm allowed to island hop as much as I please, though."

Chris grumbled. "Anyway, you'll pair off, into five teams of two."

"Do we get to pick our teammates?" Sadie asked, worried. "I wouldn't want to get stuck with Justin."

"I'd like to stick you with Justin just for asking," Chris said, irritated. "Despite that, yes, you get to choose your teammate."

"DJ!" Sadie exclaimed, glomping DJ. "We can do this together, right?"

"Um, sure," DJ said, unsure. Sadie squeed in delight. DJ had a look of dread on his face.

"I want Justin!" Owen exclaimed.

"If he agrees to it, sure," Chris said, shrugging. "Or if everyone else gets paired up, and you're his only option, I guess."

"I suspect you won't have much competition for Justin," Noah said, smirking, then turned to Eva. "Brains and brawn make for a pretty good combination that could assure us victory."

Eva rolled her eyes. "I've got brains too! More brains than you have muscle."

"Look, iron woman, we can get back into this. We could be an unstoppable team!"

"I like that attitude, though! I'm in!"

Beth was looking nervously at Heather, looking unsure whether or not to approach her.

"Gwen," Heather said, smiling, "we're both two of the most intelligent people here, and two of the most physically fit people here."

Gwen blushed. "I think you're probably a bit smarter and a bit more able. Seriously, as much as I hated you, I saw the ballet routine. That was really good."

"Thank you," Heather said. "I still think we could win this competition and crush our enemies and make it to the final two!"

"Not a big fan of alliances," Gwen said, smirking.

Beth, not far away, was looking downtrodden. "You OK, Beth?" Geoff asked, approaching her.

"Well, I was going to ask Heather to team up with me, but I think she already picked Gwen," Beth said, looking down.

"They're finally getting along," Geoff said, smiling. "That's pretty awesome, little dudette!"

Beth sighed. "I guess, but now I don't know who I can team up with."

"Well, I'm still free," Geoff said, smiling. "We could get back in! I'd love to see my Bridge again."

"Thank you," Beth said, hugging Geoff.

"I think you're in luck, Owen," Chris said. "Guess it'll be you and Justin whether he likes it or not. And I strongly suspect he won't."

"Awesome!" Owen exclaimed, pumping his fist. "We can start right after I eat!" Owen rushed over to the buffet.

"Except we still don't know what we're supposed to do," Noah stated.

"Oh, that's simple," Chris said. "Hidden somewhere around here are two yellow balls with my face on them. All you have to do is find those balls, then cross the finish line at the end of the dock over there, and you're back in the competition. It's that easy."

"That all? Sounds like cake!" Owen exclaimed, then cut out a slice of a layer cake, and ate the entire thing except for the slice. "Tastes like cake too!"

Chef had come out of the building, dragging Justin, still with green hair, behind him, then tossing him before Chris.

"I don't want to be here!" Justin complained.

"But you might be able to get back into the competition," Chris said. "Maybe you'll be able to get revenge on those who've wronged you?"

Justin looked confused at first, but then grew a wicked smile. "You mean, I have a chance to get back into the game?"

"You got it," Chris said, smirking.

"I'm going to make sure I win this," Justin said, then started laughing maniacally, freaking everyone out a bit, except for Chris.

"And you'll be partnered with Owen!" Chris exclaimed, shooting his arms into the air.

"Wait," Justin said, not happy. "Owen? The fart machine Owen? That Owen?"

"Hey!" Owen shouted. "I'm more than just a fart machine! Seriously, what about my lovable personality?"

"You don't have one," Noah said.

"Well, everyone else already paired off," Chris stated. "You and Owen kinda' got together by default."

Owen rushed up to Justin and squeezed him. "It'll be awesome! I'm sure we can win it, since you're so hot!"

"Lucky me," Justin let out, having trouble breathing.

"I'll be pulling for you two as well," Chris stated. "Seriously, we've already got complaints from the pre-school demographic since you've left, Owen."

"Oh, come on!" Owen shouted, irritated. "Don't I have **any **older fans?"

"Me," Chris said. "Anyway, now that I believe everything is in order, go."

Everyone just remained in place, confused.

"I said go," Chris said. "You know, go and find the two balls, cross the finish line with them, that sort of thing? Go?"

Gwen and Heather looked at each other, a bit confused, then started walking inside the building. Eva and Noah soon started searching the bar, and the other three pairs all rushed into the building, clogging the door for a few moments before getting unstuck.

"Finally," Chris said, relieved. "Thought they were just gonna' stand around like idiots for a while." Chris thought it over for a few seconds. "I guess they kinda' did, actually."

"I think there's something back here," Eva said, reaching far into one of the cabinets behind the bar. "Kind of fuzzy balls, these--ack!" Eva screamed, as a rat rushed out of the cabinet.

"I thought this place was supposed to be well kept," Noah said, irritated, then shook his head. "Did it bite? Do you need medical attention?"

"Bite me? Ha! It was scared of me!" Eva boasted, nervous.

"That may be, but you were scared of it as well," Noah said, smirking.

Eva sighed. "It caught me by surprise, OK? Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't tell anyone, but there are cameras everywhere," Noah said. "I'll remind you to threaten Chris about editing that out later."

"Thank you," Eva said.

"I can hear you guys, you know!" Chris shouted, from not far away.

"Then you'd better behave, Chris, or else the big bad boogey Eva's gonna' getcha'!" Izzy exclaimed, popping back out from under the pool water, motioning her hands as claws. "And she could take you on, too. She's stronger than she looks, and she looks strong to start with!" Chris simply grumbled.

* * *

Justin and Owen were searching through the kitchen. Or mostly, Owen was searching, and eating, through the kitchen, as Justin watched. "Find them yet, Owen?"

"Be patient," Owen said, with his head inside the oven. "These balls sure are hid good. I found something I thought might have been the balls, but they turned out to be doughnut holes. I'm actually kind of glad they weren't the balls, because the doughnut holes were really yummy, and if we found the balls before I found those doughnut holes, then I'd have never found them."

"Look, could you stop the blabbering and just find the balls?" Justin asked, learning over toward the oven, right as Owen farted right in his face, causing Justin to faint.

"Heh heh… sorry, Justin," Owen said, smiling.

* * *

"You really think it might be in here?" Heather asked, as she was ransacking a bed.

"Who really knows where it might be," Gwen said, shrugging, as she tore apart a dresser. "Seemed like a pretty good place to start, though."

"Yeah, but are we sure this is going to be Leshawna's room, anyway?" Heather asked, confused. "I mean, it could be Trent's future room, for all we know."

"Chris doesn't really try to keep the room key hidden," Gwen said. "This is definitely the place he's planning on keeping Leshawna."

"OK, but it still seems silly to mess it up before she even gets here," Heather said. "I mean, they'll probably have it all cleaned up before she's voted off, anyway."

"Probably," Gwen said. "Still, the balls could be in this room, so it can't hurt to check."

Heather grinned. "You've got a point."

"And we can check your room next," Gwen said, smirking.

"And then your room," Heather said, grinning wide. "Can't be too careful, and all."

* * *

"So," Beth said, trailing off, as she was checking under couch cushions in the main lounge.

"So," Geoff answered, confused, as he was flipping through channels on the TV.

"Shouldn't we be trying to find the balls?" Beth asked.

"They might be on one of these channels, ch'yeah," Geoff said. "We have to cover all our bases, and all."

Beth sighed. "Even if you see the balls on television, it's not like you could just reach in and grab them out."

"I know that," Geoff said. "We'd have to break the TV open to get 'em out!"

Beth shook her head. "That's not how televisions work.

"What?" Geoff asked. "You don't think Chris would hide the balls inside the TV?"

"Well," Beth said, then paused. "Actually, he might." Geoff was walking over to the TV, when Beth spoke up again. "Maybe you should use a hammer. You might get hurt if you just knock it over."

"Great idea!" Geoff exclaimed, raising his arms.

* * *

Gwen was coming out of her room, right as Heather was coming out of her own room. "Not in my room," Gwen said.

"Not mine either," Heather said. The two walked up the hallway, and looked at the restrooms.

"Why do they have a men's room and a women's room, anyway?" Gwen asked. "Aren't they both one-person-at-a-time bathrooms, anyway?"

"It's in case someone forgets to lock the door, or the door lock doesn't work," Heather answered. "Trés embarrassing."

"Don't people usually knock first?" Gwen asked.

"It's a public restroom," Heather answered. "No one knocks on the door of a public restroom."

Gwen paused for a moment, thinking it over. "Actually, I can't say I ever thought to do that, either."

"It's more likely to be in the men's room, I would bet," Heather stated. "If Chris really wanted Justin and Owen to win this competition, he probably wouldn't put in the girls' room, I mean."

"That's a good point," Gwen said, smiling as she opened the men's room door.

"Can't a dude get a little privacy?!" DJ yelled. Gwen quickly slammed the door, very embarrassed, and very red.

"Maybe a different men's room," Heather said, laughing.

"That wasn't funny," Gwen said, half-hearted.

* * *

"Maybe we should check somewhere else," Justin said, leaning against a wall in the kitchen, as Owen was checking out the refrigerator.

"It's got to be in here!" Owen said, worried, but then perked up. "And I think I found them! Look at these!"

Justin perked up, and smiling, walked over to Owen, but his face fell after Owen removed the two balls from the fridge. "Owen, those are oranges."

"Oh," Owen said, looking down, but then perking right back up. "Well, oranges taste pretty good for something that's healthy, at least." Justin rolled his eyes as Owen popped the oranges into his mouth, not even bothering to peel them.

* * *

"Well, the balls weren't in that first room," Eva said, as she and Noah exited.

Noah put his hand over his face as he shook his head. "Why are you telling me? I already knew that the balls weren't in that room. I was there, remember?"

"Don't push it," Eva said, as she and Noah entered the next empty room. Except it wasn't as empty as they were expecting.

"Noah? Eva?" Nicole asked, reading a book in her bed, obviously irritated. "What are you two doing in my room?"

"You have a room here?" Noah asked.

"Um, duh?" Nicole said. "Seriously, Izzy's co-host and all? Where did you think I was staying?"

Noah thought it over for a few seconds. "You know, I never really thought about it."

"Well I'm staying here and I want you two out!" Nicole shouted. "Privacy, people!"

"I'm sorry," Eva said. "We thought the room was empty."

"Well, OK, but it's not," Nicole said, sighing. "I'd really like some alone time, pretty please? Thank you," she said sarcastically.

"Well… fine!" Noah shouted, as he and Eva left her room, and Noah slammed the door, then shook his head. "Some people are just so rude."

"I know, just barging in her room like that," Eva stated. Noah slapped his face in frustration.

* * *

"I don't know," DJ said, walking down into the basement with Sadie. "It's pretty dark down here. You really think Chris might put the balls down here?"

"Of course," Sadie said, smiling. "It's all scary and stuff, and Chris loves that sort of thing!"

DJ scratched his head. "Yeah, but how well can he really film stuff down here?"

"Well, we are going to turn the lights on, silly," Sadie said, giggling as she flipped a switch to turn the basement lights on.

"Oh, right," DJ said, nervous. "Lights. Of course."

Sadie looked confused. "Did you forget we could turn the lights on?"

"Yeah, maybe I did," DJ said, shivering. "I'm just a little nervous, that's all."

Sadie shook her head, then held DJ's hand. "I think you're more than just a little bit nervous. Can't be as scary as Gwen walking in on your business, but still, do you want to wait upstairs?"

"Are you gonna' be OK, down here by yourself?" DJ asked, looking around quickly.

"I'll be fine," Sadie said, hugging DJ. "I know you'll be up there to protect me, and it's not too scary down here. Or I can handle it."

"OK," DJ said, smiling, then went back up the stairs, tripping on something.

"Are you OK?" Sadie asked, rushing up to him, concerned, holding his face.

"Just a little fall," DJ said, smiling a bit, then pointed to where he fell. "I think we found the balls." DJ was pointing toward a couple of baseball-sized purple balls with Chris' face on them.

Sadie shook her head, disappointed. "Wrong color." DJ looked confused. "Chris is probably trying to mess with our minds, when someone comes back with the wrong balls, all excited, then Chris could give them the disappointing news."

DJ smiled. "You're pretty smart, you know that?"

Sadie blushed, then hugged DJ again. "Thanks."

"I'll help you look down here, OK?" Sadie nodded, smiling brightly.

* * *

"Maybe we should knock. You know, just in case," Noah said, as Eva was about to bust into another room.

"We already found Nicole's room," Eva stated. "We'll be safe now." Eva hurried into the next room, which also wasn't empty after all. She was surprised to see a goth girl hanging in the room.

"Get out of here!" Marilyn screamed. "Get out of here or I'll give you as sacrifices to the Old Gods to appease them and--"

"We're sorry," Eva said, chuckling nervously, closing the door as she backed out. "Didn't realize there were more people here."

"**We're **sorry?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow. "**We **didn't barge in, exactly."

"You didn't exactly apologize to Nicole, so consider it even now," Eva stated.

"And I thought Nicole was mean when we went into her room," Noah said, eyes wide.

"Noah, we barged into her room," Eva said, shaking her head. "Anyone would've been pissed."

* * *

Geoff and Beth entered someone's bedroom. Geoff started making a mess of the place, looking for the balls.

"I don't think you should be doing that," Beth said, worried.

"It's cool," Geoff said, smiling. "It's my bedroom, so we don't have to worry about me getting mad."

"But you just destroyed your room," Beth said, concerned.

"Oh. Yeah," Geoff said, looking down. "Kinda' forgot about those consequences." Beth sighed.

* * *

"Sure are a lot of boxes down here," DJ said, digging through one of the boxes, taking out what looked like a picture of Nicole. "That's odd."

"What is it?" Sadie asked, dropping a pair of fuzzy dice back into a box she was looking through to go over to DJ.

"This is Nicole, isn't it?" DJ asked.

"I think there're a bunch of files in this box," Sadie said, picking up a file with the name "Nicole" written on it. "What do you suppose it is?"

"Wasn't Nicole originally supposed to be one of the contestants this season?" DJ asked. "Pretty sure I heard that, and it looks like there might be twenty-two files here."

"Rachel? Alistair? Candice?" Sadie asked, flipping through the files.

"She's pretty, that one, but let's please leave those files alone," Izzy said, appearing from behind them, startling the two. "Chris apparently doesn't know how to keep this stuff secret."

"Why keep it secret?" DJ asked. "I was kind of curious, myself."

"I thought you were the one who told us all of Chris' secrets," Sadie said. "Why are you keeping it a secret?"

"Because," Izzy started, sounding more serious than usual, "I'm trying to get a deal worked out with the producers. And I really want this to go down, and I really need you guys to help me by keeping this whole thing hush hush, OK?"

"OK," Sadie said, smiling, though also a bit confused.

"Thanks, guys!" Izzy exclaimed, as she carried the box away, not as quickly as she thought she'd be able to leave. "DJ, I don't suppose you can help me carry this up to my room? I really need to secure this stuff." DJ shrugged and helped Izzy with the box.

"I'll stay here and keep looking!" Sadie exclaimed, then dug her hand into another box, when a rat jumped out, causing Sadie to scream and rush back out of the basement to join back up with DJ and Izzy.

* * *

"This time, we knock first," Noah said, as he and Eva approached yet another supposedly empty room. Eva nodded, then Noah started knocking.

"Go away!" a whiny female voice called out.

"Um, do you recognize that voice?" Noah asked, curious. Eva shook her head. "Who are you?" Noah called out.

"None of your business, now scram!"

"She's friendly," Eva said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, that's rich, coming from the psychotic muscle-bound lesbian chick." Eva's rage grew tremendously, and she tried to barge in, except the door was locked. "What, you think I didn't know how to lock a door?"

"No one else did," Noah stated.

"I'm going to rip this thing right off the hinges if I have to!" Eva screamed.

"Sorry, sheesh. You really do have a temper," the voice called out.

"Someone's certainly got issues," Noah stated.

"Watch it," Eva said, glaring at Noah.

"I meant her," Noah said, circling his finger around near the side of his head.

"Oh. Her," Eva said. "Yeah, you're right there. Still curious who she is."

"Still none of your damn business!" the voice shouted.

Eva was fuming at the door, as Noah started to drag her off. "We should probably go now. If she wants to be that way, shouldn't bother us."

* * *

Justin looked irritated as he sat in a folding chair in the kitchen. "We're not going to find the balls in here."

"We still haven't searched the whole kitchen," Owen said.

"Like that pot of gruel," Justin said. "For all the things you've already ate, I'm surprised you haven't touched that."

"I'm not really in a gruel sort of mood," Owen said. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love it when I'm hungry and all, but I'm trying to watch my weight."

"You're kidding," Justin said sarcastically.

"No, seriously!" Owen exclaimed. "See, I figured I was already eating too much, so I should limit it to my favorite foods."

"You already ate almost everything in here!" Justin shouted.

"I have a lot of favorite foods," Owen said, looking guilty.

"Look," Justin said, putting his hand over his face, shaking his head, "you don't have to eat the gruel. Just stick your hand in there and see if the balls are in there."

"But that's kind of unsanitary," Owen said. "I mean, the contestants might not like it if I stuck my arm in there."

Justin rolled his eyes. "First, since when have you ever cared about being sanitary? And second, this stuff is for the contestants who are still in the game. We don't have to eat it, so why should we give a damn about them?!"

"I… guess," Owen said, unsure. "OK, I'll do it!" Owen stuck his arm into the large pot. "I got something!" Owen exclaimed, as he pulled his arm from the pot, holding a couple of baseball-sized green balls with Chris' face on them. "I got them!"

"Really?" Justin asked, looking happier as he looked at the balls. "Great! Just wash that goop off of them first."

"Aye aye!" Owen exclaimed, hurrying over to the sink to wash the gruel off the balls. Justin started cackling as Owen washed the balls off.

* * *

Back at Camp Wawanakwa, Leshawna was sitting on the edge of the Dock of Shame, holding her head in her hands, and dangling her legs over the edge, looking down, crying slightly. Lindsay was watching not too far away, concerned, and walked over to her. "Are you OK?" Lindsay asked.

"Not really," Leshawna said.

Lindsay sat down next to Leshawna. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Same as usual," Leshawna said. "I tried to help Gwen, I messed up really, really bad, everyone hates me, and Gwen hates me."

"It was pretty mean," Lindsay said, nervous.

"I know," Leshawna said. "I wish I could take back what I done. I can't. I messed up, and hardly anyone wants to give me another chance to make up."

"Where have I heard that one before?" Courtney asked, appearing behind them. "I was trying to find you, Lindsay. I was worried you'd gotten lost."

"I'm good," Lindsay said, smiling.

"Leshawna, do you even hear yourself talking?" Courtney asked, a bit irritated.

"Yeah," Leshawna said.

"I don't think you do," Courtney stated. "You wish you could take back what you did, and you wish more people would give you a second chance after doing some terrible things. Doesn't that remind you of anyone else."

"You?" Leshawna asked, confused. Courtney slapped her own face in annoyance.

"I think she means Heather," Lindsay stated matter-of-factly.

"Why can't you make the connection?" Courtney asked. "Heather felt awful for the things she did, and desperately wanted everyone's forgiveness. Now you're feeling awful for the things you did, and desperately want everyone's forgiveness. Are you seeing the hypocrisy?!"

Leshawna ducked her head down. "You really owe it to Heather," Lindsay said.

Leshawna looked back up, smiling slightly. "You know, you guys are right. But I just don't trust her, and I just know she's filling my Gwen with wretched, cruel ideas."

* * *

"And then we could toss her paralyzed body into molten magma," Gwen said, cackling, as the two were neatly going though the bathroom.

"Still think it's a bit harsh," Heather said. "Girl doesn't deserve to die, even if she's been horrible to both of us."

"You're right," Gwen said, smiling, sticking her hand down the toilet. "Just feels so good to vent and talk about this stuff, though."

"I understand the feeling," Heather said. "Just a bit more graphic than when I used to vent to my friends about all the stuff I wanted to do to all the losers--I mean, back when I had friends. And was mean."

"Well, you saw my friends from back home," Gwen said, still smiling brightly. "They can be a bit macabre. Still wish you could've met Pixie Corpse. Seriously, you'd love her!"

Heather smiled nervously, as she was unscrewing the heater while standing on the sink. "I'll just have to take your word." Two baseball-sized yellow balls with Chris' face on them dropped from the heater after Heather removed the heater plate. Heather and Gwen smiled at each other upon seeing the balls.

"I think we may actually win this thing," Gwen said, smirking.

* * *

Chris was sitting in a lounge chair outside the Playa' des Losers, sipping a drink inside a coconut. "So the unlikely duo has found the two balls. But the challenge isn't over yet: they actually have to make it across the finish line with the balls. And personally, I think it'd be a whole lot more fun if I made an announcement to the other contestants that Gwen and Heather have the balls." Chris cackled to himself. "So will Gwen and Heather be able to hold on to those balls, or will someone snatch them away? I'm hoping someone snatches them away, personally, but we'll find out for sure coming up on _Total Drama_--"

"You suck!" Izzy exclaimed, falling from the sky and landing in Chris' lap, causing him to spill his drink. "Seriously though, you really do suck."

"I really, really hate when you guys do that!" Chris shouted, angry.


	28. Day 13, Part 2: Too Many Balls

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 28: Day 13: Part 2: Too Many Balls**

Chris was sitting in a lounge chair on the dock outside the Playa' des Losers, sipping a drink, as Justin and Owen rushed past the finish line, each holding one of their balls.

"We did it!" Justin exclaimed. "We did it, and we're back in the game! And I could actually win this stupid thing!"

"I might win too, you know," Owen said, unsure of himself.

Chris stood up and started laughing. "Sorry guys, but those aren't the right balls."

"Wha, what do you mean?" Justin asked, confused. "Balls, your face on them, of course they're the right balls!"

"I specifically said yellow balls. Yellow," Chris said, irritated. "Do those things look yellow to you, Mr. green head?"

"You didn't say yellow!" Justin shouted, angry.

"He did say yellow," Owen said. "I guess you just weren't paying attention. But these are yellow, so why didn't we win?"

"Because they're green!" Justin yelled. "What kind of idiot doesn't know the difference between yellow and green?!"

"Colorblind idiots," Chris said, nonchalantly. Justin slapped his own face in frustration.

"Hey, just because I'm colorblind doesn't mean I'm an idiot," Owen said, irritated.

"You're an idiot for a lot of reasons," Chris said. "Still, you two can win this thing. Owen, you're a strong guy, right?"

"Not really," Owen said, twiddling his fingers. "Except I get a huge rush when there's food on the line."

"Justin's pretty strong too when he's motivated," Chris said, grinning. "Getting back into the game should be strong motivation, shouldn't it?"

"Oh yes," Justin said, with a devious smile on his face.

"Well right now, Gwen and Heather have the correctly-colored balls."

"So we should go after them," Justin said, smirking.

"No, you shouldn't," Chris said. "You should wait here and forcefully steal the balls from whoever has them right before they cross the finish line. And let everyone else wear themselves down trying to get the balls back."

"Exerting minimal effort," Justin said, with a finger to his chin, looking thoughtful. "I like the idea."

"I do too, but I'm not sure if I can physically stop anyone," Owen said, nervous.

"Just block the path," Chris said. "That's all ya' have to do."

"But what if Eva and Noah get the balls?" Justin asked. "I could take down Gwen and Heather easy, but Eva's another matter."

Chris was grinning widely, as he tossed Justin a tranquilizer gun. "That should make your job easier."

"Isn't that cheating?" Owen asked, worried.

"Who cares," Justin said.

"Technically, it isn't cheating," Chris said. "All they have to do is sneak past Owen and the darts somehow and someone else could still win this thing. No one's crossed the finish line yet. Heck, it would be unfair not to give anyone else a chance to get the balls away from them. In fact, right now, I need to make an announcement. Make this thing more interesting." Chris got out of his chair and walked off, leaving Owen and Justin behind, waiting.

* * *

"Do you really have to put them there?" Gwen asked, laughing, as she and Heather were headed toward the stairwell.

"Maybe not," Heather said, as she removed the two baseballs from the front of her shirt. "That's actually not very comfortable. I feel sorry for Lindsay and Courtney."

"Attention losers!" Chris announced, coming from a PA system going through the entire hotel. "Gwen and Heather have the balls! I repeat, Gwen and Heather have the balls!" Gwen and Heather looked nervously at each other.

"We probably should've seen that one coming," Gwen said. "We're definitely screwed if Eva finds us."

"There they are!" Geoff shouted, after turning a corner in the hallway and spotting Gwen and Heather. "We should, like, get them!"

Beth followed closely behind Geoff. "I'm sorry, you guys, but I really do want to win! It's too bad we can't all win."

"It's to be expected," Heather said, and she and Gwen quickly ran off, and quickly entered a room and closed the door right around the corner, leaving Geoff and Beth confused as to where exactly they ran off too. "Looks like the basement," Heather said, as she and Gwen started climbing down the stairs, with Heather still holding onto the balls.

"Incredible skills of deduction," Gwen said.

"Oh hush," Heather replied. "We'll have to figure something out if we're--" Heather had slipped on something and fell straight onto her back, and she moaned in pain.

"Are you OK?" Gwen asked, concerned. "Do you need anything?"

Heather slowly got up and realized what she had slipped on: a purple ball with Chris' face on it. Nearby, she saw a second one as well. "Wait," Heather said, a bit confused. "There are more of these balls?"

"Again, incredible skills of--"

"Oh cut that out!" Heather snapped. "Still, I have an idea. Do you think you could fit these purple balls in your boots?"

"Uh, no?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. "At least not while I'm wearing them."

"Seriously Gwen. Just try to squeeze them in there with your feet. This will work."

"One, I'm never going to be able to walk with those in my shoes. And two, why hide the purple ones, anyway? No one wants those."

"But they will," Heather said, smirking. "Just trust me on that."

* * *

Beth and Geoff were sitting down in the hallway for a moment, catching their breath. "They have to be somewhere around here," Beth said. "They'll have to come by here to get back out. They can't hide forever."

"And then we take the balls back, right?" Geoff asked.

"Right," Beth said. "I feel a little guilty, taking the balls away, when Heather and Gwen found them first, but that's how we're supposed to play the game, right?"

"Sure, babe," Geoff said. Beth giggled. "Did I say something funny?"

"I'm not used to hearing someone call me a babe," Beth said, smiling. "I like it!" Beth glomped Geoff, who looked surprised, but then pat her on the back.

"You're welcome," Geoff said. He and Beth's heads perked up upon hearing the basement door open, though, where Gwen and Heather emerged from, with Heather holding the two yellow balls.

"Can't catch me!" Heather taunted, sticking her tongue out at Geoff and Beth.

"You're supposed to be nice now!" Beth said, a bit worried.

"We still want to get back into the game, though," Gwen said, as Geoff and Beth ran past her to catch up with Heather. "She really is pretty fast. At least when she's motivated." Gwen then grew a big grin on her face, as she located the door to Sadie's room, went inside, and locked the door.

* * *

"Come on, give us an update," Justin whined, still standing on the dock, next to Owen and Chris, who was watching on a handheld screen.

"What's to say, really?" Chris asked. "For some reason, Heather ran off with the balls, and Gwen hid in Sadie's room. My guess is that they're not getting along."

"Well, of course," Owen said. "Who could possibly get along with Heather?"

"Exactly!" Chris exclaimed. "It's really incredible all the people she's fooling again this year."

"And I thought I was gullible," Owen said, smiling brightly. "I feel kinda' sorry for Gwen, though."

"She deserves whatever she gets," Justin said, irritated, crossing his arms across his chest. "If she's going to fall for her treachery again, then she knows what she's in for."

"I've gotta' agree with Justin on this one," Chris said. "If Gwen wants to be that stupid, then she'll just have to learn again, the hard way."

* * *

"Where do you think Heather and Gwen are?" Sadie asked, as she was walking down the bedroom hallway alongside DJ. "You don't think they'd be too mad if you took the balls away, do you?"

"Me?!" DJ shrieked, nervous.

"Uh, duh," Sadie said, shaking her head disappointedly. "You're a lot stronger than I am."

"Yeah, but I don't know," DJ said, scratching back of his neck. "I don't really think they'd like it that much."

"But it's the game!" Sadie exclaimed, looking pleadingly into DJ's eyes, squeezing him. "We're supposed to try to get the balls away from them so we can win!"

"I guess," DJ said, uneasy. "It still doesn't seem very nice."

As they were searching, Heather rushed past a corner and nearly ran into DJ and Sadie, but quickly doubled back before either of them realized she was just there. Geoff leapt into Heather, but she ducked under as he crashed into DJ, knocking them both down, and ran off.

"She's getting away!" Sadie shouted, as she picked DJ back up, then chased after Heather. Beth was having a bit more trouble with Geoff, though.

"It's cool. I can get up," Geoff said, getting up on his own, realizing Beth wasn't going to be able to help much.

"I'm sorry we lost them," Beth said, looking as if she were about to cry.

"It's my fault," Geoff said. "Didn't look where I was goin'." Beth smiled at Geoff.

"Still gotta' find Eva," Heather said, irritated and exhausting herself out, as she continued running through the hallways. "Where is she, anyway?"

* * *

"She has to come through here sometime," Noah stated, waiting with Eva near the elevators and stairwell.

"I'd still rather actively search her out," Eva said, grumbling, with her arms across her chest.

"Why exhaust ourselves out, though?" Noah asked, smirking. "So much easier just to let the prey come to you."

Heather started running down the stairs, and quickly doubled back when she saw Eva and Noah, both of whom also saw her.

"We should wait," Noah stated.

"No, I'm not letting her get away!" Eva shouted, as she rushed up the stairs, and wound up crashing into DJ, who fell on top of her, and who Heather slipped by. "Get off of me!" Eva shouted.

"Sorry!" DJ said, annoyed. "Sheesh."

"Out of my way!" Eva shouted, picking herself back up. DJ and Sadie rushed after. Noah, still downstairs, slapped his face in frustration.

Heather made her way to Sadie's bedroom door, knocking as if her life depended on it. "Wait, don't go in there!" Sadie yelled, angry. "That's my room!"

"I'll make it up to you later, promise!" Heather said sweetly, making a peace sign, as the door quickly opened and Gwen quickly yanked her inside, shutting the door and locking it.

"Move aside!" Eva bellowed, pushing Sadie out the way. "Err, sorry about that." Eva yanked on the door, then started pounding on it. "**Open up!**"

"Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chin," Heather said, smiling sweetly. "Almost got your boots back on?"

"Yes, but the chinny chin chin thing was lame," Gwen said quietly, picking up two yellow balls soaked in something. "I have to admit, this was a really clever idea!"

"I just hope it works," Heather said, as the two shook hands before.

"We give up!" Heather and Gwen said, as they opened Sadie's door and threw the two yellow balls down the hallway. Eva, Sadie, and DJ chased after the balls, while Heather and Gwen casually started walking away, then ran off.

"I got the balls!" Sadie exclaimed, proudly lifting the two yellow balls in her two hands.

"No, **I've **got them!" Eva shouted, yanking the two balls from Sadie's grip. "I mean, I'm sorry for being a bit rough, but ya' know, it's all in the name of the game, and all." Eva ran off with the two balls, leaving Sadie in a bit of shock, until Sadie noticed her hands, and sniffed them.

"You OK?" DJ asked, concerned with her seemingly odd behavior.

"Heather is an evil genius," Sadie said. "And I'm going to kill her for going through my room."

"I don't get it," DJ said, confused.

"I'll explain on the way to the dock. Maybe if we're really, really lucky, we can still win!" Sadie exclaimed, a bit more serious than usual.

* * *

Heather and Gwen were walking to the dock, but waited when they saw Owen and Justin there. "They're expecting us," Heather said. "This looks like a 'Chris really wants Owen and Justin to win' sort of trap."

"Any more ideas?" Gwen asked.

"Yes. We'll just let Eva set this little trap off for us," Heather said, smirking.

Gwen smiled. "You know, I almost forgot why we didn't get along last year. You're pretty cool when you're using your powers for good."

"Thanks," Heather said, smiling brightly.

"Of course, I could also say the same thing about Leshawna," Gwen said, looking down. "I guess if you were both nice, then the whole balance of the universe would go out of whack and everything would implode."

"Probably," Heather said, shrugging.

"We're gonna' win!" Eva exclaimed, holding the yellow balls, smiling as she and Noah ran out the hotel and ran toward the dock.

"Really should keep it low key until we actually **do **win," Noah said, irritated.

"Like Justin and Owen can stop me!" Eva exclaimed, noticing the two standing right before the finish line, as she was practically there. "I'd like to see them--"

Justin shot Eva with a dart a few yards before the finish line, paralyzing her for a moment before falling asleep, a moment Justin used to casually cross the finish line with Owen holding the yellow balls.

"And that is how you do it," Justin said, smiling, then laughing maniacally.

"Yeah, it is pretty funny how we won at the last minute," Owen said, smiling, then laughing maniacally on his own… poorly.

"Dude, you're embarrassing yourself," Justin said, irritated.

"That's cheating!" Noah shouted.

"No, that's strategyizing," Justin said, smirking, while Gwen and Heather casually strolled across the finish line.

"Come to congratulate us, huh?" Justin said, smirking, with Gwen and Heather holding in smiles. "Well, I'm glad you two could be such gracious losers, instead of pouting and stuff. It'll make you look all the more presentable for--"

"We won!" Heather exclaimed, as she and Gwen started hugging each other.

"No, we won!" Justin yelled, as he and Owen held up their sticky balls. "We've got the balls, and you don't!"

"Yeah!" Owen exclaimed, throwing his fist into the air. "Uh, yeah!"

"You don't have it," Chris said, frowning at Justin and Owen. "Those aren't the right balls."

"What do you mean?" Justin asked. "They're yellow, your face on them, of course they're the right balls!"

"No," Chris stated. "Those are purple balls with yellow goopy stuff dripping off of them."

Justin looked confused, and picked the ball up with his other hand, and noticed the yellow goop on his hand, as well as a purple handprint left behind. "Eww, eww, bad for the skin!" Justin shouted, angry. "They were cheating!"

"No we weren't!" Noah shouted. "We stole the balls fair and square. And you're not exactly one to speak, Mr. 'Knock Out Eva with Tranquilizer Darts'! Not to mention, why do you think we'd have been running to the finish line if we knew we had the **wrong balls?!**" Justin blinked in confusion.

"So where are the real balls, anyway?" Owen asked, confused.

"Right here," Gwen said, grinning, as she took her boots off, then turned the boots upside down, and out fell the two yellow balls with Chris' face on them. "And I can't tell you how hard it was to run with those things in there." Gwen turned to Heather, smirking. "You really are an evil genius."

"Thank you," Heather said, smirking back.

"Evil, yes," Chris said. "Genius, not so sure." Chris turned to Gwen. "But you did cross the finish line with the balls, so you are going to go back to Camp Wawanakwa and compete for the million dollars once again."

"We did it!" Heather exclaimed, as she and Gwen hugged each other, both smiling.

"Not exactly," Chris said, grinning widely.

"What do you mean?" Heather asked, her smile going away, and looking angrier. "We crossed the finish line with the yellow balls. We won. We get back into the game."

"Funny," Chris said, looking bored, admiring his hand. "While Gwen certainly did cross the finish line with the balls, I don't recall you having either one on your person."

"You're kidding," Gwen said, raising an eyebrow. "We were a team."

"Yes. Yes you were," Chris stated. "Unfortunately for Heather, you crossed the finish line with both balls yourself. Nice of you to stab your own teammate in the back like that."

"But it was my idea in the first place!" Heather yelled. "We were looking out for each other!"

"So you stabbed yourself in the back," Chris said, laughing. "Man, that was stupid on your part!"

"But you said two people were coming back!" Gwen shouted, angry.

"Yeah," Izzy said, popping her head out from the lake. "You said you were bringing two people back to the show. Pretty sure I could get Courtney's lawyer on your back if you lied about that."

Chris shook his head. "I'm disappointed in you, Izzy. I thought you, of all people, would have paid closer attention to what I said." Chris whipped out a portable DVD player and played the disc for those watching.

* * *

"_I want to bring two of you guys back, but you're going to be competing for that opportunity."_

"_Anyway, we're here today at the Playa' des Losers to give two of these losers a chance to get back into the game."_

"_We're at the famous Playa' des Losers, where we'd like to kick two people out from here and back to Camp Wawanakwa, where someone here could still wind up winning the million dollars!"_

"_Hidden somewhere around here are two yellow balls with my face on them. All you have to do is find those balls, then cross the finish line at the end of the dock over there, and you're back in the competition."_

* * *

Izzy's mouth went agape, then she shook her head. "I'm sorry guys. So ashamed I didn't catch that."

"Exactly," Chris stated, then started cackling to himself. "I said I wanted to bring two people back. I said I was going to give a chance for two people to come back. At no point did I ever state that I actually** was** bringing two people back. I just let you guys assume that, and well, the rest took care of itself!"

"This isn't over, Chris," Izzy stated, in a somewhat ominous tone. "I'm going to find something that I can do about this, because Izzy doesn't like it, not one bit. And Izzy is going to find a way to take you down, oh yes she is, you'd better believe it!" And with that, Izzy dove back under the water of the lake. Chris didn't seem to take her seriously.

"Sore loser, that one," Chris said. "But Gwen, congratulations! You're back in the game."

Gwen sighed. "Yeah." Gwen turned to Heather. "Look, I'm really sorry that you're not coming back, too."

"Oh, I'm not angry at you," Heather said, turning to give a death glare toward Chris. "Just get there and kick some butt for me!"

"I have every intention of doing just that," Gwen said, smirking. "And I know who's got the biggest butt to kick." Heather giggled a bit, though Owen looked worried. "Owen, you're not in the game."

"Look, it's not my fault my butt's so big. I can't help it that food is just so delicious!" Owen proclaimed.

"I wish I could just diet and be skinnier," Sadie said, walking over with DJ to the finish line. "Really, Katie and I eat the same. Not really fair." Sadie then turned to Gwen and Heather. "I guess you two get to go back and play again? Say hi to Katie for me!"

"Actually, just Gwen gets to go," Heather said, sighing. "It's a long story."

"'Chris is a jerk' isn't that long," Gwen said, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Aww, I'm sorry, Heather," Beth said, rushing up to give Heather a tight hug, with Geoff a bit behind. "It's not really fair."

"Um, hello, did all of you guys really forget all of the things she did to us?!" Justin yelled. "I say it's payback time!"

"So what?!" Beth shouted. "We're just supposed to hate her forever? What about forgiveness?"

"She's Heather!" Justin yelled.

"She's been through a lot," DJ said, irritated.

"And I don't really care," Chris said, yawning. "She's been so boring this year that I had to hire someone just for some action! Seriously, lame."

"So you're admitting that it wasn't Heather after all," Gwen said, smirking.

"Stop that!" Chris yelled. "Seriously, you should be more grateful to me, letting you back in the contest!" Gwen rolled her eyes, and Chris grumbled. "You get to stay here for a couple more days, anyway. Not that you deserve the extra couple of days of luxury here, but I really want to get the timing right when I introduce you back."

"Doesn't both me," Gwen said, shrugging.

"But how long will Gwen last in the competition?" Chris asked. "After all, last year, Eva came and went the same day."

"You're lucky she's asleep right now," Noah stated.

"I know!" Chris exclaimed, grinning. "Great, isn't it? But Gwen will be coming back, and joining the other losers who still haven't lost yet. Will she and Leshawna have the catfight to end all catfights? Can Gwen win such a catfight? Pretty sure Leshawna's physically stronger."

"Like I'd fight her head on," Gwen stated.

"So juvenile," Heather said. "Or so like Jewel."

Chris shrugged. "Don't know who this Jewel person is, but I do know that we're going to have another exciting campfire ceremony next time on _Total Drama--"_

And instantaneously, Gwen shouted Heather's name, Heather shouted Gwen's name, drowning out Chris' own Chris. Gwen and Heather looked to each other, a bit embarrassed.

Chris chuckled a bit. "You know, I was wondering when you interrupters would finally be out of sync with each other. Now you know what it feels like! Ha!"

"Still better than he who shall not be named," Gwen said, smiling. Chris slapped his face, grumbling in frustration.

* * *

Heather was getting ready for bed, in her night clothes, about to turn off the lights in her room, when someone knocked on her door. "Come in!"

Sadie walked in, smiling. "I'm really sorry Chris was so mean to you. That was actually pretty smart. But how did you know I had yellow nail polish?"

"I didn't," Heather said, brushing her hair. "But you seemed to have a lot of colors, so I was hoping. And it turned out you had yellow." Heather looked down. "I'm sorry if I played dirty, using your nail polish to win, going into your room without your permission."

"It's OK," Sadie said, glomping Heather. "Just part of the game and all."

"Thank you," Heather said, smiling. "I really don't want to become that person again."

"How you and Gwen are getting along," Sadie said, trailing off a bit. "You've truly changed."

"Thank you," Heather said, smiling, hugging back. "Want to do it?"

"Oh yes yes yes!" Sadie exclaimed, and then the two squeed together for a moment, and giggled afterward.

* * *

Back at Camp Wawanakwa, while everyone was asleep for the night, Leshawna got up, feeling miserable, unable to sleep. She walked over to the Dock of Shame to sit, and noticed Bridgette was treading water there. "Hi girl," Leshawna said, smiling. Bridgette scowled. "Look, can't I do anything?"

"No," Bridgette said, unmoved.

"I know what I did was terrible."

"I'm not sure that you do," Bridgette said, glaring at Leshawna. "That was just so cruel and heartless!"

"What about all the stuff Heather did?!" Leshawna shouted.

"Heather wasn't our friend! You were!" Bridgette yelled, then started crying a bit. "You were our friend."

Leshawna started tearing up as well, and wiped her eye with her finger. "Look, I wish I could change what I done, but I can't. I'll do anything I can to make it up to you guys, though."

"For one, you could be nicer to Heather," Bridgette said, annoyed.

"Yes, yes, I can do that!" Leshawna proclaimed. "If it means that much to you guys, I'll give her another chance, OK?"

Bridgette sighed. "You just don't get it." Leshawna looked guilty.

* * *

Gwen was boarding one of the boats that brought the contestants to the island at the beginning of the show. Most of the contestants, except for Justin, were there, waving her on. Heather and Gwen hugged once more before Gwen boarded the boat.

"Good luck!" Heather exclaimed.

"Don't need to worry about me," Gwen said, smirking. "Might have to worry about Leshawna when I get back, though. Really, though, thank you."

"And I'll make sure you get there safe and sound!" Izzy exclaimed, popping her head from the steering room. "Did I ever tell you about the time I had to save people who were stuck on a sinking ship? That's right, because of me, I saved three of the people on that boat, uh huh. It's true." Gwen looked up to the sky in a "why me" sort of way as the boat left to return her to Camp Wawanakwa.

* * *

What a horrible twist! Yeah, I know… if any of you caught on to Chris' somewhat suspicious wording beforehand, give yourselves a hand. Yes, maybe it was too obvious which team was going to cross with the yellow balls… except that ending probably still caught most of you off-guard!

So Gwen will be back in the game in the next chapter. And Leshawna's still in the game too. Least I'm pretty sure she is. It's gonna' be a blast!

I'm also sorry this chapter was disappointingly short… new record for brevity! I couldn't figure out a good way to stretch it out longer, though. It's shorter than I would've liked, and the shortest chapter so far by a considerable margin.

And on one final note, with this chapter posted, the story is officially more than half way finished... never thought I'd get to this point when I started! It's been one heck of a journey, though, and we've still got half a story to go! Whee!


	29. Day 14, Part 1: Marooned Dreamers

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 29: Day 14: Part 1: Marooned Dreamers**

"_Hey Shawni!" a young girl of about ten called up, rushing up to Leshawna at the playground, about the same age. "Look what Mommy gave me!"_

"_A cell phone!" Leshawna exclaimed, taking a closer look at the rather plain-looking phone._

"_I got texting on it, too!" the girl exclaimed, excited._

"_What's texting?" Leshawna asked, curious. "Is it really cool?"_

"_Yeah! I can type messages into my phone and send messages! I wish you had a cell phone."_

"_Mama says they too expensive," Leshawna said, looking disgusted. "She's always mean like that."_

"_Your Mama seems so nice though," the girl said, looking down a bit. "And she makes such yummy desserts!"_

"_I'm getting better too, ya' know," Leshawna said, smirking._

_The girl giggled. "No, you really don't have your Mama's cooking skills."_

"_I'm getting better!" Leshawna pouted, crossing her arms._

"_I'll believe it when I taste it," the girl said, giggling more._

"_Come on, give me some credit!" Leshawna shouted, then started smiling. "You're comin' over this weekend?"_

"_Oh yes," the girl said, beaming, and glomping Leshawna. "Just promise you won't cook this time!"_

"_I don't know," Leshawna said, smirking. "There's this spinach casserole I've been wanting to try…"_

"_Yucky!" the girl said, making a gagging face. "I'll be there!" The two girls hugged again._

* * *

"_Come in, Bridgey!" a seven year old girl said, beaming, and glomping Bridgette, with the girl's mother standing right behind her, and Bridgette's mother with her daughter._

"_All day she's been looking forward to spending the day with your daughter," the other girl's mother said, as Bridgette and the girl raced back to the girl's bedroom._

"_What do you want to do, Bridgey?" the girl asked._

"_Well, my Mom's been teaching me some cool yoga postures," Bridgette said, smiling._

"_Yogurt posters?" the girl asked, confused. "Why do you put yogurt on posters?"_

_Bridgette giggled. "It's good for the mind, body, and soul."_

"_So if I smear yogurt on posters, I'll get into heaven?" the girl asked, excited._

"_Not like that," Bridgette said. "I'll show you."_

* * *

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, making grand gestures as he began speaking. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _we spent some time at the Playa' des Losers with our favorite twelve losers! None of them really deserved to win, but Justin and Owen didn't deserve it the least, so everyone at home was rooting for them to win."

"No one wanted them to win," Izzy said, peeking her head from under the Dock of Shame. "Well, except for the little kids who wanted Owen to come back. But according to viewer polls, everyone unanimously hated Justin, and wanted Rupert to win!" Chris blinked in confusion. "Whoops, wrong poll," Izzy said, laughing at her mistake.

"Regardless, Justin would have made for awesome TV, creating drama while lookin' fine," Chris said, irritated, rubbing his forehead.

"And even though Chris tried to cheat to have Justin and Owen win, despite all of Chris' efforts, Gwen and Heather won." Izzy glared angrily at Chris. "Sort of."

Chris shrugged. "Not my fault they didn't pay attention to the rules."

"Like you were going to pull that out from your ass if Justin and Owen won," Izzy said, still glaring at the host.

"Of course not," Chris said. "If they won, like they **should **have, I'd have let them both in. But I needed an escape clause, in case something went wrong! And boy, am I ever glad I planned that ahead!"

"Good," Izzy said, grinning wickedly, then ducked back under the dock.

Chris looked confused. "OK," he said, scratching his head. "Well, the team of Gwen and Heather, despite my best efforts to--I mean, Justin's and Owen's best efforts--their team won the challenge, crossing the finish line with the two yellow balls. Unfortunately for Heather, Gwen had both of the balls when they crossed, so Heather lost out on a technicality, and Gwen will be returning to the island shortly. How will the other players react? Will Courtney still be angry that Gwen's trying to steal her guy?"

"Gwen isn't interested in Duncan like that!" Izzy shouted from underneath the dock. Chris, irritated, stomped hard on the dock, and heard a splash below. Chris chuckled to himself.

"Will Gwen tell off Leshawna as soon as she gets to the island?" Chris faked looking thoughtful, while a hand saw was starting to cut through the dock from beneath Chris. "No Gwen won't. Why won't she? There's a reason… but stay tuned to find that out, as well as our most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, coming up now on _Total Drama _**yaargh!**" Chris fell through a circle that collapsed within the Dock of Shame.

Izzy climbed out of the circle, grinning wickedly, holding a hand saw which she quickly hid behind her back. Izzy looked down the hole, shaking her head while "tsk tsking" at Chris. "Wow! You can't even get the name of the show right anymore. Didn't think that'd ever happen! Has a nice ring to it, though… _Total Drama Yaargh!" _Izzy exclaimed, imitating Chris' panicked scream at the end. "I think that'd make a pretty nice name for the show, don't you think?" Izzy asked, looking down the hole with a wicked grin.

"Shut up!" Chris screamed, spitting water out of his mouth as he did so, with most of his body below the lake.

* * *

"_She's here!" the young girl of ten exclaimed, about to rush out the door._

"_Hold on," her mother stated coldly. "It's really about time I met this friend you hang out with… Shawn, you said her name was, or something?"_

"_It's OK, Mommy," the girl said, nervous. "You don't have to meet her."_

"_But that's what a good parent would do," the mother stated coldly, as she opened front door, with the girl looking nervous, hiding behind the mother. "It's not your friend, it's just some ghetto person."_

"_Um, and you are?" Leshawna asked._

"_**You **__don't get to ask that!" the mother demanded. "__**You **__are going to remove yourself from this property before I call the police. Your kind is not welcome here!"_

"_I just wanted to pick up Madison to bring her over for the weekend," Leshawna said, confused. Madison looked like she was going to die, then darted off for a moment, while the mother started a tirade._

"_What the hell?! You--you're Shawn?"_

"_Leshawna, actually," Leshawna said, a bit nervous._

"_My daughter would never hang out with your kind, you piece of ghetto trash! What's she going to learn from you?!" Madison returned behind her mother, holding up a piece of paper reading 'I'm sorry,' as the mother continued ranting. "How to get drugs, have sex, go to prison, 'cause that's all you people ever do! And if you __**ever **__talk to my daughter again, that's __**exactly **__where your skanky ass is going, you hear me?!" The mother shoved Leshawna to the ground forcefully and slammed the door._

_After a few seconds, which it took Leshawna to finally get back up from off the ground, the house was swarming with squad cars, with the police inside surrounding Leshawna, pointing guns at the girl. "I'm innocent," Leshawna cried out._

"_We hear you've been harassing Mrs. Blanche," one of the officers coldly stated, as another cuffed Leshawna and threw her into the back of one of the cars._

"_You people belong in the slums, and that's where you need to stay," another officer stated. Leshawna was just bawling her eyes out._

* * *

"_Dinner's ready, girls!" the mother of Bridgette's friend called out. The two girls excitedly ran to the table, sitting next to each other, as the mother was bringing out food. "I've made a couple of pizzas for you guys! Bridgette your mother told me that you like it with pepper, black olives, and mushrooms." The mother smiled wishfully as she brought the pizza out onto the table. "Wish I could get Sarah to eat a little better, myself."_

"_I eat healthy!" Sarah proclaimed, causing Bridgette to giggle._

"_Man cannot live on bread alone, and little girls can't live on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches along, either," the mother teased, as she brought out a second pizza, with pepperoni. "Oh, you can eat as much as you'd like, Bridgette."_

"_Why is there pepperoni on that pizza?" Bridgette asked, concerned._

"_Well, Sarah likes pepperoni. And I do too, for that matter," the mother said. "You don't have to eat that one."_

"_But pepperoni… isn't that meat?" Bridgette asked, worried._

"_Your mother told me you didn't eat meat," the mother said. "There's no meat on the other pizza, I promise! Cross my heart!" the mother said playfully._

"_Hope to die! May lightning strike me if I'm telling' a lie!" Sarah started to sing._

_The mother started to laugh. "Have you been going through my old records again?"_

_Sarah looked down. "Yes, Mommy. I put it back, though, I promise!"_

_Bridgette was looking angry, though. "But that's murder!"_

"_She wasn't that bad," the mother said, but then got serious when Bridgette threw the pepperoni pizza off the table, where it naturally landed on the floor upside down._

"_Aww," Sarah said, sad. "Bridgette killed the pepperoni pizza."_

"_Bridgette, why did you do that?" the mother asked, concerned._

"_How could you kill those poor little piggies?" Bridgette asked, horrified._

"_The poor little, what?" the mother asked, confused, before it hit her a couple of seconds later. "Oh, you mean the pepperoni?"_

"_Yes!" Bridgette yelled. "You're a grown up! You should know better than that!"_

_The mother shook her head, then started speaking sternly. "We eat meat. And we're not going to stop because you're throwing a temper tantrum."_

"_But it's wrong!" Bridgette yelled._

"_No one's making you eat it," the mother stated. "I made an all vegetable pizza especially for you. There was no reason to ruin the other one."_

"_But killing animals is evil!" Bridgette continued yelling, angry. "You're such an awful mother! What are you teaching Sarah?!"_

"_Precocious," the mother said, trying to hold back her own anger. "I'd like to think that I'm raising Sarah to be a beautiful, smart girl who's going to grow up to be a successful woman one day."_

"_You're doing a lousy job!" Bridgette yelled. Sarah, worried during the whole fight, started crying._

"_I think it's time we took you back to your home now," the mother stated, not happy._

* * *

Leshawna was waking up, though quickly noticed she was lying on cold, hard metal, and that she seemed to be trapped in a small, enclosed space. "Hello? Anybody out there? Hello? Can someone help me, please?!"

"Quiet down," Bridgette complained, not far away. "I'm trying to… wait." Bridgette finally noticed that she, too, was lying on cold, hard metal, and that she was no longer under the night stars, but in a tiny, pitch black metal box, and she started to freak out. "Where am I? What did you do?!"

"Me?!" Leshawna asked, irritated. "You think I wanna' be here?!"

"Well, no," Bridgette said, a bit guilty. "I guess not." Bridgette tried looking around. "Where are you, anyway?"

"I'm over here," Leshawna said, with fear in her voice.

Bridgette crawled over to where Leshawna's voice was coming from, but several metal bars seemed to be blocking her. "There seem to be bars between us."

Leshawna gulped. "So why we be locked up?"

"I don't know," Bridgette said, starting to cry. "I just woke up in this room, locked with **you**, can't see a thing, and I don't know what I've done to deserve this."

"I'm really, really, **really **sorry about what I did to Gwen and Heather, OK?" Leshawna asked, as she tried to feel her way over to Bridgette. After Leshawna got to the bars, she tried to feel her way through them, but after she felt something, she immediately got a slap to her hands, and hard. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"That was you?" Bridgette asked, worried. "OK, that's good to know. Something was just feeling up my breasts, though."

Leshawna turned red… or would have if she could be seen at all. "I'm sorry about that. I was trying to reach out to your hands. I know you don't like being alone in the middle of nowhere."

Bridgette chuckled a bit, though still quite frightened. "Alone in the woods, actually. Though I do suppose this is a lot worse."

"I just thought we should be there for each other right now," Leshawna said. "Or I want to be there for you, at least."

"Thank you," Bridgette said warmly, as the two held hands through the bars.

* * *

Katie woke up early, in her sleeping bag outside, and noticed that Bridgette's sleeping bag was empty. Katie slowly got out of her sleeping bag and walked over to the Dock of Shame to find Bridgette, but she wasn't there, either. Katie was looking worried as she walked around the island, in search of Bridgette, but not finding her anywhere. "Bridgette!" Katie called out occasionally, hoping for an answer, but with no luck. After searching for a while, Katie walked up to the cabin door where Lindsay, Leshawna, and Courtney were likely asleep, and knocked on their door. After getting no answer, Katie knocked on the door fervently.

"I'm up!" Courtney yelled from the other side of the door, sounding none-too-happy, though it was Lindsay, groggy, who actually opened the door, still in her sleepwear.

"Kelly?" Lindsay asked, out of it. "Is this important? I really, really need my beauty sleep. When I don't get enough sleep, I can't think straight, and I get distracted."

"Happens a lot, huh?" Katie asked, with a small smirk.

"Actually, yeah," Lindsay answered, confused. "How did you know that?"

"Good guess," Katie said. "Is Bridgette in here?"

"No," Courtney stated, irritated. "Chris said you two weren't allowed to sleep in here, even though we have plenty of room. I wouldn't want her to get in trouble, after--wait." Courtney paused, realizing the problem. "Bridgette's missing?"

"Yeah," Katie said, worried. "I can't find her anywhere. I've been looking everywhere." Katie paused for a moment. "She wouldn't take a walk through the forest, would she?"

"She's terrified of that," Courtney stated. "So no. That's quite a mystery we have here, though. I bet Chris did something."

"Probably," Lindsay nonchalantly agreed, then yawned.

"Leshawna, we're going to be out looking for Bridgette," Courtney stated, as she walked over to Leshawna's bed, only to discover that Leshawna wasn't in it. "Katie, did you see Leshawna this morning?"

"I didn't see anyone," Katie said, then smirked. "Well, except Ezekiel. He gets up early, I guess. He was picking his nose, too. Like totally gross!" Katie started making a gagging motion with her finger.

"I actually haven't been seeing him doing that," Courtney said. "I suppose it was inevitable, though."

"Or he didn't think anyone was awake yet," Lindsay stated. "He might be a little embarrassed if he knew he was being watched."

"International TV, hello!" Courtney shouted. "We're being watched all the time! Even if no one were awake yet, the cameras are still watching our every move, and there's no telling what's going to make it to air!"

"Wait," Lindsay said, worried, "they tape us when we're in the shower, even?"

Courtney turned red. "He'd better not! I have lawyers if I find out that he has, though!"

The girls heard banging on the wall. "Keep it down in there!" Harold shouted from the other side of the wall. "We're trying to sleep over here! Gosh!"

"OK, he is seriously getting on my nerves," Courtney said, irritated.

"It's not just you, either," Katie said. "He's been getting on everyone's nerves lately with his whole 'take down Lindsay' attitude."

"Oh, don't worry," Lindsay said. "I haven't even gone down for Tyler yet."

Courtney and Katie stared at Lindsay wide-eyed. "That's not quite what I meant," Katie said, uneasy.

"I'm a good girl, I promise," Lindsay said, smiling sweetly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I don't get why guys think I'm easy. I want it to be special! It's really mean how so many guys I know think I'm too stupid to know what they're trying to do!

* * *

"I can't believe they'd wake us up this early," Harold said, irritated. "Chris, yes, I believe he would. Why do the girls have to be so loud, though?"

"They probably wanted to have a private conversation," Tyler said. "Seriously, we could get back to sleep if you'd stop complaining."

"They were awfully loud for a private conversation," Harold said, then sighed.

"We know. They're finished now, though," Tyler complained. "Seriously, now you're the one keeping us up." Tyler tossed and turned for a bit. "Now I can't sleep!"

"Why do you think I've been complaining?" Harold asked.

"Oh, shut it," Tyler said, as he changed into his usual suit and headed out the door.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: (irritated) Would've really been nicer if they both would've just shut up. Seriously, complaining about complaining. (Cody shakes his head.)

* * *

When Tyler stepped outside, he noticed Courtney, Lindsay, and Katie looking around, calling for Leshawna and Bridgette. Confused, Tyler walked up to the three. "Everything OK? You guys were kind of loud this morning."

"That was probably Courtney," Katie said nonchalantly. Courtney glared at the girl.

"We're trying to find Lashonda and Bridgette," Lindsay stated. "We kinda' lost them."

"Most likely Chris has something to do with their disappearance," Courtney stated, angry. "We all know how despicable and horrible a human being he is, after all."

"Oh," Tyler said, looking down, but then perked right back up. "I bet I can find them! They don't call me 'Tyler, the guy who finds things' for nothing!"

"No one calls you that," Courtney stated.

"But they will if I find Leshawna and Bridgette!" Tyler exclaimed.

"Do we even really want to find Leshawna?" Katie asked.

"Yes, we do," Courtney stated. "She's a strong player and our team needs her."

"Isn't there a merge coming up, though?" Tyler asked. "I mean, we don't want to have to go up against someone who's too strong. Still, I can take on everyone!" Tyler posed, making Lindsay giggle, and Courtney rolled her eyes.

"I really hope there's a merge," Katie said, worried. "I mean, my team is down to two people." Katie thought it over for a moment. "Or one person, now that Bridgette's missing."

"For Bridgette's sake, I hope you're right," Courtney stated. "I mean, not that I have anything against you Katie," Courtney quickly added nervously.

"It's all right," Katie said, glomping Courtney. "I'm just happy we're friends, even if we're not BFFFLs."

"Um, you're welcome," Courtney said, a bit uncomfortable. "Please let me go."

"Sorry," Katie said, smiling.

"Maybe we could ask Chef," Lindsay said, thinking it over.

"I'll ask him," Katie stated confidently. "No reason we should all risk our lives over it. Just promise me you'll come to my funeral if he kills me." Katie chuckled a bit, though the other three looked a bit uncomfortable.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I have to say, I like Katie's moxie. I'm almost ashamed that I wasn't brave enough to volunteer… first. (Courtney winks at the camera.)

* * *

"I'm coming with you," Courtney said, rushing up to Katie as she was approaching the mess hall door. "No reason to make you face him alone. And I'm pretty strong, in case he tries anything."

Katie almost glomped Courtney again, but stopped herself, pulled herself back, and smiled innocently. "Thank you."

Courtney looked guilty. "How about we compromise and you give me a lighter hug?" Katie nodded and gently gave Courtney a soft hug: Courtney smiled and pat her on the head.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: I couldn't believe Courtney and Katie faced Chef like that. But then, Courtney is pretty tough. Not as much as I am, naturally, but I really should have remembered that Courtney can easily take care of himself, and that Chef isn't really as tough as he may seem. I mean, not that Chef is a weakling by any stretch, but they're all the same. One time I got in trouble for attacking this chef who could barely speak Swedish, much less English, when he gave me a chocolate mousse instead of a chocolate moose, like with antlers. Moose steak is very tasty, let me tell you, and it's especially delicious smothered in chocolate sauce! Uh huh!

* * *

Katie and Courtney entered the mess hall, where Chef could be seen angrily mixing together random debris and sludge into a large pot. "Chef Hatchet?" Katie innocently asked as she approached the counter, "do you know where Leshawna and Bridgette are?" Chef just grumbled.

"The lady asked you a question!" Courtney shouted, angry.

"Don't mean I have to answer!" Chef barked. "It ain't none of yo' business!"

"They're our friends, and they've gone missing," Courtney stated, angry. "Yes, it is our business."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: That confused me, when Courtney said "friends," as in, plural, with an s at the end more than one friend. I mean, I know Courtney and Bridgette are close, and I know Courtney feels Leshawna is useful for challenges, but they're not friends, right? (Katie looks into the camera nervously.)

* * *

"Still ain't tellin' you!" Chef shouted.

"Don't make me get physical," Courtney stated, with an uneasy tone in her voice.

"You, skinny?" Chef asked in disbelief, then started cracking his knuckles. "This is gonna' be fun!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: (in bandages, with a black eye and crutch) Where… how… what the hell was that?!

* * *

"**Tell me where they are!**" Courtney screamed, starting to pick up the refrigerator, with Katie shivering a bit away, and Chef quivering in fear as well.

"I give up!" Chef cried in fear. "I don't know where they are! Chris don't tell me nothin'!"

"Wait," Katie said, confused, wrenching her face. "If you didn't know where they were, wouldn't it have been easier just to tell us that?" Katie shook her head. "You're an idiot." Chef started to growl, but whimpered once Courtney picked up a meat tenderizer menacingly, hitting her other hand with it.

"How I supposed to know crazy girl could do that?!" Chef said.

"Um, lamp post last season much?" Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey guys," Izzy exclaimed, barging through the door in the kitchen. "I'm sorry that I'm a little… whoa, what happened to him?" Izzy asked, pointing to Chef.

"She happened," Katie said, pointing over to Courtney, who blushed.

"It was nothing," Courtney proudly stated. "Feel free to shower me with your undying loyalty, however."

"Well, I know where Leshawna and Bridgette are," Izzy said, then sighed. "Unfortunately, it's part of a stupid challenge, and I'm not allowed to interfere, so all I can do is wait, and tell you guys not to worry too much. Except that it's a little cruel, if you ask me. Still, unfortunately, all we can do is wait."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: I did put a whole bunch of ice cubes on the box, at least. Ought to help keep them a little bit cooler.

* * *

Courtney and Katie walked out of the mess hall, and found Lindsay and Tyler making out under a tree. "Who's innocent again?" Katie asked, smirking.

Lindsay looked up, a bit irritated. "Making out doesn't make babies and leave stretch marks," Lindsay said sarcastically.

Katie shrugged. "Guess I can't argue with that, really."

"Did you guys find out anything?" Tyler asked.

"Yes," Courtney said, disgusted. "Namely that we'll have to wait for Chris to announce today's challenge, and that their disappearance involves said challenge." Katie collapsed to the ground and started bawling her eyes out. "We'll get Bridgette back, I promise!" Courtney stated smiling, and handing Katie a tissue. "We'll be here for you until she gets back, OK?"

Katie blew her nose into the tissue. "Thanks," she said, letting out a soft smile. "You know, I know we got off to a bad start this year, because of the whole thing with Sadie and the apples last year--"

"Don't mention it," Courtney said, still smiling.

"You really have changed, though," Katie said. "You used to be so mean and angry and bossy all the time, and now you're still kinda' mean and angry and bossy, but you're also a lot nicer."

"Lindsay deserves some of the credit," Courtney said, smiling. Lindsay blushed. "She's been a great friend, and help me with my patience. But really, it started after I started last school year, with this girl named Jewel."

"Your school too?" Katie asked, surprised. "How does this girl get around so much?!"

"It's a different Jewel," Courtney stated. "Though apparently, there do seem to be an unusually high number of evil girls named Jewel."

"Another evil girl named Jewel?" Katie asked, confused.

"Yes," Courtney said. "The girl hated me for no reason at all! All I wanted to do was run unopposed for student body president, and this girl ran against me!"

"You're kidding," Katie said sarcastically. "You hate her because she ran against you in a student election?!"

"Yes!" Courtney shouted, angry. "She had no right to do that! She didn't even want the position! It was foisted upon her by the teacher from hell!"

"Why would the teacher force a student to run for president, anyway?" Tyler asked, confused.

"I don't know! The teacher hated me for no reason! I was a perfect student! All the other teachers loved me. I don't know what this guy's problem was."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Courtney's story reminded me of this flick I went to see with my friend Tracy. It was about this girl who got trapped in an old black and white TV show. I'm not really sure what the two had to do with each other, but the movie was so boring until all the color started coming back. I don't get why anyone would make a black and white movie. They're boring and ugly. All the old people who made movies seemed to like it for some reason, though.

* * *

"And that turned you nicer?" Katie asked, confused.

Courtney sighed, looking down. "Well, after my lawyers the teacher got fired after I discovered proof that he rigged the election against me--and with tenure, believe me, that's easier said than done--and for some reason, they still allowed that bitch Jewel to keep her position, I was realizing that, for some reason, the other students hated me."

"Can't imagine why," Katie said, shaking her head.

"Neither could I," Courtney said. "I had nothing, and only one other student seemed to notice or care how lonely I was. A girl named Bridget. And I did the stupidest thing when she introduced herself."

"You got her name wrong?" Lindsay asked, worried. "I'd have forgiven you for that."

"No," Courtney said. "She told me she spelled her name different from the way my friend from the show spelled it, and I told her that her name was spelled stupidly. She didn't really like that much."

"Insulting the spelling her parents gave her," Katie said, shaking her head. "You really did that."

"I know, not my greatest moment," Courtney said, hanging her head. "A week later, though, she gave me another chance, and we had some fairly deep conversation about why I didn't have friends. She was actually really nice, even though she wound up yelling at me a lot… but she realized I was lonely, and she realized why I was lonely, and she realized I had some problems." Courtney looked up to the sky. "I hope I'm making you proud!"

"I'm sorry," Lindsay said, shedding a tear. "How did she die?"

"What?" Courtney asked, confused. "She's alive."

"I think she was just looking up the sky for where ever Bridget is, watching," Katie said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Seriously, a sociopath?! What the hell kind of teacher actually calls one of their students a sociopath?! (Courtney calms down after a few seconds and starts crying a little.)

Lindsay: (beaming) I knew Courtney needed me! She really does need me and Bridgette. And the other Bridget too, I guess.

Katie: Wouldn't it be cool if Other Jewel and Other Bridget had buttons for eyes? (Katie chuckles.) Be kinda interesting, anyway.

* * *

All of the contestants, except for Leshawna and Bridgette, were waiting at the start of the Dock of Shame, while Chris was standing before them, at the edge. "I suppose you guys would like to know what we're doing here."

"Waiting for you to announce the next lame challenge. Duh," Katie said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms across her chest.

"Well, yes," Chris said, irritated. "But that's not all. We're also waiting for one of your fallen comrades to come back."

"Is it Duncan?" Courtney asked, somewhat excited, then composed herself, though still continued talking rapidly. "I mean, if it were Duncan, I would be all right with that. It would be acceptable if it were Duncan. I wouldn't complain, at least not unless he did something stupid, like he always eventually does, but really, I could accept it if he were coming back, and I promise I wouldn't be angry with you, Chris, if he did return to--"

"Shut up!" Chris yelled, rubbing his forehead. "He's still healing after that accident, so no, it's not him." Courtney snapped her fingers in disappointment.

"Is it Heather?" Lindsay asked. "It would be really nice is Heather came back."

"I hope it's Noah!" Katie exclaimed, then turned red. "Or Sadie! Noah **or **Sadie! Either one, I won't complain!" Katie looked down, embarrassed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I'm so so sorry, Sadie! Noah popped into my head first, for some reason, even though I know I should be loyal to you first.

* * *

A luxury boat was seen in the distance, getting closer, and soon enough, the contestants could make out the figure on the boat as Gwen, who stepped off the boat once it arrived. Trent was smiling brightly, and was walking toward Gwen, but Katie rushed past and glomped Gwen. "I'm so so so so sorry you got voted off!" Katie said, tearing up.

Gwen was looking uncomfortable. "That's nice. You could get off, please."

"Oh, sorry," Katie said, laughing uncomfortably as she let go.

Trent then took the opportunity to step up. "I missed you, babe." Trent and Gwen then had a nice, long kiss.

"We have a show, people," Chris said, annoyed.

"Oh, shut up!" Katie shouted, narrowing her eyes toward Chris, then excitedly looked back to Trent's and Gwen's kiss, beaming, holding her hands together. "You guys are so cute together! Eeii--" Katie stopped herself short, putting her hands over her mouth. "I'm sorry about that. I just got so excited seeing you two getting so passionate! It's so beautiful and awesome! It's just so--"

Courtney put her hand over Katie's mouth. "I'm not the only one who talks too much." Katie nodded, then Courtney removed her hand. "Let's just give them a little alone time."

"No alone time!" Chris shouted. "It's challenge time!" Trent and Gwen stopped kissing, and Gwen glared death to Chris.

After a few seconds, Gwen turned back to Trent. "I guess we're going to be competing against each other again."

"Not exactly," Chris said, grinning widely. "While I admit that I'm rather fond of having you and Trent on different teams, I thought it'd be even more fun to put you and Leshawna on the same team! Plus, the Killer Chrises already have too many players, so--"

"Wait," Katie said, nervous, and talking especially rapidly, with a bit of a deranged look on her face. "But last season, we merged at the final ten, so shouldn't we be merging now? Individual challenges and stuff? It's too late in the season to still have two separate teams! It's important that we all compete against each other individually at this point!"

"I'm glad you remember that we had a merge last season when there were ten contestants left," Chris said, smirking. "Except we have eleven. Why would I merge the teams if we have eleven contestants left?"

"We **had **ten!" Katie yelled, worried. "Actually, right now, we have only nine! Where are Bridgette and Leshawna, anyway? But more importantly, where's Bridgette?!"

"Now that's the challenge, you see!" Chris exclaimed, beaming. "Both of your teams are missing one of their teammates. They've been locked away in a hot box."

"Seriously?" Courtney asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm pretty certain you can't legally do that."

"What? It's Canada!" Chris exclaimed. "Everyone knows we have perpetual winter up here!"

"No we don't!" Courtney yelled. "Seriously, who the hell really thinks it never gets hot up here?!"

"Lindsay, for one," Chris replied, smirking.

"Um, I live here," Lindsay said, annoyed. "I'm not **that **stupid, you know? I know it can get hot here."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: I always kind of figured she was that stupid, actually.

Trent: Lindsay's very pretty, don't get me wrong, but as far as brains… well, let's just say it's a good thing for her that she is beautiful.

Courtney: Am I seriously the only person who's noticed anything Lindsay's done since this season started?! I mean, aside from Heather, but she doesn't count, since she was voted off. And Tyler doesn't count because they're going out. And Leshawna doesn't count because we don't like her. Oh, and Bridgette doesn't count because she's locked in a hot box! Seriously, that can't be legal.

* * *

"If I may continue," Chris said, irritated, "all you have to do is rescue your trapped teammate. The team that rescues their teammate will be safe. The losing team will have to vote someone off."

"But that's not fair!" Katie cried. "They have eight people who want to find Leshawna!"

"We don't all really want to find her," Gwen said, irritated.

"But on my team, all I have is me!" Katie started crying a little. "I don't do well by myself."

"Good golly gracious!" Chris exclaimed, mocking. "I hadn't thought of that! Gee willikers! I really hope that doesn't cause you too much strife!"

"You can do it, Katie!" Lindsay cheered, patting Katie on the back.

"Katie's on the other team, du… um… Katie's on the other team," Harold said, looking a bit nervous.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: Seriously, I don't see why I should have to be nicer to Lindsay. She was trying to sabotage our team back there!

* * *

Chris handed Courtney a sheet of paper. "This is a clue that will help you rescue Leshawna. I'm handing it to you since you sort of seem like the team's leader, or something."

"I do like to think of myself that way," Courtney said, smiling. Gwen rolled her eyes.

Chris walked over to Katie, handing her a sheet of paper as well. "Same thing, clue to help you save Bridgette. You're probably the last person I'd have picked for team leader, but you don't really have much of a choice now, do you?" Chris asked, with a devious grin on his face.

"This is **so** not fair!" Katie said, nervously reading the paper. "I'm like at a serious disadvantage here!"

"I know!" Chris exclaimed. "You see, that's going to be the best part! Watching your ass get kicked off finally! But of course, that's assuming your team loses, but let's face it, your team--you, basically, don't have a prayer! And then everyone watching at home with breathe a big sigh of relief at our least dramatic, but most wished for campfire ceremony ever: the one where you **finally **get eliminated, Katie, and for once, it's not just wishful thinking on my part, but realistic thinking! You're going to lose, and you can't do anything about it! So stay tuned to watch Katie's big elimination, coming up on _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris started laughing like a madman, while the contestants were cringing.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Seriously, Chris has problems. I really don't understand his fascination with getting rid of Katie. I mean, sure she's annoying, but a lot of the others here are as well. It just doesn't make any logical sense.

Katie: (looking down, sniffling) I miss Bridgette.

* * *

"I really need to pee," Bridgette said, sounding in pain, desperately holding it in, still in the pitch black metal box..

"If you have to go, then you have to go," Leshawna said, sighing. "Really, this can't be legal."

"It'll smell awful in here, though," Bridgette said, concerned. "I don't really want to be trapped in here with that, and I don't want you to suffer with the stench either."

"So you don't hate me?" Leshawna asked, hopeful.

"Yes, I…" Bridgette started to say, but then trailed off. "No. I don't hate you." Bridgette reached through the bars to hug Leshawna--sort of--and Bridgette started to cry. "I can't tell you how much I hated what you did to everyone." Bridgette looked down. "Jewel was actually kind of right about me."

"Don't say that about yourself, hon," Leshawna said, smiling. "That girl's nothin' but a creep."

"She was," Bridgette said. "Doesn't mean she was entirely wrong about everything, though. I used to have a bit of a temper."

"You?" Leshawna asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Bridgette said, then went over to a corner. "I'm sorry, but I really have to go, and now."

"It's OK," Leshawna said. "Sooner or later I'm gonna' have to go as well."

* * *

At the Playa' des Losers, Izzy was talking on the telephone in the lobby. "Hello, operator? I'd like the number for the law firm of Fleckman, Fleckman, Cohen, and Grouse." Izzy took out a pad and pen, and started writing down a number. "Thank you!"


	30. Day 14, Part 2: My Fair Katie

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 30: Day 14: Part 2: My Fair Katie**

"That does stink, girl," Leshawna said, fanning her hand in front of her nose, still trapped in the hot box with Bridgette, with bars separating the two girls..

"I'm sorry," Bridgette said, blushing. "I just really, really had to go."

"And we're trapped in this little space with the stench," Leshawna said, faking puking noises.

"Other way, other way!" Bridgette screamed.

"Oh, I was just fakin' it," Leshawna said. "OK, not the right time for that, I guess."

"I can't exactly see you, after all," Bridgette said, chuckling a bit.

"I know, I know," Leshawna said teasingly.

Bridgette sighed. "I'm sorry, Leshawna."

"Girl, when you got to go, you got to go," Leshawna said, smiling. "Really, I can live with the stink."

"I didn't mean that," Bridgette said. "I meant being so stubborn with not accepting your apologies, regarding what you did to Gwen and Heather."

"Thank you, but it's kinda' my fault," Leshawna said. "I wasn't a very good friend."

"To put it lightly," Bridgette stated. "Still, I can admire why you did it. You did what you felt was the right thing to do. You were trying to protect a good friend."

"And I did a lousy job of it," Leshawna said, resting her head in her hands.

"You got a little too revenge-oriented," Bridgette continued. "May I ask why you hate Heather so much, anyway? It's really not healthy for your inner peace."

"I wanted to protect Gwen," Leshawna said, sounding less sure than she usually had. "I truly wanted to protect Gwen from Heather, I swear."

"So that's why you spread Gwen's private pregnancy scare with the whole world," Bridgette said, skeptical. "Doesn't that kind of make you into the person you were trying to protect Gwen against in the first place?"

"Yes, it does," Leshawna said, sounding depressed. "I swear, though, my intentions were good!"

"I believe you," Bridgette said, smiling, as she grabbed onto Leshawna's hand through the bars. "But it would be, I don't know, like if I ruined everyone's dinner that night Chef inexplicably served us hamburgers from McDonald's. It's not just about intentions."

"Wait, don't tell me you was actually thinking of ruining that dinner for everyone else, girl," Leshawna said.

"I wasn't," Bridgette said. "I would never do anything like that again."

"Again?" Leshawna thought it over for several seconds. "All right, it's just that it seemed kinda' random." Leshawna thought about it a little longer. "Why did we get real food that night, anyway?"

"I'd hardly call McDonald's real food," Bridgette said, laughing a bit. "Though I guess compared to what we usually get… I'd bet Chris was trying to work out a deal between Wendy's and the show. You know, get paid to advertise the place in the show itself."

"Makes sense," Leshawna said. "It's worth feeding us real food if it means a big fat paycheck from corporate sponsorship for Chris."

"It's a dire shame," Bridgette said, melodramatic. "Chris cares more for money than he does for making sure of our eternal misery." The two girls laughed.

* * *

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, smiling for the camera as he made grand gestures, with Katie standing behind him, looking angry. "The last time you were here, we had pretty much kidnapped Leshawna and Bridgette, and locked them away in a torture chamber of sorts that, through much legal maneuvering, and certain clauses in their contracts, we could legally get away with."

"There's something I still don't get," Katie said, confused. "If you hate me so much, why did you lock Bridgette away instead of me?"

"Oh, that," Chris said. "Lots of reasons. For one, no one likes you. And that would've thrown off the whole balance. Everyone hates Leshawna, everyone loves Bridgette… you need the yen and the young." Katie looked skeptically at Chris. "It's an ancient Chinese thing. Heather would know all about it. You can ask her in person tonight."

"I'm not going anywhere tonight," Katie said confidently.

"You see, that's another reason why Bridgette is in the box, and you aren't," Chris said, angry. "Bridgette's too smart, and she can be independent--"

"You're finally admitting that," Katie said, smirking.

"No!" Chris yelled. "That's not what I meant! I meant that she's a stupid blonde idiot who's exactly like Lindsay! Except she could probably handle the challenge by herself. You, Miss Completely Dependant, can't! And then you'll lose! And everyone will love me for it, because all the home viewers hate you!"

"No they don't!" Katie shouted.

"Sure they do!" Chris exclaimed, as he reached in his shirt for an envelope, then opened it, pulling out the letter inside. "Dear Katie, you and Sadie suck! You two are the most annoying, pathetic people on the entire planet, and you two need to die! With hate, Tammy." Chris handed the letter to Katie. "You can keep it if you want to."

Katie pushed Chris' hand away. "I'll show you! I'll save Bridgette and show you!"

"Sure," Chris said mockingly. "We'd all love to see you try to find Bridgette, then stub your toe or something and cry like a little baby! Wah! Wah!" Chris started chuckling as Katie stormed off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Noah, Sadie, Bridgette: I'm winning this for you three!

* * *

"I've had enough with girls like Heather," Leshawna said, tearing up. "They all the same."

"Heather's changed, really," Bridgette said, trying to comfort Leshawna.

"Look," Leshawna said, exasperated, "I promise that I'm gonna' try to be civil next time I see Heather. Don't mean I'm gonna' like her."

"That's a good start, really," Bridgette said cheerfully.

"It ain't goin' past there, though," Leshawna said. "We ain't never gonna' be buddy-buddy."

"That's fine," Bridgette said. "It'll be great just to have you two being civil toward each other."

"She ain't gonna' be civil to me, though," Leshawna said, sighing. "She been cruel to me since day one!"

"Well, you did throw her off that thousand foot cliff," Bridgette said.

"She wasn't jumpin' just 'cause she didn't want to get her hair wet," Leshawna said, sniffling. "How selfish could little girl be?"

"Does it matter why she wouldn't jump?" Bridgette asked. "It was still pretty mean."

"She deserved it!" Leshawna demanded. "I was tired of girls like her thinking they all that!"

"Girls like Heather?" Bridgette asked.

"Yeah. Like this one girl named Vanessa who goes out of her way whenever she sees what she calls 'ghetto trash' at what she claims is her mall, and always lyin' about us beating them up so they can get the mall cops to throw us out. Even got a restrainin' order 'gainst me! And I ain't never done nothin' to the little piece of trash!"

"That's terrible!" Bridgette said, feeling bad, trying to hug Leshawna through the bars.

Leshawna was crying as she continued. "And there was another girl--think her name was Kristie--'parently lost a valuable bracelet when she was at the fair right outside the city. I was there too with my friends, and the girl decided I looked like someone who'd steal her bracelet, so she threw a tantrum, she and her posse started beating me up, my friends tryin' to help me out, we got arrested, I got no medical attention that I needed, got real sick for a while, and wound up getting sued for thousands of dollars for that bracelet! And I ain't never even seen this girl before in my life!"

Bridgette just sat there in disbelief, crying, still holding onto Leshawna from through the bars. "That's so… I can't believe that!" Bridgette cried. "You're such a beautiful person." Bridgette paused for a moment, unsure. "I mean, you used to be, anyway. Or… no. You are. You made a huge mistake, and I know it feels awful, having Gwen hating you, and probably having everyone else hating you… I'm really sorry." Bridgette tried hugging Leshawna as best she could through the bars.

"You had a right to be mad," Leshawna said. "I hurt people. Don't feel bad about it, sugar."

Bridgette smiled. "You've got some other friends out there, still. Lindsay's such a sweet girl, and Courtney--"

"--doesn't like me," Leshawna said. "I wound up breaking her leg, tried to cheat to get her kicked off the island just to protect myself… why would she like me?"

Bridgette shrugged. "I couldn't tell you. She seemed to really have respect for you last year, though. You and I might have been the only two people, really."

Leshawna thought it over for a moment. "Well, she did trust me with the secret about Duncan finding DJ a new bunny."

"Courtney liked and respected you," Bridgette said. "She wouldn't admit it, but after I was kicked off last year, she pretty much complained about everyone, except for me and you."

"Even Duncan?" Leshawna asked, smirking, though Bridgette couldn't see it.

"Especially Duncan!" Bridgette exclaimed, giggling a bit. "I really don't get their relationship, but it works for them, so who knows!" Bridgette sighed as she started rubbing her finger against the floor, making a circle. "I wasn't always this relaxed surfer girl. I've made mistakes, too."

"You?" Leshawna asked, skeptical. "You're practically perfect, except for the whole clumsy thing. Calm, intelligent, speaking up when you need to, always there for everyone, goofy--"

"I'm not that perfect," Bridgette said, blushing, rubbing her sandal against the floor. "You know how I love the environment, care about our planet--"

"More perfection on your part," Leshawna said, again with an unseen smirk.

"I was actually pretty judgmental," Bridgette said, looking down. "I was very critical of everyone, complaining when someone would eat meat or drive a car a short distance or litter or--"

"I ain't a big fan of litterbugs either, hon," Leshawna said.

Bridgette sighed. "I didn't have many friends when I was younger. My Mom was way into helping save the planet--"

"And she taught you to be a mini psycho activist?" Leshawna asked.

"No," Bridgette said, with a bit of venom. "Please don't talk about my Mom that way."

"Oh," Leshawna said shyly. "I'm sorry. I thought that was where you were going with that."

"I'm sorry I snapped," Bridgette said, holding Leshawna's hand again. "I care deeply for Mom, though, and she's the most beautiful person anyone could ever meet." Bridgette started to roll her eyes. "And you have no idea how many times I've heard Geoff joke about that one, and how he can't wait for me to turn thirty-six. Probably should've never shown him what Mom looks like."

Leshawna chuckled a bit. "I wouldn't worry too much about that. Geoff's a little… well--"

"Dense," Bridgette finished, laughing a little herself. "It's OK. Mom's always been an incredible woman, though, and I looked up to her, and her caring ways. A little too much. I hadn't really noticed that Mom never forced her beliefs on anyone else, while I was doing it in force. Not the best way to make friends." Bridgette started smiling. "Except for one friend I had, Sarah, and her mother, Ms. Susan. Greatest people in the world!"

"Even better than me?" Leshawna asked, joking.

"Almost as awesome as Mom," Bridgette said, beaming. "Sarah was a little… well, she was really sweet, and she didn't seem to mind that I could be a little bit bossy. Really don't know how she put up with me. And Ms. Susan… well, we didn't really get off on the right foot."

"Give her a lecture on driving a hybrid or somethin'? Leshawna asked.

"Did hybrids even exist back then?" Bridgette asked. "Actually, she made a pizza, and I ruined it because it had pepperoni on it." Bridgette shook her head. "She didn't really appreciate that."

"Where does the 'greatest person in the world' part come in, again?" Leshawna asked.

"Well, Ms. Susan wasn't shy about letting Mom know what I did, and thankfully, Mom listened to her instead of yelling at her for being mean to me. A lot of moms would've done that. Ms. Susan realized how much Sarah cared about me, though, and allowed me back if I'd help her with dinner." Bridgette started laughing. "I'm not a great cook, we all learned. Ms. Susan and Mom both talked to me about what I did, and both tried to tell me that I needed to stop trying to force everyone to do what I wanted. It was slow going, but they've both just been so wonderful about it!" Bridgette started chuckling a bit more. "And I figure Geoff doesn't really need to see what Sarah and Ms. Susan look like. Probably forget all about me and Mom."

"Yeah, I think you can keep that a secret," Leshawna said, laughing, then started to look down. "I used to have a really awesome friend, too. Ridiculously rich girl named Madison. Her mama… not too nice, though. Child abuse, I'd even say."

"What happened?" Bridgette asked, concerned.

"We was best friends, and always hung out, and she always came over to my place, even though I never went over there." Leshawna started crying. "There was a reason she never invited me over, and never wanted me over."

"I… um…" Bridgette was thinking, and seemed to have an idea, but didn't want to say anything.

"I know what you're thinking, and your partly right," Leshawna said, and started speaking with venom. "I was this poor black girl, and Madison's mama didn't want no poor black girl playing with her rich white girl. Did you know they actually give ten year olds restraining orders?!"

"No," Bridgette said, crying, holding Leshawna's hands through the bars. "Do you know what happened to Madison?"

"Well, there was one time we was both at a nice restaurant, and got carted by the 'nice' policeman when it turned out the mother called them on me again. And it turned out we went to the same high school. Kind of think something happened money-wise with them, but anyway, Madison wasn't the same girl I knew. She hated me and all my friends." Leshawna started sobbing. "I really don't know what that horrible mother did to my friend, but she was soon queen of the school, and didn't really care about anyone, except making sure that every African Canadian in that school was stomped under her foot."

Bridgette seemed unsure of what to say. "I'm really sorry, Leshawna. But I actually feel bad for Madison too, there."

Leshawna smiled, though was still crying, sort of hugging Bridgette through the bars. "So do I, baby. So do I. I wish I could have my old friend back." Leshawna looked up. "Not just Madison, but Gwen too. I can't believe I did that to her."

"You can't change it," Bridgette said. "All you can do is apologize and try your hardest to make it up to her. After this, though… just wow! I don't think anyone could stay mad at you. I'm really sorry."

"So am I," Leshawna said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: (angry) I will never forgive Leshawna, there is no excuse for what she did, and there's nothing she can do to make up for it.

* * *

"Find the key on the blue rock in the forest, a half mile along the trail," Courtney said, reading from the sheet of paper Chris gave to her.

"What do you think it means?" Lindsay asked, looking over Courtney's shoulder with a confused look on her face.

"It means we need to find a blue rock, and get the key that's on the rock," Harold stated. "Are there any other clues on the paper?"

"No," Courtney said. "That's all it says. It doesn't even have directions on where to find Leshawna after we get the key."

"Maybe we don't really want to find her," Gwen said, irritated, with Trent holding her hand right beside her. "Maybe we'd rather her stay locked up and sweating."

"She was pretty mean, eh," Ezekiel said, shrugging. "Still, that's pretty cold."

"No, it's hot," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "Unbearably hot, and I'd really like to get her out before she dies in there!" Courtney looked nervous for a moment before collecting herself. "I mean, if we lost the challenge, then we'd have to vote someone off our team tonight."

"But Bridgette might get voted off," Lindsay said, smirking at Courtney. "If the other team lost, they might vote off Bridgette."

"No, in all likelihood, Katie would be voted off," Courtney said nonchalantly. "I mean, not that I have anything against Katie, and she can even be nice sometimes, but if we lost, I wouldn't want to risk getting voted off myself."

"Really don't think you'd have to worry," Gwen said. "Most of us would vote for Leshawna." Trent winked at Gwen.

Courtney rolled her eyes. "That wouldn't exactly be fair now."

"Um, what are you talking about?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well… Leshawna can't even do anything this challenge!" Courtney exclaimed. "It would be cruel to vote her off when it was our fault that we lost the challenge, when she had nothing to do with the loss, I mean," Courtney stated rapidly. Lindsay nodded beside her.

"I understand now," Gwen said, crying slightly. "Like how not fair and cruel it was when Leshawna decided to ruin my life and tell the whole world about my pregnancy scare!" Gwen then glared at Courtney. "Or when she broke your leg and conspired with Chris to get you voted off."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: By all means, I should agree with Gwen and want to see Leshawna fry. I just can't, though. As cruel as Leshawna was, she's since been so desperate to make amends, and even though she could stand to try a little harder, she's been so lonely since that incident went down. She tried to do good, it didn't work, and now she's a pariah. She has her faults, but then, we all do. (Courtney looks down.) Even me.

* * *

"You're right," Courtney said. "Still, she doesn't deserve to die."

"If Chris doesn't care, why should we?" Gwen asked.

"I'd like to believe we're better than Chris," Courtney stated.

"She had Izzy voted off," Ezekiel said. "And Lindsay had a point. Bridgette could get voted off if we save Leshawna, so maybe she should stay in there. Maybe she could sweat off some weight, eh?" Gwen and Trent laughed.

"Hey!" Lindsay shouted, angry. "That's mean!"

"And a bit sexist, Mr. Sexist," Courtney said threateningly.

"That wasn't sexist, eh?" Ezekiel said, a bit confused. "It was weightist, maybe?"

"It was fine, Zeke," Gwen said, smiling. "Besides, Bridgette'll be voted off if we rescue Leshawna."

"That'd be terrible!" Ezekiel exclaimed, nervous.

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Well, fine! If you guys aren't going to help, then Lindsay, Tyler, and I will go alone! Anyone who wishes to help is more than welcome!"

Harold sighed. "I'll go too."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: I know what Leshawna did was pure evil, and I know I should be supportive of Heather and not help, but Leshawna's still the most beautiful woman in the world! (Harold starts sobbing.) Why, Leshawna, why?!

* * *

"Really don't want you, Mr. Cheating Lindsay Hater," Courtney said, irritated.

"I'm not going to bother Lindsay, OK?" Harold said. "I'm trying to be nice, even if she did something really cruel."

Courtney slapped her face. "That wasn't Lindsay. That was Autumn. They're not the same person."

"Yeah," Lindsay said, concerned. "Are you even sure Autumn did that mean stuff to--"

"**Yes!**" Harold yelled, startling Lindsay, leaving her crying. Harold sighed. "I'm sorry for getting angry, but yes, I should think that I know what Autumn did, seeing as how she did it to me."

"Yeah," Tyler said, putting a mean look on his face. "You'd better not do that to Lindsay again!"

"Or what?" Harold asked, getting into a karate pose, as Tyler raised his fists.

"Please don't fight," Lindsay said meekly.

"Yes," Courtney stated, irritated. "I'm not even really sure which of you two would win."

"I would!" Tyler and Harold shouted simultaneously. Courtney just rolled her eyes.

"Please stop fighting guys," Lindsay said, sad. "We really need to help Leshawna."

"Right, stop fighting guys," Courtney said, frustrated, as she walked toward the trail leading into the forest. Lindsay, Harold, and Tyler followed her.

"Good luck," Gwen said, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: It was pretty clear that Tyler and Harold were going to start going at each others' throats like Neanderthals, so we really needed to head off quickly. I mean, besides, Katie could have snuck in a victory if we didn't hustle!

Lindsay: I hate to see Courtney and Tyler fighting with Harold. Tyler's just a guy who feels he needs to fight to defend my honor, and Courtney… well, she gets cranky easy.

* * *

"Wait," Trent said, confused. "You actually want them to save Leshawna?"

"No," Gwen said. "I was just wishing Courtney luck that she'd get through the challenge without losing her mind. Lindsay, Tyler, Harold… I'd go nuts."

"Won't happen here though, babe," Trent said, smiling, as he pulled Gwen close, and the two started kissing. Cody smiled, then started walking away, but Ezekiel just stared.

"You two really like kissing, eh?" Ezekiel asked, earning him glares from Gwen and Trent.

Cody slapped his own face, then went back to pull Ezekiel away. "They'd like some alone time," Cody said, dragging Ezekiel away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: I doon't really understand why people would kiss in public if they didn't want other people to watch them, eh?

* * *

"Climb to the top of the four hundred sixty-fifth tree in the forest to find your next clue," Katie said aloud, reading the paper Chris handed to her, scratching her head as she walked on the trail in the woods. "Where exactly am I supposed to start counting? Maybe I should sit down and think." Katie sat down on a large blue rock, and immediately shot back up when something poked her butt. Katie looked at the rock suspiciously, then noticed a key on the rock, and a sheet of paper under the key. "How'd I miss you?" Katie noticed the piece of paper had a map. Katie looked at the map, then followed to where it led.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I didn't really think I was supposed to find the key and map right there, but I didn't really have any other idea what to do, so…

* * *

Katie saw a large metal box in a clearing in the woods, likely to make sure it got plenty of direct sunlight, she figured. She rushed up to the box, and saw a couple of doors, one on each side. One marked "Leshawna," and the other marked "Bridgette." Katie went over to the door marked "Bridgette," but the key didn't work. Katie pounded on the door, but didn't hear a response. "**Are you two OK?!**" Katie screamed, but got no answer.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I was about to do something really, really possibly stupid. Izzy, I desperately need your help, if you're watching!

* * *

Katie hurried over to the door marked "Leshawna" and tried to fit the key in the lock, which worked, and the door opened. "Bridgette? Leshawna? Are you two OK?" Katie cried out, and was immediately glomped by Leshawna.

"Thank you thank you thank you so much!" Leshawna exclaimed, lifting Katie in the air, then putting her back down. "Be right back, gotta' go now!" Leshawna rushed behind a tree, leaving Katie a bit dazed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: OK, is that what it feels like when I glomp other people? That was a little weird, I admit, but it was actually kinda' nice. Not sure why so many other people don't like that.

Leshawna: You know, as grateful as I was that Katie freed me, I really, really hope her team doesn't lose because of her selfless act there. I mean, saving the person who wasn't on her team, and she didn't even really like? (Leshawna looks guilty.)

* * *

Katie opened the door wide and entered, letting in some light, as she saw Bridgette, sweating like crazy, looking like she was dying. "Bridgette, are you OK?" Katie fanned her nose. "It kinda' stinks in here."

"I'm not really feeling good," Bridgette said, exhausted. "Temperature's awful in here."

"I think I found the key that the other team was supposed to find," Katie said, looking guilty, and talking rapidly. "And I know how mean Leshawna is, and I know you don't like her either, and I know I might have cost our team the win, and I'd feel really really bad if I did that, but I couldn't just let Leshawna die maybe if I had the key that could free her."

"You did good," Bridgette said, smiling. "And Leshawna really deserves another chance. I know, I know, but we gave you another chance, most of us gave Heather another chance… it's Leshawna's turn now."

"Thank you Katie!" Leshawna exclaimed, rushing up to glomp Katie again, then Leshawna composed herself. "I can't tell you how much it means that you gave up invincibility to help me!"

"Maybe not," Katie said, smirking. "I mean, you're being so awesome now, and Bridgette says I should give you another chance, so I hope you don't get voted off, but I think I know of a loophole in this challenge that will work in my favor! And Bridgette's favor too, really. But first, I need to find the key to get Bridgette out." Katie handed Leshawna her sheet of paper. "Do you have any idea what the four hundred sixth-fifth tree here is?"

Leshawna scratched her head while looking at the sheet of paper. "No idea. Guess I'll be climbing a lot of trees, though. You stay here and keep Bridgette company. I'll find the key for you."

"Thanks," Katie said, beaming, glomping Leshawna this time, who hugged back.

"Leshawna?" Bridgette asked weakly, "could I tell Katie the stuff you told me about those girls?"

"That'd be good," Leshawna said. "I'd really rather tell her myself, though."

"Tell her what?" Katie asked, confused.

"The most horrible childhood I can imagine," Bridgette said teasingly.

"Really wasn't that bad," Leshawna said, smiling. "Had its ups and downs."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Madison, if you're watching, I really miss you, girl!

* * *

"What do you think Chris meant by 'on the blue rock' exactly?" Lindsay asked, looking suspiciously at the large blue rock. "Maybe he meant under it instead?"

"Maybe there's another blue rock?" Harold asked.

"It's an artificial blue-painted rock!" Courtney shouted. "Half a mile from the start of the trail! How many other fake blue rocks can there be?!"

"It's Chris!" Harold shouted. "Who knows how many he planted here! Gosh!"

"Well I certainly didn't see any others!" Courtney shouted back.

"Is this blue?" Lindsay asked, looking at a large grey rock.

"That's grey, babe," Tyler said, putting his arm around Lindsay as the two started kissing.

"Maybe we didn't walk a half a mile yet?" Harold asked. "Maybe the blue rock is down a little farther."

"The blue rock is right here!" Courtney shouted. "We're obviously overlooking some small detail. We just need to look harder, people!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Why would Chris put the key in a place so obvious that the wrong team would find it first?!

Chris: (angry) Bad, bad planning on my part.

* * *

"Hey guys!" Leshawna exclaimed as she ran up to Courtney and glomped her.

"Hey! Don't--" Courtney started, but quickly relaxed, smiled, and hugged back. "I'm really glad you're OK."

"Leshawna!" Lindsay exclaimed, rushing up to hug her. "I was worried about you!"

Leshawna smiled and hugged back. "You actually got my name right!"

"I did?" Lindsay asked, a little confused, but just continued smiling brightly. "You have a weird, tough name, too. It's pretty, though. Leshawna. I really like L names."

"Like Lindsay, huh?" Leshawna asked, smirking.

"That's a pretty name too!" Lindsay exclaimed.

Leshawna giggled a bit. "That's your name, hon."

Lindsay looked confused for a moment, then composed herself. "I--I knew that!" Lindsay smiled confidently.

"Well I'm not happy to see her," Harold said, angry. "Tormenting my beautiful Heather for your own selfish reasons."

"Not selfish reasons… well, not all selfish reasons," Leshawna said, guilty. "OK, I was jellin', but I'm not gonna' get between you and Heather, OK? I made a mistake when I dumped you, and now I just have to accept that you moved on."

"Assuming, of course, that you can resist my mad charms," Harold said, smirking.

Leshawna giggled, waving a hand dismissively to Harold. "Don't think that'll be a problem, baby."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: Leshawna's fairly cocky. No woman can resist my manly charms. (Harold weakly poses for the camera.)

* * *

Katie tried hugging Bridgette through the bars, and Bridgette tried hugging Katie back, with Katie crying. "You really are a lot nicer now. I wish I could meet you Mom and your friends. I really can't believe how patient they were with you."

"I got really lucky there," Bridgette said, smiling. "It's really incredible that Ms. Susan never gave up on me."

"She's a good person," Katie said smiling, as Izzy came through the door with a large box.

"Looks like it's gonna' be another scorcher!" Izzy exclaimed, as she turned on the air conditioner she was holding, placing it facing Bridgette. "I may not be allowed to let you out--stupid Chris' lawyers--but I am allowed to help you, well, not die in here."

"Thanks Izzy," Bridgette said, smiling. "I'd hug you if I could."

"Oh, you can!" Izzy exclaimed, and contorted her body to squeeze through the bars, and hug Bridgette, and Bridgette hugged back.

"Aww," Katie said, smiling. "I wish I could get through the bars like that."

"I could help you!" Izzy beamed, as she grabbed Katie's hand.

"No no no no no!" Katie screamed. "That's… OK, really." Katie smiled, worried.

"Oh, I don't blame you," Izzy said, holding her nose. "Really stinks over here."

"There's no bathroom," Bridgette said, irritated.

"Well don't worry," Izzy said, smiling. "Leshawna's looking high and low for the key which I am unfortunately not allowed to tell you guys where it is. And I don't know where it is, actually." Izzy put her finger on her chin, tapping it. "Maybe I should've checked to see where he actually put the thing."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: (bruised and beaten) Seriously, this was insane! I got lucky and only had to climb thirty-one trees before I found the next clue--still have **no **idea what made it the four hundred sixty-fifth--which led me to the mouth of that stupid alligator, which had a clue leading me climbing up that thousand foot cliff, to find the final clue which led me to the cave of the Sasquatchanakwa, and after battling with that, I finally--**finally** got the key! Thank God that's over! And for all that work, I really, really hope I'm not voted off tonight, 'cause damn it, I really don't deserve that! I'm a good person, I swear!

* * *

Leshawna limped into the hot box, bruised and beaten, before collapsing, and holding up the key. "Good luck, Katie," Leshawna said weakly.

Katie was jumping up and down excitedly as she snatched the key, ran out the box to get to Bridgette's door, and it opened. "You're free!" Katie exclaimed, dragging Bridgette out of the box, squeezing her tight.

"Katie, my body really can't take this now," Bridgette said. Katie let Bridgette go, and she collapsed to the ground. "You can squeeze me later, OK? I could really use a glass of water, though."

"Water!" Izzy exclaimed, as she rushed off. A few seconds later, she returned with a large cup of water. "Drink up, Bridgey!"

Bridgette took the cup and quickly started drinking. "Thank you."

"What is your plan anyway?" Leshawna asked, concerned. "I mean, you freed me before you freed Bridgette--still can't thank you enough for that--but I hope that doesn't get you in trouble."

"Oh, I intend to use one of Chris' infamous loopholes against him," Katie said, grinning deviously. "Izzy, can you get a tape, just in case he demands proof? Because I have this feeling he isn't going to take this one lying down."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: You know, I'm so happy that Katie caught that! That was so… well, sneaky. So… something Chris would love to use against us if he felt like it! I love it! (Izzy holds up a tape.) Katie, you're gonna' win this challenge!

Courtney: So it turned out that the key was on that blue rock we saw, and that Katie took it. (Courtney rubs her forehead.) Seriously, why would Chris put it in such an obvious place where Katie was almost as likely to find it as we were if he wanted our team to win?

Chris: (angry) It was a mistake, all right? Geez! With all that forgiveness talk going on, you'd think you could forgive me for one little mistake!

* * *

Chris was standing before the eleven campers, with Gwen, Trent, and Cody all glaring at Leshawna, and Izzy, all gathered in front of the cabins. "Izzy, you don't belong here," Chris said.

"I think I do," Izzy said, smiling innocently.

"OK, but don't interrupt me," Chris said, irritated, rubbing his forehead. "Anyway, as you all know, that while Katie was the first one to free one of you guys, she freed the wrong person. She freed the locked up Screaming Pansy member, and as such, due to Katie's unfortunate oversight, the Screaming Pansies have won!"

"Yay!" Ezekiel cheered, but then looked confused by the disgusted looks from Gwen, Trent, and Cody, worried look from Courtney, and scary grins from Katie, Bridgette, Leshawna, and Izzy. "Um, did I miss something, eh?"

"I'm sorry, Chris, but the Killer Chrises are the true winners of this challenge," Katie stated confidently, with a smirk on her face.

"Uh, what are you talking about?" Chris asked. "You freed Leshawna first. She's a Screaming Pansy. Therefore, their team won, and your team lost. Now if you'd just--"

"I don't think so," Katie said, grinning deviously as she approached Chris, making him uncomfortable. "You said, and I quote, 'the team who rescues their teammate will be safe,' end quote."

"Yeah, and you rescued **their **teammate," Chris said, angry. "Now get lost!"

"Exactly. I rescued **their **teammate. Their team did not rescue their teammate. My team was the only team for which the team rescued their teammate. Therefore, by your own rules, the team that should be safe should be the Killer Chrises!"

"No no **no!**" Chris screamed, stomping his foot repeatedly, whining like a toddler. "I didn't say that! I meant that--"

"Doesn't matter what you meant, it matters what you said," Izzy said, with the same devious grin Katie was wearing. "And I can prove that you said it." Izzy was holding up a videotape, waving it as she walked in front of Chris.

Chris, nervous, snatched the videotape, and smashed it with his foot. "Oops. Sorry. No proof, I guess."

Izzy snatched several more videotapes from her skirt. "Lawyers aren't the only ones who make lots of copies." Chris slapped his face.

"Um, eww," Courtney went, looking disgusted with the panty tapes.

"Look," Izzy said casually. "It's your own rule. You have lawyers, I have lawyers… why don't we just do what's fair and declare the Killer Chrises the winners here?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Chris has some potty mouth, let me tell you! Since, you know, they're not going to air that little tirade. Or if they do air it, they'll probably replace it with something like Chris calling me a "no good, selfish, heartless, pushy, bossy, mean, bully of a girl." (Katie chuckles for a moment.) Yes, I saw that stupid edit too with Lindsay last year. (Katie shakes her head disapprovingly.) Poor American audience.

* * *

"**Fine!**" Chris screamed. "Killer Chrises win! Happy?!"

"Yes," Katie, Bridgette, and Izzy all answered simultaneously.

"It's not fair it's not fair it's **not fair!**" Chris screamed. "Still, Screaming Pansies, fair or not, one of you has to leave us tonight."

"Leshawna," Gwen quickly answered. "Leshawna has to leave tonight."

"I'm really sorry, Gwen," Leshawna said, looking guilty.

"Sorry?! Sorry?!" Gwen screamed, flailing her arms through the air. "You ruin my life, try to become the person Heather used to be, and all you can say is sorry?!"

"I wish I knew what I could do to make it up to you," Leshawna said, tearing up a bit.

"Nothing!" Gwen yelled, angry. "There's nothing you can do!"

Courtney looked nervous, but spoke up. "Gwen, I really believe Leshawna's sincere in her apology. She deserves--"

"Nothing! She deserves nothing but to get voted off and be locked away like some criminal! **That's **what she deserves!"

Lindsay gulped, then innocently spoke up. "Greta, maybe you and Leshawna could talk things out. She's really not that mean."

"You got Leshawna's name right and not mine?!" Gwen screamed. "She's evil!"

"No she's not," Bridgette said, trying to comfort Gwen, walking up and putting her hand on Gwen's shoulder. "She made a horrible mistake, just like I did."

"Doesn't compare," Gwen grumbled.

"Or a mistake like Heather made."

"Except Heather wasn't pretending to be my friend," Gwen said, irritated. "Look, Bridgette, I'm really glad you're trying to look out for me here, but I really don't need friends like her. I'll be fine, OK?"

Bridgette looked nervous, and started rubbing her sandal against the ground. "Just try to be civil with her, OK?"

Gwen sighed. "I guess I can try to be civil to some minuscule extent." Bridgette smiled as she and Gwen hugged.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: I can be civil until Leshawna's voted out tonight, after all. There's no way she's going to be staying after tonight.

Harold: I'm trying to be nice to Lindsay, Heather, I swear. Courtney's still mean and bossy, though, and I want her gone.

Trent: Leshawna. She hurt my Gwen, and we don't want people like that around here.

Courtney: Leshawna's a good person, and… well, maybe even kind of my friend. (Courtney looks embarrassed.) For some reason, despite that I want to stay mad at her, I'm having trouble with that. Of course, it's really hard to find someone to vote off… Ezekiel seems like a lone wolf, almost. No one would really miss him if he were gone. Except Bridgette, but she'd miss everyone, so… argh! It's hard, but I really have to vote for Ezekiel.

Cody: I still can't believe what Leshawna did to Gwen! She really needs to go!

Lindsay: Easy Keel? I forgot exactly who Courtney said I was supposed to vote for… Easy Keel… oh! Easykiel! Duh! (Lindsay hits the side of her head with her palm.)

* * *

"Campers," Chris said, irritated, "despite my best efforts, you guys have lost. You can thank Izzy and Katie and stupid loopholes. If you wish to beat Katie up after the ceremony, you should feel free. She does deserve it, after all, since she pretty much cheated to win today's challenge."

"I thought it was pretty clever, myself," Courtney stated.

"Regardless, there are nine of you, but only eight marshmallows on this plate. If you receive a marshmallow, you get to stay on this luxury resort of an island."

"You're kidding, right?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

Chris ignored her. "But if you do not receive a marshmallow, then you must leave the island, walking the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back. **Ever!**"

"The same way I never came back?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow again.

"It's different this time," Chris said, irritated. "This time I mean it! Izzy can confirm if she pops up tonight, since she seems to enjoy snooping through the show's itinerary."

"He's right, you know!" Izzy exclaimed, popping out from behind Chris' back, startling him for a moment.

"Don't **do **that!" Chris shouted, angry.

"Chris truly has no plans to bring anyone else back. But I do! And the law firm of Fleckman, Fleckman, Cohen, and Grouse would like to speak with you about that," Izzy said, handing Chris an envelope. "By the way, Courtney, your lawyer is a miracle worker, let me tell you!" Courtney blushed as Izzy ran off, screaming into the night, with Chris holding his ears, and the campers laughing at him.

Chris opened the envelope, took out the letter, read for a few seconds, then threw it away. "I'll have my lawyers read it later. Too many words for me. Regardless of that, however, one of you will be leaving us tonight. But that person will not be Lindsay." Chris threw a marshmallow to Lindsay, which bounced off her head, as she was too busy playing with her hair to pay attention. Chris continued throwing marshmallows to the campers as he continued calling out their names.

"Tyler."

"Gwen."

"Trent."

"Cody."

"Harold."

"Courtney."

Leshawna and Ezekiel were remaining, both looking nervous, both staring longingly at the final marshmallow on Chris' plate. "Leshawna. Ezekiel. One of you will get this final marshmallow, and be safe for tonight. The other will not, and must immediately walk the Dock of Shame and leave the island. And this final marshmallow of the night goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Leshawna." Chris threw Leshawna her marshmallow, and she looked majorly relieved, and hugged Courtney and Lindsay tightly. Trent, Gwen, and Cody glared angrily. "There was another tie tonight, Katie broke the tie, and for some reason I don't understand, picked Leshawna to stay over Ezekiel." Chris shrugged. "Go figure."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: What the hell was that?! We had her! We had Leshawna out of here, and apparently she has some sort of evil alliance against me?! How **dare **she recruit Lindsay and Courtney for her nefarious deeds, and how dare Courtney accept her alliance! I mean, Lindsay's an idiot, and she'll fall for anything, but Courtney has to be doing it to spite me! I swear, Courtney, I'm not stealing Duncan away from you!

Trent: That definitely wasn't right. How could Courtney and Lindsay betray Gwen like that? (Trent thinks about it for a moment.) OK, probably a stupid question to ask how Lindsay could betray Gwen. I mean, she's Lindsay.

Cody: How could Katie pick Leshawna over Ezekiel? Katie knows how despicable Leshawna is… something wasn't adding up here.

Courtney: I felt a little bad… I know Bridgette and Ezekiel get along, but I really wasn't sure who else to target. I certainly wasn't going to let Leshawna leave us tonight. I am really happy for Bridgette's sake that Katie had some forethought on this unfortunate situation, though.

* * *

"Zeke!" Bridgette exclaimed, rushing from behind a bush to hug Ezekiel, except she wound up tripping again, just missing the fire.

"That was close, eh?" Ezekiel asked, chuckling a bit. "I really doon't understand why Leshawna didn't lose tonight. She was pretty mean, eh?"

"She was," Bridgette said, hugging Ezekiel. "But you deserved another chance, and she does too. Leshawna's a wonderful person." Leshawna started tearing up again.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: OK, I be gettin' way too sentimental lately. Leshawna don't cry, and for someone who don't cry, I be cryin' way too much lately.

* * *

Courtney sighed, then stood up beside Ezekiel. "Look, Zeke is it they call you?"

"Yup," Ezekiel said, nodding his head.

Courtney put her hand on Ezekiel's shoulder. "Look, Zeke--still feel a bit uncomfortable calling you that--but I want you to know that you really have gotten a lot better this year, and that I'm not mad at you or anything, and I forgive you for the whole sexist comments thing that saved my own butt last season."

"And I forgive you for being so mean and bossy last year," Ezekiel said, hugging Courtney, who was twitching her eye.

"Yes," Courtney said, looking uncomfortable.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (irritated) I don't exactly remember doing anything to Ezekiel that **I **needed to be forgiven for.

* * *

Ezekiel was on the Boat of Losers, as Bridgette and Leshawna were waving goodbye to Ezekiel. "I hope you're not too disappointed!" Bridgette shouted.

"It's OK," Ezekiel said back, waving back

"I'm sorry too, hon!" Leshawna shouted.

"Um, OK," Ezekiel said, unsure of how to respond.

"So the Killer Chrises won," Chris said, appearing behind Leshawna and Bridgette, disgusted. "Thanks to an incredibly lame loophole, the Killer Chrises won. And they think **I **cheat. Regardless, against my will, Katie is still around, and Ezekiel is not." Chris shrugged. "Though frankly, I didn't really care too much about him one way or the other."

"Ezekiel was sweet!" Bridgette shouted, irritated, glaring at Chris.

"Ezekiel was boring!" Chris snapped back. "Point is, regardless of personal feelings, Ezekiel is gone. And we are now down to ten again. Who will be the next victim of the island? Who will be the next one to leave? I know who I'd **like **to see leave, but seriously, there's only so much I can do to reach that goal. Will I finally succeed for the next elimination ceremony? Find out next time on _Total Drama--"_

Leshawna was about to muffle Chris, except Chris, expecting this, quickly whipped a fire extinguisher from his shirt, and shot straight at Leshawna and Bridgette, knocking them off the dock and into the lake. "Ahem," Chris continued. _"Chris." _Chris knelt down to get a closer look into the lake, smirking as Leshawna and Bridgette's heads popped out from beneath the surface. "I came prepared this time, guys, ha ha!"

Leshawna spat water at Chris. "It's on now, boy!" Chris ran off, disgusted, as Leshawna and Bridgette high-fived each other.

* * *

Ezekiel was looking over the edge of the Boat of Losers as it was taking him to the Playa' des Losers, looking a bit disappointed, but then was surprised when something tapped him on the shoulder. Ezekiel turned around and was immediately grabbed by Izzy, giving him a large smooch on the lips. She then looked lovingly at Ezekiel, trying to look seductive.

"Hello there, stranger," Izzy said, trying to sound seductive as well. "How about we get down on the floor and do some… naughty things," Izzy said, emphasizing the word "naughty." Ezekiel, with a nosebleed, nodded, as the two started making out on the floor of the boat.

* * *

Courtney, Lindsay, Leshawna, and Gwen were fast asleep in their cabin… well, except for Gwen. After everyone else seemed to be asleep, Gwen snuck out of the room. A few minutes later, she returned with Trent and one of the tranquilizer guns Chris seemed to keep lying around the island, and shot Leshawna with it. Gwen and Trent carried Leshawna outside, and over to the hot box in the clearing in the forest, where they put her to rest, and closed the doors, with Leshawna still fast asleep.

* * *

**Votes**

Cody: Leshawna  
Courtney: Ezekiel  
Ezekiel: Leshawna  
Gwen: Leshawna  
Harold: Courtney  
Leshawna: Ezekiel  
Lindsay: Easykiel  
Trent: Leshawna  
Tyler: Ezekiel  
Tiebreaker (Katie): Ezekiel

Ezekiel: 4 (5)  
Leshawna: 4  
Courtney: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Heather, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel

Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Katie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Gwen, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Trent, Tyler

* * *

Yeah… I'm sorry guys. Ezekiel's gone. He's had his fun, but now it's time for him to go bye-bye. We'll still see Zeke, but for now, he's gone.

That was a fun couple of chapters to write… and Leshawna's trials don't appear to be over quite yet, either. Gwen's still mad, and still wants her revenge.


	31. Day 15, Part 1: Why Chris Is My Place

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 31: Day 15: Part 1: That's Why Chris Is My Place**

_Leshawna had just gotten off a bus to her school. It was her first day of high school, and she was excited for the new experience._

"_You really need to see perform," Jasmine said, smiling as she was walking down the hallway alongside Leshawna, who looked a bit worn. "I make for the best Juliet the world has ever seen! Oh Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? It's such a romantic play. I mean, I know it's not supposed to be romantic, and it's really about two people who really don't belong together and just had a stupid crush that wound up killing them prematurely in the end, but still, it's just sooo romantic, and I love the old-fashioned words, like 'wherefore.' Did you know that wherefore doesn't mean where?"_

_Leshawna rolled her eyes, sighing in exasperation. "It means 'why.'"_

"_Wow," Jasmine said, impressed. "I can't believe all the people who already knew what that word meant. I thought for sure I'd impress everyone by telling them what 'wherefore' really means."_

"_I'd be more impressed if you hadn't already told me four times today," Leshawna said, cracking a smile. "How many times are you going to tell me about the play? I saw it, remember?"_

"_Yes, yes, I know, my dear Leshawna, but you merely watched from the peanut gallery. I, on the other hand, truly got to experience the play. Nay, experience Juliet." Jasmine started making grand gestures as she continued. "The __**experiences**__ of Juliet. Her __**motivations**__. I truly became one with Juliet "_

"_It's kinda' freaky when you do that," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow. "Speaking overly dramatic, the weird ass hand signals--"_

"_It's for my audience," Jasmine said straightly. "I always have to be 'on' for my fans, after all." Jasmine whipped out a pen from her pocket. "Always ready to sign autographs for my legions of fans."_

"_More like legion of losers," Madison said, standing nearby, motioning an L on her forehead, standing along with two friends of hers. "Yak yak yak, is that all you ever do?"_

"_And already I have my haters," Jasmine said nonchalantly. "They're jealous, of course. The media is always trying to tear their biggest stars down."_

"_Hon, don't be gettin' a big head now," Leshawna said, smirking at Jasmine, then glared at Madison._

"_Or a big butt. Whoops. Too late," Madison said mockingly, then laughed. The two other girls laughed with her._

"_Now you be askin' for it!" Leshawna shouted, readying her fist._

_Jasmine looked worried and spoke up. "Leshawna, As wonderful as the drama for a catfight would be--"_

"_Leshawna?" Madison asked, in shock for a moment, then snapped out of it and took a closer look, and then started to look furious. "You bitch!" she shrieked as she lunged for Leshawna, and started pummeling on her._

"_Break it up! Break it up! What's going on here?!" an angry teacher yelled, physically lifting both Madison and Leshawna. "White girl! What's this ugly thing doin' to you?!"_

"_She attacked me, Mister!" Madison said, looking frightened. "I was just minding my own business, when this girl just kept punching and kicking me! I was only trying to defend myself, honest!"_

"_Don't worry," the teacher said, releasing Madison and glaring at Leshawna. "We have ways of dealing with these trouble makers." The teacher then pointed to Jasmine, gulping. "This one in on it too?"_

"_Don't you dare involve her!" Leshawna screamed._

"_None of your business!" the teacher screamed into Leshawna's ear._

"_Actually, I don't know that girl," Madison stated._

_The teacher sighed. "Look, I don't care if you know that one or not, I just want you to tell me that she was assaulting you, too."_

"_Oh, she wasn't," Madison stated. "It was just… __**Leshawna**__." Madison seemed to have trouble getting that name out._

"_I assure you, Miss, that Lanisha will be dealt with appropriately," the teacher stated coldly. Leshawna looked in fear, and Jasmine looked worried for her friend. The teacher then grabbed Jasmine. "You're still in trouble for not helping break up the fight."_

"_How was I supposed to do that?!" Jasmine cried out._

"_Don't care!" the teacher shouted, dragging Jasmine and Leshawna away. Madison's friends started cracking jokes._

* * *

Leshawna woke abruptly, a bit shaken from the dream, and realized she needed to use the bathroom. Almost immediately, though, she realized she was once again in the hot box she'd spent the previous challenge in. "Hello?" Leshawna called out, scared. "Is anyone there?! Can someone help me?!" Leshawna looked around, not that it did any good, since she couldn't see anything. "Hell--" Leshawna started, but slipped in a puddle. A rather smelly puddle. "Hell no!" _Guess this was Bridgette's side. _Leshawna sat down, away from the puddle, holding her knees together, shivering. _Please help me, God._

* * *

_Heather was giving Gwen a non-goth makeover, in a fuzzy void, standing before a dresser and mirror. "How do you like it?" Heather asked, smiling brightly._

"_I love it!" Gwen exclaimed, beaming, looking at her blonde hair, tanned complexion, tank top, short shorts, and heels. "I don't know why I've been dressing like a goth all those years. So depressing."_

"_There was nothing wrong with it," Heather said. "We're not all fashion-conscious, and fighting with you doesn't help you realize it."_

"_Please let me out!" Leshawna's voice pleaded, coming from inside the dresser._

"_Leshawna?" Heather asked, confused._

"_Payback for what you did to us!" Gwen said, sounding sinister. "It's time you paid for that."_

"_You deserve it," Heather stated coldly. "I mean, I can admit that I deserved some of what I got last year. Why don't you just admit that maybe you deserve it too?"_

"_You're right, I do deserve it," Leshawna said, sounding sad. "I'm really sorry though, guys. I really screwed up with Gwen, and I'm sorry." Leshawna paused for a moment. "You too, Heather. Still don't trust you, but what I did to you was still wrong, and I'm sorry I did that."_

_Heather looked confused, though Gwen grew angry. "Liar! I can't believe--I can't believe--__**urgh!**__" Gwen screamed."_

* * *

Heather shot straight up from a sound sleep in her bed at the Playa' des Losers, looking around nervously for a bit before falling back to sleep.

* * *

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, dressed as Ronald McDonald, yellow jumpsuit, red shoes and wig, white makeup and all, though still making grand gestures as he spoke excitedly. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _we had Leshawna and Bridgette locked away in hot boxes. Turns out there are legal loopholes for game shows in events of possible death." Chris gave a thumbs up. "Penalties aren't nearly as severe as you might imagine. And…" Chris trailed off as he realized Ezekiel was standing right behind him, snickering, and Chris turned around in disgust. "What are you doing here exactly?"

Ezekiel looked confused, and holding in laughter. "I doon't really know, eh? Izzy just told me that we're supposed to correct you during these start-of-show recaps."

"Izzy," Chris said, irritated. "You're not Izzy. Why are you here?"

"Izzy wanted company, eh," Ezekiel said, still a bit confused.

"Just thought it'd be more fun to do this with my Zeke here!" Izzy exclaimed as she jumped out from the water onto the dock, and laid a nice kiss on Ezekiel's cheek. "And it wasn't legal. You just figured your lawyers could get you out of a mess if someone died."

"And they could have," Chris stated, irritated, rubbing his forehead.

"Why are you dressed as Ronald McDonald, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"You mean you actually know who that is?" Chris asked, a bit surprised. "I thought you never went out."

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Um, duh. Everyone knows who he is." Izzy narrowed her eyes toward Chris. "He's more popular than you'll ever be."

Chris shoved Izzy away, angry. "Not true! And I'm dressed like Ronald McDonald, home of the Big Mac, for a very good reason!" Chris exclaimed, as he took out a Big Mac, and started eating it. "Delicious!"

"Chris is scaring me," Ezekiel said, backing away slowly.

Izzy nodded. "He is scary, but the behavior you are witnessing is something we teenagers in da' hood call 'selling out.'"

"Product placement!" Chris insisted, irritated. "All the cool dogs want to eat with the Maclainemeister eats!"

Izzy rolled her eyes. "You're Ronald McDonald! The only viewers you're going to convince to eat that stuff dressed like that are Owen's fans!"

"And they'll beg their parents to take them there to eat, and their parents have lots and lots of money!" Chris exclaimed, beaming.

"Fake cough sell-out fake cough!" Izzy exclaimed, smiling brightly as she swayed a bit.

Ezekiel scratched his head through his tuque. "I don't get it, eh?"

Chris grumbled before continuing. "Anyway, this loser was voted off. And--oof!" Izzy jump-kicked Chris in the gut, knocking the air out of him. Chris clutched his stomach.

"Don't call him a loser," Izzy stated, more serious than usual.

Chris continued on, in pain. "Ezekiel was voted off, since Katie cheated with her challenge." Chris quickly guarded his body in fear, as Izzy glared at him. "Who will be leaving us tonight, though? Find out, coming up now on _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris exclaimed, as he was running off before Izzy could stop him from finishing the title.

Izzy snapped her fingers in disgust, then glomped Ezekiel. "We'll get him next time, don't you worry, yes we will, oh yes we will!" Izzy exclaimed in mock baby talk.

* * *

Harold was asleep in his bed, with someone lying next to him: Chef, wearing a crown instead of his usual chef's hat. Chef was holding an egg McMuffin in his hand, moving it back and forth under Harold's nose, until he woke up. Harold slowly woke up and put on his glasses, and freaked out, screaming and leaping out of bed, when he saw Chef in bed next to him.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Harold shouted, waking up his cabin mates..

"Chris said it'd be funny for you to wake up with the Chef!" Chef barked. "Say it worked, too."

"Quiet Harold!" Courtney yelled from her room. "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

"Idiot!" Harold shouted.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Who don't wanna' wake up with the Chef?

Harold: Seriously, it turns out that really is creepy.

Courtney: I could kill Harold for waking me up from my precious sleep!

Lindsay: I wish Courtney could get mad quieter. She woke me up this morning with her yelly-ness. I need my beauty sleep, since I am so beautiful, after all. I don't want my beautiful-ness to go away!

* * *

"You're doing fine!" Bridgette exclaimed, as Katie was trying to balance on Bridgette's surfboard, somewhat successfully. "Sadie's going to be proud!" Katie gave a thumbs up before falling off the board.

"Bridgette, have you seen Leshawna around?" Courtney asked, as she quickly walked over to Bridgette. "She was already up before Harold **rudely **woke us up, and I can't find her."

"Maybe Chris locked her back up in that torture chamber," Bridgette said, chuckling a bit, but stopped when she saw a disgusted look on Courtney's face. "OK, seriously, I'm pretty sure Chris wouldn't do that."

"Chris loves to press his luck with breaking attempted murder laws," Courtney stated nonchalantly.

"He wouldn't use the same challenge back-to-back though," Bridgette said. "Bad for ratings, I'd imagine."

Courtney put a finger on her chin, looking thoughtful. "You're probably right. Still, I'm worried about what might have happened. Do you think she could have fallen into that hole?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Everyone's been doing it! (Bridgette chuckles to herself.) OK, that was bad, but I had to get that out, and I didn't think Courtney was in the mood to hear it.

* * *

"Bridgette!" Katie exclaimed, waving her hands frantically while standing on Bridgette's board. "Look! Look!"

"I'm surprised you seem so worried about Leshawna," Bridgette said, looking up at Courtney. "I mean, after everything she's done, and everything she's done to you, specifically."

"She's a very good teammate," Courtney stated, holding up a hand. "It would be foolish to relieve ourselves of her now."

"So she can whip you all after the merge?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

Courtney put her hand on Bridgette's shoulder, looking worried. "There may not even be a merge. It's Chris, so we don't really know. It's not really good for you and Katie, either, but I really wouldn't be surprised."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I don't really actively want to see Katie lose, but someone has to leave, so it might as well be Katie. Except that would leave Bridgette all by herself on her team if we don't merge soon! (Courtney looks around the outhouse nervously.) I mean, of course I only care that I win in the end, but if I had to lose, hypothetically, I'm sure Bridgette would donate some of her money to a worthy cause, so I think I could eventually get over it. Not that I'm going to lose, I mean. And not that I want Lindsay to lose either, but… (Courtney goes wide-eyed, waving her hands furiously.) I mean, no! I'm going to win, and that is final!

* * *

"We didn't do anything! No, what we did was right! We did what we had to do! Yeah!"

"Trent?" Cody asked, nervous, staring at Trent in their cabin. "I don't have to borrow your comb. I can take no for an answer."

Trent started rubbing his forehead. "Yeah… I mean, um, sure." Trent was uneasy, but took out a comb.

"I'll make do without," Cody said, nervously looking upon the comb.

"That was a little strange, man," Tyler said from his bed, also looking upon nervously. "You OK?"

"OK?" Trent asked, looking guilty. "Of course I'm OK! Why wouldn't I be OK? Gwen's done nothing wrong!"

"You don't have to tell me that," Cody said, looking uncomfortable.

"No one said anything about Gwen," Harold said, irritated, sitting in his bed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: I mean, Gwen is really hot. But she's less hot than Heather. But she's way, way, **way **hotter than Leshawna. (Harold's eyes start watering up quickly, and he starts sobbing.)

* * *

"Something smells good in here," Courtney said, smelling the air while leading Lindsay into the dining room, but also looking nervous. "Why does it smell good in here?"

"I guess it smells better than usual, but it reminds me of McRonald's," Lindsay said, looking disgusted. "I don't really like McRonald's."

"I don't think anyone really does," Bridgette said, following the other two into the dining room. "Cheaply made, low-quality food… it's mostly just convenient and cheap for people to eat."

"But it's like Disneyland, only cheaper!" Katie exclaimed, rushing in behind, bumping into Bridgette. "I'm sorry about that, but I just love playing in the ball pit with Sadie! So much fun! And I can just lie about my age, tell them I'm twelve, and they believe me!"

"Or the workers just don't really care," Courtney stated as she walked up to the counter, noticing a menu above Chef.

"What would you like to order?" Chef asked, angry, but trying to hold it in behind a smile.

"This is… this is McDonald's we're having this morning?" Courtney asked, confused.

"I don't like it any more than you do!" Chef exclaimed, trying to hide his anger, though not very well.

"It'll be equally embarrassing for my future career, but it'll taste better on the way down," Courtney stated. "I'll have the egg McMuffin, hash brown, and iced latté." Chef grumbled, and prepared her order, and put the items into a paper bag. "I wanted that for here," Courtney complained, rolling her eyes. "I mean, duh." Chef grumbled more, took out a tray, and threw the food onto it from the bag. "Thank you," Courtney cheerfully and fakefully said, as she went to sit down, and looked over to the other three girls. "I think it's safe."

Lindsay nervously walked over to Chef. "Hi, Chef! You look really nice today," Lindsay said, nervous. "I'd like a salad--"

"Breakfast!" Chef barked. Lindsay reeled back.

"OK. I'll have a yogurt parfait--"

"Breakfast!" Chef yelled, scaring Lindsay enough that she fell to the floor.

"Ow," Lindsay cried, rubbing her back as she picked herself back up. "Isn't yogurt breakfast-y?"

"Breakfast!" Chef yelled again, but was whacked in the head by Chris, still dressed as Ronald McDonald, walking up behind him.

"Chef, give this nice customer what she wants," Chris said, annoyed.

"She ain't no customer!" Chef yelled.

"Give her what she wants!" Chris shouted. "We're getting paid for this, remember?"

"I ain't gettin' nothin' outta' this!" Chef barked, angry.

"Fine!" Chris shouted, taking out a large stack of money. "Behave now!"

Chef grumbled, then turned to Lindsay, wearing a fake smile. "You'd like a salad or a parfait, little missy?"

"Yes, please," Lindsay said, smiling brightly.

"That wasn't a yes or no question!" Chef barked, but was quickly whacked again by Chris. "I mean, coming right up, ma'am."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: I hate McDonald's! Food has no character! Kids should be eating my special crap made from scratch instead of mass-produced crap!

Chris: (eating a Big Mac, talking with his mouth full) I don't really get the problem Chef has with McDonald's. (Chris takes out a big wad of cash.) i'm lovin' it! And i'm lovin' getting paid for keeping the i's lowercase!

* * *

Courtney stormed up to Chef's counter, throwing the egg McMuffin at Chef. "I demand a new one! This one has Canadian bacon on it!"

"That's back bacon, fool!" Chef yelled, scowling.

Courtney rolled her eyes. "I wanted an egg McMuffin, not a 'back' bacon McMuffin with egg," Courtney yelled back, using finger quotes.

"It comes on it!" Chef screamed. Chris whacked Chris again. "I mean, we'll make you a new one right away," Chef grumbled.

"Thank you,' Courtney said, smiling, though looked back at Lindsay, who didn't look happy.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I know it was just Chef, and Chef is really mean, but it really brought back bad memories.

* * *

"I'll have a hash brown, please," Bridgette said, smiling.

Chef poked Bridgette's arm. "You need meat on your bones, girl!" Chef threw a sausage patty at Bridgette. "Chow down on that, fool!"

Chris slapped Chef again. "Knock that off! Seriously, I don't like the hippie version of Lindsay either, but we're getting paid to promote McDonald's! I don't like this whole "give the contestants what they want" thing myself, but I'm more than willing to whore myself out for a few million dollars from the nice people at McDonald's!"

"Wait," Bridgette said, looking disgusted. "This is all just… product placement?"

"Would you **rather **eat Chef's usual slop?" Chris asked, irritated. "Seriously, just enjoy your hash brown and don't complain." Chris threw Bridgette a hash brown."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Plus, what Bridgette doesn't know won't hurt me. Just need to wait for the right time to tell her. (Chris chuckles to himself.)

* * *

"It's nice to have a delicious meal for a change," Tyler said, looking at Lindsay, with a tray full of McMuffins, biscuits, and McGriddles. "I miss real food like this."

"Well, it is better than you-know-who's food," Lindsay said, smirking, then looked confused. "Could you tell me who? I can't remember his name."

"It's Chef Hatchet, Lindsay," Harold said. "As in Nurse Ratchet, from _One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest."_

"I loved that movie!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling brightly.

"You do?" Harold said, surprised.

"I always knew you were an intellectual," Tyler said, grinning proudly.

"Yeah, but I liked _Four Flew over Pigsty, Land in Mud _more," Lindsay said, looking proud of herself.

"Err, what?" Tyler asked, confused.

"You know, the story of the number four, falling into a pigsty. You know, I'll bet that mud was really great for the four's skin!" Lindsay looked proud of herself, but Harold looked irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: She's never seen or read _One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest! _And she's making stuff up to cover it up… it's really hard to get along with her.

Tyler: I didn't really want Lindsay to lose face back there, but I think she was a little confused back there. Or more confused than usual. _Four in Mud? _(Tyler shakes his head.)

Courtney: Sometimes I wish I could see what goes on in Lindsay's mind. To see exactly what she sees, since it seems so different from the rest of us. In the interest of science, of course.

* * *

"So, I'm guessing McDonald's paid Chris a butt load of cash to endorse them?" Gwen asked, twirling a piece of hotcake into some syrup in her Styrofoam container. "Can't think of any other reason he'd be feeding us real food."

"Or as real as McDonald's can be," Bridgette said, holding a small bit of hash brown. "Still, these things and the fries are pretty good, even if they're not healthy. Everyone needs to treat themselves once in a while, I mean. Plus, there's no telling when we might get anything close to real food again."

"I don't suppose you've seen Leshawna, Gwen," Courtney stated. "I'd hate for her to miss the closest thing to real food we've had in ages."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Yeah. She'd certainly deserve a good meal. Spreading my diary around… real stand-up girl."

"A simple 'no, I haven't seen her' would have sufficed," Courtney said, a bit irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: (smirking) And it also would have been a lie. Easier not to lie if I don't have to.

* * *

"So what's our challenge, anyway?" Gwen asked, in a mocking tone. "Something McDonald's related. Serving up some smiles?"

"Actually, yes," Chris said, irritated. "I don't really like you stealing my thunder, either."

"Wait, you're serious," Gwen said, irritated. "We're seriously doing a McDonald's challenge."

"Yes, you're seriously performing in a McDonald's-themed challenge. And your first task is going to be building a playground. The team that builds the best--"

"Wait," Katie said, nervous. "Team? What about--"

"Merging?" Chris asked, smirking. "Thought about it, but no." Chris took out an envelope, and had a scowl on his face. "You and Other Lindsay can thank Izzy for that."

"Other Lindsay?" Lindsay asked, worried. "Oh, I hope Other Lindsay is nice, and not like Other Mother. I bet Other Lindsay is a genius!"

Katie giggled. "Bridgette's like the smartest person in the world. After Noah, at least."

"I meant Other Lindsay, though, not Bridgette," Lindsay said.

"I'm still upset about this whole 'not merging' thing," Katie said, irritated. "And also you blaming Izzy for it."

"Hey, it wasn't my choice," Chris said, angry.

"I'm sincerely doubting that," Courtney stated, sounding almost bored.

"We only have ten people left, though!" Katie said. "You even said we were going to merge at ten, but we had eleven people left last time, and--"

"Doesn't matter!" Chris shouted. "No merge! If your team loses, you're probably gone, since you and Other Lindsay will be tied, and I can't imagine Other Lindsay losing the tiebreaker, since everyone likes her for some reason. Or because she's the lesser of two evils. If I could vote, I'd admit that I'd rather vote you off than Other Bridgette."

"I'm pretty sure we all knew that already," Bridgette said, irritated.

"Why are you dressed like Donald McRonald, anyway?" Lindsay asked.

"Ronald McDonald," Chris said, irritated. "I don't get paid money for you screwing up the poor guy's name!"

"I still don't get why you're dressed as Donald McRonald, though," Lindsay said, confused. "He's kind of scary."

"Not as scary as the Burger King," Gwen said, grinning wide. "He's scarier than anything from any of my favorite movies."

"McDonald's!" Chris shouted. "No one says the B word here! They don't like that! We only talk about McDonald's-related topics today! And only positive things about McDonald's! Like how healthy their food is!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: I'm sure the executives at McDonald's are going to love Chris' little Burger King prank he played on me. (Harold rolls his eyes.)

* * *

"Healthy," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes. "That's a good one."

"But this magazine article says just how healthy McDonald's is!" Chris exclaimed, holding up a magazine page.

Bridgette squinted, then walked over to grab the page, and started reading. "Balance?! Eating a loaded-up greasy hamburger, greasy fries, and milk is balance?!"

"Two-percent lowfat milk!" Chris exclaimed. "And it's got all the major food groups! Didn't you even read the advertisement?!"

"You're seriously counting French fries as a vegetable serving," Bridgette said, shaking her head. "I may enjoy them every now and then, but let's not delude ourselves into believing they're actually good for anyone."

"Of course they're healthy!" Chris exclaimed. "Other Lindsay is just our resident dirty hippie who never showers! PU!" Chris started waving his hand in front of his nose.

"Bridgette is not a dirty hippie!" Courtney shouted.

"I don't mind the hippie part too much," Bridgette said, blushing a bit.

"Negative connotations," Courtney said. "I won't stand for it."

Chris sighed. "Anyway, if we're done with the outbursts, the two teams are going to build a McDonald's playground. Whichever team builds the better playground wins!"

"Build a playground?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. "Uh, why? There aren't any kids here."

"It'll look good on TV," Chris said, irritated. "Just build them!"

"But how?" Courtney asked. "With what?"

Chris put his head in his hand, shaking his head. "Everything you might need for your playground is outside, in the clearing. Just build your playground, and make sure you fit it inside your fence."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Does McDonald's even have playgrounds anymore? Seems like they've all been getting rid of them lately.

* * *

"So, how do we construct this, anyway?" Katie asked Bridgette, as they looked at a huge pile of metal and plastic before them. "I don't suppose you know how to, like, build stuff?"

"I've helped build homes for people in need before," Bridgette said. "I've also, kind of, sort of, maybe demolished a few too."

Katie shrugged. "Guess we've just got to hope for the best."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (crying a little) I'm so so sorry, Andrew and Alex. And little Madison… I really hope you guys have a place to live now, at least.

* * *

"Still missing Leshawna, but we can do this gang!" Courtney proclaimed.

"I don't know where she is!" Trent shouted. Gwen put her head in her hand, shaking her head.

"Um, yeah," Courtney said, looking suspiciously at Trent for a moment before continuing on perkily. "Anyway, I nominate myself to lead this project, since I best know how to utilize what we have to make the nicest-looking play area possible!"

"Best looking?" Cody asked, confused.

"Well, yes," Courtney stated. "I mean, there are no kids here to test it, so we just need to make the play area that's most pretty for television purposes."

"That sounded smart," Lindsay said, smiling. "I nominate Courtney too to… to… what she said!"

"Great!" Courtney exclaimed. "Then let's get started!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Courtney's such a great leader, at least when she's not yelling at everyone! I wish I could be a great leader just like her! (Lindsay looks down.)

* * *

"Come in!" Heather answered, in her bedroom, when there was a knock on her door. Izzy walked in, looking worried.

"I need to know something," Izzy said. "Do you know where Leshawna is?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "Uh, no, I don't. I don't really care, either. She can rot in hell for all I care."

"She kind of is," Izzy said, irritated. "Look, Izzy knows she's done some bad things, and Izzy doesn't approve of what she's done, but does she really deserve to die?"

Heather blinked in confusion. "Wait. Die? What? I thought that was the last challenge. Why would Chris put her back in the hot box?"

Izzy looked a bit confused. "That's not what I meant. I meant… wait," Izzy said, thinking it over. "You think she's back in the hot box again?"

"I didn't say that," Heather said, looking a little guilty, then sighed. "Look, she deserves some of what's coming to her, but she doesn't really deserve to die. I really don't think Chris would put her back in there again, though. Doesn't make for good TV to do the same thing twice." Heather thought about it for a moment. "Trent's been acting suspicious, though, if you ask me." Heather then suddenly looked worried and waved her arms frantically. "Not that I mean to start trouble between him and Gwen."

"I know, and thank you. You've been a help," Izzy said, smiling, then leaving the room, and closed the door behind her. "Unless someone else did. Everyone else knew the hot box was there. Could someone else have done it? Does E-Scope need to investigate? And who will win this stupid challenge, anyway? Seriously, if Chris were going to sell out, couldn't he have at least picked Tim Hortons?" Izzy shrugged. "Find out these answers when we come back with more _Total Drama I Hope Leshawna Isn't Where I'm Worried She Is!"_

"Um, who are you talking to?" Noah asked, walking past. Izzy just stuck out her tongue as he passed.

* * *

I'm sorry this chapter is short. I hope you guys like it… I'm a little disappointed with it, and except for the beginning, I was having a lot of trouble with it… hope the struggle isn't too obvious in reading, anyway!


	32. Day 15, Part 2: i'm shovin' it

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 32: Day 15: Part 2: i'm shovin' it**

Leshawna was lying on the floor in the hot box, feeling like she was dying. _I don't deserve this… I don't deserve this. Heather is __**dead **__when I get out of here. __**If **__I get out of here. _

* * *

"How should we connect these tubes?" Bridgette asked, on top of a large plastic structure, with Katie up there as well, helping Bridgette hold up the tubes.

"A straightaway in the front," Katie said. "We'll make it zigzaggy in the back. If it's too straight or too curvy, it won't be as much fun."

"Really?" Bridgette asked. "I mean, you sound sure enough, but… I mean, I never really gave it that much thought."

Katie shook her head, mocking disapproval. "Sadie never really got it either. Think she just took my word for it. It was a real shame when she couldn't fit through the tubes easily anymore. I mean, I can still fit in there pretty easy, but I couldn't do that to Sadie, just making her watch from the sidelines."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (shrugging) I don't see the big deal. Some people playing, others just watching from afar and keeping quiet… sounds good to me.

* * *

"What are these things, anyway?" Gwen asked, confused, placing down a stationary Fry Kid bouncer. "Seriously, what are you supposed to do with it, just… sit on it?"

"They bounce," Courtney stated flatly, looking a bit irritated, with Lindsay standing beside her. "And we need the bouncer over in the corner. We can't just place these things haphazardly! We need to optimize space here, people!"

"Yeah!" Lindsay agreed, smirking. "Courtney knows how to space optional!" Gwen rolled her eyes, then tried carrying the bouncer over to the corner.

"Need help with that, Gwen?" Trent asked, smiling, as he and Tyler were dragging a large Big Mac head along the ground."

"I can really use help with this," Tyler said.

"Gwen can wait," Courtney stated. "We need all the help we can get here. It would be a lot easier if we had Leshawna here to help us with--"

"I don't know anything, and you can't prove I know anything!" Trent exclaimed, looking around nervously.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Trent, what **are **you doing?! Seriously, calm down. Leshawna deserves this!

Izzy: (pushing Ezekiel off of her lap) What were you thinking, Zeke? Gwen knows where Leshawna is!  
Ezekiel: What did I do, eh?  
Izzy: (shaking her head) Zeke, Zeke, Zeke… the whole idea is to make the people watching us on TV that we were making out.  
Ezekiel: I doon't really get why we want to do that, eh?  
Izzy: It'll make for good TV, and it'll be fun! (Izzy grabs Ezekiel and pulls him up and gives him a big kiss.)  
Ezekiel: That woos fun!  
Izzy: If there's one thing Izzy knows, it's how to have a good time!

* * *

"Let's cap off the tube with a glass thing," Katie said, beaming, staring at the structure with Bridgette. "The kids can see out of it when they climb to the top. It's really cool, you know."

"You remember from when you were younger?" Bridgette asked.

"I was on playing in one last month," Katie said. "I'm sorry, Sadie! I'll make that up to you!" Bridgette chuckled. "I know, I know, I'm not a very loyal friend, betraying my BFFFL like that, but it's just so awesome to go up in there and scream with the kids having fun in there… it's fun to be a kid!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Remember that day you were sick, and I said I had to go to my grandma's house? Well, I really did have to go there, but after that, I went to McDonald's and played in the tubes. I'm so sorry I went behind your back and did that, Sadie!

Chef: Don't they have no age limit or height limit or nuthin'?!

* * *

"Not that one!" Courtney yelled, as Harold and Cody started carrying over a large Captain Crook bust. "We want the Hamburglar one!"

"Does it really matter?" Cody asked, a bit irritated. "Do any kids even know who the Hamburglar is nowadays? I don't think they use him anymore. And pirates are kickass!"

"Except in comparison to the ninja," Harold stated. "While pirates are getting drunk, the ninja sneaks behind him to strike, and the pirate never knew what hit him."

"Courtney, they're confusing me," Lindsay said, looking like she was about to cry. "Am I being stupid again?"

"No, **they're **being stupid," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, who cares about this whole pirate versus ninja argument? People recognize the Hamburglar, and they don't recognize that weird guy with the big hat and green mustache! It's that simple!"

"But he's a pirate!" Cody insisted. "Kids won't care if they don't know who he is, because he's a pirate!"

"Pirates are scary," Lindsay said, looking worried. "My teacher forced us to learn about them, and they're not as fun as they seemed in movies. And I used to really like Long George Slivers, but I bet he and Colonel Smithers were doing a lot of evil things together!"

"And you were complaining about what **we** were talking about?" Cody asked, a bit irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Isn't Long George Slivers a pirate? Weren't we talking about, like, pirates? Why was Cory confused?

Harold: I'm glad Cody said that instead of me. I'm trying not to complain, but it would be nice if Lindsay would help with the actual work, instead of just hanging on Courtney's arm like she is.

* * *

"Do kids really pee in here?" Bridgette asked, as she and Katie were dumping colorful plastic balls into a small room inside the play structure.

"Yes," Katie said, looking a bit disgusted as she was dumping balls alongside Bridgette. "If you ever want to play in there, I'd highly recommend you learn when they clean the place, and **if **they actually clean the place."

Bridgette's face quickly shot horrified. "Why would kids do that?"

"They're kids. They're known for being immature. And not all of them are potty-trained, really."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I can't tell you how horrible it is to be having fun tossing balls around when suddenly… just… **eww!**

* * *

Lindsay was fidgeting beside Courtney. "I know you're really smart, like, really smart, but isn't this thing kind of little? Just one little thing with balls, and one little tube going around it."

"It is small," Courtney stated. "We're not making this playground for fun, though. We're making it to **look **fun! It's like Christmas: one big present may be nicer than several smaller presents, but several smaller presents makes for a nicer presentation."

"Oh," Lindsay said, looking confused. "So it's not supposed to be fun?"

"Well, maybe. I don't know," Courtney said, flustered. "It might be fun. I'm pretty sure that spinning thing might be fun."

"Ooh, can we test it?!" Lindsay exclaimed, bouncing and clapping, then grabbing Courtney to use the spinning hamburger.

"I'd really rather not," Courtney stated.

"Come on! It'll be fun!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: For the record, it may or may not have been fun, but my political future depends on things like not being caught riding in a spinning hamburger thing.

Lindsay: Courtney really liked the ride. I don't think she'd admit it, though. I really wish she could relax more.

* * *

"All right, pencils down!" Chris exclaimed, still dressed as Ronald McDonald, walking over to the campers who were standing before their playgrounds.

"We had a test?" Lindsay asked, worried. "I didn't know we had a test. I didn't bring a pencil. Courtney, can I borrow a pencil?"

"It was an expression," Courtney stated.

"Don't care," Chris said. Chris walked into the Screaming Pansies playground, noticing all the equipment, poking at some of it, "mm-hmm"ing as he was doing so. He then went out, and went into the Killer Chrises playground, noticing the single structure, and trying to get inside, but opted not to, then headed out.

"So who won?" Courtney asked. "It's OK if our team lost. We can accept defeat."

Harold looked suspiciously at Courtney. "Are we sure you're not an alien disguised as Courtney? Since when do you accept defeat?"

"Since she's worried about Bridgette," Lindsay stated flatly.

"I don't care about--I mean, I don't want--I mean--**urgh!**" Courtney had gotten flustered.

"Irregardless, your team won, Courtney," Chris stated. "What can I say? Hard to judge what I can't really fit into. Besides, yours just looks cooler, with a ball pit, tubes, Big Mac, see saws, and that Hamburglar slide, and the Grimace bouncer. Have to respect Grimace."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Come on! Our playground is a lot of fun, and we lost because they had Grimace?! That big metal Big Mac jail thing doesn't even really look safe!

* * *

"Yes!" Courtney exclaimed, but quickly composed herself and looked worried, and walked over to Bridgette and hugged her. "I really hope you get to stay tonight." Courtney looked over to Katie. "I mean, I don't have anything against you, Katie, and I don't actively want you gone, but it's just that between you and Bridgette--"

"It's OK," Katie said, looking a bit down.

"Don't get too excited," Chris said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "But seriously, that was only part numero uno of today's challenge."

"I'm bad at Uno," Lindsay said. "I did beat Omar once, though. For some reason, he kept trying to play green cards when he was supposed to put down yellow ones."

Chris slapped his face. "There's another part to the challenge. I mean, don't get me wrong--it's nice to have the best playground, but now you're going to have to do some actual behind-the-counter work. And maybe some work in the dining area as well, because you're about to show the world how much fun you can have being a McDonald's employee!"

"Zero," Lindsay stated. "It's horrible."

"Nonsense!" Chris exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air. "Working for McDonald's is the greatest job imaginable! It's like going to Disneyland every single day of your life!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: The thought of going to Disneyland even once makes me want to puke.

Lindsay: I love Disneyland, except that place with the giant golf ball was really boring.

Katie: You know, I can never remember which one is Disneyland and which one is Walt Disney World. I think Walt Disney World is the one with the giant golf ball, maybe?

Chris: Of course, working at McDonald's is for people beneath me. Stupid teenagers and desperate adults who lost a job and desperately need to work. (Chris shakes his head.) Bunch of losers who are beneath me!

Bridgette: You know, it's confusing… you're not supposed to lie during a job interview, but if they ask why you want to work at McDonald's… well, no one really wants to work there. They have to lie, right?

* * *

Chris had led the campers, minus Trent and Gwen, over to two slapdash "McDonald's," made of a lot of plywood, with run down kitchen appliances. "This is where you guys are going to be working. Killer Chrises, you take the one on the right, Screaming Pansies, the left. Which ever of you guys do a better job running your place wins this part of the challenge!"

"Is this the last part?" Courtney asked, irritated.

"It's a three-part challenge, if you must know," Chris answered, irritated. "Killer Chrises, I would really put all my effort into winning this part if I were you."

"Will do!" Katie exclaimed.

Chris rolled his eyes. "On second thought, your team should just throw the challenge. Seriously, no one likes you, Katie."

"People like me!" Katie yelled. "Yes, I know I get on people's nerves sometimes, but I've been really really trying not to do that! Sadie, Noah, and Bridgette are all really nice and like me, and I may not be as sure about everyone else, but I think everyone likes me at least somewhat!"

"They don't like you," Chris said, getting angrier.

"I don't know," Courtney said, nervous. "I kind of like her. I mean, we're not exactly BFFFLs or anything, but Katie really isn't so bad."

"Eeeiii!" Katie exclaimed, as she rushed over to glomp Courtney.

"OK, maybe I spoke a bit prematurely," Courtney said, slightly irritated, but then smiled. "I'll let that one slide."

"Yeah, Katie's cool," Cody said. "She's fun to tease." Katie playfully stuck her tongue out at Cody.

"Do I even know who Kellie is?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Me!" Katie exclaimed, waving her arms in the air.

"Oh," Lindsay said, looking a bit sad. "I don't really remember you too well, but I'm sure you're really nice!"

Katie glomped Lindsay, who was smiling. "I'm nice, I promise!"

"Don't believe her," Chris stated. "Seriously. Don't believe her."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Chris' attitude toward Katie is reminding me of my own attitude toward Katie… did I really come across like that? (Courtney hangs her head in shame.)

Lindsay: Please don't put me at the register. Please don't put me at the register.

* * *

"Why did you carry us here?" Gwen asked, angry, as Izzy dropped Gwen and Trent off a short distance away from the others, out of sight from them. Ezekiel was with Izzy, looking a bit lost.

"Yeah, we need to do a challenge," Trent said, nervous.

"You know why you're here," Izzy said, grinning.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Um, no, we don't."

"They do know?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

"Yeah," Trent said, grinning. "We don't know anything about where Leshawna is!" Gwen looked shocked, then put her face in her hand, shaking her head.

"Look," Izzy said, more serious than usual, "I know you guys don't really like Leshawna much, but unless you can out-James Bond reference me, then we can't just let her die in there."

Gwen grumbled for a bit before speaking up. "I'm not trying to kill her. Just a little payback for what she did to me."

"Yeah," Trent said again. "We didn't put Leshawna in that hot box again."

Gwen sighed. "Trent, you're an idiot."

"You are too!" Izzy shouted. "That can kill her!"

Gwen shrugged. "So she gets a little hot. She deserves it."

"She could die," Izzy stated flatly. "Do you really, truly feel she deserves to die for embarrassing you internationally?"

"Gee, when you put it like that--"

"OK, bad time to remind you of that, but maybe I should remind you that, even though it was incredibly stupid, she did that for you! And herself, but also for you, too!"

Gwen sighed. "Trent, where did you put the key?"

"I just tossed it somewhere," Trent said. "Figured we wouldn't need it."

"Wait," Gwen said, concerned. "We weren't really planning on keeping her in there forever. You didn't keep the key?"

"Um… no?" Trent asked, worried.

Izzy sighed. "Well, it's like they say, there's more than one way to skin a cat. Fortunately, this is going to be more fun than that!" Izzy bolted off, dragging Ezekiel by his arm behind her, and Gwen and Trent followed, worried.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Trent: When she said skin a cat… that's just an expression, right?

Lindsay: (looking disgusted) I hate you, Kyle.

* * *

"Hi, and welcome to McRonald's. May I take your order?" Lindsay asked, trying to sound friendly, but looking miserable.

"I want a trio!" customer shouted at Lindsay, spitting on her.

"Number three, please," Lindsay said into her microphone.

"I don't want a number three trio! I want a number six trio!" the customer yelled, spitting on Lindsay still.

"Um… a number eighteen, please?" Lindsay said into her microphone.

"Where are you getting these numbers from?!" the customer screamed, with Lindsay looking mortified from the slobber. "Number six, now!"

"Number six, please?" Lindsay asked meekly into her microphone, looking a bit frightened.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Why did she keep saying trio if she didn't want a number three, or a combo number times three, or-- (Lindsay strangles the air.) **What the hell is wrong with people?! The spit! The spit!**

* * *

"Hi, and welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" Bridgette asked.

"I want something vegetarian. I won't eat meat!"

"Well, we have salads, shakes--"

"Shakes aren't vegetarian!"

Bridgette sighed. "Well, they're not vegan, but there's no meat in them. They're milkshakes."

"Shakes aren't vegetarian!"

Bridgette rolled her eyes. "**Milk **shakes. Not meat shakes. Milk shakes."

"Shakes aren't vegetarian! And I want to see your manager! I saw that eye roll, bitch!"

"I don't actually work here, you know," Bridgette said, angry. "There's little incentive for me to be polite here."

"There's incentive if you don't want to be voted off," Chris said, walking out, irritated. "And smile!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: OK, it really bothers me when someone complains about people who consume milk not being vegetarians. Seriously, there's a difference between vegetarians and vegans! Milk isn't meat!

Chris: OK, so there was a promotion for the biggest jerks in Canada to make it on this show for this challenge. I'd say the promotion worked out pretty nicely.

* * *

"Hi, and welcome to McRonald's, may I take your order?" Lindsay droned.

"Thank you!" the customer said, smiling. "I'd like a number four with iced tea, please."

"For here or to go?" Lindsay asked.

"For here," the customer said. "Not really anywhere I can go."

"Guess not," Lindsay said, smiling a bit more genuinely. "Number four, please," Lindsay said in her microphone.

"Tyler's pretty cute," the customer said. "Feel bad for the poor guy, just not very good at any sports. Seems pretty nice, though."

"He's the best!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming.

Chris stepped out next to Lindsay, irritated. "Rude, Alexis, rude! You're supposed to be rude to the McDrone!"

"Lindsay's so nice, though," Alexis said, nervous.

"Either do something mean or you won't get on TV! And you'll have to pay your own way back home.

Alexis sighed as she took her tray, after Cody put her food on it. "I'm sorry, Lindsay, but you… you're an awful person." Alexis looked guilty as she walked off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Aww… Allison seemed really nice, too. It's like the M turns people into big mean jerks!

Chris: My favorite part is how Lindsay didn't even seem to notice that I was yelling at her that she had to be mean! i'm lovin' it!

* * *

"Hi, and welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" Bridgette said, looking like she wished she were dead.

"I'm a vegetarian!" the customer shouted.

"Then don't order the meat," Bridgette said, shaking her head. "What would you like?"

"I'm a vegetarian!" the customer shouted again.

"Would you like a salad? A shake? Some fries? A--"

"The fries have meat!" the customer shouted.

"Um, they're fries," Bridgette said. "They're not healthy, I'll admit, but they're made with potatoes, and they're cooked in vegetable oil."

"They inject meat in it, though!" the customer shouted. "What kind of poor role model are you, telling vegetarians they can eat McDonald's fries?!"

Bridgette sighed. "Really, it's OK to have a little something yummy but unhealthy every now and then."

"He's right, you know," Chris said, smirking, walking up to Bridgette. "Do you even know what goes in those fries?"

"Sure," Bridgette said. "Potatoes, **vegetable **oil, a deliciously unhealthy amount of salt--"

"Use sea salt!" the customer yelled. "I drench everything I eat in sea salt because it's good for me!"

"Uh, yeah," Bridgette said, looking a bit confused.

"He's right about the beef, though," Chris said, beaming. "McDonald's does inject the fries with beef extract. Hashbrowns, too." Chris put on an innocent face, tapping his chin with his finger. "You had a hash brown this morning, didn't you?" Chris fake gasped. "You're a cow murderer!"

"Wait… what?" Bridgette asked, nervous.

Chris handed Bridgette a large stack of papers. "Here's the documentation, if you'd like." Chris shook his head. "I can't believe anyone saw you, of all people, as a role model. Claiming to be a vegetarian, and then sneaking meat behind everyone's backs… tsk, tsk."

Bridgette's eye was twitching, and Katie came out from preparing some burgers. "What did you do to her?!" Katie screamed.

"Oh, just making Bridgette feel like crap," Chris said, admiring his nails. "Always good to feel like you've really accomplished something each day."

Katie stormed over to Chris, looking a bit fearful, as he backed into the wall, and Katie kicked him in his balls, and started slapping him. Bridgette, a bit worried, tried to get Katie away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: That was low. **Low**. Even for Chris.  
Bridgette: It was low, but I'm still not sure it beats trying to kill me and Leshawna.  
Katie: Oh yeah… well, I guess when you look at it that way… I don't know. For some reason, it just feels more wrong.  
Bridgette: Seriously, why would they inject the fries with beef extract?! Who the hell does that?!  
(Bridgette starts tearing up and quivering her lip, and Katie hugs her gently, patting her on the back.)

* * *

"You only gave me three dollars back," a customer screamed at Lindsay. "I gave you a twenty! You need to give me thirteen dollars back, not three! Can't you even do simple math?!"

"She seemed to get six times three earlier," Courtney stated as she was preparing an ice cream cone.

"You gave me a ten," Lindsay said.

"You don't know nuthin'!" the customer screamed. "I've seen you on the show before! You're the stupidest person who ever lived! You don't even know the difference between ten and twenty."

"It's ten," Lindsay said, angry.

"Then give me ten more dollars back!" the customer screamed, clenching a fist.

"Don't push me," Courtney stated coldly, turning red, but then was hit by a hamburger thrown at her, causing her to scream.

"I didn't want a pickle!" another customer shouted. "Monkeys could do this job! Monkeys! You people aren't even as smart as monkeys!"

"Are you OK?" Lindsay asked, going over to comfort Courtney.

"Take my order!" another customer screamed. "Get back to the register, wench! No one likes stupid Courtney anyway!"

"You're right, Courtney sucks!" another customer exclaimed. "Let's throw food at her!"

"And if the register girl is too stupid to back off and she gets hit, who cares!"

The customers all started throwing food at the two girls, when Tyler came in from the back. "Leave my girl alone!" Tyler screamed. "And leave Courtney alone too! They didn't do anything!"

"And what are you going to do about it?" a large guy asked. "Beat us up? You'd better be good at boxing, else you're gonna' get messed up!"

"Bring it on!" Tyler said, angry.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: (covered in bandages) OK, so they overpowered me. But I was outnumbered. I could've taken them if there were less of them!

Courtney: That was actually sweet of Tyler… though it would have been less embarrassing if someone had actually hit him, instead of Tyler slipping on the hamburger that hit me, and crashing into everything. Still, I really do appreciate that he tried, at least. He's not my type, but he's good for Lindsay.

* * *

"Hi, and welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" Bridgette asked, while making her hand into a gun shape and pointing it to her head.

"You actually got the name of the restaurant right! I'm impressed," the customer said.

"Well, knowing the name of the place makes it easier to despise," Bridgette answered.

"But you get everyone's names wrong," the customer said. "Chip, Kyle, Omar, Lafawnda--"

"That's Lindsay," Bridgette said. "I don't do that."

"Why do you call yourself Lindsay sometimes, and Bridgette other times, anyway?" The customer chuckled. "Too stupid to remember your own name, I guess."

"I'm not stupid," Bridgette said, angry.

"I bet you're too stupid to even breathe on your own, you worthless pile of--oof!"

Katie had quickly rushed over to kick this customer in his balls. "Anyone else want a piece of me?!" The other customers looked frightened, then started slowly backing out of the "restaurant."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (blushing) I'm sorry about that, Bridgette.  
Bridgette: You were taking up for me back there. Thank you! (Bridgette hugs Katie.)  
Katie: I lost my cool, though.  
Bridgette: For a good reason. Seriously, those people were just awful!  
Katie: (sighing) Just vote me off tonight. It's my fault we lost, and you really deserve to win, anyway.  
(Bridgette starts crying a bit.)

* * *

Chris stood in front of the restaurant, before the campers, minus Gwen, Trent, and Tyler, and still dressed as Ronald McDonald. "Screaming Pansies, you guys were awful. Terrible. Abysmal!" Chris shook his head. "But they loved seeing Tyler in dire need of medical attention, so kudos for that move!"

"He didn't do that for their amusement!" Courtney shouted, angry.

"The end result is all I care about. And no one liked Katie kicking that one customer in his private place at all. And as such, the Screaming Pansies have won the second part of today's challenge!"

"So we win, right?" Courtney asked. "We won the first part, and we won the second part! We don't even need to do the third part, since we've already won two out of three."

"Except I never said it was two out of three," Chris said. "The only part of this challenge that counts is the last one."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: In retrospect, that was incredibly stupid of me. Katie would have been gone tonight if I just had the forethought of changing my mind and making it two out of three. Now I have to worry that Katie and Bridgette might actually win this stupid last round.

* * *

"So what was the point of the playground challenge and the employee challenge?!" Courtney screamed, throwing her arms into the air in frustration.

"No purpose really," Chris said, shrugging. "Just felt like a good idea to have a segmented challenge where only the last part counts for anything though."

"That's an incredibly stupid idea!" Courtney yelled. "Seriously, what's the point?!"

"Because I'm the host and I say so," Chris said, annoyed. "Besides, this final challenge is the most important one: both teams need to make a commercial advertising McDonald's. The team that makes the best commercial wins invincibility! The other team has to vote one of its members off tonight."

Courtney looked angry, then looked over to Bridgette, worried. "I still don't think it's fair, but I accept your terms of engagement."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Courtney, please don't marry Kyle! It's so not worth it, even if you win a million dollars!

* * *

"You really think that chainsaw can cut through it?" Gwen asked, nervously, while Izzy was on top of the hot box, sawing through it, and Ezekiel and Trent watched in horror.

"Diamond can cut through anything!" Izzy exclaimed. "The better question is why Chris even had a diamond-toothed chainsaw in his dressing room in the first place."

"Probably because of the diamonds," Gwen said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: I don't think we're allowed in here, Izzy.  
Izzy: (shrugging) Never stopped me before!  
(Izzy starts making out with Ezekiel, kissing him passionately as they both fall to the floor.)

* * *

Lindsay and Courtney were both leaning over, with Courtney wearing one of Lindsay's tops to show off cleavage, both holding a Big Mac. "I really hate this," Courtney grumbled.

"Think in terms of Chris," Cody said. "Chris is going to love it! Two beautiful women, showing off their assets while holding a Big Mac. Perfect as far as Chris is going to care!"

"Thanks!" Lindsay said, giggling. "I really do look perfect, don't I?"

"Yes, but I still feel dirty doing this," Courtney said, looking a bit disgusted. "I'd rather be appreciated for my mind."

"I wish I had a mind that people could appreciate," Lindsay said, looking down. "I know what I have that people like, though, and it's really not my mind." Lindsay started smiling again. "At least you and Tyler can see how pretty my mind is!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: Lindsay's nice. I can appreciate her mind. But seriously, she and Courtney are both drop dead gorgeous. Nothing wrong with appreciating both mind and body, now!

Tyler: (still bandaged up) For some reason, I have this urge to strangle Cody

* * *

"Are you sure, Bridgette?" Katie said, worried. "I'm pretty sure we're going to lose."

"I'm sure," Bridgette said. "You can vote me off tonight. I'll vote for myself, too. Don't want you to get punished for this."

"If you're sure," Katie said, as she started the camera.

"Hi," Bridgette said, smiling and waving to the camera. "I'm Bridgette, from _Total Drama Island _and _Total Drama Friendship, _and I have an important message." Bridgette scowled. "McDonald's is awful! It's a soulless corporation that does not care for any of us, and is only looking at its own bottom line. Did you know that the French fries are injected with beef extract?" Bridgette hung her had in shame. "I mean, it's one thing if you want to eat a hamburger. I don't like them, but if you do, go ahead and enjoy it. But to trick people into believing you have a meatless vegetarian product, and then to go injecting meat into it… what a nice way to say 'screw you' to the vegetarian population out there. Whatever happened to being honest and upfront?" Bridgette sighed.

"Just to make sure, you're **sure **you want to give this tape to Chris?" Katie asked, worried.

"Positive," Bridgette said, still angry.

Courtney was watching from the side, holding a videotape for her team. "They put beef in the fries?" Courtney asked. "If I had respect for McDonald's in the first place, I'd have lost it."

"I eat the fries!" Bridgette said, looking guilty. "I ate them, and I never knew. Really, what the hell?!"

Courtney smiled. "Katie, I think you need to comfort Bridgette right now. I'll bring the tape over to Chris for you."

"Thanks," Bridgette said, smiling, then hugging Courtney.

"Don't mention it," Courtney said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (a bit irritated) I am a good person, people!

* * *

"There!" Izzy exclaimed, finally sawing through the wall, and pushed it down. "Ezekiel, go get some water!"

"Aye aye, Captain Izzy!" Ezekiel exclaimed, then ran off. Izzy looked inside the hot box and saw Leshawna lying there, stinky and not moving.

"Leshawna!" Izzy yelled. "Wake up!"

"Buff if if, Iffy?" Leshawna said, disoriented.

"I did this," Gwen said, looking distraught, walking closer to Leshawna. "I wanted revenge, but I didn't want this. I mean, I enjoyed drawing things, but I didn't want this."

"Beff, id moffy!" Leshawna said.

Gwen went down to hug Leshawna. "I'm sorry, Leshawna."

"So are we supposed to be not mad at Leshawna now?" Trent asked, scratching his head. "I'm a little confused."

"We can be mad later," Gwen said. "Just not, well, right at this exact moment."

"Here!" Ezekiel exclaimed, carrying in a glass of water, which Leshawna quickly drank up.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Leshawna exclaimed, hugging Izzy, Gwen, Trent, and Ezekiel. "Gwen, I'm so so so so sorry that I spread your diary around like that. I was a lousy friend. I just wish you could forgive me for that."

"No," Gwen said. "I did go too far here, though, and I'm sorry for that. I didn't really want you to die."

"I guess I can accept that," Leshawna said, smiling. "I can't tell you guys how sorry I am that I did that!"

"We can, though," Gwen said, irritated. "You keep telling us, after all."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I really didn't want to bring it up, and I know I was horrible to Gwen and owe her an apology, but she kind of owes me one too. I mean, I know she didn't want me to hurt that bad, but she still wanted me to hurt, you know what I'm sayin'? (Leshawna sniffs her shirt.) I really need a shower something bad.

Gwen: I'll admit that I went too far there, but Leshawna's just so despicable! How could she have done that to me?!

Trent: Leshawna's pretty mean. And she smells something awful.

(Izzy and Ezekiel are making out on the floor. The tops of their heads can be seen.)  
Ezekiel: You're really good, Izzy.  
Izzy: You're pretty bad, but Izzy can change that!

* * *

Chris, still dressed as Ronald McDonald, stood in front of the cabins, before the campers, minus Gwen, Trent, and Tyler. "Campers, I must say, the McDonald's executives saw the tapes, and they loved one of them! They said they loved the sex appeal, the boobies, how the actual food wasn't shown very much… they were lovin' it!" Chris started frowning. "But they absolutely hated the other commercial. Ranting about French fries and how awful they are…." Chris shook his head. "Tsk, tsk."

"You can vote me off, Bridgette," Katie said, smiling, putting her arm around Bridgette, who was crying. "Really, I want you to stay."

"I deserve to go, though," Bridgette said.

"I want Katie to go too," Chris said, irritated. "Unfortunately, McDonald's loved your commercial and hated the Screaming Pansies' commercial, so the Killer Chrises win immunity!"

"Wait," Bridgette said, confused and blushing bright red. "Our commercial had sex appeal?"

Chris shrugged. "If it makes you feel better, I think that you're way less hot than Lindsay is."

"Thanks," Bridgette said, disgusted, blowing her bangs out of her face.

"Our commercial wasn't ranting against McDonald's, though," Cody said. "It was mostly Lindsay and Courtney showing off cleavage while holding Big Macs."

Chris sighed. "Look, McDonald's is paying me big bucks to abide by their ruling, and as such, my hands are tied. Seriously. You think **I **wanted Katie to be safe tonight?!"

"It doesn't make any sense, though," Lindsay said, confused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: OK, **now **I get it. I just needed someone to explain it to me. I kind of like the idea, really.

* * *

"So… did we miss anything?" Gwen asked, as she and Trent were returning to the others. "Aside from Chris still being in that ridiculous costume?"

"Our team lost," Courtney said cheerfully. "It'll be OK, though."

"Yes it will," Gwen said, grinning. "Means we can vote off you-know-who tonight."

"Who's you-know-who?" Lindsay asked, confused again. "I hope Tyler isn't you-know-who! That's really mean, Gwen!"

"Um, no," Gwen said, irritated. "It's Leshawna."

"Oh," Lindsay said, still confused. "Why do we want to vote off Leshawna, though?"

"Reading my diary to the whole world? Framing Heather for reading my diary to the whole world? Maiming you and Courtney?"

"Oh, yeah," Lindsay said, smiling. "I almost forgot about that. Sorry Greta!" Lindsay looked to Courtney, confused. "Why do we like Leshawna, again?"

"You're kidding," Gwen said, more irritated. "You're remembering Leshawna's name but not mine?"

"Am I?" Lindsay asked, putting a finger to her chin. "I'm sorry, Greta!" Gwen sighed.

"We don't like Leshawna," Courtney stated. "We just feel it's only fair to keep her around while she is still an asset to us. We may not ever merge, for all we know."

Gwen sighed. "Is winning the only thing you care about?"

"Yes," Courtney answered.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: What kind of a question was that?! If winning was the only thing I cared about, I'd have gotten rid of Leshawna ages ago! I'm also pretty sure I could've never gotten close with Lindsay. I'm trying hard to make sure I can keep things in perspective!

* * *

"Hi guys," Leshawna said, nervously walking toward everyone else, most of whom didn't look too happy to see her.

"Are you OK?" Courtney asked, walking up to her, hugging her. Leshawna hugged back. "We were worr… some of us were worried about you. Where were you?"

"The hot box," Leshawna said. "Felt like I was gonna' die in there!"

"That's terrible," Courtney said. "You cleaned up nicely, at least. Did Chris lock you in there again?"

"I'd rather not say," Leshawna said. "Don't really want to point fingers."

"Me and Trent did it," Gwen said, looking down. "I was angry, I went too far."

Everyone was quiet for a few moments, until Lindsay spoke up. "Was that why you were acting all weird earlier, Tristan?" Trent didn't answer. "Tristan, hello, I'm talking to you!"

"Try 'Trent,'" Gwen said, irritated.

"Who's Trent?" Lindsay asked.

"I'm Trent?" Trent said, confused. "What did you want?"

"Were you acting all weird earlier because you locked Leshawna away in the hot box?" Lindsay asked, tearing up a bit.

"No," Trent said. "I was just… I mean, I wasn't any different from normal."

"Yeah," Gwen said sarcastically.

"You two should be ashamed of yourselves," Courtney said, angry, glaring at Gwen and Trent.

"Just let it go, please," Leshawna said, smiling innocently.

Courtney sighed. "Fine."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I'm not particularly pleased with Gwen or Trent right now, but frankly, Trent's been pretty irritating lately, and if we kick Gwen off, then Leshawna's never going to be able to make up with her. I can guarantee that Leshawna is not being kicked off tonight, however.

Harold: I know what Leshawna did was horrible beyond comprehension, but still… she's so delicious! (Harold starts drooling, then wipes his mouth with his sleeve.) I know I'm trying to get along with Lindsay, but since I have to vote somebody off anyway, why not?

Gwen: I'm really sorry that I tried to kill Leshawna… I really didn't think I was going that far. Still, it's perfectly fair to vote her off. Twenty-one of us have to be voted off. Why should Leshawna get to be the one person who wins?

Trent: Leshawna… urgh! She's just so nasty!

Leshawna: Tyler, I guess… I don't really want to vote for anyone, but I just can't think of who else to vote for. Can't vote for Courtney, who's on my side, and I can't vote for Gwen or Trent, who still hate me. Can't vote for Harold either, since, well… I still like him, even if he doesn't like me. Can't do that to him.

* * *

The eight Screaming Pansy members were gathered around the campfire that night, while Chris, still dressed as Ronald McDonald, was shaking his head in disappointment behind his podium. "I'm disappointed in you guys. Really disappointed. I was really hoping I could get rid of Katie tonight, too."

"Well, it is your fault for not making the challenge two out of three," Courtney said, smirking.

"Hush!" Chris shouted, holding his head as if he had a headache. "Don't remind me. Irregardless, you guys--"

"That's not a word," Courtney stated, smirking again. "You keep saying it, though. It's regardless. There's no 'ir.'"

"It's a word if I say it's a word!" Chris yelled. "Seriously, I don't hear you yelling at Lindsay or Bridgette when they screw up words!"

"Bridgette doesn't mess up!" Lindsay shouted, angry. "Bridgette's really smart!"

"You would say that," Chris stated. "You dumb blondes have to stick--"

"Look," Courtney stated venomously, as she quickly and menacingly approached Chris, "this is going to stop." Courtney grabbed Chris by the neck and lifted him in the air. "If you value breathing, you are going to stop calling Bridgette stupid, since she's extremely intelligent, and you're also going to stop calling Lindsay stupid, because, well, it's just unnecessarily mean!"

"Take a marshmallow," Chris squeaked out. Courtney dropped Chris, and took a marshmallow from the plate and popped it into her mouth, then walked to the side, and continued glaring at Chris. "That marshmallow means that Courtney is safe. If I call your name, come up and receive your marshmallow: it means you are safe. If you do not receive a marshmallow, it means you must leave immediately, walk the Dock of Shame, and catch the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back! **Ever! **And I mean it this time, too!"

"Gwen."

"Cody."

"Harold."

"Tyler."

"Lindsay."

Leshawna was sitting on her stump nervously, twiddling her fingers, looking down, while Trent looked confident. Gwen was looking confident as well, as Courtney started smirking. "There is only one marshmallow left. That person is…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Trent." Leshawna looked as if she'd just had her heart ripped out as Trent walked up to collect his marshmallow.

"Um, where's the marshmallow?" Trent asked, noticing the empty plate.

"That's… odd," Chris said, confused.

"I have it," Courtney stated, grinning widely. "And I'm afraid Trent cannot have this marshmallow."

"Um, yeah, he can," Chris said, irritated. "Leshawna got three votes, and Trent got only two. That's how the game works."

Courtney took out her contract. "Page one hundred thirty-two, paragraph six clearly states that in the event of intra-team sabotage, defined as a team member intentionally taking one of their own teammates out of play for the entire duration of a challenge, then that person cannot be voted off if said team loses that particular challenge." Chris walked over to hand Chris the contract, pointing specifically to the sentence she was reading. "It's right there." Courtney walked over to hand Leshawna the last marshmallow, who looked confused. Chris was screaming obscenities as he threw down the contract.

"You suck!" Chris screamed at Courtney, who was smirking deviously. "**Ir**regardless, Trent, I'm afraid I can't help you, man. You're out."

"But why?" Trent asked, nervous. "Don't people like me?"

"Frankly, you've been getting on my nerves lately," Courtney stated. "Not to mention that whole 'trying to kill Leshawna' thing."

"I wasn't trying to kill her!" Trent shouted, then turned his head down. "Leshawna, I really didn't think it could kill you." Trent sighed, then extended his hand. "Friends?"

Leshawna smiled and shook Trent's hand. "Friends. Can't expect anyone to forgive me if I can't do the same."

"Trent!" Gwen shouted. "How could you?! She's the enemy!"

Trent shrugged. "Staying mad at her isn't healthy. It's good to let it go, you know?"

"No," Gwen stated, angry.

"Look, I still care about you more than anything else!" Trent exclaimed, turning Gwen's head toward him. "I know you don't like Leshawna, and I don't blame you. Just no more trying to kill her, promise?"

Gwen started smiling slightly. "Promise." Gwen and Trent shared a passionate kiss, and Courtney kept Chris back from breaking it up.

"Seriously, it makes for good TV," Courtney said. "I don't know why you don't want good TV in this particular circumstance."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Yes, yes, kissing makes for good TV, but making these kids miserable makes for even better TV! Seriously, these guys all suck!

* * *

Trent stepped onto the Boat of Losers, with Gwen standing on the edge of the Dock of Shame, sad. "Bye Trent!"

"Bye Gwen! I'll think of you at the hotel, and I won't think of anything else! You can win this, baby!" Gwen continued waving as the boat left and sailed off into the distance.

"And it's been another heartbreaking elimination," Chris said, mugging for the camera, with Gwen looking irritated behind him. "The evil and devious Leshawna, plotting Trent's elimination to get back at Gwen!"

"Um, no she didn't," Gwen said. "Not that I like Leshawna, but Courtney's kind of the one who--" Gwen's eyes shot wide open, and she slammed her fist into the palm of her other hand. "Courtney!"

"So, gonna' lock Courtney in the hot box to get revenge, now?" Chris asked, smirking.

"Um, no," Gwen said. "I don't really want to kill her, you know."

"Uh huh," Chris said. "Like you didn't want to kill Leshawna."

"You locked her in there, too," Gwen said.

"Moving on, what is in store for our campers next time? What surprises will we have to torture them with? Or maybe, just maybe, we'll have a nice surprise for them next time."

"Yeah. Right," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"It could happen!" Chris shouted, stomping his foot. "And it **will **happen, next time, on _Total Drama--"_

"Trent!" Gwen shouted, leaping toward Chris to cover his' mouth.

Chris threw Gwen off of him, into the lake. "Seriously, cut that out!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Seriously, Courtney, I'm not into Duncan! Get over it! Way to get back at me there, finding a loophole to keep Leshawna on while kicking Trent off. Way to go. (Gwen rolls her eyes.)

* * *

Heather was waiting on the dock at the Playa' des Losers, as the Boat of Losers arrived, dropping off Trent, who looked disgusted to see Heather waiting for him.

"I'm sorry you lost," Heather said, smiling.

"I **don't **need to see you now," Trent said, rushing past Heather, angry. "Not going to let you trick me into kissing you again." Heather sighed, looking down.

* * *

**Votes**

Cody: Leshawna  
Courtney: Trent  
Gwen: Leshawna  
Harold: Lindsay  
Leshawna: Tyler  
Lindsay: Trent  
Trent: Leshawna  
Tyler: Harold

Leshawna: 3  
Trent: 2  
Lindsay: 1  
Tyler: 1  
Harold: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Heather, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel, Trent

Remaining Killer Chrises: Bridgette, Katie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Gwen, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Tyler

* * *

Yep… 'twas Trent's time to leave. He made it past the halfway point though, right? There wasn't a lot more for him to do in the story, though, and, well… I'm sorry he had to go, but someone had to go.

Fun fact: Sierra was going to be one of the customers, but I decided against the bit because, simply, we haven't even really seen Sierra yet. Don't really want to write her if I'm not sure of her character, exactly.

Chris was not lying at the end of this chapter: no one will be leaving in Day 16. It's a reward, and something a lot of people are going to be wanting….


	33. Day 16, Part 1: Wish You a Merry Chris

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 33: Day 16: Part 1: We Wish You a Merry Chris**

Noah was walking through the main lounge in the Playa' des Losers, not paying much attention to where he was going, with his head stuck in a book, as he bumped into something. "If you're not blind, could you watch where you're going?"

"You're talking to a Christmas tree," Heather said, standing on the other side of the tree, rolling her eyes.

"It's July," Noah said, irritated. "No one celebrates Christmas in July."

"Well, apparently somebody does, since the tree is here," Heather shot back.

"Weren't you supposed to be nice, or some bologna like that?" Noah asked.

"I don't like Christmas decorations in July," Heather said, shrugging. "Lots of people don't like seeing people with Christmas decorations out in July. That does not make me a bad person!"

"I don't know," DJ said, shrugging, as he and Sadie were making decorations. "I wish it could be Christmas all year long."

"And know love not once a year, but every minute, every hour!" Sadie exclaimed, clapping her hands, then squeezing DJ, who looked confused.

"Well, I'm glad some of you like it," Heather stated. "I'd rather have nothing to do with it, though." Heather walked away, looking upset.

"So, why are we celebrating Christmas, anyway?" Noah asked.

"The tree and a lot of the decorations were there when we got up this morning!" Sadie exclaimed, then tapped her chin. "No one really knows why, though."

"It's cool, though," Geoff said. "Christmas means Christmas party, and I can dig that!" Sadie giggled.

"Really, though," DJ said, "a time for giving to others and loving one another, what's not to love about it?"

* * *

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, in his standard attire, looking irritated. "Izzy sucks, and I know she's listening!" Chris grumbled before continuing. "McDonald's really didn't like that commercial the Screaming Pansies made at all, and they're pulling out. Thanks a lot, you guys!" Chris continued grumbling as he took out a stack of papers, and angrily started crumpling them one by one. "And I really need to watch what I say around Izzy. Seriously, I **should **be allowed to change my mind about how many people I'm bringing back! Izzy and I have reached a compromise, anyway. Mostly because the producers didn't give me much of a choice. They don't like lawsuits, either."

"You're doing the right thing," Izzy said, walking up to Chris, with Ezekiel in tow. Izzy then pat Chris on the shoulder. "Don't you feel better now?"

"This sucks!" Chris shouted. "Anyway, last time on _Total Drama--"_

"Zekey!" Izzy exclaimed, then glomped Ezekiel, startling him.

Chris rubbed his forehead. "Anyway, last time, we had the two teams competing in three McDonald's-themed challenges. Delicious stuff, by the way. I swear by it! And if you'd love to sponsor the show again, I'm open to negotiations!"

"How about sponsoring Izzy's Happy Sap?" Izzy asked, turning away from Ezekiel for a moment, and whipped out a bottle of Izzy's Happy Sap. "Delicious concoction I discovered last year. You should try it!" Izzy tried to open the bottle, but was having trouble. Izzy finally popped the top open, and out splashed the syrup all over Ezekiel. "Oh my God, I'm sorry Zeke!"

Ezekiel just stood there, looking shocked, dripping. "It's… err, whoot just happened?" Izzy shrugged, then started licking Ezekiel.

Chris was looking grossed out. "Really don't need to see that." Chris walked over to the edge of the dock. "We'll edit that out later. Anyway, in the McDonald's challenge, the Screaming Pansies built the more commercially-attractive playground, and they were better at handling sucky customers. Especially that one… Allison, I think." Chris shuddered. "Don't know how she can live with herself. But that didn't matter, since the Screaming Pansies lost the final part of the challenge, by making a really crappy commercial where they ranted about McDonald's. Seriously, it's like they tried to lose, or something." Chris put his face in his hand, shaking his head.

"Irregardless, it meant that the Killer Chrises won, and that the Screaming Pansies had to vote someone off. It was supposed to be Leshawna who got the boot, but for reasons Chef can't even figure out, much less me, Courtney pointed out a loophole that saved Leshawna's butt, and got Trent kicked off the island. I still don't really understand why she wanted to save the same girl who broke her leg a few days ago, but Courtney likes bad boys. Guess she likes bad girls, too. Who am I to judge?" Chris thought about it for a moment. "Actually, I'm the host, so I get to judge, ha ha!" Chris started smiling big and making grand gestures. "And our nine remaining campers should be happy, because no one is getting voted off today! And one of them will get a really nice reward… partly because of lousy Izzy."

"I make people happy!" Izzy exclaimed, then went right back to licking Ezekiel, who didn't seem sure whether to be happy or worried.

Chris grumbled, then smiled and continued. "But what will the nine remaining contestants be playing for? Who is going to try their hardest to win? Find out what surprise we have in store, coming up now, on _Total Drama Chris!"_ Chris looked a bit surprised, then looked over to Izzy. "So you're letting me say the proper name this time?"

"I don't think she cares, eh?" Ezekiel said, as Izzy was contentedly licking him clean. Chris reeled back in disgust.

* * *

_Lindsay was watching a Total Drama Island rerun in her bedroom, and cheered when she first walked onto the island, and booed when Heather made her entrance. "I hope you lose earlier this time!" Lindsay yelled, angry. Lindsay continued watching, and noticed Courtney's arrival. "Wait, I'm confused," Lindsay said, with her finger resting on her chin. "Wasn't Colleen mean and bossy? She seems so nice." Lindsay stared at the TV for a moment, but shook it off. Lindsay took note again, though, when Courtney comforted Sadie after she and Katie were put on different teams. "I thought Cobi hated Sadie. Why is she being so nice?"_

* * *

"What is your problem with me?!" Gwen yelled, waking Lindsay up. Leshawna looked guilty.

Courtney sighed. "I know that Leshawna's done some quite despicable things--no offense Leshawna--but--"

"I'm not talking to Leshawna!" Gwen yelled. "I'm talking to you! Seriously, there's nothing between Duncan and me!"

Courtney blinked in confusion. "Look, I'm sorry I ever suspected something sinister between you two, but I assure you that while you may not be my favorite person here, I do not have a problem with you that I couldn't handle in a civil manner."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I'm Courtney's favorite person here, right? (Lindsay thinks it over for a moment.) Actually, I bet David is her favorite, but I'm number two, right? (Lindsay thinks it over for longer, looking thoughtful.) OK, that's probably Bridgette

Courtney: I can't figure out my list… number one is a secret, and Chris is deservedly fourth from the bottom at number two thousand three hundred sixty-eight. But I really can't figure out whether Bridgette or Lindsay should go at number two, and who should go at number three. How am I supposed to make such an important decision?

Izzy: And I thought I was the only person who had a list.  
Ezekiel: Why are we watching Courtney's private time, eh?  
Izzy: (shrugging) It'll probably be broadcast later on, anyway. Izzy likes knowing everyone's little secrets!  
Ezekiel: I doon't get it, eh.  
Izzy: Izzy is OK with that. You'll be you, and I'll be me. That's the way it was meant to be. But you see, Zekey, the world is a mixing cup: just look what happens when you stir it up!  
Ezekiel: (confused) I have noo idea what any of that meant, eh.

* * *

"Shut up!" Gwen yelled, her voice cracking, and she started tearing up.

Courtney looked at Gwen, confused. "Is everything all right?"

"Shut up!" Gwen yelled, and stormed out. "And don't follow me!" Gwen slammed the door.

Leshawna sighed. "You didn't do nuthin' wrong, girl. She's mad at me, and she's mad at you for stickin' up for me." Courtney looked confused. "She wanted me gone. I'd want me gone too, really. Can't say I like people who do what I done."

"It would have been unfair for you to leave," Courtney said, shrugging. "You weren't there for the challenge, and had no effect on the outcome. I like to believe myself to be a just person."

Leshawna smiled. "I'm really, really grateful you give me another chance. I'm kinda' surprised, really."

Courtney tilted her head. "Why is that surprising? I like to believe that I am a just person."

"I dunno'," Leshawna said, looking down. "Just seems like you'd hold grudges, and I did do something pretty bad."

"Oh, that," Courtney stated. "I just think you should get a fair chance to make amends. You've committed some highly distasteful acts, but you've legitimately tried to make up for them." Courtney smiled, then sighed. "I feel bad for you, Leshawna."

"Why do we feel bad for Leshawna?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I mean, she was pretty mean."

"You were trying to do what was right," Courtney said sincerely.

"Thank you!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming.

"Not you, Leshawna," Courtney said, then reeled back a bit. "I mean, you too, Lindsay, but Leshawna too."

"Oh yeah," Lindsay said, staring vacantly at nothing in particular.

"Thanks," Leshawna said, shying back.

"Really, it's not something that should be held against you forever. You did a bad thing for a good reason."

"Thanks, girl!" Leshawna exclaimed. "Really means a lot to me!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Seriously! It's not something that should be held against me forever, people! What do I have to do for you guys?!

* * *

"Do you guys hear bells?" Tyler asked, looking out of his cabin window suspiciously. "I coulda' swear I heard bells."

"I thought I heard them too," Cody said.

"Chris is up to something," Tyler said, narrowing his eyes. "You won't get away with it, Chris! You hear me?!"

"Uh, dude, who are you yelling at?" Cody asked, nervous.

"Ho, ho, ho!" Chris exclaimed, wearing a Santa suit, as he kicked open the door. "Except I left my ho ho ho back at my trailer. Prettier than the scrubs next door, I'd say."

"Why are you dressed like that?" Cody asked. "It's July. Christmas is months away."

"'Tis the season to be sharing, and giving," Chris said. "And you're going to like and accept your gifts!"

"What's going on over here?" Courtney asked, followed by Lindsay and Leshawna. "And why are you dressed like Santa? It's July. Christmas is months away."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: Well, they do say great minds think alike.

* * *

"Santa?" Lindsay asked, narrowing her eyes, then glomping Chris. "Santa! How have you been? I'm so glad I'm getting to meet you in person! Wow! I'm--"

"It's me, Lindsay," Chris said, irritated. "Chris. Not Santa."

"You're not Santa?" Lindsay asked, climbing down, disappointed. "Aw, I fell for it again."

"Fell for what again?" Courtney asked.

Lindsay sighed, looking down. "I've never met the real Santa before. All the Santas I thought were real were fake ones. I'd really like to meet the real Santa."

"Lindsay, you are aware--" Courtney stopped herself short, looking unsure of what to say. "You aren't aware, are you?"

"Aware of what?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Uh, nothing!" Courtney exclaimed, trying to put on a fake smile. "Everything's fine!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Lindsay really doesn't know that Santa Claus doesn't exist. I couldn't just shatter her worldview like that, but I worry that I'm not being a good friend if I just let her continue believing that he's real. I need to figure out how to gently broach the subject. (Courtney taps her chin in thought.) How does she not get tormented mercilessly in school, anyway?

Lindsay: A lot of my friends are really forgetful. When we go to the movies, or out to eat, some of them always forget their money. And they always forget to pay me back. But I can't really complain much… I'm pretty forgetful, too.

* * *

"All right, campers, I think it's… we're missing some people," Chris said, annoyed. "Gwen, Bridgette, Hellspawn… where are they?"

Courtney sighed. "Gwen needed to get away, and Bridgette and Katie--that's her name, by the way--are probably--"

"I didn't know that was her name!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming. "I hope I can remember Kelly's name."

"Yeah," Courtney said, looking confused. "They're probably sleeping on the cold, hard ground, like you insisted for reasons unknown."

"They deserve it!" Chris shouted. "Seriously, what have they ever done for me?!"

"Your paycheck," Courtney stated flatly.

"Just get them!" Chris said, exasperated, shaking his head in the palm of his hand. Courtney, annoyed, went off to find the others. "Seriously, who put a stick up her ass?"

"You," Lindsay stated flatly.

"Shut up!" Chris whined.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Seriously, these kids are going to be put on my naughty list if they don't cut it out! Maybe I shouldn't be so nice!  
Izzy: (popping out from the toilet seat) Oh yes you are!  
Chris: Ack! What the hell are you doing--that's disgusting!

* * *

Chris, still dressed as Santa, was standing in the middle of the boys' cabin, with the nine contestants standing around, not looking particularly happy.

"Don't really want to be here with **them**," Gwen said, pointing over to Leshawna and Courtney.

"Did I really do anything wrong here?" Courtney stated, annoyed.

"Yes," Chris said. "Seriously, you have more fans who hate you than anyone else on this show. Even more haters than Katie, for some reason." Chris shrugged.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Was I really that bad, people?! I tried my hardest to be supportive of my team! I mean, my heart was in the right place. Why doesn't that count for anything?!

Katie: Seriously, what did I do wrong? I don't even really remember what Chris has against me. I mean, aside from him not liking any of us, really.

* * *

Chris grumbled incomprehensibly before continuing. "You idiots are fending for yourselves now. No more Screaming Pansies, no more Killer Chrises, and no more hoping that you Killer Chrises would kill yourselves off before needing a merge. I hate you guys."

"We hate you too," Katie said, smirking. Chris shuddered.

"It also means that you two can move in with the other girls!" Izzy exclaimed, leaping down from the ceiling before Bridgette and Katie. Izzy looked a little surprised, then looked up, only to have Ezekiel fall on top of her. "You're pretty clumsy, aren't you?"

"I'm not used to walking on ceilings, eh," Ezekiel said, rubbing his sore butt.

Izzy sweetly kissed Ezekiel's butt… then started wildly licking it. "Can't really French your butt with your pants on, sweetie." Izzy tapped her chin. "Not in front of all my friends, anyway." Ezekiel went wide-eyed, and Izzy shook her head. "Oh, you'll want it eventually. Izzy's patient, though!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: I really doon't think I'm ever going to woont that, eh?  
Izzy: Oh, you'll want it. Izzy can wait, though.  
Ezekiel: I really doon't think--  
Izzy: (putting her hand over Ezekiel's mouth) Just trust Izzy, OK? Good.

* * *

"I guess you'll have to put up with me for longer," Katie said, with one foot in front of the other, swaying innocently, with a finger to her mouth.

"I, for one, am happy," Courtney said. "I have nothing against you, and I--well, I can't say I want to face you in the final two, but really, how am I supposed to choose you over--wait." Courtney looked confused, trying to figure something out, as Katie glomped her.

"It's OK!" Katie exclaimed, as Courtney, looking less uncomfortable than usual, pat her on the head

"But she threw apples at your head!" Chris shouted. You should despise her! Hate her! Want to strangle her!"

"That was Sadie," Courtney said, irritated.

"Please don't start that again," Katie said, getting nervous. "She's really sorry about that."

"Oh, I didn't mean that I was--" Courtney said, flustered, then stopped herself and sighed. "I'm over that, really." Katie smiled.

"You suck!" Chris shouted, irritated, rubbing his forehead.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Seriously, I harbor no ill will toward either Katie or Sadie. They're sweet, annoying girls, but a lot of people annoy me. They're still nice.

Katie: I still can't convince Courtney to confess with me. One of these days I'll get her in here with me!  
Bridgette: She doesn't really come in with me either. It's not just you, really!  
Katie: Have you ever asked her to come in here with you, though?  
Bridgette: Well, no, not really. She just likes her space, though.  
Katie: Oh, I know. I like teasing her, still.

* * *

"I'm trying to be nice!" Chris shouted. "Seriously, we have a nice reward on the line here, folks!"

"Let me guess, a rickety old house that's about to fall into an active volcano?" Courtney said, raising an eyebrow. "A trip to a lame cheese factory? A bag of puffed cheese snacks with fake orange powder that's supposed to pass for cheese?"

"Try an all-expense paid vacation to Aruba," Chris said, slightly irritated. "A real beach. And I'll even put you both on the same flight!"

"Why would you put us on different flights, anyway?" Katie asked, confused.

"It's cheaper," Chris answered, more irritated.

"Wait," Courtney said, confused as well, "multiple people can win?"

"Well, no," Chris answered. "Only one of you will win."

"But you just said that you'll put us both on the same flight," Courtney said, getting a bit flustered. "That indicates more than one winner."

"That's part of the reward," Chris said. "My very own idea to make this show more interesting!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Izzy stupid, lame, forcing me to do it idea, but I might as well take credit for it, anyway. No reason to give Izzy any stupid credit she doesn't deserve.

Izzy: (shaking her head) Did Chris **really **forget that I watch these things?

* * *

"Whoever wins this challenge will get to take the contestant of their choice with them!" Chris exclaimed.

"I'm sure Bridgette would love to surf the beaches of Aruba, so with no offense meant to you, Lindsay, I'll choose Bridgette," Courtney stated matter-of-factly. Bridgette looked embarrassed, though Lindsay looked a bit hurt, and trying to hide it.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I think Courtney likes Bridgette more than me. (Lindsay sighs.) I like to ski on the water too! It just isn't much fun to try here.

Courtney: Logically, it made sense to choose Bridgette over Lindsay, since Bridgette loves surfing, and she would love to use the waves at that location, I'm sure. Right?

Bridgette: I know Courtney meant well, and I don't think Lindsay surfs, but she'd probably love to just relax on the sand and tan.  
Katie: Courtney doesn't always think before she says. I don't either, though. We both have that problem. (Katie starts crying, squeezing Bridgette.) I'm sorry I tried to vote you off and got Geoff kicked off!  
Bridgette: (patting Katie's back) It's OK, really.  
Katie: I still feel bad about it, though.

* * *

"That's not exactly how it's going to work," Chris said. "The winner will get to go on the trip with one of the eliminated--"

"**Noah!**" Katie screamed, leaping up on Chris, hugging him to a degree that he had trouble breathing.

"Get this thing off of me!" Chris yelled, trying to detach Katie from his body, eventually successfully.

"Well, I'd have to choose Duncan," Courtney said, smiling nervously. "He deserves something nice after the torture you put him through, with that hole and all."

"That was Leshawna's fault," Chris said, irritated. Leshawna shrunk back a bit, looking guilty.

"I tend to recall you had involvement in that, as well," Courtney said, smirking.

"Moving on," Chris continued, ignoring Courtney, "choose carefully, because the person you go on the vacation with, aside from being forced to put up with that person, is also coming back into this game."

"I still pick Noah!" Katie exclaimed.

"I still choose Duncan!" Courtney said, somewhat nervous. "I mean, he'd be a useful addition, since we're not competing against--I mean, not on different teams, I… guess."

"What about Heather?" Lindsay asked, worried. "She was kind of voted off unfairish."

"Well, Duncan was too," Courtney said, rubbing her hand against the back of her neck. "I'm sure Heather would want Duncan and I to progress in our relationship, after all."

"Nothin' wrong with Duncan," Leshawna said, looking a bit nervous. "I think he'd be nice for Courtney to bring back. Be able to make out with him… I mean, in private, not in front of us, and--"

"You can stop any time," Courtney said, a bit irritated.

"I can see why you saved her from elimination," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "Such a great friend."

"I really don't think she meant to embarrass Courtney," Bridgette said.

"She knows damn well what I'm talking about!" Gwen shouted. Leshawna ducked back again.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Not that Courtney doesn't deserve it. She's the one who saved Leshawna's butt just to get back at me. Seriously, I'm not into Duncan! It's not my fault he was hitting on me! Why won't she just get off my case about it?!

Cody: Courtney doesn't just forgive people like that. It's pretty obvious that she's only using Leshawna for something. I really hope it's not just to get back at Gwen, but I really don't know. Though it probably would be hot to see Gwen and Courtney getting physical.

Leshawna: Besides, no one really wants Heather back, anyway. That's gonna' be bad for everyone, and poor Lindsay just don't see it. I know, I'm promising not to start anything with her, but she's just gonna' start crap with everyone! You all know it too!

* * *

"Look, 'tis the season not to complain, 'cause you don't want to get on Santa's naughty list, right?" Chris said, irritated. "'Cause only the winner gets on the good list and gets a present, so behave!"

"So what is the challenge, anyway?" Tyler asked. "I can **so **win this… for Lindsay! Um, can she go in my place if I win?"

Chris shrugged. "Don't really care, as long as you don't give your prize to Katie." Katie stuck her tongue out at Chris.

"Then bring it on!" Tyler exclaimed. "No one's faster or stronger than me!" Tyler posed, making 'muscles,' and Leshawna and Courtney tried holding in their laughter, but not very well.

"So you two are making fun of the poor guy now," Gwen said, looking angry, shaking her head. "Typical."

Courtney looked irritated. "Last season, you two were--"

"Not now," Leshawna interrupted, putting a hand on Courtney's shoulder. "Just let her cool off for now." Courtney nodded.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Look, as happy as I am that Courtney's tryin'a help, that was just making things worse there. (Leshawna sighs.) Don't know how I can get Gwen to really forgive me, though.

Tyler: I don't really get what was so funny. I'm strong! (Tyler flexes for the camera, and hurts his arm in the process, and he tries holding in the pain.)

* * *

"The challenge isn't that hard, Tyler," Chris said, shaking his head. "All you have to do is get a present. Everyone knows that Christmas is all about giving, and not receiving."

Leshawna smiled. "Actually, it's about the birth of--"

"Me!" Chris interrupted. "The birth of me, Chris Maclaine! That's why it's called **Chris**-tmas!"

"It's about the birth of Jesus Christ," Leshawna said, shaking her head. "Please tell me your ego ain't that big."

Chris shrugged. "We might offend viewers if we get all religious-y."

"Since when have you cared about offending anyone?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Since taking a stand on religion and politics equals lower ratings," Chris said, irritated. "As long as we keep the celebration commercialized, no one cares."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: OK, that's just wrong! Christmas is all about celebrating the son of God's birth! Why wouldn't we want to actually celebrate that part of it?

Lindsay: I always thought it was nice that Jesus was born on the same day that Santa delivered presents to everyone. I wonder if he decided to be born on that day so he could get presents from Santa when he was born?

* * *

"So everyone, reach into Santa's sack and pull out a name," Chris said. "That's the person you'll have to get a present for. And whoever can get the best present for their person wins the trip, and gets to decide who gets back into the competition!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (looking confused at the name on her slip of paper) Which one's Harold?

Gwen: (tearing up a slip of paper) Stupid lousy Courtney….

Cody: Now, don't get me wrong, I'd love to buy Gwen the world, but I'm worried about sending mixed signals. I mean, I know I want her, and I'd love it if she wanted me too, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to break up her and Trent.

Tyler: Lindsay! I got Lindsay's name! I told everyone that I was gonna' rule this challenge!

Bridgette: I really don't know Tyler well at all. This could be hard.

Courtney: What do I know about Katie? (Courtney thinks it over for several seconds.) Not much, I guess. I need to figure this out somehow.

Harold: I really hope Leshawna doesn't get the wrong impression by my giving her a gift. It's not because I'm desperate for a girlfriend, but merely because I'm desperate to go on a vacation with Heather… my girlfriend whom I'm desperate for.

Leshawna: Bridgette… she's easy to please, right?

Katie: (smirking) Cody… he and Noah like a lot of the same things, right? I think I can handle this.

* * *

"So who will win this challenge?" Chris asked, smiling brightly, looking to the camera while making big gestures. "Which camper will come up with the best present to give to their person?"

"How are we supposed to get the presents, anyway?" Gwen asked sarcastically.

"Not my problem!" Chris proclaimed. "Doesn't matter to me how you get the presents, as long as you get them! But we shall find out how they're going to figure out that little problem when we come back with more _Total Drama Christmas!"_

"You actually said something different?" Gwen asked. "On your own? That's scary."

"What can I say?" Chris asked, smirking. "I like the name of the holiday."

* * *

Originally, this chapter was intended to be posted the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Obviously, I fell behind a bit, but it's still the Christmas season, so it's not too late, even if Christmas Day itself has passed, right?


	34. Day 16, Part 2: Hark! Harold Angel Sings

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 34: Day 16: Part 2: Hark! The Harold Angel Sings**

DJ was enjoying a Lindt chocolate bunny, sitting next to Sadie, who was doing the same, as Noah watched in confusion.

"I don't get it," Noah said. "What do bunnies have to do with Christmas?"

"Bunnies are always good," DJ said, smiling. "And chocolate bunnies just taste good. I mean, I feel a little bit guilty biting its cute little head off, but then I remember that it wasn't alive, and a chocolate bunny wants to be eaten. That's its purpose in life, after all."

"It's purpose in life?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow. "It's a chocolate bunny. It's not alive."

"Still a waste of chocolate not to eat it," DJ said, shrugging.

"I think it's supposed to be a reindeer," Sadie said, a bit confused.

"Nah, it's a bunny," DJ said, smiling. "I eat these things every Easter, and they're definitely bunnies."

"Are there Christmas bunnies?" Sadie asked. "I don't think there's any famous Christmas bunnies." Sadie pulled out a chocolate bunny still wrapped in foil, pointing to the ears. "It has antlers, and it even says 'gold reindeer.'"

DJ shook his head. "It's a bunny, trust me. I've had enough of these at Easter to know a chocolate bunny when I see when."

"But--"

"Look," Noah said, shaking his head, "it's pretty obvious that it's exactly the same as the chocolate bunny, but with a slightly different wrapper." Noah held out a Cadbury Crème Egg in a red wrapper. "It's like saying this supposed ornament isn't just a regular Cadbury Crème Egg in a shiny Christmas wrapper."

Sadie cocked her head. "So we're eating Easter candy?"

"I don't mind," DJ said, shrugging, nibbling on his chocolate bunny.

Eva walked out, looking irritated as she looked at a bunny that was wrapped in foil to look like the American flag. "Why is this stupid bunny dressed up like a stupid American flag? We're not even American!"

"International ratings, most likely," Noah said. "It was Independence Day over there a few days ago. Why they've wrapped obvious bunnies in American flag-disguised foil, on the other hand, you got me."

"Still a bunny," DJ said.

"Heather won't come out," Beth said, walking into the lounge, exasperated. "She really doesn't like this whole Christmas thing."

"She probably gets coal for Christmas," Trent said from across the room, chuckling to himself. "Seriously, she has to be on Santa's naughty list."

Sadie shook her head. "Santa Claus isn't real, you know."

"I know that," Trent said. "I was trying to make a point about how Heather--"

"Wait a minute!" DJ said, worried. "Santa's not real? You're kidding me!"

"You… I'm sorry!" Sadie said, squeezing DJ. "I didn't mean to--"

"Nah, I'm kidding with ya'," DJ said, smiling. "My Mama told me the truth four years ago."

"Still, Heather probably hates Christmas because she hates everything," Trent said. "Probably that simple."

"It's July," Noah stated. "One can hardly blame her for not wanting to celebrate Christmas in July."

"Who wouldn't want Christmas every day?" Trent asked wistfully.

"Someone who's learned the consequences resulting from such action from _Sesame Street,_" Noah said.

"I think something's bothering her," Beth said, worried, looking back.

"Probably because she lost," Trent said. "Remember how crazy she went last year after she was voted off?"

"I don't think that's it," Sadie said, slightly nervous. "I think something's bothering her about Christmas."

"I know," Beth said, looking down. "I wish I could make her feel better."

"Won't work," Trent said. "She's just, like… well, evil."

"Gwen got close to Heather when she was here," Beth said, smirking.

"Gwen wouldn't fall for her tricks," Trent said, looking a bit nervous. "Gwen's smarter than that."

"Gwen didn't fall for anything," Beth said, rolling her eyes. "Heather really is nice." Trent looked worried.

* * *

"Why are we looking in the forest, again?" Courtney asked, following Lindsay looking carefully as she walked through the forest.

"Presents, silly," Lindsay said, smiling back. "They grow on trees, right?"

"This is stupid!" Courtney yelled, irritated. "Where are we supposed to get presents from?!"

"Maybe we can find them!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming. "I think I see a camera up there! Does Harold like cameras?" Lindsay tapped her chin with her finger. "Which one is Harold, anyway? Is she the one who wears that funny hamburger top?"

"Yes, but Harold's a male."

Lindsay looked confused as she tried to figure it out. "You mean she likes getting fan mail?"

Courtney sighed. "No, I mean he's a guy. A man. Or a man-wannabe."

"She's--I mean, he's pretty!" Lindsay exclaimed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Lindsay has a strange definition of pretty. I find Harold a hideous slime ball who doesn't even treat her well! I just hope Lindsay isn't fooled by his outward appearances… which I think **only **Lindsay could be fooled by them.

* * *

"Do you think we'll find a sewing machine in the forest?" Lindsay asked.

Courtney looked confused. "Sewing machine? Lindsay, those aren't usually found in the forest."

"Oh," Lindsay said, looking down. "But does that mean they're occasionally found in the forest?"

Courtney tapped her chin in thought. "Well, I suppose there's always an off chance that someone brought it to the forest for unexplained reasons to sew, and forgot to take it with her when she left the forest." Courtney thought it over a little more. "You know how to sew?"

"Well, no," Lindsay said. "But if we had a sewing machine, you could sew a cute little skirt for Harold!"

"I don't think he would like that," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "He'll probably just use it as ammunition against you."

"Why would he do that?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I thought it would be nice."

"I also think you're supposed to make the gift yourself, and not force others to do your sewing for you," Courtney stated.

Lindsay looked confused, then down. "I guess you don't have to. I can't sew, though. I just thought it would be nice."

Courtney sighed. "You can't just force your friends into doing your own work."

"I wasn't forcing you to," Lindsay said, a bit irritated. "I just thought that friends helped each other."

"I don't much like your tone," Courtney stated, narrowing her eyes. "I have done nothing to deserve this attitude you're presenting to me."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I wish I could tell whether Courtney was using me like Heather was, or if I really did do something that bothered her. I'm not really good at telling the difference. (Lindsay cries a little.)

Courtney: I know that Lindsay is a little, well, stupid--I'm sorry that I can't think of a better way to put that--but she really does need to respect that other people shouldn't have to do everything for her. (Courtney thinks about it for a bit.) Why were we even arguing about a sewing machine that didn't even exist?

* * *

"I need a little alone time, please," Lindsay said, looking down.

"If you're going to be a baby about it, then fine. I don't need you!" Courtney yelled, as she stormed off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: That's the problem with so-called friends: they're looking out for their own interests, and trying to use me for their own personal servant. Everyone turns on me eventually. Just a matter of time before Duncan, Bridgette, and Bridget turn on me. (Courtney's eye twitches.)

Lindsay: I wish I knew what I did wrong. (Lindsay cries a little.)

* * *

Bridgette and Katie were looking through the shed, and Katie sighed. "Do you think Sadie's mad at me?"

Bridgette looked up, confused. "Why would she be upset with you?"

Katie sighed. "When Chris mentioned the trip, and bringing back a contestant to the show, I kinda' said Noah without even thinking about it. If I were Sadie, I wouldn't like it if Katie, who isn't me for this example I guess, chose a boy over me. I mean, over the Sadie-me."

Bridgette giggled for a moment, then tried to get more serious. "I wish I knew Sadie better. She might be happy for you and Noah, or she might be hurt that you didn't think of her. You know Sadie better than I do." Bridgette picked up a chisel and looked at it.

"Are you using that? Thanks!" Courtney exclaimed, as she swiped the chisel from Bridgette's hands.

"I wasn't," Bridgette said, a bit irritated. "Weren't you looking for something with Lindsay?"

Courtney sighed. "I was, but then Lindsay wanted me to make a present for her, and we argued." Courtney shook her head. "She can be so selfish sometimes."

Bridgette looked confused. "What exactly did she say?"

Courtney crossed her arms. "She wanted me to make a present for her! I guess she's too lazy to do it herself."

"She probably wasn't thinking that deeply into it," Bridgette said. "She probably just thought you were friends, and friends sometimes help each other like that."

"She wanted me to go away," Courtney stated. "I just did as Princess Lindsay commanded."

"You might be over-dramatizing it," Bridgette said, smirking. "Really, maybe you should go back to her and try to make up."

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Courtney yelled, defending herself. "I have nothing to apologize for!"

"I didn't say you did," Bridgette said. "I just said you should go and calmly talk to her."

Courtney sighed again, then grabbed some paint she saw. "I'll consider it. Oh, and Chris has wrapping paper, and scissors, and tape set up in front of the cabins."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (shaking her head) She won't consider it.

* * *

Lindsay was walking through the forest carelessly, and tripped over something. "Ow!" Lindsay rubbed her knee, then noticed what she tripped over: a sewing machine, as well as thread. Lindsay looked closely at it, then started using it.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: You're welcome!

Lindsay: I think I got the hang of it… I really hope Harold likes it! (Lindsay thinks for a moment.) Was that thing battery-operated?

* * *

The nine contestants, most of them holding wrapped gifts, were standing before Chris, dressed as Santa, and Chef, dressed as an elf, in front of the cabins. "I see most of you have your presents, so how about we get this Christmas celebration started! Who's going to give the first present of the season?"

"I'll go first," Harold said, smirking. "I have the perfect gift for the beautiful yet evil Leshawna."

"Something small and crappy," Chris said, sounding somewhat bored. "It's in your pocket, I guess?"

"No, it's in my heart," Harold said, as he walked up to Chris. "For the lovely, luscious, loudmouthed, Lex Luthor-like Leshawna, a song." Harold was smiling as he started to sing off-key. "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears--"

Leshawna was ducking down as Chris interrupted. "Yeah, not allowed. Sorry. You're disqualified, I'm afraid."

"What?" Harold asked, confused. "But why?"

"For one, I don't think Leshawna really liked it," Chris said, irritated. "Second, you can't sing at all. Like, at all. And third, and most important, not all of our broadcasters like this sort of thing. In particular, our biggest broadcaster, FFN, strongly despises singing, and could cancel us if we sing."

"But why?" Harold asked, irritated. "That's not fair!"

Chris shrugged. "No one said it was fair. I'd rather the show not get cancelled, though, so I'm afraid that you're out."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Yeah, breaking up with Harold was a mistake. I'm sorry, OK? Why does everyone expect me to be perfect? I'm human too, y'all!

* * *

Bridgette smiled uncomfortably as she walked over to Tyler, holding a small, well-wrapped box. "Merry Christmas, I guess," Bridgette said, handing the box over to Tyler, who eagerly ripped the wrapping paper open, and excitedly took out the present inside.

"It's a baseball!" Tyler exclaimed. "Thank you! I love baseball! It's like one of my favorite sports!"

"That's **my **baseball, fool!" Chef yelled, as he stormed over and snatched the baseball out of Tyler's hands, who looked dejected. "You were in my shed, stealin' my stuff, weren't you?!"

"I thought those were for all of us to use," Bridgette said, nervous. "I didn't know--"

"I didn't know!" Chef yelled, mockingly. "I didn't know! Is that the best pitiful excuse you scumbags can come up with?! I didn't know?! How about askin' first?! 'Chef, could we please use your stuff for the challenge?' And then I'd say '**No! **Christmas is a time for doing things by yourself without any help, fool!' And then you start crying and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside!" Bridgette slowly backed away.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Don't say a word. I know what you're thinking, and it was completely different from my situation in regards to Lindsay! Completely different!

* * *

"May I go next?" Gwen asked, in a sickeningly sweet voice. "I have just the perfect gift for Courtney."

"That was very kind of you," Courtney said, as Gwen handed over a small, well-wrapped box to Courtney, and Courtney began to very carefully and meticulously unwrap the box, while trying to keep the wrapping paper in its shape.

"It's OK to just rip it open, you know," Chris said, looking at his watch.

"There's no reason to be barbaric," Courtney said, smiling. "If I take the wrapping paper off carefully, then I'll be able to reuse it for future purposes."

Gwen, irritated, swiped the box and started ripping the wrapping paper off, then forcefully handed the box back to Courtney. "There! It's off!"

Courtney opened the box, and looked angry when she saw what was inside. "Coal? You're giving **me **coal?!"

"**My **charcoal!" Chef yelled as he stormed over and swiped the box from Courtney, and grumbled as he walked off. "Lousy good-for-nuthin' kids."

Courtney sighed. "Is this really how little you think of me?"

"Like you wouldn't have done the same," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not into Duncan, and I'm not trying to steal him from you, OK? When will you get that through that thick skull of yours?!"

Courtney stood there in shock, and Lindsay stormed up to Gwen, yelling in her face. "What was that for?!"

"Didn't she yell at you earlier, or something?" Gwen asked Lindsay, confused and annoyed.

"Well, yeah," Lindsay said. "She's kind of angry sometimes, but she's not a bad person! And she hasn't done anything to you! At least not since you came back here after you got voted off. I guess Courtney was kind of angry and jealous before then, but she's been good, so why are you being mean to her?!"

"Why is she trying to make my life miserable?!" Gwen yelled.

"She's not!" Lindsay yelled back. "She didn't do anything to you. Since you came back, at least."

"Pointing out a loophole that kept Leshawna on the island while kicking off Trent!" Gwen yelled.

"That wasn't about you!" Lindsay yelled, throwing her hands into the air. "Look, I remember what Leshawna did to you, Greta, and if you want to stay mad at her, then fine! Maybe she deserves it! But Courtney isn't getting along with her just to piss you off! Maybe she realized Leshawna made a big mistake and wants to make up for it! And maybe you need to realize that not everything is about you, and not everyone is trying to get you!" Gwen just stared, a bit frightened.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (crying and hugging Lindsay softly) Thank you.  
Lindsay: Well, she was being kind of mean, and I didn't like seeing her treating you like that.  
Courtney: I'm sorry I lost my temper earlier. I just… I don't know. I know you're a little, well--  
Lindsay: Stupid. I know.  
Courtney: I didn't really want to say that, but I really do need to have more patience.  
Lindsay: It's OK. I promise that I'm not trying to be mean or selfish or anything. Everyone usually loves to do whatever I ask.  
Courtney: I'm not sure they're real friends. (Courtney thinks it over for a few seconds.) I'm not sure I am, either.  
Lindsay: You are. You are.

Bridgette: If Courtney actually had a list, and I doubt anyone really does have one, Lindsay has to be above me now. (Bridgette thinks it over for a few seconds.) Then again, if anyone actually **did **have a list like that, Courtney **would **be the person to make it.

Chef: The nerve, takin' my charcoal like that. How the hecks am I supposed to get the meat all nice and solid black without my charcoal?!

Chris: I was wondering when Lindsay would crack this season. (Chris shakes his head.) She's clearly not stable.

Katie: Did I just see Courtney and Lindsay coming out of the confessional together? Never thought I'd see the day when Courtney shared it with anyone!

* * *

"I've got the perfect gift for you, Lindsay!" Tyler exclaimed, as he presented a small jewelry box to Lindsay.

Lindsay looked a bit nervous. "Thank you, but we're not even adults yet. Maybe we should take our time and not rush. It was really nice, though."

"What?" Tyler asked, confused.

"She thinks you're proposing," Courtney stated flatly. "The jewelry box?"

"Oh, no, I didn't mean that!" Tyler exclaimed nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "It's just… I thought it was a nice jewelry box."

"Oh. Thank you," Lindsay said, looking slightly disappointed. Tyler was disappointed by Lindsay's reaction, and looked down.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Seriously, what kind of guy presents his girlfriend with an empty jewelry box? Noah, you had better not pull that one on me!

Tyler: (looking down) OK, that I probably should've thought out a little better than that. I was just thinking maybe one day I could put something nice inside. I don't know! Don't judge me!

* * *

"Here you go, Cody!" Katie exclaimed, beaming, as she handed over a large box to Cody. "I really hope this one isn't Chef's."

"I hope it is, so I can crush that stupid Christmas spirit!" Chef barked, then angrily crossed his arms. "Christmas in July. Never heard of such a stupid thing in my life."

Katie angrily glared at Chef, then smiled and handed a large, poorly-wrapped box to Cody. "I hope it doesn't completely suck!"

Cody opened the present, and pulled out a few sticks glued together with strings, and small acorns going through the strings. "An abacus?"

"Yes!" Katie exclaimed, squeezing Cody, then releasing him. "I mean, I know how you're like really, really smart, and probably like computers, but we didn't really have supplies to build you a computer--not that I knew how to build one, anyway--but then I realized that calculators were like computers, and abacuses--is that a word--are like calculators that you don't need batteries for!"

"Thank you," Cody said, mostly being polite.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: Well, Chef let me keep it, and, well… it's not very pretty. Still, it was surprisingly thoughtful, and considering the limited stuff we could actually make, I guess it wasn't really that bad.

Katie: I don't think Cody liked it that much.  
Bridgette: You can't really make him like it.  
Katie: It was crap. I didn't know what else to get him, though. I bet Noah would've insulted me if I gave him that.  
Bridgette: Well… he probably would've. It's kind of awkward when you get a present you don't like, though. Cody did the best he could, really.  
Katie: (leaning her head sadly on Bridgette's shoulder) I guess….

* * *

"Here you go, Gwen," Cody said, handing Gwen a small, poorly-wrapped box. Gwen tore it open, and saw a picture frame inside of Trent and Gwen together.

"Thank you, Cody," Gwen said, genuinely smiling. "That's really sweet. I'm surprised you had a picture with Trent, though."

"Yeah," Cody said, rubbing his shoulder. "Surprising."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I brought a few pictures of Gwen with me here. One of them happened to have Trent in it, too. I actually hadn't noticed him in that one before, either. Heh. Go figure.

* * *

"Well, I think Cody's winning so far," Chris said, smiling. "My money's on Eva coming back. Hope you guys hadn't pissed her off, 'cause I remember how awesome it was last season when Eva came back, and threatened Bridgette's very life." Chris wiped a tear from his eye. "Ah, good memories."

"Eva's not so bad, really," Bridgette said, smiling. "She really is managing her anger better."

"For your sake, I hope you're… well, I hope you're wrong anyway, 'cause it'll be more fun to watch her tear you limb from limb for destroying your cabin!" Chris exclaimed, then chuckled to himself. "Who's up next, anyway?"

"I'll go next!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming, as she rushed up to Katie with a very-badly wrapped box. "Open it! Open it! You'll love it, Harold!"

Katie raised an eyebrow. "I'm not Harold."

Harold sighed and crossed his arms. "I'm Harold."

"Wait," Lindsay said, confused, "Courtney said Harold was the one who wore the Hamburger top."

"Hamburger top?" Katie asked, contorting her face, then pointed to her shirt. "This is a hamburger top?"

"Well, Courtney said Harold wore that Hamburger top," Lindsay said, confused.

"I thought you meant his hamburger shirt," Courtney said, pointing over to Harold.

"That's not a hamburger! Gosh!" Harold said, irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I didn't get it. Did Courtney make a mistake? She said Harold had the Hamburger top, like the Hambuger from McDonald's wears, the black and white stripes, and he steals hamburgers? He seems kind of mean, really, but Courtney said that was Kelly. (Lindsay rubs her forehead.) It was **so **confusing.

Harold: Seriously, it's not a hamburger! Idiot!

Katie: (confused) Not once have I ever associated this top with a hamburger. Am I out of the loop? Lindsay's part of the in crowd, right? Maybe it's the new lingo.

* * *

"Lindsay, you need to give your present to Harold," Chris said, irritated.

"You're not Harold?" Lindsay asked hesitantly to Katie, who shook her head.

"Sorry," Katie said, smiling. "That's Harold, over there, with the pink hamburger on his shirt."

"It's not a hamburger!" Harold yelled, as Lindsay gulped, then walked over to him.

"Merry Christmas?" Lindsay asked nervously as she handed the gift to Harold, who opened it, and saw a pink mini-skirt.

"A mini-skirt? You're giving me a mini-skirt?" Harold asked, irritated.

"I… thought I was supposed to make something for her," Lindsay said, worriedly pointing to Katie. "I'm sorry, Harold. I really, really didn't mean to get you--I mean, I know you wouldn't like it. Please don't get mad at me."

Harold sighed. "You called me Harold."

"Did I get your name wrong?" Lindsay asked, worried, cowering down a bit. "I'm sorry, Harold--I mean, what is your name?"

"Harold. It is Harold," Harold said. "You actually got it right."

"I did?" Lindsay asked, confused, then lit up and squeezed Harold. "I did! Yay me!"

"You're choking me," Harold said, gasping for air.

"I'm sorry," Lindsay said, smiling innocently as she let Harold go.

Harold sighed. "I don't think I'll ever wear this skirt, but thank you for trying to be nice, I guess. Maybe you're not like Autumn."

"Or maybe I am," Lindsay said, smiling.

"That's not really a good thing," Harold said, blinking.

"I don't know about that," Lindsay said, stroking her chin.

"Um, can I have the skirt?" Katie asked awkwardly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (posing for the confessional) This really is a great skirt! Who knew Lindsay could sew like this? Thank you, Lindsay, thank you!

Courtney: (wide-eyed, confused) She really did find a sewing machine in the forest?

* * *

Chris looked at Courtney and Leshawna. "Which of you two want to go next?"

Courtney smiled. "Well, since I believe that the best should be saved for last, I invite Leshawna to precede me."

"Ha, ha," Leshawna said, smirking. "We'll see who's present is the best. Bridgette, I know you're kinda' mad at me."

"It's OK," Bridgette said, smiling. "I mean, not that I really like what you did, but it would be wrong of me to hold a grudge if you're trying to make things right."

"Thank you," Leshawna said, smiling. "Still, I think I have something really nice for you. I'll go get it!" Leshawna rushed off, and Bridgette and the others were wondering where she was going. Bridgette was grinning widely when she saw Leshawna returning with a long, flat thing, wrapped as decently as one could expect something so large to be wrapped. "Here ya' go, hon!"

"Is this what I think it is?" Bridgette asked, as her eyes were wide as she was eagerly ripping the wrapping paper open. "It is! It's a surf board! You got me a surf board!"

"I hope you don't have too many of those," Leshawna meekly asked.

"Are you kidding? You can't have too many of these!" Bridgette exclaimed, then glomped Leshawna. "This is awesome! Thank you! You made it yourself?"

"Harold helped me a little," Leshawna said, nervous. "For such a scrawny kid, he sure knows a lot about surf boards. And a lot of other things."

"Seriously, this is so awesome!" Bridgette exclaimed. "I can't wait to try this one out!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: On second thought, maybe I should have allowed myself to go before Leshawna. That one was going to be difficult to beat.

Bridgette: Really, Leshawna's a good person. She was just blinded by revenge for a while. It was a shame, but I'd hate to just stay mad at her forever. She's sorry she did it, and I'm not really good at staying mad at people, anyway. (Bridgette winks for the camera.) The surf board doesn't hurt either.

* * *

"And last but not least, here is my gift to you, Katie," Courtney said, smiling. Katie tried to rip open the perfect-looking wrapping paper, but was having trouble. "You can rip it if you like. I won't force you to take it off neatly if you don't like."

"It's not that," Katie said, looking embarrassed. "I'm having trouble getting the wrapping paper off. It's so tight against the box, or something."

"I try my hardest," Courtney said, smiling.

"I mean, it's a little too tight," Katie said, embarrassed. "Can you help me open it?"

Courtney sighed as she started slowly opening the wrapping paper up. "It's really not that hard."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Well, that was a waste of time. Why would anyone wrap presents like that? Takes forever to get the stupid wrapping paper off!

Leshawna: I got to give girl credit there. When she has kids, there's no way they're going to be able to sneak open their presents before Christmas, I'll tell you!

* * *

"Wonder what's inside?" Katie asked, excited that she and Courtney had finally managed to remove the box from the wrapping paper, though Katie was having trouble with the box as well, trying to get her fingernails under the tape. "You didn't really need to tape the box so well."

"I don't know," Courtney said. "I always thought opening the presents was part of the fun."

"That might be too much of a good thing, though," Bridgette said, snickering a little. Everyone watched until Katie finally managed to open the box.

"Eeeiii!" Katie squealed as she glomped Courtney. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

"What was it?" Lindsay asked. "I didn't see what it was."

"The most perfect present ever!" Katie exclaimed, as she let go of Courtney, and picked something off of the ground.

"What is it?" Leshawna asked, squinting. "I really need to get me some contact lenses."

"It's three little stone figurines!" Katie exclaimed. "One of Noah, one of Sadie, and one of me! You're really talented, Courtney!"

"Yes I am," Courtney said, smiling. "Thank you, still."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Almost slipped there. It's difficult not to brag about my many wonderful qualities, though. I mean, I can do anything.

* * *

"Give me those!" Chef yelled, as he swiped the three stone figurines from Katie. "Stealin' from me again, no-good kids."

"I found those rocks in the forest!" Courtney yelled.

"I know that!" Chef yelled. "You think I don't know that? You didn't get the paint from the forest, though!"

Courtney was about to yell, but backed down. "I'm sorry. Could you please allow Katie to keep the figurines, though?"

"No!" Chef barked.

Courtney sighed, then rolled up her sleeves. "Do we really have to go through this?"

Chef looked nervous, then threw the figurines at Katie. "Fine, keep 'em! Leave me alone and you can have 'em!"

"Thank you for being reasonable," Courtney said, smirking. Katie glomped Courtney again.

Chris shook his head. "Regardless of Chef being too cowardly to face Courtney for the figurines--"

"Like to see you fight her, skinny boy!" Chef screamed, angry.

Chris reeled back, angry. "Point is, it was an illegal entry, and as such, we cannot count Courtney's present, meaning the winner of this competition is Leshawna, and her surf board for Bridgette!"

"Thank you!" Leshawna exclaimed, smiling brightly.

"Bah, humbug," Gwen said, looking the other way, crossing her arms. "Shouldn't have even been survived the last ceremony."

"Well-played, Leshawna," Courtney said, extending her hand for a handshake. "You did good. I hope you choose Duncan to bring back, but I will respect your choice, regardless of whom you select. I mean, as long as it's not Justin."

"Justin? You trippin' girl?" Leshawna asked, smirking. "You don't think that little of me, do ya'?"

"I know you're better than that," Courtney said, smiling.

"I was actually going to take--mmph!" Chef had duct-taped Leshawna's mouth shut.

"What was that for?!" Courtney yelled.

Chris shrugged. "Why spoil the surprise? If everyone knows who Leshawna wants to take on her trip, then no one's going to tune in next time. We have to end on a cliffhanger to keep our viewers interested!"

"Chris, they love the show," Courtney stated. "They'll tune in regardless."

"Probably, but it's more fun this way!" Chris exclaimed, as Chef carried Leshawna off to a nice boat docked at the Dock of Shame. "Leshawna is about to take a nice vacation in Aruba, but who will she choose to go with her? And which contestant will she choose to bring back into the game, bringing us up to our official final ten?"

"They're the same person," Courtney stated, smirking.

"If I want to ask the same question twice in two different ways, I get to ask the same question twice two different ways, so nya!" Chris pouted, making a pig nose at Courtney. "Who will Leshawna bring back to the game? Find out next time, on _Total Drama--"_

Courtney tackled Chris before he finished, but no one else finished the line. "One of you guys was supposed to fill in that blank there."

"Oh, yeah," Lindsay said, a bit lost. "Uh, Leshawna? I mean, she won and all. _Total Drama Leshawna?"_

Courtney nodded. "That sounds good to me."

Chris got up, grumbled, and walked away, dusting himself off. "You guys suck."

"Have fun, Leshawna!" Courtney shouted, waving as Leshawna was put on the boat by Chef. "Be sure to tell us all about it when you get back!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I don't really like that Leshawna won, being such an awful person, but I am curious who she would bring back. Does anyone like her, except for Courtney. (Cody thinks about it for a few seconds.) I still don't really understand why Courtney likes her.

* * *

"Are you OK, Gwen?" Bridgette asked, concerned, seeing Gwen sitting on a rock near the forest.

"Leshawna winning the prize, Courtney cheating to keep Leshawna on the island just to make me miserable--"

"Wait," Bridgette said, a little irritated. "Courtney cheated to save Leshawna?"

Gwen sighed. "Courtney pointed out some stupid loophole that wound up getting Trent voted off the island, even though Leshawna had more votes."

"I really don't think she did it to spite you."

"Why else would she be so chummy with Leshawna?" Gwen asked. "Courtney was jealous when she thought Duncan and I had something going on, and she probably still thinks we have something going on, so she's pretending to like Leshawna to get back at me."

"I'm pretty sure she's not pretending to get along with Leshawna," Bridgette said, concerned. "She genuinely likes her. I'm not sure she knows why. I think her mind is telling her of all the things Leshawna did, but deep down, there's some reason that Courtney likes her."

Gwen started crying. "I owe Courtney an apology, don't I?"

"I would," Bridgette said, putting her hands in her pockets. "That's up to you, though."

Gwen sighed. "I just don't understand it. Didn't she nearly kill Courtney?"

"I don't think she intended to break Courtney's leg," Bridgette said. "It also wasn't quite that severe, but if Courtney's willing to look past that, I don't think we should stop her from forgiving Leshawna."

Gwen sighed and looked up to the sky. "You're right. I hate it, but you're right."

"Exactly how did Courtney cheat?" Bridgette asked. "That really doesn't sound like her."

"Since Leshawna wasn't there for any part of the challenge, Courtney pointed out a rule to Chris that she couldn't be voted off, since she was kind of locked away."

"That's not exactly unfair," Bridgette said, patting Gwen's knee.

"It wasn't fair what Leshawna did to us, either," Gwen said, then sighed. "I really do need to apologize to Courtney. She seems to be in an unusually forgiving mood lately."

"She's changed a bit from last year," Bridgette said, smiling.

* * *

"They're pretty bad gifts," Heather said, as she and the other losers were waiting in the lounge at the Playa' des Losers.. "I mean, I'd love to get forty golden rings, don't get me wrong, but what would I do with all… um, how many birds did you say, Noah?

"One hundred eighty-four birds," Noah said. "You could open your own aviary with all those birds."

"What's a calling bird, anyway?" Sadie asked, smiling brightly. "Do they like have little cell phones?"

"Blackbirds, basically," Noah stated.

"So why are they called calling birds, anyway?" Sadie asked, crossing her arms. "That's kinda' stupid."

"No birds are stupid, really," DJ said, smiling. "All birds are great!"

"I like birds too," Owen said. "Especially the delicious ones."

"I've hunted birds, too!" Izzy exclaimed, bouncing around a bit. "In fact, a couple of years ago, for Christmas, I actually gave him thirty hens with little berets on them! Oui! Oui!"

"We could always use more chickens, eh?" Ezekiel said, smiling.

"Turns out that people who live in apartment buildings don't really like getting lots of birds." Izzy shrugged nonchalantly. "Go figure."

"Shocking," Eva said, rolling her eyes. "Don't know what his problem was."

"Oh, I know!" Izzy exclaimed, waving her hand dismissively. The ex-contestants then looked over to the entrance as they heard the door open.

"OK, you guys," Chris said, entering the room. "Leshawna has made her pick."

* * *

So Leshawna won the challenge! And she is going to take… well, that's a good question. Who is she going to take? Ooh, cliffhanger!


	35. Day 17, Part 1: Betty and Veronica

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 35: Day 17: Part 1: Betty and Veronica**

Leshawna was looking over the rail of the nice boat, nervously tapping the rail as she waited for one of the ex-contestants to get to the boat and become an ex-ex-contestant. Leshawna had started to nervously pace for bit, looking sick, and nervously walked over to the boarding spot, as she finally saw Chef walk out, rubbing his head as if it were sore. Chef then angrily went back into the Playa' des Losers, and screaming was heard, coming from inside. "Maybe I made a mistake," Leshawna said, nervously watching and listening, as Chef once again came out, dragging Heather, kicking and screaming, to the boat.

"It's not a joke, fool!" Chef yelled, tossing Heather in front of the boat. "I don't know why she chose you! She just chose you!"

Heather sighed, looked to Chef nervously, then climbed onto the boat, where Leshawna had extended her hand. Heather looked at Leshawna's hand quizzically.

"I'm sorry," Leshawna said sincerely. "I don't really like you, but--"

"There's a surprise," Heather said, rolling her eyes, and crossing her arms, and started speaking mockingly. "And here I thought you framed me up because you cared."

"Well, yeah," Leshawna said. "I mean, look, it was wrong, OK? I was, well, you."

"So glad you still see me like that," Heather said, rolling her eyes again.

"It was wrong," Leshawna said, looking guilty, rubbing the back of her neck. "I was wrong. Should've never stooped to your--I mean, that level."

Heather continued to look at Leshawna suspiciously. "So what do you really want?"

Leshawna sighed. "You deserve another chance. It was wrong, really wrong, what I did to you, and getting you kicked off like that, trying to turn everyone against you… it was wrong." Heather continued to glare suspiciously. "Courtney's a really nice girl. Infuriating at times, but a really nice girl, and she really believes that you've changed."

"I **have **changed," Heather said, looking irritated.

"Look, I'm not sayin' that you have or you haven't," Leshawna said. "I really want to give you a chance, still." Leshawna was looking guilty. "I don't think I really wanted you to change. It was just easier to hate you. You were just like every other white girl who wanted to mess with me."

Heather looked a bit guilt herself. "Technically, I'm not a white girl."

Leshawna sighed. "Maybe you're not, but it still be a whole lot easier for you than for me. Ain't nearly as much… Asian hate?"

"Japanese, but I guess I can't expect everyone to know."

"Well, still, you don't ever hear of any Japanese getting lynched."

"They still do that?" Heather asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"I sure hope not!" Leshawna said. "Really, though, I'm not sayin' that I really have any excuse, but girls like you hurt me bad. Just some poor worthless scum infecting society."

"I promise that I've never disliked you because of your race," Heather said, smiling a bit, raising her right hand.

"Gangsta' rapper wannabe?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow.

Heather looked guilty again. "I didn't exactly… or I didn't… I don't think I dislike… African Canadians? You're not exactly African American, not being American and all."

"Black is fine," Leshawna said.

"I didn't really dislike you for that, though," Heather said. "I mean, I didn't really like anyone else last year, either. Except--" Heather stopped herself short, confused. "Actually though, I did like DJ. Or I didn't actively dislike him, at least." Heather let out a nervous chuckle. "I promise that I was not really aware that any dislike I had for you might've been because you were black, though. Maybe that was a part of it. I don't know. But I do know that, unlike everyone else, I had a legitimate reason for my intense dislike of you."

"Look, I know I framed you for spreading Gwen's diary around, and that was wrong, but you were cruel to me last year, too," Leshawna said, a bit irritated.

"I don't really regret that, either," Heather stated, irritated. "Gwen certainly didn't deserve the crap I did to her, but you kind of did."

Leshawna's eye was twitching, and she took deep breaths before continuing. "I'll try to understand this. I'll try to understand this. But please do explain to me why you feel what you did to Gwen was wrong, but what you did to me was deserved. And I will **try **not to rip your head off."

"How comforting," Heather stated, nonchalant. "You really don't know, though."

"Should I?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You weren't exactly innocent last year either, you know," Heather stated.

"What you talkin' about?" Leshawna asked. "I didn't do nuthin' to you!"

"Getting covered in raw sewage was fun," Heather said.

Leshawna sighed. "OK, let me rephrase that. I didn't do nuthin' to you, except when you were pickin' on my friends."

"Like how I was being **oh so mean **to Gwen when you threw me off the thousand-foot cliff," Heather said, rolling her eyes. "How cruel and callous I was, being deathly afraid of a suicidal jump." Heather started mockingly slapping her hand. "Bad Heather. Bad, bad Heather. But it was OK when Beth was scared. Didn't want to throw her off the cliff."

Leshawna looked a bit guilty again. "Beth was scared."

"So was I!" Heather shouted, throwing her hands into the air.

"What you talkin' about?" Leshawna asked again. "You just didn't want to get your hair wet!"

"Of course I didn't!" Heather shouted. "It was also terrifying! Why would I want the viewing public, who I wanted to **adore **me, think that I was afraid of a little suicidal jump?! Of course I didn't want anyone to think I was scared! And plus, yeah. I didn't want to get my hair wet. It looks better dry."

Leshawna looked unsure of what to say next. "Well, you was still mean to everyone."

"Yes I was," Heather said. "I regret that, and I can't change what I did. I'm sorry. But it didn't really matter. I could have been the sweetest girl in the world, but you had preconceived notions of what I was like. I mean, you were right, but you never gave me a chance in the first place." Heather looked down. "Just like I didn't give Gwen a chance."

"Or me," Leshawna said.

"Well, no. I didn't really give you or anyone else a chance. I only truly despised you and Gwen, though. Gwen because of who I thought she was, and you because of who you thought I were. Except, as it turns out, no one cared about me. I was the villain! Great editing job!"

"Wait, what?" Leshawna asked, confused.

"The show made you look like the nice girl who could do no wrong! They made me look like the most horrible person in the world! It's truly amazing how they could make it look like everything was my fault!" Heather started speaking in a goofy voice. "Hey, look at me! I'm showing my boobs to Leshawna's guy on purpose, just to piss her off, even though not even Leshawna knew he liked her at the time!" Or "I don't know how, and I don't know why, but Heather plotted DJ's boot, so let's play a mean prank on her, even though poor Heather didn't do anything wrong, and even tried telling DJ it was me. Oh, how evil that was of me."

Leshawna was rubbing her neck again. "Yeah, that really surprised me. Thought for sure when I saw that episode, I was gonna' be seein' you scaring him on purpose."

Heather took a deep breath. "I didn't like Gwen. I didn't like you. I didn't really dislike Beth or Lindsay until they turned on me… not that I exactly liked them before that point, but they were useful, and I didn't despise them, either. I didn't really care about most of you one way or the other. I was completely selfish, and I was a bully to **one **person. Duncan was also a bully to **one **person, yet he was the most loved contestant on the show last season? Me, though, who was also a bully to **one **person? Inexplicably the most hated contestant. Heck, you treated Duncan a lot better than you treated me, even though he picked on Harold!"

"And Beth and Lindsay?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't bully them," Heather said. "I mean, I wasn't exactly nice, but they were, well, sort of, well… I wasn't trying to bully them. I just… I guess, technically, I did. So I guess that's what made Duncan Mister Nice Guy. Nice to know."

Leshawna smiled. "Look, I didn't mean to make it a competition. You had a point. Duncan was mean too, and I did treat him a lot better than I treated you. I'm not sayin' what you did to Gwen was right, but I guess I wasn't that much better, either." Leshawna started laughing a little. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I was better. Just, well, not better by enough."

"Not this year," Heather said, raising an eyebrow.

Leshawna smiled a guilty smile. "Yeah, not this year. I just wanted to protect Gwen, though."

"Protect her by spreading her personal, private life around?" Heather asked, keeping her eyebrow raised. "Funny how no one thought I was doing it to help Gwen when I did that last year."

"It was a mistake," Leshawna said. "I was a little too gung ho to get you kicked off, and I kind of… I swear, I didn't mean to hurt Gwen! I just… I don't really have an excuse. Shoulda' just waited for you to mess up on your own."

"It wasn't going to happen," Heather said, smiling slightly. "I mean, I'm not perfect, and I did hurt Sadie a bit a few days ago, but I'm trying, and I am not the same girl I was last year. Gwen and I are even friends!"

"No you're not," Leshawna said, a bit irritated. "Gwen would never be friends with you!"

"You'll see when we get back," Heather said, still smiling. "So again, if you still don't like me, why did you decide to go on this trip with me, and bring me back into the game?"

"Courtney and Lindsay like you for some reason, and even though I just know you was up to somethin', you didn't do anything yet, and I felt bad about that. I kind of cheated to get you kicked off, and you didn't deserve that. And I was hopin', maybe, we might be able to tolerate each other, since I don't think we're never gonna' like each other."

"I can accept that," Heather said, smiling, extending her hand. "That was kind of you. Thank you." Leshawna smiled and the two shook hands.

* * *

A fairly short girl with curly dark brown hair going past her shoulders, heavily eye shadowed eyes, and slightly tanned skin was standing next to Chris: Nicole. Chris was standing next to her, making grand gestures as he started speaking. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris--_"

"That really is a terrible name," Nicole stated.

"You want camera time, then behave," Chris said, looking irritated, before putting a big smile back on. "Last time, we celebrated Christmas, which, of course, is a celebration of me! Chris Maclaine!" Nicole rolled her eyes, and Chris shot her a quick look. "The contestants had to get presents for each other, a grand Christmas tradition, of course. Some contestants gave crappy gifts, like Courtney. I mean, not only did she steal Chef's paint--and that hurt him on the inside, let me tell you--but she didn't even bother making a Chris figurine! I mean, hello! Katie would've certainly loved one of me more than anything!"

"I thought you hated Katie," Nicole said, raising an eyebrow.

"I do," Chris stated, irritated. "That doesn't necessarily mean she hates me, though, and really, how could she? Everyone loves me!"

"I'm not so sure about that," Nicole said, looking at Chris suspiciously.

"Look, everyone except these twenty-two **very **ungrateful contestants loves me. Why they don't like me, I don't know, but most people love me, and rightfully believe that Lindsay should fall madly in love with me. I'm still waiting for that to happen."

"Ever think of not making fun of Lindsay?" Nicole asked, raising her eyebrow again.

Chris shrugged. "She too stupid to know I'm making fun of her, anyway. Still, back on topic, Leshawna gave out the best present: a hand-carved surfboard for Bridgette, because apparently, she has enough space for hundreds of surfboards. Didn't know she lived in a mansion."

"Are you actually acknowledging that Bridgette is not Lindsay?" Nicole asked, smirking.

"No!" Chris yelled. "Bridgette lives in a mansion and she's an imbecilic zillionaire, and she also lives in a run down little shack throwing red paint on me for enjoying a hamburger!"

"Just making sure you know which is which," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

"Of course I do," Chris said. "Bridgette's the ugly one."

"Bridgette? Ugly? You're kidding, right?"

Chris looked irritated. "I don't kid when it comes to matters of such importance as outer beauty. I take the subject very seriously. **Very.**" Chris turned on his smile again as he continued. "Anyway, Leshawna won, and she's going to Aruba with one of the contestants who were kicked off the show earlier in the season. And that lucky contestant will also become an official in-game contestant upon his or her return."

"I really don't know who she picked," Nicole said, smiling. "As well as she's been getting along with Courtney, she could bring Duncan back to be nice. Or she might bring Trent back to try to get back on Gwen's good side."

"No one really cares for your commentary," Chris said, glaring at her, then putting back on his large smile. "But they care for mine! Who did Leshawna choose? How did Leshawna choose? And why did Leshawna choose?"

"Those are pretty stupid questions," Nicole said, rolling her eyes again.

"They're going to fall out of your head if you keep doing that," Chris said, annoyed, then put his smile on once more. "Who is going to comprise of our final final ten? And which of our contestants has the most talent? Lindsay, of course. But who will win this week, and be spared from elimination? And who will be going home crying to Mommy? Find out coming up now, on _Total Drama Chris!"_

"Still a terrible name," Nicole said, crossing her arms.

"You're still not a contestant, and you still don't matter," Chris said, grinning.

* * *

Lindsay was slowly waking up from a restful night's sleep, stretching as she slowly woke up, and noticed a little shiny red-wrapped box next to her. Lindsay picked up the box, and looked at a small tag attached to it. "To Lindsay, from Santa," Lindsay said, and scratched her head, and smiled brightly after a few seconds. "Santa was here!" Lindsay jumped out of bed and shook Courtney to wake her up. "Santa was here last night!"

"Really?" Courtney asked, smiling brightly herself. "That's great! What did he give you?"

"I don't think it's for me," Lindsay said, scratching her head again. "The present is for Lindsay." Lindsay looked confused for a moment, then slapped her face. "Oh yeah! I'm Lindsay! It's for me! Yay!" Lindsay looked a little worried. "I hope Santa didn't mind that I didn't leave out cookies or milk, but I didn't know that it was Christmas! I thought it was just make-believe Christmas."

"I… guess Santa didn't know that," Courtney said, shrugging. "I guess we were so convincing, that Santa believed this to be the real Christmas."

"It's OK, Santa!" Lindsay said, smiling brightly. "I make mistakes like that, too!" Lindsay tried to open her present, but was having trouble. "This is pretty tightly wrapped. Santa doesn't usually make my presents so hard to open. It's like how you wrapped Kelly's present." Lindsay tapped her chin in thought. "Wait a minute! Santa was watching when you wrapped Kelly's present, and he must have liked it so much, that he wanted to start wrapping presents just like you!"

"Yeah," Courtney said, a bit uneasy. "Guess you've figured Santa Claus out. I can help you open it if you're having trouble."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: That was a rather sickening sweet display while I was trying to sleep, but still, this was the girl I hated? I really hadn't noticed Courtney had such a sweet side to her before. I don't know… I'm more used to thinking of her as that bossy, friendless girl.

Bridgette: I knew last season how nice Courtney could be. I wish she would've shown it more last year, but she's been doing just that this year. I really think that Lindsay's helped there… Lindsay's been trying so hard, and Courtney almost seems like a protective big sister. I couldn't have really done that.

* * *

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming as she glomped Courtney, accidentally pulling her down from her bed, and Courtney landed on top of Lindsay. "Ouch! That hurt!"

"You pulled me… how is there a way to word this that doesn't sound inappropriate?" Courtney asked.

"That wasn't Courtney's fault," Bridgette said, smiling from her bed. "It was kind of your fault, actually."

"Oh," Lindsay said. "I'm sorry you hurt me!" Lindsay glomped Courtney again. "And I love it!"

"What is it, anyway?" Bridgette asked, curious.

"A little me figurine!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Sort of like the ones Courtney gave to Katie, only these are even better, because Santa's elves must have worked overtime just so Santa could send this one to me!"

"Santa?" Bridgette asked, smiling. "It's not really Christmas, you know."

"I know that, silly," Lindsay said, waving her hand dismissively. "But Santa didn't know that! Santa must have got confused, and so he sent me this present, and Courtney gave Santa the idea for the present, so thank you too, Courtney!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I don't know… it's kind of cute that Lindsay believes Santa gave her that figurine. I do feel a little left out, but I'm not jealous, I promise! I realize Lindsay isn't me, and she does need more attention than I do.

Tyler: OK, Santa obviously isn't real, but I wonder who played Santa. (Tyler thinks about it for several seconds.) I can't figure it out.

Katie: I'm just happy me and Bridgette don't have to sleep outside anymore. No more teams means no more forcing us to sleep on the cold, hard ground! Never thought I'd miss the cabins, really.

* * *

"Baseball's not really my best sport," Tyler said, nervous, to his roommates. "I know you guys might think I'm great at ever sport, but baseball gives me some trouble."

"That's not really surprising," Cody said, twiddling his fingers.

"You could tell?" Tyler asked, surprised.

"It's not that, exactly," Cody said, nervous. "It's that, well, you're really not very good at any sports."

"Aw, come on!" Tyler said, defensive. "I may have trouble hitting the ball with the bat without hitting my head, but I can really kick butt in other sports!"

"Which ones?" Cody asked.

"Like football! I'm the lead fourteenth string quarterback on my team! I even have an eighty percent completion rating!"

"Really?" Cody asked, perking up a bit.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: Well, kind of. It's more like I fumbled the ball four times out of the five I was let on the field, and the other team did sort of recover the ball those four times.

* * *

"I can break a hundred in golf!" Tyler exclaimed. "One time, I even got over two hundred!"

"Two hundred?" Cody asked, and chuckled nervously. "That's actually pretty bad. Low scores are better."

"Well, once I got a fifty-eight in bowling," Tyler said, a bit uneasy.

"Well, everyone's allowed a bad game every once in a while," Cody said. "What's the highest you've got?"

"Fifty-eight was the highest," Tyler said, looking down. "Really, I'm not that good at any sports."

"Whereas I am a master of them all," Harold stated, getting up from his bed. "Once I got a fifty-two in golf. I could become a pro, but I wouldn't want the publicity."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: How much do you want to bet the fifty-two was for miniature golf?

* * *

"Not everyone's good at sports," Cody said. "There's nothing wrong with that."

Tyler sighed. "But I have to be good! Sports are in my blood! I can feel it!"

Harold shook his head as he put his hand on Tyler's shoulder. "This is something you must accept. You just really aren't that good."

"I need to be good, though!" Tyler exclaimed, worried. "Harold, you've got mad skills, right? You can teach me, right?"

"I could," Harold said, looking proud of himself. "There could be no teacher better than I."

"That'll be awesome!" Tyler exclaimed, pumping his fists. "I don't want to disappoint Lindsay! She might dump me if she realized I was bad at sports."

"I'm not sure Lindsay cares about that," Cody said, nervous.

"She cares," Harold said, nodding. "Believe me, Autumn cares."

"Lindsay isn't Autumn, you know," Tyler said, skeptical. Harold backed down. "But still, I know what she first saw in me. A big, tough jock who could save her from evil cockroaches."

"Didn't Duncan kill that?" Cody asked, a bit confused.

"I could've killed it too, though!" Tyler insisted. "Lindsay thought it was sweet, and she likes thinking of me as this big, tough, muscular guy."

"One needn't be muscular to be tough," Harold said. "In fact, my natural slim physique allows me great maneuverability, quite necessary for the many feats I am able to accomplish." Tyler blinked in confusion, then looked to Cody, who shrugged. "It's true! I am a jack of many talents."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: That I don't pick on Harold is probably the ultimate sign that I'm a failure as a jock. (Tyler sighs.)

Cody: Tyler doesn't really need sports skill. I mean, I don't really have any sports skill, either, and I've certainly attracted my share of the ladies. I've heard rumors of one fan who's so obsessed with me that some people say she freaks them out… Sarah, or Sheila, or something like that? If she's this freaky, though, she's probably my kind of girl. (Cody's eyes go wide.) Eva, please don't kill me!

* * *

"All right, Tyler," Cody said, as he, Tyler, and Harold, a short distance away, were in a clearing near the campsite. "Now, after I snap the ball to you, I'm going to try to tackle you."

"I don't really think you can tackle me," Tyler said, chuckling a bit.

Cody thought it over for a bit. "You're right. I'll be right back." Cody hurried off to the girls' cabin, leaving Tyler a bit confused. Tyler could soon see Cody being glomped by Katie, and Tyler winced. Katie then rushed back, dragging Cody behind.

"Cody said you boys needed me," Katie said innocently, putting her finger to her lip. "You boys needed someone who could **tackle** you!" Katie leapt and tackled Tyler upon utterance of the word 'tackle.' "That's what you want to avoid."

"I kinda' knew not to get tackled," Tyler said, rolling his eyes. "I may not be the greatest athlete ever, but I know the game!"

"Fair enough," Katie said, smirking. "I'll be… um, one of the defense people. Do they have names? It's not like anyone cares about the defense guys. Everyone cares about the offense peeps, especially the quarterback. Everyone loves quarterbacks! Noah should play football! He could be like the guy who carries those funny rulers with the letter O on top!"

"You're going on a bit long," Tyler said, a bit annoyed.

"Oh, sorry," Katie said, smiling brightly. "I do that sometimes when I get excited, and doing a bit of roughing up can raise the ol' adrenaline. Heh, heh, innocent smile."

"Are you both ready?" Cody asked. Tyler and Katie nodded, then got in position, with Tyler behind Cody, and Katie in front. Cody snapped the ball, but it didn't reach Tyler.

Katie shook her head. "Tyler ain't the only one bad at this, is he?"

"I'm a bit out of practice," Cody said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"And how in-practice were you before?" Katie asked, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I'm starting to forget why I wanted Katie there with us.

* * *

Cody successfully snapped the ball, and Tyler caught it, and threw the ball right before Katie pounced on him.

"OK, that would've been a penalty," Cody said. "Intentional grounding."

"Isn't that what I was supposed to do?" Katie asked, confused. "Or do you mean football players can still get grounded? I would've thought they'd have been old enough that their parents couldn't cruelly do that to them anymore."

"That's not exactly what intentional grounding is," Cody said.

"Harold could've caught it," Tyler said indignantly. "I think. I didn't really see where the ball went."

"You threw it the wrong way," Cody said, smirking.

"Well, if he has like mad skills, like go go gadget arms, he could've caught it!" Tyler closed his eyes and crossed his arms.

Cody sighed. "I'm pretty sure that isn't one of his mad skills."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: I actually do own a hat that contains a single-person helicopter propeller hidden inside. I could use it, too, except that it would violate air traffic laws.

* * *

Cody snapped the ball once more, and Tyler threw it forward, but not nearly far enough to reach Harold. Tyler looked down, sat, and sighed. "I'm not getting this."

"It's fun, still!" Katie exclaimed, then calmed down when she noticed how down Tyler was, and ducked down to his eye level. "What's wrong?"

"Lindsay likes that I'm a jock, but I don't think she realizes how bad a jock I am. She'd be devastated if she realized that I'm not very good at sports."

"You hit her with a dodge ball last year," Katie said, smirking. "I think she knows."

"I doubt it," Tyler said. "That just showed her that I was good at dodge ball, since I was supposed to hit her."

Katie tapped her chin. "Hadn't thought of it like that. Still, Lindsay's a sweet girl. I really don't think she's that shallow."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (admiring herself in a handheld mirror) Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most beautiful girl in the history of forever? Me! (Lindsay giggles.)

* * *

"I know she's a good person," Tyler said. "Look at how she's helped calm Courtney down. She was a little rough last season. It's just… well, she'd be let down if she knew how bad I was at sports."

"I really don't think that's true, either," Katie said sincerely. "She loves you for you! Because you're a nice guy who treats her well!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Tyler is like the best boyfriend ever! How many boyfriends do you have who can play football? I have two--I think I counted right this time, anyway. There's Tyler from last year, and Tyler from this year! He's like the best football player who's my boyfriend!

* * *

"I'm off to make myself pretty!" Lindsay exclaimed as she left the cabin.

"And I'm off to, um, make… sure… Lindsay doesn't forget to unplug her hair dryer," Bridgette said, nervous, as she followed Lindsay out.

"You really don't have to leave," Gwen said, nervous. "Kinda' rather you stay."

"I… guess I can stay?" Bridgette said, nervous.

Courtney sighed, standing up and dusting herself off. "I can see where this is headed, and I would prefer not to fight you, Gwen. It's not a fight you would be able to win."

"I don't want to fight," Gwen said, defeated.

"So you accept that I was right in coming to Leshawna's defense," Courtney stated flatly. Bridgette looked nervously at the two, gripping the doorknob.

"Uh, no, you weren't right," Gwen said. "I think we should just agree to disagree about that, though. I don't know why you did it, and I don't like that you did it, but I believe you, that you weren't doing it to spite me."

"I promise I wasn't," Courtney stated, holding up her right hand. "Leshawna has her good qualities, and I know you don't like her, but I do think it would be worth it for you to try to make peace with her, even if you aren't as close as before."

"Can I ask a question?" Gwen asked. "You didn't used to be this forgiving. Why Leshawna?"

"She's had a fairly rough life," Courtney said. "The last thing she needs is people trying to pull her down, except people seem to be doing that already."

"Hey, she started it," Gwen said, a bit irritated.

"I didn't mean you," Courtney said. "I meant her personal life. School records aren't hard to acquire, and--"

"You looked through her school records?" Gwen asked in disbelief. "That's a little scary. Not good scary, either."

"Well, of course I would want to know the background on my competition, particularly when we were going to be competing again this year. It turns out there was a lot on Leshawna. Things I didn't want to believe, since I'd remembered how nice she was last year. Things that I was questioning earlier in the season, when she seemed to have let her rage overtake her. She has anger issues, and she needs help, but there's a little more to it than that."

"Do you know what it is?" Bridgette asked, concerned.

"No," Courtney stated. "Something is up, though, and I would like to think that I am able to get her to open up. It would be good experience if I'm going to be able to deal with people when I'm a successful lawyer."

"That sounds more like psychology to me," Gwen said.

"Perhaps, but it can still be of use," Courtney stated.

Gwen smiled. "Anyway, Courtney… I'm sorry I was mad and being angry with you."

"Apology accepted," Courtney said, and extended her right hand, and Courtney and Gwen shook hands.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I thought it would've been sweet if they hugged, but I don't think either one really wanted to do that. Still nice to see them make up, though.

* * *

"All right!" Tyler exclaimed, holding a baseball bat in the clearing, with Cody crouching behind him. "I'm ready this time!"

"I'm going to throw it nice and easy," Katie said. "Just try to hit it!"

"I've been doing that," Tyler said, as the ball passed his head. "I wasn't ready yet!"

Cody threw the ball back to Katie, who rolled her eyes. "Just pay attention!"

"OK, I'm ready for it!" Tyler exclaimed.

"What'cha doin'?" Lindsay asked sweetly from behind Tyler, who nervously turned around, and was hit in the head by the baseball. Lindsay looked a bit confused as Tyler fell to the ground.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Katie said, as she and Harold rushed up to Tyler, and Katie took a closer, nervous look at Tyler's unconscious body. "Is he OK?"

"He's great!" Lindsay exclaimed, and hugged Tyler, and started kissing him, though he wasn't kissing back. "Tyler, it's me! Linda!"

"Lindsay," Cody said.

"Sorry, Lindsay!" Lindsay exclaimed, giggling nervously. "You don't want to kiss? Did I do something wrong?"

"He's a little knocked out right now," Katie said, nervous, rubbing her shoe against the ground.

"Oh," Lindsay said, nodding, then started to look more confused. "Can you knock him back in?"

"Wha… what?" Tyler asked, dazed, and largely out of it. "Lindsay?"

"Yay!" Lindsay exclaimed, as she glomped Tyler. "You're knocked in again! It worked, Kelly!"

"Uh, what worked?" Katie asked, scratching her head.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I don't really understand why Tyler believes himself to be a sports legend. Some people just can't accept that they're not destined for greatness.

* * *

"I guess he's OK?" Cody asked, confused, watching Lindsay and Tyler kissing each other. "They're making out again."

"He'll be fine," Katie said, grinning, as Tyler gave a thumbs up signal.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: My head was hurting a bit, but Lindsay just looked so sweet. Hard to say no to that.

Lindsay: I'm a little surprised Tyler wanted to make out as soon as he was knocked back in. I didn't want to argue, though, since he might've knocked out again. I needed to make sure he was kept knocked in!

* * *

Chris was standing on the amphitheater stage, with the eight contestants sitting in the bleachers. "One of you is going home tonight!" Chris exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air.

"Joy," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"What?" Chris asked, a bit irritated, then perked up as he continued. "Isn't it fun and exciting when someone's eliminated?"

"Not really," Tyler said, rubbing his forehead. Lindsay, sitting next to him, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then just continued smiling innocently at him.

"Come on!" Chris whined. "If no one ever got eliminated, then no one would ever win the $1 million."

"Carry on, carry on," Courtney said, rolling her eyes and waving her hand dismissively.

"Fine," Chris said, irritated. "You guys remember this stage from last year, right? The same place that Heather exposed Gwen's deepest, darkest secrets to the world?"

"Such happy memories," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"Happy for me, at least!" Chris exclaimed, grinning. "And you guys might be happy to see her again." Nicole entered the stage from behind the curtain, waving to the contestants.

"She's cool," Gwen said. "Got to know her a little better at the Playa' des Losers."

"See? I'm nice," Chris said. "I don't like Nicole, but everyone else does, so I'm being **overly **nice and letting her judge this challenge."

"And what challenge would she be judging?" Courtney asked.

"Why, talent!" Chris exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air again. "It was so much fun last time I decided to try it again!"

"Or you were too lazy to think of something new," Gwen said, resting her chin in her hands.

"Or the viewers like more of the same," Chris said. "Ever think of that? You guys are lucky! Originally, we were going to go with twenty-two new contestants, but our loyal viewers loved you guys, and wanted to see more of you guys again!"

"Lucky me," Nicole said, crossing her arms across her chest and rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, no one really likes you Nicole," Chris said, irritated. "Except these guys. Still don't understand that one. Still, Nicole will judge your acts, and three of you will be safe from elimination tonight. The top two, plus a third person of the top winner's choice. And Leshawna's safe too, so sorry Gwen." Chris had a huge smirk on his face upon telling Gwen that Leshawna was safe. Gwen looked angry.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (with his arms crossed) You can thank Courtney for that, Gwen. If Leshawna's not here for the whole duration of the challenge, she can't be voted off, whether I like it or not.

Gwen: Are we ever going to get a chance to vote Leshawna off? I mean, if we have to vote someone off anyway, why not Leshawna?

* * *

"Well, you guys have until later tonight to get your acts ready," Chris announced. "This is for invincibility, so you'll want to try hard to win this, 'cause we're at the final final ten now! No one is coming back now, and I mean it this time."

"He really does mean it this time, too," Nicole stated. "Izzy explained the whole outline for the rest of the season, and unless Izzy finds some sort of loophole, no one's coming back."

"And she won't," Chris said, irritated.

"She's not really trying to, either," Nicole said. "She was pissed before when you changed the rules for how many people were coming back."

"Izzy took my words **totally **out of context," Chris pouted, crossing his arms across his chest. Nicole looked to the sky in disbelief, and Chris plastered on his bright smile and started gesturing wildly as he started to speak again. "So who will win this challenge?"

"Commercial break is going to go here, right?" Nicole asked. "'Cause to us, it looks really stupid when you do this."

"It really does," Courtney agreed, nodding.

"Shush!" Chris shouted, irritated, rubbing his forehead, then tried to smile once more. "Who will be safe from elimination tonight? And who is gonna' be pissed that Leshawna is going to be safe tonight? Gwen. Gwen will be pissed. I'll spoil that answer for you right there."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I'm not too fond of Leshawna being safe tonight, either.

* * *

Nicole shook her head, continuing looking to the sky in disbelief as Chris continued. "Find out who will win, and who's going home, when we come back with more _Total Drama Chris!"_

"**Still** a terrible name," Nicole said, rolling her eyes. The contestants giggled a bit. Chris groaned.

* * *

And with this chapter, this story is now the second-longest _Total Drama Island _fan fiction on the site! Yee!


	36. Day 17, Part 2: Sax and Violins

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 36: Day 17: Part 2: Sax and Violins**

Heather was lying in a reclining beach chair on the beach, relaxed and soaking in sunshine, with an empty seat next to her. Leshawna soon returned carrying a couple of drinks, and handing one to Heather, who was smiling. "You was right," Leshawna said. "They didn't ask how old I was."

"Truthfully, I don't even really know what the drinking age is," Heather said, shrugging. "I'm not sure anyone knows. The Aruba Ariba was said to be the must-try drink here, though."

Leshawna took a sip, and smiled. "They're right, I'll tell ya' that much!"

Heather nodded after taking a sip herself. "I've actually been thinking about Madison."

"She's a no-good traitor," Leshawna said, crossing her arms and looking irritated.

"Look, I'm not saying the things she did to you were right. But there's something wrong here."

"Yeah, she be making my life hell, that's what!"

Heather shook her head, looking down. "She is, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't help but feel sorry for her."

"You would," Leshawna said, rolling her eyes.

"I don't approve of the stuff she did to you," Heather said. "I don't think she's happy, though. I know a little about being the queen bee. It's hard work, people fear you more than they actually like you, and at every moment, you have to be so careful as to not be taken down, and sometimes, it just happens, and things spiral out of control, and--" Heather stopped herself, and was starting to tear up. "I mean, don't get me wrong, there are definitely some nice perks, but the fall is hard, and miserable, and all of those people are just--just--"

Leshawna pat Heather's back. "I'm really sorry about that, hon. I swear, I never thought you'd be the kid everyone else picked on! And I was just one of them."

"I was mean to you, though," Heather said. "I mean, you were mean to me as well. It was kind of mutual combat. Neither of us was the good guy, neither of us the bad guy."

"I think taking up for Gwen gives me a slight edge," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow. "But yeah, the magic of editing. Definitely skewered in my favor there." Leshawna shook her head. "Still can't believe all those things they done to ya' at school."

"Like throwing me into a vat of vomit," Heather said, raising an eyebrow. "I tend to remember someone else doing that to me as well."

"I'm sorry," Leshawna said, looking guilty. "How many times are you gonna' make me say it? I was wrong!"

"I just enjoy rubbing it in," Heather said, smiling innocently.

"You really are mean," Leshawna said, laughing a bit, and hugging Heather, who hugged back, still smiling. "We're both a little mean, I guess."

"You still have bad hair," Heather said, smirking as the two let go.

"And you still have no hair," Leshawna shot back, smirking back. "Seriously, I owe you a new wig."

"It was pretty expensive," Heather said. "I don't want you to worry about that. I can get another. I don't want you to use up your money on me."

"I wronged you, and I owe you," Leshawna said.

"Seriously, don't," Heather said, smiling. "The things you do for your family, stuck in a ghetto--"

"It's really not that bad," Leshawna said. "We're livin', and I'm makin' something of myself!"

"I hope you do," Heather said, smiling. "Still, I don't want your money, I promise! Just the gesture is nice enough!" Heather sighed. "Really, though, I wish I could talk to Madison."

"Not this again," Leshawna said jokingly, rolling her eyes. "You can't save everyone."

"I think you want her to be saved, though," Heather said, narrowing her eyes. "Your once best friend, turning against you so seemingly randomly… I don't think it was random."

"I know it wasn't random," Leshawna said. "She's just a no-good horrible bitch."

"I don't believe it," Heather said, shaking her head. "One day, you're best of friends, then suddenly you get arrested for no reason--I'm really sorry about that, by the way--and you don't hear from her for years, and years later, when she realizes who you are, she makes it her goal in life to personally punish you. She probably feels you betrayed her."

"I never did no such thing!" Leshawna shouted, defensive.

"I never said you did," Heather said, concerned. "All that matters is that Madison thinks you did. Someone was probably spreading lies about you to her, and she believed them. Didn't you say her mother was involved with the whole arrest?"

"Yeah," Leshawna said, looking miserable. "I don't suppose I can get the entire school to torment her so she'll change back?"

Heather shook her head. "It might work. Or it might lead to her taking out half the school. Not worth the risk. Plus, that torment is not something I would wish on my worst enemy."

"You really wouldn't wish that on Jewel?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Hell no! Seriously, that was… well, I needed a wake-up call, don't get me wrong. I still wish I hadn't had to go through **that**, though!"

"You're right, girl," Leshawna said, patting Heather's knee. "All that stuff I did to you this year… all that stuff you went through, and all that stuff I did… I can't never make it up to you."

"Probably not," Heather teased.

"You like rubbin' it in, don't ya'?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I do," Heather proclaimed, grinning.

"You really are bad!" Leshawna said, smirking.

"Can't expect anyone to completely change," Heather said, laughing a bit. "I can still bring it on and win this competition. At least assuming no one tries to orchestrate my ouster for some reason again." Heather glared at Leshawna.

Leshawna shrugged. "I won't, but I don't promise no one else will. There's still Cody and Gwen, and they--"

"Gwen likes me!" Heather exclaimed, pointing innocently to herself. "Seriously!"

"I'll believe that one when I see it," Leshawna said, not believing.

"I swear it's true!" Heather exclaimed, raising her right hand. "Would I lie?"

"Yeah, you would," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow. "Gwen can hold a grudge good. She don't just let go easy."

Heather shrugged. "I wish I knew exactly what I did to earn Gwen's trust. I just tried my hardest to prove myself to her, and eventually she accepted me."

"You sure you're Heather?" Leshawna asked, suspicious. "You can't be the real Heather!"

"I don't know," Heather said, tapping her chin. "It could all be an elaborate rouse on my part to get everyone to trust me so I can take them all in for suckers and win the grand prize easily. What with being an evil mastermind and all, mwa ha ha!"

"Mwa ha ha?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow. "Really, now. I'm not sure whether that was you joking or not."

"Yes, that was a joke!" Heather exclaimed, waving her hands. "I mean, I still want to win, that part wasn't the joke, but I really do want to show the world that I'm not this horrible person they all believe me to me."

"You were pretty bad last year, though."

"Yes, I was," Heather said, and sighed. "I wasn't **that **bad, though. Seriously, did they have to edit out everything that made me look human?"

"There wasn't that much there," Leshawna said, shaking her head.

"Oh, really?" Heather asked. "They may have been edited out, but Lindsay, Beth and I most certainly had some nicer moments."

"Didn't stop you from kicking them out!" Leshawna shouted.

"I didn't have a choice," Heather stated. "Or correction, I did have a choice, but I didn't see it that way. First, Beth did curse us, and I wasn't the only one who threw her under the bus for that one. And she had betrayed me by that point, anyway."

"Still can't believe we voted Beth off instead of you there," Leshawna said, looking guilty. "Really wasn't fair. But you and you alone got Lindsay kicked off, and she was still loyal to you!"

Heather sighed, then looked down. "I felt terrible about that."

"Sure you did," Leshawna said, rolling her eyes.

"I wasn't that heartless!" Heather shouted. "I do wish they would've shown that confessional, though. I liked Lindsay. Sure, I was using her, and I didn't really respect her, but I could actually talk to her, and regardless of how irritating she could be, she was also the only one there who didn't hate my guts! I wouldn't have admitted it then, but if, for some reason, I didn't win, she would have been my next choice."

"You didn't like Lindsay last year," Leshawna said, laughing a bit. "That's the most ridiculous thing you've said so far!"

"It's true," Heather stated, irritated. "I'm not saying I was a great friend to her, because I wasn't, and I hated that Lindsay had to leave."

"I could tell how much you hated it," Leshawna said, rolling her eyes.

"Like I was going to act like I cared with all of my mortal enemies scrutinizing my every move," Heather said, waving her hand dismissively. "Please. I do wish they'd shown that lousy confessional after, though!"

"Well, if it exists, Izzy can find it, I'm sure," Leshawna said. "Not that she will, but if there's--"

"That's a great idea!" Heather exclaimed, hugging Leshawna again. "You really are pretty smart. Or at least smart."

"Now what's wrong with this bodacious bod?" Leshawna asked, tracing her figure.

"Oh," Heather said, nervous. "Um… well, it's… nice." Heather looked nervous, and saw Leshawna sigh. "I don't really know what you're expecting me to say."

"I was kinda' hopin' 'yeah, you're gorgeous,' or somethin' like that," Leshawna said.

"I didn't want to lie?" Heather asked, looking worriedly upon Leshawna. "I'm sorry. I'm not perfect still. I'm still not sure what the correct answer was. Old Heather might have lied and say that you were beautiful if she were trying to get on your good side, but I don't really want to do that." Leshawna looked upset, but she was trying to contain herself. "As long as you're good on the inside, though, right?" Heather asked, smiling. "That's what matters, right?"

Leshawna breathed in deeply. "I promise I'm not gonna' rip your head off, but what's wrong? Is it my hair? My weight? My--"

"Yes," Heather said, shaking nervously. "I didn't really want it to come up, but yes. Your weight." Leshawna looked upset, but continued breathing in deeply. "I'm really sorry."

Leshawna finally smiled after several seconds. "Thanks, hon."

"Still friends?" Heather asked nervously, trying to smile.

Leshawna shrugged, then hugged Heather, who hugged back. "Yeah. After everything I done to you, I have no room to complain." Leshawna and Heather let go. "Can I ask, though? Why does it bother you?"

"There you are!" a lady shouted, dressed as an airplane attendant. "It's time to go!"

"But we haven't been here that long," Leshawna complained. "Don't we even get to spend the night?"

"And Chris have to pay for hotel stay?" the lady asked, rolling her eyes. "As if! Now you two, hustle! Chris wants you back!"

"OK, Emily, OK," Heather said, rolling her eyes.

"My name is Zoe! And I'm not proud at all that you can't tell me apart from my sister!"

"I'm sorry, Zoe," Heather said, smiling. "You're the one who despises Chris, right?"

"Yeah. I don't know why my sister's so obsessed."

"We don't know either," Leshawna said.

"We might have to get her checked," Zoe said, tapping her cheek.

* * *

Tyler had wrapped his yo-yo around his body, tying his arms and legs together, and fell to the ground. Harold shook his head. "Didn't you try that last year?"

"I've been practicing," Tyler said.

"Do you want me to get the scissors?" Cody asked, a bit nervous.

"Nah, I can get out of this," Tyler said, audibly struggling to get out of the yo-yo string.

"I can show you some real talent," Harold said, smiling. "Watch what I can do with these num-yos!" Harold started twirling a pair of yo-yos around his head as if they were nunchucks.

"He's a party dude!" Cody exclaimed. "That's pretty good, really. I don't know if it'll be enough to win, though. Who knows what everyone else is coming up with?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: (still tied up in his yo-yo) I don't know how I'm going to get good enough to win this thing. (Tyler sighs.)

* * *

"I don't know what I can do," Courtney said, pacing back and forth in front of Lindsay and Bridgette, looking concerned. "I don't have my violin. What else is there for me?"

"Do you know any other instruments?" Bridgette asked, looking guilty.

"Ooh, I do!" Lindsay exclaimed, raising her hand. "There's drums, guitars, piñatas, sexy phones, drum pets, piccolo--"

"That's not quite what I meant," Bridgette said, giggling.

"I can play some of those," Courtney said. "Not the drums or trumpet, and I'm not a fan of the piccolo--"

"I remember that!" Lindsay exclaimed, proud of herself. "I remember when you said you didn't like piccolos on your hamburger!"

Bridgette was giggling again. "I don't think most people do."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I don't know how I remembered that, but I remember that Courtney told me she didn't like piccolos on her hamburger!

* * *

Courtney kept herself from laughing. "I may know how to play those instruments, but I still don't have access to them. That's a bit of a problem."

"Psst."

"Did anyone else hear that?" Courtney asked, confused.

"I think someone's tire is crying," Lindsay said, also confused.

"Hey, bud."

"Hi Izzy," Bridgette said, smiling nervously and waving.

"I'm not Izzy," Izzy said, stepping out in a large trenchcoat. "Call me Kaleidoscope."

"You mean that same girl who was helping find evidence of Justin's and Leshawna's wrongdoing?" Courtney asked, smirking.

"I thought that was E-Scope," Lindsay said, confused.

Izzy shrugged. "Kaleidoscope, E-Scope, I say tomato, you say kumquat, it's the same thing."

"That's not quite how the expression goes," Bridgette said, giggling a bit.

"Someone's got a case of the giggles," Izzy said, then produced a box of Giggles cookies from behind her back. "I only have three boxes after this one's through. Glad I got the whole case of them after that grocery story was going out of business." Izzy opened the box, and took out a smiley-faced cookie with mold growing on it. "Two different colors of crème! Though actually, I think it's three colors now." Izzy popped the cookie in her mouth.

"How old are those?" Courtney asked, wincing.

"Twenty-three years, give or take a few months," Izzy said. "It's like a fine wine. The flavors become more sophisticated as they're allowed to settle." Izzy popped another cookie into her mouth. "Anyone want one? I'm willing to share!"

"No thank you," Lindsay said. "I'm trying to watch what I eat. Need to keep this figure." Lindsay giggled uncomfortably.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I may be stupid, but even I know not to eat a cookie that looks like that did. Although if I got sick, I might've lost some weight. But it still would've tasted terrible.

* * *

"I can get you an instrument," Izzy loudly said into Courtney's ear, not really trying to keep the message very secret. "A violin you want, I can get you a violin."

"Thank you, Izzy," Courtney said, smiling. "That would be quite kind of you."

"No problem," Izzy said, smiling. "Can I get anything for you two? Surfboard?"

"I don't think I can really surf on the stage," Bridgette said, giggling a bit again.

Izzy cocked her head. "Sure you don't want a Giggle? Sounds like you could use one, Bridge."

"We're sure!" Lindsay squealed quickly, looking a bit frightened.

"Can you play the triangle?" Izzy asked to Lindsay.

"Triangles have three sides, right?" Lindsay asked, rubbing her forehead.

"Yeah, but I'm talking about this thing," Izzy said, taking a triangle and stick from behind her back.

"Where do you keep that stuff you're always able to pull from seeming thin air?" Courtney asked, concerned.

"Hammerspace," Lindsay answered.

"Not really, I just always come prepared," Izzy said, shifting her eyes back and forth. "**Always **prepared. You never know when the RCMP might be waiting to jump you right around the corner, ha ha!"

"They're mean," Lindsay said, making a pouty face. "And I always thought Doodie Do Right was a good guy."

Bridgette was giggling again. "I'm sorry, I think I have something in my system today."

"But I know what's not in your system," Izzy said, smirking, holding out the box of Giggles.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Bridgette exclaimed, waving her hands wildly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I have no idea what I'm going to do for the talent show, but I'm good! (Bridgette giggles nervously.)

* * *

"I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" Tyler exclaimed, as he was dribbling a basketball, at least until it got loose. "How long was that?"

"Fourteen seconds!" Cody exclaimed. "That's a record!"

"Whoo-hoo!" Tyler exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. "I can win this thing tonight!"

"I'm not sure about that," Cody said, nervous. "It might impress Lindsay, though."

"Yeah!" Tyler exclaimed, excited. "Lindsay's gonna' love to watch what I can do!"

"I still think she would be more impressed by the stylings of the num-yo," Harold said, twirling his yo-yos near his head.

"He's not really as good with the yo-yo," Cody said. "Might want to stick with the basketball."

"I can do this!" Tyler exclaimed, pumping his fists. "Just you watch, 'cause here comes the Tyler man!"

"And the Codemeister!"

"And Mad Skills, dawg!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: And the huge egos. I mean, at least I don't scream out to the high heavens some idiotic nickname for myself.

Lindsay: CIT? Was that it? There was some silly nickname Courtney kept screaming to everyone. I think it was CIT. I don't even know what that stands for.

* * *

"All right!" Chris exclaimed, standing on the amphitheater stage that night, next to Nicole, before the eight contestants, sitting in the bleachers. "It's time to play the music! It's time to light the lights!"

"It's time to stop saying cutesy things that don't make any sense," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.

"Now that's just mean!" Chris shouted. "Anyway, contestants, Nicole. Nicole, contestants. You've met, so let's move one. Each of you will perform an act for us all. Nicole will judge those acts. The top two are safe, and the top one gets to pick a third person for safety."

"I'm going to be the top one, of course," Courtney stated, flaunting her hand over her chest. "And I will, of course, be entirely fair when choosing which of these lesser people to allow into safety with me."

"Lesser people?" Bridgette asked, not particularly happy.

"Just lesser than me," Courtney said, smiling. "Don't worry. You're still way up there!" Courtney noticed Bridgette didn't look too happy.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I don't think Courtney's trying to, and I'm not sure she's entirely aware of it, and I know she's been better this year, but it's still frustrating when she gets like that.

Courtney: I don't think Bridgette liked being referred to as lesser. I don't really get it. She is lesser than me. She is a genuinely good friend, but she isn't as close to perfect as I am. For one, she seems upset with me. There's no logical reason for that.

Lindsay: I think Bridgette's mad at Courtney. I wish I knew how to make them happy. Courtney didn't mean lesser to be mean. I don't think, anyway.

* * *

Tyler was on the stage, holding a basketball. Chris was looking from the side. "Anytime, Tyler," Chris said, annoyed.

Tyler gulped, then smiled. "This is for you, babe!" Tyler then started dribbling the basketball, which he lost control of after nine seconds and it bounced into the audience straight into Lindsay's head, who fell over. Bridgette and Courtney both jumped out of their seats to tend to Lindsay.

"Are you OK?" Courtney asked, worried.

"I'm good," Lindsay weakly said.

"Really? We can get you something if you need it. Bridgette, can you get some water?"

"Can you get it?" Bridgette asked, a bit irritated.

"You're right!" Courtney exclaimed. "I can get there and back faster! Make sure Lindsay's all right!" Courtney ran off, leaving Bridgette scratching her head.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (in meditation position) She's a good person. She's a good person. She was worried about Lindsay, so she's a good person. (Bridgette sighs.) Courtney is a good person. I know that.

Lindsay: That was **awesome! **The way Tyler dribbled the basketball, just like a real sports star! He was just so amazing to watch. And so hot! (Lindsay blushes.)

* * *

Tyler was sitting next to Lindsay in the audience, lightly hugging her, as Courtney rushed back carrying a glass of water. "You're up, Lindsay!" Chris called out. "Get up there now or you're getting kicked off tonight."

"That's not how it works!" Courtney yelled, angry.

"As long as I equally apply it to everyone else, I can do it!" Chris yelled. "Lindsay better get up there, and now!"

"OK," Lindsay weakly said as she started walking toward the stage, then stopped short. "Oh yeah, can I borrow that basketball, Tyler?" Lindsay smiled sweetly at Tyler.

"Sure, babe," Tyler said, as they kissed while he handed over the basketball to Lindsay.

"That's disgusting," Chris said, making an ugly face as Lindsay started to rush up onto the stage, holding the basketball.

"This is a basketball," Lindsay said, looking at the ball, very serious.

"We know what it is, Lindsay," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "How about doing something with it before I fall asleep?"

"Right!" Lindsay stated, as she started dribbling the basketball.

"Well that's original," Chris said, yawning. "Do more."

"Anyone have a basket?" Lindsay asked, grinning.

"Just use Chris' head!" Courtney cheered, rolling her fist from the bleachers.

"Right!" Lindsay exclaimed, as she aimed and threw the ball squarely at Chris' forehead, then rushed over to catch the ball and dribble some more, while Chris had fallen to the ground, and started rubbing his head in pain. "Now watch this!" Lindsay slammed the ball into the amphitheater floor, and watched it bounce high. When it came back down, Lindsay hopped onto it and took the ride bouncing back up with it, and at her highest point, she grabbed the ball and hummed it at Chris' head once more, who fell back down again. Lindsay took a bow as the audience went wild, and Tyler and Courtney climbed onto the stage to hug her.

"That was incredible!" Courtney exclaimed.

"Yeah, you rocked!" Tyler exclaimed. Lindsay blushed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I was actually on my school's basketball team for a little bit. But then for some reason, they switched the baskets partway through the game. That confused me, and I kept throwing the ball into the wrong basket, and they kicked me off the team. (Lindsay looks pouty as she crosses her arms across her chest.) Why did they switch which team had which basket? Why couldn't they just make up their minds before the game started? How was I supposed to remember they switched the baskets for some reason?

Courtney: For the record, I could've done that, too!

Tyler: Yeah, she was really good. (Tyler sniffs.) I don't think Lindsay was really impressed by my dribbling. I think she was just saying that.

Lindsay: I hope one day I can be as good as Tyler is!

* * *

"Starting… now!" Bridgette exclaimed, as she turned her body over, and started walking around on her arms, with her legs up in the air. "And don't worry, I haven't eaten anything in a while. Last year's disaster isn't going to happen this time, guys!" The contestants in the audience nodded nervously.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: It was kinda' cool at first, but then it got really boring, really fast, just staring at Bridgette, walking around upside-down for twenty-minutes. It felt like it was never going to end!

Cody: You know, I can't complain about having an excuse to stare at Bridgette for twenty minutes. Now if only it could've been Gwen instead. (Cody's eyes grow wide.) Or Eva! Or Eva! (Cody sighs.) When I get kicked off, I'm a dead man.

Courtney: Bridgette, you're really better than that. You shouldn't go parading yourself like a monkey.

* * *

"And watch, as I, Mad Skills, perform some death defying tricks with the amazing num-yos!" Harold said, as he started twirling the pair of yo-yos around his head, then continuing to twirl them around his arms, and legs, and finally, letting one loose straight for Chris' head, then retrieving it with his other num-yo, boomeranging the one that had hit Chris back to him. "Thank you."

"That was awful!" Chris yelled, rubbing his head in pain with both hands. The audience cheered for him, though, minus Courtney, who looked disgusted, and had her arms crossed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Last thing I want is for… I hate to even say his name, **Harold **to win. (Courtney shuddered upon uttering the name.) Cheating to get me kicked off last year, and tormenting Lindsay for no reason this year.

Chris: (rubbing his head) Personally, I liked his act from last year more. (Chris groans in pain.)

* * *

"I'm never gonna' dance again!" Cody shouted on stage, while Chris and the contestants were covering their ears. "Guilty feet have got no rhythm! Though it's easy to pretend--"

"I thought you said no singing was allowed last week!" Gwen shouted to Chris, covering her ears in pain.

"I did!" Chris exclaimed, covering his ears, though smiling. "But this isn't singing!" Gwen rolled her eyes.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I love that song! Seether is a genius, coming up with something so rockin' awesome like that!

Gwen: I hate Seether! Lame posers. Did Cody think it would impress me, or something? Were the lyrics even supposed to make sense in relation to him, anyway? Didn't anyone ever tell him he couldn't sing at all?

Cody: I wouldn't mind trying out for Canadian Idol next year. I think I have a good shot at winning!

Lindsay: I remember hearing that song when I was like a baby! That song used to make me want to learn how to play the sexy phone! For some reason, Mommy and Daddy always got really embarrassed when I mentioned wanting to play the sexy phone. I never really understood why.

Chris: Hey, I agree with Lindsay. She's perfect for one of those people in the sex phone line commercials, even though you're probably really talking to some ugly chick on the other end of the phone.  
Izzy: (popping her head out from the toilet) You're disgusting!  
Chris: Um, you are aware that you're the one who's in a toilet?  
Izzy: Oh, don't worry. I flushed it first.

* * *

Katie does a little dance, swinging her hips, and then twirling around on stage, before doing a split. "That was good, wasn't it?" Katie asked, nervous, watching a confused crowd, and Courtney, who was shaking her head in the palm of her hand. "I'm sorry, but it really is a lot better when I have Sadie to do it with me!

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: No, it's really not, Katie.

Courtney: When I told Katie and Sadie that their act was no good last year, I only had their best interests in mind, of course. I didn't want them to embarrass themselves on national television, or at least we all thought it was just national back then. I don't think any of us really expected the show to become a worldwide phenomenon. But my point still stands, that I had Katie's and Sadie's best interests at heart last year. Which also happened to be congruent with **my **interests with winning, of course, but my concern for them embarrassing themselves was legitimately secondary!

* * *

Gwen was on the stage, in front of a canvas, holding a paint palette in one hand and a paintbrush in the other, both faced away from the audience, as she slowly painted something, while some contestants in the bleachers were started to fall asleep.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I wonder if she watched Bob Ross. She was going at it pretty fast, really. Chris is just such an impatient jerk sometimes. I know Gwen and I haven't always had the best relationship, but I just felt so bad for her after Chris did that.

Bridgette: Don't get me wrong, Gwen's a great artist. She's just a slow painter. I wish I'd have thought to recommend a pencil drawing, since I had a bad feeling that Chris--

Chris: So I destroyed her "work-in-progress" that she was doing. It was crap, anyway. Water, grass, a couple of people who didn't look like they were me… seriously, if you're going to go so slow, at least draw **me!** I would've been a little less impatient if you were painting something nice, I mean. And did she have to get all bitchy about it? I mean, yelling at me, cursing me out, and throwing a little tantrum just because I ripped the hideous work of art all up then set it ablaze? Seriously, you all should be thanking me that you'll never have to witness that monstrosity. Plus I was bored, so making her angry made me not bored!

* * *

"That was beyond cruel, Chris," Courtney stated, glaring death at Chris. "To destroy a possible masterpiece without provocation!"

"Speak English!" Chris yelled. "It's not my fault Gwen was acting like a spoiled brat! And it's your turn to perform, anyway, so get up here."

"But I… where's Iz… I mean, where's Kaleidoscope?"

"Right here!" Izzy exclaimed, from right beneath where Courtney was sitting, causing her to leap in fear and fall down from the bleachers onto the ground.

"Was that necessary?" Courtney asked, irritated as she was picking herself up from the ground while dusting herself off.

"No, but it was fun!" Izzy exclaimed. "Come on, I got you a violin, so you could at least let me have my fun! It's win-win!"

"I suppose," Courtney said. "Thank you." Courtney started tearing up.

"Why did you get her a violin?!" Chris yelled, angry.

Izzy was smiling brightly and dancing slightly as she began speaking rapidly. "Well, her violin broke last year, and I'm making mad money now, and I thought 'hey, it would be really nice to get Courtney another violin,' so… yeah. There she goes. Off to make Mommy proud, I hope!" Izzy sniffled slightly, and wiped a tear from her eye. "Makes me so proud."

Courtney climbed onto the stage nervously with the violin, and looked into the crowd. "I'm a little out of practice, so I hope the quality of my playing is to an acceptable standard for you guys."

"No one cares, just play," Chris grumbled.

"OK," Courtney said, smiling. "This is a piece from Bach's French Suite Number Three." Courtney began playing her violin, and the other contestants were smiling, even peaceful, listening to Courtney's playing. After Courtney finished, she took a bow, and the audience cheered, and Chris yawned.

"That was boring. And old. No one likes dead people music," Chris complained.

"Dead people music?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I thought dead people music was like what those people in the unfashionable wigs listened to. Wasn't that Tetanus music?"

"No!" Courtney screamed in a panic. "Absolutely not, no no, one hundred percent no! That was a classical piece worthy of breaking in this violin! Ha! Ha! As if I would be caught dead playing a common person's video game. Just the thought is laughable, so I shall laugh again! Ha!" Courtney looked around the stage nervously. "Ha!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I find it suspicious that Courtney somehow knew that Lindsay was talking about a video game when she mentioned tetanus. I know video games aren't really the first thing I think of.

Katie: Everyone knows Music A rocks, and Music C sucks. I don't get why Courtney chose to play Music C. (Katie shrugs.) It was pretty good, still.

Courtney: OK, fine, I admit, I enjoy Tetris quite thoroughly, and the game has even introduced me to that **classic **musical piece. Seriously, most video games are all about mindlessly shooting and killing thins, but Tetris is an intelligent game requiring spatial reasoning and dexterital exercises. (Courtney nervously looks to the camera.) Please allow me one guilty pleasure.

* * *

All of the contestants, except for Gwen, were sitting in the bleachers, anxiously awaiting the results of the competition. Lindsay was bunched between Tyler and Courtney, who was looking especially nervous. Bridgette was nearby, looking unsure about everything. Katie was squeezing Cody's arm in nervousness, and Harold was sitting calmly by himself.

"And may you all give your attention to that loser Nicole," Chris said, as Nicole walked through the curtain, onto the stage, and glared death at Chris.

"Loser?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're quite the mature one, Chris. Anyway, I have the results."

"Announce second place first!" Chris loudly whispered. "It'll be more dramatic that way!"

Nicole grumbled before continuing on. "Our second place winner, who is safe from tonight's vote, for what was a beautiful painting before Chris destroyed it--"

"You didn't see it!" Chris yelled. "I thought you were all for being 'fair' and 'unbiased,'" Chris complained, waving his hands in the air. "That's why I chose you for this, instead of one of the other losers who were supposed to be on this year!"

"Supposed to be on?" Courtney asked. "You mean we weren't originally supposed to be put through another round of torture this year?"

"Uh…" Chris went, nervous and sweating, then bolted off, scared.

Courtney looked angry, but calmed herself quickly. "Please continue, Nicole."

"Thank you," Nicole said. "I could see Gwen's painting from backstage. I couldn't tell who she was painting, but the landscaping was beautiful, and she definitely deserves second prize." Nicole thought for a moment before continuing. "Someone be sure to tell Gwen that she's safe after this is over!"

"Will do!" Bridgette exclaimed, saluting to Nicole.

"And for first place," Nicole started, "for that lovely rendition of that classic Tetris theme, even if it wasn't Music A, which would've rocked even harder, on the violin, Courtney!"

Courtney teared up and hurried onto the stage. "I'd like to thank myself, for pushing myself to my limits and giving myself the ability to do all of the things I am able to accomplish."

"You don't have to give a speech," Nicole said, rubbing her arm. "Really."

"I would also like to thank Duncan for pushing all of my buttons, which only pushes me into trying harder. And Lindsay, for being ever so optimistic and giving me more of a reason to continue playing in this game, to make sure she can thrive in this terrible environment. Oh, and Bridget! She's the only person back home who's been there for me, and has my back, and helps me get along, or at least tolerate, others of my age. And… and…" Courtney was rubbing her forehead, looking like she was thinking hard. "Bridgette, the other one! I'm sorry that you're upset with me, and I'm sorry for whatever I did! I don't know what it is, I swear!" Bridgette smiled, and walked up to hug Courtney.

"I'll explain it later," Bridgette said. "It's my fault too."

"Oh, I already knew that," Courtney said, smiling.

"Speech over?" Nicole asked, a bit irritated. "Good. Who else is going to be safe for this week?"

"Oh, um…" Courtney trailed off, nervous. "I don't know."

Nicole shook her head. "It's really in the rules. I thought you'd be good at deciding."

"Just pick Lindsay," Bridgette said, smiling.

"Lindsay!" Courtney immediately exclaimed. "Lindsay's safe!"

Bridgette chuckled a bit. "You didn't have to answer quite that fast." Courtney looked embarrassed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (embarrassed) I do have much to learn about social teenager interactions. It's a lot easier just to rule everyone, really. I don't know how teenagers can play this game every day.

Bridgette: Courtney's a nice person. I'm not sure she really knows how to be a teenager, sometimes, but she's trying to get along with everyone, and that really counts for a lot.

* * *

"Are you OK, Gwen?" Bridgette asked as she entered her cabin, with her hands in her pockets, and Gwen was in the corner, crying. "You're safe from elimination tonight."

"How?" Gwen asked, confused, though still crying. "I didn't even get to finish my painting."

"Nicole was watching from backstage. She said it was beautiful."

Gwen sniffled for a moment, and smiled slightly. "Thank you."

"Nicole said there were some people in the painting, but she couldn't tell who they were. I mean, can I ask, if it's OK, or not, if it's too--"

"Me, Trent, and Heather," Gwen said, still crying. "I didn't add much detail to us yet, but it was going to be me, Trent, and Heather, together."

"Heather?" Bridgette asked, surprised. "You're getting along with her?"

"Yes. I don't really know how she infected my brain, but for some reason, we really started getting along at the Playa' des Losers, and she's been through a lot, and I believe she's changed for real. She's been a good friend."

Bridgette smiled, though soon after, Gwen started screaming, and throwing some things around. "**How the hell could Chris do that?! **I was putting my heart and soul into that, and all destroyed! How could--how could--**urgh!**" Gwen was breathing heavy, and Bridgette was afraid, but slowly went up to hug Gwen.

"I'm sorry," Bridgette said, crying.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I really wish that we could vote Chris off. I swear, every time we think he's hit a new low, he goes out to prove to us all just how much more despicable he can be! Still, as we cannot vote off Chris, I choose Harold. He's been getting better, at least. Maybe Courtney can cure him completely when he gets back to the Playa' des Losers.

Tyler: I hate this. I really hate this, but I don't really have a lot of options. Bridgette, you're really nice and all, and I'm sorry I have to vote you off. You'll be with Geoff, at least, right?

Lindsay: Harold… I think? I think that was the name Courtney told me to vote for. She said he was being nicer, but he was still the right person to vote for, so I'll just trust what Courtney tells me to do!

Cody: I, personally, don't mind being outnumbered by the lovely ladies, except it puts us guys at a major disadvantage, and between Bridgette and Katie, I'm simply closer to Katie. I'm sorry, Bridgette, but you're still hot!

* * *

Chris was standing at his podium that night around the campfire, with a plate full of nine marshmallows. The eight contestants were seated on their tree stumps, as the Boat of Losers finally arrived at the Dock of Shame, dropping a couple of people off. Soon, everyone could see who Leshawna brought with her.

"Heather?" Courtney asked, confused. "You brought Heather back? That was… I can't say I saw that coming, but it is wonderful to have you back." Courtney walked over to hug Heather, followed by Lindsay.

"I missed you, Heather!" Lindsay exclaimed, squeezing Lindsay tight. "You were like so nice this year!"

Harold walked up to Heather, took her hand, and kissed it. "A kiss for m'lady." Heather smiled and giggled a bit.

"Heather!" Gwen exclaimed, walking up to Heather as well, and giving you a tight hug. "Can I ask what technicality you found to get on?"

"Believe it or not, Leshawna chose me to come back to compete," Heather said, smiling.

"You're kidding," Gwen said, raising an eyebrow. "For one, she's complete evil. And for two, she hates you!"

"We hated each other at one time, if I recall," Heather said teasingly, tapping her chin.

"Wait," Cody said, confused. "You two don't still hate each other?"

"Nope!" Heather exclaimed, as she and Gwen put an arm around each other, with Heather putting bunny ears behind Gwen.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: (in shock) Hell has officially frozen over.

Courtney: I'm feeling more than a little guilty about voting for Harold. I mean, seriously, who could have possibly predicted that Leshawna was going to bring Heather back?

* * *

"Anyway, Leshawna, you were safe," Chris said, handing Leshawna a marshmallow. "And not surprisingly, since no one would've ever guessed you were coming back tonight, Heather, you are also safe." Chris handed Heather a marshmallow, and she and Leshawna stepped over to the side. "When I call your name, come up and receive your marshmallow. On this plate, I have nine… um, seven marshmallows, and eight of you. The one who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back! **Ever!** And Izzy can confirm for you if you choose not to believe me that there is truly no one returning from this point on. Now for those who are safe:"

"Courtney."

"Gwen."

"Lindsay."

"Lindsay."

"Lindsay."

"Bueller."

"Bueller."

Tyler nudged Lindsay's arm. "Huh? Oh, right, safe, marshmallow. I kind of forgot." Lindsay smiled innocently as she walked up to get her marshmallow, and study it intensely. "It's cute, like a little baby, only more marshmallow-y!"

"Moving on," Chris said, irritated.

"Tyler."

"Cody."

"Katie."

Bridgette and Harold remained, sitting on their stumps, looking nervously to each other.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: With Heather back, it was pretty lose-lose at that point, though personally, I was praying for Bridgette to be safe. I mean, I gave invincibility to Lindsay, but not Bridgette.

* * *

"One of you is safe," Chris stated ominously, holding up the final marshmallow in the palm of his hand. "The other of you is not. The one who does not get this marshmallow must immediately leave. And the person who is safe is…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Bridgette."

Bridgette wiped her forehead, then turned to Harold. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Courtney said to Heather. "I swear, none of us had any clue that you were coming back tonight."

Heather sighed. "It's OK." Heather turned to Harold. "I guess you'll be leaving us."

Harold shrugged. "I had a good run. I don't suppose I get a kiss goodbye."

Heather rolled her eyes, then pulled Harold to her, and started kissing quite passionately, with most of the others finding it sweet, and Courtney holding Chris back from interrupting them.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Seriously, why does Chris want to interrupt them, anyway? It's like he cares more about bullying us than he cares about ratings! Aren't ratings supposed to be like his bread and butter?

Chris: (making grand gestures as he speaks) Hey, interrupting make-out sessions may cost a few viewers, but it's so much more rewarding to the soul.

* * *

Harold waved goodbye on the Boat of Losers, as Heather was waving and tearing up on the Dock of Shame, beside Leshawna, also waving goodbye, with the others on the edge of the island.

"They didn't mean to do it," Leshawna said, smiling.

"I know," Heather said, smiling as well.

"You really do have a lot of friends here," Leshawna said.

"Courtney seems to like you, so that's one," Heather said. "And, I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but you can count me as a friend, too."

Leshawna smiled as the two hug, leaving most of the other contestants confused.

"How stupid," Chris said, irritated, near the group of seven. "She used to be one of my favorite contestants, too. So much drama she caused last year, but now she's just a boring loser like Bridgette."

"I'm not boring!" Bridgette shouted.

"Stealing jokes is wrong," Chris said, irritated. "Irregardless, we are now down to nine players again. Nine players who are desperate to make it to the point where there are but eight players! Who will be the next person voted off? What exciting, original challenge do we have next for these miserable excuses of human life?"

"So says the guy who ruined Gwen's beautiful painting," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes. Courtney and Katie gave each other knowing winks.

"Never mind the extras," Chris said, angry. "Tune in for another challenge, and our most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, next time on _Total Drama--"_

"Heather!" Lindsay yelled, as Courtney and Katie tackled Chris. Lindsay clapped to herself and stuck out her tongue. "Like I was going to let you say Kyle."

"Chris!" Chris yelled, angry. "Can you get off of me now?"

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Harold  
Cody: Bridgette  
Courtney: Harold  
Gwen: Harold  
Harold: Bridgette  
Katie: Harold  
Lindsay: Harold  
Tyler: Bridgette

Harold: 5  
Bridgette: 3

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel, Trent, Harold

Remaining Contestants: Bridgette, Cody, Courtney, Gwen, Heather, Katie, Leshawna, Lindsay, Tyler

* * *

Yep… Heather came back just in time to see Harold off. And, indeed, don't expect anyone to come back. We're down to the final nine! Who's time will be up next?


	37. Day 18, Part 1: Vote for Courtney!

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 37: Day 18: Part 1: Vote for Courtney!**

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, standing next to Ezekiel, who looked a little lost. Chris was glaring at Ezekiel, irritated. "Why are you here?"

Ezekiel shrugged. "Izzy said she couldn't be here to interrupt your opening monolooge, so she told me to do it, eh."

Chris grumbled a bit, then put on his huge smile and started making grand gestures. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _the contestants, at least most of them, had to get their acts together for the second annual Camp Wawanakwa talent show! Some of them had good acts, such as Courtney's nice rendition of a classic video game theme on the violin, and… that's about it, I guess. Personally, I kind of liked when Tyler knocked out his idiot girlfriend with his basketball." Chris chuckled to himself. "It's funny seeing stupid people get hurt!"

"That seems kind of mean, eh?" Ezekiel asked, not particularly happy.

"So?" Chris asked, shrugging. "She's a girl. I would have thought that you, of all people, would have thought that making fun of a stupid **girl **would have been more than appropriate!"

"I didn't knoo!" Ezekiel shouted, angry. "My father told me--"

"Nya nya-nya nya nya," Chris said in an extremely mocking tone, moving his hand like a puppet's mouth. "Face it, you hate girls, and deep down, you love when I make comments like that!"

"No, I doon't!" Ezekiel yelled, clenching his fists.

"Aww, did I huwt the poow sexist's feewings?" Chris asked, in a baby voice. "Poow, poow Ezekwiew! Does Ezekwiew need a wowwypop?" Chris straightened out his shirt and continued on normally. "Gwen had the worst act of all, though, and deserved to be burned at the stake for such a hurtful, deliberately cruel talent she had. I can't believe that's even legal!"

"Painting?" Ezekiel asked, angry.

"Well, when it's not of me, then yeah," Chris said, irritated. "Because she's apparently psychotic, that Nicole person liked Gwen's act, though, as well as Courtney's, a bit more understandably, so they were safe, along with Lindsay, who, I might add, probably had the second worst act." Chris rubbed his forehead. "A very painful act."

"I liked it, eh," Ezekiel said, shrugging.

"Look, I know you're not used to how the world works, but I promise, getting balls thrown at someone's head is only funny when it happens to **other **people!" Chris shouted, then resumed his plastic demeanor. "Meanwhile, for reasons I don't really understand, Leshawna picked Heather to go to Aruba with. Their trip was short, however, as hottie hot hottie Emily interrupted their vacation shortly after arriving to bring them back. Did I mention Emily is a hottie hot hottie? Because she is! And she loves me!"

Ezekiel blinked in confusion. "Who's Emily?"

"None of your business!" Chris yelled, then quickly returned to his trademark smile. "That night, Courtney had organized to get Harold voted off, unaware that Heather was going to be coming back that night. So what seemed like a good idea may not have been after all, since the lame H's seemed to like each other. But to keep the balance, when one H arrives, the other H must leave. Or something. I don't know. But I do know that Harold was voted off, and Heather is here again to stir up some of that classic drama that Heather excels at." Chris tapped his chin nervously. "At least I hope." Chris turned to Ezekiel. "You have any idea how we can get that old Heather back?"

"I doon't think anyone really wants her back," Ezekiel said, shrugging.

"But it's good for ratings," Chris pleaded. "And what's good for ratings is good for me!"

"She's nice now, eh," Ezekiel said.

"Well poo on you!" Chris yelled, angry. "We have nine contestants remaining. By the end of the night, that number will be reduced by one. Will your favorite contestant be the one leaving us tonight, like the ever-popular Gwen and Bridgette? Will your least favorite contestant be the one leaving, like those Tyler and Katie losers who don't really have any fans? Or will it be one of those contestants that half of you love, and half of you hate, and you fight like cats and dogs over whether or not she's good or evil, or something really lame. Personally, I can't understand how anyone could possibly like Courtney. Or any of the other contestants, for that matter. Except maybe Justin or Owen, but other than that, I don't get it at all. I'm actually surprised so many girls swoon over Duncan, but not Justin. Justin's hot, and Duncan's, well, less hot."

"Whoot are you talking about?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

"The stupid contestants," Chris said. "You're one of them. It's like you don't really get anything I'm saying. Hello, earth to Ezekiel!" Chris knocked on Ezekiel's head, angering him. "See? Nothing! You're so stupid that I can do almost anything and you don't care! But then, Izzy's so stupid that she complains every time I say anything, so it all evens out.""Izzy is not stupid!" Ezekiel yelled.

"Sure she is! Not the same as Lindsay, exactly, but she's just some stupid girl who does stupid things to get stupid attention. Now what kind of--ack!" Ezekiel had punched Chris, and he fell into the water.

"Izzy is not stupid!" Ezekiel yelled, as Chris bobbed his head at the top of the water, angry. Ezekiel just looked at the camera confused. "Eh, I guess someone's going to be booted off tonight, so stay tuned for _Total Drama Izzy, _eh?""Chris!" Chris yelled. _"Total Drama Chris! Total Drama Izzy _is a **completely **different show that I do not endorse whatsoever!"

Ezekiel scratched his head, confused. "Um, what?"

* * *

"I still can't believe Leshawna picked you," Gwen said, smiling, as Heather was painting her nails black in their cabin. "I mean, you deserved it, but I--that just came out of nowhere!" Leshawna, Lindsay, and Katie were in their beds as well.

"I wanted to do something nice," Leshawna said, smiling. "And I have to say, I'm glad you don't hate me even more for bringing Heather back here. You and Heather… who would've ever guessed it?"

"Gwen was different," Heather said. "Never gave her a fair chance. All I knew was that different was bad, and it infuriated me to no end."

"Can't say I liked you at first, either," Gwen said, smiling. "Though really, I didn't like anyone at first."

"But then, you slowly but surely started warming up to everyone," Heather said, smiling. "Well, except for me, but I can't blame you for that one." Heather started tapping her chin. "I still wish you would let me fix your hair color."

"And I'm still not going to let you," Gwen said, smirking.

"One day, one day," Heather teased.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I have to admit, seeing Gwen and Heather getting along, Courtney and Lindsay getting along… I swear everything's gone topsy-turvy this year!

Chris: (with his arms crossed over his chest) Gwen deserved to have her painting destroyed! Got that?!

* * *

"You want your nails done, Leshawna?" Heather asked, smiling as she turned to Leshawna.

"No," Gwen answered quickly. Leshawna nervously ducked down.

"Was that really necessary?" Heather asked Gwen, finishing up Gwen's final nail.

"You remember what she did to me?" Gwen asked, a bit irritated.

"Didn't I kind of do that to you last year too, though?" Heather asked, nervous.

"Yes, but I don't remember you pretending to be my friend, either," Gwen said, glaring death at Leshawna, who was looking nervous.

"As ridiculous as it sounds, I do believe she was trying to protect you," Heather stated.

"Please don't tell me you're taking her side," Gwen said, nervous.

"I don't know," Heather said, nervous as well. "I just think that maybe if you gave her another chance--"

"Not happening," Gwen stated coldly, then glared at Leshawna.

"Leshawna's not so bad, Greta," Lindsay cheerfully said from her bed, a little drowsy still.

Gwen shuddered. "It's Gwen. And how come you can remember **her **name but not mine?" Gwen pointed an accusing finger at Leshawna.

"I'm sorry Gre… I mean, Glen," Lindsay answered, smiling brightly. Gwen covered her face with her hand.

"You can't really blame Gwen," Katie said, a bit irritated. "What Leshawna did was, like, so wrong and unforgivable. If Sadie did that to me, I don't know what I'd do!"

"You'd dump her as a friend," Gwen stated. "That's what you'd do."

Heather gulped, nervous. "I really think you should--"

"Heather, stop that," Gwen said, irritated. "Are you on her side, or my side?"

"Well, your side," Heather answered, uncomfortable. "I mean, the girl who I tortured last year for no reason, versus the girl I tortured because she tortured me first."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: It's my fault that Gwen and Leshawna are enemies now--indirectly my fault, anyway--and it does bother me a bit that Gwen is essentially not allowing me to take up for them both, but how can I keep Gwen's trust if I betray her?

Gwen: As odd as it seems, I trust Heather not to go behind my back to deal with Leshawna. Maybe it's a little foolish, since we all remember what Heather was like last year, but I really do believe that she's changed.

Lindsay: What is her name? Greta? Gretchen? Gwen? Gaby? I wish someone would tell me. (Lindsay pauses for a moment to think.) Again. (Lindsay sighs.)

* * *

"Tyler, we're in trouble," Cody said, nervous, in his cabin.

"Why?" Tyler asked, confused. "You think Chris is up to something?"

"Well, yes, but that's not what I was talking about," Cody said, rubbing the back of his neck. "The girls are, well, **slightly **outnumbering us. And while I normally wouldn't complain about the high female-to-male ratio, I don't really like our odds."

"You should," Tyler said, smiling. "I mean, as long as you don't hit on Lindsay, you have, like, what, six other girls all to yourself? Though I guess some of them are taken, but--"

"I like **those **odds," Cody said, smirking, then turned more serious. "I don't like that they're picking us off one by one, though."

"You think they are?" Tyler asked, concerned.

"Well, yes," Cody said. "If we're going to survive, we need to find a way to even the playing field a bit."

"That sounds fair," Tyler said. "But we don't touch Lindsay."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Cody said. "She's not really masterminding any of the eliminations, anyway." Cody started to tap his chin. "At least I don't think."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: It was really smart of me to figure out that connection between Omar and Leshawna and voting off Isis and Heather!

* * *

"Courtney seems to be the one leading these eliminations," Cody said. She got Ezekiel off, she got Harold off, and somehow, she even got Trent off despite Leshawna getting more votes."

"Courtney's a little rough, but she's not that bad once you get to know her," Tyler said. "And besides, she's like Lindsay's new BF… L? BFR? BF… I don't know!" Tyler threw his hands in the air in frustration. "Do you know the term?"

"BFFs, usually," Cody said. "Sometimes even BFFL. Katie and Sadie are the only people I know who use BFFFL."

"Lindsay likes her, though."

"Well, Courtney isn't going to vote off Lindsay," Cody said. "At least not anytime soon, unless it comes down to her or Bridgette, and even then, I don't really know, but that's not the point. She **is **going to vote **us **off."

"I don't know," Tyler said, thinking. "She isn't that close to Gwen or Katie, is she? Maybe she'll target them instead."

Cody went wide-eyed and looked fearful before composing himself. "Dude, **so **not funny. Katie's really nice, and Gwen… well…" Cody was blushing, then composed himself again. "Really, those aren't very good options, either. We don't have a lot of choice," Cody said, concerned. "If we don't get rid of Courtney, she's going to get rid of us. She has the numbers to do it, too."

"But we're not touching Lindsay, right" Tyler asked, with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Of course not," Cody said. "You two are nice. I don't want to break you two up." Cody started to chuckle a bit. "I never really thought I'd ever be friends with a jock. I mean, I know I've claimed it before, that I know all the cool jocks, and I try to hang with them sometimes, but they don't really let me. I'm not one of the cool guys. I try to be, but I just don't fit in with them." Tyler sniffled a bit, then hugged Cody. "You don't have to do that, though."

"No, it's OK," Tyler said. "You're cool as far as I'm concerned."

"I mean, I'm a little uncomfortable being hugged by a guy," Cody said. Tyler quickly released him.

"Sorry about that," Tyler said, smiling uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sort of accepted by the jocks."

"Sort of?" Cody asked, confused.

"Well, I'm kind of at the bottom of the pecking order, but they let me in," Tyler said, nervous. "You're not really missing much."

"Well, that's because you're at the bottom. It's different at the top."

"I guess," Tyler said, thinking. "I don't know. I take what I can get."

Cody shrugged. "I guess if you're happy, anyway."

Tyler sighed. "Not that much. I'm just not very good at sports. I wish I could find one, just one even, that I could really rock at! I'm not even any good at badmitton, and that's like the sport everyone who's bad at other sports is good at!"

"Batmitton's not even like a real sport," Cody said, smiling. "Everyone knows badmitton's one of those lame sports no one really likes."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: First of all, it's badmi**n**ton! Badmi**n**ton! Get the name right! Second, badminton is the greatest sport ever, and only the coolest and most talented people can make it, which means none of the losers at this camp. And third, Gwen deserved to have her artwork destroyed, and that's that!

* * *

"So…" Katie said, trailing off, smiling innocently, circling her pointer fingers around each other nervously, standing in the boys' side of the cabin, looking around, "what'cha doing?"

"Katie," Cody started, "we need you."

"Eeeiii!" Katie squeed as she glomped Cody. "I'm taken, but still, that's so sweet of you! Eeeiii!"

"Having… trouble… breathing!" Cody gasped out.

Katie dropped him to the ground. "Heh heh… sorry about that," Katie said, smiling nervously.

Cody dusted himself off as he picked himself off the floor. "We're friends, right Katie?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Katie exclaimed, bouncing up and down a bit. "I mean, after Sadie and Noah, and probably Bridgette too, yes! That's, like, number four!"

"Tyler and I need your help," Cody said, nervous, rubbing his arm.

"Oh, anything to help you!" Katie exclaimed, beaming, and holding her hands together excitedly.

"Well, we need your help to get rid of Courtney tonight," Cody stated, nervous.

"But Courtney and I made up," Katie said, unsure. "She's nice now."

"Everyone's nice though, right?" Cody said, chuckling nervously.

"What about Leshawna?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow. "She's kinda' mean. Why not get rid of her?"

"Right now, Courtney's in the driver's seat," Cody said. "As much as I may despise Leshawna's guts, it'll be easy to get rid of her after her main defender is gone. Not to mention the person who's controlling all of the eliminations."

"Leshawna's been controlling the eliminations?" Katie asked, confused.

"Courtney," Cody said, a bit irritated. "Courtney's in control, and that's bad for me and Tyler, as well as you. She's not as close to you as she is to most of the other girls, and she isn't likely to keep you long after she gets rid of Tyler and me."

"You really think Courtney would get rid of me?" Tyler asked, worried.

"Well, yeah," Cody said, confused. "She may be nicer than she was last year, but she's still going to want to win this game at all costs. And she has a pretty tight-knit alliance, and they actually like her. If she wins, we lose."

"Well duh," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "Only one person can win. If I win, then she and you both lose, but if you win, then both she and I lose, and if Tyler wins--"

"I think you're missing the point," Cody said. "If we even want a chance at winning, we need to vote off Courtney.

"I understand now!" Katie exclaimed, smiling brightly. "Still, I just feel bad voting for Courtney. Ooh, maybe she'll win invincibility, and we won't be able to vote her off!"

"Well, we'll cross that bridge if we get to it," Cody said. "In the meantime--"

"What bridge?" Katie asked, confused. "We're crossing a bridge?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: Sometimes, Katie reminds me of Lindsay. I mean, Lindsay isn't stupid, but--no! Katie isn't stupid either! It's just-- (Tyler covers his face with his hand.) Never mind.

Chris: Sometimes, Bridgette reminds me of Lindsay, since they're both stupid, and they look almost identical except for Lindsay's better breasts. And sometimes Sadie and Leshawna remind me of each other, since they're both so fat that they make Owen look skinny by comparison, and Beth and Katie because-- (Chris shudders.) Don't even want to think about how frightening those two look. Oh, and it was still Gwen's fault!

* * *

"No," Gwen stated, standing in the middle of the boys' room, with her arms across her chest. "I'm not voting for Courtney. I'm voting for Leshawna."

Cody gulped. "We don't really like Leshawna much either--"

"I said no," Gwen stated coldly. "Courtney and I aren't best of friends, but she's still nice, even if I don't understand why she wanted to keep Leshawna around. I'm voting for Leshawna."

"We could always vote Leshawna off next time," Cody suggested, nervous. "It's important that we get rid of Courtney first, though, since--"

"Which part of 'no' did you not understand?" Gwen asked, angry. "I'm going to leave now and get some chow."

"Wait!" Cody shouted. "What if Leshawna wins invincibility?"

Gwen sighed. "Maybe. I'll need to think about it."

"We can discuss if later if that happens," Cody said, smiling. "We're patient."

"I'm not," Katie said, worried. "I don't want to have to wait to find out!"

"You'll survive," Cody stated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Look, I made a mistake a few days ago, and I'm mature enough to admit when I make a mistake. It was wrong for me to try to get revenge on Courtney when she was only helping a friend, even if said friend is the scum of the earth. I'm not exactly too keen on voting off the girl I was wrongly tormenting just a few days ago.

* * *

Bridgette was sitting in the mess hall, poking at a plate of green glop with her fork, as Katie walked in. "Bridgette!" Katie exclaimed, glomping Bridgette, and accidentally knocking her plate to the floor. "Oops… sorry."

"That's OK," Bridgette said, smiling. "The floor might cover up some of the flavor."

"Anyway, we had a great idea, and it would be great for you to get in on it!" Katie exclaimed, beaming..

"OK, what, what?" Bridgette asked, curious.

"Tonight, when we have to vote someone off, we should vote off Courtney!" Katie exclaimed, though her face fell almost immediately when she noticed Bridgette's face turn into a frown.

"Why would I do that?" Bridgette asked, not sounding happy. "She's one of my best friends here. I'm not voting her off."

"Aww," Katie said, looking down. "I thought we were best friends."

"I have more than one," Bridgette said, drumming her fingers on the table. "And I thought Sadie was your best friend."

"Oh yeah," Katie said, thinking about it for a moment. "But you're like my best friend who's still here! But we might be in danger if we don't vote Courtney off."

"Um, why?" Bridgette asked.

"Well, Courtney has a lot of power and influence here, and she's going to vote us all off if we don't vote her off first." Katie rubbed her shoe against the floor nervously.

"I don't think she's going to vote me off," Bridgette said, then sighed. "I'm guessing you're more worried about yourself, though."

"Well, yeah, and my other friends," Katie said, nervous, as she was hit by green glop from behind Chef's counter.

"I didn't feel like waitin' any more for you to get your butt over here to get your food!" Chef yelled. "I oughta' get a tip for bringin' it out to your table, lousy no good kids!"

"Yeah," Katie said, looking nervously to Chef, then took a taste of the glop on her, and turned green. "I need to go!" Katie yelled as she rushed out of the cafeteria.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (vomiting into the toilet bowl, and trying to block the camera with her free hand not holding onto the toilet bowl.

Lindsay: (holding her nose) It smells like someone made the same mistake I did before in here.

* * *

"Hey, Lindsay," Tyler said, waving, as he saw Lindsay walking around the campground.

"Tyler!" Lindsay exclaimed, as she ran up to glomp him, and started kissing him passionately. "You're the best!"

"Thanks," Tyler said, blushing. "Look, I had to talk about something kind of important."

"OK," Lindsay said, beaming.

"We need you to vote Courtney off tonight," Tyler said, sweating a bit.

Lindsay blinked for a moment, then raised an eyebrow. "Courtney's the girl who was a VIP and perfect tanned skin and my best friend, right?"

"Uh, yes?" Tyler said, sweating some more.

"Goodbye Tyler," Lindsay said, a bit angry.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (rolling her eyes) I can't believe Tyler wanted me to betray my best friend! I think he was confused when Heather betrayed me last year, and he thinks that's what best friends are supposed to do. Maybe it's just one of those things that only girls understand.

* * *

Tyler was looking around nervously. "Was that bad?"

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "You just asked me to betray my best friend!"

"So I take it that you're not going to vote off Courtney?"

"I'd vote myself off first!" Lindsay yelled.

"OK," Tyler said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "The rest of us can still vote for her, right?"

Lindsay shrugged. "I guess. She's not your best friend, so I guess it's OK. I'd like for you not to though, Tyler," Lindsay said sweetly, then kissed him on the cheek, and giggled. "You don't have to do what anyone else wants you to do!"

"Thanks," Tyler said, smiling.

* * *

Lindsay: You know, I used to wish to grow up to look like Patricia Anderson when I was little, and I think my wish came true, sort of. And she used to be a VIP, just like Courtney!

Chris: I was a big fan of that show, too. And it was still Gwen's fault, so don't blame me!

Tyler: When Lindsay said I didn't have to do what anyone told me to do, that also included Lindsay not wanting me to vote Courtney off, right? I think?

* * *

"Heather!" Gwen called out, as Heather was searching around near the forest. "I need to ask something of you."

"Have you seen Courtney around?" Heather asked, worried. "I was hoping to catch up with her for a while, but I can't find where she is. I even checked that stupid hole everyone seems to fall into, and she's not there, even."

"I haven't seen her," Gwen said. "I really need you to do me a bit of a favor tonight."

Heather looked nervous. "Dare I ask?"

"I would really like for you to vote for Leshawna to leave tonight," Gwen stated. "She really deserves to be kicked off after what she did to me and everyone else."

"She did bring me back here, though," Heather said, a bit hopeful.

"I tend to recall it being her fault you were kicked off in the first place," Gwen said, raising an eyebrow. "Anyway, I really need your help in getting her off tonight, OK."

Heather looked worried, then turned her head downward. "I can't do that."

Gwen groaned. "Why not?"

"She brought me back into this competition," Heather stated. "We're on shaky ground as it is. Do I really want to give Leshawna reason not to trust me?"

"Does it really matter?" Gwen asked, a bit irritated. "It's Leshawna. She doesn't care about us. She only cares about Leshawna."

"I don't really believe that," Heather said, worried. "If she weren't feeling guilty, she would not have brought me back to compete. I think she does know that she was wrong, and she's trying to make up for it."

"I see," Gwen said, not particularly happy. "She's using you to get ahead in the game."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: (crying a little, wiping a tear) I don't even really want to win. I don't deserve it. I just want to stay on long enough to try to get Gwen to forgive me.

Chris: **Gwen sucks!**

* * *

"You two used to be really close," Heather said. "I know she deserves a bit of revenge, but you got your revenge already with the hot box, right?"

"I guess," Gwen said, shrugging.

"I think it would be good for you two to talk," Heather said. "I could be there with you two if you like, if that would help."

Gwen looked up to the sky. "Maybe."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: I've been in Leshawna's position before. Having done some really horrible things, realizing what you've done, and trying desperately to get forgiveness. I'm not in a position to judge her.

Gwen: I really don't understand how Heather can be so forgiving. It's a little freaky, really. Heather? Forgiving? It's like she's a whole 'nother person from last year. Still, I'm a bit concerned about her loyalty to Leshawna, who tormented her relentlessly not only last year, but this year too. Something isn't right about that.

Chris: I hate you, Gwen!

* * *

Eight of the nine contestants, all except for Courtney, were standing before Chris, who was standing in front of the cabin, and started singing badly. "Sunny days, sweeping the clouds away--"

"That's worse than Cody!" Gwen yelled, covering her ears, as were the other contestants as well.

"Well, you--you stink!" Chris yelled back. "Anyway, you all are going to participate in what I like to call _Sesame Camp. _You are each going to play out the part of the Muppet that I have chosen for each of you. Do the best job, and you win invincibility!"

"Is Nancy judging?" Lindsay asked, worried. "You're a little too biflex, and I know you'll just pick whoever you like to win."

Chris scratched his head. "Nancy?"

"She means Nicole," Heather said, smiling.

"Oh, her," Chris said, irritated. "I didn't much care for her. What with her obvious bias toward Gwen, even though no one saw the painting, just stupidly assuming it was good."

"I'll kill you!" Gwen screamed, lunging at Chris, though Heather and Bridgette quickly came to get Gwen off.

"We all want to do that," Bridgette said. "Not a good idea, though."

"Thank you," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "The moronic blonde finally says something logical."

Bridgette glared, but Heather turned Bridgette away. "You have the high ground. Keep it."

Chris stood up and dusted himself off. "Thank you for ruining my perfect hair."

"Welcome!" Gwen exclaimed, smirking.

Chris grumbled, then continued on, and pointed to behind the cabin. "I would like for you all to meet the lovely Candice. Candice will be judging this competition." Chris waited, and started to look irritated after a few seconds. "You can come out now." A tall, tanned girl walked out from behind the cabin. She had dark brown eyes and waist-length dirty blonde hair. She was wearing pink flip flops, jean shorts, and a bright green bikini for a top which showed off her huge breasts. Chris was smirking. "I kind of forget why I didn't invite this one the first time. So much more beauti--I mean, more unbiased than that Nicole person.

"Hey!" Candice said, waving to the contestants, smiling. Cody and Tyler were drooling. Most of the girls looked disgusted, though Lindsay went over to Tyler and slapped him.

"Cut that out!" Lindsay yelled. "If you want to drool, look at me instead!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: How about asking Tyler not to drool at you, either? If Trent started drooling over me, I'd make sure it didn't happen a second time.

* * *

"I'm sorry we don't have many guys left to appreciate your presence here," Chris stated. "You are doing a fine job, though." Chris winked at Candice, who rolled her eyes.

"Aren't you, like, forty?" Candice asked, smirking.

"Twenty-six!" Chris yelled in frustration. "I'm only twenty-six!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Admittedly, I'm not too fond of Candice's personality, but honestly, I don't give a damn! I mean, just look at her! Who cares if she happens to be a bitch? She's like a cookie: that's good enough for me!

* * *

"Anyway," Chris stated, regaining his composure, "I have selected the character parts for each of you. Bridgette, come forward please." Bridgette nervously walked up to Chris, as he pulled out a couple of hair bows and a ballerina outfit.

"I'm not very good at ballet," Bridgette said, nervous.

"Well then it sucks to be you, since you're Zoe," Chris said, sticking out his tongue.

Bridgette looked confused. "Which one was Zoe?"

"Go away!" Chris complained. "We want Tyler to come up here now."

"Yeah!" Tyler exclaimed. "I know _Sesame Street _like I know sports!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Translation: not much at all.

Candice: Personally, Zoe was my favorite when I was a kid.  
(Chris opens the door and throws Candice out.)  
Chris: Contestants only! And Gwen still sucks!

* * *

"All right, I got Grover!" Tyler exclaimed pumping his fist, holding a blue shirt. "I get to try to help people a lot!"

"Yeah," Chris said, stepping away slowly. "Lindsay, would you come up here, please?"

Lindsay nodded, then made her way up to Chris. "You're really girly and stuff, and make me want to vomit, so you get to be Abby Cadabby." Chris handed Lindsay a pastel blue dress and fake magic wand.

"I love Abby Cadabby!" Lindsay exclaimed, jumping in excitement. "I like all of them, though, since _Sesame Street _helps learn me." Lindsay just continued smiling brightly.

"You can go away now," Chris said, irritated, as he led Lindsay away. "Cody, you're the man," Chris said, smiling. "Come on up!" Cody walked up to the stage and Chris handed him a blue and red striped shirt. "Ernie."

"So who's Bert?" Cody asked.

"Look," Chris said, putting his hand on Cody's shoulder. "I know it'll be hard to play Ernie without a Bert, but I planned these parts way in advance. Bert's been voted off already, so you'll have to do your best without him."

"You're making me uncomfortable," Cody said, nervous.

"I thought you liked when guys touched you," Chris said, smirking. "I mean, you are Ernie, right?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I have a pretty good feeling who Bert was going to be. (Cody shudders.)

* * *

"Leshawna," Chris said, then chuckled, making Leshawna nervous. "Everyone loves a good villain. Too bad you were a pretty lame one. Justin was a whole lot better."

"Say that again," Leshawna said, pulling Chris' shirt collar closer to her, putting his face right in hers.

"Calm down!" Chris yelled. "Geez, PMS much?"

Heather quickly rushed up to Leshawna before she punched Chris' lights out, who was crouching down, shivering.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: I have to admit, that was pretty cool, when Leshawna was about to knock out Chris. (Gwen smirks.)

Chris: OK, I'll admit I did make a little change, since Leshawna was becoming such a villain.

* * *

Chris handed Leshawna a trenchcoat and fedora. "You're Lefty. And don't worry, the trenchcoat is extra large."

"What you say about me?!" Leshawna yelled, and Heather kept holding Leshawna back.

"Really not worth it," Heather said. "Really best to control that anger." Leshawna sighed, then walked back, glaring at Chris.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I'm still mad at you for the cracks about my weight now, girl.  
Heather I'm sorry about that. I'm trying to better myself, I promise. (Heather smiles innocently.)  
Leshawna: (smiling) We'll work on it.

Lindsay: Who's Lefty?

* * *

"Heather, since you're here, you're next," Chris said, irritated, handing Heather a green collar. "You're Kermit, the frog."

"Why am I a male?" Heather asked, irritated.

"Because there aren't that many female Muppets," Chris said, irritated. "And you think you're better than all of the morons surrounding you, so yeah. You're Kermit."

Heather grumbled as she walked away. "At least people like Kermit, and know who Kermit is," Leshawna said reassuringly.

"Katie, you worthless pile of crap, you're next," Chris said, angry. Katie walked up and spit at Chris. "That's just wrong. But this is also wrong: you're the two-headed monster!" Chris handed Katie a very large purple shirt with two holes for two people's heads to go through. "We had that custom-made."

"But don't I need, like, two heads for this?" Katie asked, contorting her face.

Chris sighed. "How many times do I need to remind you guys that I had a character sheet for all twenty-two of you, and some of the parts have already been eliminated?"

"Um, so I have to do this by myself?" Katie asked. "A two-headed monster with only one head?"

"Well, yeah," Chris said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I could've planned this better, OK? Now scram! And speaking of scramming, get up here Gwen!" Gwen started walking up to Chris nervously as he brought out a garbage can. "You're really mean and grouchy all the time. So I could think of no better part for you than Oscar the Grouch."

"And I have to go in the garbage can," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"What? We took out enough garbage for you to fit!" Chris whined. "Just get in there!"

"I'm not getting in that thing," Gwen said, crossing her arms.

"If you don't participate, then you're getting kicked off right now, no voting ceremony, just instant kick you off, you ungrateful spoiled bitch!" Leshawna and Heather immediately rushed up, ready for Gwen to attack Chris, but Gwen simply collapsed and started crying. "OK, I'll give her a short break."

"You're horrible," Leshawna said, glaring at Chris.

"You're one to talk," Chris said, smirking. "I tend to recall both of you humiliating Gwen, and enjoying it."

Heather and Leshawna looked guilty as they walked Gwen away, while Chris was shaking his head, then he continued. "Courtney, come on up!" Chris exclaimed, then started looking around and become irritated. "OK, where's Courtney?"

"I don't know," Lindsay said, worried. "I haven't seen her all day. Maybe she's in that hole that everyone keeps falling into this season?"

Chris pulled out a walkie talkie and yelled into it. "Worthless interns! Find Courtney! We need Courtney, so get off your lazy butts and get her now!" Chris put the walkie talkie in his pocket and put his face in the palm of his hand. "Just can't find good help these days, I swear."

"**You **can't, anyway," Katie said, smirking.

Chris grumbled, then put on his trademark plastic smile. "You should all get into costume and practice whatever skits you guys want to do, because I'll be expecting you in a few hours. And I'll need to get Gwen to quit being such a baby and get into costume. But who will win the _Sesame Camp _challenge? And who will be leaving in our most dramatic campfire ceremony yet? Find out when we return with more of _Total Drama Chris!"_

"That be a stupid egotistical name for the show," Candice said, rolling her eyes.

"I didn't bring you here for your wisdom, thank you," Chris said, irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Courtney thinks she's pretty smart, trying to avoid the challenge to be voted off, since that's obviously the only reason she wouldn't be here. She apparently forgot about the sub-sub-fine-print-paragraph that specifically stated that it doesn't count if they willingly skip the challenge, so ha ha, Courtney! I out-lawyered you, you greedy little succubus!

* * *

"I'm sorry, Gwen," Heather said, crying a little, as she hugged Gwen, who was crying a lot inside their cabin.

"I'm sorry too, girl," Leshawna said sympathetically.

"What are you even doing here?" Gwen asked, angry. "Heather, can you make Leshawna leave?"

"She really wants to help you," Heather said, smiling.

"She can help by leaving me alone," Gwen stated coldly. Leshawna looked down, then headed out the cabin, and waited right outside.

"She really does care about you," Heather said, concerned. "I know she had a strange way of caring with the diary, but she really feels bad about that."

Gwen shook her head. "I can't believe you, of all people, are falling for her act."

Heather sighed. "I've got some great shampoos and soap that'll get you clean after the challenge. I don't want you to go home."

Gwen smiled and laughed a little. "If you could take a couple of vomit-filled baths, I guess I can get a little dirty, too."

"I'll be right back," Heather said, smiling, and crept out of the door, and saw Leshawna leaning against the side of the cabin. "I had a feeling you were still here."

Leshawna sighed. "I really don't know what I can do."

"You're doing the best you can," Heather said, smiling. "Just keep showing Gwen how loyal you are, and that it was just a stupid mistake, and she'll come over. And you can both celebrate your bad hair together." Heather smirked.

"And we can still make fun of your bald head," Leshawna said, chuckling a bit.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Maybe Gwen just doesn't like that shirt.  
Leshawna: Maybe she has a thing for skinny pale girls.  
Heather: I'll have you know I can tan.  
Leshawna: Spray tans don't count, girl.  
Heather: Well… still, that's a ridiculous shirt! (Heather thinks for a moment.) I wonder where Courtney is, anyway.  
Leshawna: Beats me, girl. She's been like my main defender here.  
Heather: She was my first friend when I came back here, too. I hope she's all right.  
Leshawna: (patting Heather on the back) Me too, girl. Me too.

Chris: Just kiss each other already! And Gwen's painting was still ultra mega lame!


	38. Day 18, Part 2: Prairie Daunting

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 38: Day 18: Part 2: Prairie Daunting**

Courtney was relaxed in a secluded clearing by the lake, a beautiful area on the island, a good way in. She had some stone, paint, and a chisel set aside, though at the moment, she was sitting on the ground, meditating, breathing calmly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: You know, I realized the other day that I hadn't made a figurine for Bridgette, and I'm sure she's aware that it wasn't really from Santa, and that she was a bit testy with me recently, and it occurred to me that she might have been hurt that I hadn't made one of the figurines for her! I'm really tying to train myself to be more conscientious of such matters, but I do still need some practice.

Chris: (making his hand into a puppet mouth) Blah blah blah blah blah, Courtney! Seriously, I could just use your confessionals instead of Nytol to get my z's.

* * *

"I've got a great idea!" Lindsay exclaimed to Chris, wearing a blue suit, and holding a wired microphone, looking surprisingly interested. "Except I don't have Elmo. I wish someone were Elmo."

"You're in luck!" Chris exclaimed, smirking. "Elmo, come on out!"

Over from the mess hall, Beth stepped out, wearing a red shirt, not looking particularly happy. "Why do we all have to be here?" Beth asked, irritated.

"Becky!" Lindsay exclaimed, and rushed over to glomp Beth. "I remember when we had to put up with Heather last year together, but she's actually nicer this year." Lindsay let go, then looked confused. "Where's Elmo, anyway?"

"I'm Elmo," Beth said, disgusted. "Chris forced us losers to come here in case one of you guys wanted to use us."

"Chris did no such thing!" Chris exclaimed, very over the top. "I, Guy Smiley, invited you all to participate in this fantastic game show!"

"Guy Smiley?" Lindsay asked, confused. "Well, I guess you could be him. I mean, you have a really long nose, and a pretty big chin--"

"That's enough," Chris said, a bit irritated, then resumed his over-the-top persona. "You and Lindsay need to cooperate for your skit. You do know what cooperation is, right?"

"Yes," Beth said, rolling her eyes.

"You're not a very good Elmo," Chris said, a bit irritated. "You really should work on that."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (sharing an extra-large two head-hole purple shirt with Sadie) Word spread pretty quick that the losers were all here, and that we could use them for our skits!  
Sadie: And I was so excited that Katie actually decided on me to do it with her!  
Katie: I didn't really have much choice. Hard to do the two-headed monster without the other head.  
Sadie: (smirking) I wonder if there's a way we could involve Bert in our skit.  
Katie: (smirking back) That's an excellent question. I wonder where we can find some pigeons.

* * *

Courtney was in her quiet area, carving out the stone, quite relaxed.

"Yip."

"Who's there?" Courtney asked, quickly turning around, suspicious.

"Yip, yip yip yip yip," Izzy continued, stepping out, wearing a blue dress with lots of danglies on the bottom.

Courtney slapped her face in frustration. "Izzy, what are you doing?"

Izzy took out a small book, then looked at Courtney. "Courtney. Courtney. Yip, yip yip yip yip. Uh-huh."

"You're acting ridiculous," Courtney stated, irritated. "More ridiculous than usual."

"Wrong!" Izzy exclaimed, pouncing on Courtney. "I'm acting in character!"

Courtney blinked. "What the hell character does that?!"

"The Martians!" Izzy exclaimed, then tapped her chin. "Or were they Venusians?"

"What are you blabbering on about?" Courtney asked, irritated.

"You know, Chris could've made you Oscar the Grouch," Izzy said, shaking her head.

"Speak English!" Courtney shouted.

"Where are we?" Ezekiel asked, coming out from the forest, wearing a cowboy hat.

"My private place that was once private!" Courtney yelled. "Why are you two here?"

"I don't remember," Ezekiel said.

"My Zekey gets in character pretty well, doesn't he?"

"No, I really don't remember," Ezekiel said, shrugging.

"I'm a Martian," Izzy proclaimed, putting her hand to her chest. "My Zekey is Forgetful Jones."

"Would you get to the point?" Courtney asked, impatient. "I have a project I would like to finish."

"Well, Guy Smiley's getting impatient, and he may kick you off the island if you don't report to him now."

"Why should I care about this Guy Smiley person?" Courtney asked, irritated. "Is he replacing Chris?"

"He is Chris," Izzy said, shaking her head. "You really don't get it, do you?"

Courtney rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "I would get it if you would stop talking in riddles."

"_Sesame Street," _Izzy said, rolling her eyes. "You're playing as _Sesame Street _characters."

"What's _Sesame Street?" _Ezekiel asked, confused.

"A completely juvenile show which I steadfastly refused to watch," Courtney stated. _"Sesame Street _was beneath me."

"You're kidding," Izzy said, blinking.

"I did sometimes see the very end of it, though," Courtney said, smiling. "It came on right before the _Nightly Business Report."_

"Night… um, what?" Izzy asked, blinking, then put her hand on Courtney's shoulder and shook her head. "I'm sorry your parents punished you."

"Punish, what?" Courtney asked, confused. "I wanted to watch it!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Seriously, intelligent shows like that, as opposed to baby shows that make one less intelligent, helped shape me into the practically perfect package I am today!

Lindsay: _Sesame Street _helped me learn my ABCs! I finally got it most of the time by the time I turned nine!

* * *

Courtney sneered at the blue and white dress Chris handed to her. "Who am I playing again?"

"Prairie Dawn," Chris stated. "If you need another character to work with you, then we have a supporting cast waiting in the mess hall for use, whether they like it or not."

"Oh," Courtney said, confused. "OK. Well, I don't really know most of the character. I think I remember one character… Kiki. I think that was her name. I liked her."

"Kiki?" Chris asked, confused. "There was no Kiki!"

"I'm pretty certain there was," Courtney stated. "I think there might've been a Leon and Julie, too."

"I grew up watching the show, and I have no idea what you're talking about," Chris said, irritated.

"Well, can you tell me who I am allowed to choose?" Courtney asked, nervous.

"Yes I can," Chris said, then chuckled. "I can, but I won't." Courtney seethed in frustration.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I really hate needing help and not being able to do something like winning a competition on my own, but I really don't see how I'm going to be able to complete this challenge without outside assistance.

Izzy: (reading a small book, while studying the toilet) Ah, bathtub. (Izzy steps into the toilet, sniffs, then gets back out.) Nope, nope nope nope nope.

Chris: (with his face in the palm of his hand) There is a such thing as getting too in character. Especially when none of the contestants even wanted to use you.

* * *

"I don't think this is going to be much of an act," Eva said, wearing a slightly lighter blue shirt, rolling her eyes, while holding a large rock.

"Well, Zoe likes rocks," Bridgette said, wearing an orange shirt. "I think, anyway. And your character--Herry was it?"

"Yes, and I know, he's really strong, but I still don't think this is much of an act," Eva said, shaking her head.

Bridgette sighed. "I still have to try. Chris threatened Gwen if she didn't participate at all."

"Bridgette!" Courtney exclaimed, in her blue and white dress, walking up to Bridgette. "And company, apparently. Look, do you know the names of these characters?"

"You're OK?" Bridgette asked, relieved. "Where were you?"

"That's not really important," Courtney said, shaking her head a bit. "Look, what can you tell me about these, uh, _Sesame Seed _characters, is it?"

"_Sesame Street, _and I don't remember them that well, either," Bridgette said. "I can't say I can tell who you are, really."

"Dawn, I think Chris called me," Courtney said, shrugging. "I really have no idea what this Dawn girl would do."

"I'm sorry," Bridgette said. "I haven't seen the show in ages, and I only have vague memories. I know who Elmo is, still."

"Everyone knows who Elmo is," Eva said, rolling her eyes. "That's because Elmo's a sellout!"

"Who's Elmo?" Courtney asked, confused. "Is he like one of those awful emo people?"

"Wow," Eva stated flatly, looking at Courtney in disbelief.

"The show was beneath me!" Courtney insisted, defensive.

"I think Lindsay can help you more," Bridgette said, smiling. "You should ask her for some help."

"Thank you," Courtney stated, and extended her hand to Bridgette for a handshake.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Oh yeah… Lindsay… I guess I can see how someone like Lindsay might be a fan of _Sesame Avenue._

Lindsay: (talking into her magic wand) Hey Paula, how are you? Paula? Hello? I know you're there, Paula.

* * *

"Poof!" Lindsay exclaimed, flicking her wand, with Beth standing next to her, looking dumbfounded. Lindsay then put her hands to her face, looking in mock shock. "Oh, no! I accidentally turned you into this cookie!" Lindsay held up a toy cookie, looking at it in horror.

Very quickly, Owen rushed up in a light blue shirt, and took the toy cookie from Lindsay's hand and at it. "Nom nom nom nom nom! Delicious!"

"Uh, what are you doing, Omar?" Lindsay asked, annoyed.

"I heard you mention cookies, and I just had to have it," Owen said, looking a bit guilty. "That's what me supposed to do."

"Cookie Monster?" Lindsay asked, raising an eyebrow. "It wasn't a real cookie, you know. It was a doggie toy."

"It was so convincing, though," Owen said, tapping his fingers together, nervous. "You really shouldn't tease me. Me love cookies! And every other sometimes food, too!" Lindsay shook her head, covered by her hand.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Even I know the difference between fake cookies and real ones, even though most of the time, I wouldn't eat either. Too many calories, and I really want to keep my figure.

* * *

"Lindsay!" Courtney exclaimed, smiling brightly, walking up to Lindsay. "Just the person I wanted to see!"

"Courtney!" Lindsay exclaimed, glomping Courtney. "I was really worried about you! Where were you?"

"It's… well, it's not really that important," Courtney said, nervous.

"Well, could you tell me what you think of this idea," Lindsay said, looking serious. "I, as Abby Cadabby--"

"Who's Abby Cadabby?" Courtney asked, confused.

"Abby Cadabby is a pretty pink fairy kid who still doesn't quite have the hang of her magic," Lindsay said, explaining it seriously. "Me and my friend, Elmo--"

"Who's Elmo?" Courtney asked, more confused.

"I'm Elmo!" Beth exclaimed, waving.

"Well, me and my friend Elmo were going to buy two ice cream cones, but then, we realized that the shopkeeper only gave--"

"Who's the shopkeeper?" Courtney asked, a bit flustered.

"There… is no shopkeeper," Lindsay said. "I think it might've been owned by someone named Mr. Looper, but that's not really important. So, me and Elmo get only one ice cream, but we have to count them to make sure, and there really is only one."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Having to listen to that entire monologue… is it any wonder that I don't have many friends? I don't know why this is accepted from others, but if nothing else, I'm trying here, people!

Lindsay: I could tell that Courtney wanted me to finish up, but it was so nice of her to listen anyway. Though thinking back, she could've criticized me better if she knew what _Sesame Street _was.

* * *

"And then me and Elmo hug!" Lindsay exclaimed, excited, as she started caressing herself. "What do you think?"

"I… I really don't know," Courtney said. "I'm not familiar with _Sesame Road."_

"_Sesame Street," _Lindsay said, smirking. "Don't worry, though. I'm bad with names, too!"

Courtney looked down. "It's a little embarrassing, doing that."

"I know," Lindsay said, smiling brightly. "You get used to it after a while. At least no one's making fun of you."

Courtney gulped, looking guilty. "Did I make fun of you?"

"I don't think so," Lindsay said, scratching her bandanna. "But you did tell Tyler how smart you thought I was, spying on the team through him."

Courtney blinked, then looked down. "Oh, yeah, that. Sorry about that."

"Sorry for calling me smart?" Lindsay asked.

"I didn't think you were smart," Courtney stated. "At least not after I learned more about my enemies."

"Oh," Lindsay said, looking down, crying a little. "I really thought you thought I was more smarter than that. I guess not."

Courtney slapped her face in frustration, then dragged it down her face. "Look, I was wrong! You really are smarter than people give you credit for! You're just a little slow sometimes, but that only makes people underestimate you! It should be no surprise when you save the day, like figuring out what Owen working with Leshawna, or solving the supposed murder, or… well, seriously, you're intelligent!"

Lindsay was tearing up, and wiped a tear from her eye before glomping Courtney again. "Thank you!" Courtney pat Lindsay's back.

"Can I join in too?" Beth asked, hopeful.

"Yes!" Lindsay exclaimed, though Courtney looked a bit unsettled, though Beth joined in anyway, smiling, and Courtney reluctantly accepted, for a good fifteen seconds before letting go.

"Anyway, Lindsay, what do you know about Dawn?" Courtney asked, hopeful.

"Who's Dawn?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I don't think… Dawn… Dawn… I don't know who Dawn is. Is she a real character?"

"Well, do you know who's dress this is supposed to be," Courtney said, pointing to her dress.

"Oh, that's Prairie Dawn's dre--oh!" Lindsay exclaimed, then slapped her face. "I'm so stupid sometimes. Prairie Dawn!"

"OK," Courtney said, embarrassed. "What can you tell me about Prairie Dawn?"

"She's such a sweet little girl!" Lindsay exclaimed. "She's really smart and organized, but she's also kind of bossy and impatient sometimes, and--" Lindsay eyes suddenly shot wide open. "I--I mean, she's the greatest friend ever!" Lindsay smiled nervously at Courtney.

Courtney smirked back, with her arms crossed over her chest. "I take it I remind you of this puppet person?"

"A little," Lindsay said, smiling innocently. "She really likes putting on school plays, and going on adventures, and things."

"Thank you," Courtney stated. "You've been a great asset for me. Good luck with the challenge, Lindsay."

"You too!" Lindsay exclaimed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: It actually feels really good, being the smart one for a change.  
Courtney: I can't say I enjoy being the stupid one, though.  
Lindsay: That's my life, every day. You get used to it.  
Courtney: Do most, well, less intelligent people feel this way?  
Lindsay: A lot of us do, yes.  
Courtney: And you really can't just teach others to be more intelligent.  
Lindsay: It's not always easy for everyone.  
Courtney: I'll do what I can after the show is over.  
Lindsay: Thank you!

Heather: I was really happy when we found Courtney was all right, but she wouldn't tell us where she was. I'm deathly curious where she was, and why it's such a secret. Wonder if she was making out with Duncan somewhere…. (Heather taps her chin.)

Chris: **Gwen sucks!**

* * *

Chris was standing on the amphitheater stage, while the nine contestants were sitting in the bleachers.

"_De ja vu _much, Chris?" Katie asked, smirking.

"This is nothing like the last challenge," Chris grumbled, then started to smile. "The eight of you have prepared some _Sesame Street _skits for us to watch and enjoy. And maybe laugh at you. Not with you. At you."

"Nice to see you're still the same asshole," Gwen said, angry.

"That wasn't nice," Chris whined. Gwen gave Chris the finger, causing Chris to reel back a bit. "Some people. Anyway, Gwen, since you seem to want to get this over with as soon as possible, I'll allow you to go first."

"Fine," Gwen said, rolling her eyes, as Chris brought the garbage can onto the stage. Gwen opened the lid, and looked like she was going to vomit, but held it in as she stepped into the garbage can, and closed the lid, with her inside.

Geoff, wearing a reddish-purple shirt, walked over and knocked on the trash can. "Hey Oscar!" Geoff exclaimed. "It's time for 'Ask Oscar,' so come out and answer today's question!"

"No," Gwen said from inside the garbage can.

"Come on!" Geoff whined, and then took out a letter. "This letter is from Chrishawna, the meanest grouch. 'Dear Oscar, what's the meanest, rottenest thing I can do to someone? I need your help to become the grouchiest I can be!' Whoa, harshness."

Gwen popped the lid of the garbage can open and stuck her head out. "Well, you can do two things. One is to read someone's diary to the entire world, and two, you can destroy someone's painting that they poured their soul into. Now scram!" Gwen ducked back into the garbage can and put the lid back on.

"Gnarly answer, Oscar dude!" Geoff said, giving a thumbs up. Bridgette was giggling from the bleachers. "And that's all the time we have today for 'Ask Oscar,' so say goodbye!"

"No," Gwen said, angry.

"Well, thank you for answering today's question, dude!" Geoff exclaimed.

"You're not welcome," Gwen said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: As far as _Sesame Street _goes, if I had to pick a character, Oscar would be my favorite, I'll admit. I mean, I still didn't really like this challenge much, or the actual garbage.

Bridgette and Geoff: (passionately making out)

* * *

Gwen was standing outside the garbage can, covered in garbage. "This is disgusting."

"I'll meet up with you in the washroom," Heather said, wearing a reporter hat and coat, and carrying a microphone, walking up to the stage, holding her nose. "Chris, could I please go next so I can hurry and help Gwen clean up?"

"Fine, whatever," Chris said, waving her along dismissively from the side of the stage.

"Thank you," Heather said, smiling. After Gwen started walking away, Heather noticed the garbage can still on the stage, and, disgusted, kicked it toward Chris, rolling over him.

"That hurt!" Chris whined.

"Not as much as you hurt Gwen," Heather said, smirking.

"Just go!" Chris yelled.

Heather smiled as Harold walked onto the stage, wearing a red cape, top hat, and holding a magician's wand. "This is Kermit the frog, with another amazing news story! With me I have, um… why don't you remind us of your name, please."

"The Amazing Mumford," Harold said, smiling.

"The Amazing Mumford, you're a magician, right?"

"Correct, m'lady," Harold answered.

Heather giggled for a bit. "And you were going to perform some magic tricks for us."

"Correct again!" Harold proclaimed.

"Now, why don't you show us something," Heather said, looking interested, then turned to the audience. "Now pay attention!"

Harold cracked his knuckles, then waved his wand. "Ala peanut butter sandwiches!" Upon uttering those words, a puff of smoke appeared, and Heather had disappeared.

"Where am I?" Heather asked, her voice echoing from somewhere unseen.

"I have made you disappear," Harold stated, smiling calmly.

"That's, well, amazing!" Heather exclaimed. "Now bring me back!"

"Um, I haven't learned that part yet," Harold said, nervous.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: For the record, yes, Harold did know how to bring me back, but Harold told me the Amazing Mumford isn't that good of a magician. I trust him in such matters, since I've largely flushed a lot of my juveniles memories like _Sesame Street _out of my mind.

Bridgette and Geoff: (still passionately making out, as Chris opens the door and starts to yell)  
Chris: Geoff! You're not a contestant! Get out! (Chris grabs Geoff and tosses him out, leaving Bridgette sitting there, angry.)

* * *

Leshawna was on the stage, wearing her trenchcoat and fedora, with Owen in a light blue shirt standing there, looking around casually, as Leshawna herself snuck around the stage, looking around suspiciously, until she leaned sideways toward Owen. "Hey, bud,"

"What?! What?!" Owen exclaimed, startled.

"Shhh." Leshawna put her hand over Owen's mouth. "I have the deal of a lifetime for you. This is something everybody needs. Something everybody wants. Something that can change your life."

"The suspense is killing me!" Owen shouted, before being shushed by Leshawna again. "The suspense is killing me," Owen whispered.

"Well, tell that suspense goodbye when I show you…" Leshawna reached into one of the trenchcoat's pockets, but wound up pulling nothing out, "this."

"Uh, I don't see anything," Owen said, confused.

"Right, right," Leshawna said, shifting her eyes about. "That's just it: it's an invisible cookie."

"Oh boy, me love cookies!" Owen exclaimed, before being shushed by Leshawna again. "Right, me love cookies, quiet, right," Owen whispered.

"Looks pretty delicious, doesn't it?" Leshawna asked.

"Actually, it doesn't look delicious," Owen said, unsure. "It really doesn't look like anything at all."

"That's because it's invisible," Leshawna said quietly. "Say you have a box of regular cookies, and Owen sees you with the box of cookies. What do you think Owen would do?"

Owen thought about it for a few moments before answering. "Owen would take my cookies away from me?""Right, right, but what if Owen couldn't see your cookies?"Owen started twiddling his fingers. "Then… hey, then Owen wouldn't know I had cookies, so he wouldn't swipe them away from me, yeah!" Leshawna shushed him again, startling Owen. "I mean, yeah," Owen whispered nervously. "How much are these invisible cookies?"

Leshawna stretched her neck out to the right, then to the left, then back, then leaned closer to Owen. "Five dollars a box," she whispered.

"Five dollars a box?!" Owen shouted, before being tackled by Leshawna. "I mean, five dollars a box?" Owen whispered, lying on the ground.

"Yeah, yeah," Leshawna said, looking around. "So, we have a deal?"

"Sure," Owen whispered. "Me love invisible cookies that Owen can't steal from me."

Leshawna got a box of cookies from out of her coat, and handed it over to Owen. "Nice doin' business with ya', kid."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Owen complained. "This box of cookies isn't invisible at all! Owen's going to see this and steal it!"

"I said the cookies were invisible," Leshawna said, looking around. "I didn't say they came in an invisible box." Owen shrugged, with a 'why me' expression on his face.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: This challenge is lame!  
Lindsay: Well, yeah, they are missing the magic that the show has.  
Courtney: Somehow, I'm doubting the show is any better.  
Lindsay: I kind of like it, though.

* * *

"Bert, ol' buddy, ol' pal!" Cody exclaimed, in a horizontally-striped red and blue shirt, walking over to Noah on the stage, in a vertically-striped yellow and brown shirt.

Noah rolled his eyes. "What is it, Ernie?"

"Someone said that we were lovers," Cody said, looking worried.

"You know those are just stupid rumors," Noah said. "I love oatmeal and paperclips and pigeons, but I don't love you!"

"Aww, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, ol' buddy Bert," Cody said, smiling. "In fact, I'm so happy to hear that, I'm going to sing!"

"**No!**" Chris yelled, then wiped some sweat from his forehead. "I--I mean, I think we've seen enough."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: It almost pains me to say this, but thank you Chris!

Chris: It seems I'm finally getting some of the respect I so rightly deserve! 'Bout time!

* * *

Katie and Sadie were on stage, sharing a large purple shirt with two holes for two persons' heads to fit through, with Katie standing on Sadie's right. The two started speaking what sounded like nonsense to everyone, and Chris himself was scratching his head.

Noah, still dressed as Bert, then walked onto the stage, rolling his eyes, holding a large sign reading "kiss Noah."

"A bleh bleh?" Katie asked to Sadie, who shrugged. "Kiss?"

"No… ah," Sadie replied

"Kiss," Katie said.

"No-ah," Sadie replied again.

"Kiss."

"Noah."

"Kiss."

"Noah."The two girls then looked to each other excitedly, and exclaimed together: "kiss Noah!" The two approached Noah, who looked a bit frightened, while Katie started kissing him somewhat passionately, while Sadie was kissing him more innocently.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: We were actually talking our own made-up language there. We understood each other perfectly.  
Sadie: I asked Katie if I was supposed to kiss Noah, too.  
Katie: And I told her she could, but nothing on the mouth. That was my territory.  
Sadie: I thought you said he was your terrier.  
Katie: (thinking for a few seconds) Actually, I think you're right.

* * *

"Couldn't Chris have bought a new, unused garbage can?" Heather asked, angry, from outside Gwen's shower in the washroom.

"Could have, but that wouldn't be cruel enough for us," Gwen said.

"Need anything, girl?" Leshawna asked, entering the washroom.

"Not from you," Gwen stated, not sounding happy. "If I need something, Heather can take care of it."

"I don't know," Heather said, a bit nervous. "Leshawna could help me in helping you."

"Don't see how," Gwen said.

"As much as it still bothers me to think it, Leshawna isn't completely devoid of admirable qualities."

"Gee, thanks," Leshawna said sarcastically.

"She's always been very loyal to you, Gwen," Heather said, glaring back at Leshawna. "I made a mistake, she made a mistake--"

"You made a lot of 'em," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe to Gwen," Heather muttered to herself before continuing. "Anyway, believe me, Leshawna really cares about you. Just give her a little chance. I can set up a meeting between you two. I can mediate if you wish."

"If you'll quit bugging me, then fine," Gwen said, irritated. Leshawna shrugged as well.

"I'll work out the details," Heather said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I ever mention how freaky new Heather is?

* * *

"Oh no!" Bridgette, in an orange shirt, fakely exclaimed. "My pet rock! You're hurting my pet rock!!"

"Don't be silly," Eva said, then laughed maniacally. "I mean, it's just a rock. A rock is not alive."

"Oh, tee hee, you're right Eva… um, Herry!" Bridgette said. "You're so smart and strong!"

"Well, you're learning, " Eva said, looking sick to her stomach. "It's always fun to learn." Chris was cringing at the side of the stage.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (Bridgette stares blankly at the camera for a few seconds, then slaps her face, shaking her head in her hand.)

* * *

"Waiter! Oh, waiter!" Duncan shouted in a fairly good Eastern European accent, sitting at a small table, while wearing a purple cape and a monocle.

Tyler came rushing out to Duncan. "I, Grover, shall be your waiter this lovely evening. What can I get for you?"

Duncan smiled. "I want… spaghetti and meatballs. And please, hold the garlic. It's wery bad for my allergies." Duncan thought for a moment longer. "And I'd like a Blood Light, to drink."

"All right, I will have your order in two shakes of a cow." Tyler violently turned around and rushed behind the curtain. "Hey, Charlie! Strings and things in blood, and… well, blood!" A few seconds later, Tyler came out, carrying a plate of fake spaghetti and meatballs, and a glass of fake blood. "Please tell me if everything is to your liking."

"I shall see," Duncan said, smirking, then looked at his glass. "One! One glass of Blood Light, ha ha ha!"

Tyler started making strange sound effects, and turning a flashlight on and off rapidly, surprising everyone else, including Duncan.

"Dude, what was that?!" Duncan yelled, startled.

"Well, you know… after you count, there's thunder and lightning."

"In a restaurant?!" Duncan asked, still a bit put off.

"Well, yeah," Tyler said, a bit confused. "It happens inside too. At least I think it did."

"Never mind," Duncan said, shaking his head in his hand. "Where was I… oh yes. I accept the drink, but I must now count the meatballs. Three come in a serving, right?"

"Well, usually, yeah," Tyler said, confused.

"Then I shall count to make sure you have brought me the correct number. One, one meatball! Two, two meatballs! Three, three meatballs! Ha, ha, ha!"

Suddenly, thunder and lightning came from the sky, nearly striking Tyler. "What the hell was that?!"

"The remote control cloud!" Chris shouted from the side of the stage. "I had an extra setting put in for this season, just in case!"

Tyler was shaking, approaching Duncan once more, then continuing. "So you have three meatballs. Are you happy with your meal?"

"Not yet," Duncan said. "Typically, the meal comes with thirty-two strands of spaghetti, so I shall count them, to make sure I have not been shortchanged. One, one strand of spaghetti! Two, two strands of spaghetti! Three, three strands of spaghetti! Four, four strands of--"

Tyler, looking in shock, collapsed to the ground, and started sucking his thumb.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: Yeah, I rocked out there!

Duncan: Yeah, that was pretty lame, but it was cool to see Courtney in the audience. Even if she was glaring at me the whole time.  
Chris: (throwing the door open) You aren't a contestant! You don't belong in here!  
Duncan: (making a fist) Wanna' make something of it, old man?  
Chris: OK, OK, I think I can… Chef! Help me!  
Duncan: (shaking his head) Pathetic. (Duncan sticks his head out of the confessional.) Yeah, you'd better run!

* * *

"Oh, no!" Lindsay exclaimed,, wearing fairy wings and carrying a magic wand with a star on the end of it. "The shopkeeper only gave us one ice cream cone, but there are two of us!"

"Whatever shall we do?" Beth asked, wearing a red shirt.

"I know!" Lindsay exclaimed. "I can use my magic want to add another ice cream cone, because when you have one, and you add another one to that first one, you get one, two!"

"That's a great idea!" Beth exclaimed. "You're so smart, Abby Cadabby!"

"I'm also very pink!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (banging his head on the wall) Make it stop! Make it stop! She's ruining my childhood!

Courtney: (looking concerned) All those childhood years, not watching _Sesame Sleep, _I think I was right not to watch.

* * *

Courtney was sitting at a piano on the left side of the stage, wearing a blue and white dress, as she started to play, and sing. "I welcome you all to my pageant today, where we will all learn how to see ourselves grey."

Duncan stepped out from behind the curtain, as Courtney continued singing. "For this one, he'll suck and he'll bite with his teeth, but somewhere deep down is a softie beneath."

Courtney winked at Duncan, as he rolled his eyes, and made scary poses, and DJ walked out, wearing a big, brown, earless elephant suit. "And this guy is large, but a really nice gent, but no one will buy he's a fake elephant."

"Snuffleupagus, actually," DJ said, nervous, raising his hand a little. "I'm not really an elephant."

Duncan and DJ moved over as Trent walked onto the stage, wearing a lot of yellow feathers, and Courtney continued singing. "Now this guy is big for a bird I should say, but he is not Bert, who some say he is gay."

"Bert isn't gay!" Noah shouted from backstage. "I'm not either!"

"I know, sweetie!" Katie exclaimed from the bleachers.

Duncan, DJ, and Trent moved aside, but no one was coming out. Courtney continued playing the piano, but was clearly getting impatient, and glaring at Chris, who rolled his eyes, then walked backstage."

"I'm not doing it!" Justin shouted. "You can't make me!" A second later, Justin was pushed out onto the stage, wearing an orange and white dog suit.

Courtney resumed singing. "And this guy's a dog, he's is last and, yes, least, there's no better form for this scum of a beast. And these are my friends, though they are but a few, I thank thee for staying, I hope you liked, too!" Courtney was beaming, and bowing to the audience, while the four on stage just looked a bit confused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I actually did it! I actually did it! (Courtney hugs Lindsay tight.)  
Lindsay: I told you I remembered Prairie Dawn's tune! She used that same piece of music for a lot of her different plays.  
Courtney: I've **so** won this thing!  
Lindsay: You don't think I won?  
Courtney: Well… no, not really.  
Lindsay: (sighing) Well, thank you for being honest, at least.

* * *

Gwen, Heather, and Leshawna were returning to the amphitheater's bleachers, and Chris was bringing Candice onto the stage. "Have you made your decision?" Chris asked.

"Yes," Candice said, and sighed. "I was really hoping Bridgette could win."

"Why--never mind," Chris said, shaking his head in his hand. "Who wins?"

"Well, a few stood out to me as bein' better," Candice said, smiling. "Gwen's was funny, but it sounded a bit like she had a score to settle, and that's not really true to the _Sesame Street _spirit, so she was out. Courtney's was also, like, so perfect with Prairie Dawn's pageants, but she didn't seem to have any clue who anyone was. And I know Leshawna's been, like, really mean to everyone this year, but it seemed true to the show, and even if it was kinda' ripped-off the invisible ice cream cone sketch, I still have to say Shawni wins!"

"Good enough for me," Chris said, staring at Candice's chest, then turned to look at Leshawna. "Leshawna, you're the winner for this challenge! Rest of you could be on the chopping block tonight. Hope it's not you, ha ha!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I liked Kiki… I thought. Are you **sure **there's no Kiki?  
Lindsay: Positive.  
Courtney: OK, there was definitely someone I liked with a name something like that.  
Lindsay: I wish I knew who, too.  
Courtney: (blankly staring for a moment) That was pretty good, what you did there.  
Lindsay: (scratching her head) What was?

* * *

"Cory, was it?" Lindsay asked, confused, as she, Bridgette, Heather, and Leshawna were gathered around Courtney.

"Cody," Courtney corrected. "We can ensure our survival by eliminating the weak."

"It's a little scary how you sound like me," Heather said, smirking, giving Courtney a thumbs up. "I like it!"

"Well, I just don't want to lose, and I don't think any of you want to lose either," Courtney said, nervous.

"It's not really that bad," Bridgette said, shrugging. "Gotta' go sooner or later."

"One of us doesn't have to go, ever, and hopefully, I can make that two of us!" Courtney exclaimed.

"You and one of us, I take it," Heather stated, smirking.

"Well, preferably," Courtney said, twiddling her fingers. "But if it's two of you guys, I will be decently content with that.

"She's honest about it, anyway," Leshawna said, shrugging. "I don't think she's trying to take advantage of us, least not too much."

"We benefit too, realize," Heather stated.

"Courtney's doing this to help us win!" Lindsay exclaimed, glomping Courtney. "She's trying to help us win! That's why we need to vote Cory off!"

"Cody," Courtney stated, smiling. "We can do this!'

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Well, obviously, I, myself, and my four closest allies here voted against Cody, so no matter what, it's five to four, at worst, and Cody's gone. I'm sorry, Cody, but it was purely a strategically move on my behalf.

Cody: Well, I know me, Tyler, Gwen, and Katie are all voting for Courtney. I'm not sure if they were able to convince a fifth person to join in, but it would be good for them. Courtney's just going to take advantage of them like Heather did, probably using them just to get ahead. I mean, Bridgette's nice, and Lindsay's not mean, but Heather and Leshawna? She's so just using them. I can't imagine why anyone would want to willingly hang with those two.

* * *

The nine contestants were sitting on the tree stumps around the campfire that night, with Chris behind his podium, holding up a plate of eight marshmallows. "Campers, I am disappointed in you. You were pathetic out there! Nonetheless, Leshawna was still the best of the worst, I suppose, and as such, she is safe for tonight. Please come up to claim your marshmallow." Leshawna looked both relieved and guilty, but nonetheless complied, and walked up to receive her marshmallow. "The rest of you really, really sucked though! It's not often you see so much suckitude in one place, ha ha!"

"It really wasn't that bad," Lindsay said, nervous.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Actually, yeah, it kind of was that bad. Not that I wanted to publicly agree with Chris, mind you.

* * *

"Anyway, when I call your name, come up to receive your marshmallow," Chris said, smiling. "The one of you who does not receive a marshmallow is the losiest loser of all, and must immediately walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back, for realsies this time."

"Bridgette."

"Gwen."

"Heather."

"Katie."

"Tyler."

"Lindsay."

Lindsay clapped for herself, but then nervously looked back to see Courtney and Cody remaining, and suddenly she looked scared, and started shaking. Everyone else was also looking worried, for differing reasons, except for Courtney, who looked completely confident.

"Campers," Chris stated, "there are only two of you remaining. One of you will get this final marshmallow, and be safe. The other will not, and will go home a big fat loser."

"That would be you, Chris" Courtney said, smirking.

"We'll see if you keep that cocky attitude of yours," Chris said.

"I know for a fact that at least five people voted for Cody to leave tonight," Courtney said. "I have nothing to worry about here. Four votes against me will not help Cody." Courtney turned to Cody, looking sympathetic. "Cody, this was nothing personal against you, but I do have to look out for my closer friends and my own best interests. You understand, I hope."

"I guess," Cody said, looking down.

"You're making him feel worse, you know," Gwen stated.

"Oh," Courtney exclaimed, looking embarrassed. "Sorry about that," Courtney said sing-songy.

"If I may continue, and I may," Chris said, irritated, "the final marshmallow of the night goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Cody."

Cody looked a little surprised, then calmly strutted up to collect his marshmallow, while Courtney was sitting there, looking dumbfounded, with her eye twitching.

"Courtney?" Lindsay asked, worried, as she approached Courtney, "are you OK?"

"Chris, could you count those votes again?" Courtney asked, obviously hiding her anger somewhat, with her voice straining.

"I checked," Chris said, irritated. "Five votes Courtney, four votes Cody. And no, no one switched any votes! We checked."

"You're kidding," Courtney said, looking like she was about to crack, making weird movements. "Isn't Chris so funny? Laugh, laugh at the funny joke! **Ha ha ha ha ha! Let's laugh! HA! HA! HA!**"

"You're scaring me," Chris said, shivering slightly, ducking behind his podium.

"I'm sorry, Courtney," Lindsay said, crying, as she started hugging Courtney.

"I'm sorry, too," Bridgette said, also walking up to hug Courtney.

Leshawna and Heather nervously looked to each other, shrugged, then started approaching Courtney before she completely cracked. "We have a Benedict Arnold among us!" Courtney yelled, looking deranged. "**One **of you voted for me! And I'll find out who it was. And you will **pay! YOU! WILL! PAY!!!**"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: I know I was trying to convince Heather to vote off Courtney earlier, but I'm actually kind of hoping that it wasn't Heather about now.

Katie: Bridgette, I promise to protect you if you voted off Courtney! (Katie makes a non-existent muscle.)

Tyler: If Courtney does anything to you, Lindsay, I can mess her up real good! (Tyler shakes his fists.)

Cody: (shrugging) It was probably Heather or Leshawna. Neither one seems particularly loyal. Still, as scary as that outburst was, it pretty much proved that we booted off the right person.

* * *

"Please calm down," Lindsay said, crying, clenching on to Courtney. "It'll be OK, I promise!"

"**I LOST! OK is over! I lost because--YOU!**" Courtney screamed deafeningly, breathing very heavily, pointing to Heather. "**YOU did this!**"

"I didn't," Heather said, nervous. "You were the first person who--"

"**You can't be trusted, and I stupidly trusted you! And I stupidly started this damn chain reaction, getting everyone else to trust you, and I was WRONG!" **Everyone else was watching nervously, except for Chris, who was long gone.

"Courtney, please--" Bridgette started, but was interrupted by Heather.

"No," Heather stated. "You can believe what you want to believe, but I am **not **the same girl I was last year. I **have **changed, and I believed you. Except you didn't believe me after all."

"**I did believe you!"**

"I voted for Cody tonight," Heather said, angry, getting close to Courtney's face. "I have, or at least had, respect for you, being essentially the nicer version of me last year, and becoming even better this year, which Lindsay really helped bring forth."

"Thanks," Lindsay said, smiling a bit.

"And you're throwing all the good you've done away for some petty vengeance, and you don't even know what happened? Have you ever even thought that Chris could just be being a dick again?"

"I--I--" Courtney collapsed, sobbing profusely at Heather's feet. "I don't know! I just don't--I mean I--it's not fair!" Courtney just laid there for several minutes, as Lindsay went down to hug her, then Bridgette, Leshawna, and Heather too.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: (blinking in confusion, with mouth agape)

Gwen: And that's why me and Courtney aren't ever going to really be best of friends.

* * *

"I'm sorry about my outburst," Heather said, crying a little.

"No, I'm sorry," Courtney said, still sobbing, lying on the ground. "That was wrong. I--I don't know what came over me."

"You weren't expecting it, the feeling of betrayal," Leshawna said, looking guilty, "some people just deal with these things better than other people do."

"She really doesn't do well with unplanned events," Bridgette said. "She lives her life on a tight schedule, and when something knocks it off track, well…." Bridgette sighed.

"I don't want to do this," Courtney said, still sobbing.

"It'll be OK," Bridgette said, smiling. "You'll get to see Duncan."

"That ogre," Courtney said, then chuckled a bit, smiling slightly. "That will be nice, actually."

Lindsay wiped her eye. "Aww, group hug!"

"I'd really rather more ordered one-at-a-time hugs," Courtney said, though she was ignored as the other four all hugged her together.

Katie sniffled from the sidelines. "That's like so sweet! I mean, I know I voted for Courtney and all, but still, it just gets me right here." Katie lightly pounded her chest. "Still better than me going."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Looking back, I almost wish I had stayed back there just so I could actually get Courtney onto the boat. Seriously, I know I tend to rush things more than I really have to, but come on! All that "feelings" talk puts most of our viewers to sleep!

* * *

Courtney was on the Boat of Losers. "Goodbye! When I become a successful lawyer, I'll be sure to give you guys a great discount when you need me!"

"Thanks?" Bridgette asked, a bit confused, but she continued waving from the dock, along with Lindsay, Leshawna, and Heather. The others were watching from a little further back, still a bit sad.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I know I'm not always the brightest bulb in the crayon, but I do know that four is more than five, so someone had to betray Courtney tonight. We were all supposed to vote for Candy, but I'm really not sure who turned against Courtney. (Lindsay taps her chin.)

* * *

The boat was nearing the dock of the Playa' des Losers. Courtney looked over excitedly, but scowled when she didn't see anyone waiting for her there. When the boat arrived, she stepped onto the dock, angry, looking around for a few moments, and then was soon pulled into the lake.

"What the hell was that?!" Courtney yelled after coming up to the surface of the lake, angry.

Duncan popped his head from beneath the surface. "Just a big, bad shark waiting for its prey."

Courtney rolled her eyes. "You ruined my good clothes."

Duncan smirked. "You can wash them."

"Ugh!" Courtney turned to face away from Duncan. "I don't know what anyone sees in you!"

"I don't know what they see in you, either," Duncan said, cocking an eyebrow. "I saw that hissy fit earlier."

Courtney turned red. "Well, that was… well, someone wronged me."

"Relax, babe," Duncan said. "We'll find out who turned on you, and then we can wail on 'em. It was probably Leshawna, anyway. She kinda' has this thing with turning on people. And turning Sir Dorkus on."

Courtney chuckled for a moment before putting her serious face back on. "Leshawna made a mistake. She's got a number of good qualities."

"OK, well if she didn't do it, who did?"

Courtney tapped her chin. "I… don't know?"

"We'll figure it out," Duncan said, grinning. "With your brains, and my special skills, we'll get whoever did it to you." Duncan looked around. "So…."

"Yes!" Courtney yelled, and leapt onto Duncan, as they started making out then and there, coming up for air occasionally.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I feel a little bad for Courtney, but at the same time, I know what's going on now. (Katie imitates Duncan's voice, badly.) I'm Duncan, and Courtney's super sexy! (Katie imitates Courtney's voice, also badly.) I'm Courtney, and Duncan's super sexy, but I don't really want to admit it, but since I lost, I need some sort of consolation so kiss me sexy! (Katie makes two fists and starts touching them at the thumbs.) Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

* * *

"It's not fair," Lindsay said, sitting on the floor of their, crying, with her eye makeup running. "Why Courtney?"

Bridgette was sitting on the floor next to Lindsay, comforting her. "I'm not really sure, but I don't think anyone really meant anything by it."

"We had to vote someone off," Katie said, looking a little guilty. "Courtney's nice, at least this year, but we're running out of people to vote off, and Courtney was a little, well… strong."

"Isn't strong good?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Well, for winning, I guess," Katie said, nervous. "But the rest of us want to win, too."

"But why would you betray Courtney like that?" Lindsay asked, a bit angry.

"I didn't betray her," Katie said. "We weren't that close. I mean, she's a lot nicer than I used to think she was, but we're not even close to BFFFLs." Katie put her finger to her chin. "Actually, I guess only Sadie really is, but Bridgette's relatively close. And Noah's just plain yummy!"

Leshawna shook her head. "I don't get that one at all."

"You'll see Courtney again," Heather said, smiling. "Either when you're voted off, or when she's celebrating your victory!"

"My victory," Lindsay said, dreamy. "I can actually win! Just promise you won't sell me out this year like you did last year."

"Won't happen," Heather said, raising one hand, and putting the other over her heart. "Cross my heart."

"Hope to die!" Lindsay badly sang. "May lightning strike me if I'm telling a lie!" The others looked both shocked and in pain.

"Just promise to warn us the next time you're going to sing," Heather said, chuckling.

There was a knock at the door. "Who could that be?" Lindsay asked, thinking. "Is it Tyler? Tyler is that you?!"

"No, it's Chris!" Chris yelled from the other side of the door. "Are you all naked?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "We're decent. Come in, as if we had a choice."

"You do have a choice, at least this time," Chris yelled from the other side of the door. "I just needed to see Gwen!"

Gwen sighed, then walked to the door and exited, and followed Chris. "Wanted to throw more crap at me?" Gwen asked, angry.

"No," Chris said, looking uncomfortable. "I wanted to say… well, actually… the truth is--"

"You'd better not be hitting on me," Gwen said, irritated.

"What, no!" Chris shouted. "Why would I want to hit on you with Lindsay and Heather around? Or even better yet, Candice! I know you'd never give out."

"That's disgusting," Gwen said, angry.

Chris slapped his face. "I'm sorry, that came out wrong, but no, I wasn't trying to hit on you. I just wanted to say… well…." Chris was nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Do I really have to wait here?" Gwen asked, rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Chris said, looking down.

Gwen stood there, confused, for several seconds. "You're sorry?"

"Yes!" Chris shouted. "You know, for destroying your stupid painting."

"It wasn't stupid!" Gwen yelled.

"I'm bad at this, OK?!" Chris yelled back. "Look, I've been having this weird feeling that wouldn't go away after I destroyed that painting."

"Guilt?" Gwen asked, a little less angry.

"I guess," Chris said, a bit confused. "That what it's called? I went too far with the painting, though. For how mean it was for me to do that, it really should've had a better payoff."

"So you're only apologizing due to lack of viewer approval," Gwen said. "Typical."

"I feel bad, OK?" Chris said, exhausted. "Look, I don't usually feel this--guilt you called it?"

"Yes."

"I don't usually feel that, but I feel it now, and I hate it! And I don't know how else to get rid of it!"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "So you're not apologizing because you mean it, but just to make you feel better about destroying my soul."

"Both!" Chris yelled. "Can't it be both?"

"Probably not," Gwen said.

Chris sighed. "Look, I felt bad enough that I actually brought Trent back here for tonight."

"Trent's back in the game?" Gwen asked, hopeful.

"For tonight only," Chris said. "Look, it wouldn't really be fair to bring him back into the game at this point."

"Since when have you made decisions based on fairness," Gwen asked.

"Since this 'guilt' thing," Chris said. "Look, I set out a nice table, some nice music, and actual good food, cooked myself, for you and Trent to enjoy."

"You cook?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I bought from an expensive restaurant," Chris said. "I didn't want Chef ruining this meal, and trust me, you really don't want me to cook for you."

"I can believe that," Gwen said, smiling a bit.

Chris led Gwen to a cozy outdoor table, where Trent was waiting by candlelight. "I'll leave you two alone. And I mean it. Well, except for the cameras. They're still there."

"That's good enough," Gwen said, smiling.

Chris started walking away, and over to a bush where Izzy and Ezekiel were hiding. "You did good, for once," Izzy said, giving Chris a thumbs up.

"That feels so wrong, though," Chris said. "Being… nice." Chris shuddered upon mention of that word.

"But it feels good to not feel guilty, eh?" Ezekiel asked, smiling.

"Yeah," Chris said. "That feeling's gone, but now I just feel icky. She thought I was coming on to her!"

"Like you don't have a thing for teenage girls," Izzy said, sticking her tongue out. "We all know you want me!" Izzy started shaking her body to Chris.

"You would be my third choice if you weren't a bit too freaky for me," Chris said, smirking. "Thank you, though."

"You're welcome," Izzy said, grinning. "Couldn't pass up a chance to help you do something legitimately nice for someone!"

"And so ends another episode," Chris said. "Courtney has been voted off the island, and I have a clear conscience! Or clear enough, at least."

"And I, Detective Kaleidoscope, shall find out who betrayed Courtney, and hope there was no foul play on your part, Mr. Maclaine."

"There wasn't," Chris said. "You can see the tapes if you want. She was voted off fair and square… ish."

"Ish?" Izzy asked, then narrowed her eyes. "Show me."

"Rather not, really." Chris said. "You'll just yell at me, probably." Chris put on his plastic smile, and started making wild gestures as he finished. "Courtney lost, and there are now only eight contestants remaining. Who will be the next one to fall victim to the island? Find out next time on _Total Drama Gwen!"_

"Wow," Izzy said, blinking in confusion. "I didn't even have to interrupt you that time."

"I'm not doing that again," Chris stated, a bit irritated. "Still don't get why you brought Ezekiel with you here."

"We're making out, eh!" Ezekiel exclaimed, as Izzy brought him back into the bush, and Chris slowly walked away, a bit disturbed by the rustling.

* * *

"I can't believe he got us lobster," Gwen said, smiling as she dug into the lobster. "I don't know. I really wanted to show you guys the painting I was working on, and this doesn't really bring it back."

"He tried," Trent said, shrugging. "He's trying to be nicer now, so I think we should just go with it."

Gwen twisted her fork around her plate. "I guess. I don't want him to think I can just be bought off, though."

"Might just be his way of apologizing," Trent said, taking a bite of food. "I mean, I know Chris has done some really horrible things, but that was just a new low. Maybe it was too low even for him?"

"The same guy who sold the show out for a big fat McPaycheck?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah," Trent said, nervous. "Unless you think there's something more going on."

Gwen smiled. "I don't know. But right now, I probably should just enjoy the night." Gwen looked up at the stars. "It really is a beautiful night."

"Yeah," Trent said, looking up. "I made a wish on the ninth star I saw tonight." Trent looked over at Gwen, who was also looking over at Trent. They both got up, then started sweetly kissing each other under the night sky.

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Cody  
Cody: Courtney  
Courtney: Cody  
Gwen: Courtney  
Heather: Cody  
Katie: Courtney  
Leshawna: Cody  
Lindsay: Candy  
Tyler: Courtney

Courtney: 5  
Cody: 4

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel, Trent, Harold, Courtney

Remaining Contestants: Bridgette, Cody, Gwen, Heather, Katie, Leshawna, Lindsay, Tyler

* * *

That was hard to write. I know some people despise Courtney, but I'm not one of them, and I definitely did not want to vote her off. Sometimes, you can't let personal bias get in the way of the story, though, and that's essentially what happened. I'm sad she was voted off, too. She's had a pretty huge role in the story up to this point, at least, and she's still got a big role in the next chapter. You've all noticed the pattern, right? You all know what's coming up in chapter thirty-nine, I hope!

Anyway, if you want to yell at me for betraying Courtney and voting her off, go right on ahead. If you want to yell at me for taking too long to vote off the worst character ever, I guess you can do that too!


	39. Total Drama Izzy III

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 39: Total Drama Izzy III**

Izzy was standing alone on a completely darkened stage, save for a small spotlight shined on her, in an elegant light green long dress. She looked out into the audience with a serious look on her face. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my deepest regret that we have lost a dear member of the _Total Drama Noun _team just a mere few hours ago." Izzy sniffled, then took out a Kleenex to blow her nose into. "We have lost my dear, beloved Snakey, who showered me with love and kisses last season. So it is with a hard heart that we--"

"**AAUUGGHH!" **DJ was heard screaming, and tripping over something.

"Get off of me!" Noah shouted.

"Snake! Snake!" DJ screamed.

"I think he's no longer lost!" Izzy exclaimed, and rushed into the darkness. "Snakey, my love! Or my second love, anyway, after My Zekey! You'll have to wait backstage, though. You can watch Mommy do her show from over here. You're a good snake, yes you are! Yes you are!"

"It's a snake," Noah stated, sounding irritated.

"Snakes are people, too," Izzy said, smiling, as she walked back into the spotlight. "Well, I guess we should get started, huh folks? That's what you guys out in audience land are here for, right? So let's go!"

The lights lit the small stage brightly. Izzy stepped backward into a small green sofa, sitting to Nicole's right, smiling out into the audience. There was also a large flat screen above the sofa, as well as four cushioned and backed bleacher-style seats on both sides of the sofa in the middle. On the sofa on the right side of the stage, Eva, Noah, Sadie, and DJ were sitting on the top row, while Duncan, Geoff, Beth, and Owen were sitting on the bottom row. And the audience in front of the stage was loud and excited, waiting for the show to start.

"Welcome to another death-defying episode of _Total Drama Izzy!" _Izzy exclaimed, throwing her arms into the air. "Whoo!"

"Death defying?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Death defying," Izzy stated somewhat sinisterly, narrowing her eyes and nodding her head, then perked up. "And today, we have four more contestants who have been voted off the island since last time, and we're going to talk with them, as well as a few other surprises, like this!" Izzy reached into her skirt and drew a live lobster. "This was going to be Chris' lunch today, but I saved him from certain doom. This poor little guy isn't about to become lunch for some miserable excuse for a human being."

Nicole looked at Izzy, a bit frightened. "You kept that thing in your pants?"

"Skirt," Izzy said, shaking her head. "It's a skirt. And yes, I did keep him there. It's nice and warm for him, and it's fun when he pinches me!" Nicole continued looking freaked out, and even more so after Izzy took a bite out of the lobster.

"I thought you wanted to save it," Nicole said, looking suspiciously at Izzy.

"No no no, you misunderstood!" Izzy proclaimed proudly. "I just said I wanted to save him from Chris, and that I did. But hey, a growing girl's gotta' eat."

"But you didn't cook it," Nicole said, then shook her head. "Actually, I have no idea why I'm even asking you as if I expect a reasonable answer."

"Probably the way to go," Izzy said, smiling brightly, as she polished off the lobster. "Anyway, I think that it's now a good time for us to meet our first guest. You may remember him from _Total Drama Island, _but probably not, since he said about three sentences the whole series. He insulted women, tried hitting on Bridgette, and made out with me!" Izzy started smirking. "That's right girls, me! You may all start your jealousy now."

"But doesn't he, like, not like us girls?" Beth asked, confused.

Izzy shrugged. "Well, we'll just need to let him explain his side of it. Come on out Ezekiel!"

Ezekiel casually strolled over to the sofa to Izzy's right, though he was quickly met with loud boos coming from the audience, some of them throwing tomatoes and cabbage and broccoli at him. Izzy looked in shock at first, and quickly looked furious.

"We're just as smart as you!" one extremely tall girl with half a head of pink hair from the audience shouted. "Heck, we're smarter than you, you stupid hick!"

Izzy growled loudly, then leapt into the audience to take the girl on. Izzy threw her into a mangled mess onto the stage, and then Izzy casually walked back to her seat, lightly kicking the girl on her way back. "This one isn't smarter, anyway."

"Wasn't that a little excessive?" Nicole asked, in shock.

"I thought it was pretty cool," Duncan said, shrugging.

"She was defaming my Zekey," Izzy stated, in a serious tone. "We can't just allow people to go around insulting others' boyfriends. That would be chaos! We have to fight for our right to… well, she started it!" Izzy turned her nose up away from the mangled girl, then turned to Ezekiel. "So, Ezekiel." Izzy stood up and walked over to Ezekiel, looking seductive as she sat on Ezekiel's lap, tracing her finger on Ezekiel's face. "Why did you say those things last year, anyway?"

Ezekiel looked down. "Well, my father--"

"Yeah, yeah, 'oh, it's all my Dad's fault, blah blah,' heard it before," Izzy said mockingly, moving her hand like a puppet's mouth. Ezekiel looked down, but Izzy put her finger under Ezekiel's chin to lift it back up. "You told me before, remember? I know why you did it. Just like teasin' ya'!" Ezekiel looked relieved. "You can tell us, still."

"My father told me that girls were weak and dumb, and needed us guys to help them survive out in the world," Ezekiel said, nervous. "He told me that women appreciated being submissive to men, and that women liked that sort of thing."

The audience started to boo, but Izzy took a hand grenade from her skirt, and started tossing it in her hand, glaring at the audience, who then quieted down. "And how much did you get out in the real world?" Izzy asked sincerely.

"Almost never," Ezekiel said. "Sometimes we went out to visit some of my uncles and cousins and grandparents, but I never really knew about these other people, and I didn't know that other people felt any different about things than we all did. It was all just normal to us."

"And you know it isn't, right?" Izzy asked, smirking.

"Yes ma'am!" Ezekiel said, saluting Izzy.

"And you know that I wear the pants in this relationship, right?" Izzy asked, elbowing Ezekiel.

"Actually, I wear the pants," Ezekiel said, leaving the audience gasping. "I mean, that's a nice skirt, but it's not really pants, but these are pants," Ezekiel said, pointing to his own pants.

Izzy tapped her chin. "Good point. But I meant that you're submissive to me! Not because you're a guy, but because everyone's submissive to Izzy because Izzy is the greatest and smartest person in the world."

"No," Noah stated flatly.

Izzy looked over to the eight losers, glaring. "I'm forgetting why I invited you here."

"To make pithy comments like that one I just made," Noah said, irritated.

"Oh yeah, thank you!" Izzy exclaimed, smiling brightly. "I'm a little flighty, so I need those little reminders sometimes."

"More than a little flighty," Nicole said with a knowing smile.

"Pshaw," Izzy said, with a dismissive wave of her hand, and then turned back to Ezekiel, grinning. "Who's hotter: me or Bridge?"

"Bridgette, eh," Ezekiel said, nodding and smiling. Izzy scowled and slapped his face. "Oh, you're feeling… kinky is the word, right?"

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Yes, but that was the wrong answer. You were supposed to say me!"

"But I agree with Homeschool," Geoff said, giving a thumbs up. "Bridgette is hotter than you!"

"I didn't ask you," Izzy said, irritated, then turned back to Ezekiel. "Now, look, Zekey, when your girlfriend asks you to compare her and another girl, and asks you who's prettier, the correct answer is always your girlfriend. Capisce?

"OK," Ezekiel answered, looking down. "I'm sorry I didn't answer that right."

Izzy started gently rubbing him. "Izzy's sorry she got mad. Izzy gets jealous easily, and she forgets that she hasn't taught you all of the important things yet." Ezekiel just sat there smiling. "Anyway, moving on, you have fan mail, my Zekey!"

"You're kidding," Nicole said, confused.

Izzy produced a large bag from behind Ezekiel's seat. "Nope! Look at all of these letters! He's popular!" Nicole had a look of disbelief on her face. The other contestants looked a bit confused as well, as did Ezekiel.

"I thought people were mad at me, eh?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

Izzy stuck out her tongue. "Well, some of them are, but even more look at you as a role model."

"But why?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

"Well, let's find out!" Izzy exclaimed, as she took out a letter from the bag and opened it. "This one's from Irma. Dear Ezekiel. I don't get why you were the first one voted off the show last season. I mean, there were six girls, and five guys, so shouldn't there have been six votes for Courtney? Which guy voted against you? How could they do that to you?" Izzy scratched her head in confusion, then looked straight at Duncan. "I think we know the answer to that one."

"She was hot," Duncan said, shrugging.

"Yeah, I think we all knew which of you guys voted against my Zekey," Izzy said, while pulling out another letter. "This one's from Cobi. Dear Zekey--" Izzy stopped short, scratching her head at what she'd just read. "Someone else calls him this? Anyway, moving on, you are the greatest contestant ever! And I don't understand why they voted you off first." Izzy looked for the envelope, and inspected it. "Some of these are pretty old, apparently. Anyway, you jumped off the cliff, and Courtney didn't, so she should've been voted off instead of you! I just don't understand why they would turn against you just for saying something sexist, when Courtney didn't jump off the cliff and you did." Izzy sighed, throwing the letter into the air. "Cobi, you just don't get it. It's about women having been put under the oppressive man for millennia, and the sort of attitude that keeps it happening even to this day, and it's not something we should have to put up with. A lot of little things add up, and if we want to stop the oppression, we need to put an end to the little things too, not just the big things!"

"I'm sorry," Ezekiel said, crying.

"Ooh, sorry," Izzy said, nervous. "I accidentally earned this episode one of those e/i ratings. Last thing I want is to make this show educational." Izzy looked to the camera. "Seriously, though, it hurts. I love my Zekey, and I understand why they kept Courtney over him."

"Didn't DJ refuse to jump, too?" Nicole asked, confused.

"We have another letter!" Izzy sang as she opened up the next envelope. This one's from Irma too… must be a common name." Izzy shrugged. "Dear Ezekiel, you are the best contestant ever! So smart, and funny, and if you lasted longer, everyone could've seen what a great guy you were! What's so great about Courtney, anyway? Whine whine whine, that's all she does!"

"Seriously, what's everyone's problem with Courtney?" Duncan asked, irritated.

"Beats me," Izzy said, shrugging, then pulled out another letter. "This one's from Cobi again, apparently. Dear my Zekey--oh come on!" Izzy complained. "My Zekey is **my **thing! He's not yours!"

"I think Cobi came up with that first, actually," Nicole said, a bit nervous. "I've seen her and Irma online. They're huge Ezekiel fans."

"Does Ezekiel have any other fans, though?" Izzy asked, a bit irritated.

"Not many, no," Nicole said, shrugging. "Mostly just seemed like a tiny, albeit very vocal group who loves him."

"Ah," Izzy said, then turned back to Ezekiel, still slinked up on his lap. "My Zekey's got some other fans it looks like, but you're still mine." Izzy kissed Ezekiel, then started making out with him, as they fell backward, still making out.

Nicole looked over, confused. "Should… should we be going on?"

"Depends on whether or not you wish to punish the next guest," Noah stated.

Nicole shrugged. "Izzy would. Now our next guest has died from a poison poisson process, a skydiving 'accident,' and for reasons I can't really figure out, thought that carrying a big rock somehow proved he loved Gwen." Nicole rolled her eyes. "Don't get that one at all, but anyway, put your hands together for Trent!"

Trent nervously walked out onto the stage, to thunderous cheers from the audience. Trent nervously waved, and was about to sit, until he noticed Ezekiel and Izzy behind the seat, and winced.

"Oh, Trent, hi!" Izzy exclaimed, popping from behind the seat. "We're through. I mean, not through through, but Izzy is a patient person, and can wait until after the show." Izzy bounced back to her seat, and Trent nervously sat down, with Ezekiel sitting next to him soon after. "Now Trent--may I call you Trent, by the way?"

"Uh, sure," Trent said, confused.

"OK, that's good, because I was going to call you that regardless." Izzy tapped her chin, then went wide-eyed, and slapped her face. "Oh, I'm sorry, Izzy ruined the joke."

"What joke?" Trent asked, contorting his face a bit.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Nicole answered, confused as well.

"Don't worry about it," Izzy said, waving dismissively to no one in particular. "Anywho, let's get to the nitty gritty: you like Gwen, right?"

"That's nitty gritty?" Trent asked, confused. "Well, yeah, I like Gwen a lot."

"And you and Cody have fought a massive war to win Gwen's heart, correct?"

Trent looked nervous. "We didn't really fight any sort of war. Gwen never really felt the same way about Cody as she did me, and I didn't even really notice Cody was trying to win Gwen's heart until he told me he was giving up."

"We just had to be put on different teams," Eva said, a bit dreamy. "Might've gone for me if we were on the same team."

"Didn't you try to bite his head off last season when he was trying to look at your iPod?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't really think that would have scared Cody off," Izzy stated. "And technically, it wasn't an iPod." Izzy turned back to Trent, with her chin resting on her hands, being held together. "Anyway, she and Cody are together again, and you are away from her now. Think there's any chance that she and Cody are gonna' hook up and do naughty things in secluded spaces, or spaces they think are secluded?"

"Cody better not," Trent said, making a fist.

"Gwen better not!" Eva shouted, slamming a fist into the palm of her other hand.

Izzy shook her head. "And you two apparently don't even know who to blame. But we do have some secret footage of Gwen and Cody getting it on!"

"You're kidding!" Trent exclaimed, worried. "How… why? How could Gwen do that to me?!" Eva was comatose from her seat, just staring blankly ahead.

"I was kidding," Izzy said, grinning wide. "Just wanted to see how you two would react."

"I'm going to kill you!" Eva yelled, and leapt out of her seat after Izzy, who was bouncing all around the stage.

"Erm," Nicole started, nervously watching Izzy and Eva running around, "so Trent, you play guitar, right?"

"Well, yeah," Trent answered, rubbing the back of his neck, then stared at Nicole, confused. "I play the guitar."

"Ask about Leshawna!" Izzy exclaimed, leaping from the curtain from one side of the stage to the other, with Eva fuming beneath.

"Right," Nicole said, nodding, then looked over to Trent, who looked nervous. "What do you feel about Leshawna?"

"She's horrible!" Trent shouted, angry. "She's scum! She hurt Gwen, and she needs to be punished for that! Why is she even still on the show? She doesn't deserve to be there! All she does it hurt people!"

"But you did punish her," Nicole said. "The whole hot box thing?"

"Yeah? Well she wasn't punished enough!"

"She could have died in there," Nicole said, looking a bit irritated. "Does she really deserve to die?"

"Well… I don't know!" Trent yelled, unraveling a bit.

"She doesn't," Nicole said, shaking her head. "We both know she doesn't. Why even pretend otherwise?"

Trent looked nervous. "Well--"

Trent was interrupted as Eva screamed, with Izzy just having took a bite out of her arm. "That'll teach you!" Izzy yelled angrily.

"Don't you think you're a little out of control, Izzy?" DJ asked, nervous.

"Or, you know, a lot?" Noah asked, irritated. "Seriously, just leave Eva alone."

"She's the one chasing me!" Izzy shouted, defending herself.

Courtney had stormed out from backstage, quickly walking toward Izzy and Eva.

"You're not really supposed to be out here yet," Nicole said, a bit nervous.

Courtney walked straight up to Eva and Izzy and started talking in a rather ominous tone. "Izzy, leave Eva alone."

"Um, hello, she started it," Izzy said, irritated.

"The joke about having secret footage of Gwen and Cody making out ring a bell?!" Courtney yelled.

"Thanks," Eva said, smiling nervously.

"After everything you've done for Bridgette, it's the least I can do," Courtney stated. "I mean, unless Bridgette was the one who sold me out."

"I already told you that I would tell you after you signed the contract agreeing to do my show," Izzy said.

"I'll do that if you make nice with Eva, and don't pull any Chris-like stunts like that so-called joke again," Courtney said, irritated.

"You guys have no sense of humor," Izzy said, shaking her head, then turned to Eva. "I'll try to remember what makes you angry and not do that anymore, OK?"

"Fine," Eva grumbled, as she went back to her seat, Izzy walked back to hers, and Courtney walked off the left side of the stage.

"Don't go too far!" Izzy called over to Courtney. "You're coming out later one way or another." Almost instantly, Izzy grew a look of fear on her face, then quickly turned to Trent, and continued on without missing a beat. "Really, there's nothing wrong with killing people if you really, truly mean it, but I don't think you really have it in you."

"Uh, what?" Trent asked, confused.

"Are you following up on my question about Trent, and killing Leshawna, and--I don't even remember the exact question anymore," Nicole said, confused.

Izzy grinned at Trent. "Trent, do you really want to kill Leshawna? I can always make it happen. Make it look like an accident."

"Wha, no, of course not!" Trent insisted.

"That's good, 'cause that was another test," Izzy said. "I never got my license to kill renewed, so I can't kill her, at least not legally. And besides, she doesn't deserve it, anyway."

"But she hurt Gwen!" Trent shouted, clenching his fist.

"But she hurt Gwen, blah blah blah," Izzy said mockingly. "Seriously, you're like a broken record! Can you say anything not relating back to Gwen?"

"But I love Gwen!" Trent exclaimed, looking lovingly toward the ceiling.

"There're other things in life too," Izzy said. "Like chaos! Chaos makes the world go 'round, and he's such a pretty blue kitty! And you and your music--you can talk about music! What can you tell us about your guitar?"

"Like, how you play it? What the things on it are called?" Trent asked, confused.

"No, not the boring stuff! The cool stuff, like how you got it, how you got through hard times with it, how you and the guitar became one and how it eats part of your brain every night to slowly help in the acclimation process."

"The… what?" Trent asked, confused even more.

"Tsk, tsk," Izzy went, shaking her head. "You just… look at me!" Izzy exclaimed, lifting her shirt to show off her breasts to Trent. Though Ezekiel saw too, and fainted.

Trent just looked confused, though. "You know, Gwen's breasts are shaped pretty similar to those."

Izzy put her shirt back on, looking a bit irritated. "Look, there are things other than Gwen. Like what other friends do you have here?"

"Well there's Gwen--"

"**Other **than Gwen," Izzy said, rolling her eyes.

Trent thought it over for several seconds. "I used to get along with Leshawna, but--"

"Maybe you should give her another chance," Izzy said sincerely. "Forgive her. You already got your revenge. You can let it go now."

"Would you?" Trent asked, skeptical.

"Yes, I would," Izzy stated. "I mean, I have too many enemies, that if I couldn't let it go after getting revenge on one, then I'd never get anything accomplished, spending my entire life getting revenge, not only every waking second, oh no, but every moment I'm sleeping too! Then I'd have to study how Freddy Krueger gets revenge from within people's dreams, and let me tell you, it's a lot harder to do that than it looks. Believe me."

"You've… you've tormented people in their dreams?" Trent asked, a bit scared.

"Uh, no," Izzy said, rolling her eyes. "I mean, I've tried, but it's way difficult, and most of my enemies don't really deserve that, anyway. Izzy is a kind soul, after all."

"Yes," Trent said, scooting away from Izzy slightly.

"I am!" Izzy proclaimed, pounding her chest. "Didn't I help solve that whole mystery with Gwen's diary? Didn't I help expose Justin for the slime ball he… wait." Izzy looked around the stage, confused. "Where is Justin?"

"I don't know," Owen said, confused as well. "He was here when I came in, but then the lights went off, and I couldn't really see, and he's not here anymore, I guess."

Izzy shrugged. "Don't really care that much, anyway. Anyway, Trent, you're kinda' boring."

"Boring?" Trent asked, confused. "But why?"

"Well, everything's 'Gwen this,' and 'Gwen that,' and 'Leshawna hurt Gwen,' and blah blah," Izzy said, making a puppet out of her hand again. "Really, Izzy thinks you should try talking to Leshawna when she gets voted off. It'll make you feel more gleeful!"

"Don't wanna'," Trent pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Izzy shrugged. "Can't make you, I guess. I mean, I could tie you up and force you to be in the vicinity of Leshawna until you talk to her, but I can't physically make you talk, and even that much would be too time consuming on my part." Izzy took a bag of mail from behind the couch she and Nicole were sitting on. "And now, fan letters!" Izzy removed a letter from the bag. "This one's from Grace. Dear Trent, you are awesome. You're so cool, and nice, and if you had a little sister, I'm sure she would worship the ground you walk on."

"Thanks, Grace," Trent said, smiling.

"But Gwen stinks like poo poo," Izzy read, looking a bit weirded out. "Gwen is mean, and ugly, and stinky, and Trent could do so much better, so she should dump that stupid Gwen and do better for himself. Sincerely, Grace."

Trent was sitting there nervous, twiddling his fingers. "Um, that's… nice?"

"Not really," Izzy answered. "She sounds a little psychotic, if you ask me. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I wouldn't call it nice." Izzy took out a lighter and burned the letter, then took out another. "This one's from Ginger. Dear Trent, you're the greatest guy in the history of forever, and you're so hot! Dump Gwen and go out with the!"

"What's wrong with Gwen?" Trent asked, confused.

"Let's try this one," Izzy said, a bit nervous as she pulled out another letter from the bag and opened it. "This one's from Mary Ann: dear Trent, I hate Gwen, because she's mean to Courtney and, oh come on!" Izzy yelled. "This was written before this season even started! When was Gwen ever mean to Courtney last year?"

"When she tried to psych her out with the green jelly jump?" Duncan said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, but still," Izzy said, shrugging and eating the letter. "Fourth time's the charm, maybe? This one's from Kelsey."

"Isn't that the girl who thought you had twin younger brothers?" Nicole asked, suspicious.

Izzy read the letter to herself, then looked nervous. "First, just because I ignore my younger brothers doesn't mean they don't exist. And second, this is a different Kelsey. This one's a little… well, mad."

"So are you," Nicole said, shrugging.

"This girl makes me look sane," Izzy said, sounding as serious as possible. "I thought I burned all of her letters."

"Who's Kelsey?" Trent asked, concerned.

"Some obsessed fan who's been stalking you for the past year, and has a Trent doll and has Trent décor all over her house," Izzy said, worried. "Trust me, you do not want to meet her."

"How do you know so much about her?" Trent asked, concerned.

"Because I've seen her stalking you personally. And unlike me, she was stalking you for evil purposes."

"Why were you stalking me?!" Trent said, worried.

"That's not important!" Izzy shouted. "What's important is that we never, ever see this Kelsey girl!"

"But I just want to love him!" Kelsey shouted from the audience, sounding insane, and holding a knife. "And I'll kill anyone who keeps me from my true soul mate!"

"Excuse me, please," Izzy calmly stated, then leapt into the audience at Kelsey. After struggling for a few seconds, she wound up tossing her mangled body onto the stage, beside the other girl. "We need better security for this show, apparently. Still, if I can collect two more of these things, I can start my own girl group. I mean, I know I already had one with the Spice Girls. They kicked me out before we got popular, and replaced me with Posh. Like anyone even remembers her anymore."

"Actually, I think Posh is more like the only one most people remember," Sadie said. "I mean, I remember all of them, and I actually liked Sporty the best, but--"

"Ginger," Noah stated. "Ginger was clearly a cut above the others."

Sadie scoffed. "But it's her fault they broke up, and--wait." Sadie grinned at Noah. "You liked the Spice Girls, didn't you?"

"No I didn't!" Noah shouted.

"It's OK," Sadie said, smiling. "If Chris teases you about being gay because of it, I'll beat him up for you."

"I don't really need someone else to beat him up for me," Noah said, a bit irritated, then softened. "But thanks."

"No problem," Sadie said, practically beaming.

"Are the rest of us supposed to have any idea what those two weirdos are talking about?" Duncan asked, pointing up toward Noah and Sadie.

"No," Nicole answered flatly.

"Trent, it's been nice talking to you, but my heart must go on," Izzy stated, punching her chest, wincing a bit. "That actually hurts, you know. Anyway, Trent and Ezekiel, you two need to move up to the top row, so we can make room for our next guest on the bottom. You may know him from _Total Drama Island, _and later on, _Total Drama Chris. _He won the dodge ball game for the Bass--"

"Courtney and I did all the work," Duncan said, irritated.

Izzy blinked, then continued on. "He also won the talent show for the bass--"

"Courtney could've won it if she had her violin, which a certain someone broke," Duncan said, a bit angry.

Izzy continued on, not really hiding her irritation. "He was also extensively picked on by Duncan, and **is even currently **being picked on by Duncan, give it up for Harold!"

Harold entered the stage, and took a seat on the interviewee seat, near Izzy. The audience reaction was very mixed. "It's nice to be invited on this show, Izzy."

"It's nice of you not to give me the same difficulties Courtney has with this show," Izzy answered. "I mean, she's really not so bad, but she's just so irritating sometimes!"

"I'm not really a big fan," Harold stated.

"Anyway, Henry--may I call you Henry, by the way?" Izzy asked, grinning.

"Please don't," Harold said, irritated. "It's bad enough when Lindsay does it."

"Just teasin', ya' know, but anyway, my first real question: why don't you like Courtney?" Izzy asked, with a notepad and pencil in her hands.

"She tied me up in a lamppost!" Harold said, irritated.

"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm… tell me more," Izzy said, writing stuff down.

"Isn't that enough?" Harold asked.

"Well, didn't you start that by cheating to get her voted off?" Izzy asked. "I tend to remember you rigging the votes to get her kicked off."

"It wasn't personal," Harold said. "Not against her, anyway. I did it to get back at him!" Harold pointed right at Duncan, who snarled at Harold.

"Duncan, I'm warning you now, don't ruin my show," Izzy stated.

"Then tell that dweeb to quit bein' such a dweeb," Duncan said, angry.

Nicole rolled her eyes, and Izzy glared at Duncan for a moment, before turning back to Harold. "I'm sure no one can blame you for wanting to get revenge on Duncan--"

"Harold sucks!" an audience member shouted. "D and C forever!"

"Courtney sucks!" another audience member yelled at the first. "Harold should've killed her instead of just having her voted off." Harold look a little freaked out.

"I'll kill you!" Courtney screamed from backstage.

"Yeah, let's not continue the murder talk," Izzy said, a bit uncomfortable. "After me, Courtney is probably the single person who would be able to kill you and get away with it. But hey, it's your life, so if you want to risk it, be my guest." Izzy turned back to Harold. "Anyway, while I know you wanted revenge on Duncan, was it really fair to get Courtney involved in your fight?"

"She was mean too," Harold said, angry. "She thought I was worthless, and stupid, no matter how many times I won it for our team, she treated me like garbage. She may not have physically tormented me until after I rigged the votes, but words hurt, too."

"Aww, you poor thing," Izzy said, patting Harold's knee, then hugging him.

"You're buying that crap?!" Courtney yelled from backstage.

"You'll get your chance if you sign the contract!" Izzy yelled, then continued comforting Harold. "Zekey, please tell me we can have a threesome!"

"What's a threesome?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

Izzy shrugged. "Never mind. Maybe when you're older." Izzy returned to her seat. "So, I guess even though Duncan was worse than Courtney, that Courtney was still bad, and this, effectively, killed two birds with one stone."

"Exactly," Harold said, smiling.

"You could've just voted me off," Duncan said, angry. "What? Too scared to go after the big guy on top? Had to take out Courtney instead? Really fair. Coward."

"You wouldn't have cared if I voted you off," Harold said, angry again. "You didn't care about winning, or staying in the game. All you cared was that Courtney was there! What good would voting you off have done?"

Duncan thought about it for several seconds, then shrugged. "Can't really argue with that."

"Of course **you **couldn't," Noah stated, smirking, then immediately hid behind Eva before Duncan turned around, punching the spot where Noah was sitting.

"Little slow there," Eva said, chuckling a bit. Duncan looked a bit nervous, then turned back around, grumbling.

"Anyway, I can understand why you don't like Courtney," Izzy said, but then turned more serious, "but we have a problem. One that I don't really understand so well." Izzy put her hands in her shirt, and pushed her shirt outward to create an 'illusion' of extra-large breasts. "Lindsay."

Harold shrugged. "Not everyone likes everyone else. Duncan doesn't like me. Leshawna doesn't like Noah."

"She's wrong!" Sadie shouted, looking angry, and squeezing Noah's neck in an embrace. "Noah's awesome!"

"My point was that not everyone likes everyone else," Harold stated. "So what if I don't really like Lindsay much? I stopped bothering her."

Izzy shrugged. "I tried. So, I want to know about you and Leshawna."

"You're giving up that easy?!" Courtney yelled from off stage once again. "I want answers!"

"Sign the contract!" Izzy yelled, then turned back to Harold. "Anyway, you and Leshawna. I want answers."

Harold shrugged. "She dumped me. I don't know why she did, but I can't say I'm surprised. Most people don't appreciate what I have to offer. I'm actually not considered a cool kid, believe it or not."

"You make **me **look cool by comparison," Noah stated.

Duncan shrugged. "What can I say? The egghead's right for once."

"Heather accepted me, though," Harold said. "I could tell that she wasn't the same person she was last year. She needed a friend, and really, so did I. And I didn't really mind that she happened to be really hot, too." Harold tapped his chin. "She's either the second or third prettiest girl here. I'm not sure whether I'd rank Gwen above or below her."

"Above," Trent said. "Definitely above."

"Heather wasn't taken, though, so why not her?" Harold asked. "Would you have really been happier had I seduced Gwen? I could have, you know."

"Sure, you could've," Trent said, twirling his finger around his head on the opposite side from Harold.

"Heather was lonely, as was I. Though I was lonely by choice, she seemed like she could use someone, so I willingly allowed Heather to befriend me. And since she really seemed to have the hots for me, I really didn't feel it was in either of our best interests to decline her offers of getting together, so for her sake, we decided to become a couple."

Geoff sniffled, wiping a tear from his eye. "That's like so totally awesome!"

"And, like, so totally false," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

Duncan shrugged. "Egghead might actually be smarter than I give him credit for."

"It's true!" Harold said, annoyed.

"Sure," Nicole said, chuckling to herself a bit. "Of course it's true. Don't listen to those mean, **mean **people."

"No one's buying it," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Just admit it already. You don't like being alone."

Harold sighed. "I've learned to accept it. I'm simply not someone who people like, and I've come to accept it as fact. It's really hit me ever since Autumn turned the entire school against me."

"That's nice, mail time!" Izzy exclaimed, climbing the curtain behind her, then climbing back down with a mail bag, and taking her seat once more, pulling out a letter. "This one's from Napoleon. Dear Harold: stop copying me." Izzy scratched her head.

"He copied me!" Harold shouted, irritated. "Don't believe anything that guy says!"

"OK," Izzy said, confused, as she took out another letter. "This one's from Jenny. Dear Harold, I hate you! How could you rig the votes to have Courtney kicked off the show?! You suck! I hate you! I hope you die!" Izzy shook in horror after reading the letter, then took out her lighter and burned it. "Stop wanting to kill people!"

"Yeah," Duncan said. "It's kind of hard to pick on a dead person."

"Moving on," Izzy said, taking out another letter to read. "Here's one from Dirk. Harold, you're the lamest person ever! Are you for real? You're the biggest dweeb anywhere, and I can't believe they'd let someone like you on TV! You should kill yourself, you worthless… you know, I really should read these to myself before reading them aloud."

"He's got issues," Duncan said. "I mean, I don't like the guy much, but wailing on him's a great stress reliever, trust me."

"Let's try another," Izzy said, reaching into her skirt to pull out another letter. "This one's from Autumn. Dear Harold. First, I want to thank Izzy for helping me write this letter, since I have trouble writing."

Harold's eyes grew wide. "This is the same Autumn who's made my life a living hell, isn't it?!" Harold yelled, then went up to grab the letter away, though Izzy grabbed it right back. "And that's your handwriting!"

Izzy sighed. "Jig's up. Autumn, come on out!"

"Autumn's here?!" Harold yelled, angry. "You brought Autumn here?! I don't have to put up with this! I'm leaving!"

Izzy grabbed Harold's hands, and tied them behind his back. "You're staying here. You need this."

A tall blonde with naturally light blonde hair and larger breasts than Lindsay, wearing a tight tank top and miniskirt, walked out onto the stage, looking upset.

"OK, she might just be hotter than Bridgette," Geoff said, looking longingly at Autumn. Sadie smacked him out of his trance.

"Thank you for mailing me here, Isis," Autumn said, looking down.

"You're welcome," Izzy said, smirking, sitting Harold over on the interviewee seat. "Anything to help resolve this stupid thing."

"Why do you hate me?!" Harold yelled at Autumn. "What did I ever do to you?!"

"Why do you hate me?!" Autumn yelled back to Harold, who seemed in shock. "What did I ever do to you?!"

"You lied to get out of your date with me, then you lied to the school about it to get everyone to torment me to ridiculous new heights!" Harold yelled, angry.

"I didn't mean to lie!" Autumn yelled back. "I didn't know it was a lie! I like how it's all about you you you, though! Not everything's about you!"

"What are you talking about?!" Harold yelled.

"That was a cruel joke, except it wasn't a joke!" Autumn yelled, crying. "What happened to me that night shouldn't happen to anyone! Yes, you had it bad, but so did I! But did you care? No! You just assumed I was out to ruin your life, but I wasn't, and I wasn't, and the one time I tried to talk to you, you just kept whining that I ruined your life and wouldn't let me talk! How many times was I supposed to try to tell you my side of the story?!" Harold just looked, unsure of what to say. "Iris helped me with that monorail," Autumn said. "I've been practicing, but I didn't want to ouchie you. I thinked you were nice that night. I don't any more think you are nice more, still…. Irene, can you help me? I'm not bad at the talking of stuff."

"Yes," Izzy said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Her friends didn't like you, and used the opportunity to get revenge on you for dating out of your league. She had nothing to do with it, and wanted to stop it. She had a little trouble with it, obviously."

"I'm sorry," Autumn said, crying a lot.

"I'm sorry, too," Harold said, disappointed. "For the first time in my life, I was wrong. I would hug you, except my hands a little tied right now."

Autumn leant over to hug Harold, crying still. "Thank you," she whispered, then gave Harold a kiss on the cheek. "I help Henrietta doesn't think me bad too much."

"I think she'll forgive this one," Izzy said, smiling. "She's nice now!"

"She nice last year too, yes," Autumn said, smiling. "So misunderstanding."

"Really?" Izzy asked, confused. "You thought Heather was nice last year?"

"She was mean and mean, but she pained on her inside places," Autumn said. "She needed heap."

Izzy smiled as she walked over to untie Harold's hands. "You've got some great insight there, Autumn. Oh, have you met Courtney backstage?"

"Courtney also with the pain inside," Autumn said, looking down. "Such a wondrous leading lady and respect she earns, or should. Why don't people look like her?"

"I hate the mental gymnastics I need to go through to understand what she's saying, but I'm even having trouble disliking this girl," Noah said, smiling slightly.

"She's hot too," Nicole said, smiling brightly. "That doesn't hurt."

"I do hot, don't I?" Autumn asked, showing off her body. "I love beautiful being!"

"Can you and Harold move over now, though?" Izzy asked. "We still have one more guest for the show, **if she signed the contract!" **Izzy yelled out to over where Courtney was standing backstage. "Good, she gave me the thumbs up, so we're ready with this. Still don't see why she had to be so difficult about it. No one else was."

"No one else cared about reading the stupid things," Duncan said, shrugging.

Izzy smiled for the camera. "Our next guest criticized Harold incessantly, has a weak sauce fear of green jelly, threw oatmeal-like stuff at Gwen, had her violin broken, got a new violin, played Santa Claus, stood up to Eva, tried suing the producers of _Total Drama Island, _wrapped Harold in a lamppost, started the chain of events leading to Heather's eventual forgiveness by the others, and pretty much was responsible for every single thing that ever happened while she was on the screen, give it up for Courtney!"

"Yes, it is I, your beloved CIT, here to grace you with my presence," Courtney announced as she made her way to the seat where Harold was sitting a few moments ago. "It's very nice to be here, Izzy." Courtney narrowed her eyes nervously. "You **will **give me the name of the person to betray me, correct?"

"And you promise not to throw a hissy fit, right?" Izzy asked, smirking back.

"Yes, yes," Courtney said, waving her hand dismissively. "No hissy fits, but I do feel that it's only appropriate that I correct a highly inaccurate statement Harold had made earlier."

"Which one?" Izzy asked reluctantly.

"When Harold said that I didn't like him and was verbally abusive to him, he is not inaccurate. But I wasn't the only one. **No one **liked him! He didn't even try to get along with anyone else. DJ got along with everyone, last year at least, and DJ didn't even like Harold! Harold went out of his way to intentionally offend our senses, not just mine, but everyone else's as well! Exactly three people on our team last year did not actively dislike Harold, and most of those on the other team didn't like him either! Leshawna didn't even like him until she found out he sent her the love notes, at which point she admittedly felt guilty about that, but Duncan and I were hardly the only ones who disliked his presence!"

"All I wanted was for Harold to keep his grody underwear off the floor and I'd have been happy," DJ said, a bit irritated.

"Aww, you poor thing," Sadie said, looking a bit sad, then hugging DJ, who smiled back.

"Didn't feel like everyone else hated me so much," Harold said, irritated.

"She's nice like, though," Autumn said. "I like Candy."

"What kind of candy would you like?" Izzy asked, pulling out various candies from her skirt. "We've got Skittles, Starbursts, Bonkers, and some chocolate candies too, but they're all a bit melty."

"I meant that Candy," Autumn said, pointing to Courtney. "The nice lady I'm sitting next here by."

"Funny you should mention her name being Candy," Izzy said uncomfortably, nervously chuckling a bit. "Anyway, we want to ask the tough questions on this show, so Courtney, tell us the truth: do you like Duncan?"

"Yes," Courtney stated. "I know he's a crude, lewd, rude brooding dude, but he's also a pretty nice guy when he wants to be."

"That's not me," Duncan said, shrugging.

"Methinks Courtney's not the only one who's in denial," Izzy said, smirking at Duncan.

"I admitted I liked him!" Courtney shouted.

"Oh wait, you did," Izzy said, confused. "I'm sorry, but I really wasn't expecting you to admit it. Threw me off guard there." Courtney rolled her eyes. "Let's get to another question, though. What's--"

"Are there two people tied in knots on the floor?" Courtney asked, worried. "What happened, and how did it take me this long to notice?!"

"They deserved it," Izzy said, shrugging. "Anyway, what's the deal between you and Lindsay?"

"I don't know entirely," Courtney said, a bit confused. "What I do know is that she didn't like Heather, and saw me as a friendlier alpha female, and also realizing I had some, well, faults, and hoping to diminish those, and hoping that I would be willing to tolerate someone such as herself tagging along with me, and probably hoping to learn something from me, as well as hoping for me to learn something from her. I think we had a legitimate give-and-take friendship, and I tried to be nice, even when sometimes she would say something that was hard for me not to make fun of, when it felt like something completely idiotic--I mean,, not that she said things like--urgh!" Courtney slapped her face in frustration. "I'm still not very good at this."

"She knows you're trying," Izzy said, smiling. "I don't think you've entirely figured Lindsay out, though."

"There's more to it?" Courtney asked, confused.

"We'll need to ask her, I guess," Izzy said, a bit sing-songy. "Anyway, you and Bridgette were pretty close last year, right?"

"Well, yes. I think so," Courtney said, unsure. "I know I got mad at her a few times, but I always made up afterward! I have a little bit of a temper."

"You're admitting it at least," Izzy said, smiling brightly. "Anyway, do you think Bridgette's at all a little jealous of you and Lindsay?"

"Yes," Courtney stated, looking down.

"Actually she--wait, what?" Izzy asked, blinking in confusion. "You noticed?"

"Is it really that surprising?" Courtney asked, a bit irritated. "I'm hardly that inobservant. I realized after I gave Lindsay the little figurine of--"

"Wait a minute," DJ said, worried. "I thought Santa Claus gave her that!" DJ's lip was quivering.

"It's OK," Sadie said, hugging DJ. "It's just… well, Santa doesn't really come in July."

"Sadie, that's not how it works. Actually--" Noah said, but was interrupted when he was elbowed by Sadie, who was winking at Noah, a little irritated. "Actually, Sadie's right. Lindsay just didn't know Santa doesn't come in July."

"Trust me a little more," Sadie said to Noah.

"That's also why I was spending so much time in my alone space," Courtney said. "I realized Bridgette was a little hurt about the figurine, so I was making one for her, but I got interrupted, and I'm hoping you can teach me how to sneak back onto the island so I can continue working on that."

"Izzy would be happy to!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming. "Izzy knows this place like she knows the inside of her Zekey's mouth!"

"TMI! TMI! TMI!" Courtney yelled, feeling disgusted.

"Oops," Izzy said, giggling nervously. "Sorry about that. Anyway, back to the matter at hand, or a new matter, I guess… well, we'll wait on that. Mail time first!" Izzy walked over to Courtney, and reached into Courtney's hair to pull out a bag full of mail.

"OK, how was that possible?" Courtney asked, completely confused.

"That's for me to know, and you to… well actually, it's not something for you to find out, but it's still something for me to know," Izzy rambled, then returned to her seat and took a letter from the bag. "Here's a letter from Alexis. Dear Courtney: die."

"Die?" Courtney asked. "She wants me to die, why?!"

"I don't know," Izzy said, rolling the letter around a lit stick of dynamite, then tossing it down to the two girls mangled on the floor, though Courtney quickly leapt over and snuffed the fuse out.

"What happened to not killing people?" Courtney asked. "I don't even get why you didn't like the first one you got in the fight with. Are you even alive?"

"Barely," she let out.

"Do you need anything?" Courtney asked, concerned.

"Medical attention, please?" the pink-haired girl asked, in pain.

"Right," Courtney said, whipping out a cell phone. "Chris, pick up, I know you're there!" Courtney slammed her cell shut. "Urgh, I hate him!"

"We all do," Izzy said. "Hard to believe you're the same girl who so many think is irredeemably evil, though, caring about those girls, and all."

"Well, yeah," Courtney said, a bit uncomfortable. "I'm more surprised everyone else didn't even really notice them there."

"We kinda' forgot, actually," Nicole said, looking embarrassed.

"Anyway, next question!" Izzy exclaimed, taking another envelope from the bag, and opening it. "This one's from Chloe. Dear Courtney, you are awesome! I love when you and Duncan do things together, because Duncan's so awesome, and it's so nice when you and Duncan are together, since I get to see Duncan in action, so thank you for being there! Duncan just wouldn't be the same without you!"

"Um, was that letter actually intended for me, or for Duncan?" Courtney asked, confused. "I mean, at least it wasn't mean, but does this person only like me for my relationship with Duncan?"

Izzy shrugged. "Dunno'." Izzy pulled out another letter and started to read it. "This one's from Kim. Dear Courtney, you suck! It was so awesome when Harold rightfully got you kicked off the island! I was laughing so hard! My only complaint was that Harold didn't do that sooner, since you were so mean and whined too much. And really, you should've got voted off first, since you didn't even jump, and Ezekiel did! I don't understand why anyone would've voted for Ezekiel, since he jumped."

"OK, seriously, why wouldn't they want to get rid of the person they hate?" Courtney asked. "Does jumping off the cliff somehow excuse his behavior?"

"Not really," Ezekiel said, embarrassed.

"And what about DJ?" Courtney asked, angry. "DJ didn't jump either, yet you don't say he should've been kicked off first. Oh, no, it's just me! Why? What have I done to you?!"

"The viewers get surprisingly attached to us," Izzy said, shrugging. "Anyway, doing some research, I've found out some things about you, Courtney. Some things I'm surprised didn't get out. And a reason for your recent attitude toward Leshawna."

"I'd rather not talk about that," Courtney said, scared. "It behooves me for others not to know about what that is."

"Please?" Izzy asked. "It would be good for you, and Leshawna, and everyone else, too."

"No," Courtney said, irritated.

Izzy shrugged. "I tried. And I'll try again. But now, believe it or not, we have a surprise guest for you today, Courtney."

"Is it Bridget?" Courtney asked, grinning.

"She isn't allowed here until she's voted off," Izzy stated.

"You know that's not the Bridget I meant," Courtney said, smirking.

Izzy sighed. "Fine, you're right. Come on out Bridget!"

Courtney was beaming as she stood up and looked from the left side of the stage, as a tall, thin black girl with long black hair rushed out, wearing a tight blue shirt and tight jeans. The two hugged and even squeed for a moment, though Courtney quickly looked embarrassed, and hung her head in shame. "I'm sorry for letting that slip," Courtney said.

Sadie sniffled, and wiped a tear from her eye. "She's one of us now."

"Not 'us,'" Noah clarified.

"Courtney, I really think you should tell them your secret," Bridget said, smiling. "I'd appreciate it too."

Courtney resisted for a moment, then sighed. "If you really want, I guess, for you. Legally, I'm--."

"Legally?" Bridget asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm half black," Courtney said, then turned reddish. "It's not something I'm really proud of--"

"You should be, though," Bridget said, smiling. "You shouldn't have to be ashamed of it."

"I shouldn't have to be, but that's not how our society works," Courtney said, angry. "Despite the progress being made, and despite our more popular southern neighbor electing Obama as President, that's hardly made everything equal. And it definitely benefits me if the first impression someone gets of me is that of a white girl."

"She's felt bad about Leshawna, who couldn't hide it even if she tried," Bridget said.

"I've done a bit of research, seeing what things were like for her, and the results scared me," Courtney said, nervous. "She's had it rough. I mean, I still didn't like her attitude toward Heather, or her trying to frame Heather for spreading Gwen's diary around, but really, she felt bad and did her best to make up for it. What more could we really ask for?"

"You've got a good heart," Bridget said, hugging Courtney, who smiled back.

"I do worry about what the repercussions from admitting this are, though," Courtney said, worried. "Does Duncan still like me?"

"Duh," Duncan said, rolling his eyes. "You're still hot and annoying."

"Thank you," Courtney said sarcastically. "It does feel like a weight has been lifted, but I still worry about those repercussions."

"Izzy'll help!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming. "Izzy's good to her friends!" Izzy passed a note to Courtney. "Just call me, beep me, if you need to reach me."

Bridget chuckled for a moment. "Do you even know how many people have called this girl Kim Possible?"

"That was random," Courtney said, smirking toward Bridget. "Who mentioned Kim Possible, and why do people call me that, even? No one ever explained to me what that meant."

"I look more like her," Izzy said, standing proudly.

"Courtney's more like her, though, with her supposedly being perfect and all," Eva said, then looked a bit embarrassed. "I mean, I've heard that from other people, anyway."

"Anyway, secret's out, could you please tell us who betrayed me so we can end this show and Bridget and I can catch up since I left to come here last month?" Courtney asked, smiling.

"But we have another guest," Izzy said, smiling brightly. "You all remember that girl who disguised herself as Heather and ran around the camp creating chaos, and tried to kill Bridgette and Lindsay?"

"Hard to forget," Courtney said, irritated. "I mean, she only tried to murder my best friends for no good reason. Jewel was her name right? I--oh no." Courtney shook her head in the palm of her hand. "**Please **don't tell me the next guest is who I think it is. **Please **don't tell me."

"You catch on fast," Izzy said, smirking. "Please welcome Jewel!"

A fairly short, short dyed black-haired pale girl walked onto the stage, wearing a horizontally-striped black and white shirt, leather jacket, and tight jeans. "Hi," Jewel said. "Izzy here said I should come here. Don't know why, since you don't like me."

"You stole the position I so rightly deserved!" Courtney yelled, angry.

"I didn't do it to annoy you," Jewel said, irritated. "Mr. Ferris thought we needed a change--"

"Please don't mention his name," Courtney said, making a vomiting motion.

Jewel rolled her eyes. "Well, he-who-shall-not-be-named thought we needed a new president, and he picked me. Don't know why, but he did, so I ran. And I won."

"You didn't even care about winning!" Courtney yelled, furious.

"Courtney, seriously, relax," Bridget said, putting her hand on Courtney's shoulder. Courtney reluctantly held her anger in. "Just listen."

"I did care about winning, actually," Jewel said. "You kind of irritated everyone."

"I did not," Courtney said, looking down.

"Maybe didn't mean to, but you did," Jewel said, shrugging. "I don't really have that strong an opinion of you. Don't really like you, but just don't care enough to dislike you, either. You're just kind of annoying, always yelling at me, always angry, always thinking I don't have any clue what I'm doing."

"You kept the soft drinks in the cafeteria," Courtney said, nervous. "That's really not healthy."

"If they want the soft drinks, they can drink them," Jewel said. "If they want something healthier, they can drink that, too. I see you drinking the soft drinks too."

"I have self-control, though," Courtney said. "I can limit my intake on such things, to ensure I don't exceed my recommended calorie intake. Not everyone else does."

"So what?" Jewel asked. "If they don't care, why should you?"

Courtney started to cry. "I need this. I need to show the world that--"

"That you can become a successful rich old white man," Jewel said. "Look, I'm not opposed to having assistance. You just refused the offer."

"I deserved to be president, though," Courtney said, crying.

"I was willing to meet you halfway," Jewel said.

Courtney sighed. "Is the offer still good?"

"Maybe you'll win next year," Jewel said, shrugging. "People here seem to like you."

"Thank you," Courtney said. "But someone here still betrayed me, and--"

"Promise you're not going to kill her," Bridget said, a bit nervous.

"I won't kill her," Courtney said. "I will be very disappointed in her though. So who did it, Izzy?"

Izzy looked nervous, rubbing her arm. "Technically it was Lindsay, but--"

"**Lindsay?!**" Courtney screamed, shooting straight up, in shock, clenching her fists.

"She's dead," Duncan said, pounding his fist into his other palm.

"No killing!" Izzy yelled, looking around nervously. "And Courtney--"

"How could she?!" Courtney screamed, stomping around for a bit. "I trusted her! I fully and completely trusted her, and now look what she did to me! Betrayed me like everyone betrays me!"

"Well, it was an accident," Izzy said, twiddling her fingers.

"An accident," Courtney stated skeptically. "Do tell."

"Well, we have video," Izzy said, as she took a remote out from her skirt.

"How much stuff do you keep in there?" Courtney asked, disgusted.

"Don't ask," Izzy said, as she pushed a button on the remote, and video on the TV screen began.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: All of Courtney's friends agreed to vote for the same person, and band together! It's so awesome, being in an alliance where the leader actually cares about us, instead of not caring about what happens to any of us, and wanting to get rid of us… what was the name, though? Something with a C… Candy, I think? (Lindsay taps her chin.) I think that was the name. I vote for Candy.

* * *

Courtney's eye twitched as the video finished. "**Chris is dead!**" Courtney screamed. "That vote was **clearly **for Cody!"

"It's kind of hard for me to get too upset," Beth said, nervous. "I'm sorry. I know that was mean for me to say."

"It would've been a more honorable loss, at least," Eva said, smiling nervously.

Izzy shrugged. "If you really have to kill someone, it might as well be Chris."

"I almost forgot!" Courtney exclaimed, as she went over to the two mangled up bodies on the ground. "Can someone help me get these to the infirmary? Izzy, can you get the boat?"

"Aye aye!" Izzy exclaimed, saluting Courtney. "I'll get right on that, but first, I want to thank you all for tuning in for another exciting edition of _Total Drama Izzy. _Rest assured, we will be back right before the final two to catch up with another six losers, and find out the answers to more exciting questions!"

The stage dimmed a bit, and Harold, Autumn, Trent, Eva, Noah, Sadie, DJ, Duncan, Geoff, and Beth left the stage. Courtney was still with Bridget and Jewel, while Izzy, Nicole, and Owen were still seated, and Ezekiel was walking up to Izzy.

"So, do we get to make up now?" Ezekiel asked, hopeful.

"Make out," Izzy corrected. "And not now. Courtney's feeling very merciful toward those losers."

"She's really not all bad," Jewel said, as she, Bridget, Courtney, and Nicole all helped to carry the two girls, while Izzy hurried out to get the boat. Soon enough, the room was completely empty, except for Owen, who was still sitting there.

"So, I guess it's over now, huh?" Owen asked, looking around. "I'll find myself something to eat." Owen got up from his seat, and walked out the room, leaving behind a very crushed Justin, who had been squashed beneath Owen the whole time.

"Help me," Justin cried out.


	40. Day 19, Part 1: Izzy in Charge

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 40: Day 19: Part 1: Izzy in Charge**

Izzy was standing on the Dock of Shame, grinning wide, standing next to Ezekiel, smiling, though looking a bit confused. Izzy started bouncing around as she started speaking. "Last time on _Total Drama No One Cares, _the contestants had to create and perform their own _Sesame Street _skits, with the help of the other losing campers in various Muppet roles." Izzy crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "And no one picked me! But then again, a Martian was a waste of my talents. I should have been Sherlock Hemlock, world's greatest detective!"

"Do I really forget things a lot?" Ezekiel asked, confused, looking up.

Izzy tapped her chin. "Actually, he was a pretty lousy detective, so maybe that was for the best. Rosita maybe? I can speak Spanish and a whole gaggle of other languages. Just too bad that Frank doesn't know a lick of it."

"Who's Frank?" Ezekiel asked, still confused.

"Oh, some guy I used to date," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "It's not important. Anyway, Leshawna as Lefty the crooked salesman won the challenge--it's a role that fits her well, considering the whole drama with her lately."

"I don't think it was entirely fair!" Courtney shouted, from the other end of the dock.

Izzy blinked. "Didn't you have something you told me you needed to do?"

Courtney sighed, then started walking toward the forest. "Yes, yes, I'll work on that."

"And leave Lindsay alone!" Izzy called out, then turned back to the camera. "She promised she'd leave Lindsay alone, but I just don't know. As you already know, Courtney was voted off last time, and she's a little bit ticked about it."

"I think she's more than a little bit ticked," Ezekiel said, nodding.

"Facetious, honey," Izzy said, smirking. "Lindsay voted for Candy, and despite that she obviously meant for that to count for Cody, Chris counted it as a vote for Courtney. Because he's a bad man."

"Why did you bring Courtney here, anyway?" Ezekiel asked, scratching under his tuque.

"She was working on something that she didn't get a chance to finish," Izzy said, smiling, "and being the nice person that I am, I'm allowing her to work on that. Today, though, I'm in charge! Seems Chris has been subpoenaed to testify in the case against Jewel--the Heather one, not the Courtney one--and he had to leave in a hurry, so the producers, not sure what else to do, left the show to me!"

"Why didn't they put Chef in charge, eh?" Ezekiel asked, confused as ever.

"Because Izzy has more marketability!" Izzy exclaimed. "Grumpy old chef, or the friendly neighborhood Spiderman-powered girl!" Izzy smiled. "He still gets to help Izzy, of course."

"I doon't think he'll like being your assistant, eh?" Ezekiel asked, worried.

"I'll make him, because I have a special challenge for my friends here today," Izzy said, smiling brightly. "Unfortunately, one of my friends is going to have to leave." Izzy shrugged. "Or maybe we'll get lucky and it'll be Leshawna. But that's not Izzy's decision. Izzy isn't going to cheat to get Leshawna voted off, even though she so totally could. Though it would be funny if Katie wound up being voted off the day Chris couldn't be here, since I'm sure Chris would miss rubbing that in her face." Izzy tapped her chin. "You know, I never did really get why Chris has so much hatred for her, in particular."

"Beats me," Ezekiel said, shrugging. "I used that phrase right?"

"Yes you did," Izzy said, nodding. "But who will be voted off tonight? Find out in… well, it's probably not going to be the most shocking elimination ever. I mean, there was the time Courtney was voted off last year, and the time Courtney was voted off this year, and the time **I **was voted off this year--not that I'm angry with Leshawna, I mean, I have my own show and all now--but if she should happen to lose tonight, it won't bother me."

"I pick Heather," Ezekiel said earnestly.

"Wrong answer," Izzy said, a bit irritated. "Of course, you didn't really get to spend much time with her, but just trust me, that's the wrong answer. The right answer is Leshawna, but it's not necessarily the answer we're going to get. So who will be going home tonight? Who will be safe? Find out right now, on _Total Drama Island 2!"_

"_Total Drama Island 2?" _Ezekiel asked, confused.

Izzy shrugged. "That's probably what the show should've just been called in the first place."

* * *

"You didn't do it, did you?" Lindsay asked Heather, as they were putting on makeup together in the washroom. "You're nice and stuff now, right?"

"I didn't," Heather stated, applying makeup to her eyelashes carefully. "I liked Courtney too, and I don't really know who betrayed her. If I had to guess, I'd pick Leshawna, just because she's Leshawna."

"Leshawna seemed to like Courtney, though," Lindsay said, looking down.

"Leshawna also liked Gwen," Heather said, then sighed. "I don't want to believe it either. Leshawna and I are actually getting along somewhat, and surprisingly, she does have a heart buried in all of that fat. But we both know she can't be completely trusted, right?"

"What about Bridgette?" Lindsay asked, looking like she was concentrating hard.

"She's one of the nicest people who ever lived," Heather said, then sighed. "I question whether it's even possible for her to have a bad thought in her body."

"She never liked Harold," Lindsay said. "She made fun of Tyler, and she betrayed Greta at the end of last year, and she--"

"OK, OK, so she isn't perfect after all, I guess," Heather said, a bit annoyed. "Still, she's nicer than most of us, and she was like Courtney's only real friend last year." Heather started chuckling a bit. "Not counting Duncan, anyway. Still not sure if they could technically have been called friends."

"That was confusing," Lindsay said, massaging her temples. "You're probably right, though. I like Leshawna, but I can't think of who else would have voted for Courtney… unless Greta betrayed her!"

"Gwen didn't exactly betray Courtney," Heather said, nervous. "They learned to get along, but they weren't especially close. And I've suspected before that she might have a thing for Cody."

"Candy? But doesn't Greta already have Twit?" Lindsay asked. Heather chuckled a bit, trying to hide it. "Did I say something wrong again?"

"Twit is kind of, well, insulting," Heather said, smirking. "You meant Trent there."

"Oh," Lindsay said, embarrassed. "When I see Gabrielle, I'm going to have to apologize for that."

"Apologize for--" Heather started, but quickly stopped herself. "Never mind, look. Try asking Leshawna if she voted off Courtney, and promise that you won't get mad, no matter how she answers."

"I don't think I'd be able to not get mad, though," Lindsay said, defeated as she was applying lipstick.

"Lie," Heather said, shrugging.

"But that isn't nice," Lindsay said, letting it sink in, and after a few seconds, she gasped. "I thought you were nice, but you told me to lie!"

"It's lying for the greater good," Heather said, smiling. "It would be good to discover who voted off Courtney, right?"

Lindsay was rubbing the back of her neck. "I guess so."

"Really, it's OK if you're doing it for a good reason, and you are," Heather said, grinning.

"I… guess?" Lindsay said, confused.

"Trust me."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: I know it looks bad, suggesting that Lindsay lie, but I'm only telling her that for her own good. I'd almost be Lindsay's more worried about it than Courtney herself is.  
Gwen: (raising an eyebrow) How little do you know Courtney again?  
Heather: (sighing) I feel bad accusing Leshawna of it, though. I mean, I just don't know who else even might've done that.  
Gwen: It's good that you're feeling guilty this year, but in Leshawna's case, it's really not necessary.

* * *

"Leshawna!" Lindsay exclaimed, running up to Leshawna, who was headed for the wash house as Lindsay exited. "I mean, Leshawna," Lindsay stated much more calmly as she reached Leshawna.

Leshawna raised an eyebrow. "You OK, sugar?"

"Not really," Lindsay said, nervous. "Someone betrayed Courtney and voted her off, even though she's been so nice to us!"

Leshawna looked up. "I thought about that, and I really don't know for sure, and I really don't wanna' accuse her without any evidence, but I'd bet Heather did it."

"I promise I won't get mad if you did it," Lindsay said, smiling innocently.

"I didn't vote Courtney off," Leshawna said, putting her hands on her hips. "That white-ish girl was one of my only friends here. I mean, it's my fault and all, but I wouldn't wanna' get rid of her."

Lindsay looked guilty. "I mean, I will get mad if you did it! Or I won't… maybe. I don't know!" Lindsay yelled, then sunk her head into Leshawna's chest, crying.

Leshawna pat Lindsay's back. "Seriously, look at Heather. Don't wanna' stir anything without any proof, but that's where I'd start lookin' for answers."

"But she said she didn't do it," Lindsay said.

"Heather's pretty good at lyin', girl," Leshawna said, smiling. "Look, I'm not be plantin' no evidence this time, I give you my word on that. And I know I be tryin' to trust her more, but it's still suspicious to me."

"Ooh," Lindsay said, pretending she understood completely, then looked down. "I like Heather, though. She's so nice now."

"Well someone voted for Courtney," Leshawna said. "Someone pretendin' to be good with her voted for her."

"OK, thanks!" Lindsay said sweetly, waving as she took off for elsewhere.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (rubbing her temples) My God, this is so confusing! Heather says Leshawna did it, Leshawna says Heather did it… wait. Why am I believing Leshawna's word, anyway? But she seems so nice… I don't know! Urgh!

Leshawna: I actually feel kinda' bad that I even suggested that Heather mighta' done it, but really, I don't know who else **could **have! What was I supposed to say?

* * *

"You're doing… well…" Bridgette was saying from the Dock of Shame, a bit uncomfortable, sitting next to Katie, right as Lindsay fell off of Bridgette's surfboard again. "Well, you're giving it your best effort, and that's what's important!"

"Thanks," Lindsay said sarcastically after returning to the water surface. "I'm bad at this."

"Well, not everyone can be good at everything," Bridgette said, with a warm smile. "And seriously, you're trying! That counts for something."

"And you look really pretty on the surfboard!" Katie exclaimed, smiling brightly. "And you look really pretty in the water, too, which is like really good, since you've been in the water so much!"

"You're right!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming. "I **do **look really good! That's something I'm good at! And I'm better at it then everyone else here!" Lindsay was smiling, but quickly looked up at Bridgette and Katie, and her face fell. "I mean, you're pretty, too."

"You're really confident about how pretty you are!" Katie exclaimed. "I mean, that's kinda' conceited-like, but it's also so awesome, since so many girls are so self-conscious, and always feel they're not pretty enough, so it's really really great that you don't have that problem!"

"Uh, yeah," Bridgette said, a bit uncomfortable.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I don't really have a body image problem. I'm not starving myself or even trying to cover up behind cosmetics. I've just accepted that I'm plain-looking, and I'm fine with that. (Bridgette looks down.) Though it still hurts when Chris calls Lindsay the prettier version of me.

* * *

"Bridgette, I need to ask you something, and please tell me the truth," Lindsay said, serious. "Did you vote for Courtney?"

"She didn't," Katie said. "I tried to talk Bridgette into it, but--"

"Wait, what?" Lindsay asked, a bit angry. "You tried to talk Bridgette into voting off Courtney?"

"Well, yeah," Katie said, oblivious. Bridgette was looking nervous. "You all had Courtney leading you and Bridgette and Heather and Leshawna to victory, and we needed to stop it so that the rest of us might have a chance to win!"

"I didn't vote for Courtney, though," Bridgette said. "I promise."

Lindsay smiled. "I guess it was a silly thought. Even after breaking her violin, she was only mad for a little bit."

"And she didn't even sue me over it," Bridgette said, chuckling a bit. "I heard she tried to sue the show for it, though, but then she lost that suit, and was nice enough not to go after me."

"I'm sure that would've have just made your friendship even stronger," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"Do you know who might've voted for Courtney?" Lindsay asked.

Bridgette thought about it for a few seconds. "I really don't know. I know I didn't do it, and to be honest, there's no way you did it."

"I didn't," Lindsay stated. "Thank you for believing in me!"

"Well, it wouldn't be bothering you so much if you voted her off," Bridgette said, smiling. "I mean, unless it was some elaborate ruse on your part, but… err… never mind."

"I know, I'm not really able to come up with something so hard," Lindsay said, smirking. "I know you weren't trying to insult me. You can say it."

"Well, yeah," Bridgette said, a bit nervous. "It is a bit complicated for you to come up with."

"I know," Lindsay said, smiling. "I wish it weren't. I mean, not that I'd want to… do… that stuff, but I'd like to be smart enough that I could if I were a meaner person."

"I understood your point," Bridgette said, smirking. "It had to be Heather or Leshawna, though. I know they've made their share of mistakes, and this is probably just another one. Try not to get mad if you figure out who it was, though. Who knows. Maybe they had a good reason."

"You really think she had a good reason?" Lindsay asked, doubtful.

"Well, no," Bridgette said, nervous. "Still, we should find out first, regardless."

Lindsay nodded. "Thank you."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I'm not exactly thrilled that Courtney was voted off, but Lindsay's taking it so personally. I really hope she doesn't get too upset when she does find out who did it. I just worry that finding the answer isn't going to be good for her.

Izzy: Oh, if you only knew, Bridgette. If you only knew.

* * *

"Hey, Greta!" Lindsay exclaimed, rushing up to Gwen, who was drawing a picture under a tree, though she'd messed up right as Lindsay called for her. "Greta, did you vote for Courtney?"

"Um, yeah," Gwen said, raising an eyebrow.

Lindsay gasped. "How could you?!"

"I wasn't in your group," Gwen said. "You guys already knew I voted for her."

"Oh yeah," Lindsay said, a bit embarrassed. "I'm sorry. And I'm also sorry for calling Twit a tent."

"Um, what?" Gwen asked, confused.

"I mean--" Lindsay stopped herself, and put her finger to her chin, looking thoughtful. "There was something I wanted to apology-ize for, but I can't remember what it was."

"It'll be fine," Gwen said, a bit irritated. "Don't you have someone else to bug?"

Lindsay stood there, thinking for a few seconds. "I don't know."

"Um, Tyler might like--"

"Tyler!" Lindsay exclaimed, holding her hands together, then started rushing off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Why did it take me that long to think of that?  
Heather: We can't all be evil masterminds. I think I'm rubbing off on you.  
Gwen: That was hardly evil.  
Heather: A little sneaky, at least. It's not the worst thing in the world.  
Gwen: I'm still waiting to see if any part of me has rubbed off on you.  
Heather As long as it's not the hair dye, I'll be fine. (Gwen glares at Heather.)

* * *

"Tyler!" Lindsay exclaimed, finding him eating in the mess hall, eating something blue and squishy. Lindsay squeezed him, unintentionally choking him. "I get to bug you now!" Tyler continued gasping for air. "You're speechless! I know how excited you are to see me this morning." Lindsay let go and started tapping her chin, allowing Tyler to breathe. "Why did I want to see you again?"

"I couldn't breathe," Tyler said, breathing in deeply.

"No, that wasn't it," Lindsay said, still looking thoughtful, until I hit her. "Oh my God, are you--wait a minute, you are breathing!" Lindsay exclaimed, hugging Tyler more gently. "I thought you were trying to tell me that you couldn't breathe, and I was too stupid to realize it, but you're breathing just fine!"

"You're not stupid, Lindsay," Tyler said, smiling.

"I'm smart enough to realize how stupid I am," Lindsay said, smirking. "Not quite dumb enough to fall for that one."

"But you're not stupid," Tyler said. "You just have a different way of seeing things."

"Isn't that a nice way of saying that I'm stupid?" Lindsay asked, looking down.

"No," Tyler said. "You do have some great insights sometimes, getting things that no one else notices."

"Thank you," Lindsay said, sniffling a bit, hugging Tyler again, gently. "Do you know whether Bridgette, Heather, or Leshawna voted for Courtney?"

"That's really bothering you, isn't it?" Tyler asked. Lindsay nodded. "I'm sorry I voted for her, but those of us not in Courtney's inner circle were in danger."

"Courtney didn't have a circle," Lindsay said, waving dismissively to Tyler. "She's not a element school teacher, you know."

"I meant Courtney had her close friends, and she was going to vote those who weren't her closest friends off. That included me."

Lindsay blew a raspberry at Tyler. "I wouldn't have let her vote you off. Courtney knows I wouldn't have let her vote you off."

"Thanks," Tyler said, looking down. "I guess it's a little late, though."

Lindsay looked worried. "But one of her close friends did vote her off, though. Someone betrayed her, and I need to stand up for Courtney!"

"I'm pretty sure she can stand up for herself," Tyler said, chuckling a bit. "She'll probably kill whoever did it when she finds out who did it.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: She'd better not! She promised she wouldn't!

* * *

Courtney was sitting in a meditative position in her secluded area on the island, chanting to herself. "I will not kill Lindsay. Lindsay is my friend. I will not kill Lindsay. Lindsay is my friend.

* * *

"Hi campers!" Izzy sang as she entered the cafeteria, with the other eight campers looking confused, and Ezekiel following her. "I hope you all enjoyed breakfast this morning!"

"It was surprisingly decent," Bridgette said, smiling. "Lot better than usual."

"Don't rub it in!" Chef barked. "I don't want to be reminded!"

"O… K…" Bridgette said cautiously, looking creeped out.

"Oh, don't worry about him," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively toward Chef. "He's a big ol' softie. Especially when I force him to cook a decent meal for you guys."

"You forced him to?" Heather asked, sounding interested. "Do tell."

"Well, I will be your host for today's challenge, since Chris isn't here," Izzy said, smiling brightly.

"I wanted to be host!" Chef yelled.

"Sorry, but the producers chose me," Izzy said. "More charismatic, or something like that. Besides, I'd make an incredible host! Once, I even had a dream where I was the host, except with different campers, like Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, the Joker…" Izzy trailed off, thinking of what she'd just said. "Oh, silly me, that was my Batman dream! I get them mixed up sometimes."

"Batman's cool, though," Tyler said, smiling. "He's such an awesome superhero, he doesn't even need actual superpowers. Just the power of money."

Cody shrugged. "I like Black Canary more."

"You would," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"I like yellow canaries more," Lindsay said, smiling sweetly. "Tweety's so cute! I could just eat him up!"

"Apparently Lindsay thinks she's become Sylvester," Izzy said, grinning. "Well, you'll have a chance to consume other living beings, because you guys are going to be colorful ghosts and Pac-Men. Or Ms. Pac-Men, for some of you."

"I'm not very good at Ms. Pac-Man," Lindsay said, looking down. "I sometimes can't even get to the pink maze with the pretty blue dots."

"I'm pretty sure that's the first level, actually," Tyler said, looking sympathetic. "I don't think the dots were blue, though."

Lindsay looked down, tearing up slightly. "I didn't even remember the right colors."

"It's OK," Tyler said, hugging Lindsay. "It's a tough game. I haven't got past the first level, either."

"But I did get past the first level," Lindsay said.

Bridgette shrugged. "I've never even played it before."

"I have," Cody said. "It's a pretty old game. Also a bit repetitive. Graphics are noticeably dated. I'm not really the biggest fan."

"Of course not," Izzy said. "That's pretty no duh. The biggest fan was at the reserves, we had this giant fan to cool off the base in the summertime. Once, this guy was dusting the fan, because the man wanted him too, but someone turned the fan on when he was inside, and--" Izzy shuddered. "I don't even like thinking about that one."

"Did he die?" Ezekiel asked, worried.

"Oh, no, course not!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming. "He was chopped in half, though, but we got him stable, and he's good as new now, except his two halves are still not connected. And he's a great volunteer for the sawing someone in half magic trick, to boot!"

"That's so not true," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"If you met him, you would change your tune pretty quickly," Izzy said, narrowing her eyes. "But for now, Pac-Man! Chris had this really lame system for picking out who was playing which ghosts, based on personality, but I didn't really like it. I mean, it's not like you'd have to make decisions based on your ghost, and it's not like you realistically could. So I went by clothing!" Izzy left the room for a second, and returned with a red skirt and red cowboy boots. "Tyler and Lindsay, since you two are so red, you get to be the red ghost, Blinky. Commander and the leader!"

"Yay!" Lindsay exclaimed. "I get to be the smart ghost!"

"There was a smart one?" Tyler asked, confused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (shaking her head) Tyler, Tyler, Tyler… of course there was a smart ghost! The red one was smart, the pink one was a little tricky, the blue one was random, and the orange one was kind of stupid. I'm glad Izzy didn't go with my skirt color.

Izzy: Chris wanted Lindsay to be Clyde, for the record. I didn't really like that.

* * *

"Katie, you like Pink, so you're Pinky," Izzy said, beaming, holding out a pink top for Katie, as well as a pink shirt and pink pair of jeans. "Cody… you don't really have a color, and the other pink slot was left over, so I'm sorry, but you're stuck with Pinky, too."

"It'll be OK, Cody," Katie said, smiling reassuringly. "I bet you'll look pretty."

"I don't really want to look pretty," Cody said, nervous.

"Bridgette and Gwen," Izzy said, holding out a dark blue corset top and dark blue boots, "you two get to be the blue ghost, Inky. Bridgette, you don't even really need a change in attire!"

"I can do that," Bridgette said, smiling.

Cody looked nervous. "Couldn't I have been the blue ghost instead?"

Izzy shrugged. "Sorry, but Bridgette's already as blue as can be, and I think Gwen would've killed me if I made her the pink ghost," Izzy said sympathetically. "Also, Gwen has blue hair, so it fits her better."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: (in a pink shirt and pants, sighing)

Gwen: (laughing, with a dreamy look on her face) If only Cody were wearing that when we first met, I might've just fallen head over heels in love.  
Heather: (laughing as well) I know, like, so handsome!  
Gwen: Not handsome. Pretty.  
Heather: Just makes me want him sooo bad!  
Gwen: Cody's mine! You can have Trent.  
Heather: We're so bad.  
Gwen: No, no! I mean, come on, a guy in pink, **such **a turn on!

* * *

"Heather and Leshawna, guess you two are the orange ghost, Clyde," Izzy said, taking out orange versions of Heather's and Leshawna's clothing, then started tapping her chin. "Or Sue. It doesn't really matter."

"I remind you of orange?" Heather asked, confused.

"Well, Lindsay and Tyler are redder than you," Izzy said. "Had to stick you with something."

"And yet you didn't think to make Cody the orange monster," Heather said, raising an eyebrow.

Izzy turned red. "Err, I'm sorry, Cody?" Izzy walked over to Cody and started messing up his hair. "Cody's sweet. He'll forgive poor Izzy." Izzy kissed Cody's cheek. "Feel better?"

"I doon't really," Ezekiel said, looking down.

"Aww, that was just to make Cody feel a little better," Izzy said, walking up to Ezekiel and giving him a light punch in the arm. "Guys like when hot girls kiss 'em, even if there's nothing going on between them." Izzy started wrapping herself around Ezekiel, making a puppy dog face. "Don't tell me my Zekey's jealous."

"It's OK," Ezekiel said, sweating a bit. "It's hard to stay mad when you get all touchy and feely."

"That's my Zekey!" Izzy exclaimed, then started kissing Ezekiel passionately.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy and Ezekiel: (making out)

Lindsay and Tyler: (making out)

Gwen: (throwing Cody out) Get out!  
Heather: What, did he think we were making out in here, or what?  
Gwen: Probably. Though I wouldn't mind making out with him, all pretty in pink. (Gwen giggles.)  
Heather: (laughing as well) What can I say? He **is** irresistible!

* * *

"Thank you for locking me in this cage!" Izzy exclaimed from a large pet carrier, as she, Ezekiel, and the eight campers were riding on the plane. "I'd probably cause the plane to crash and we'd all crash and burn and die if I weren't stuck in here, but watch out, because I'm an escape artist, so you do need to keep a close eye on me, since even though crashing and burning sounds like fun to me, I'm guessing you guys aren't big fans of that."

"Can't say we are," Gwen said.

"Aren't I so considerate, though?" Izzy asked, grinning wide.

"I don't really like seeing you locked in there, eh," Ezekiel said, looking down.

"Oh, don't worry," Izzy said. "I've been locked up smaller boxes than this one, and for longer. Gets pretty wild, let me tell you!

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: They always make the same mistake when they lock me up, though: they always forget to keep a close eye on me, since I tend to escape. And I like escaping, but I didn't want to succeed this time, since I was worried I'd do something to make the plane crash, and I didn't really want to do it to these guys, since I like them, and surprisingly, not a single one was keen on the idea of having the plane crash. It's too bad… Izzy would have loved to do one of those miracle Hudson River-type landings, too. Izzy bets she could've done it!

* * *

"The Maclaine Arena," Izzy said, looking at the sign in front of the arena. "I really need to take that sign down. Though I'm not really sure what I should name it. 'The Really Super Mega Deluxe Awesome Best Stadium Ever That Isn't Named After That Lame Host Anymore And Should Have Never Been Named After That Stupid Host in the First Place Since He Has Got Way Too Big of an Ego and It So Desperately Needs to Be Deflated for His Own Good Stadium'? What do you guys thinks?"

"Might be a **little **bit long," Gwen said, smirking.

"You can always call it by its acronym," Izzy said.

"You're kidding," Gwen said. "Seriously, the acronym for that has to be even harder to remember!"

"Nah, it's just the RSMDABSETINATSHAASHNBNATLH ITFPSHHGWTBOAEAISDNTBDFHOG Stadium," Izzy said, smiling. "Easy to remember!"

Gwen looked a bit disturbed. "Yeah…."

"Originally, it was going to be 'stupid host' instead of 'lame host,' but then I noticed it made a naughty acronym," Izzy said, smiling.

"I doubt anyone would've noticed it," Gwen stated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Has Gwen never seen _The Simpsons? _Comic Book Guy is based on a real person I know. Someone I'd rather not know, really, but they live for that sort of thing!

* * *

"That looks pretty nice," Lindsay said, smiling. "All high-tech and stuff, and the mazes look right down there! I love how colorful they are, too!"

"Chris wanted them to look decently faithful," Izzy stated. "The black ground with the large white dots on it are actually special tiles. The person who is Pac-Man or Ms. Pac-Man is going to wear special magnetic shoes. Step on a title, and the light on it turns off. Turn off all of the dots and you beat the maze. That's your first goal, but it should not be your only goal, since in the event of a tie, it comes down to points. Ten points for each dot, and fifty for the blinking dots."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Yeah, I started sounding like a video game instruction manual for a while there. All pretty boring stuff that I'm sure you home viewers don't really care to see, so I'll save you that pain and edit that part out. Promise!

* * *

Izzy brought out a yellow version of Katie's outfit, as well as a red bow. "Katie, you'll be up first. You'll be doing the pink maze. You understand what you have to do, right?"

"Yes," Katie replied, nodding. "I can do this!"

"Glad to hear it!" Izzy exclaimed. "This is gonna' be fun, people!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I was never very good at Pac-Man. I mean, how can anyone avoid all four of the ghosts? It's hard. Real life Pac-Man is hard, too, as it turns out.

* * *

Katie was in the pink maze, clad in yellow, with a red bow in her hair, while the maze had all the tile dots lit. Lindsay, in a red skirt and red boots, was standing outside a pen in the middle of the maze. Cody, wearing a pink shirt and pink jeans, was inside the pen, looking unhappy. Gwen was wearing dark blue, also in the pen, along with Heather, wearing an orange top and orange shorts.

"Ready?" Izzy asked via megaphone, along with the other three contestants in the stands, and Izzy started caressing the megaphone, looking lovingly at it. "I know you're a fan of these things, Katie, so I'll let you play with it after you're finished down there!"

"Thanks," Katie said, smiling. "It was also fun to bug Chris, though. Won't be as fun without Chris here."

Izzy shrugged. "Can't do much about that. But if you're ready… ready… go!"

Katie nodded, then went straight ahead, and took a left, where she saw a flashing dot on a tile, which Katie stepped onto.

"You can eat the ghosts now!" Izzy exclaimed. "You have six seconds, so hurry up!"

Katie ran around, turning off more dot tiles, hurrying to find the ghost players, but couldn't find them before her time ran out. Right when time ran out, Gwen and Heather stepped out from behind a corner, ganging up on Katie, and nabbing her. "Are the ghosts in the game really that smart?" Katie asked, confused.

"Not usually, but this isn't exactly the same," Izzy said through her megaphone. "You have two more lives. Ghosts, back inside your pen… well, except Lindsay, anyway. Lindsay, you wait right outside the pen."

"Why doesn't Lindsay start in the pen, anyway?" Bridgette asked, confused, sitting next to Lindsay."

"I don't know!" Izzy exclaimed through her megaphone, right into Bridgette's ear, who was in a state of shock. "Oops… forgot I had this thing. Sorry about that."

"What?" Bridgette asked, holding her ears. "Did you say something?"

Izzy looked nervous, then knelt down to Bridgette's level. "Bridgette, please tell me you're OK. You're making me worried."

Bridgette started laughing. "Kidding!"

Izzy smiled brightly. "OK, I was really worried there for a moment, but I love that one! Izzy can appreciate that kind of humor!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Someone else might've wanted to kill me for that one, but I thought I knew Izzy well enough that she'd have actually found it funny.

Ezekiel: I was really wooried about Bridgette… I didn't get why it was funny, eh.

* * *

"Ready, Katie?" Izzy shouted from the stands, down to Katie, in her starting position. "Go!"

Katie was looking around, trying to find more lit dot tiles, but was having trouble finding them, and getting confused as she walked around the maze, and was quickly caught by Lindsay from behind.

"Yay me!" Lindsay exclaimed. "I got Katie! I got Katie!"

"How am I supposed to find my way around, anyway?" Katie asked. "It's like so confusing."

Lindsay thought about it for a few seconds. "I don't know, really. Just feel like I know my way around. It's almost like I've seen this maze before."

"It's the first maze in Ms. Pac-Man," Izzy announced, rolling her eyes. "That's where you've seen it before."

"Oh yeah," Lindsay said. "Tyler said it was hard getting to the pretty pink maze, though."

"This… kinda' is the pink maze," Katie said, looking a bit guilty saying it.

"Oh," Lindsay said, looking down. "I don't know why I keep getting confused about it."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I certainly can't call Lindsay stupid for not knowing which maze is which… I barely even knew Pac-Man had a maze! Is it common knowledge?

* * *

Katie had just been tagged a third time, by Lindsay again, looking proud of herself, while Izzy came over dressed as a giant pear.

Izzy cleared her throat before speaking. "Katie, you got--"

"Why are you dressed like a giant pear?" Katie asked, confused.

"Bonus fruit," Izzy said. "I thought I explained I was doing that."

Katie contorted her face. "Well, yeah, but I just thought you'd wear your usual green outfit and call it a pear. Not a full body suit."

"Well, I saw it and figured why not," Izzy said, smiling. "I mean, how many opportunities does one have to wear a giant pear suit? Anyway, you scored eight hundred thirty points."

"Yeah!" Katie exclaimed, clapping to herself.

"That's not really a good score," Izzy said, shaking her head. "It's pretty bad, actually. You could have gotten eighteen thousand four hundred."

"Oh," Katie said, shrinking back. "Guess that is pretty bad."

Izzy shrugged. "Who knows. Might hold up!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Yeah, I was pretty sure Katie was not winning this one.  
Ezekiel: I didn't really get the point of what they're doing.  
Izzy: They needed to try to eat all of the dots in the maze.  
Ezekiel: (scratching his tuque) I didn't see anyone eat any of the dots. They kept disappearing when they got close.  
Izzy: That actually was… you know, you and Bridgette may just be made for each other after all.

* * *

"All right, Cody!" Izzy announced via megaphone from the stands, with Cody wearing a yellow outfit in the middle of a dark blue-outlined maze. "Remember: you are Pac-Man. You're hungry. It's been weeks since you've had a decent meal, and as luck would have it, you've got a bonanza laid out before you! But the ghosts of those who have died from starvation want their revenge, since they're ghosts, and they can't eat, being ghosts and all."

"Technically, they aren't ghosts," Heather said, sitting next to Izzy up in the stands. "They're monsters."

"Only nerds would call them that, though," Izzy said, sticking out her tongue, remembering not to speak right into the megaphone this time. "You, the queen bee to end all queen bees Heather isn't a big fat nerd, now is she?"

"I am not fat!" Heather yelled. "And I'm not a nerd anymore. But I have no problem with nerds."

Izzy looked confused. "I didn't mean fat literally, but… yeah." Izzy put the megaphone back to her mouth as she looked down at the blue-outlined maze below. "And go!"

Cody quickly cleared the dots around the bottom of the maze before the orange-clad Leshawna, pink-clad Katie, or Tyler or Bridgette could find him. As he saw Bridgette nearing him, he stepped onto a flashing dot tile, and Bridgette ran away, and Cody continued eating dots, only to step onto a second flashing dot tile, while the ghosts were staying away from Cody. Cody hurried to the third flashing dot tile before the second wore off, and the fourth flashing dot tile before the third wore off, and cleared all of the dots while the ghosts just kept away from him.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I'm ashamed to say that's the only way I ever really made much progress in Pac-Man. Old games are pretty hard.

* * *

"Well, that was boring," Izzy said, congratulating Cody down in the maze. "You cleared the board, but you only got twenty-six hundred points."

"I didn't see him at all, eh?" Ezekiel said, walking out, dressed as a red, yellow, and blue spaceship.

Cody scratched his head. "OK, what's with Ezekiel?"

"Well, there is no pear in Mr. Pac-Man, so we needed some two thousand point bonus item, didn't we?" Izzy asked, smirking. "What, I have to be fair, and all. Either way, you're winning so far, Cody. If anyone wants to beat you, they have to both clear the entire maze, while getting more than twenty-six hundred points. Can someone beat Cody?"

"Probably not me," Bridgette said, half smiling, looking down at the ground.

"Or you might surprise yourself," Izzy said, smiling. "But you're probably right."

"Thanks," Bridgette said sarcastically.

"Hey, after the deaf thing, you owed me one," Izzy said, winking. "But who can clear their maze with a higher score than twenty-six hundred points? Can anyone else clear their maze, period? If not, Cody wins by default… but if someone else can do it, he might be in trouble. Will he be? Won't he be? Find out, coming up on _Total Drama EEEEEEeeeeek!"_

"Was the screaming really necessary?" Cody asked, covering his ears.

"Probably more revenge for that joke earlier," Bridgette said, covering her ears as well.

"What, no, don't be silly!" Izzy exclaimed. "I mean, we have ghosts involved in this challenge, and when people see ghosts, they scream." Izzy shrugged. "Made sense to me, anyway."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen OK, I have to admit, I'm a bit partial to that name. Got a certain ring to it that I like. (Gwen waves her hands.) "EEEEEEeeeeek!" Nice and creepy!


	41. Day 19, Part 2: Total Quibbling Rivalry

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 41: Day 19: Part 2: Total Quibbling Rivalry**

"And welcome back to _Total Drama EEEEEEeeeeek!" _Izzy exclaimed.

"I don't really get that name," Bridgette said, confused.

"The ghosts, remember?" Izzy asked. "You were one of them… you have to admit the name is better than _Total Drama You-Know-Who."_

"Can't argue with that," Bridgette said, shrugging.

"When we left off, Katie didn't clear the maze, and Cody cleared it with twenty-six hundred points, so Cody is the guy to beat. If someone can clear the maze with more than twenty-six hundred points, she will become the winner!"

"I'm no she!" Tyler shouted, wearing a yellow jumpsuit, from down inside the same dark-blue outlined maze that Cody had completed.

"Well, the he or she thing is awkward, and most of you who are left are shes, so… yeah," Izzy said, shrugging.

Lindsay in red was waiting outside the ghost pen, while Cody in pink, Gwen in blue, and Heather in orange were waiting inside. Cody was looking miserable, while Gwen and Heather were chuckling slightly. "Can I ask why you two are laughing?" Cody asked, a bit uncomfortable.

"Nothing, nothing," Heather said, holding back. "We really do need to stop that, Gwen."

"You're right, you're right," Gwen said, smiling. "It's just… we'll, we're a little trapped right now."

"Look, I didn't want to wear the pink," Cody said, a bit irritated.

"We're sorry," Heather said, trying to stop. "It's just… funny, and we're forced together in here."

"Yeah, funny," Cody said, angry.

"We're teasing," Heather said, smiling.

"What are you even doing, bothering Gwen?" Cody asked, glaring at Heather.

"I wasn't bothering her?" Heather said, confused.

"He's a little protective over me," Gwen said, smiling. "It's kind of sweet. Heather's nice now, though. Promise!" Cody merely glared at Heather.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: OK, what's Heather up to, anyway? She's got something planned for Gwen, and I don't understand why Gwen doesn't see it.

* * *

Tyler had rushed over to the flashing tile in the lower-left corner of the maze, but couldn't find anyone. He was soon spotted by Lindsay.

"Tyler!" Lindsay exclaimed, and hurried up to glomp him, and started kissing him.

"Uh, Lindsay, you just killed me," Tyler said, nervous.

"But wasn't I supposed to do that?" Lindsay asked, innocent, rubbing her boot against the ground.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (twiddling her fingers) Tyler, I know how this game works. I am the smartest ghost, after all. But just because I have to kill you doesn't mean we can't make out after!

* * *

Tyler had started on his second life, but had trouble finding more lit dots, and was quickly cornered by Gwen, Heather, and Cody. Tyler found a few more dots on his third life, and even found--

"Ezekiel?" Tyler asked. "Why are you dressed like a colorful spaceship?"

"If you get me, I'm worth two thousand points, eh," Ezekiel said, shrugging, then was quickly hoisted up into the air by Izzy.

"Sorry, too slow," Izzy said from the top of the maze wall. "Oh, and might want to run. The ghosts are coming to take you away, ha ha!"

"They are?" Tyler asked, concerned, as he was trapped by Gwen on one end, and Heather on the other end of the short passage he was in. "You two better run, 'cause I can eat you! Yeah, I've got the power of the power pellet on my side! Yeah!"

"Uh, no you don't," Gwen said. "Izzy would've announced it."

"She did," Tyler said, feigning anger. "You just--hey!" Heather had just touched Tyler from the other side.

"Sorry Tyler, but you're out," Izzy said, smiling, pointing her thumb in the direction away from Tyler. "You're not a very good liar."

"But how did they know?" Tyler asked, nervous.

"Because Izzy would've announced it if you could eat the ghosts!" Katie screamed from up in the stands, through her megaphone. "She needs to do that so they can run away!"

"Little loud, Katie," Bridgette said, holding her ears.

"What?!" Katie screamed, turning toward Bridgette, knocking her out of her seat. Katie then took the megaphone away from her mouth, looking embarrassed. "Sorry." Katie helped Bridgette back up. "Please don't tease me about being deaf, too."

"What, no, I'm fine," Bridgette said, smiling, dusting herself off. "Izzy told you?"

"Izzy told me," Katie said, grinning wide.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Yeah, I think Izzy wanted to get a little payback. I can take it.

* * *

Heather was wearing yellow, with a big red bow sitting atop her bald head, as she was standing in the starting position in the dark pink maze. Tyler was standing outside the ghost pen, while Katie clad in pink, Bridgette, and Leshawna clad in orange were waiting inside the pen.

"So, what's this thing between you and Heather?" Cody asked Gwen, up in the stands.

"Heather's so super nice!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling brightly.

"She could be tricking you again," Cody said. "Remember last year, you thought she was super nice, and then she turned against you?"

"I really don't think that's going to happen," Gwen said, smiling slightly.

"But we know Leshawna's mean, and even though Leshawna didn't like Heather, she brought her back for reasons unknown," Cody said, nervous. "That seemed suspicious to me."

Gwen shrugged. "You really ought to just give her a chance."

"That's right!" Lindsay exclaimed. "You should give Leshawna a chance!"

"Yeah, kind of already did," Gwen said, irritated. "Go Heather!" Gwen exclaimed, waving her fist in the air.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I know what Leshawna did was like so wrong, but she really feels bad about it, and I remember how close she and Gladys used to be. But then, I know how hard it was to forgive Heather. I wish I could help them.

* * *

Heather was turning off light panels near the bottom of the maze, hopping over a flashing tile, not seeing any of the ghosts, though she did see Izzy the pear bouncing through the maze.

"Bouncing? Really?" Heather asked, chasing Izzy.

"It's fun, and proper for the game!" Izzy exclaimed. "Though technically, I should be cherries or a strawberry for this level, but they're worth fewer points, and that wouldn't be far to not have the same scores available for everyone--hey!"

"Two thousand points!" Heather exclaimed, doing a little dance after catching Izzy off guard. "Go me, go me, go--"

"Sorry, Heather," Leshawna said, tagging Heather. "I need to win this thing, though."

Heather shrugged. "Fair enough, Clyde."

"Clyde?" Leshawna asked, confused.

"You," Heather said, smirking. "Orange ghost. The stupid one, even though they picked two intelligent women for the role. Go figure."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: You would think if Heather knew that they were called monsters, that she would also know that Leshawna was Sue, and not Clyde. But I never really liked calling them monsters. I mean, they look like cute little ghosts, with little bed sheets and eyes cut out… those aren't monsters.

Izzy: I'm deathly curious how Lindsay has all of the ghosts' names memorized, since she's not usually that good with names. Then again, if she could remember a name like Usagi, who am I to judge?

* * *

Heather was sneaking around the maze, turning off a few tiles every now and then, and found Tyler, who spotted her, and gave chase.

"Stop!" Tyler shouted, running after Heather.

"Why would I do that?" Heather asked, smirking back at Tyler while headed toward a flashing tile.

"So I can catch you!" Tyler shouted.

"And lose?" Heather asked. "I don't think--oof!" Heather had crashed into Bridgette coming from the other way right as she stepped onto the flashing tile.

"Six seconds!" Izzy exclaimed, from somewhere within the maze.

"But I got Heather," Bridgette said, confused. "I got Heather right when she stepped on the flashing tile."

"Ties go to Ms. Pac-Man," Izzy said. Heather than chased after Tyler, catching him, and Tyler sulked back toward the ghost pen. "You really can go faster than--hey!"

"You were distracted again," Heather said, smirking as she was touching Izzy's pear suit again.

"So were you!" Bridgette exclaimed, tagging Heather. "I got you out!"

"Actually, you didn't," Izzy said, shaking her head. "You need to go back to the ghost pen before you can tag Ms. Pac-Man out."

"Oh, yeah," Bridgette said, chuckling nervously. "Kind of forgot that part." Bridgette hurried off to the ghost pen, while Heather waited, tapping her foot, and soon enough, Bridgette was back out, and coming after her. "I'll get you this time!"

"Yeah!" Tyler exclaimed, following behind. "Uh, yeah!"

Heather casually walked away, leading Tyler and Bridgette right over toward

"Six seconds!" Izzy announced from the stands once more.

"How did she get up there so fast?" Tyler asked, confused. Bridgette shrugged, and the two were quickly tagged by Heather again, rushing past. "Bad time to ask, I guess." The two hurried back to the ghost pen.

Heather was rushing to the top half of the maze to unlight more lights, and saw Leshawna, who started giving chase, as well as Katie, who followed closely behind. "Can't catch me!" Heather teased, and took the third flashing tile. Leshawna and Katie noticed, and quickly started running away, though Heather caught Leshawna. She also caught Bridgette and Tyler once more, meeting up with them right outside the ghost house.

"This isn't a very fun game," Bridgette said, sighing, as she and Tyler went back into the ghost pen before resuming chasing Heather once more, who was already long gone.

"Tell me about it," Leshawna said, headed into the ghost pen. "Where you think she--"

"Six seconds!" Izzy shouted again from up in the stands with her megaphone once more. Bridgette and Tyler looked nervously at each other as Heather whipped by again. Leshawna tried running as well, though Heather caught up, then Heather headed to get the remaining lit tiles.

"I did it!" Heather exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air, and Izzy was quickly down there with her.

"Good job, Heather!' Izzy exclaimed. "That was, like, so awesome! It's like you knew what to do, and how to do it, and you only lost one life!"

"I lost zero," Cody meekly said from up in the stands.

"But she got more points!" Izzy exclaimed. "Ten thousand four hundred! That's going to be hard to beat!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: OK, I kinda' got lost after I ran away from Heather, but hey, she didn't get to eat me!

Bridgette: I never would've pegged Heather as a gamer girl.

Heather: I know video games are only for losers, and when I was popular, I wouldn't have been caught dead playing video games, but I was a loser for years before I was able to climb the social ladder. I always beat Taylor and Jewel so good, too! (Heather winks for the camera.) And they're still monsters, and not ghosts!

* * *

Bridgette had a big red bow in her hair, and was wearing a yellow version of her usual hoodie and shorts in the starting position of the light blue maze, with yellow lights on the tiles. Lindsay was again clad in red, standing outside the ghost pen, while Cody in pink, Gwen in blue, and Heather in orange were waiting inside the pen.

"You know how to play, right?" Katie yelled from up in the stands, using her megaphone.

"Turn off the lights, right?" Bridgette yelled back, with her hands around her mouth, mimicking a megaphone.

"Yes!" Katie yelled. "Avoid the ghosts, except when you step on a flashing tile! Then you can get the ghosts for points!'

"OK!" Bridgette yelled back. "I'm ready!"

"Go!" Izzy exclaimed, watching from the top of the walls of the maze. Bridgette was off, turning light tiles off, though getting lost easily, and was soon surrounded by Gwen and Heather, smirking at each other, as they closed in on Bridgette, getting her out.

"Don't worry, Bridgette!" Katie yelled. "You still have two more chances!"

"Right," Bridgette said to herself, getting back into starting position, as well as the ghosts.

"And go!" Izzy exclaimed. Bridgette nodded and took off, turning off more lights as she made her way to one of the flashing tiles. She stepped on it after seeing Cody approaching, then took off after him.

"Gotcha'!" Bridgette exclaimed, looking pleased with herself after tagging Cody. Cody shrugged then hurried back to the ghost pen. Bridgette was grinning as she turned off more lights, and spotted Izzy the pear. Bridgette chased after Izzy and caught her, but Bridgette was quickly tagged by Lindsay from around the corner.

"This isn't too bad," Bridgette said, smiling. "It's hard, but kind of fun."

"I know!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming, glomping Bridgette.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I can't really see myself being that entertained by a video game, but in real life, at least, Pac-Man's pretty fun after all!

* * *

On her last life, Bridgette was waiting beside another flashing tile, and once more, Cody came approaching. Bridgette quickly stepped on the tile, then chased after Cody, catching him. Once more, though, from out of seemingly nowhere, Lindsay showed up to tag Bridgette after the energizer time expired.

"Good game," Lindsay said, beaming. "I mean, you lost, but you did pretty good."

"Thanks," Bridgette said, smiling. "That was pretty fun. Seems a little tame for Chris to come up with, really."

"I might've made a few changes," Izzy said, leaping down from the top of the maze wall. "Chris wanted trap doors and fire shooting from the walls, and other stupid stuff like that. I don't know why he'd want to ruin a perfectly nice game of Pac-Man like that, though. I mean, I think it would be pretty cool, but I know you guys don't really like that sort of thing."

"Thank you," Bridgette said, smiling. "I can live with you as the host."

Izzy glomped Bridgette, taking her by surprise. "You won't have to worry about that for long!"

Bridgette went wide-eyed. "You're not killing him, are you?"

"What? No, no!" Izzy exclaimed, waving her hands. "I just meant that this may be Chris' last season hosting this show. The producers may want to take things in a different direction. But I'm not allowed to talk about that, nope nope nope!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: OK….

* * *

Tyler was standing outside the ghost pen of the light blue maze, with Bridgette, Katie in pink, and Leshawna in orange inside the ghost pen. Gwen was sulking in her starting position, wearing a bright yellow version of her usual outfit.

"I hate this!" Gwen yelled, tugging at her top. "It looks so sickening!" Gwen stood with her arms across her chest for several seconds, then perked up suddenly. "Who are the ghosts, anyway?"

Izzy whipped out her megaphone from up in the stands. "Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and--"

"That's not what I meant!" Gwen yelled. "I meant who's playing those parts?"

"Oh, that," Izzy said, waving dismissively toward Gwen. "Tyler, Katie, Bridgette, and Leshawna."

Gwen smirked. "Thank you. I'm ready."

"All right, go!" Izzy exclaimed loudly. Gwen hurried off, turning off a few lights as she made her way to one of the flashing tiles. She waited there, but ran off when Bridgette started approaching her. Gwen made her way over to another flashing tile, but ran off once more when Tyler came her way. Gwen spotted Leshawna on her way to the top of the maze, and stepped on a third flashing tile, then aimed straight for Leshawna, leaping on her with all her weight.

"Can I get up?" Leshawna asked, with Gwen pressing down.

"No," Gwen stated coldly.

"Gwen, the other ghosts are going to get you if you just stand there, ya' know," Izzy said, trying to hint for Gwen to move. "I thought you weren't going to try to kill Leshawna anymore, anyway."

Gwen was visibly shaking for a second, then got up. "**Go!**" she yelled at Leshawna, then sat right back down, crying.

Izzy looked down at Gwen, confused. "Are you OK?"

"I got you!" Tyler exclaimed, tagging Gwen from behind, though she backhandedly punched him, angry. "What was that for?!" Tyler yelled, on the ground.

"I think this game is over," Izzy said, worried. "Heather, can you come take Gwen?" Heather nodded, and hurried down to ground level as fast as she could.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: (concerned, with Gwen crying on her shoulder, and Heather patting Gwen's back) It's still bothering you, isn't it? That was me, too.

Gwen: **Was **you. **Is **her.

(Heather looked guilty toward the camera.)

* * *

"OK," Izzy said, a bit frazzled. "Bridgette, could you stay down here to play ghost again?"

"Sure," Bridgette said, smiling. "This actually is pretty fun."

"Leshawna, you'll need to change into this," Izzy said, whipping out a yellow version of her shirt and jeans, and looked concerned. "Are you OK?"

"I kinda' deserved it," Leshawna said, looking like she was holding back tears.

"No," Izzy said, shaking her head. "You were already punished, and if she wants to vote you off, I wouldn't blame her. This really isn't good for her, though."

"I think I can handle being a ghost again this round!" Gwen shouted from up in the stands.

"It might be better for you to sit this one out," Heather said, smiling. Gwen shot her an uncomfortable glare.

"Heather's right," Izzy said. "You probably should sit this one out. Katie, can we pretend you're an orange ghost for this round?"

Katie shrugged. "I guess you can."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: I was worried about Gwen. She just doesn't seem like she's in her right mind. I was worried about Leshawna too, guilting herself to death.

* * *

Leshawna was standing at the starting point of the dark blue maze, with a big bow in her hair, and wearing a bright yellow version of her usual outfit, while Lindsay wearing red was waiting outside the ghost pen, and Cody in pink, Katie in pink pretending to be orange, and Bridgette were waiting inside the ghost pen.

"Ready set go!" Izzy exclaimed from the stands with her megaphone, then quickly went down to the top of the maze walls. Leshawna was turning off the lights on the tiles, and soon turned off a flashing tile, and she went out to chase the ghosts, but only found Cody.

"We really need to vote her off," Gwen said, angry, with Heather nervous beside her. Tyler was slowly scooting away as well.

"I really think you two should--" Heather started, though was quickly interrupted.

"I really think you and everyone else needs to stop sympathizing with her! She's evil!" Gwen yelled, then took off one of her boots and hummed it straight for Leshawna's head, knocking her out while Bridgette was chasing her.

"What was that?!" Bridgette yelled, quickly tending to Leshawna. "Are you OK?"

"I don't think so," Izzy said, nervously, as she hopped down to the ground to check up on Leshawna. "That's the second hardest I've ever seen anyone throw a boot, I'll say. I've thrown regular shoes harder, but I just can't get into boots, myself."

Lindsay turned a corner, then hurried up to Leshawna to tag her. "I got you!" Lindsay exclaimed, clapping her hands in excitement. Izzy and Bridgette exchanged nervous looks.

"She's unconscious," Izzy said sympathetically. "I'll get Nurse Chef. You two just wait here." Izzy bounced off as Bridgette and Lindsay stared.

Shortly after, Lindsay gave Leshawna a tight hug, crying. "I'm sorry. Like, I know you were really mean, but you were really nice, too."

"She'll be OK, I'm sure," Bridgette said, nervous.

"I'm OK," Leshawna said weakly, opening her eyes, and noticing Gwen's boot next to her head. "I'd do anything to make it up to that girl."

"I wish I could help," Bridgette said, wiping her forehead, smiling slightly. "I don't know if you can do anything."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Leshawna brought Heather back, even though Leshawna was really, really mean to her, and doesn't even like her! Shouldn't that make Gwen happy?

* * *

"I am ready," Lindsay stated to Izzy. "I may not be able to even get up to the pretty pink maze sometimes, but I'm feeling good today! I can do this!"

"Bridgette doesn't care about the video game, but she liked this," Izzy said, smiling. "Maybe you'll be a master on this playing field."

"I will be!" Lindsay exclaimed, with a serious smile on her face.

"Good," Izzy stated. "You'll be performing in the brown maze with red dots."

"The actual pear level," Lindsay said, smiling. "Pears aren't that yummy, though. They're like soggy apples."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: I knew I could be in danger if I lost this challenge--I still have my share of haters--but I really wanted to see Lindsay do well. She can use the confidence boost.

* * *

Tyler was standing outside the ghost pen. Katie in pink, Leshawna in orange, and Bridgette were waiting inside the pen. Lindsay, with a large bow in her hair, and wearing bright yellow, was standing in the starting position in the brown maze with red lights on the floor tiles.

"This really isn't my color," Lindsay whined, tugging at her shirt. "I liked the red outfit more."

"But you're Ms. Pac-Man," Izzy said, from the top of the walls of the maze. "Ms. Pac-Man's supposed to be yellow, and stuff."

Lindsay raised an eyebrow, then sighed. "OK, but I still don't like this color on me. This looks more like something Leshawna would wear." Leshawna looked embarrassed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: (holding back laughter)  
Gwen: (raising an eyebrow) It was funny. You can laugh.  
Heather: It was kind of mean, though.  
Gwen: And Leshawna's kind of mean, too, so it evens out. Really, you can laugh.

Leshawna: I don't dress bad! And I ain't gonna' wear a miniskirt, yellow or any other color! They don't really look good on me. (Leshawna looks down.)

Izzy: Leshawna's a trooper. I have to give her that.

* * *

"I'm ready," Lindsay stated, looking as if she were ready to take off like a speeding bullet.

"Go!" Izzy exclaimed, and Lindsay took off like a bullet, turning off several dots quickly, and shortly turned off most of the lights in the bottom half of the maze. "Watch it!" Izzy shouted in pear form falling down, as Lindsay tagged her, racing past.

"Sorry Izzy, but I want to win!" Lindsay exclaimed, and soon saw Katie in front of her. Lindsay turned around but saw Bridgette behind her. Lindsay rushed toward Bridgette, and slid and scooted past Bridgette without being touched, leaving Bridgette confused.

"Wait, is she allowed to do that?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"It happens in the game, so yes!" Lindsay exclaimed.

Pear Izzy shrugged, from the top of the maze walls again. "Sounds good enough for me. Oh, and six seconds."

"She can't catch me!" Katie exclaimed, right before Lindsay appeared in front of her and tagged her. "Or she can, really, where the heck did that come from?!" Katie returned back to the ghost pen, and noticed Bridgette, Tyler, and Leshawna exiting.

"White girl's tough," Leshawna said. "We need to surround here good. Not give her a chance to--"

"Six seconds!" Izzy exclaimed, but Lindsay quickly ran by and tagged all four of the 'ghosts' before they even knew what hit them. "Yes, you need to go back in the box," Izzy stated, then hopped back down into the maze. And hopped back onto the wall a few seconds later. "She's good."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Izzy: Really, Lindsay's like one of those hacked Ms. Pac-Man machines where Ms. Pac-Man goes super fast through the maze. I really should know better by now, but it still surprises me just how focused Lindsay can be sometimes.

Lindsay: (rubbing her temples) That was hard! So much concrete I had to do.

* * *

"I did it!" Lindsay exclaimed, after turning off a final tile. "I win! I have to have the highest score!"

"Eighteen thousand, five hundred seventy points!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Yay!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming, clapping her hands together while jumping in place.

"You missed a dot, though," Izzy said, smirking.

"Huh?" Lindsay asked, confused as Bridgette walked up to her and tagged her.

"And you just lost a life," Izzy said, shaking her head. "You were going so fast, you completely skipped over one of the tiles without ever stepping foot on it. If you want to win, you have to find that tile." Lindsay nodded as she walked back to her starting place, not noticing the tile on her way. "And go!"

Lindsay hurried around the maze looking for the final dot, having trouble finding it. When she entered the bottom-middle area of the maze, she was quickly surrounded by Tyler and Leshawna on one side, and Katie and Bridgette on the other, and Lindsay could not escape.

On Lindsay's third life, she continued scuttling around the maze, desperately trying to look for the final lit tile, but was getting dizzy after several turns with Katie on her tail, nearly running into Leshawna on another turn, who started trying to take shortcuts to cut off Lindsay, while Tyler and Bridgette kept trying to cut in, too. But Lindsay ultimately found the final lit tile around the top of the maze.

"Leshawna, the tile's up there!" Katie called out. Lindsay was running up to the dot, but Leshawna, hiding behind the corner up ahead, tagged Lindsay inches away from the tile.

"I'm sorry, Lindsay," Izzy said, looking sympathetic. "But despite your score, you didn't clear the maze, which means Heather wins immunity, and you don't."

"But she has another life!" Heather shouted from up in the stands, with Katie's megaphone she'd left up there.

"She lost three lives, though," Izzy said.

"She has another!" Heather shouted. "She gets an extra life at ten thousand points, which she's surpassed!"

"Yeah, I surprised it!" Lindsay exclaimed, then turned confused. "I don't know how Heather's wording made sense, but she's right! I do get an extra life at ten thousand points!"

"You do?" Izzy asked, blinking, then shrugged. "I'll trust you two on that. Only hurts Heather, so why not? Lindsay, you get one last chance, and you know where that last dot is. But so do they."

"I can do it!" Lindsay stated excitedly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: I don't get it. Heather coulda' won if she just kept her big ol' mouth shut. Why tell Izzy that she had another chance? I know it be weird, but I'm really thinkin' that Heather's for real.

* * *

Lindsay quickly rushed over to the lit tile, though the other four contestants were already there, waiting, surrounding the tile. Lindsay moved her bandanna lower, then rushed toward the others, sliding toward the tile, with one leg sticking out. Bridgette was ready to tag, but right before she did, Lindsay flipped her body over to position her leg through a small opening to turn off the light right as Katie tagged her.

"So… did I get her?" Katie asked, unsure, tapping her chin. "I think that was like a tie."

"Then I would win!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming. "I win! I win!"

"Does she?" Izzy asked, looking over at Heather.

"Yes, actually, she would," Heather said, smiling. "You mentioned it earlier, remember?"

"Then congratulations Lindsay!" Izzy exclaimed, leaping down to the floor. "You've cleared the maze with an amazing eighteen thousand, five hundred eighty points, and you are immune tonight!"

"Thank you!" Lindsay exclaimed, glomping Izzy. "This maze actually seemed shaped just like the pink maze."

"This isn't the pink maze, though," Izzy said, a little concerned. "This is the brown maze."

"I know that," Lindsay said, waving her hand dismissively. "I know the first time you do this maze it's brown, but later in the game, when you do this maze again, it's a really pretty pink color with pretty blue dots!"

Izzy looked over to Heather, who shrugged, then turned back to Lindsay. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but OK!"

"Really, try getting really far and you'll get to see the pretty pink maze!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"I'm not really curious enough to try it," Izzy said. "I like my video games the same way I like my steaks."

"Yummy?" Lindsay asked, putting her finger to her mouth, confused.

"Bloody," Izzy said, sinister, shifting her eyes back and forth.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Goodbye Leshawna. Finally, you're out!

Katie: Gwen's kinda' scary. She's just so angry and mean and--wait. No. That was mean of me to say. Sorry Gwen! I know why she's angry, and I know it's Leshawna's fault, and Gwen's pretty cool, but she really needs a rest. This game is killing her on the inside.

Heather: Please forgive me. I have to do this. (Heather looks down and tears up.)

* * *

"I wish I knew Spanish," Izzy said, tapping her fingers on Chris' podium, as the eight campers were sitting around the campfire that night. "It would be, like, so awesome if I could give you the instructions in Spanish! But Izzy has decided that marshmallows are boring. Old school. Chris' thing, and Izzy doesn't like Chris very much." Izzy place a plate with eight small skulls on the podium. "Skulls, of course, represent poison. Or pirates sometimes, but in this case, poison."

"You're giving us poisoned skulls?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Who do you think I am, Chris? I don't like hurting you guys! They're candy skulls!" Izzy took a bite of one of the skulls, and white goo oozed out. "See? Delicious, scrumptious candy!"

"They look gross," Katie said, reeling back a bit.

"But would you eat them with a goat?" Izzy asked, grinning. "Would you eat them on the Boat of Losers? Of course not, because if you're on that boat, that means you did not receive a skull, and will be eliminated, to never return to this island ever again. At least not as a contestant. You may be coming back anyway, though. Hard to tell for sure, even knowing what Chris has in store. But I do promise you guys that no one's coming back to compete, anyway. That part isn't a lie. Not anymore, at least."

"Won't bother me, not seeing Leshawna around anymore," Gwen said, glaring at Leshawna.

Izzy sighed. "Anyway, when I call your name, please come up to collect your skull."

"Bridgette." Bridgette smiled as she walked up to collect her skull. "Oh, and you have to eat it, too!"

"Can I see an ingredient list first?" Bridgette asked. "After the McDonald's fries, I'm a little suspicious of--"

Izzy took the skull from Bridgette's hand and popped it in her mouth. "You wouldn't like it. But she's hoping that Tyler likes it, since he gets one too!"

"All right!" Tyler exclaimed, pumping his fists in the air, then walked up to get his skull from Izzy. Tyler put it in his mouth without hesitation, and gave a thumbs up. "Pretty good!"

"Best treat ever?" Izzy asked, flirtatiously blinking at Tyler, holding her hands together.

"No, and do you have something in your eye?" Tyler asked, nervous.

"Lindsay, you're safe too!" Izzy exclaimed. "Come up and--"

"Wait!" Courtney shouted, coming out from the woods. "Izzy, I promise I'm not mad at anyone here. Can we please tell Lindsay who voted for me?"

Izzy sighed. "Fine, but can we wait until the ceremony's over?"

"OK," Courtney said, smiling.

"But I want to know now," Lindsay said, tearing up a little as she grabbed her skull and took a bite out of it. "It's been bothering me, and I don't know who I can't trust."

"Just a little bit longer, please?" Izzy asked sweetly. "Katie, get your skull!" Katie smiled nervously as she walked up and received her skull from Izzy, studying it suspiciously. "Just try it already!"

Katie sniffed the skull, then took a small lick, then a small bite, then quickly put the entire thing in her mouth, looking embarrassed. "It's still not pretty."

"Heather, you're actually safe too!" Izzy exclaimed. Heather walked up smiling and received her skull, eating it slowly. "Cody, you come up too!"

Cody smiled confidently as he strutted up to get his skull, then popped it in his mouth and started gagging, pounding on his chest for a few seconds. "Probably shouldn't have tried to eat it all at once."

"But what's the fun in that?" Izzy asked, then looked over at Leshawna and Gwen, both of whom were nervous. The other contestants were looking sad, themselves. Izzy held the final skull high in her hands. "This is the final candy sacrifice of the night. One of you will receive this glorious bounty. The other is dead to us! **Dead!** The loser must walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers, and you can never compete again in this competition. And the final skull goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Leshawna."

Leshawna smiled nervously, then turned to Gwen, who looked in shock, then started crying. "I'm sorry, girl," Leshawna said, patting Gwen's knee. "I'm actually kinda' surprised."

"I'm sorry, Gwen," Heather said, wiping a tear from her eye. "I voted for you."

"How could you?!" Gwen yelled.

"You betrayed Gwen?!" Leshawna yelled, raising a fist.

"Gwen wasn't healthy," Heather said. "She was driving herself insane, and it hurt me to see that." Heather walked over to Leshawna and extended her right hand. "I was really hoping you two could work things out, but it seems to have been naïve on my part. Gwen's really hurting, though, and I hope she might feel a little better away from you, and with Trent comforting her." Heather winked at Gwen. "And if Trent doesn't take care of you, be sure to let me know, and I'll take care of him."

Gwen giggled for a moment, before catching herself and putting back on a scowl. "Why did you have to take Leshawna's side, though?"

"I didn't want to," Heather said. "Heaven knows how much I disliked her. But you don't realize how much Leshawna cares about you. She may be a little stupid, but she worries greatly about you."

"Who you callin' stupid?" Leshawna asked, irritated.

"The girl who thought spreading Gwen's diary around the camp was going to help Gwen!" Heather shot back. Leshawna looked guilty. Heather turned back to Gwen. "You really needed to leave this competition, Gwen, for yourself. This place was killing you."

Gwen sighed, looking down, then looked like the reality finally hit her as she turned back up to face Heather, angry. "**How dare you!**" Heather looked worried. "I trusted you, and you just voted me off like that?! Did you forget what Leshawna did to me?"

"You don't let us forget," Lindsay said, rolling her eyes.

"I don't need to hear it from you," Gwen stated.

"I think you do," Lindsay said, angry.

"Lindsay, I don't think this is a good idea," Courtney quietly said, nervous. "Might want to back down."

"No!" Lindsay yelled, throwing her hands into the air. "Ever since you came back, Gwen, you've been mean, and angry, and yelling at everyone, and you tried to **kill **Leshawna?!"

"Did you forget what--you got my name right?" Gwen shook her head to refocus. "Heather made my life hell last year, and Leshawna's doing it this year, and once again, you're being duped by--"

"**I am not!**" Lindsay yelled. "No one is tricking me this year! Well, except Bridgette, Heather, or Leshawna, but I'm not sure who it was, but--"

"It was you, Lindsay," Courtney said, smiling uncomfortably. "You voted me off. Well, you and Chris. Mostly Chris."

Lindsay's face contorted as she tried taking in the information. "But I voted for him," Lindsay said, pointing to Cody. "I'd never vote for you, Courtney. Except maybe if I had to choose between you and Tyler, but I wouldn't vote for you behind your back!"

"Lindsay did not vote for you, Courtney," Heather said. "Lindsay practically worships you."

"Well, maybe it's my fault for targeting someone else with a c-name. Lindsay voted for Candy, and despite Chris fully well **knowing** who Lindsay meant, Chris counted it as a vote against me."

"Isn't his name Candy?" Lindsay asked, confused. Heather slapped her own face in frustration. "What is his name?"

"Cody," Courtney answered.

"So I voted you off?" Lindsay asked, on the verge of crying.

"Well, yeah," Courtney answered nervously.

Lindsay immediately glomped Courtney, crying profusely. "I'm sorry," Lindsay said softly.

Courtney pat her lightly on the head, tearing up a little herself. "Thank you."

"Gwen, I don't blame you for being mad at Leshawna," Bridgette said. "That anger's gotten out of control, though. You really need to control it. It's for your own good."

"Are **all **of you against me?" Gwen asked, seething.

"Duh," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"OK, that definitely wasn't the best response," Courtney said, fretting a bit.

"Cody," Gwen said, smiling uncomfortably. "You're on my side, right?"

"I am on your side," Cody said, nervous, rubbing the back of his neck. "You need a little help right now, though, and this competition isn't helping you. It's hurting you, even."

"But I'm hot!" Gwen yelled. "I'm the sexy goth girl!"

"OK, she's definitely lost it," Courtney stated, worried.

"**I've **lost it?!" Gwen screamed. "All of you turn against me, and **I'm **the one who's lost it?!"

"No one turned against you," Heather said. "We all want you to be happy."

"**So you kicked me out!**" Gwen screamed. "**Makes perfect freaking sense!**" Gwen collapsed to the ground, sobbing. Everyone else looked in horror.

"I'm sorry," Heather said, sniffling. Leshawna hugged Heather, who hugged back.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: I'm sorry I was a bitch.  
Leshawna: I'm sorry I never let you be anything else. (Heather and Leshawna hug tightly.)

* * *

Gwen was sitting in the Boat of Losers, looking miserable as the boat left. The seven contestants and Courtney were standing on the dock, waving goodbye, crying a bit.

"Izzy," Courtney said, looking back. "Do you think Chris would mind if I spent the night in his trailer. I have some… things to do."

"He'd mind," Izzy said, smirking.

"All the better reason to do it, then," Courtney answered, smirking back.

Lindsay looked to Courtney, guilty. "Courtney, I'm--"

"Please don't," Courtney said, holding her hand up. "It wasn't your fault."

"But it was," Lindsay said, looking a bit pouty. "All I had to do was remember one little name."

"Names aren't something you're good at," Courtney said. "Everyone has strengths and weaknesses."

"I don't have strengths," Lindsay said, crying a little.

"Really, Miss Invincibility Winner?" Courtney asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That was a flute," Lindsay said, looking down.

"I heard you were really focused on what you were doing," Courtney said. "I remember you seemed to have great athleticism last season." Lindsay shrugged. "You're smarter than you give yourself credit for, too! Remember the murder mystery?"

"**Fake **murder mystery," Bridgette said, a bit irritated, with her hands in her pockets.

"Point is, you figured that out," Courtney said, smiling. "You've also been a great friend. Bridgette too--I don't want you to feel left out, Bridgette--but we were on different teams this year, and Lindsay's been such an invaluable asset."

"And she completes you!" Izzy teased.

"No!" Courtney yelled, then turned back to Lindsay. "You and Bridgette--and a certain other Bridget--have really helped me, though. Old Courtney may have held voting me off by accident against you forever, but I'd like to think I'm past that." Courtney walked over to Bridgette, and pulled out a little painted sculpted stone figuring of Bridgette from her pants' pocket. "I'm also sorry I forgot about you before. I wanted you to have one of these too!"

"Aww, you didn't give me one," Lindsay said, looking down.

"I thought you had one," Courtney said, confused.

"Yeah, but that one was from Santa Claus," Lindsay said. "You didn't give me one."

"Oh yeah," Courtney said, chuckling nervously as Bridgette giggled. "Well, about that, you see--"

"Courtney was helping Santa," Bridgette said, smiling. "She, well, made it for Santa to give to you."

"Aww," Lindsay said, smiling brightly. "Thank you!" Lindsay glomped Courtney, crying a little.

"Thank you," Bridgette said, smiling, hugging Courtney. "This really is awesome."

Izzy sniffled, and wiped her nose on her arm. "That's so sweet. Or bittersweet, what with that whole Gwen thing… and people think I'm crazy!"

"You are crazy," Courtney flatly stated.

"True, but I'm happy crazy!" Izzy exclaimed. "Seeing Gwen like that was sad. That cheered no one up. And Chris likely returning for the next challenge will also not cheer anyone up." Izzy shrugged. "Sorry guys, but once Chris is back, fun Izzy is gone. From hosting, anyway. She'll still annoy him for you guys."

"It's all we can ask, oh great one," Katie said, giggling a bit.

"Gwen has left us, and has left a hole in our hearts," Izzy said. "We all hope she gets better. But someone else is going to leave us in a few days. Only seven contestants remain. Who will be the next one voted off? Find out next time on _Total Drama--"_

"Gwen!" Heather and Leshawna screamed together.

"You guys, I wasn't going to say Chris," Izzy said, rolling her eyes. "I was going to do that awesome scream again."

"It's kind of deafening," Heather said. "How would you even spell it?"

"Six capital E's and five lowercase e's, followed by a k," Izzy said. "I mean, if I may borrow from Katie, 'duh.'"

"Of course," Heather said, rolling her eyes. "So obvious."

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Gwen  
Cody: Gwen  
Gwen: Leshawna  
Heather: Gwen  
Katie: Gwen  
Leshawna: Cody  
Lindsay: Gwen  
Tyler: Gwen

Gwen: 6  
Leshawna: 1  
Cody: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel, Trent, Harold, Courtney, Gwen

Remaining Contestants: Bridgette, Cody, Heather, Katie, Leshawna, Lindsay, Tyler

* * *

Yes, Gwen has been eliminated once more. I'm sorry for the Gwen fans out there who were hoping she'd win the entire thing. And I'm sorry that she left in such a miserable state. That was legitimately hard for me to write. We still have fourteen chapters left, though. Hopefully things can still change for Gwen….


	42. Day 20, Part 1: I Think We're Alone Now

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 42: Day 20: Part 1: I Think We're Alone Now**

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, shortly before sunrise, looking smug as he looked at the camera, making grand gestures as he spoke. "Good news! Izzy isn't here to bother me today for a change, so I can do this my way! Last time on _Total Drama Chris_--I love being able to say the show's name without interruption! _Total Drama Chris! Total Drama Chris! Total Drama Chris! _I love it! Irregardless, last time, I unfortunately had to be elsewhere, for stupid reasons." Chris rolled his eyes. "As if Izzy never tried to kill someone."

Chris straightened out his shirt and coughed before continuing. "Izzy hosted our Pac-Man challenge, and if I should say so--and I do--she was pathetic. No one's going to want to watch her host anything, and I'm sure all of this show's fans are going to leave us because of that stupid stunt. I know that my loyal viewers all want to see more of me! Chris Maclaine!" Chris winked at the camera. "Last time, she ruined the Pac-Man challenge by not activating the flames and spike pits, but no, she just had to play it straight. Like anyone wants to see a boring, non-violent game of Pac-Man." Chris scoffed. "But still, Lindsay cheated to win the challenge--not that I have a problem with cheating. I sometimes let things slide. But for some reason I don't really understand, almost everyone voted for Gwen, and Gwen has been removed from this island." Chris shook his head. "And I thought everyone liked Gwen. Teenagers are so fickle."

Chris put back on his wide smile. "And now, only seven remain. Only… they're not here. After that stupid ordeal the stupid justice system put me through, testifying for some stupid trial, I need a break, and I'm getting one! So stay tuned as we see who can survive, coming up now on _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris' smile went away. "And cut! Get me my latté! What do I pay you people for?!" Chris walked over to his trailer, and tried to open the door, but couldn't. "OK, why the hell is my trailer locked?!"

"So the campers don't get in, fool!" Chef yelled from nearby. "Just use your damn key!"

"I shouldn't have to use my key!" Chris whined. "The interns are supposed to unlock it for me!" Chris put his key in the keyhole and unlocked it, but the door still wouldn't open. "It's stuck!"

"Quit your whinin' fool!" Chef shouted, as he walked over and pushed Chris aside, struggling with the door himself. "What the hell?!"

"OK, ha ha, funny joke, soon-to-be-blacklisted intern!" Chris yelled.

"Unless it was Izzy," Chef said, shrugging. "I think the producers like her more than you."

"No they don't!" Chris whined. "Izzy's a stupid meany-head! Why would they like her more than me?"

"Viewers love her," Chef stated. "Don't you check these things?"

"But I'm the star!" Chris whined, stomping his foot. "Me, me, me!" Chef rolled his eyes.

* * *

"_Mommy! Daddy!" Lindsay exclaimed, rushing through the front door of her mansion. "I'm back from Total Drama… Something with an i!"_

"_Total Drama Island, dear," Lindsay's mother said, stepping into the room with Lindsay. "Did you win, honey?"_

"_You weren't watching?" Lindsay asked, sad._

"_Well, it hasn't aired yet," Lindsay's mother said. "Don't you know how television works?"_

"_Yes, Mommy," Lindsay said, a bit irritated. "I know that the people inside the TV aren't really inside the TV. You and Daddy talked about that last year. The people inside the TV are actually somewhere else, and we actually get to see them from a far away place."_

"_You still don't entirely get it," the mother said._

"_Can you tell me?" Lindsay asked, looking hopeful._

"_It's not important," the mother said, sighing. "You wouldn't understand it."_

"_I'll understand it this time," Lindsay said, looking pouty._

"_No, you won't," the mother stated. "Did you win or lose?"_

"_I lost," Lindsay said, smiling. "But it's OK. Everyone in the world is going to know how pretty I am!"_

"_Canada, dear," the mother said, shaking her head. "TV shows like this rarely get popular throughout the whole world."_

"_But I'm pretty!" Lindsay said, a bit shocked. "Won't all the people who aren't from Canadia want to see me?"_

"_Oh, of course, dear, but that's not really how television works." The mother looked concerned. "Did you make any friends?"_

_Lindsay sighed, then looked down. "There was this girl who was almost as pretty as me named Heather, and she was really, really nice… except she turned on me."_

_The mother sighed and gave her daughter a hug. "You don't need people like that in your life."_

"_There was also a girl named Betty," Lindsay said. "She wasn't very pretty, but she was nice, and it turned out that Heather was using her too! I was like so surprised when she told me that Heather was mean to her, too! Oh, and there was this really hot guy named Trent, and I really loved kissing him, and he kissed me, and--"_

"_Too much, too much!" the mother said teasingly. "Was this Trent guy nice to you?"_

"_Oh, yes!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming. "He kissed me, and I kissed him, and he was so yummy!"_

"_I think the show is going to start airing next week, honey," the mother said. "I want to watch and make sure this guy is right for you."_

"_Oh, he is," Lindsay said, smiling. "He is… hey, why does it feel like I'm lying on the cold ground?"_

"_Because you're asleep, and you're waking up," the mother said._

"_But I'm not asleep," Lindsay said, confused. "I'm talking to you, and I can't talk to you if I'm asleep."_

"_You're dreaming, honey," the mother said._

* * *

Lindsay woke up slightly before sunrise, confused and shivering a bit. She was looking around her, confused, sitting up from the ground she was on, feeling it, then looking at her hand, looking disgusted seeing dirt on it. Lindsay looked around and saw Heather, Leshawna, Cody, Tyler, Katie, and Bridgette sleeping, all near a large body of water. Lindsay slowly got up, and looked around. _Where are we? Are we supposed to find out way back? Should I wake everyone else up, or should I let them sleep? _Lindsay looked down at the other contestants, comfortably sleeping, then shrugged and started looking around, until she found what looked like the outhouse.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Lindsay: (looking around) This doesn't look like the confessional on the island. It's too clean… it's like they didn't have enough time to make it dirty, or something. OK. (Lindsay sits down and taps her chin.) Kyle obviously sent us here, and put this here for us to use, and I'm not always the smartical one here, but I think we're supposed to find our way back.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: Well, it didn't take Lindsay long to find that. And saying she's not the "smarticle" one there is an understatement, to say the least. (Chris takes out his cell phone and types in a number.) Hello, Kwik Keys? I'm having a problem.

* * *

Bridgette was waking up, and nervously looked around almost right away. She saw the other contestants sleeping, minus Lindsay, but was frightened, unsure of where she was. Bridgette sat up, shivering in fear for several minutes, until Lindsay came back and saw her, and sat beside her.

"Are you OK?" Lindsay asked, concerned.

"Not really," Bridgette said, worried. "We seem to be lost."

"I've been trying to think about that," Lindsay said, then sighed, massaging her temples. "I'm really not good at thinking. It's hard." Lindsay tapped her chin in thought. "I wish I knew how to find our way back. I guess I could walk around, but then I'd probably just get even more lost. I'm not good at unlosting myself. Or anything else." Lindsay sighed. "I really, really hope I can be a model when I grow up, 'cause that's the only thing I'm any good at."

"I'm sure you can find your way around better than I can," Bridgette said, smiling. "I have trouble finding the bathroom in my own house!"

"I know," Lindsay said, smiling. "That is hard! I finally started remembering that I had to take the second staircase to get to second floor, then go left, left, right, left, and the bathroom was the sixth door on the left. I miscount a lot, though."

Bridgette's eyes went huge. "Your house is that big, and you only have one bathroom?"

Lindsay waved her hand dismissively. "No, silly! That's just the bathroom where I keep all of my supplies. One time I accidentally went into the wrong bathroom and wound up putting on my Dad's cologne. I smelled like an old person at school, and I was so embarrassed!" Lindsay smiled uncomfortably. "Actually, that happened more than once."

Bridgette chuckled. "Well, if I wore perfume more often, and I lived with my father, I'd probably make that same mistake."

Lindsay titled her head, concerned. "Did your Mommy and Daddy get one of those diversion things that are popular nowadays? My Mommy and Daddy would never--"

"He ran off," Bridgette said, frowning. "He ran off when I was young. We've heard that I might have a half-brother named Ceith somewhere out there, but we really don't know whether that's true or not."

Lindsay glomped Bridgette sweetly. "That's so sad. And I thought it was sad when Bree's parents got a diversion, and she had to keep going away and we could hardly go shopping together on some weekends. Put a major dent in our shopping sprees, but I was strong and accepted that her mean Daddy was taking her away sometimes."

Bridgette shook her head. "I don't think he was doing that to punish her, or you."

"It wasn't about me," Lindsay said. "Bree didn't want to spend any time with her Dad. Or her Mom, for that matter."

"A lot of teenagers are like that," Bridgette said. "They think their parents are dorks, and don't want to spend any time with them."

"I really don't think--" Lindsay started, then stopped, looking down. "I really don't think. You're probably right. I wish I could think."

"I'm sorry," Bridgette said, a bit guilty. "I don't know this girl. You do. You're probably right."

"I'm probably not right," Lindsay said. "I'm never right."

"Yes you are," Bridgette said. "You're smarter than you think."

"I'd have to be," Lindsay said, tearing up a little. "Couldn't be less."

"I wish you'd stop that," Bridgette said. "Why don't you tell me more about Brynne."

"Bree," Lindsay said, smirking. "She's almost as pretty as me, and she's probably even nicer than me! I don't really want to go into her situ… situ… go into her deal. I felt bad when I embarrassed Paula last year, and that was something minor, and I just know Chris has cameras around here."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: She figured it out! I guess I had her all wrong. She really is smart after all. (Chris laughs heartily, then wipes a tear from his eye.) Good one, Chris.

* * *

"You're a good friend," Bridgette said, smiling.

"Well, I remembered that you were afraid of being along in the forest," Lindsay said, then squinted while tapping her chin. "At least I think it was you. Unless that was me… I know it was one of the beautiful blondes, and I think really don't think it was me--"

"It was me," Bridgette said, blushing a bit. "And beautiful?"

"Duh," Lindsay said, beaming. "And I know we're not really in the forest, but we are lost somewhere, and I realized you were probably afraid when you woke up."

"And you call yourself stupid," Bridgette said, shaking her head. "You really shouldn't do that."

"And you call yourself ugly," Lindsay said. "I mean, Beth's kind of ugly, but she's really pretty on the inside, and… she's going to see this, isn't she?" Lindsay slapped her face. "That was stupid. I'm really sorry Beth! You're really great and any guy would be lucky to have you!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: Yeah, we're going to edit all of that out later on that came after "Beth's kind of ugly." We originally cast Lindsay for two reasons. One, well, look at her! And two, we thought she and Heather were going to be bitter rivals, trying to outdo each other. We were really expecting Lindsay to be a lot bitchier than she turned out to be. (Chris shrugs.) Then again, she's still hot.

* * *

"I know I'm not ugly," Bridgette said, looking down a bit. "I just know that I'm plain. You and Heather and Courtney are all so meticulous about how you look, and--"

"Meta what?" Lindsay asked, rubbing her forehead. "I can't even understand an easy word other teenagers understand."

"I just mean you three take such great care to make sure you look your best," Bridgette said.

Lindsay grabbed a chunk of Bridgette's ponytail, hurting her. "Sorry about that, but I wanted you to look at this. It's so pretty, and you probably don't even use any chemicals in it. That would make it even prettier, though."

"I'll pass," Bridgette said, giggling a bit.

"This works for you, though. You can get away with this! My hair is hideous if I can't take care of it every day!"

"Your hair looks fine now," Bridgette said, smiling. "Unless Chris sent over your hair care with you over here."

"It won't look good for very long," Lindsay said. "You will, though. You're beautiful."

Bridgette smirked. "I don't know if I can trust that coming from you, since you supposedly don't know anything."

Lindsay smirked back. "Maybe I do know something."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Lindsay: It's so confusing. Bridgette saying I'm smart, Courtney, Heather, Tyler, and a whole bunch of other people here telling me that I'm smart, but no one back home says I'm smart. (Lindsay shrugs, looking confused.) Who am I supposed to believe?

* * *

"Tyler!" Lindsay exclaimed as Tyler was waking up, though she quickly looked embarrassed. "I mean, Tyler!" Lindsay whispered, as she rushed up to glomp him.

"You're awfully perky this morning," Tyler said. "Got something planned?"

"Yeah," Lindsay said. "Try to figure out how to get back to the camp."

Tyler looked confused. "I don't get it."

"We're not at Camp Wawawa… Wawa… whatever it's called anymore!"

Tyler drearily looked around, confused. "Where--where are we?"

"I don't know," Lindsay said. "I think we're supposed to try to find our way back, though. You take care of Bridgette."

"Take care… what?" Tyler asked, still confused.

"She needs someone to stay here with her," Lindsay said, serious. "She's afraid of being left alone here. I'm going to try to find the way back."

"What if you get lost?" Tyler asked, tearing up a little.

"I'll find my way back," Lindsay said, smiling serenely. "I'll mark the ground so I can find my way back."

"That's really smart of you, babe," Tyler said, smiling. Lindsay pulled him closer and started kissing passionately, and Tyler followed suit.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Bridgette: I'd have been terrified to do what Lindsay was doing, going out on her own to try to find the camp. I really hope she's OK.

* * *

"Thank you," Bridgette said, as she and Tyler were watching the sun rise. "I know it's silly, but being lost and all alone is just terrifying for me."

"It's not that silly," Tyler said. "I don't think most people like being lost and alone."

Bridgette smiled as she shook her head. "I'm such a big baby about it, though," she said playfully.

"Everyone's scared of something," Tyler said. "Even Courtney was afraid of something."

"I don't think I'll ever understand the green jelly thing," Bridgette said. "Or your chicken thing."

"Don't start that again," Tyler said, sounding a bit irritated.

"What?" Bridgette asked, confused. "Weren't you afraid of--"

"La la la, I'm not listening!" Tyler yelled.

Bridgette quickly put her hand over his mouth, looking nervous. "You're going to wake everyone else up!" Bridgette took her hand off of his mouth nervously. "Could you please be a little quieter?"

"Can you not make fun of me?" Tyler asked, a bit irritated.

"Of course I won't make fun of you," Bridgette said, confused. "I wouldn't do that."

"You did," Tyler said, serious, then used finger quotes. "'I guess he won't be flying high tonight.'"

Bridgette looked confused for a moment, then embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I was just playin' with ya'." Bridgette gave Tyler's arm a light punch. "A little friendly ribbing, you know?"

"Didn't feel like it," Tyler said.

"I'm sorry," Bridgette said. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Guess I wasn't thinking." Bridgette grinned wide. "I'm a blonde! Force of habit. Lindsay has my back on that one."

"OK," Tyler said. "Promise you won't make fun if I tell.""Cross my heart," Bridgette said, raising her right hand, then grinned as she started singing. "Hope to die! May lightning strike me if I'm telling a lie!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Bridgette: That was never my favorite song, but a close friend used to love it, and hearing Lindsay sing it--sort of--it just came back to me, and I couldn't resist doing that. (Bridgette chuckles for a moment, then composes herself.) OK, I'm sure Zack Werner would've told me how that was the worst thing he's ever heard, but I think I sing decent.

* * *

"Chris probably has cameras here, though," Bridgette said, nervous. "Now, I don't know how embarrassing the story is, but you might not want to share it with the whole world."

"It's OK," Tyler said. "If someone wants to make fun of me for it back home, I can pummel 'em, I can!"

Bridgette chuckled. "I'm really not sure that you can."

Tyler sighed. "Probably. But I can still take on my little brother if he teases me! He may be mean, but I've still got a size advantage over his little six-year-old butt!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: Oh come on! I wanted to hear the chicken story so I could MST3K it! My followers would've loved me for it! (Chris crosses his arms with a pouty look on his face.) Party pooper.

* * *

"We need a shelter of some sort," Katie stated, shortly after being told of the situation. "I've seen them on TV. It can't be that hard, right?"

"I really wouldn't know," Bridgette said. "I know I'm supposed to be nature girl or something, but I've never had to build my own shelter."

"This'll be fun, then!" Katie exclaimed, then put her finger to her chin. "Bricks don't grow in the wild, do they?"

"I'm pretty sure they don't," Bridgette said, giggling.

"Aluminum siding?" Katie asked.

"No, not that either," Bridgette said.

"Drat," Katie said, snapping her fingers across her body. "Guess we'll have to make it out of sticks, and the big bad wolf's gonna' be able to blow our house down and eat us, oh my!" Katie giggled.

"Are there really wolves out here?" Tyler asked, concerned, looking around.

"Um… it was just _The Three Little Pigs," _Katie said, raising an eyebrow. "Though now that you mention it, I don't really know whether or not there's wolves." Katie rolled her eyes. "Thank you for making me worry now."

"I'm worried too," Tyler said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Katie sighed. "House of sticks it is."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Bridgette: You know, it just occurred to me that if Chris moved the outhouse out here, then he's definitely watching us. We know you're up to something, Chris!

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: And people say she's smart. Ha! I didn't move the outhouse there! It's a whole new one! Who's got brains? Not you, stupid blonde clone of the other stupid blonde! (Chris chuckles to himself.) Man, I'm good! I don't know how I come up with 'em!

* * *

"You kiddin' me?!" Leshawna yelled, worried, as she and Heather were talking to Bridgette and Tyler.

"That man **cannot **do this to us!" Heather shouted. "I did **not **sign up to be stranded on a deserted island. Just… a mostly deserted one."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Actually, you did sign up for it. Hey, you can ask Courtney if you don't believe me! She might not want to confirm it… or maybe since you guys backstabbed her, maybe she would want to rub it in your loser faces!

* * *

"I can't survive in the wilderness," Heather said, angry. "It's hard enough to survive in the semi-wilderness of Camp Wawanakwa, and I **completely **can't survive here."

"You said it, girl," Leshawna said, not particularly happy herself. "I don't know nothin' bout livin' off the land."

"You don't?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course not!" Leshawna shouted, looking at Heather suspiciously. "Why you think I would know anything about nature?"

"I thought you lived on the streets," Heather said, a little confused. "Isn't that like nature?"

"I don't live on the streets, foo'!" Leshawna shouted. "I live in an apartment, and it's about as far from nature as you can get!"

Heather turned red. "I'm sorry. I just thought you were poor."

"How much you think our apartment is?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow. "Believe me, it ain't that impressive. You really got a lot to learn about the real world."

"I already know the world is out to get me," Heather stated, raising an eyebrow. "I'd rather not relearn that lesson."

"I mean you be rich," Leshawna said. "You ain't struggling financially. We always have to worry if we can pay the rent for the month. We been kicked out before."

"I'm sorry," Heather said. "Do you guys need help?"

"We don't want a handout," Leshawna said.

Heather smiled. "Then we'll have to think of a plan, won't we?"

"You serious, girl? Even after everything I done to you?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "Please. It's not like I didn't deserve some of it. Key word being 'some.'" Heather winked. "My parents have connections, and I have Daddy wrapped around my finger."

"Thank you!" Leshawna squealed, glomping Heather, who smiled back.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Heather: You know, I actually somewhat hope that Leshawna can win this game. I don't really need the million dollars, but she does. I just need to do it subtly. And I can do subtle. (Heather winks for the camera.)

* * *

"Yeah, this is bad," Cody said, sitting near Bridgette, Tyler, Leshawna, and Heather. "What are we even supposed to do? Is this a challenge? If it is, what is the challenge, anyway?"

"We don't really know," Tyler said. "I'm guessing we're supposed to find our way back to camp."

"Or he wants us to die out here," Bridgette said, worried.

"Can he legally do that?" Heather asked, nervous.

"No, and we ain't gonna' let him!" Leshawna said. "Bridgette, you said Lindsay was looking for the way back to camp?"

"We're doomed," Cody said, worried.

"Lindsay's smarter than you're giving her credit for," Heather stated. "Give her a chance. She will be able to pull this out for us. She's pulled it out before when it mattered. I'm sure she'll do it again!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Leshawna: Heather's right. Lindsay has been surprising me a lot this year. Girl seems to have more brains than she looks like.

* * *

Lindsay was in the middle of the forest, taking out her tube of lipstick and marking a large rock with a large arrow. _I really need to get more lipstick after the show. _Lindsay then skipped along. Shortly after, Chef, dressed as a ninja, leapt toward the rock, took out a rag, and wiped it clean.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chef: Yeah, it was a little cruel, but it was Chris' idea! And I liked his idea this time! Little brats bug me too!

* * *

Chris was standing in front of his trailer, looking angry. "The seven stupid campers are all relaxing on Boney Island, though they don't know that. Though they might find out if they run into some of the native inhabitants there, ha ha! That'll be awesome! Almost as awesome as the little rest I'm getting from not having them here." Chris angrily pulled on the trailer door handle. "Less awesome is that I've been locked out of my trailer! Seriously what kind of sick joke is that? Stay tuned to find out who can survive the longest--or just survive, period--as well as getting to watch me beat the crap out of whoever locked me out of my trailer, next time on _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris glared at the door handle. "Your ass is mine, you hear me? Oh, you look all cocky now, but when I physically remove you from that door, I'll be laughing. Me! **You hear me?!**"

* * *

"You know, Lindsay said you were ugly," Gwen said, sulking on the couch in front of the TV at the Playa' des Losers.

"She said it by accident," Beth said, across the room, a little uncomfortable.

"But she meant it," Gwen said.

Beth sighed. "She's Lindsay. She makes mistakes sometimes. You're kinda' making me feel a lot worse right now, though."

"You guys were right," Gwen said, twitching an eye. "Heather hasn't changed, and I should've never trusted her."

"She has changed," Harold said, annoyed. "Must you be so blind that you cannot even see why you were voted off?"

"Oh, it's Leshawna's fault. I know that," Gwen said, paranoid.

"Leshawna's not why you were voted off," Sadie said, nervous, twiddling her fingers. "You were kinda' losing it."

"Leshawna was making me lose it!" Gwen yelled.

"It's really not doing you any good to obsess over Leshawna like this," Trent said, worried. "Heather was worried about you." Trent shook his head. "That still doesn't really roll off the tongue."

"Heather's tongue sure liked to roll off yours last year," Gwen stated coldly, then stood up and started leaving the room. "I need to be alone now. You people are too stupid to understand what those people did to me." Everyone stared at Gwen as she left, then at each other.

"Should… should I follow her?" Trent asked, concerned.

"You should probably let her cool down for a little while," Beth said, unsure. Everyone then heard screams of pain from Justin not too far from them. "Or maybe a little longer while."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: Yeah, I really needed to quickly edit out that apology before Beth saw it. Would've made for really awesome drama. (Chris shrugs.) Still might.

* * *

Sorry it's short… after the long wait, you were probably hoping for a long chapter.


	43. Day 20, Part 2: Could've Been

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 43: Day 20: Part 2: Could've Been**

Chris was standing outside his trailer, angry. "And we're back, blah blah blah, get out of my trailer!" Chris started violently yanking on the door, as it suddenly slammed open, smashing Chris between the door and the side of the trailer.

"It's all yours," Courtney said, sing-songy, grinning at the host as she closed the door. "I've done my business."

"You're not allowed in there!" Chris yelled. "I know that's part of your contracts! I could sue **you **for going in there! How do you like 'dem apples? Huh?! **Huh?!**" Chris was yelling in Courtney's face, though she looked unfazed.

"I'm allowed in there if I have the host's permission," Courtney stated, with her hands on her hips, very calm.

"And you didn't have my permission, so you fail!" Chris yelled. "Ha! Ha ha! Do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars, you lose, good **day **sir!"

Courtney took out her contract, and flipped it to a specific page. "It says that I need the host's permission. It doesn't say I need your permission."

"Um, I am the host?" Chris asked, irritated. "I mean, I know you guys are pretty stupid and stuff, but I still thought you were a little smarter than most of the other losers. Didn't expect you to forget that I'm the host."

"As I recall, recently Izzy was the host."

Chris looked like he'd been hit by a ton of bricks, and started muttering to himself before shouting at Courtney once more. "That doesn't count! She wasn't a real host! She was just a substitute host!"

"A substitute host is still a host," Courtney said, grinning deviously. "You can try to sue if you want, but you aren't going to win. My team at Fleckman, Fleckman, Cohen, and Grouse would love to take you down."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: Seriously, next year I need to hire some better lawyers to cook up some new contracts for the contestants, 'cause these contracts stink! Seriously, these loopholes are supposed to be for my use only!

* * *

"Izzy doesn't count!" Chris yelled, throwing his arms in the air. "When the contract says 'host,' it means 'me'! **Me!**"

Courtney shook her head, then pat Chris' shoulder. "It's too bad the contracts we've sighed specified no such thing."

"Quit patronizing me!" Chris yelled, and curled into fetal position and started bawling.

"Aww, the big bad host can't stand the useless contestants getting one up on him?" Courtney said, patting Chris' head, grinning wide.

"Stop that!" Chris yelled. "Seriously, I have these awesome ideas, and you guys just want to ruin them for me!"

"Like how you want to ruin our fun?" Courtney asked, raising an eyebrow.

"But it's my show!" Chris screamed. "Mine! Mine! No one cares about you!"

Courtney shrugged. "Well if they care about you, I guess I'll have more hate mail coming to me."

Chris grumbled. "What were you doing in there, anyway?"

"Sleeping," Courtney stated. "I was tired. Humans often do that at night."

"And why did you need to sleep in **my **trailer, anyway?!" Chris yelled. "Just to piss me off?!"

"A nice side effect, but no," Courtney stated. "I had some personal business I needed to attend to, and as I correctly predicted, you do have a working computer with Internet connection in there."

"You know I can figure out what you did on there!" Chris yelled.

"I cleared the history," Courtney said, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: OK, that makes this a lot harder. Seriously, how do those lame computer guys figure out where someone went on the online thing when someone cleared the history? (Chris chuckles to himself.) Those guys are such dorks.

* * *

Chris was grumbling, then tried to smile for the camera. "Anyway, the seven losers are still stuck on Boney Island, and--"

"You sent them to Boney Island?" Courtney asked, concerned.

"Uh, yeah," Chris said, confused, rubbing the back of his neck. "I thought you were spying on me or something."

"Sleeping, remember? And that place was dangerous!"

"I know!" Chris exclaimed. "Awesome, right?"

"But somebody could get hurt!" Courtney shouted, a bit flustered.

"Um, how little do you know me?" Chris asked, irritated. "Why did you think I would care about details like that?"

"You **are **making sure that they're safe, right?"

"Uh… something like that," Chris said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: I miss Izzy. (Chris taps his chin.) Actually, no, I don't really like her or Courtney. (Chris shifts his eyes nervously.) Where **is **that girl, anyway?

* * *

Lindsay walked over to a large rock, marking it with her lipstick. "You look just like this other rock I marked earlier. You must be like twin sisters!" Lindsay scratched her head. "Or twin brothers, maybe? It's hard to tell with you rocks." Lindsay shrugged, then walked on her way. Shortly after, Chef leapt toward the rock to remove the lipstick.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Chef: Stupid girls thinks there's boy rocks and girl rocks? What kind of stupid person believes that? Besides stupid girl!

* * *

Katie was piling some fairly large rocks to stand a large stick on its end. "It worked!" Katie exclaimed, clapping to herself.

"Making a stick stand up?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow. "Good for you."

"Be nice," Leshawna teased. "It's a nice stick. Is it some sort of game?"

"If we're all alone in this place, we're going to need a shelter of some sort," Katie said.

"It's a stick," Leshawna said, shaking her head. "That ain't much of a shelter."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Duh, it isn't finished yet. I still have more work to do on this. I can use some sticks, though, if you could help me."

"Why?" Heather asked, confused. "I mean, what's the point? All we have to do is wait this out until Chris decides he's tortured us enough and brings us back to camp."

"What if he doesn't?" Katie asked, nervous. "I mean, we don't even know what we're doing here. Would you really be that surprised if Chris just let us die out here?"

"If we all die, Chris has no more show," Heather said. "Chris likes his fortune and fame too much to allow that."

"Look, can you guys just humor me," Katie said, irritated. "Let's pretend that I'm scared out of my mind here, and would really, really like your help."

Heather sighed. "Fine. Fine, we'll go."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Katie: Seriously, we don't know how long we're going to be here, and it's in our best interests to assume that it's going to be a long time. I don't trust Chris not to leave us here. (Katie looks down.) Me, especially. I know Chris really hates me and wants me dead.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: Paranoid much, Katie? I mean, sure, if I got a free kill, I'd use it on… no, wait. I'd use it on my miserable ex-wife. A hundred dollars a month for a whole year to let her get back on her feet… I swear, I need better lawyers. (Chris taps his chin.) I really need to get the name of Courtney's lawyer.

* * *

"I'm not a fan of unnecessary work," Heather stated, picking up a stick from the ground. "Who made Katie leader, exactly?"

"I don't like doing this either, but it really means somethin' to Katie," Leshawna said.

"It'll be good for you," Heather stated.

Leshawna raised an eyebrow. "Good for me?"

"Well, you could stand to lose some weight," Heather said. "Heaven knows it's--"

"You did **not **just go there!" Leshawna yelled.

"I'm not intending that as an insult," Heather stated. "It's intended as--"

"Intent don't mean nuthin'!" Leshawna yelled. "I've heard that enough in my life, and I don't care to hear it no more!"

"I know it hurts," Heather said. "I was just thinking--"

"Can we please drop it?" Leshawna said, angry. "I'm trying to trust that you're not trying to deliberately set me off here, and that's hard enough. Can we drop it?!"

Heather sat down, and put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry."

Leshawna smiled. "Thank you."

"I was fat," Heather said, looking down. "I prefer to forget about those times."

"You was fat?" Leshawna asked, surprised. "You?"

"I wasn't always this beauty queen," Heather said, giggling a bit. "I had to work hard to achieve this figure. And I **still **don't have actual breasts!"

Leshawna giggled a bit herself, and looked down. "These are nice! I'm surprised you didn't just buy some."

"Oh, I asked. My parents wouldn't let me get them, though." Heather sighed. "I'm going to be an adult soon, and they can't legally stop me. But still…."

"Still not sure if you really want it," Leshawna said. "You look fine." Leshawna looked around suspiciously, then smirked. "And if you're really feeling bad about it, just think about Katie or Beth."

Heather giggled a bit. "You are going to hell for that one!"

Leshawna shrugged. "Probably. Really though, I'm fine with my weight. I really don't like being harped on about it, though."

"It isn't healthy, though," Heather said.

"We're all gonna' die sooner or later," Leshawna said. "Maybe I'll die at seventy-five instead of eighty. Who knows. It's all just a game of odds.

Heather smiled a little. "I suppose, but wouldn't it be better to increase those odds?"

"Not if I'm spending it all just worrying about my weight," Leshawna said. "Just not worth trying to make myself crazy over it. Maybe for you it's worth it."

"I could never be content being… well, fat again," Heather said, standing back up and going toward another stick to pick up.

"And that works for you," Leshawna said. "This works for me." Leshawna looked nervous. "Do you think I'm ugly?"

Heather looked around nervously. "I'd rather not answer that."

Leshawna sighed. "My fault for asking, I guess."

"I'm sorry," Heather said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Heather: I guess it's my fault for largely bringing up the subject in the first place, but, well, Leshawna is fat, and I can't honestly say that it looks good. I'd rather not think that, but I do. And still, it isn't very healthy.

* * *

"Hi, Miss Rock!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming at another large rock she found. "You look a lot like these other rocks I saw. It's like you have this really big exterminator family!" Lindsay took out her lipstick and was about to mark the rock, but stopped short. "Wait a minute." Lindsay looked at the rock more closely, at a small smudge. "You already have a bit of lipstick." Lindsay narrowed her eyes, and wiped her finger on the lipstick. "And it's the same--" Lindsay's eyes went wide, then suddenly grew an angry look on her face. She then scribbled a mark on the rock once more, then walked away.

Soon after, Chef came out to erase the mark, but soon had a small rock thrown at his head. "What was that?!" Chef yelled, rubbing the side of his head.

"You're knocked out now, Kyle, ha!" Lindsay exclaimed, leaping in front of Chef.

"I ain't Kyle, and I ain't knocked out!" Chef yelled.

"You're not?" Lindsay asked, then narrowed her eyes. "Oh, you're Kyle's slave who can't cook."

"I can cook, you ungrateful brat!" Chef yelled. "And I ain't no one's slave!"

"Kyle seems to boss you around, and you have to listen to him," Lindsay said, smirking.

"I'm my own man!" Chef yelled. "I don't have to do what pretty boy wants me to do!"

"Prove it!" Lindsay shouted. "Tell me where we are!"

"Boney Island!" Chef shouted, pouty.

"Where's Camp Wawawa… Wanana… where's the camp?!"

"That way!" Chef yelled back, pointing behind Lindsay, who quickly smiled, glomping him.

"Thank you!" Lindsay exclaimed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Chef: (with a blank look on his face, counting on his hand) Wait… was that the smarter blonde or the dumber blonde? Which one was which?

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: (covering his face with his hand) **Idiot!**

* * *

"These might be good," Tyler said, picking some berries with one hand, while holding Bridgette's hand with the other. "Maybe? Cody, do you know anything about berries?"

"Not really," Cody said, standing nearby.

"Those aren't edible," Bridgette said, giggling a bit. "I know a bit about berries."

"Figured nature girl might know," Cody said.

"I'm not really nature girl," Bridgette said, smiling. "I just know a bit about the land. And I know about safe berries and bad ones. Kind of have to if I want a bigger variety to choose from."

"You're less afraid now?" Tyler asked.

"A little," Bridgette said. "I'm not alone. That helps, but still, the whole being in the middle of nowhere thing, that bothers me."

"We don't really like it much, either," Cody said, then paused. "Maybe it's good that Gwen doesn't have to put up with this. I'm worried about her."

"I'm a little more worried about us right now," Tyler said, his eyes darting back and forth.

"I think it's sweet," Bridgette said. "I'm worried about her, too. She just hasn't been the same ever since Leshawna betrayed her."

"Why is Leshawna still here, anyway?" Cody asked, a bit angry. "Why did Courtney keep trying to make us all miserable by keeping her here?"

"Courtney sees another side to her," Bridgette said, putting her hands in her pockets. "She's really not such a bad person. Just made a really, really big mistake."

"And she's still hurting Gwen," Cody said, annoyed.

"Leshawna's been trying to apologize for that," Bridgette said. "She isn't still hurting Gwen. Gwen's kind of hurting herself now."

"Well, it's still Leshawna's fault Gwen's hurting herself," Cody said, angry. Bridgette sighed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Tyler: I know Cody really likes Gwen, but dude, she's taken. He really needs to remember that.

Bridgette: I'm really not sure anything Leshawna does would be good enough for Gwen. Just so sad to see. (Bridgette shakes her head.)

Heather: You know, after a certain incident--one for which it is not my place to expand on--one would think Gwen would realize how important forgiveness is. I mean, assuming her name **is** Gwen, that is. (Heather gives a knowing wink to the camera.)

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: I can't tell you how upset I was last season when we found out there was a glitch with the tapes, and we didn't actually record what Duncan, Heather, and Gwen actually did. (Chris covers his head with his hand, shaking his head.) Of all the luck!

* * *

Lindsay was on the beach of Boney Island, with a wide grin, and looked ahead to see Camp Wawanakwa in the distance. _You can do this. You can do this! DJ did it, and you can do it too! _Lindsay took a deep breath, then dived into the water… hitting her head on the ground a few inches below. Lindsay screamed in pain. _And that's why everyone thinks you're an idiot, Lacey. _After sitting down for a few minutes, rubbing her hurting head, she looked fiercely toward the direction of Camp Wawanakwa, and rushed into the lake, swimming forward.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: And for the record, Chef, Lindsay and Bridgette are both idiots, but the easy way to remember is that, as usual, the hot one is the stupider one, and the ugly one is the slightly less stupid one.

* * *

"I'm sorry that it bothers me," Heather said, picking up another stick off the ground, adding it to the already large pile she was holding in her hands. "I wish it didn't."

"You're so used to bein' mean, it's hard to turn it off, I guess," Leshawna said, also carrying her arms full of sticks.

"I was just--" Heather started, then stopped herself, rolling her eyes. "Trying to make excuses again. I need to quit that."

"I really appreciate it, still," Leshawna said, smiling. "Can't always help how you feel."

"I wish I didn't feel it, though," Heather said, looking down. "I don't like being mean. Anymore. I know all too well what it feels like to be on the receiving end of it."

"But you still can't shake the feeling that you were ugly and worthless when you were fat," Leshawna said. "I wish I could see a picture from back then."

"So you can laugh at me, I'm sure," Heather said, rolling her eyes.

"No, because I'm sure you were still pretty," Leshawna said, smiling.

"Regardless, I'm prettier now," Heather said. "Even if you don't believe I was a hideous beast back then, there is no way you would honestly be able to tell me that I was prettier back then."

Leshawna shrugged. "Maybe not. Might be better if you could worry less about it now."

"Maybe," Heather said. "I'd feel naked if I couldn't pretty myself up, though. I'm sure Lindsay would probably feel the same way. It might not be the healthiest thing in the world, but neither is overeating."

"I thought we weren't going to make cracks about that," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow.

"I was trying to make a point," Heather said. "Being so worried about looking my best isn't really healthy for me, but it makes me feel good, anyway. Your eating habits aren't really healthy for you, but that make you feel good." Heather looked up to the sky. "Maybe that's what's important."

"Thank you," Leshawna said, smiling. "I probably could stand to eat a little better, really. Just need to wait until they start making health food with actual flavor!"

"That I wouldn't mind, either," Heather said. "It would be nice to eat a slice of cake when I want a slice of cake without worrying about blimping out again!"

"Yeah, and--" Leshawna started, but quickly dropped her sticks, looking frightened, and pointed behind Heather.

"Are you OK?" Heather asked, concerned.

"Behind you," Leshawna said quietly, still pointing behind Heather.

Heather, confused, casually looked around behind her, and immediately went wide-eyed, and darted off past Leshawna, grabbing her hand. "**Run! Run! Run!**" Heather screamed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: (laughing hysterically, wiping a tear from his eye) Man, that was awesome! Felt like I was waiting forever for those woolly beavers to finally show up, but man, the payoff was so worth it, ha ha!

* * *

Courtney was leaning on the rail of the Boat of Losers, sighing. _I hope Lindsay's OK. _Courtney's eyes grew wide, then she slapped her face. _I mean, I hope Bridgette's OK too. Stupid, stupid… oh, and Heather! And Leshawna! And… who else is left? I don't want them not to be OK, regardless! This was such a stupid challenge! I can't believe Chris would put their lives in danger like this! _Courtney started looking a little guilty. _Then again, would I? I mean, Courtney, weren't you thinking of forcing the winning contestant to give you half of the winnings? No! No! I wasn't really going to do that… I am a good person! I am a good person! _Courtney looked up, and noticed something in the lake, and she squinted, putting her hand level with her forehead. _What is that? Who is that? Is that… _"Eeeiii!" Courtney squeed, then jumped into the lake, swimming toward Lindsay, who was having trouble swimming. Courtney hurried over to help her to shore.

"Thank you," Lindsay said, tired, then smiled and giggled a little. "Did you just make the Kelly and Shelly noise?"

"No, no, no!" Courtney exclaimed, laughing a bit, waving her hands frantically. "Of course not!"

Lindsay giggled more. "You're all wet!"

"You are too," Courtney said, smirking. "All my clothes are wet. I'll worry about that later, but you're OK!"

"I need to save everyone else, though," Lindsay said. "Heather, Tyler, Bridgette, Leshawna, Candy, and Kelly are all on Bermuda Island!"

"Boney Island, actually," Courtney said.

"Oh, that's even worse!" Lindsay said, scared. "Can you drive the boat?"

"No, but I don't think Chris would've just left the key in the boat," Courtney said. "What happened to your skirt, anyway?"

"I'm wearing my skirt, silly," Lindsay said, waving her hand dismissively, then looked down and screamed.

"I'll get you another skirt," Courtney said. "You can just hide in the boat for now."

"Chris is going to show me in my underwear to the whole world, isn't he?" Lindsay asked, crying a little.

"I'll try to put a stop to that," Courtney said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: I really probably should've been paying more attention to what the contestants were doing instead of taking the day off. Then I would've actually noticed Lindsay here. (Chris shrugs.) Probably not worth keeping an eye on them, still, except that I missed Lindsay in her underwear! Still, even if Courtney's lawyers stop me from airing it, I can still watch the tape myself again and again and again!

* * *

"I don't like the idea of eating a wild animal," Bridgette said, watching Cody setting up a rope trap.

"That's all right," Cody said, shrugging, tying a knot. "More food for everyone else."

"But I really don't think we should disrupt the ecosystem here," Bridgette said. "I mean, we've already gathered some edible plants."

"That's not real food," Tyler said, looking disgusted.

"It's edible, I promise," Bridgette said, looking hopeful. "I mean, I know it's not the kind of vegetables you see at the grocery story, but it's actually pretty delicious!"

"What did you call it again?" Cody asked, then shook his head. "Well, still, most of us like meat, and we'd really like to enjoy whatever this thing catches."

"Do you guys even know how to start a fire?" Bridgette asked, rolling her eyes. "You're not going to be able to eat it if you can't start a fire. And then you'll just be killing it for nothing."

"I can start a fire," Cody said, a bit irritated. "I've done it once. After a few dozen tries."

Bridgette sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "I really hope whatever you catch doesn't just go to waste."

"It'll be perfectly good--"

"**Run!**" Heather screamed, as she and Leshawna rushed past the trio.

"Run?" Cody asked, scratching his head. "But why?"

"Just run!" Leshawna yelled, right as the woolly beaver lunged toward them, and was swiftly caught by the rope trap, being flung into the air. Everyone looked in shock as the creature starting screaming.

Bridgette stood there, mouth agape. "OK, Cody, maybe that was a good idea, after all."

Suddenly, several more woolly beavers came out from the trees, and angrily looked at the five teens.

Cody gulped. "Actually, I think you were right all along, Bridgette."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: (laughing hysterically, wiping another tear from his eye) Man, it just gets better and better!

* * *

"He left the key in here," Lindsay said, smirking, as Courtney returned to the boat. "I knew Kyle would be stupid enough to do that." Lindsay looked to the sky, making a fist. "Who's the stupid one now, Kyle?!"

"You're kidding," Courtney stated flatly, then slapped her face in frustration. "Why did I not think to look--" Courtney shook her head. "Anyway, I couldn't find any of your skirts," Courtney said, a little embarrassed. "I didn't think Bridgette would mind to much if you borrowed a pair of her shorts."

"Thank you," Lindsay said, smiling, as she put on Bridgette's shorts.

"Do you know how to operate this thing?" Courtney asked, still concerned.

Lindsay grinned wide. "No, but Kyle left a book in here called _How to Optical a Boat."_

"How to what?" Courtney asked, scratching her head. "Oh, 'operate.' Why would Chris leave a book titled _How to Operate a Boat _in here?"

"Because he's stupid!" Lindsay exclaimed, laughing.

"Good point," Courtney said, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: Maybe I wanted to learn how to drive the boat! I thought it would be fun! Maybe I wasn't expecting you guys to use it to steal my boat away from me, since you weren't supposed to be here in the first place! Hmph! (Chris crosses his arms over his chest.) The nerve of some people!

* * *

"And there!" Katie exclaimed, setting up a frame made of several sticks, held up by four large sticks surrounded by several large rocks. "Just need Leshawna and Heather to get back so I can work on the roof."

"Run! Run! Run!" Heather screamed, as she and the others ran past Katie.

"Run?" Katie asked, scratching her head, as Bridgette grabbed her hand.

"Need to run--ack!" Bridgette screamed, as she ran into Katie's shelter, knocking them both down, and knocking down the shelter. Bridgette started crying. "I'm sorry, Katie!"

Katie looked fearful, then looked down at Bridgette, practically sobbing. Katie then looked furious, and grabbed one of the large sticks that was originally supporting her shelter, and started speaking in a voice that sent chills down Bridgette's spine. "No one hurts my friends." Katie ran up to the woolly beavers and sent the large stick--

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: No animals were harmed in the making of this episode. The woolly beavers were fully animatronic. (Chris looks around suspiciously.) If we edit that out, and no one sees any blood and guts, then those annoying animal people won't bother us, right? (Chris' eyes grow wide.) And edit that part of the message out! I need to edit that out, too!

* * *

Katie was hyperventilating, covered in blood, looking furious, as the other contestants just watched in horror. Bridgette broke the awkwardness by rushing up and glomping Katie. "Thank you thank you **thank you!**" Bridgette exclaimed.

Katie looked disoriented at first, but quickly let out a smile. "I didn't want you guys to get hurt." Katie looked a bit guilty. "I'm sorry I had to kill one of them, but at least the others were scared off. I know you don't like killing animals."

Bridgette let out a small chuckle. "We can make an exception this time. That was… kind of necessary." Katie smiled again, hugging Bridgette tight. "I don't think it's dead, anyway. If Chris can call for some doctors, I think it can be saved!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: **Not **happening.

* * *

"Is that the Boat of Losers?" Cody asked, looking into the distance.

"I can't tell," Katie said, squinting. "Maybe I won the challenge by getting rid of the woolly beavers?"

"That was probably what the whole stupid challenge was about," Heather complained. "Thanks a lot, Chris!" Heather shook her fist to the sky, then turned to Katie. "Still, you did good, Katie."

"It was nothing," Katie said, blushing.

"I'd better find Lindsay, tell her we're being rescued.," Tyler said, worried.

"I don't think that's going to be necessary," Heather said, smiling bright. "Lindsay's driving the boat!"

Katie's face contorted. "Wait… so… huh?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: Why am I not allowed to have a little me time? Is there something so wrong about that? Why do incredible stupid yet beautiful blondes have to ruin my personal time?!

* * *

"You guys are all right!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming as she rushed off the boat after getting it to Boney Island, and immediately glomped Tyler, and started kissing him passionately.

"We are now," Heather said, excited. "Thank you, Lindsay! And thank you, Katie!"

"Forgetting my name now, too?" Courtney asked, raising an eyebrow, then smiling and hugging Heather.

"Oh, Katie just kind of saved all our hides," Heather said, and motioned over to the bleeding woolly beaver.

Courtney winced. "OK, that's just wrong."

"Normally, I'd agree," Bridgette said, chuckling a bit. "That thing wanted us kind of dead, though, so I'm willing to make an exception."

"Oh, thank God you're safe!" Courtney exclaimed, going over to hug Bridgette. "I can't believe Chris did this to you guys!"

"I can believe it," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "Thank you, though."

"Anyway, Lindsay," Bridgette started, nervous, "are those my shorts?"

Lindsay looked down. "I'm sorry. I lost my skirt when I swam back to camp, and Courtney couldn't find any of my other skirts, so I had to borrow someone else's clothes." Lindsay started crying. "I hope you're not mad."

"What, no," Bridgette said, smiling, going over to comfort Lindsay. "You saved us! You can keep those if you want! You've earned them!" Bridgette gave Lindsay a thumbs up.

"Thanks," Lindsay said, sniffling. "I know I'd be upset with someone borrowing my clothes without permission."

"Sorry about that, Lindsay," Heather said, looking guilty. "I've been good this year, though!"

"That wasn't really the point, Lindsay, but it's fine, really," Bridgette said.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse II**

Heather: I think Lindsay and Katie need medals. Seriously!  
Leshawna: Or maybe a million dollars.  
Heather: Now, you could use that money too, I'm sure.  
Leshawna: (tapping her chin) True that. After what they done for us, though, it wouldn't be too bad a loss.  
Heather: (shrugging) I suppose not.

* * *

"OK, where's the boat?!" Chris yelled, standing on the dock, noticing a lack of boat. "Chef! Where's my boat?!" Chris looked, around, irritated. "Lousy good-for-nothing Chef, Zoe! Get the video tape! I want to see what happened!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse I**

Chris: **How dare that woman!**

* * *

Chris was waiting on the Dock of Shame, tapping his foot, furious, as the Boat of Losers made its way to the dock. "Can't believe you didn't crash it," Chris said, angry, as the contestants excitedly stepped off of the boat.

"You did it, Lindsay!" Heather exclaimed, hugging Lindsay tight. "You saved us!"

Chris was rolling his eyes. "She wasn't supposed to do that!"

"And just let us all die," Katie stated, irritated. "Some of us are actually nice, Chris."

"The whole point of the challenge was to survive, though!" Chris yelled, angry, throwing his arms in the air. "You guys didn't really survive so much as get lucky that Lindsay rescued your sorry butts!"

"Well, you didn't tell us what the rules were," Katie said, sticking out her tongue.

"It was supposed to be obvious!" Chris yelled. "I mean, why do you think I'd send you to Boney Island just to have some blonde nitwit rescue you?!"

"That wasn't the point of the challenge?" Lindsay asked, confused, scratching her bandanna.

"No!" Chris yelled. "The point was to get some peace and quiet, and thanks to you, Courtney and Lindsay, I didn't get that!"

"So we were just supposed to die out there," Katie stated flatly, raising an eyebrow. "Great idea for a challenge. And when we died?"

"Chef would've rescued anyone who was actually dying," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "And that person would've lost. But Lindsay just had to ruin it for everyone!"

"And by 'everyone,' you mean 'just you,'" Heather said, smirking.

"Shut up!" Chris yelled, stomping his foot. "Point is, you were all supposed to survive, and none of you survived out there for very long. I'd say Katie gets an A for effort, but it was more like a D-minus. Still, she's the only one of you who even gets a passing grade."

"So am I invincible?" Katie asked, smirking.

"No, but it doesn't matter," Chris said, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter because there is going to be no ceremony tonight. No votes. 'Cause right here, right now, we're saying goodbye to Lindsay. Or more like a bad bye, if you ask me."

"What? Why?!" Lindsay shouted, angry.

"She saved everyone, and she saved **you** from a lawsuit!" Courtney yelled, throwing her hands in the air.

"First of all, you're not a contestant, so get lost!" Chris yelled. "Second of all, Lindsay, you ruined the whole challenge! And last of all, you survived for a lot less time than everyone else did! It would be unfair to force someone else to leave after the **atrocious **job you did with the challenge! So no voting! You're gone!"

"But that's not fair!" Lindsay yelled, in shock. "I worked hard, and I even got dirty!" Lindsay shuddered at the thought of being dirty. "I don't even have my skirt anymore!"

"Your fault about the skirt for breaking the rules, and besides, they have showers at the Playa' des Losers," Chris said, smirking. "Last year you even said how you'd have wanted to get voted off sooner if you knew about that place, so you ought to be happy! And hey, you'll get to see your old friend Courtney again! I'm sure she'll be so… 'delighted' to see you," Chris said using finger quotes, then started chuckling to himself.

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "I guess it's because you expect her to rip me to pieces because you used my vote against Cory to count against Courtney and get her voted off."

"Yes!" Chris exclaimed, then quickly grew a confused expression on his face. "Wait, what?"

"We already know what you did," Lindsay stated, rolling her eyes more. "I don't think she's angry at me. She's angry at **you!**"

"Yes," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "Chris, did you **really** somehow miss my helping her here?!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: I guess I know **one **of the things Courtney was doing here, anyway. Seriously, can't girls mind their own business?

Katie: (rolling her eyes) Seriously, Chris, get over yourself! Think about what could've been if Lindsay didn't save us. (Katie shudders.)

* * *

"Let me go instead," Heather stated, smiling nervously. "After last season, and the bicycle race, I kind of owe her one."

Lindsay rushed over to glomp Heather. "Aww, thank you! That's like so nice!"

"Except I'm not allowing it," Chris said, shaking his head. "I know you're boring this year, Heather, but I can't just throw the rules out the window! There would be madness!"

"Don't you just make up the rules as you go along, anyway?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You guys keep freaking me out when you do that thing with your eyes," Chris said, irritated. "And that just proves there's enough madness already! We don't need more!" Chris started smirking toward Heather. "And would you really want to give up a million dollars just to be nice? I know you're stupider than you were last year, but you have to have a little bit of the old Heather in there!"

Heather shrugged. "I don't really need the money. I mean, it'd be nice, don't get me wrong, but my family can help me. They're rich."

"Lindsay's even richer!" Chris exclaimed, and started laughing. "I mean, you can't be that stupid! I mean, maybe if you said something really stupid about someone living without a roof over her head like Leshawna, I could--"

"How poor you think I am?!" Leshawna yelled, raising a fist.

"Chef!" Chris cried out, looking around nervously, then hid behind Chef when he came out from the lake, drenched, and looking angry. "Protect me!" Chef rolled his eyes, still looking angry.

"You're gonna' pay later," Chef said to Chris ominously. Chris nodded.

"I don't need white boy makin' cracks about me," Leshawna yelled.

"And I don't need you--you--youing!" Chris complained, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh no you didn't!" Leshawna yelled, then lunged for Chris, only being held back by Heather, worried herself. "I'll get you!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Not that I want to defend Chris, but I wasn't really sure what he said that last time, anyway. Is "youing" a word I should avoid? (Katie taps her chin thoughtfully.)

* * *

"Help me!" Chris whined, shivering behind Chef, holding Chef's legs. "OK, OK, how about we strike a deal?"

"What the hell you talkin' 'bout?!" Leshawna yelled.

"Well, I was just thinking that it was a little unfair to automatically kick Lindsay off the island when no one even knew what the challenge was," Chris said, scared. "And since I'm feeling generous, I will graciously allow you to take her place."

"I'll do it!" Heather exclaimed, raising her hand eagerly.

"Not feeling that generous," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "The offer's for Leshawna."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I wasn't really sure why Leshawna seemed so angry. I mean, I know she didn't like that first crack Chris made, but after that, it almost seemed like she was looking for a reason to be angry. (Bridgette sighs.) I hope she's all right. I'm worried about her.

Heather: In hindsight, I probably should've threatened Chris. Might've been able to save both Lindsay and Leshawna that way.

Chris: I'm not scared of you, Heather. You're just a power-hungry weakling without any actual power anymore!

* * *

"You scared of me or somethin'?" Leshawna asked, angry.

"Yes," Chris said. "I haven't got all day. Decide already!"

"All right," Leshawna said. "I'll do it."

"OK," Chris said, a bit shocked. "I wasn't actually expecting you to decide that quick, but whatever," Chris said, shrugging. "Boat's already conveniently here, and I know it's not your time, but bye-bye!" Chris waved insincerely, then quickly bolted off.

Chef shrugged. "Pack your things, I guess."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: I was torn. On one hand, I was definitely glad Lindsay got to stay, and winning would be good for her, but on the other hand, well, Leshawna really could've used that money.

* * *

Heather sighed, then turned to Lindsay. "I think you get to stay."

"That's what sounded… something… I think?" Lindsay asked, confused, crying a little. "I don't get it."

"After cheating you in the bicycle race last year, it was the least I could do," Heather said, smiling, giving Lindsay a light hug. "I'm sorry Chris wouldn't allow it, but you're still safe."

"I don't get why Leshawna did that, though," Lindsay said, sniffling, then turned over to Leshawna. "Leshawna?"

"Look, girl," Leshawna said, smiling, tearing up a little herself, "I've done things here I ain't proud of. Heather's not the only one who needs to make up for what she done. Time I did, too." Lindsay's lip was quivering, and then she glomped Leshawna, crying.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Between you and me, I wasn't that mad at Chris. No more than usual, at least. Thought if I put a little fear into him, that he might let me go instead of Lindsay, 'cause she really deserves to stay. (Leshawna shrugs.) Guess I lose.

Lindsay: I like Leshawna. I mean, I know she was really mean before, but she really feels bad about it.

* * *

Heather, Lindsay, Tyler, Bridgette, and Katie were waving goodbye from the Dock of Shame as the Boat of Losers took Leshawna away.

"I can't believe she did that," Heather said. "I know she could've really used that money, too."

"Some things are more important than money," Bridgette said. "I think she realized that."

"I know, but still," Heather said, trailing off a bit. "Still, I don't see why I couldn't go instead."

"Chris isn't afraid of you," Lindsay stated flatly.

"I could've beat him up!" Tyler exclaimed, pumping his fist.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Uh, no. You couldn't have, Tyler. Though it would be amusing to see you try.

Chef: Think Chris forgot about that secret challenge, if he thinks Tyler couldn't--  
Chris: (throwing open the door) That never happened!

* * *

"You did good," Courtney said, riding the Boat of Losers to the Playa' des Losers with Leshawna. "I know it was a hard choice, and you could've been a winner, but Lindsay really didn't deserve to go at all."

"I know," Leshawna said, smiling, sitting down on the boat, with her head in her hands. "I needed to do something really right to make up for somethin' I did really wrong." Leshawna sighed. "To think I was spreadin' lies about poor, innocent Lindsay just weeks ago, just to avoid this fate." Leshawna looked nervous. "You think all the losers'll forgive me?"

Courtney looked nervous. "I really don't know. I'm especially worried about Gwen."

Leshawna stood up, and looked sincerely at Courtney. "Courtney, there's somethin' that's been bothering me, and I'm really hoping you can help me fix something I done." Courtney raised an eyebrow in interest.

* * *

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel, Trent, Harold, Courtney, Gwen, Leshawna

Remaining Contestants: Bridgette, Cody, Heather, Katie, Lindsay, Tyler

* * *

To set the record straight, I do not hate Leshawna at all. Leshawna is awesome, despite the turns she's taken in this story. I was really sad to write her off, but her road isn't quite finished: she and Gwen are now both at the Playa' des Losers, after all….

And now, only six contestants remain. One of those contestants will be a million dollars richer in a mere eleven chapters! And I know who it is, but I ain't telling… yet!


	44. Day 21, Part 1: Monster Ashley

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 44: Day 21: Part 1: Monster Ashley**

"You did good," Courtney said, riding the Boat of Losers to the Playa' des Losers with Leshawna. "I know it was a hard choice, and you could've been a winner, but Lindsay really didn't deserve to go at all."

"I know," Leshawna said, smiling, sitting down on the boat, with her head in her hands. "I needed to do something really right to make up for somethin' I did really wrong." Leshawna sighed. "To think I was spreadin' lies about poor, innocent Lindsay just weeks ago, just to avoid this fate." Leshawna looked nervous. "You think all the losers'll forgive me?"

Courtney looked nervous. "I really don't know. I'm especially worried about Gwen."

Leshawna stood up, and looked sincerely at Courtney. "Courtney, there's somethin' that's been bothering me, and I'm really hoping you can help me fix something I done." Courtney raised an eyebrow in interest.

Courtney waved her hand dismissively to Leshawna as the two were riding on the Boat of Losers back to the Playa' des Losers. "I'm serious. Don't worry about that."

Leshawna looked guilty. "But I really should--"

"Really, you're doing plenty," Courtney stated, putting her hands on her hips. "This one's taken care of, seriously."

Leshawna teared up a bit. "No, girl. Leshawna don't cry!"

"I don't cry either," Courtney stated, grinning. "Seriously, though, I wish I could suppress the tears better than I do. I can't expect the real world to take a woman seriously if she's acting like the sobbing stereotype."

"I know the feeling," Leshawna said, smiling. "Already get enough flak because of my weight, and because I'm black. I don't need more of it."

Courtney chuckled nervously, then cleared her throat. "That's actually something I wanted to mention to you. Since it's inevitably going to reach you, anyway."

"What you talkin' about?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well," Courtney started, nervous, looking down at her arm, while rubbing it with her opposite hand, "we're sisters." Courtney tapped her chin. "At least I think I'm using that phrase correctly."

"Sisters?" Leshawna asked, confused. "You don't mean like same Momma, same Dad, same--"

"No, no!" Courtney exclaimed, waving her hands in front of her. "I meant more in the 'I'm also… well, kind of like you."

"Like me how?" Leshawna asked, confused. "Don't tell me you had weight problems too."

"What, no!" Courtney said, getting more flustered. "Someone else had weight problems? You mean Owen?"

"No," Leshawna said, looking guilty. "I'd rather not betray her trust. Already said too much."

"I'm proud of my dedication to my diet," Courtney said. "I plan all of my meals months in advance, and calculate what I'm allowed to eat and when, to ensure proper health." Courtney's face soured. "At least when I'm not on this stupid show, where I can't predict anything." Courtney shakes her fist into the air. "Thanks a lot, Chris!"

"Well, no one likes him, anyway, but what if you get hungry?" Leshawna asked. "Are you allowed to eat somethin' if you're hungry?"

"What, no, no!" Courtney said, a bit uneasy. "If I'm hungry and not scheduled to eat, I fast. It's for the best." Courtney smiled at Leshawna. "But it's OK that you're not as dedicated. I don't expect everyone to have my willpower."

"Can't say I really want it," Leshawna said, rolling her eyes. "I'll shut up now, anyway. What were you going to say?"

Courtney gulped nervously. "Well, I'm, well, black. Well, half black, anyway, but legally, black."

Leshawna smiled. "You know I wondered that, girl."

"I'm not a bad person," Courtney said, worried.

"I don't think you needed to tell me that," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow.

"I know what society prefers, and it is not us," Courtney said. "I'm worried about my future career, with that having gotten out."

"I can understand that," Leshawna said sympathetically. "You shouldn't have to deny who you are, though."

"Or who I don't really want to be," Courtney said, looking miserable. "I want to be a successful attorney, and have a great run in politics." Courtney sighed. "That's hard enough just being a woman. This is like a double setback."

"You really shouldn't have to be ashamed," Leshawna said, smiling. "I know how cruel people can be. I've lived it, and I don't know how much you've had to put up with, but it's not something I'd wish on--" Leshawna stopped herself short, and rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah, that was really wrong what I done to Heather."

"You've done all you can to make it up to her," Courtney said, smiling. "I think she's forgiven you."

"I'm still mad at myself, though," Leshawna said, putting her head in the palms of her hands. "I treated her like people treat me. Even though she was awful last year, she didn't really deserve everything I done to her last year, and especially not this year. And Gwen." Leshawna tried to stop herself from tearing up. "How many times I need to tell you that Leshawna don't cry?"

"But I didn't say that you did," Courtney said, raising an eyebrow.

"Heh, sorry," Leshawna said meekly. "Just talking to myself there."

Courtney looked nervous. "You said something about treating Heather the way others were treating you. I don't know if you want me to ask, but--"

"Get off the boat, losers!" Chef yelled, as he parked the boat on the dock before the Playa' des Losers. "Now!"

Courtney and Leshawna stepped off the boat, and headed toward the Playa' des Losers. "Think Gwen's gonna' want to talk, maybe?" Leshawna asked, not sounding too hopeful.

"Probably not," Courtney said, as she and Leshawna stepped into the Playa' des Losers.

"My face!" Justin screamed, covering his coffee-drenched face with his hands, running out of the room.

"I just wanted to give him some coffee," Owen said, looking guilty. "Didn't he say it was good for his skin?"

"Bad for his skin," Harold said, shaking his head nearby. "He said it was bad for his skin."

"Oh. Sorry!" Owen called out down the hallway.

"Shouldn't be," Eva said, looking irritated. "He deserves it."

"Why does he deserve it?" Leshawna asked, nervous.

"You don't remember the things Justin did?" Eva asked, raising half of her eyebrow.

"Well, yeah," Leshawna said, guilty. "It's just… I don't know--"

"She's sympathizing with him because she recognizes her own faults in him," Noah said, rolling his eyes. "Not that anyone really cares what you think."

"OK, what's your problem?" Leshawna asked, irritated.

"Aside from insulting me last season, underestimating my value for our team?" Noah asked. "Might be the whole betraying your friend, destroying a girl's hair, maiming another girl who seems surprisingly not afraid riding the Boat of Losers back to this place with you. Might have something to do with it."

"I really like being reminded of that," Courtney said, irritated.

"Look, Noah," Leshawna said, nervous, "I done wrong, and I know that. I'm doin' all that I can to try to make up for it. I'm not a bad person, I just got caught up in wanting revenge, and wanting to hurt Heather. I really did want to protect Gwen." Leshawna looked down, shaking her head. "Really loused that one up."

"And yet, you never did apologize for the jive turkey comment," Noah stated, angry.

Sadie, near Noah, rolled her eyes. "It wasn't that big a deal, and you were kinda' a jerk that day." Noah turned around, crossing his arms in a huff.

"Really, though, you're trying to make things right," Eva stated. "Justin isn't. That's the difference."

"And I'm sure that Justin personally hurt you while Leshawna didn't has nothing to do with it," Noah said. "I'm sure."

"Well…" Eva started, rubbing her arm nervously.

"It's still a valid point," Courtney said. "They both hurt me, and I can understand the difference."

"And race had nothing to do with that, I'm sure," Noah stated. "You felt guilty, realizing you got to live a life she didn't, and realized it was because you could pass in a largely white society while she couldn't."

Courtney sneered. "You're not the only highly intelligent person here. I can figure these things out myself, and my point still stands!"

"OK," Noah replied, smirking.

"Stop that!" Courtney shouted, throwing her arms into the air, then looked around. "Where's Duncan, anyway? I'd kind of like to check up on him to make sure he's behaving."

"Sure that's why you want to see him," Noah said, still smirking.

"Would you cut that out already?!" Courtney yelled.

"He's right, though," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow. "We all know it."

"Lindsay even knows it," Harold said, smirking. "Gosh!"

"Was that a crack at Lindsay?" Courtney asked, getting angry. "Even though you know that Autumn was not this evil person you made her out to be, and you're **still **going to treat Courtney like this?"

Leshawna looked nervous. "Harold baby, you really shouldn't--"

"Just wait," Harold said, nodding.

Courtney poked Harold's chest. "I'll have you know that Lindsay is a lot smarter than you people give her credit for, though I question Owen's intelligence, but Lindsay's surprised me by how much she's got me figured out, and even if she can't remember Duncan's name, she's well aware that he and I are in a relationship, and she wouldn't--"

"You said it, not me," Harold said, grinning wide.

"Huh?" Courtney said, confused.

"You just admitted you liked Duncan," Leshawna said, smirking. Courtney smacked her own face in frustration.

"Why do you have trouble admitting it, anyway?" Beth asked sweetly. "Didn't you already admit it back on _Total Drama Izzy?" _Courtney turned red, then quickly dashed off.

"_Total Drama _what now?" Leshawna asked, skeptical.

"Izzy's show," Beth said. "I'm sure you'll be a guest soon."

"Guest?" Leshawna asked, confused.

"Izzy has a show where she interviews us as tries to annoy us," Eva said, looking around. "Where has Izzy been, anyway? Haven't seen her in a while."

Beth shrugged. "Who knows? She's Izzy."

"Maybe you should apologize to Leshawna," Sadie said, smiling at Noah. "I bet it would make her super happy!"

"Apologize for what?" Noah asked, irritated. "Because I did mouth-to-mouth on Trent or something, and you and Katie made up a bizarre story for why I should be voted out because of it?"

"Are you talking about the Bridgette thing?" Beth asked, confused.

"Bridgette thing?" Leshawna asked, confused.

"I'm just surprised he'd bring up a hypothetical 'make out with a guy' scenario after the whole kissing Cody thing," Eva said, laughing a bit, making kissy faces at Noah, who looked freaked out.

Sadie rolled her eyes. "Bridgette's innocent. I know that." Sadie looked a bit embarrassed. "I mean, I know it now. I don't know why I had trouble remembering that one."

"Well, the inner machinations of your mind are an enigma," Noah stated.

Sadie was grinning widely. "So Mr. Smartypants watches kiddy shows."

"What are you talking about?" Noah asked, nervous.

Leshawna shrugged. "I have no idea what--"

"Where is Duncan?!" Courtney yelled, rushing back to the main lounge room. "He's not in his room! Where is he?!"

"I don't know?" Leshawna asked, confused. "I just got here too, you--"

"Someone else, I mean," Courtney said, slapping her own face again. "Where is Duncan?"

"I don't know," Noah stated flatly. "I'll just pull out my patented Duncan location device, since I have a keen interest on keeping tabs on him at all times."

"How much you want for it?" Courtney asked desperately. Noah rolled his eyes.

"I'm pretty sure that was sarcasm," Sadie said. "Right Noah?" Noah covered his face with his hand and nodded.

"We don't really know or care where he is," Eva stated. "None of us are really that concerned over his whereabouts at all times." Courtney sighed.

"He'll show up," Leshawna said, smiling, patting Courtney on the back. "Just you wait."

* * *

"Go away!" Gwen yelled as someone knocked on her door, as she was sulking in her bed, lying on her stomach.

Duncan walked in anyway, ignoring Gwen's request. "You really got to stop this."

"I could've been changing my clothes, for all you know," Gwen said, angry.

Duncan shrugged. "That would've been a bonus. But I'm pretty sure Courtney--"

"I'm pretty sure she would be pissed if she knew you were in here alone with me," Gwen said.

"Hey, I'm doing her a favor here!" Duncan defended himself.

"Alone in the room with the girl she thinks wants to steal you away from her," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "I'm sure she'd really appreciate it."

"Hey, as much as I'd love a threesome with both of you, that's not why I'm here," Duncan said. "It's that attitude of yours that needs work."

"I have every right to be angry," Gwen said, more irritated. "I was betrayed by people I thought were my friends."

Duncan rolled his eyes. "No, Leshawna betrayed you, and you're projecting that onto everyone else."

"Leshawna wasn't the only one who voted me off," Gwen stated.

"Ever occur to you why everyone else voted you off, though?"

"Because they took Leshawna's side over mine," Gwen stated. "Lovely how they did that."

"Or because you were going all psycho," Duncan stated. "You could've just stayed out there and showed Leshawna up by kicking her ass in the competition, but you just had to go all axe crazy out there."

Gwen turned around to face away from Duncan, tearing up a little. "She deserved it! You know what she did to me!"

"And I know what you did to Jacqueline, **Ashley**," Duncan said, grinning. Gwen completely froze, looking fearful. "Amazing what you can find online, isn't it, **Ashley Gwyneth Smith**."

Gwen sat in silence for a few minutes before speaking up, tearing up. "Please, don't tell anyone."

Duncan shrugged. "Wasn't going to. We made a promise."

"Why bring it up, then? To hurt me?"

"To get you out of this stupid revenge mindset," Duncan said. "Isn't there that saying from some old book, let someone without sin cast the first rock, or something?"

"The Bible," Gwen said.

"Well, never really read it, but maybe you should think about that. If Jacqueline can forgive you--"

"I never said anything about her forgiving me," Gwen stated, raising an eyebrow. "She probably shouldn't."

"Do you want her to?" Duncan asked.

Gwen sighed. "Yes…."

"And maybe you could realize that my girlfriend was worried about you, and the others were worried about you, and suck it up!"

Gwen smiled slightly. "I probably needed to hear this."

Duncan smirked. "So do I get a kiss?"

Gwen smiled, then threw a pillow at Duncan. "Really don't need Courtney going psycho on me."

"It'd be for a good cause!" Duncan exclaimed, as he quickly left the room right before Gwen threw another pillow playfully.

* * *

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, looking irritated, but quickly put on a large, fake smile, as he started making wild gestures as he began to speak. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _the seven remaining campers were left on Boney Island, courtesy of that lovely tranquilizer dart gun that's been so damn useful all season! The contestants were left there to die, maybe. They had to figure out how to survive, find a shelter of some sort, find food somehow, get drinkable water, avoid being eaten by the Boney Island native wildlife, and other such things, and the one who survived the least amount of time on the island would automatically lose!"

Chris' expression turned sour. "At least that was the plan. Except Lindsay the cheater had to escape the island, somehow managing to swim all the way from Boney Island back to Camp Wawanakwa, and steal the Boat of Losers along with her loser friend Courtney--still don't get why they're friends--and go back to Boney Island to rescue the other contestants, completely ruining the challenge! Lindsay, aside from cheating, had obviously survived the least amount of time on the island, and so it was only fair that she would be the one kicked off the island, except Leshawna was getting violent, and scary, and in a moment of weakness, since I didn't really want to get beat up, I allowed Leshawna to take Lindsay's place in getting kicked off." Chris crossed his arms over his chest with a pouty expression. "Even though Lindsay totally deserved to lose!"

Chris put back on his fake smile. "Now, we are down to a mere six contestants remaining, and honestly, none of them deserve to win. Lindsay's a cheater, Bridgette was supposed to be kicked off long ago, Tyler's a wuss, Heather's boring, Cody's a dweeb I'd have picked on back in high school, and Katie--" Chris shuddered at the mention of her name. "Katie is Satan. Seriously. And some people think **I'm **evil!" Chris shrugged it off. "But no matter, since you all get to bask in my glory, and take pleasure when someone gets kicked off tonight, someone who totally deserves it, coming up now on _Total Drama Chris!"_ Chris looks around.

"Why do you hate Katie, anyway?" Zoe asked, from out of the camera's range, walking toward Chris, holding a large cup of iced coffee. "I never really got that."

Chris swiped the coffee from Zoe's hand. "She's treated me cruelly ever since she got here! You need to start paying attention!"

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Of course. You were innocently picking on a seventeen year old girl, and she retaliated." Zoe shook her head. "Totally deserves your unending wrath."

"Now you're getting it!" Chris shouted, irritated. "Didn't take your sister this long to figure it out!" Zoe sighed.

* * *

_Lindsay was in her room, watching Total Drama Island, narrowing her eyes. "What is with Corinne? She's mean, then she's nice, and seems really confused." Lindsay sighed. "Like me. But more smartical. Brooke likes her, and she's really nice." Lindsay tapped her chin. "I wonder if she dyes her hair, too? People don't have natural blonde hair, do they?"_

"_Lindsay," her mother called, knocking on her door. "Are you all right?"_

"_Yes, Mommy," Lindsay answered. "I'm trying to figure out that Total Drama thing. If I have to go back on, I need to figure out how to win this time!"_

_Lindsay's mother walked into the room. "Just be careful, dear. You know what happened last year with Heather."_

_Lindsay rolled her eyes. "I know, Mommy. I know she can't be trusted, and no matter what she says, I shouldn't believe her. I won't, I promise!" Lindsay started giggling. "I can't wait to see Trent again!"_

"_Tyler, honey," the mother said. "That was your boy's name. And be careful around him!"_

"_I will," Lindsay said, then looked at the television screen, with Courtney and Duncan in the boathouse. "Mommy, what do you think of her?"_

"_Courtney?" the mother asked. "She's just like Heather. She'll take advantage of you, boss you around, and you won't realize it until it's too late. I'd stay away from her."_

"_Oh," Lindsay said, looking down. "I thought she seemed like a good leader who had trouble relating to other people her own age. Like someone who needed some help."_

"_She's trouble," the mother said. "She doesn't care about anyone but herself. You don't need someone like that."_

"_What about Brooke, though," Lindsay asked, trying to figure things out. "She seems to be friends with Brooke."_

"_Brooke?" the mother asked. "Do you mean Beth or Bridgette?"_

_Lindsay looked confused. "Beth didn't wear a blue hoodie, so I think I mean Brittney."_

"_Bridgette," the mother answered. "Courtney and Bridgette weren't friends."_

"_They weren't?" Lindsay asked, confused. "They seemed to like each other."_

"_No, not really," the mother said. "She doesn't have friends, nor does she want friends. She's a selfish girl, and I really want you to stay away from her as much as you can."_

_Lindsay sighed. "I guess Beth was nice. Maybe we can be BFFs!"_

_The mother shook her head. "Lindsay, you're too good for Beth. She's poor, and you look way too nice to hang around her. You shouldn't lower your standards like that, honey."_

"_She's nice, though," Lindsay said, confused. "She's, like, really nice, and she has a--"_

"_It's not all about being nice," the mother said, disappointed. "Beth is an embarrassment. Your father would kill you if you brought shame to him. Almost as much as if you were close friends with Leshawna."_

"_Leshawna seemed nice, though," Lindsay said, looking embarrassed._

"_She's not the kind of person you want to be associated with, honey," the mother said. "What about Bridgette? She seems nice, she's not as pretty as you, but not not as pretty by too much, and she seems reasonably well off. She should be your new best friend when you go back."_

_Lindsay sighed. "I guess."_

_The mother hugged Lindsay, still looking embarrassed. "Trust me, you'll do great! And as your mother, I have to tell you to make sure you use protection if you're going to have sex with Tyler."_

"_Mom!" Lindsay complained. "I'm not having sex with him, God!"_

"_Just if you do," the mother teased._

"_I'm not!"_

"_But I was just saying in case--"_

"_I'm not!" Lindsay yelled, throwing a pillow as the mother left the room. Lindsay turned back to the TV, watching as Courtney was being thrown on the Boat of Losers against her will._

_

* * *

_

"Rise and shine, Lindsay!" Heather exclaimed, smiling brightly.

"Don't want to," Lindsay said wearily, pulling the covers over her head.

"Breakfast is ready, though!" Heather exclaimed, excited.

"Why are you so happy, anyway?" Lindsay asked. "Breakfast here kind of sucks."

"Usually, it does, but not today!" Heather exclaimed. "Chef isn't cooking today, and I didn't want you to miss it!"

Lindsay shot up fairly quickly. "You mean, actual food?!"

"Yes!" Heather exclaimed. "Hurry up, or you'll miss it!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: I know Lindsay, like me, is watching her weight carefully, but considering the closest thing we've gotten to real food in weeks is McDonald's, of all things, I had a feeling she wouldn't be able to help but really enjoy it, as I was.

* * *

"Oh my **God**, this is delicious!" Lindsay exclaimed, sitting in the mess hall, putting a mouthful of quiche into her mouth. "I'll probably get fat, but I don't care, I want more!"

"I'll still love you, babe," Tyler said, as the two started making out for a few seconds, before Lindsay dove back into her quiche.

"Thank you, Temperance!" Lindsay exclaimed, giving a thumbs up toward the kitchen.

"It's Zoe," Zoe said, forcing a smile.

"Where did you learn to cook like this?" Bridgette asked, enjoying a plate of hash browns.

"Lots and lots of practice," Zoe said.

"Forgive me for being suspicious," Katie said, raising an eyebrow. "Why would Chris randomly decide to let us eat actual food for a change? Something's up."

Zoe shrugged. "I would not knowingly poison you guys. Chris just asked if I could cook for you guys today, and I know you've been eating nothing but crap the past few weeks, and I thought I could do something nice. You guys deserve it!"

"Are you paid to say that?" Katie asked, narrowing her eyes.

"No," Zoe said. "I like you guys, really."

"And I like you," Cody said, smirking, and pointing in her direction.

Zoe stuck out her tongue. "And you're too young, and I dare not face the wrath of Eva. Or even more scary, the wrath of Sierra."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Zoe: Cody's cute, don't get me wrong, but he's a little young for me. And besides, I don't really want to upset this Sierra girl I keep seeing online. She seems like she might be a little dangerous.

Cody: Seriously, I want to meet this Sierra chick I've heard so much about! She sounds like the perfect girl!

* * *

"Well, you can cook for me anytime," Cody said, smirking. Zoe rolled her eyes.

"This really is good… stuff…" Lindsay said, trailing off, then collapsing. The others looked at her, worried, then turned to Zoe, who was on a cell phone… or trying to, anyway.

"My phone isn't working, guys," Zoe said, irritated. "I'll try to get help." As Zoe started to leave, though, Bridgette also collapsed. "O… K… that's weird."

Tyler, eating a plate full of eggs, sausage, and bacon, stopped eating, looking nervous. "You did poison this stuff!"

"No, I promise I didn't!" Zoe said, defending herself nervously. "I wouldn't do that to you guys!"

"Sure you wouldn't," Chris said, grinning as he stepped into the mess hall. "Why don't you fess up?"

Zoe narrowed her eyes. "You set me up, didn't you?!"

"Of course! I needed to make sure the contestants ate a decent amount of food, and there was no way I'd get anyone to eat enough of Chef's cooking." Chris shrugged. "Besides, it's not like all the food was poisoned. Wouldn't have much of a challenge, then. Only the potatoes were poisoned, so if you didn't eat those, you're all right."

Tyler looked at his plate, shrugged, then continued gouging down on it. Katie looked relieved, though still suspicious, and Cody felt uneasy about continuing the pancakes in front of him.

Heather looked like a nervous wreck, though. "I ate the quiche, too."

Chris looked confused. "Must be slow-working on you, I guess. Don't worry, you'll collapse soon enough. Oh, and by the way, you'll be painfully aware of all that's going on around you, so if I were you, I'd try to find a comfortable spot to lie down, 'cause you'll be stuck that way until you get the cure."

"Give me the cure!" Tyler yelled, pounding his fist on the table, then continued eating a piece of bacon.

"That's the challenge, dummy!" Chris exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air. "Whoever the first person to get the cure and administer it is safe from elimination tonight, as well as the first person cured, so choose who you save first wisely!"

"This isn't a stupid game!" Tyler yelled. "Give me the cure **now!**" Tyler leapt from his seat and lunged toward Chris, who shrieked and ran away faster than Tyler could catch up with him.

"How are we going to know how to get this cure, now?" Katie said, worried, crouched over Bridgette. "You OK?" Bridgette looked at Katie, but couldn't respond otherwise. Katie hugged Bridgette. "We'll fix this."

Chef walked into the mess hall, angry, on his cell phone. "Hate these new-fangled things. Anyway, Chris said that you're in search of a vial of blue liquid, and that you need to pour it into the victims' mouths. There's six of them on the island, in case he needed all six, but he's going to get rid of three of them right now. So… bye!"

Zoe sighed. "I'm really sorry, you guys. Knowing Chris, I probably should've been more suspicious."

"You're hot, so no worries," Cody said, smirking. Zoe giggled again.

"You hurt Lindsay," Tyler said, angry.

"I'm sorry, Tyler," Zoe said, walking over to comfort Tyler. "I really thought I was doing something nice. Chris doesn't let me in on these plants." Zoe crossed her arms over her chest. "Guess he doesn't trust me enough with them. Not that I really give him reason to, or deserves it."

"I can use some comforting too," Cody said, grinning.

Zoe sighed, then walked over to hug Cody. "Happy now? Can we get serious now? You three need to find those vials. I'll try to help Heather, Lindsay, and Bridgette, as well as take care of a few things I need to take care of."

"You're like the perfect woman," Cody said, smiling brightly.

"She poisoned my girlfriend," Tyler said, irritated.

"Not on purpose," Cody said.

"What if she's in on this with Chris?" Katie said. "I could've sworn I've seen her and Chris making out behind--"

"That was Emily, my sister," Zoe said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not her, and she's not mean, either. Just a little, well, clueless."

"Convenient excuse," Katie said, nodding, with her arms over her chest.

"Instead of arguing, how about hurrying up and finding this cure?" Zoe said, irritated. "I don't know how lethal this is, or what it is, even, so please, if you want to complain about how evil I am, in it all for the evil lulz, can it wait until after they're cured?"

Katie sighed. "Fine." Katie, Tyler, and Cody left, though Cody blew a kiss on his way out.

Zoe sighed, then looked at Heather, worried. "You want to get to your bed, or--"

"Rather stay here," Heather said, lying on the floor. "Don't want to leave Lindsay and Bridgette behind, especially if they're aware of everything going on."

Zoe smiled. "You're a good person, you know that, right?"

Heather smiled back. "Yes. Thank you, still."

"I'm sorry about the mean letter I wrote last year," Zoe said, a bit embarrassed.

"Mean letter?" Heather asked, confused.

Zoe rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah. It was immature, and telling you how you should die in a fire, and looking back, it was stupid to think anyone deserves that. Just got to me on an emotional level. But I wanted to let you know that you shouldn't die in a fire. Or any other way, including this whatever it is."

"Thank you," Heather said, smiling.

* * *

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame. "And there's the challenge. Three vials hidden on the island." Chris took out three vials of blue liquid from his shirt pocket. "Three extra vials not needed, and removed from the island. So who will find the cure first? And who will be rescued first? And how lethal is that poison, anyway?" Chris shrugged. "Actually, I have no idea. Didn't research it that much. I just know if anyone does actually die, I'll just pin all the blame on Zoe. She deserves it for being such a cold fish, anyway."

"You didn't research how lethal the stuff was?!" Chef yelled, angry, from off screen.

"Duh," Chris answered, annoyed. "Research takes time, and it's hard work! Research is what interns are for!"

"Did you tell any of them what sort of poison this was, even?" Chef yelled.

"Of course not! I didn't trust any of them. Well, except Emily, but I didn't tell her, anyway. Didn't want to potentially turn her off, after all." Chef rolled his eyes. "But someone will win! And if not, then I guess we won't need a campfire ceremony tonight, will we? And that would make for **awesome **TV!"

"Why do these challenges keep getting more and more deadly, anyway?" Chef asked, irritated. "If these contestants die, you don't have a show!"

Chris shrugged. "If only one dies, though, just think of the ratings we'd get! The viewers eat this stuff up!"

Chef crossed his arms over his chest. "Still think you're going too far."

"And I don't," Chris said, smiling. "And what I think counts, and I think that you'll want to stay tuned to see if anything bad happens coming up on _Total Drama Chris!"_

Chef pouted. "Still don't like this."


	45. Day 21, Part 2: Jewel of the Tyler

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 45: Day 21: Part 2: Jewel of the Tyler**

"How are we supposed to find this freaking cure, anyway?!" Katie yelled, scaring Cody and Tyler a bit, as they were searching the campfire area.

"Screaming isn't really going to help us find it," Cody said, nervous.

"I'm sorry that I'm worried about our friends dying!" Katie yelled.

"We're worried, too," Cody said, nervous as before. "Just less, well, loud."

"Yeah," Tyler agreed. "Lindsay's in danger too, and I'd do anything for her!"

"And apparently you don't care about Bridgette or Heather," Katie said, irritated. "Bridgette's like the sweetest person ever! Oh, and Heather's nice too! Oh, and Lindsay, too!"

"I don't want them to die either, you know," Tyler said, a bit irritated.

"Would it be that bad if Heather died?" Cody asked. "I mean, after everything she's done to us--"

"That's horrible!" Katie yelled, taking Cody by the shoulders and shaking him. "How can you even think such a thing?!"

"It was a joke," Cody said, getting more worried about his present company. "I mean, as much as I don't like Heather for everything she's done to Gwen, I'd settle for a nice prison term for her."

"Is that why you hate Heather?" Katie asked, blinking. "Because of what she did to Gwen?"

"Among other reasons, but that's the big one," Cody said, looking around nervously. "I mean, I really care about Gwen, and I really hate all the things Heather did to her."

"**They're friends, you idiot!**" Katie screamed, throwing her hands into the air in frustration. "They **like **each other now!"

"Guys?" Tyler asked, nervous, looking around.

"So that's why Heather voted her off," Cody said, nodding, not believing. "Because she cared about Gwen."

"I voted for Gwen too!" Katie yelled, slapping her own face.

"You betrayed Gwen?!" Cody yelled back, getting angrier.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (blinking) I think Cody has short-term memory. I kind of remember him voting off Gwen, too.

Tyler: I could've sworn Cody voted for Gwen, too. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong?

* * *

"Guys, seriously," Tyler said, irritated.

"I didn't betray her, the show was killing her!" Katie yelled. "Don't you get it?!"

"Being around Leshawna and Heather was killing her," Cody said. "You need to remove the problem, not the victim!"

"Gwen was her own victim," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "And she was getting along with Heather, you seem to forget."

"Heather was tricking her!" Cody yelled. "That's what she does! She fools people into believing she's nice and stuff, and then she strikes!"

"She's not that good at it," Katie said. "She was only able to trick Beth last year because she was desperate, and Lindsay because she was stupid."

"Lindsay's not stupid!" Tyler yelled.

Katie sighed. "Well, she was tricked by Heather, and hardly anyone else was fooled."

"You were pretty stupid last year, too," Tyler said, angry.

Katie gasped. "I was not stupid!"

"All you and Sadie did was 'eeeiii' this and 'eeeiii' that," Tyler said, in a mocking voice for the squeeing while waving his hands and putting an odd smile on his face while saying it.

"We were happy!" Katie insisted, stomping her foot. "Being happy is not stupid! I was with my best friend! Why shouldn't I have been happy?!"

"What about when you and Sadie got lost in the woods?" Tyler asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I don't have a good sense of direction, OK?!" Katie yelled. "It's not like you're perfect at everything, Mister Sporto Who Sucks At Sports!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (grinning) I like that! I really need to update Tyler's stereotype on the website. (Chris strokes his chin.) Or get someone else to update. Hmlt or whatever it's called is really hard. Like, what's with all of those stupid things that look like pointy parentheses?

* * *

Tyler started tearing up, then collapsed to the ground, sobbing.

Katie looked concerned, and knelt down to Tyler. "Are you OK? I'm, like, so so sorry for that! It's just that you and Cody were… never mind, I'm sorry." Katie hugged Tyler gently.

Cody sniffled. "Aww, can I get a hug, too?"

Katie turned around to face Cody nervously. "Did I hurt--I'm sorry, Cody."

Cody shrugged. "Not really. I just wanted a hug from a cute girl."

Katie smiled and giggled, and went over to hug Cody. "Gonna' make Gwen and Beth and Eva jealous, but what can I say? I like being called a cute girl!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I just wish more people called Sadie a cute girl, too. I mean, yeah, she's a teensy bit overweight, but she's still really, really pretty!

Chris: (shaking his head) No, Sadie is disgusting! Seriously, how much does she eat? Ever hear of a diet? I mean, geez! At least Leshawna doesn't shove her stomach flabs in everyone's face!

Katie: It never really seemed fair. I mean, Sadie eats a lot, but I eat worse than she does, since I'm not really worried about dieting, yet I'm one of those lucky people everyone's jealous of who doesn't ever seem to gain a pound. (Katie shrugs.) I mean, I love my good luck. I just wish I could share it with Sadie. I just don't know how to.

* * *

"I'm sorry for getting all angry, guys," Katie said, smiling innocently. "I'm just a little stressed, what with our friends might be dying, and all."

"We forgive you," Cody said, grinning.

Katie raised an eyebrow. "I was expecting something more along the lines of 'I'm sorry, too."

"Kidding, kidding," Cody said. "We all got mad, we all need to calm down and try to save everyone."

"You still insulted Lindsay, though," Tyler said, uneasy.

"She's not the smartest person," Katie said. "I'm not sure exactly how you wanted me to say how Heather tricked Lindsay last season."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (holding her head in pain, moaning a bit) Sometimes I worry that Tyler isn't aware of how stupid I am. I mean, I'm glad I have friends now who realize I really do have statistical ideas, but I'm never going to be a genius like Courtney and Nathan are. I mean, if I were more smarter, I could make this headache go away.

* * *

"Really, though, we need to find those vials," Cody said. "No good reason to fight."

"Except that only one of us actually gets immunity," Katie said, irritated.

"I thought two people got immunity," Tyler said, confused.

"One of them, and one of us," Katie clarified. "Only one of us three gets immunity."

Tyler looked confused, and just shrugged. "I can't believe Chris would do this to them! This is, like, the lowest Chris can go."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Oh, come on! Don't be such a crybaby! How is a challenge where you're **rewarded **for saving their lives more cruel than a challenge where someone was supposed to **lose **for saving their lives? (Chris puts his palm over his face and shakes his head.) I swear, these guys are idiots.

* * *

"Holding up all right?" Zoe asked, looking worried, down at Heather, was lying on the floor.

"Still OK," Heather said, nervous. "Hasn't kicked in yet. What about Lindsay and Bridgette?"

Zoe shrugged. "Wish I knew. I don't know what's going on with them. They're breathing, at least. I think they're conscious, but I'm not really sure."

"You should stick by them," Heather said. "I can't imagine how scared they are."

"Right," Zoe said, giving a quick nod, and then quickly collapsing as she started to walk off.

Heather shot up, scared, with a nervous smile. "I don't know if this matters much, but I'm pretty sure you weren't in on this. Heh? Heh?" Heather sighed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: OK, that was lame, but I meant it. I don't think Zoe's so insane as to deliberately poison herself.

Chris: (with arms crossed over his chest) Emily would've if I asked!

* * *

"Think. Don't panic," Heather said, trying to breathe deeply to calm herself. "You're still in decent shape. You can do this." Heather looked to her sides, then sighed. "Just wish I knew what to do."

Heather was starting to cry as she walked over to Lindsay, and sat down on the floor beside her. "Lindsay, you're not the smartest person who ever lived, but so what! You've been able to figure out some of these challenges that left everyone else stumped. You just have this different way of seeing things, and everyone calls you stupid for it." Heather bit her lip uncomfortably. "I did too, I know, and that was wrong. You really care about everyone else, and it's really great how you helped out Courtney this year. I think she appreciates it, too." Heather hugged Lindsay, then walked over to Bridgette, sitting down beside her.

"I know I'm not really as close to you as I am with Lindsay, but I know you care about everyone, and every thing as well. You and Lindsay both really helped Courtney, and I have to appreciate your dedication to your beliefs." Bridgette could only lie there, not responding. Heather gently hugged her, then walked over to Zoe, and sat down beside her.

"I don't really know you much at all." Heather shrugged, then smiled. "Still, you're pretty cool for one of Chris' soldiers. Maybe you could've been the host instead of him."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: That was the stupidest, sappiest thing I've seen in a spell! And our female viewers eat that stuff up like it was ice cream! (Chris shrugs.) Don't know why, but ratings are money! Except for the Zoe being host instead of me part, anyway. Seriously, Zoe couldn't host her way out of a paper bag!

* * *

Katie, Cody, and Tyler were searching the beach, with Tyler looking particularly frantic, though not really searching thoroughly.

"I'm not sure that's going to help find these bottles," Katie said, uneasy.

"Lindsay's in trouble, though!" Tyler shouted. "She needs my help!"

"I think Katie just meant we need to do a more careful and precise search, though," Cody said, also a bit uneasy.

"But we don't know how much time Lindsay has," Tyler said, trying to hold back tears. "I don't know what I'd do without her!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (slapping his face) Seriously, how did this guy survive the past year away from Lindsay?! (Chris taps his chin.) Does he even really deserve to be called a guy?

Chef: Real men cry! Nothin' wrong with crying! Tyler's still a sissy boy, but not 'cause he cries!

* * *

Cody was crawling along the sand, and felt something as he put his hand down. He looked down and lifted his hand, and saw one of the vials.

"Any luck, Cody?" Katie asked sweetly, looking in the opposite direction on the ground.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: (fidgeting) OK, I'm not exactly proud of what I did, but I knew Tyler was going to beg and plead to save Lindsay. And I really need to look out for my own well-being here. I really needed the invincibility, since I knew I had a target on my back. (Cody shrugs.) I mean, I could save Lindsay just as easily as Tyler could, right?

* * *

"Haven't found anything," Cody said, biting his lip afterward. "I don't think he's hiding anything on the beach, though."

"The forest!" Tyler exclaimed, and hurried off, leaving Katie confused, scratching her head.

"Tyler, get back here!" Katie yelled, pointing down to the ground forcefully, though Tyler was already long gone. Katie slapped her face in frustration and went after him.

"I'll be right there," Cody said. "Really need to use the bathroom, though."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Fine. I just hope Tyler doesn't run off elsewhere until you get back."

"I'll be quick!" Cody shouted as he ran off.

* * *

Katie: (crossing her arms over her chest) Tyler and Cody are both acting pretty suspiciously. They both seemed a little too eager to leave the beach. One of them **so **found a vial and isn't telling me. (Katie sticks out her tongue to the camera.)

Chris: That… really wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to find the clues which would lead them to the vials. Not just find the vials outright.

* * *

"Over there!" Tyler exclaimed, rushing over to a thick bush, digging through it, with Katie slowly walking up behind him, looking irritated. "Or maybe over there!" Tyler exclaimed, darting off in the other direction.

"Maybe you should try looking a bit more thoroughly in one place?" Katie asked, rolling her eyes. "Might help us find something."

"You can do that, but I'm worried about Lindsay, and I don't want her to die!" Tyler yelled, a bit angry.

"I… know," Katie said, getting more irritated. "That's why it would make more sense to--" Katie stopped herself, slapping her face once more in frustration, leaving a mark. "Forget it."

"I'm not about to forget about Lindsay!" Tyler yelled. "You can't make me forget about her!"

Katie sighed. "That's not what I--"

"You want me, or something?" Tyler asked, angry. "Well, I belong to Lindsay, and I'm not going to let you tempt me away from her!"

"What **are **you talking about?" Katie asked, leaving a brighter mark on her forehead after slapping it again.

* * *

Noah was relaxing by the pool at the Playa' des Losers, sipping on a drink, with Katie relaxing in pool, when Noah suddenly cringed, dropping his drink in the pool.

"Are you OK?" Sadie asked, looking concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine," Noah stated. "Just have a sudden urge to pummel Tyler when he gets here."

Sadie smirked. "I don't think you can."

"I'll have you know I'm not that weak," Noah said, pounding his chest, knocking the wind out of himself. Sadie giggled, smiling. "OK, I am, but Tyler's not exactly Mr. Muscle Pants either."

"Still stronger than you," Sadie said, grinning. Noah just grumbled in reply.

* * *

Tyler was running around and tripped over something. As he was picking himself up, he noticed he'd tripped over one of the vials. Looking around suspiciously, he picked it up and hid it in his shirt without Katie noticing.

"It's probably a stupid question, but have you found anything?" Katie asked, looking partly uninterested.

"Uh, no?" Tyler asked, nervous. "Hey, Cody's been gone a while." Tyler narrowed his eyes, darting them back and forth. "I bet he found one of the vials and didn't tell us."

Katie sighed. "Wouldn't surprise me greatly."

"You--you should go find him and confront him!" Tyler exclaimed, nervously rubbing his neck. "Yeah."

Katie shrugged, then started walking off. Tyler, looking worried, started rushing off in another direction.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: I was a little surprised trying to throw the blame onto Cody worked like that. I mean, he was just using the bathroom, but I needed to try something to get Katie away from me. I mean, I needed to save Lindsay! And… myself, from being voted off tonight. But mostly Lindsay!

Chris: (slapping his face) Seriously, you guys were supposed to find the clues to find the vials!

Chef: His own fault for making the vials so much easier to find than the clues. Seriously, what's the point of making the clues impossible to find if he's just gonna' do a half-assed job with the vials?!

* * *

Cody kicked in the door to the mess hall, breaking it, with vial in hand. "Here I come to save the day!"

"You have the vials, Danger Mouse?" Heather asked, turning around to face Cody, hopeful.

"Well, one vial," Cody said, irritated. "And that wasn't Danger Mouse. And I'm not using it on you! You can suffer some more!"

Heather rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Don't know if you noticed, but I don't exactly need it."

Cody's eyes went wide when the realization hit him. "But that's not fair!" he yelled, throwing his arms into the air. "You're like, really, really mean, and Lindsay and Bridgette are nice, and--"

"Well, help one of them!" Heather yelled, irritated. "Slam me after you save one of them!"

"But which one?" Cody asked, confused. "I mean, they're both really nice, and beautiful, and one could become invincible, and--"

"Pick one already!" Heather yelled, getting angrier. "Flip a coin if you have to! They both deserve it!"

"Someone's a little testy," Cody said, irritated. Heather slapped her face in frustration, as Cody noticed Zoe on the floor. "Wait, what's wrong with Zoe?"

"I'm guessing she was sneaking tastes of her dishes, infecting her as well," Heather said, rolling her eyes. "We'll need to use the third vial for her."

"But we can't let her die!" Cody shouted, worried.

"Duh, I know that," Heather said, rolling her eyes. "That's why she's going to get the third--"

"I mean now!" Cody yelled, opening the vial, and pouring it down Zoe's throat.

"Wait, what?" Heather asked, a bit confused, until she noticed Cody. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Saving Zoe, what does it look like?!" Cody yelled.

"You were supposed to save Lindsay or Bridgette, you idiot!" Heather screamed, waving her arms frantically.

Cody gulped nervously. "But Zoe needed help, too."

"You're an idiot," Zoe said, picking herself up from the ground. "I mean, thank you, but yeah, what Heather said. You're an idiot. And you're still too young for me."

"Don't I get a kiss for saving you?" Cody asked innocently.

Heather made gagging motions and noises. Zoe sighed, then kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you," Zoe said. "I'm sorry I had to do that, Heather, but I did kind of owe him."

"Oh, I don't blame **you**, Zoe," Heather said, glaring death at Cody.

Cody nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I'm glad the beautiful Zoe is safe. I'd… better run off. Tyler and Katie are probably getting suspicious."

"Katie already is suspicious," Katie said, leaning against the busted door of the mess hall. "And Tyler was right! You did sneak off here!" Katie noticed Heather standing, and smiled. "I'm surprised you saved Heather." Katie's eyes went wide, and she hurried to Heather's side, nervously. "I mean, no offense, Heather. I know you're like really nice now, but I didn't think Cody thought that."

"I don't," Cody said, irritated. "Heather didn't get sick."

"Oh," Katie said, confused, then looked around, seeing Lindsay and Bridgette still on the floor." But it doesn't look like you saved anyone. Do the blue stuff even work?"

"Yes," Zoe said, nervous. "It works. I just want to remind everyone that nothing here is my fault."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Yes. Of course. You obviously had nothing to do with poisoning us with your cooking."

"She was poisoned, too," Heather said. "I don't think she'd poison herself."

"Wait," Katie said, contorting her face. "If she was poisoned, and Cody had a vial to save someone with, and Lindsay and Bridgette are still--" Katie immediately rushed toward Cody, smacking him. "**What the hell?!**"

"She needed help, too," Cody said, scared, with Kate practically on top of him. "She doesn't deserve to die either, right?"

Katie quickly started sobbing, then hugged Cody. "I'm sorry, I'm just--I don't know!" Katie rushed over to hug Zoe, as well. "I'm sorry for accusing you of trying to kill us, too."

"It's O… K?" Zoe said, uneasy. "Really, I know it seemed suspicious."

Katie sniffled. "Really, you're like the nicest intern ever!"

"Not really," Zoe said, shrugging. "You just really don't know the other ones well."

"You're the hottest one, though," Cody said, smirking.

"That one's true, though," Zoe said, grinning.

Katie smacked her head. "Wait, vial! I still need to find more!" Katie was walking out the door space, while Tyler ran right to her, dropping his own vial, which smashed on the floor."

"**No!**" Tyler screamed, trying to pick up the glass shards, but only cutting himself.

"That's not going to work," Katie said, as she continued walking out.

"But Lindsay!" Tyler shouted, then hung down his head. "Lindsay's sick, and it's my fault."

"Yes, it is," Heather said, angry. "You and Cody can share that blame."

Cody smiled nervously. "Zoe didn't deserve to die either, you know."

"I really shouldn't have been your top priority," Zoe said, rolling her eyes. "One vial left, two people who need one--I'm going to see Chris about this." Zoe stormed out of the mess hall, shoving Tyler out of the way, causing him to scream as he got another shard stuck in his hand.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Zoe may not be the nicest intern, but she's the coolest, as far as I care. Some of these people can really be freaking **annoying! **(Heather strangles the air in front of her.) But I'm nice, and I can't do that unless I want to ruin everything I've been working hard for in trying to prove to everyone that I've changed. (Heather sighs.) Really hate that sometimes.

* * *

Katie was searching around Chris' trailer, looking for the third vial of blue liquid. Katie peeked under the trailer, and, sure enough, saw the vial underneath. Katie slithered underneath the trailer in the blink of an eye, and back out the other end, where Chris was waiting, pelting her with rotten tomatoes, looking furious.

"That's really mature," Katie said, looking largely unfazed.

"The original plan was to knock the trailer off its blocks while you were under there, but legal said it's a bad idea to do that when there's video surveillance everywhere," Chris said, irritated, still pelting Katie with tomatoes. "So take that! And that! And that!"

Katie sighed, casually walking past Chris, and casually kicking him in the balls as she passed, forcing Chris to fall to the ground, holding himself in pain.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: (shaking his head) You'd think Chris would've learned by now. Seriously, the boy doesn't learn!

* * *

Katie walked into the broken door to the mess hall, holding the final vial, and immediately walking over to Bridgette.

"Wait!" Tyler yelled, nervously looking around. "Lindsay really needs that, you know."

"So does Bridgette," Katie stated.

"But--but Lindsay needs it more!" Tyler shouted, worried, biting his nails.

Katie sighed, as she was opening the vial. "Look, I don't like the whole sadistic choice either, but how do I not try to save my best friend here?"

"That's Sadie!" Tyler yelled.

"Best friend still on the show, hello!" Katie shouted, irritated, waving to Tyler.

"Look, I'm closer to Lindsay too," Heather said, angry. "It's not easy for Katie, I'm sure, but it's also your fault for being clumsy with your vial!" Heather whipped her head toward Cody, glaring at him. "And his fault for not saving Lindsay or Bridgette in the first place!" Heather quickly turned to Zoe, looking sweet. "No offense, Zoe."

Zoe shrugged. "None taken."

Katie looked down to see Tyler, struggling to remove the vial from Katie's grip. Katie smirked. "Don't think that's gonna' work."

"Lindsay needs this!" Tyler shouted, struggling to get the vial from Katie, while Katie, almost oblivious, poured the liquid into Bridgette's mouth. Katie looked worriedly at Bridgette for a few seconds, until Bridgette leapt up to hug Katie.

"That was horrible!" Bridgette said, crying as she clung to Katie. "I can't tell you how much pain I was in!"

"Pain?" Zoe asked, nervous. "I mean, I was scared as hell, but I didn't have any pain, unless you mean possible mental scars.

"No, I mean real, incredible pain," Bridgette said, crying as she was still clinging to Katie. "I can't thank you enough!" Bridgette then scanned the room for Cody, and glared after finding him, whistling innocently. "And I was also fully aware of everything going on in this room."

"Heh." Cody gulped, fanning himself as he was sweating. "Zoe kind of needed help, too." Cody accusingly pointed to Tyler. "Besides, it's his fault for breaking one of the vials!"

"No!" Tyler yelled, looking around nervously, then pointing an accusing finger at Katie. "It's her fault for making me drop it!"

Katie slapped her face in frustration, then turned to Tyler with a blank look. "I **made **you drop it? Ever think it had something to do with you not watching where you were going?"

Tyler rubbed the back of his neck, then glared at Katie. "What about you not being where I'm going?!"

"You're serious," Heather stated, glaring at Tyler.

Chris walked in, clapping as he was grinning deviously. "Congratulations, campers! It looks like you have all completed this challenge. The wrong way, mind you, but still completed the objective."

"The wrong way?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You guys were supposed to find the clues to find the vials of blue stuff!" Chris whined. "And you guys didn't find a single clue!"

"So you made the vials easier to find than the clues, didn't you?" Katie asked, smirking, with her hands on her hips.

"No!" Chris yelled. "You can find a vial somewhere around a computer."

Cody scratched his head. "Were any of the vials around a computer?"

"The one under my trailer!" Chris yelled. "All you had to do was climb half-way up the thousand foot cliff to find that clue!"

"Were any of the vials that hard to find?" Cody asked, confused. "Mine was half-buried on the beach."

"I knew it!" Katie shouted, irritated.

"I just tripped on one laying in the forest," Tyler said, confused.

"Thought so," Katie muttered under her breath, then spoke louder. "And I found one under your trailer. Yeah, so what was the purpose of the clues if they were so much harder to find than the vials?"

"Where were the other two, anyway?" Cody asked.

"One was on Boney Island, and the other was in the mouth of one of the sharks," Chris said, annoyed. "I ran out of good hiding places, OK?!"

"We still need some of that medicine for Lindsay," Tyler said, worried.

"Sorry, all out," Chris said, shrugging. "We'll need to get more."

"Weren't there six vials?" Heather stated, angry. "Just get one of the other three."

"Sorry, destroyed 'em," Chris said, grinning. "Looks like Lindsay's stuck as a vegetable!"

"You're kidding," Heather stated, glaring death at Chris.

"No I'm not," Chris said, smirking.

"You are going to pay!" Tyler stated coldly, as he started pounding his fists together.

"You? Tyler? Ha!" Chris said, grinning deviously. "You couldn't hurt a fly! And not because it's against your morals, but because you're too pathetic!" Chris started laughing maniacally at Tyler.

"Really, that's cold," Katie said, glaring at Chris.

Tyler rushed over to Chris as he was laughing, and not paying attention, and uppercut Chris, who flew a short distance to the floor outside the spot where the door once was. Chris started rubbing his cheek, and looked fearful as he darted off. Tyler was breathing heavy, standing there, watching as Chris ran away, with everyone else looking upon nervously.

"That was pretty good," Heather said, winking and pointing at Tyler, breaking the silence.

Tyler's head sunk, as he walked over to Lindsay, crying over her. "I'm sorry."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Well, we have to vote for someone, and Cody really deserves it, but he's invincible. (Katie taps her chin.) Zoe's invincible too, for some reason. Don't really understand why Chris specified that to us. Tyler's been trying my patience, though, and I know he's upset that Lindsay's not well, but I am too! Does he care, though? No! (Katie rolls her eyes.)

Heather: You know, this is getting really hard. If Cody weren't invincible, I'd choose him, but since he's not a choice, I guess I'll reluctantly vote for Katie. I mean, you're a sweet girl, Katie, but I just don't really have much other choice. I can't vote for Lindsay, Bridgette, or Tyler. (Heather sighs.)

Cody: It only makes sense to vote off Lindsay. I mean, she's kind of not really able to play, thanks to Chris. Not really my fault or Tyler's fault, right? (Cody stares nervously into the camera.)

Tyler: I dunno'… Bridgette's just kind of there, you know? And she never really did apologize for the chicken thing. (Tyler sniffs.) Really, I couldn't believe she did that.

* * *

Bridgette, Cody, Heather, Katie, and Tyler were sitting on their stumps around the campfire, while Lindsay was being propped up with a large pile of rocks, as Chris ominously walked to his podium.

"Campers," Chris announced, with a serious look on his face. "There are six of you here tonight." Chris let out a chuckle. "Or more like five and a half." Chris ducked behind his podium after seeing Tyler raise his fist. "OK, OK, no more jokes about Lindsay!" Chris cautiously peeked over the podium. "OK, what about one more joke?" Tyler raised his fist, and Chris started frantically waving his hands. "All right, all right, zero it is!" Chris presented a plate with five golden trophies, in the shape of Chris. "There are five gilded Chris awards on this plate. I was really hoping to present these earlier, but the shipments just came in today. If you get an award, you're safe for tonight."

"And if we don't, we have to walk the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers and we can never come back ever," Katie said, rolling her eyes, then sticking her tongue out at Chris. "Seriously, we know the drill. Everyone watching at home knows the drill. Blah blah this, blah blah that, blah blah blah."

"Anyway, if I call your name, you are safe."

"Cody." Chris hummed the trophy at Cody's head, knocking him down.

"Are you OK?" Bridgette asked, concerned, going down to check on Cody.

"OK-ish," Cody replied, coughing a little.

Bridgette tried picking up the trophy, but had trouble, and had to use both her hands and all of her strength to lift it. "Is this thing made of solid gold?!"

Chris laughed. "As if I'd waste that much money. No, it's gold-painted solid lead! About as heavy as gold, but a hell of a lot cheaper!"

Bridgette looked nervously to Chris. "Can we just, maybe, walk up to get our trophies."

Chris shook his head, waving a finger at Bridgette. "No, Heather, think fast!"

Heather caught the trophy, but the weight still caught her off guard, and she fell to the ground as well, taking a few deep breaths. "Think I'm better off than Cody, at least."

Chris shrugged. "Not as classic as Cody's lead to the head, but good enough." Chris picked up another trophy, casually bouncing it in his hand.

"How are you doing that?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"Practice!" Chris exclaimed, as he hummed the trophy Bridgette's way. She tried to get out of the way, but tripped on her own stump, with the trophy itself conking her on the head as she hit the ground.

"Are you OK?!" Katie yelled, scared as she immediately went down to check up on Bridgette, who seemed unconscious. "I think we'd better check up on Bridgette. I don't think she's--"

"Katie!" Chris yelled, chucking a trophy straight for her head. Katie nimbly dodged the trophy, though, and smirked at Chris.

"Ha! Thought you'd get--" Katie was cut off short when Chris threw another trophy straight at her head, knocking her to the ground. Katie slowly got up, and went to check on Bridgette again. "Really, I think Bridgette needs help." Katie cried as she hovered over Bridgette. "I need to get Chef!" Katie darted off, away from the campfire area, with Chris watching, annoyed.

"She's no fun," Chris said, irritated, but took out another trophy. "I ordered eleven of them, since we were supposed to get these earlier and all, so I've still got six more of these things to use if need be."

"You didn't need to use **any!**" Heather yelled, posing threateningly toward Chris. Heather then looked like she had a light bulb go off in her head, as she quickly blocked Lindsay's body. "You're not hurting Lindsay!!"

Chris shrugged. "Relax. I'm not that cruel. I will not throw a gilded Chris at her head. Besides, she may not be getting a trophy, anyway." Chris glared at Heather, who glared back at Chris as she took her seat once more. "Tyler and Lindsay, it looks like you're being broken up. One of you is leaving us tonight."

"Lindsay doesn't deserve to go!" Tyler yelled, then shrunk back. "I mean, I don't really, either, but Lindsay deserves to go even less than I do!"

"Can't you at least wait until I declare the results before you get angry?" Chris said, irritated. "Lindsay may be getting this last trophy, after all."

"And you're not going to throw it at her head," Tyler said, narrowing his eyes.

"Promise," Chris said, holding up his right hand as if taking an oath. "I will not throw a gilded Chris at her head. And the final gilded Chris goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Lindsay." Chris took the final trophy, and beaned Lindsay's head with it, while Chris was chuckling to himself. Lindsay collapsed to the ground.

"You promised you weren't going to do that!" Heather yelled, glaring death at Chris.

Chris took a seventh trophy and chucked it at Lindsay's head, too. "I promised not to throw **a **trophy at her head. I've still got four more of these babies!"

"**Why?!**" Heather screamed, while Tyler was hyperventilating beside Lindsay, with a blank expression on his face.

"I don't know, cheating during the last challenge?!" Chris yelled, throwing his arms into the air. "If there's one thing I despise, it's a cheater!"

"**She didn't cheat!**" Heather screamed, rushing up and clawing Chris' cheek.

"Ow," Chris whined, rubbing his cheek, then noticing a little blood on his hand. "My perfect face!" Chris smirked at Heather, then threw another trophy at Lindsay, except Tyler leapt before Lindsay, and caught it as easily as if it were a football. "That was supposed to hit her!" Chris threw the other three trophies in quick succession, aimed at Lindsay, as Tyler quickly rushed to catch all three easily before hitting Lindsay, and immediately threw the four trophies in hand at Chris' head, knocking him to the ground, as well as spilling things out from Chris' pockets.

Heather quickly saw the things falling out of Chris' pocket, and her eyes grew wide as she swiped the three vials of the blue liquid, and hurriedly rushed over to Lindsay to pour it into her mouth. After a few seconds, Lindsay started screaming, and holding her head in pain, looking as if she felt her head might explode.

"Are you OK, Lindsay?" Heather asked, trying to get closer to her, but Lindsay continued running around wildly, squeezing her head in agony.

"What have you done to her?!" Tyler screamed, chasing after Chris, who ran fast, but Tyler ran even faster, surprising Heather and Cody, who were watching in shock.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Wow… Tyler has actually got real athletic prowess! Who knew?

Chef: I warned pretty boy, but did he listen? Oh, no! (Chef rolls his eyes.)

* * *

"You got Chris good," Heather said, as she and Cody were semi-successful in pulling Tyler off of Chris, who was getting the beating of his life. Which was easier after Tyler collapsed eventually.

"I can sue him for that!" Chris yelled, picking himself up and dusting himself off. "Seriously, I could put him in prison for life for that!"

"So can we," Heather said, smirking.

Chris shook his head, waving a finger in Heather's face, who would've bitten it if Chris didn't pull it away fast enough. "Tuh, uh, uh. You all signed contracts. I'm allowed to do anything I want. I have free rein over all of you pathetic nobodies!"

"I'm sure Courtney can help straighten it all out," Heather said, smirking.

Chris suddenly turned pale. "Just get him on the boat." Heather and Cody looked to each other, shrugging, then carried Tyler over onto the Boat of Losers, then went to check up on Lindsay, who was still running around, screaming for her life, as she ran around holding her head in pain.

"Lindsay, I'm sorry I don't know how to help you," Heather said, feeling guilty.

"**Thank you, Heather!**" Lindsay screamed, in between bouts of incomprehensible screaming as she was still running wildly about.

"She's over here," Katie said, leading Chef over to Bridgette, still out cold on the ground. Chef picked Bridgette up carefully, and ominously walked over to Chris.

"Some some sort of idiot?!" Chef yelled, leaving Chris cowering in fear. "You gone too far here! I've read these contracts, and it don't matter what they say, you can't kill these kids! You can't just put 'you're allowed to kill the contestants' into the contracts and make that binding! Don't you know how law works, fool?!" Chris continued cowering as Chef walked off with Bridgette.

Katie was following, though stopped for a moment near Heather, noticing Lindsay running around. "Is she OK?"

"No," Heather said, crying a bit. "Go check with Bridgette, though. We'll stick by Lindsay here." Heather and Katie hugged, then Katie hurried after Chef.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Figured this was the safest place for me to end the show from, stupid lousy campers. (Chris crossed his arms over his chest, very angry.) Well, Tyler is gone. Probably deserves it. I mean, he was one of our least popular contestants, according to viewers. And personally, I like him far, far less after today. And how **dare **Heather steal those vials from me! My lawyers said it would be a really, really bad idea to kick her off for that, though, even though she totally deserves it. (Chris sighs, then tries to smile half-heartedly.) Irregardless, we have but five campers remaining. Who will win the million dollars in the end? And who will… well, not? Find out next time on our most exciting episode yet, next time on _Total Drama Chris!_

Chef: Worries me a little that it's going to get more exciting than this one. (Chef shakes his head.)

Emily: Chris tried to poison you?! No way!  
Zoe: Yes. Way.  
Emily: (shaking her head) It was probably Chef. He's pretty mean. And scary.  
Zoe: Chris is way worse.  
Emily: But he's, like, so sweet! And famous  
Zoe: (slapping her own face) Just be careful around him.

* * *

"Hello?" Tyler asked, looking around as he regained consciousness, and saw he was on the Boat of Losers, but it was still docked at the Dock of Shame. "Uh, hello? Anyone?"

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Tyler  
Cody: Lindsay  
Heather: Katie  
Katie: Tyler  
Lindsay: Drooling  
Tyler: Bridgette

Tyler: 2  
Lindsay: 1  
Katie: 1  
Bridgette: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel, Trent, Harold, Courtney, Gwen, Leshawna, Tyler

Remaining Contestants: Bridgette, Cody, Heather, Katie, Lindsay

* * *

Tyler is gone. Not really one of the more popular campers, but he got to go out in a blaze of glory, anyway.

And but five contestants remain. Each one has a one in five shot of winning one million dollars! Which one will it be? Stay tuned to find out!


	46. Day 22, Part 1: My Buddy and Me

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 46: Day 22: Part 1: My Buddy and Me**

"I'm Lindsay!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming as she stood on the Dock of Shame, standing beside Heather, rocking back and forth.

"And I'm Heather," Heather said, smiling.

"Last time on _Total Drama… _do I have to say it?" Lindsay asked, concerned.

Heather shrugged. "Just call it _Total Drama Whatever the Hell You Want. _No one cares." Heather stroked her chin. "I mean, not counting Chris, obviously."

Lindsay smiled. "Anyway, last time, Hannah was voted off, and everyone loved Hannah!"

"Hannah?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow. "Who?"

"You know," Lindsay said, nervous, "that girl who's really religious and that really mean guy hates her?"

Heather looked completely confused. "I have **no **idea what you are talking about."

Lindsay stroked her chin. "Or was it Marilee? Was she voted off?"

Heather looked completely confused. "Marilee?"

"You know, Jerry's sister, really likes Ceith…" Lindsay slapped her face, feeling stupid. "Oh, yeah. I'm not in that story."

"Story?" Heather asked, getting more confused. "Poor, poor… " Heather shook her head quickly. "This is real life, Lindsay."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (shaking her head) Don't tell Heather this is only a fan fiction. I don't think she can handle to truth.

* * *

"Why am I even standing here with you?" Marilee asked, annoyed, wearing a fashionable purple outfit, with Geoff standing beside her, shrugging.

"Wasn't Jerry voted off?" Lindsay asked, looking as if she were in deep thought.

Heather's eyes were wide open. "Who's the girl he's with?" Heather smirked at the two, waving a finger. "Geoff, you'd better not let Bridgette see you with your hot date there. Reow!" Heather playfully clawed in their direction.

Geoff reeled back. "Eww, sick!"

Marilee was making gagging motions. "He's my **brother**, for crying out loud!"

Lindsay continued tapping her chin, as a light bulb went off in her head. "Oh yeah, you're in the wrong story!" Lindsay crossed her arms over her chest, pouting. "I'm not in your story." Lindsay sniffled. "I'd be all over Trent if I were, though!"

"You mean Tyler," Heather said, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean Trent," Lindsay said, smirking. "But that's another story, one that I was rudely not invited to. In this story, I love Tyler!" Lindsay beamed once more, holding her hands together, swaying a bit.

"Why do you keep using that word, story?" Heather asked, a bit flustered. "It's real life."

"Can one of you idiots tell me how to get back to my own story?" Marilee asked, rolling her eyes.

Lindsay sighed, then took out a juice box and threw it to Marilee, who started happily drinking. "We can get some peace, now," Lindsay said, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: (worried) I think Lindsay hasn't quite fully recovered from that poison, or that knock to her head. (Heather shifts her eyes.) And I'm starting to think that poison's affecting me, too, since I saw those same hallucinations she was.

Lindsay: I'm sorry, Gwen. For some reason, seeing Marilee just makes me really, really want to make out with Trent. And I promise, Tyler, in this story, you're all mine! (Lindsay winks for the camera.)

* * *

"Can we get serious now?" Heather asked, irritated.

"Oh, yeah," Lindsay said, smiling. "Heather, Bridgette, and me got poisoned." Lindsay started scratching her head, confused. "Actually, did you get poisoned?"

Heather shrugged. "I'm not really sure? Regardless, I was there to keep watch over Lindsay and Bridgette and, as it turned out, Zoe, one of the interns, as well. Katie, Cody, and Tyler were left to find the clues that would help them find the vials that would cure us… err, well, not me, but…" Heather sighed. "Is there a way to make this less verbose?"

"Sure," Lindsay said, smiling brightly. "Just take out your backbone. I don't know why you'd want to do that, though. I think it would hurt."

"Not--never mind," Heather said. "The clues were stupid and way too hard to find, so no one found those, but the vials themselves were much easier to find. Cody found the first one, and gave it to, for some reason, Zoe."

Lindsay started singing off-key. "It's just a little crush, not like I paint every time we touch--"

"Please stop that," Heather stated. "Tyler found the second vial, and clumsily dropped and broke it, thus ensuring that either Lindsay or Bridgette was going to be in trouble."

Lindsay huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Kelly couldn't pick me."

"Katie found the third vial, and being close with Bridgette, chose her over Lindsay," Heather stated, ignoring Lindsay. "But Cody was first, so he was safe from elimination, and he saved Zoe, so Zoe was also safe from elimination."

"Wouldn't Zoe have been safe anyway?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Well, since she's not a--wait, you remembered Zoe's name that quickly?" Heather asked, smirking. "I'm impressed!"

Lindsay looked embarrassed and started twiddling her fingers. "There aren't a lot of Z names to get mixed up with." Lindsay tapped her chin in thought. "Doesn't Duncan have a sister named Zoe?"

Heather shrugged. "I have no idea."

"I think Gwen has a brother named Zoe, too," Lindsay said, smiling.

"I'm… doubting that," Heather stated, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, I know she has a brother, but I'm doubting Zoe is his name." Heather shook her head, holding it in a bit of frustration. "Focus, Lindsay!"

"Sorry," Lindsay said sweetly. "Anyway, Tyler was voted off, and I was really sad when I found out. But then Chris threw one of those stupid heavy things at my head, and you have no idea how much it hurt." Lindsay started rubbing her head. "But then Heather got some sort of cure from Chris, and then… I just… sort of… lost it. My head was hurting too much, and I kind of forgot about Tyler leaving." Lindsay blew a kiss for the camera, then waved, smiling innocently. "Sorry, baby!"

"Now, only five of us remain," Heather stated. "Lindsay, me, Bridgette, Katie, and Cody. We don't yet know what Chris plans to do with us today, and I worry about how safe it's going to be."

"Where is Chris, anyway?" Lindsay asked, confused, looking around.

"Don't know, and don't care. He did say we had a challenge today, though. Probably making sure its as torturous as he can legally make it."

"He's scary," Lindsay said, nervous.

"We'll get through it," Heather said, patting Lindsay on the back. "One person won't get through it, though, and will be eliminated in what might be the stupidest ceremony yet, coming up now on _Total Drama Heather and Lindsay!"_

"Not bad," Lindsay said, smiling. "Feel bad for leaving Bridgette, Kelly, and Cory out, though."

"You'll live," Heather said, grinning.

* * *

Gwen was nervously watching Leshawna from the entrance of the dining room at the Playa' des Losers. Leshawna looked like she was enjoying her meal, though Gwen was feeling too sick to eat herself. Mostly because she knew what she was going to do. Gwen took a big gulp, then slowly approached Leshawna, until she was standing right behind the bigger girl. "Uh, hey," Gwen said, uneasy. "Leshawna?"

Leshawna slowly turned around, looking down. "Look, I know I deserve whatever you gonna' do--" Leshawna was cut short as Chef grabbed her and ran off with her, carrying her like a surfboard over his head.

Gwen was left confused, and put her hands on her hips, raising an eyebrow. "OK…."

* * *

"Can't you go easy on me?" Sadie asked, quivering her lip, after Noah beat her in what looked like a racing video game.

"You oughta' go easy on me, too," DJ said, sitting next to Sadie, looking uneasy.

"You need to press that button to accelerate," Sadie said, trying to push a button on DJ's controller, but he pulled it away quickly.

"I can't do that!" DJ said, worried. "I might crash if I do that!"

"Then you deserve to lose," Eva said, from the opposite side of the room as DJ. "No one's going to feel sorry for you."

"Lots of people are afraid of getting into a car accident," DJ said. "It's a common fear."

"Most said people are not afraid of video game car crashes," Noah stated.

"It'll be OK," Sadie said, hugging DJ. "I'll be here to protect you for those mean ol' car crashes!"

DJ smiled, but that smile quickly left him as Chef hurried in and carried out Noah, Sadie, and Eva, surprisingly easily, and left in the blink of an eye, leaving DJ alone, shivering in fear as he watched car crashes playing on a demo for the game.

* * *

"Am too!"

Duncan stuck his tongue out at Courtney. "Are not."

"Am too!" Courtney defended, looking embarrassed.

"Are not," Duncan said, smirking.

"Am too!"

Duncan shrugged. "Are too."

"Am not!" Courtney yelled back.

"Are too," Duncan said, grinning.

"Are not!" Courtney yelled, then covered her mouth in embarrassment. "Wait a minute… what was my original argument?"

"I don't remember!" Duncan shouted, somewhat exasperated.

"Then why were you arguing with me?!" Courtney shouted.

"'Cause you like it," Duncan said, smirking.

"Ugh!" Courtney strained her body in frustration. "I do not like it!"

"Do too," Duncan said casually.

"Do not!" Courtney yelled.

"Do too," Duncan sang.

"Do--ugh!" Courtney was snatched by Chef, who was out of the room as fast as he appeared.

Duncan nervously peeked outside his room, and saw Gwen walking down the hallway, looking confused. "Gwen, did you see where Courtney went?"

Gwen shrugged, with an innocent smile on her face. "Sorry."

"'Cause I just saw Chef grab her and run out of here."

"Chef took Courtney?" Gwen asked, concerned. "A few minutes ago he took Leshawna." Gwen narrowed her eyes. "Chris and Chef are definitely up to something."

"I want to know why I wasn't good enough," Duncan said, irritated. "Why wasn't I good enough to kidnap, or whatever?"

"You really wanted to be carted away by Chef," Gwen said sarcastically.

Duncan shrugged. "Would've been with Courtney." Duncan started tapping his chin. "Of course, if you and I are the only ones here--"

"Hey, Gwen!" Trent exclaimed, rushing up to hug Gwen.

"He doesn't really count," Duncan stated.

"Shut up," Gwen said coldly to Duncan, then turned to Trent. "You're still here!"

"Yeah, but it was funny," Trent said, confused. "I was giving Ezekiel some advice for wooing Izzy--"

"I really think I should be the one giving him advice," Duncan proclaimed.

"Shut **up**," Gwen complained, turning to Duncan, then turned back to Trent. "Please continue."

Trent was rubbing the back of his neck. "Anyway, I was giving Ezekiel some advice, when out of nowhere, I thought I saw Chef carry him away, but it was so fast, like a blur."

"The same thing happened to Leshawna and Courtney," Gwen said, irritated. "**Something **is going on. Something--" Gwen stopped as she and the others heard DJ screaming, as he was running down the hall. Duncan grabbed him as he passed, causing DJ to fall.

"Somethin's wrong, guys," DJ said, looking as if he were going to cry.

"Let me guess," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "In a flash, Chef carried away Sadie."

Duncan shrugged. "Even Chef isn't strong enough to lift her."

"Duncan!" Gwen yelled.

"He did take Sadie," DJ said, still lying there, scared. "He took Noah and Eva too. I don't know what's up, man."

"Have you guys seen Beth?" Justin asked, walking up the hall. "I was going to--"

"Chef took her, probably," Duncan said, angry, getting closer to poke Justin's chest. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from her!"

"Yeah," Trent said, angry. "If you mess with Beth, you're gonna' have to mess with me, too!"

"Oh, I'm so scared," Justin mocked. Duncan laughed.

"What?" Trent asked, annoyed. "I was serious."

"That's what made it funny!" Duncan exclaimed, laughing louder.

"Duncan, that's enough!" Gwen yelled, slapping Duncan across the face. Duncan rubbed his cheek, then smirked, leaving Gwen a bit uneasy.

"Where is everyone, though?" Trent asked, worried.

* * *

"What are we doing here, Chris?" Courtney asked, looking at Chris suspiciously, standing on the deck of one of the yachts. "We know you're not just trying to be nice for no reason."

"It's not for no reason," Chris said, irritated. "We needed ten of you for today's challenge, and using one of the yachts was cheaper on gas than it would've been trying to use the Boat of Losers to get all ten of you back on the island."

"What are we needed for?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll tell you when Chef gets the last three people here," Chris said, grinning.

"I was in the middle of a game," Noah stated. "I'd really like to be getting back to that, thanks."

Chris shrugged. "Fine by me. I'll just tell Katie you don't like her anymore."

"Like she'd believe you."

Chris grinned deviously. "If she loses because you weren't there, she just might believe me." Noah shrugged and stayed put, while Chef threw Tyler, Harold, and Geoff onto the boat, and Chef himself got into the captain's room to ship off. "Now, you're all probably wonder why you're here," Chris said.

"Oh, no," Courtney said sarcastically. "I was only asking because I **didn't care at all what the hell you were doing to us!**" Courtney screamed, throwing her arms into the air.

"Yes, scream at the man," Noah said sarcastically. "That'll get us what we want."

"Maybe we should just let Chris tell us what he wants?" Beth asked innocently.

"He's Chris Maclaine," Courtney said. "That's not how he operates."

"Why do you always have to assume the worst of me!" Chris pouted, stomping his foot.

"Past encounters have taught us that nothing you say is of any value," Courtney said.

"But I mean it this time!" Chris whined. "This isn't bad this time!"

"Come on, guys," Beth said. "Maybe he's telling the truth this time."

"He is!" Chris whined. "Seriously, what is wrong with you guys?"

"You're what's wrong with us!" Courtney shouted.

"Sheesh," Chris whined, shaking his head in his hand. "Well, as you know, there are still five campers left, and they're going to need their friends for this challenge."

"So two of us are going to help each of the campers!" Beth exclaimed.

"Yes, my simian simpleton," Chris said, throwing a cookie into Beth's mouth, who promptly spit it out.

"That was a dog biscuit!" Beth yelled.

"Yes. Yes it was." Chris grew a disgusted look on his face. "Unfortunately, some of the higher-ups thought I've been getting a little reckless with the challenges lately, and didn't trust me to put the teams together. And apparently, they got in touch with Izzy, who I've been unable to get in touch with, by the way. And apparently, they're forcing me to pair up the remaining contestants with Izzy's recommendations." Chris shook his head. "I can't tell you how disappointed I am with her picks! Owen, Gwen, and Duncan are fan favorites, yet she couldn't pick any of them?! All the drama Justin could've added, and she couldn't pick him?! Seriously, did she pick these names out of a hat?!"

Courtney sighed, then rolled her eyes. "So who are we being grouped with, anyway? Some of us have more than one friend we could reasonably guess to be working with for this challenge."

"I don't know," Beth said, confused. "I really have no idea who I might be working with." Beth sat down, nervous. "I know Heather's nice now, but it's not like we're BFFs, still."

* * *

"Oof!" Bridgette yelped as she fell to the ground at the campfire site.

Katie was shaking her head. "Bridgette, Bridgette, Bridgette, you need to feel the flow! Let your soul guide your body."

"That works when I'm in the water," Bridgette said, smiling uncomfortably as she was picking herself up from the ground. "Dancing just isn't my thing."

"But it's everyone's thing!" Katie sang as she twirled toward Bridgette, then rest her hands on Bridgette's shoulders. "It's the **world's **thing."

"Is that right?" Bridgette asked, smirking.

"Oh, come on," Katie said, sticking her tongue out. "You're getting better!"

"No, I'm not," Bridgette said.

Katie tapped her chin. "It's fun, anyway! Dancing is like… dancing!"

"Maybe you should ask Heather for help," Bridgette said, putting her hands together. "I know you like hanging out with me, and doing things with me, but Heather's a really good dancer."

"I don't know," Katie said. "I mean, I know she's nice, but we're still not BFFFLs or anything, and I think she still might be a little cranky, and I don't want to disturb her and make her crankier."

"She might be able to help you become a better dancer, though," Bridgette said.

"Nah, I'm good," Katie said.

"You're both good," Cody said, pointing at the two from a short distance away. "I like seeing you dance, Bridgette."

"Aww," Bridgette said, blushing. "You don't really mean that."

"He means it," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "You're a girl. Trust me, he means it."

"I didn't say she was the greatest dancer the world's ever seen," Cody said. "I just said I liked seeing her dance."

"I think it's sweet," Bridgette said, smiling at Cody.

"If he wanted to be sweet, he'd have chosen you over Zoe," Katie said, irritated.

"I don't know," Bridgette said, rubbing her arm. "I'd have felt bad if anything happened to Zoe because of me."

"Could've saved Lindsay first, then," Katie stated flatly.

"That's true," Bridgette said, looking back to Cody, who looked nervous.

"I had a weak moment," Cody said, twiddling his fingers. "You know, some mysterious new super hot girl--"

"Super hot?" Bridgette asked, curious. "I mean, she was pretty, but I didn't really think she was--I mean, I'm sorry, Zoe, I don't mean--"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Zoe?! Super hot?! (Chris laughs hysterically, falling down to the floor.)

* * *

"Cody thinks every girl is super hot," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "Right now, I'm not sure if he's worried we're all going to team up against him to vote him off, or if he's happy to be the only boy on an island full of girls." Katie winked at Cody.

Cody smiled nervously. "Well, I know you guys are already taken, so I wouldn't do anything."

"You're taken too!" Katie yelled, throwing her hands into the air. "I saw the kiss! I was there, tied to the bomb!"

"Yeah," Cody said nervously. "There's that too, I guess."

"You know, that Chris actually tied you to a live bomb gets less and less surprising every week," Bridgette said, with a sour expression, crossing her arms over her chest.

Cody gupled. "Anyway, I'm sorry I acted a bit irrespon--no, a lot irresponsibly in the last challenge. I should have treated you or Lindsay with the vial."

"Thank you," Bridgette said, smiling.

"And Katie, I'm sorry I yelled at you for voting off Gwen," Cody said, twiddling his fingers again.

"You should be, since you voted her off, too," Katie spat.

"Yeah," Cody said, clearing his throat nervously. "Guess I was just… well--"

"Just wanting to pin the blame on someone else," Katie stated.

Cody sighed. "Yes. I'm sorry I did that. You've actually been a good friend."

"Glad you're noticing," Katie said, smirking.

Cody blushed. "And friends hug, right?"

Katie rolled her eyes. "I know you and Tyler were hugging like **all **the time." Katie shrugged, then went over to give Cody a hug, who hugged back. "I don't like staying mad, anyway." Bridgette giggled to herself.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Aww, they'd better watch out. Noah might get jealous there. (Bridgette winks for the camera.)

Chris: Yeah, Noah might get jealous. 'Cause you're stealing his man, Katie! Nody would get way more viewers than Notie!

* * *

"You have such pretty makeup!" Lindsay exclaimed, as she was putting mascara on with Heather watching nearby. "I'm so happy you actually let me use it this year!"

"Well, we're real friends this year," Heather said, smiling.

Lindsay waved her hand dismissively to no one. "Yeah, I can't believe how stupid I was last year!"

"I prefer not to think about that," Heather stated.

"Alliance," Lindsay said, shuddering. "Such a dirty word."

Heather raised an eyebrow. "You know, alliance doesn't have to be a bad word."

"Oh, it does," Lindsay said. "Alliances mean either one person just uses everyone else, or one person stupidly writes the wrong name and accidentally sends one of us home!"

"There's no one left with a name similar to Cody, though," Heather said, smirking. "That mistake cannot happen again."

"But Chris is mean," Lindsay said, looking down. "He likes doing things just to be mean."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Oh come on! I'm not that mean! What is with everyone exaggerating just how cruel a person I am?!

* * *

"This is going to work," Heather said, smiling. "Just vote off Cody. I'm sure I can get Bridgette to agree, and he'll be gone tonight."

"Unless Chris just eliminates someone randomly again," Lindsay said, sounding depressed. "Like how he wanted to just flat-out eliminate me when I saved everyone from Bon Bon Island."

"It's possible, but not the typical order of business," Heather stated. "In the likely event of a standard vote-off, we should be prepared. And prepared to take out Cody."

"Why don't you like Cory, anyway?" Lindsay asked, while brushing her hair, looking at herself seriously in her mirror.

"I never said that!" Heather exclaimed, waving a bit frantically. "I'm just thinking about how to most effectively ensure that you and I get to the final two in this competition." Heather started laughing a bit. "I mean it this time, too!"

"I know!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming, then turned to Heather with hairbrush in hand. "You need my brush?" Heather pointed to her bald head, and Lindsay looked down. "Sorry, I forgot."

"It's not your fault," Heather said, smiling.

"I'm not that stupid," Lindsay said, irritated. "I remember how that happened. Even if you were still a big meanie, it's been a really long time." Lindsay looked like a light bulb went off in her head. "Hey, you know, I bet you'd look really cute in Courtney's hair, or in Gwen's hair!"

Heather raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting I cut off their hair and wear it as a wig?"

Lindsay looked back down. "Oh, yeah. Guess it's not really a good idea." Lindsay sighed. "I kind of owe you for making you lose your hair, though."

"I learned an important lesson," Heather said, putting on eyeliner in her own mirror. "Chris didn't want the so-called 'villain' to win last year, so he abused loopholes to make sure I would not win."

Lindsay tapped her chin. "I guess it kind of wasn't fair, but it's hard for me to say Gwen or Owen should've lost."

"You wanted me to lose," Heather said. "It's easy to say now that it wasn't fair, but I'm sure you didn't mind it last year."

"I guess," Lindsay said, holding her head. "It gets too confusing to think about hardly."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: I'm actually fully serious. I would love to be in the final two with Lindsay. Except I actually hope she takes home the million dollars. Not that I'm going to throw the game, I mean, but I really would love to see Lindsay win.

Chris: (fake gagging) Seriously lame.

* * *

Lindsay, Heather, Cody, Katie, and Bridgette were waiting near the Dock of Shame as a yacht docked there.

"What is it?" Cody asked, in awe.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Lindsay exclaimed, raising her hand. "It's a yacht!"

"I think he meant what is it doing here," Heather added.

"Such a great friend, trying to make Lindsay look stupid," Cody said, shaking his head. Heather looked irritated by the comment.

Katie elbowed Cody. "What was that for?" she whispered, irritated.

"She's Heather," Cody said, irritated. "She's still trying to demean others, too."

"I really don't think--"

"Campers!" Chris exclaimed as he walked down from the yacht, with his arms in the air. "It's time for today's challenge!"

"And how are you going to make this one even deadlier?" Heather asked, rolling her eyes. "Wrestling the sasquatchanakwa? Or the bear?" Cody narrowed his eyes at Heather upon that comment.

"For crying out loud, no!" Chris yelled. "Seriously, what is with you guys, thinking I'm trying to come up with something even more deadly?!"

"That seems to be the pattern," Katie said, irritated.

"This isn't a deadly challenge!" Chris yelled. "Seriously! My boss is making me tone it down! No deadly today! None! Zero!"

"That remains to be seen," Heather stated, glaring at Chris, crossing her arms over her chest, tapping her other arm with a finger.

"I suppose it does," Chris said, smirking as he took out a remote control, and pushed a button.

"What?" Heather asked, irritated. "Like that did anything."

"It did," Harold said, walking down from the yacht. "It alerted me to come down from the yacht to meet you, m'lady."

"Eeeiii!" Heather squeed, and rushed up to glomp Harold. "You're back."

"Only temporarily," Harold said. "To help with this assignment."

"OK," Heather said, smiling innocently, looking at Harold.

"So Heather gets an unfair advantage," Cody said, glaring at Chris. "That's not really fair."

"Stop complaining!" Chris whined, and pressed another button on his remote.

"Hi, Cody," Beth said, waving as she stepped onto the dock, and went over to hug Cody. "You're looking pretty cute." Beth tugged on one of Cody's cheeks.

"You are, too," Cody said, smiling contentedly.

Bridgette's eyes went really wide, and she started bouncing up and down excitedly. "Is Geoff on that boat?!"

"Ch'yeah, babe!" Geoff called out from the yacht.

Chris slapped his face in frustration. "Well, it was **supposed **to be a surprise, but yes." Chris pressed a third button, and Geoff came running off the yacht. Bridgette ran into his arms, and the two embraced, and started making out right on the dock.

"That's, like, so sweet!" Katie exclaimed, putting her hands together.

"For now, maybe," Heather said. "Wouldn't be if they were doing that twenty-four seven, though. We're probably lucky that Geoff was the first one voted off."

"Hey!" Bridgette complained, turning around temporarily, but then went right back to making out with Geoff, hardly missing a beat.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: Look, I like Bridgette, but the more I was watching her and Geoff going at it--  
Lindsay: (looking freaked out) I don't blame you.  
Heather: Seriously, I think it's a blessing in disguise that he wound up being the first one voted off.  
Lindsay: Wasn't Bridgette actually supposed to be the first one--  
Heather: (holding up her hand, closing her eyes) Blessing in disguise.

(Bridgette and Geoff's feet are up in the air, and we can hear plenty of make-out noises.)

* * *

"Tyler!" Lindsay exclaimed, rushing up to Tyler and glomping him as he walked off the yacht.

"Babe," Tyler said, smiling at her, and the two started kissing.

"Lindsay, not you too," Heather said, looking nervous.

"Don't worry," Lindsay said, smiling back at Heather. "Just give us a minute!" Lindsay then continued a short make-out session with Tyler.

"We could do that, too," Harold said, watching the others making out.

"Or we could, you know, not," Heather snapped. Harold sighed.

Chris pressed another button on his remote, and Noah walked onto the Dock of Shame. Katie squeed and glomped Noah. "Noah!"

"Suffocation," Noah squeaked out.

Katie loosened her grip, and looked a bit embarrassed. "Heh… sorry about that."

"If someone's going to be the death of me, it might as well be you," Noah stated.

"Your jokes are so morbid," Kate said, smirking.

"Yes," Noah said. "Jokes. Of course."

"As you can tell, you guys get some help with today's challenge," Chris said, grinning.

"Me and Tyler are so gonna' rock this thing!" Lindsay exclaimed, pumping her fist.

"That's my girl!" Tyler exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air.

"But wait, there's more!" Chris exclaimed, as he hit another button on his remote.

The other campers watched in confusion, as Courtney stepped off the yacht, with such grace it was as if she thought she were royalty. Courtney walked up to Chris shortly afterward, a bit confused. "Chris, which camper am I working with today, anyway?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Chris said, annoyed. "Izzy told me it was supposed to be obvious."

Courtney put her hands on her hips, a bit irritated. "I'm very close to both Bridgette and Lindsay, and with Heather I have become close as well."

Chris slapped his face in frustration and muttered something under his breath. "OK, how about you wait here, and we'll figure it out later.

Courtney looked at the other contestants. She waved at Heather, who waved nervously to her. She also waved to Lindsay, who was bouncing giddily upon seeing Courtney. And she tried to wave to Bridgette, though she was oblivious, as she was still making out passionately with Geoff. "Actually, I think I would rather not be paired off with Bridgette here."

"Look, I really don't know who you're supposed to be paired off with, but it's not my fault if it's Bridgette, OK?" Chris said, irritated, as he pushed another button on his remote.

"Eeeiii!" Sadie squeed, running off the yacht.

"Eeeiii!" Katie squeed, as the two BFFFLs squeezed the life out of each other… and unintentionally squeezed the life out of Noah, who was wedged between them.

"Oh my God, I missed you so much!" Sadie exclaimed, tearing up.

"Oh my God, I missed you more!" Katie exclaimed, also tearing up.

"No way, I totally missed you more!" Sadie exclaimed.

"Nuh uh, I totally completely missed you--"

"Can we call it a tie?" Noah squeaked out.

Katie and Sadie let go, and Noah fell to the ground, gasping for air. "Sorry," Katie said sweetly, helping him up, and giving him a little kiss on the cheek.

"Aww, that's like so sweet," Sadie said, looking dreamily at Katie and Noah. "And oh yeah, I'm sorry Bridgette!" Sadie looked at Bridgette, but quickly had to turn away. "Maybe later…."

"Guys, you should pay attention to me!" Chris shouted, as he pushed another button on the remote. Eva leapt off the yacht, and rushed up to Cody and Beth.

"Hi, Eva," Cody said, smiling nervously.

"So you liked Zoe, did you," Eva asked, raising an eyebrow.

Cody gulped, and started sweating. "Look, I can explain." Cody looked around nervously. "She was… well, new, and nice, and hot, and… I'm going to shut up now."

Eva nodded, then lifted Cody with ease and threw him into the lake. Eva then walked over to the edge of the dock to see Cody bobbing. "We're even now," Eva said, smirking, then bent down to help Cody back onto dry land.

"I deserved that," Cody said, smiling nervously.

"Yeah, you kind of did," Beth said. "I mean, I know it was mean, but, well… I'll get you a towel!" Beth winked at Eva, then ran off. Eva laughed a little, then gave Cody a little kiss.

"I will never understand Cody's taste in women," Chris said. "Doesn't he ever go for anyone hot? I mean--"

"**I can hear you!**" Eva screamed, raising a fist.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Eva is totally a maniac!  
Sadie: Like totally! I don't know how Cody puts up with her.  
Katie: Um, because she's a maniac.  
Sadie: I know, but why would Cody want to stay with a maniac?  
Katie: Because that's why he's attracted to her in the first place.  
Sadie: (shrugging) I don't get it.  
Katie: (grinning wide) Noah's a bigger maniac, though.  
Noah: (from outside the outhouse) **Am not!  
**Sadie: (gasps) Noah's spying on us?!  
Katie: (grinning deviously) Oh, I already knew that. (Katie clears her throat, then looks toward the door.) **I think Noah and Cody make a really cute--  
**Noah: (still outside the outhouse) **Stop it stop it stop it!**

* * *

Chris was shivering, trying to hide himself behind his remote. "OK, OK, next person." Chris hit another button, and Leshawna stepped off the yacht.

"Hey, girlfriend!" Leshawna exclaimed, strutting up to Heather, who looked a little disappointed. "Something wrong?"

"Well… no," Heather said, forcing a smile. "Nothing at all!" Heather hugged Leshawna, who hugged back.

"We could make it a three-way hug," Harold suggested. "I promise I won't complain, even if I get squished by the two most beautiful girls here."

"Of course," Heather said, bringing Harold into the hug. "That's so sweet!"

"At least not counting Gwen," Harold said. "She might come ahead of you two if I thought enough about it."

"Sweet moment gone," Leshawna said, letting go.

Heather put her hand on Harold's shoulder. "You talk too much sometimes."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Harold: I'm still learning the art of girl whispering. Girls are pretty complicated, like how they get upset if you tell one girl that another might be prettier. Of course, if I were a girl, I would be the hottest one of all, so I wouldn't have to worry about that in the first place.

* * *

"OK, so I'm obviously supposed to be working with either Lindsay or Bridgette," Courtney said, concentrating on her fingers which she was counting. "I'm still not sure which of the two it's supposed to be, though."

"I really don't know, and I really don't care that much," Chris said, irritated, then turned to everyone else. "And let's give a warm welcome to our last returning contestant!" Chris proclaimed, as he hit the last button on the remote. Ezekiel slowly made his way onto the Dock of Shame. Courtney watched and slapped her face in frustration.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: How sad is it that I couldn't even remember which one camper was left on that boat? How lousy a lawyer am I going to be one day if I can't even remember all of the people I was riding a boat with back to this lousy place? (Courtney's expression lightens.) Now, no offense to Bridgette, but the way she and Geoff were going at it, I was glad to be working with Lindsay, instead.

* * *

"Hello, Bridgette," Ezekiel said, as he walked up to Bridgette and Geoff, both making out on the ground. Bridgette waved to Ezekiel while making out.

"All right, campers," Chris announced. "Now you're all here, you've all been reacquainted, yada yada yada, time to move on to business."

"Business is hard," Lindsay said, looking worried. "How do those business people even decide what random number to make each stock worth every day, anyway?"

"That was a surprisingly accurate assessment of the stock market," Courtney stated, smirking. "It's not the business Chris was referring to, however."

"Thank you," Chris said, annoyed, as he took out a record player, and started playing a record on it.

_"Friends are there  
__To help you get started,  
__To give you a push on your way."_

_"Friends are there  
__To turn you around,  
__Get your feet on the ground  
__For a brand new day!"_

"That's so sweet," Lindsay said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"It's lame," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.

"It's blatantly ripped off from _Garfield and Friends," _Noah stated.

"No it isn't!" Chris whined. "There was nothing about partying, or lots of spaghetti, or pies of all sizes, or anything like that in the song!"

"That was the original song," Noah stated. "You were hoping we were too young to recognize it. But recognize it I did."

Chris smirked. "Well, it's nice to know that you still apparently watch baby shows since you must've Youtubed it, or something."

Noah's eyes went wide. "**I do not!**"

Katie started rubbing Noah, looking seductive. "It's OK. There's nothing wrong with cartoons."

"Except that he's a big fat baby," Chris said, chuckling to himself, though backed down after Katie glared death at him. "Anyway, this challenge is all about friendship."

"Would've never guessed," Noah stated.

Chris glared at Noah, then continued on. "Anyway, each of the five contestants has two friends helping them for this challenge, and that's to recreate a famous moment from the first season of this show, the inferiorly-named _Total Drama Island. _You must work together, but at the same time, respect the wishes of the one who's actually still a contestant." Chris shrugged. "After all, it's their butts on the line, ha ha!" Chris cleared his throat. "You'll be performing on the amphitheatre stage, and I'll be judge, jury, and executioner! The two groups who perform worst will have their leaders up for possible elimination, and one of those two people will receive definite elimination, so do this well, you guys!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: (sighing) I wish I could forget last season.  
Leshawna: It's only acting. You can pretend to be mean again, right?  
Heather: I guess.  
Leshawna: It'll be fun, getting a chance to be the mean queen bee again, I bet!  
Heather: Not really.  
Leshawna: You want to win this though, right?  
Heather: Well, yeah.  
Leshawna: Then you gotta' do it!  
Heather: (sighing) Fine.

* * *

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, and the other contestants had gone off. "So which two contestants will be up for elimination tonight? And more importantly, which one will actually be eliminated? Find out, coming up next on _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris smirked. "Like it when I don't have those annoying contestants around to interrupt me."

* * *

For your convenience, to keep track of which ex-campers are helping which current campers:

**Team Bridgette**: Bridgette, Ezekiel, Geoff  
**Team Cody**: Cody, Beth, Eva  
**Team Heather**: Heather, Harold, Leshawna  
**Team Katie**: Katie, Noah, Sadie  
**Team Lindsay**: Lindsay, Courtney, Tyler

* * *

**Marilee **is property of **Kelsica2**, used with permission.


	47. Day 22, Part 2: My Best Friends Fretting

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 47: Day 22: Part 2: My Best Friend's Fretting**

"You really want to do that scene, girl?" Leshawna asked, nervous, as she, Harold, and Heather were sitting together near the cabins.

"Definitely," Heather said, smiling innocently. "It was, after all, my crowning moment on this show, if I do say so myself."

"I wouldn't call it that," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow.

"It's fun to play the villain, though," Heather said. "I do believe I made for quite an interesting villain."

"Do we really want to celebrate it, though," Leshawna said, rubbing her forehead.

"Of course," Heather stated. "That's not me anymore, after all. And it is part of the challenge."

"I guess," Leshawna said. "I just don't know if it's a good idea."

"Chris should like it," Harold stated. "I'm sure Chris loved that kiss last season."

"It made for good television," Heather stated. "And it's not like I'm actually going to be kissing the real Trent this time."

"I shall be the best Trent I can be," Harold stated, pounding his chest, knocking the wind out of him.

"You know, Gwen's kinda' emotional right now," Leshawna said, playing with her ponytail. "It might really bother her, reenacting that scene, and I don't want you to put a bigger wedge between you two."

"Gwen doesn't seem to like me, anyway," Heather said. "I thought she did, apparently she doesn't."

"It would be nice if all three of you beauties could get along," Harold said. "I mean, I wouldn't mind going out on a date with the three of you together."

"You do know Gwen's taken, baby," Leshawna said.

"I'm sure Trent wouldn't mind as long as you were there to supervise," Harold said.

"I think Trent might be trustin' Heather more than me right now," Leshawna said, nervous.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: (tearing up slightly) No offense to Leshawna, as she's a pretty cool gal, but I was disappointed that Gwen wasn't here with me for the challenge. I'm guessing she's pretty ticked off with me. (Heather sighs.)

* * *

"I really think you should pick another scene," Courtney said to Lindsay, as she and Tyler were listening attentively.

"I really like it, though," Lindsay said, rubbing Tyler's chin, who looked giddy. Lindsay handed Courtney a walkie-talkie. "All you have to do is yell at me. And me and Tyler get to make out!" Lindsay takes out a yo-yo. "Now Tyler, you need to practice being tied up in this thing."

"Aye-aye, Lindsay!" Tyler exclaimed, saluting.

"You also need to remember not to talk," Lindsay said, waving her finger. "You talking could ruin the entire scene." Tyler nodded.

Courtney sighed, and put her hands on her hips. "Lindsay, I really think you should go with something a little more interesting than this. You and Tyler making out isn't going to rank well with Chris."

Lindsay shook her head. "It's not just me making out with Tyler. It's me making out with Tyler while twisted up in his yo-yo!"

"Of course," Courtney stated flatly. "That's what's going to make the difference."

"The yo-yo can't hurt," Lindsay said sincerely.

"Look, Lindsay, have you thought about a scene with more punch?" Courtney asked, somewhat desperate. "I mean, aside from my own pride in my work ethic, I would really like to see you win this thing, and maybe even the game!"

Lindsay glomped Courtney, who looked surprised for a quick moment. "That's so sweet! You're like so super nice!"

"You're welcome," Courtney stated, patting Lindsay on the head. "Look, you'll have an opportunity to make out with Tyler later. I feel that you should go with a scene that will pack a more emotional punch, though."

Lindsay tapped her chin in thought. "You mean like the time Heather threw a boat thing at Tyler? That's more dramatically, right?"

Courtney slapped her face in frustration, then put back on her smile. "I was thinking more along the lines of the bicycle race."

Lindsay continued tapping her chin. "That was a pretty nice moment."

"I'm sure Chris really liked that moment, too!" Courtney said, looking oddly excited.

Lindsay turned to Tyler. "What do you think?"

Tyler shrugged. "Well, I kind of like the making out things, but Chris probably would like the bike race more, and I really want you to win this thing, so I think I'd go with the bike race, too."

Lindsay looked down and sniffled. "Aww. I really wanted to make out." Lindsay had a seductive look on her face as she traced Tyler's jaw line with her finger. "Maybe we can get some in before we practice?"

Tyler looked excited as Lindsay pulled his lips to hers, and they started kissing, then went down to the ground, with Courtney looking nervous.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (shrugging) Still a lot better than getting stuck with Bridgette and Geoff.

Lindsay: I hope Courtney wasn't disappointed in me. I know she doesn't really like to see people making out unless it's her and Duncan.

* * *

Sadie was rubbing her shoe on the ground nervously, with Katie and Noah standing by. "I thought it would be a good idea."

"No one wants to see you two getting lost and arguing about it," Noah stated. "Keep in mind that you two were not popular with viewers last season."

"He's right," Katie said. "I mean, I thought it might be really neat, too, but no one really liked us. And Chris isn't going to like it, either."

"But what else can we do?" Sadie asked. "Snoring in unison is going to be even more boring."

Katie was smirking. "We have Noah." Katie looked at Noah seductively as she wrapped her arms around him. "Noah's pretty popular."

"No," Noah stated. "Whatever it is, no."

Katie rubbed her finger underneath Noah's chin. "Aww, but you don't even know my idea yet."

"I know that I don't like it," Noah complained, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Come on," Katie cooed, kissing Noah's cheek passionately.

"Please, Noah?" Sadie pleaded sweetly, holding her hands together.

"You don't know what she's plotting, either!" Noah shouted.

"Oh, **I **know what Katie's thinking," Sadie said, smirking.

"I'd be more surprised if Sadie didn't know what I was thinking, really," Katie said, shrugging, then looked as sweet as she could. "You don't want me to lose, do you, Noah? I mean, unless you hate me."

Noah sighed. "Dare I ask what incident you feel we should recreate?"

Katie was grinning wide. "Do you remember that episode, that--Sadie, do you remember the name of the episode where we were supposed to stay awake?"

Noah's eyes went wide. "Please tell me you and Sadie are planning on recreating the 'snoring in unison' scene!"

Katie hung herself around Noah. "But that's boring. You want me to win, don't you?"

"I don't want to kiss Cody!" Noah shouted.

Katie looked confused, and cocked her head. "Wait… I was actually thinking of that scene where Owen had to carry you during that twenty kilometer race, but that's a much better idea!" Katie glomped Noah excitedly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Wait," Noah said, flustered. "You mean you weren't--and that I--all for nothing?!"

"No," Katie stated, rolling her eyes. "You're pretty gullible for a smart guy. Of **course** I meant the kissing Cody thing!"

Noah shook his head smirking. "Well, considering he's competing against you, I don't think you're going to get Cody to agree to do it."

Katie was grinning wide again. "I think we can do better than that."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: (wide-eyed, writing down a note while he's talking) I love Katie! She's the nicest, sweetest girl in the world. Not to mention the only one who didn't automatically assume I was gay, which was nice. (Noah holds up the note, which reads "Please help me!")

* * *

"I thought the kiss was sweet," Beth said, a bit confused as she was standing by Cody and Eva.

"Chris isn't going to like that," Eva stated, with her arms across her chest. "Chris likes violence!"

"Well, I was mauled by a bear before the kiss," Cody said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No kiss!" Eva yelled.

"Don't worry," Beth said, smiling. "I promise I won't steal Cody away for realsies."

"Who's worried about that?" Eva said, flustered. "I'm not worried about that, no! It's just that Chris isn't going to like a sweet kiss between you and Beth, and he's going to vote you off."

"So," Cody said, twiddling his fingers, "what scene do you think we should recreate?"

Eva smirked, making Cody more nervous. "You remember 'The Big Sleep'?"

"The episode where you got kicked out, right?" Beth asked innocently.

"Yeah," Eva said, looking down. "I prefer to forget about that part."

"Then, why mention it?" Cody asked, looking fearful.

"I think we both know," Eva said, grinning deviously. "You know, a certain scene in that episode?"

"I was hoping you weren't going to remember that, really," Cody said, gulping. "I'd rather forget about that, myself."

"Chris will love it," Eva stated. "And Chris is going to love the ratings he'll get from it, meaning you get to stay in the game and kick ass for me!"

"I like the 'staying in the game' part," Cody said, twiddling his fingers once more. "I'm not as crazy over the… well… wait. I thought you were against kissing?" Cody raised an eyebrow.

"It's not really the same," Eva said, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. "I mean, Chris is far more likely to enjoy the kiss from Noah than he would the kiss from Beth."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Eva: (sighing) Not to mention, frankly, I'm not worried about Cody having feelings for Noah. I know, I know, I'm selfish and mean, and Beth's a nice girl, but I'd really rather he not get excited about Beth kissing him. (Eva looks down.) I wish I were stronger. (Eva taps her chin.) Feels weird for me to say that.

* * *

Cody laughed nervously. "You know we'll never get Noah to agree to it."

Eva smashed her fists together. "Oh, I can be pretty… convincing." Eva laughed a little maniacal laugh.

Cody and Beth looked too each other nervously. "Don't hurt him," Beth pleaded.

"Oh, I don't think I'll have to hurt him," Eva said, grinning deviously. "Just you leave it to me." Eva then walked off, leaving Cody and Beth looking to each other nervously once more.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: Noah's a nice guy, and she wouldn't really hurt him if he didn't agree to kiss me… would she? (Cody shrugged..)

* * *

"There's the kiss goodbye, eh?" Ezekiel asked, watching as Geoff and Bridgette continued making out, oblivious to Ezekiel. "Actually, I guess you didn't actually kiss. You almost kissed, though." Ezekiel scratched his tuque. "I still wonder how you got booted off if Geoff didn't voote for you."

"Probably just Heather," Geoff said after pausing for a second, then continued making out with Bridgette.

"I thought she woos nice," Ezekiel said, confused.

"Not very nice last year," Geoff said, pausing again, though Bridgette took his face and began smooching even more.

Ezekiel nodded. "Ooh. So do you two want to do that scene?" Geoff and Bridgette continued making out, ignoring Ezekiel. "Maybe when you broke Courtney's violin?" Geoff and Bridgette just continued making out, and Ezekiel sighed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Ezekiel: I really doon't know how Bridgette can win. She just keeps making up--is that the right expression? (Ezekiel shrugs.) Bridgette doesn't seem to be taking the challenge seriously, though, and I'm woorried she's going to lose.

Bridgette: (looking guilty) I'm sorry, Zeke! It's just, it's been so long since I've seen Geoff, and I just kind of, well, couldn't help myself. He's such a wonderful guy! (Bridgette smiles bright, wrapping her arms around herself.)

* * *

"You're a no good, selfish, heartless, pushy, bossy, mean, bully of a girl!" Lindsay yelled at Courtney, who was wearing Heather's outfit. Lindsay then smiled brightly. "How was that?"

Courtney paused in shock for a moment. "That wasn't what you said."

Lindsay put her finger on her chin, thinking. "I think I'm accidentally transparenting in American. I mean, I am bi-language-al, so it's hard sometimes."

"They're the same language," Courtney stated flatly.

"Not really," Lindsay said. "I've actually seen some episodes of _Total Drama Island_ translated into American." Lindsay leaned in close to Courtney, shifting her eyes back and forth. "Did you know that 'suck' in English transposes to 'stink' in American?"

"Uh, no," Courtney stated, looking bored.

Lindsay nodded obliviously. "It's totally true."

Tyler smiled. "You're so smart! I know I don't speak fluent American, babe." Lindsay blushed.

"They're the same language!" Courtney shouted, raising her arms in the air.

"Why don't we just agree to disagree," Tyler said. "It's not that important." Courtney rolled her eyes.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Tyler, you're an idiot! I know Lindsay gets confused sometimes, but you shouldn't be encouraging it!

Lindsay: (shaking her head) It's kind of sad. As smart as Courtney usually is, she doesn't seem to be aware of the subtle nuances between English and American. (Lindsay contorts her face.) What's a nuance, anyway?

* * *

"I can't believe I really said all of those words," Lindsay said, wide-eyed, as Courtney was nodding. "That's just so… so mean!"

"You said, 'em," Courtney said. "As much as Heather was bullying you last year, she had it coming to her."

"But… aren't you Heather?" Tyler asked, confused.

Courtney slapped her face in frustration. "No, I'm simply dressed as her for the reenactment."

"Reen… whatment?" Lindsay asked, holding her head as if she had a headache.

"You know," Tyler said, breathing in deeply, "like the war buffs do."

"I like buff guys," Lindsay said, smiling.

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Tyler, could you please stop trying to actively diminish Lindsay's intelligence, and allow us to get on with this?"

"Tyler's only trying to help," Lindsay said, nervous.

"I wish he would stop," Courtney stated.

"I still don't know about this scene, though," Lindsay said, tapping her chin in thought. "It just seems so mean, since Heather's so nice now."

"It's pretend," Courtney said, irritated. "Make believe. An act. Not real. She won't mind, I'm sure."

"I really don't know," Lindsay said, confused. "I don't want to hurt her feelings."

Courtney sighed. "I'll get her permission, and I promise she'll be OK with it."

"I… guess?" Lindsay asked.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out… you're doing good, Courtney. You're doing good out there.

Lindsay: I mean, English and American are **so** not identical. American seems to hate the letter u, but she had my favorite song! (Lindsay starts singing.) I'm with my umbrella, we go together where ever we go! (Lindsay starts tapping her chin.) Or maybe it was the lemon lollipop one. Or that obstetrician one.

**

* * *

**

Leshawna was dressed as Gwen, looking irritated. "This outfit be **way **too revealin'."

Heather rolled her eyes. "Come on, your sleepwear is more provocative than that!"

"Oh, that it is," Harold said, grinning, dressed as Trent.

"I didn't think they'd tape us in our pajamas, OK?" Leshawna said, embarrassed.

"Yet you wore them this year, too," Heather said, smirking.

Leshawna nervously looked around, shrinking back. "They're comfortable."

Heather poked Leshawna's chest. "Besides, you've got it, so flaunt it!"

"I really don't like parading around in this," Leshawna said.

"I find it to be rather becoming on you," Harold said, grinning as before.

"Oh, shut up!" Heather scolded. "You're supposed to be drooling over me, remember?"

"Boy can't help it," Leshawna said, grinning, showing off her body. "I mean, look at what you're forcing him to look at."

"I'm pretty, too," Heather said, nervous, then looked upward. "I mean, I'm still pretty without hair, right?"

"Definitely," Harold said, nodding. "But Leshawna's got the nicer rack."

Leshawna rolled her eyes. "Heather's right, shut up, Harold."

"Thank you," Heather stated. "Personally, I'd rather Gwen just plain be here with me right now. That would've worked so much better." Heather's eyes went wide, then she looked nervously to Leshawna.

"Hey, I kinda' suspected," Leshawna said, shrugging. "We didn't exactly pick out who to put in each others' groups."

"I didn't mean to say I didn't want you here," Heather said, rubbing the back of her neck. "I mean, you're a really nice person--I still can't believe I'm saying that--but Gwen was really angry back when she was voted off."

"And you wanted to try to work things out between you and her, I know," Leshawna said, wearing a warm smile. "Izzy picked out the groups, and I don't think she avoided Gwen on purpose. But she was there during the big blow up, and as far as she knows, you two hate each other again."

Heather sighed. "For all I know, she still hates me."

Leshawna put her arm around Heather. "I mean, I know it would've been nice for you and Gwen to work things out, but what if she was too angry? Then you'd really be in trouble for this challenge."

Heather sighed again. "I suppose."

"Look," Leshawna said, smiling, "you've got two willing teammates here. And we're both going to do what we can to help you win this thing." Leshawna started tugging on her corset top. "Even if I have to wear this."

"And even if I have to wear this, if it means helping m'lady win," Harold said, pointing to his Trent shirt.

Heather and Leshawna blinked in unison, in confusion. "What's wrong with that shirt?" Heather asked.

"There are five fingers on this hand," Harold stated. "I never understood why Trent wore a shirt with a five-fingered hand on it."

"It's probably an alien hand," Heather said. "I would've thought you'd be into things like that." Heather smirked at Harold. "And who are you to complain, anyway, Mr. Hamburger Shirt?" Leshawna chuckled, though tried not to.

"It's not a hamburger! Gosh!" Harold complained.

"OK, string bean, what is that supposed to be, anyway?" Leshawna asked.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: (shrugging) I don't see it.  
Heather: I think it's supposed to be abstract, like a Picasso. You can kind of see it if you squint really hard.  
Leshawna: No, I really don't see it.

* * *

"I still don't know about this scene," Leshawna said, nervous. "I mean, I know Chris is gonna' like it, but I know you and Gwen is already strained, and I just ain't sure this is gonna' help."

"Gwen should want me to win," Heather said, then sighed. "Or maybe not. She could still be upset with me."

"Girl can hold a grudge," Leshawna said, shrugging.

"So can you," Heather said, smirking.

"True that," Leshawna said, laughing a bit. "Glad that's behind us. I'm just worried that it's not behind Gwen."

Heather sighed. "Wish I could get Gwen's opinion." Heather turned to Harold. "Harold, what do you think?"

"I think we get to kiss in the scene," Harold said, grinning.

Heather waved her hand dismissively. "You're no help."

"OK then," Harold said. "I think that, if you and Gwen were on good terms, she would support your doing this scene. But that you're currently on thin ice with her, there's a good chance this will completely alienate you from Gwen." Harold started tapping his chin. "Although Leshawna might be able to put in a good word for you--"

"I really don't think that'll work, hon," Leshawna said, smirking.

"Hon?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just a--" Leshawna started, then cut herself short, looking a bit embarrassed. "You want me to stop that, right?"

Heather smiled. "Why did you break up with Harold, anyway?"

Leshawna looked embarrassed. "Can I… well, tell you later?"

"Sure," Heather said. "We still need to figure out what we're going to do here."

"We can still practice the kissing scene," Harold said, grinning.

Heather shrugged, and started speaking in a fake Southern belle accent. "Gwen is so mean to me, and even though I'm so obviously lying, you're so incredibly gullible, so gimme' some sugar!" Heather grabbed Harold, and started passionately kissing him. Leshawna chuckled.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: What can I say? The girl's funny. Frankly, I'm just glad they haven't really been making out that much. I feel bad for Ezekiel.

* * *

Noah was on the ground, curled up in a ball, whining. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, **no!**"

Katie was bending down, grinning deviously. "Pwetty pwease?"

"Those aren't words!" Noah shouted to himself, closing his eyes and covering his ears. "Those are not real words!"

"Poo!" Katie shouted, standing up and crossing her arms over her chest, looking pouty.

"I think it's really disturbing to Noah," Sadie said, nervous. "Maybe we shouldn't do it." Katie sighed, then knelt down to Noah.

"No!" Noah shouted once more.

"I'm not going to make you do it," Katie said, smiling sweetly.

"I said--wait, what?" Noah asked.

"I'm not going to make you do it," Katie repeated. "I mean, I don't know why it's bothering you so much, but for whatever reason, it is, so… well, I'm not going to make you do it."

Noah smiled warmly, and hugged Katie. "Thank you. That moment was a little traumatizing."

"You're so melodramatic," Katie answered.

"Not really," Noah said. "That didn't really make my past school year easier."

"You got teased?" Katie asked, concerned.

"Yes," Noah said. "I mean, I was teased about it before, too, but that little incident didn't really help."

Katie hugged Noah gently. "I'm sorry. I don't want my Noah to be uncomfortable."

"Hey guys," Eva said, smiling nervously as she walked up to the trio.

"We weren't making out!" Noah shouted defensively.

Eva raised an eyebrow. "I saw what happened. I know."

"Sorry, Eva, but he's taken," Katie said, smirking.

"That's too bad," Eva said, smiling innocently. "I had a pretty good idea for an act."

"Why did you want to tell us, anyway?" Katie asked, suspiciously.

"I thought we could do something… well, together," Eva said, looking guilty.

"Together?" Katie asked, curious. "Are we allowed to work together?"

"Chris didn't say we couldn't," Eva said, shrugging.

Katie raised an eyebrow. "What did you have in mind?"

"I don't like where this is going," Noah stated, looking uncomfortable.

Eva was twiddling her fingers. "Well, I had a great idea for an act that Chris would love."

"Please, don't tell me," Noah said, covering his face with his hand, shaking his head.

"Remember the Awake-a-Thon challenge?" Eva asked innocently.

"Noah doesn't want to do it," Katie said, looking down. "I tried to convince him, but he really doesn't want to do it."

"I could always force him," Eva said, smashing her fists together.

"Please don't," Katie pleaded.

"I was kidding," Eva said, smiling innocently. "I'm not good with the joking, am I?"

Katie smiled innocently. "You know how _Ginger Snaps _was both funny and scary at the same time? That's… not really you. You're kinda' just scary."

Eva sighed. "I need to get better with that."

"That was a terrible movie, neither funny nor scary," Noah said, irritated.

"And I'll bet you never actually saw it," Katie said, smirking.

"I don't need to see it to know that it's a terrible movie," Noah stated, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly.

Katie rolled her eyes. "Anyway, look, I'm sorry Eva, but we can't do it."

"Aww, please?" Sadie begged, getting in Noah's face. "Please please please please please?!"

"Let it go," Katie said, trying to pull Sadie away, who's lip was quivering.

"You know, it would really help Katie win this challenge," Eva said. "And Cody, too."

Noah sighed. "I am going to regret this, but I'll do it."

Katie glomped Noah hard, knocking them both to the ground. "Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!" Katie was giving Noah several quick kisses.

"I don't want you to lose because of me," Noah said, smiling. "I like you, OK?"

"Of course," Katie said, grinning.

"I'll tell Cody the good news," Eva said, as she walked off. "Sure he'll be glad to hear you agreed to it!"

Katie looked longingly at Noah, lying on her stomach, propping her head up with her hands. "You didn't have to do this, you know."

"I don't want to be your downfall in this competition," Noah said. "And I also like that I'm being given a choice in the matter, and not being forced to do this. That means a lot to me."

Katie giggled. "That sounds so sappy and un-Noah-like."

"If you prefer, I can find more things to complain about," Noah stated.

"I'd love that!" Katie exclaimed, hugging Noah again. "But you can be sappy too, if you like!" Katie rubbed Noah's hair.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: What was that movie Katie mentioned? I mean, I'm sure it sucks, don't get me wrong, but I would like to know what it's about so I can understand more thoroughly why it sucks.

Sadie: Aww, Noah's so sweet!  
Katie: I know!  
Sadie: You got really lucky, though. I was worried you were going to lose since Noah didn't want to kiss Cody.  
Katie: Sadie, Sadie, Sadie… it wasn't luck.  
Sadie: It wasn't?  
Katie: I figured if I didn't force Noah into it, he'd be more willing to do it for me.  
Sadie: (gasps) Bad, bad Katie!  
Katie: I am an evil genius.  
Sadie: Oh, you so are!  
Katie: I know!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

* * *

Cody looked nervous as Eva returned, with a grin that was making Cody nervous. "You threatened Noah, didn't you?" Cody asked.

"I'd like to think that I'm not like that anymore," Eva said, raising half her eyebrow.

"I guess," Cody said, rubbing the back of his neck. "You look a bit too pleased for Noah saying 'no,' though."

"Oh, he agreed," Eva said. "You are going to hold up your end of the deal, right?"

Cody sighed. "Guess I'd better get it over with."

"You can always get in some practice, though," Eva said. "He kissed your ear, right?"

"I can help," Beth said, smiling brightly. "I can pretend to be Noah!"

"That's not really going to be necessary," Eva said, nervous. "I think I can handle the Noah role for now."

"I'm all right with Beth playing Noah for now," Cody said, smiling.

Eva sighed, shaking her head. "I can't fight Beth."

"I hope not!" Beth shouted, nervous.

"You're too nice, I mean," Eva said, looking down. "I'm not going to win against you."

"I'm pretty sure I couldn't beat you up, even if I tried," Beth said. "I mean, I really, really don't want to try, though."

"I mean Cody," Eva said. "Cody likes you."

"He likes you now," Beth said, a bit confused for a second, until a light bulb went off in her head. "Oh, I get it. That was stupid of me, to suggest pretending to be Noah." Beth sighed.

"I like both of you," Cody said, nervous. "I don't really like being in this position."

"You like Gwen," Eva stated.

"Well, yes," Cody said. "I know she's taken, though. And I'd be surprised if she and Trent broke up. They seem so happy."

"So you're settling," Eva said.

"No!" Cody exclaimed, nervous. "I really haven't figured out who the right girl is yet, and I'm still trying to figure it out. It wasn't Gwen, obviously, but hey, it's not like she was the only cool girl around. Beth was really sweet, especially after that bear attack, but she didn't really seem interested. You did, Eva, and I was…" Cody trailed off, trying to figure things out in his head before continuing, and turned to Eva. "You cared, Eva. I mean, it kind of surprised me, but you seemed to like me."

Eva blushed, but quickly snapped herself out of it. "Well, I'm not really used to guys who actually like me like that." Eva sighed. "A lot of them used to call me ugly, or a man, but I put a quick stop to that. They still don't really like me, though. If they don't think I'm ugly, they're just plain scared that I'd kill them. And since I've had some real anger issues before, they were probably right. I've really been trying hard to keep it under control."

Cody walked up to Eva and gently hugged her. "You're not so bad."

"I tried to bite your hand off last year," Eva said, raising half her eyebrow. "Not to mention the whole 'kill Bridgette' thing."

"Why are you trying to remind me of that, anyway?" Cody asked, confused.

"I was a bad person," Eva said, trying to hold back tears. "I still am. I mean, I was pretty brutal with Courtney only weeks ago."

"So you need more help," Cody said, smiling. "We can figure this out."

"Thank you," Eva said, smiling.

"Ah well," Beth said, shrugging. "I'll find another boy."

"Really, Eva, you're a cool gal," Cody said. "And as quick as you forgave me for the Zoe thing, I think we can really have something."

"Who said I was finished with you for the Zoe thing?" Eva asked, grinning deviously.

Cody chuckled nervously. "Kidding, right?"

"Yes," Eva said. "How about we practice that kissing scene, now?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: That's funny. I don't remember Noah kissing me so passionately. (Cody adjusts his collar nervously.) I'm just hoping the real Noah doesn't do that.

Eva: I know Cody's got a couple of big time fans online… Sierra and Anita, I think? I just want to say back off! I'm not afraid to get physical!

Chris: Eva versus Beth… that's a pretty tough call. I mean, Beth's hideous and shapeless, but Eva's a man with inexplicably large boobs. (Chris taps his chin.) Guess they're both nicer than Katie, still.

* * *

Ezekiel looks to Geoff and Bridgette, scratching his head as the two continued making out incessantly. Ezekiel shrugged, then walked over and rubbed Bridgette's leg.

"Eep!" Bridgette screamed, jumping into Geoff's arms.

"Dude, what was that for?!" Geoff yelled, glaring at Ezekiel, hiding his face under his tuque.

"Please don't hurt me," Ezekiel pleaded. "I just couldn't think of what other scene we could do to keep Bridgette on, eh."

"Scene?" Geoff asked, confused.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Bridgette said, worried. "We were supposed to act out a scene from last season."

"Oh yeah," Geoff said, a bit confused. "That's a good one, then."

"Geoff?" Bridgette asked, glaring at her boyfriend. "I'm not sure I want to reenact Ezekiel's hitting on me in the hot tub."

"Well, why not, babe?" Geoff asked, confused. "We get to keep making out, you just bonk him on the head, it'll be perfect!"

Bridgette looked nervous. "You think Chris would like that, though?"

"Sure, babe," Geoff said. "It's got romance, it's got violence… what more could Chris ask for?"

"Up to the task, Zeke?" Bridgette asked. Ezekiel nodded.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: What is it with Bridgette and guys with hats? Do hat wearers like surfers? Ooh, I should learn to surf. I know I'd look really pretty posing on a surfboard!

* * *

Chris was standing on the stage of the amphitheater, while all of the contestants, minus Team Lindsay, were sitting in the bleachers. "Welcome to the Chris Maclaine Amphitheater!"

"The Chris Maclaine Amphitheater?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Like you could think of a better name," Chris retorted.

"The Makeup Amphitheater, the Fashion Accessory Amphitheater, the Diamond Ring Amphitheater--"

Katie chimed in. "The We Hate Chris Amphitheater, the Anti Smug Host Amphitheater, the Big Ego Little Name Amphitheater--"

"Ooh! Ooh!" Lindsay exclaimed from backstage. "I have some, like the Pink Amphibian, and ooh, the Pretty Atmosphere, and the Swimsuit Competition!"

"Or better yet," Courtney butted in from backstage, "how about the This-Is-Stupid-And-Doesn't-Need-a-Name-Period Amphitheater?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but Courtney's suggestion was too wordy, but it was still better than that stupid name Kyle gave it.

* * *

"Shut up!" Chris whined. "The name isn't important!"

"Then why bother naming this slapdash stage in the first place?" Heather asked, irritated.

"Not important!" Chris shouted, stomping his foot. "Let's just hear it for our first act, Lindsay, who will be performing that memorable scene from 'That's Off the Chain.'" Chris grinned at Heather. "I think you'll be quite familiar with it." Chris walked off the stage, as Lindsay, Tyler, dressed up as Duncan, and Courtney, dressed up as Heather, walked on.

"Nice outfit, Courtney," Heather said, giving a thumbs up. Courtney shuddered.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: OK, maybe that was meant as a compliment, and I overreacted a bit. Still, I really didn't care much for the outfit. So unbecoming for me if I wish for a future in American politics.

* * *

"You mean I've been helping you all this time, and you didn't even **like **me?!" Lindsay asked, surprised, to Courtney, looking smug.

"Uh, truth?" Courtney asked, sounding holier-than-thou. "Not really, no. What? We're not here to make friends, we're here to become celebrities."

"Ooh, that's… uh…" Tyler trailed off, forgetting his line. "That's--"

"That's cold, bra', and like you're such a team player," Courtney asked, irritated. "All you do is go around scaring the crap out of everyone." Courtney slapped her face in frustration upon seeing Tyler forgetting his next line, hemming and hawing instead. Courtney lowered her voice to try to imitate a tough guy voice. "At least I'm straight with people!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: All Tyler had was two little lines, and he couldn't even memorize that?!

Lindsay: I'm kind of scared that Courtney actually remembered all of those lines. I mean, that scene kind of stands out in my mind, but did Courtney memorize every line in every episode?

Tyler: What? I didn't go home memorizing every line of every episode last season! How the heck was I supposed to remember everything from last season word-for-word, anyway?

* * *

"Whatever," Courtney said, sounding like she didn't care. "I have invincibility. No one can touch me." Courtney started walking off.

"You really **are **mean, and all that bad stuff people say about you is true!" Lindsay exclaimed angrily, curling up her fists. "Like how you're a two-faced backstabbing lying little--"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Yeah, I thought the English version of my rant would work better than the American one. (Lindsay smiles sweetly to the camera.)

* * *

"Go jump in the piranha pool!" Courtney shouted, then stormed off, and quickly returned to the stage to bow with Lindsay and Tyler.

"That. Was. Awesome!" Chris exclaimed. "I have no idea how you two remembered all of those lines, but you did it! And Courtney, you do a **really **scary Heather." Chris smirked. "Really, you could've made an awesome villain in this show."

"I'll pass," Courtney said, rolling her eyes. "I could never really do something like that."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I don't really know… I kind of worried that Courtney could've been like a villain this year. Especially if everyone was really mean to her when she got to the island before she did anything wrong… could that actually have happened? (Lindsay looks deep in thought.)

Heather: Courtney can do a scary impression of me. I'm not sure whether it bothered me more to be reminded of how horrible I was last year, or that I could totally believe Courtney turning evil like that this year if things were slightly different.

* * *

Bridgette and Geoff were on the amphitheater stage, in their swimwear, behind a cheap cardboard cutout meant to look like a spa, making out. Ezekiel was also in his swimwear, wearing his Z medallion, and moved in closer to Bridgette, ultimately rubbing on her leg… but with no reaction. Ezekiel, confused, continued, but with no reaction.

"Guys?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

"Oh, hey, home school!" Geoff exclaimed. "Oh, wait… was Bridgette supposed to bonk you on the head here."

"Oops," Bridgette said, turning red, then gave Ezekiel a light tap on the head. "Bad Zeke." Bridgette giggled a bit, then turned back to Geoff, making out some more.

Chris blinked in confusion. "What the hell was that?!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (looking guilty) OK, I know I didn't take the challenge very seriously, but it's just that I haven't seen Geoff in so long, and I've missed him so much, and… I just, kinda', well, couldn't help it. (Bridgette looks down.) I probably deserve to go tonight. (Bridgette sighs.)

Courtney: I'm starting to believe Geoff being the first person to leave was the best thing that could happen to Bridgette. I mean, I know she likes him, but I can't imagine she would have lasted very long if all she did was make out with him twenty-four seven.

* * *

"Next up we have two teams working together, as one," Chris said, standing on the amphitheater stage. "Please give it up for Team Cody and Team… heh… Noah, I should say?" Chris walked off the stage, chuckling to himself, while Noah and Cody stepped onto the stage, and lay down, pretending to be asleep.

Noah was restless, and grabbing the air around, and eventually latched on to Cody's ear. Noah gave a small kiss on Cody's ear, then seemingly making out with it, and then seemingly he and Cody looked to be making out heavily, still with eyes closed, but quickly opened their eyes, and started screaming, and running around the stage in circles.

Chris sniffed. "That was awesome! I mean, granted, it would've been better with two girls, but since the closest thing you have to a girl on either of your teams is a morbidly obese pig with hair that's fitting for such a pig--"

"You **do not **want to finish that statement," Katie stated coldly, peeking from behind the curtain, glaring death at Chris, which was enough to send shivers down his spine.

"OK," Chris said. "Either way, that's going to make the Nody fans go crazy! They're going to love it, which means huge ratings, which means I love it!"

"The Notie fans?" Katie asked, confused. "I don't think they're going to like it."

"Of course they will!" Chris shouted, a bit confused. "Why wouldn't the fans who want to see Noah and Cody hook up like it?"

"The Notie fans are the ones who want to see precious moi and Noah together," Katie said, rolling her eyes."

"What are you talking about?" Chris asked. "All the cool kids smush the names together, and Nody is clearly the first half of Noah and the second half of Cody."

Katie rolled her eyes. "That's **NoCo **fans! Seriously, don't you know anything?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Noah: I'm a little frightened that Katie seems to be aware of fans online who want to see me hooked up with everyone.

Katie: Personally, I like the Notie shippers more than the NoCo shippers. (Katie smiles innocently.)  
Sadie: How did you get Noah to agree to do all of **that**, anyway?  
Katie: It's a secret. (Katie grins deviously.)  
Sadie: Aww, but I'm your BFFFL! You've got to tell me!  
Katie: Oh, I will, promisies! It's just… well, we're kinda' being watched by millions of people out there.  
Sadie: Oh, yeah. But can't we just turn that camera off so you can tell me in private?  
Katie: That's a great idea! Sadie, you're a genius! (Katie glomps Sadie.)  
Sadie: Aww, thank you! I like being the genius every now and then!  
Katie: (Katie reaches down to turn the camera off.) Well sometimes--

Chris: (pulling away from the camera, irritated) I really hate when they shut this thing off.

* * *

Chris was on the amphitheater stage, clearing his throat. "And last, but not least--no way it could be worse than Bridgette's act--we have Team Heather, performing… well, there are too many songs with 'kiss' in the title, but one of those." Chris stepped off the stage, and Bridgette, in the audience turned red with embarrassment again.

Heather and Leshawna, dressed as Gwen, walked onto the stage. "We don't like each other," Heather said, looking to Leshawna. "But we need to work as a team to win this."

"Right," Leshawna said, smiling back.

"Wait, what?" Chris said to himself, looking confused.

Heather and Leshawna set up fake traps on the stage, capturing Harold dressed as Duncan, and Harold dressed as Owen with pillows stuffed in his shirt, over and over, while the two girls high-fived each other a lot, and ultimately pretended sleeping with Harold, dressed as Duncan once more, to get his map.

"We make a great team!" Heather exclaimed.

"That we do," Leshawna agreed, as she, Heather, and Harold took their bows.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (waving her arms wildly) What was that?! Are you **trying **to lose, Heather?!

Leshawna: At the last minute, Heather changed her mind for some reason, and didn't want to do the kissing scene with Trent, aka Harold. I just hope she doesn't get voted off for it.

Heather: I'd like to win this challenge, don't get me wrong, but the last thing I wanted to do was give Gwen more reason to hate me, and I'm not sure she'd have wanted to be reminded of the kissing Trent thing. Fortunately, I remembered the one time Gwen and I did get along, and I just really hope I'm not going home tonight. (Heather sighs.)

* * *

"Where was the kiss?" Chris asked, irritated. "That wasn't a kiss! That was just that stupid challenge where you and Gwen got along for some stupid reason and it made for lousy TV!"

"Last minute change of plans?" Heather asked, worried.

Chris slapped his face in frustration. "Maybe last was least after all. Either way, I don't have to think very hard about it: you and Bridgette sucked hard! You two are up for elimination tonight, so you'd better suck up to your friends." Chris smirked at Heather. "Not that you have any, ha ha!"

Leshawna shuddered, then stormed after Chris, who ran away. "She does so have friends!"

Lindsay smiled as she walked up to Heather, with Courtney in tow, and Lindsay hugged Heather tight. "You do have friends."

"That's kind of why the act was so bad," Heather said. "I was going to do the whole kissing Trent scene, but I didn't want to offend Gwen any more, and I'm really hoping I can still mend fences with her, and--"

"She'd have forgiven you," Courtney stated flatly. "I'm sure she could reason logically enough to realize you would have only done so to ensure your stay in the competition, and not as a slight against her."

"Yeah," Lindsay said, nodding, then looked confused. "Maybe… I didn't really understand that."

Heather shrugged. "Maybe you're right, Courtney. I didn't feel it was worth the risk."

"I'm still up for the kiss," Harold said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Eww," Courtney complained, reeling back. "If you're going to make out, couldn't you at least change out of Duncan's outfit?" Heather chuckled.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Heather: I'm voting for Bridgette. I mean, it's nothing personal, but… well, I'd really like to stay in this competition longer, and Bridgette's the only other person I'm allowed to vote for.

Bridgette: Good luck, Heather! If I lose, it'll be OK. But really, I do kind of hope I get to stay. (Bridgette chuckles to herself.) Probably irritate the heck out of everyone if I lost, and got stuck making out with Geoff more at the Playa' des Losers!

Cody: It's… well, that was actually pretty cool of Heather, to take the one time she and Gwen got along last season, and make an act out of that. (Cody shrugs.) But still, there's that whole 'she got me mauled by a bear' thing, and that took a while for me to recover from.

Lindsay: I'm sorry, Bridgette, but Heather's just so awesome again, like I thought she was last year. (Lindsay looks pouty, crossing her arms over her chest.) Even though I was wrong… but I'm not wrong this year! (Lindsay smiles brightly.) Still, I hope you're not too mad, Bridgette, 'cause I would love to learn your secret for getting natural blonde hair! I have to dye mine, but I would love to learn how make it naturally blonde!

* * *

Bridgette, Cody, Heather, Katie, and Lindsay were sitting on their stumps around the campfire that night, with Chris behind his podium, and Geoff, Ezekiel, Eva, Beth, Harold, Leshawna, Noah, Sadie, Tyler, and Courtney waiting behind him, with Geoff, Ezekiel, Harold, and Leshawna looking especially worried, and Courtney frantically pacing back and forth.

"Lindsay's safe, you know," Tyler said to Courtney, confused.

"This is a lose-lose situation!" Courtney shouted, angry. "Either my best friend from last year is going to lose, or one of the nicest people I've helped along this year is going to lose!"

Tyler shrugged. "What's so special about Bridgette, anyway?"

Courtney looked like her brain had just broken, then glared death at Tyler. "I dare you to repeat those words."

"What's so special about Bridgette, anyway?" Tyler asked, glaring back at Courtney. Courtney immediately pounced on him, with the others looking nervous, and Chris trying to get the attention back on himself.

"OK," Chris said, still watching, but turned around after Courtney had Tyler on the ground. "Don't know what that was about, and don't care." Chris took out four Gilded Chris trophies. "As you know, on this island, trophies represent life! If you receive a trophy, you are safe for tonight. If you do not receive a trophy, you must immediately walk the Dock of Shame, to catch the Yacht of Losers, and you can never come back! **Ever!**"

"Yacht?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow. "So the loser gets to lose in style."

"We couldn't fit the loser and all the other people on the regular Boat of Losers, OK?!" Chris shouted.

"Didn't Courtney and Tyler come back?" Lindsay asked, confused. "And Betty, and Ernest, and--"

"Not as contestants!" Chris whined. "I meant they can never come back as contestants!"

"That's not what you said, though," Katie said, smirking.

"Shut up!" Chris whined. "Take your stupid trophy and shut up!" Chris threw the trophy at Katie, who was prepared to catch it… but actually fell forward and fell face first onto the ground.

"Ow…" Katie moaned, still on the ground. "This thing's a whole lot lighter than it was last time."

"Yeah," Chris said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Legal didn't want me to toss the lead trophies anymore, but they said it was OK if I threw these chocolate ones at you guys!"

"Can I have one?" Owen asked, standing right behind Chris.

Chris leapt forward, crashing into his podium in shock. "How the hell did you get here?!"

Owen was twiddling his fingers. "Well, I heard you say 'chocolate,' and I was really hungry, and I was hoping maybe possibly these guys would let me eat their chocolate Gilded Chrises."

"How did you get here that fast from the Playa' des Losers, anyway?!" Courtney yelled. "That's not humanly possible!"

"Don't really care enough to waste more time on that," Chris said, annoyed.

"He broke the laws of physics!" Courtney yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

"Don't care!" Chris yelled, as he threw trophies to Cody and Lindsay. "You two are safe, too!"

"Can I pretty please have those with a cherry on top?" Owen asked nervously, walking up to Cody and Lindsay."

"Sure, Omar," Lindsay said, smiling brightly, as she handed Owen her Gilded Chris. Owen stuck the whole thing in his mouth.

Chris looked disgusted. "You know you aren't supposed to eat the wrapper."

"Because you're so concerned for our health and well being, I'm sure," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"I just find it kind of gross," Chris said, as Owen ate Cody's Gilded Chris, after unwrapping it, and went over to Katie, still lying face first on the ground.

"You don't really look like you can handle food right now," Owen said innocently.

"Knock yourself out." Katie held up her Gilded Chris toward Owen, who looked longingly at it before unwrapping it and putting the whole thing in his mouth.

Heather and Bridgette looked nervously to each other, and held each other's hand. "Good luck," Heather said, smiling nervously at Bridgette.

"You too," Bridgette said, smiling nervously back, and the two hugged before turning their attention back to Chris.

"Thank you," Chris said, irritated, holding a single Gilded Chris in his hand. "There are two of you remaining, but only one Gilded Chris in my hand. The one of you who gets this precious chocolate is safe. The other is a big fat loser who must immediately leave the island! And the final Gilded Chris goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Bridgette." Chris tossed the final Gilded Chris to Bridgette, but Owen caught it in his mouth before it reached Bridgette.

"I kind of wanted to eat that," Bridgette said, looking disappointed.

"Don't worry," Owen said, nervous. "I'm pretty sure it's milk chocolate, and I know you don't believe in eating milk stuff… right?"

"I'm not a vegan," Bridgette said. "There's a difference."

"Oh," Owen said, trying to laugh it off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Does anyone really expect me to vote off my BFFFL still on this island? Seriously… (Katie rolls her eyes.) I'm just not telling who I'm voting for. You can figure it out.

* * *

"I'm sorry," Bridgette said, crying as she hugged Heather, who looked content.

"It's OK," Heather said. "I played with honor, and I lost with honor." Heather smiled a bit. "But just to make it clear, I didn't do the sappy thing and vote myself off. I did vote for you."

"That's fine," Bridgette said, smiling. "Really, you've been so cool this year, and I would have loved to see you win the million dollars!"

"I don't need it," Heather said, shrugging. "My parents will help me get off my feet. They're a lot nicer than that stupid video from home painted them to look."

"That's good," Bridgette said.

Heather fell back as she was glomped by Lindsay. "I'm going to miss you." Lindsay sniffled. "Now both of my best friends are going bye-bye."

"It won't be too much longer, Lindsay," Heather said, smiling again, picking herself off the ground. "Just three more little challenges, and this hell will be over, and you'll get a million dollar head start on life that you can really use."

"Thank you," Lindsay said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"I don't know," Cody said. "I was surprised you wanted to show off the challenge where you and Gwen got along, instead of something like the one where you kissed Trent in front of Gwen."

"Yeah," Heather said, nervous. "I'm really hoping I can get back on Gwen's good side."

"She's nice now, Cody, really," Katie said, still lying face down on the ground.

"I guess," Cody said, nervous, walking up to Heather. "But there's still the issue of that bear that attacked me last year."

"You're not serious," Heather stated, sounding a bit irritated.

"Well, yeah," Cody said, getting more nervous. "The chips you threw in the forest are kind of what got me mauled by that bear."

"You are serious," Heather said, nervous. "That wasn't really my fault. Believe it or not, even last year, I wouldn't have orchestrated something like that. I didn't want anyone to actually die, you know. I was never that cruel."

"I guess," Cody said. "I guess you're not so bad."

"You're not, either," Heather said, smiling.

"Can we hurry it up, people?!" Chris yelled. "I'm on a tight schedule!"

"For what?" Heather asked, irritated. "Manicure?"

"Yes," Chris said, looking down. "I mean, it's not important! Tight schedule, so just hurry it up!"

"Fine," Heather said, rolling her eyes, as she started walking toward the yacht. "Happy?"

"Wait, bye Heather!" Katie shouted, still lying face down on the ground. "I didn't want you to leave without me getting to say bye! I mean, I voted for you, but Bridgette's like my BFFFL out of everyone still here, but you're still super cool!"

"You sure can talk a lot for someone who seems so winded," Heather said, raising an eyebrow.

"Natural talent," Katie said.

"I'm sorry, girl," Leshawna said, as she walked with Heather onto the yacht, with Harold and Courtney nearby, and the others climbing aboard as well. "You played a good game."

"You should be proud of yourself for playing with such great dignity and losing with such grace," Courtney said, smiling, as the yacht took off. "And I'm sorry for insulting you earlier, when I walked out onto the stage."

"Insulting me?" Heather asked, confused. "I don't remember that."

"You know, I was irritated when you congratulated me on wearing your outfit?"

Heather was tapping her chin. "Oh yeah, that. I forgot about it, and it wasn't a big deal anyway."

"But I've been worrying myself over it for hours," Courtney said, flustered.

"It wasn't a big deal," Heather said. "You really ought to not worry about so much."

Courtney sighed. "I... guess."

"And we should make out," Harold said, smiling hopefully. Heather shrugged, and gave Harold a nice, long kiss.

"Dudes," Geoff said, "you know we're on this yacht. We should take the time to party!"

"It's a five minute ride, genius," Noah stated, rolling his eyes.

"Plenty of time for a party!" Geoff exclaimed.

Sadie shrugged, then turned to Noah. "Let him have his fun."

Chris was looking as the yacht was leaving, looking irritated. "It's about time they left! And only four contestants remain! What horrible, nightmarish challenge will these four losers have to face up ahead? Find out next time on _Total Drama--_

"Heather!" Katie shouted, still lying on the ground.

Chris slapped his face in frustration, then turned around and noticed Katie hadn't left. "Seriously, are you going to lay there all night, or what?"

"Fine," Katie said, irritated, as she picked herself off the ground and walked off.

"Finally, me time!" Chris exclaimed, as he took out a paddleball. "One," Chris said, as the ball fell down. "One," Chris said, as the ball fell down again, then held the ball to his face. "Look, I'm going to keep doing this until you cooperate, so just make this easy on yourself and let me hit you more!" Chris tried to paddle the ball again, and once again made it only to one, and then threw the paddle into the fire, and walked off in frustration, grumbling things under his breath.

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Heather  
Cody: Heather  
Heather: Bridgette  
Katie: Heather  
Lindsay: Bridgette

Heather: 3  
Bridgette: 2

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel, Trent, Harold, Courtney, Gwen, Leshawna, Tyler, Heather

Remaining Contestants: Bridgette, Cody, Katie, Lindsay

* * *

*sniff* Yes, Heather has left us for the second time this game, I'm sorry to say. She's not going to win the million dollars after all. It's too bad. I was kinda' pulling for her.

Either way, a mere four contestants remain. Each has a one in four chance of winning the million dollars! Who will it be? Stay tuned to find out!


	48. Day 23, Part 1: Katie in Red

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 48: Day 23: Part 1: Katie in Red**

Heather was rubbing her forehead, leaning on the railing of the yacht, alongside Harold, Leshawna, and Courtney, while the others were partying for the short trip. Well, except for Eva, who was sulking, but that's not really important.

"You oughta' party hardy, Heather!" Geoff exclaimed, then blew into a noisemaker.

"Where did he **get **those?" Courtney asked, looking confused.

"Does it really matter?" Heather asked.

"Well, yes, it kind of does," Courtney said, nervously rubbing her arm.

"Heather's just a little down," Leshawna said. "But really, no one else cares." Courtney defiantly crossed her arms over her chest.

"I guess I'll be seeing Gwen soon," Heather said, looking more nervous than she sounded.

"It'll be all right," Leshawna said, patting Heather's back. "We'll face her together."

"I'm sure that'll be a hit with Gwen," Heather said, rolling her eyes. "Two people she hates for the price of one."

Leshawna laughed nervously. "Yeah, I guess that's not the best idea."

"I could talk to Gwen," Harold stated, looking proud. "I have a way with girls."

"No, you don't," Courtney stated flatly.

"I don't know," Leshawna said, rubbing her chin. "The way he's been swooning Heather--"

"Courtney's right, he doesn't," Heather stated.

"I'm right here!" Harold shouted. "Gosh!"

"So who is on good terms with Gwen?" Leshawna asked.

The four looked at each other, with Courtney sweating bullets, which everyone else quickly noticed. "Courtney?" Heather asked, nervous.

"Duncan, OK, Duncan!" Courtney released, shouting to the heavens, then started crying, curling down on the ground. "Gwen likes Duncan."

"I'm really not sure about that," Heather said, getting more worried.

"It's not her fault," Courtney said, still crying. "She can't help how she feels, and she's done a good job at not messing with him, but…" Courtney started trailing off, sobbing.

"Are we sure this is Courtney, and not some alien clone?" Harold asked, narrowing his eyes. "We all know the real Courtney doesn't--"

"Shut up, Harold!" Heather and Leshawna shouted in unison, as the yacht arrived at the Playa' des Losers.

"Everybody off!" Chef yelled. "**Now**, maggots!" Everyone quickly stopped partying and obeyed in fear of Chef. Except, well…. "Off, now!" Chef yelled at Eva.

"I'm going at my own pace, thank you very much," Eva stated, irritated.

"No backtalk!" Chef yelled, as the tried to pick up Eva, though Eva quickly got out as picked up Chef, and tossed him off the yacht.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Seriously, Eva, Chef? (Chris shakes his head.) I thought you knew better than that.

Chef: (soaking wet) Seriously, I need to work out more! Get my muscles back into shape, what with letting these bratty kids boss me around!

* * *

"Heather," Gwen stated coldly, as she entered the Playa' des Losers, alongside Courtney, Leshawna, and Harold, with the other three looking nervous. "I'd like to speak with you."

Heather gulped nervously, then smiled uncomfortably. "Yes, Gwen?"

"In private," Gwen stated, irritated. Heather nodded nervously, then went to follow Gwen back to her room, and Gwen sat on her bed, with Heather standing before her, looking scared. Gwen pat a space on her bed beside her. "Have a seat."

"I think I'd rather stand," Heather said, rubbing her arm.

Gwen shrugged. "OK."

"So," Heather said, looking around the room, "should I start, or--"

"I'd like to go first," Gwen said, then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

Heather raised an eyebrow. "You're sorry?"

"Um, yeah," Gwen said, looking down. "I overreacted, and said some things I shouldn't have said."

"I'm sorry I voted you off," Heather said, looking down.

"Why are you sorry?" Gwen asked, confused.

"I… voted you off?" Heather asked, a bit confused.

Gwen shrugged. "You were right, though. The game was killing me. You did what was best for me."

Heather smiled, and sat down on Gwen's bed in the space she had previously set for her. "I still felt awful, doing that to you."

"I've made you feel bad enough, already," Gwen said, then smiled slightly. "I heard you threw the challenge because of me."

"I didn't really throw it," Heather said, rubbing the back of her neck. "I was just originally going to do a certain skit that might've hurt you, and I decided to switch to that challenge where you and I were working as a team against Duncan and Owen."

Gwen chuckled a bit. "You know, I was really surprised back then how well we could work together."

"We're not so different,": Heather said, smiling brightly. "We both made stupid judgments about each other, both too thick-headed to realize that--"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Gwen said, getting defensive. "We? As in, not just you?"

"Well, OK, it was me more than you," Heather said. "Still, you weren't exactly innocent. Like, even though you didn't want to take charge of the talent competition last year, you didn't want me to either, exactly."

"And you read my diary to the world," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. "Guess I had that one coming."

"Again, I admit I was definitely worse than you were, but my point was that you didn't really like me either. You were everything I thought that I hated, and I was everything you thought that you hated."

"I… guess," Gwen said. "But you like being around people, and I don't like it… that's not exactly us being the same person."

"Sure," Heather said sarcastically. "You've made so many friends because you don't like being around people. And I sure loved everyone I was around when I was popular."

"OK, OK," Gwen said, smiling, then hugged Heather. "Thank you, and I'm really sorry I lost my temper."

Heather hugged back and pat Gwen on the back. "It's OK. Not like I can claim to be perfect."

"I don't think anyone would make that mistake," Gwen said, giving Heather a light punch in the arm.

Heather backed away slightly, and smiled uncomfortably. "I'm glad we're on good terms once more, but I was also hoping to get you on better terms with someone else."

"I'm not interested in Duncan, I swear!" Gwen exclaimed.

"It's not that--and you're lying," Heather said, smirking.

Gwen blushed. "Well, maybe, but I'm taken. And he's taken, and I wouldn't do that to Courtney." Gwen smiled uncomfortably. "And you don't really need to tell Courtney that I might have a slight crush." Gwen's eyes grew wide. "Or Trent! I wouldn't want him to freak out and start acting really weird, and stuff."

"It's our little secret," Heather said playfully. "I wasn't talking about Courtney, though. I was… well… thinking, well, maybe--"

"It's Leshawna, isn't it," Gwen said, sounding irritated.

"She's… not so bad," Heather said, tugging on her top nervously.

"Did you remember what she did to me?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. "Not to mention you?"

"She feels terrible about that," Heather said. "She was blinded by revenge, and now she's just desperate to make it up to you."

Gwen sighed. "It's late, and I don't think I have it in me at the moment."

"OK," Heather said, looking down. "I don't really want to bother you too much, and risk being hated again."

"You can bother me, really," Gwen said, smiling. "Doesn't mean I have to take your advice."

Heather shrugged. "True." Heather got off the bed and headed toward the door. "I'm going to get something to eat. Want to come with? Bring you back something?"

"I'm good," Gwen said. "I'm just going to get ready for bed."

"All right," Heather said, smiling. "Good night."

"Night," Gwen answered.

* * *

"You're kidding," Courtney stated flatly to Duncan in his room, standing before him.

"I don't get why you're even yelling at me," Duncan said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I am not yelling!" Courtney yelled, throwing her arms into the air. "But if I were, it would be because you went to talk to Gwen without my permission!"

"Didn't you just ask me to talk to Gwen?" Duncan asked, irritated. "I don't see the big deal."

"The big deal is that I'm giving you permission that you did not have earlier! Do you know how **hard **this was for me to ask of you?!"

Duncan shrugged. "Hey, it's not Gwen's fault that--"

"I know!" Courtney yelled, poking Duncan's chest harshly. "It's yours!"

"So how are you going to punish me?" Duncan asked, smirking.

"You're an ogre!" Courtney yelled.

"I try," Duncan said, then was immediately glomped by Courtney, knocking them both to the ground, hugging him tight.

"Thank you," Courtney said sweetly. "So you've convinced Gwen into forgiving Heather and Leshawna."

"Wait, wait, wait," Duncan said, a bit irritated. "I thought this was about Heather. What's this Leshawna stuff, now?"

"You know, trying to get Gwen on good terms with Heather and Leshawna again," Courtney said as she was rubbing her fingers through Duncan's mohawk.

"I didn't say anything about Leshawna," Duncan said. "I was just trying to get her to lay off Heather. Heck, I agreed with her about Leshawna."

"You're kidding," Courtney stated.

"**I'm **kidding? **You're **kidding!" Duncan shouted. "Did you forget everything Leshawna did?"

"Of course not," Courtney said, more sweetly than Duncan was likely expecting. "It's just… she's a good person who made a mistake. Remember when you two bonded in "Trial by Tri-Armed Triathlon"?

"What?" Duncan asked, confused. "What was that one?"

"The challenge where you and Leshawna were handcuffed together," Courtney said.

"Well, that was before she turned evil," Duncan said.

"She's not evil now," Courtney said, smiling. "She just went overboard in protecting a good friend."

"I don't really need a friend like that," Duncan said.

"Of course," Courtney said, getting slightly irritated. "'Cause I'm obviously perfect and can do no wrong."

"That's what you always tell me, Princess," Duncan said, smirking.

Courtney scoffed. "Like you really believe I'm perfect."

Duncan shrugged. "Nope. You keep telling me that, still."

"I'm not, OK?!" Courtney yelled, holding tight to Duncan. "I'm not perfect."

"Now was that so hard?" Duncan asked.

"Yes. Yes it was," Courtney said. "I want to be perfect."

"And instead, you're just like me," Duncan said, smirking.

"Please," Courtney said, rolling her eyes, "I'm not a criminal."

"Yet," Duncan said, still smirking.

"Urgh!"

* * *

"Please, I can explain!" Justin shouted nervously, as he was running down a hallway, from Tyler, DJ, Geoff, and Trent.

"You can explain to my fists!" Tyler yelled. "I didn't forget what you did with Lindsay!"

"It's just a misunderstanding!" Justin shouted, and hurried into Beth's room, locking the door behind him, with the other guys pounding on the door. "You wouldn't want to break poor little Beth's door, would--"

Justin was hit by a pillow, then a lamp that Beth threw at him as tried to scream, covering herself with her blanket. "Get out! Get out! I was changing!"

"Ow, ow!" Justin cried out. "Look, I just need temporary sanctuary."

"I'm naked!" Beth yelled. "Get out now!"

"Don't worry, I promise you that it's not turning me on," Justin said, sounding grossed out.

"That does not make me feel better!" Beth shouted.

"Look, I need help," Justin complained.

"I don't want to help you!" Beth shouted. "And get out!"

"Please, Beth," Justin said, looking nervous. "That's a word nice people say, isn't it?"

"Out!" Beth yelled, approaching Justin angrily, still keeping her blanket around her.

"Please give me another chance, I'm begging you!" Justin said, getting down on his knees.

"Out!" Beth yelled again, opening the door and throwing a confused Justin out. Beth went back to changing into her nightwear as she heard Justin screaming outside.

* * *

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, waving his arms around wildly as he started speaking. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _the campers had to--" Chris stopped short as his cell phone started ringing. "Excuse me," Chris said, as he reached into his pocket, and looked who it was. "Good, I've been meaning to talk to you for a while now." Chris flipped his phone open and put it to his ear. "Hello. Yes, and I've been meaning to talk to you about my bonus. Like where is it?" Chris was looking angrier as the person on the other end was speaking. "Just replace her! I've never even heard of her before, and I'm sure no one would even notice if you just fired her." Chris was making gagging faces as the person on the other end continued speaking. "Look, I seriously doubt she's been working that hard." Chris rolled his eyes as he continued listening. "I'm out here every day torturing these kids! And she doesn't even do anything important!"

Chris sighed, and hung up the phone as the other person was speaking, then put the phone away. "Seriously, I work hard! And I bet this Stephanie Mills person's biggest duty is making coffee. Like she really did anything at all this season." Chris cleared his throat, then put back on his plastic smile. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _the campers had to reenact scenes from the original season with the not-as-cool name, _Total Drama Island. _Some people did well. I know there were lots of viewers who loved watching the Nody make out scene, and Lindsay and Courtney did disturbingly well with the whole 'Lindsay cursing Heather out' scene." Chris started frowning. "On the other hand, Bridgette didn't seem to have a clue with the hot tub scene, and Heather, for reasons I can't even pretend to understand, decided to go with the one episode where she and Gwen actually got along." Chris rolled his eyes. "Seriously, that episode sucked last season. And not just because I wasn't there, even though that's a big part of it. OK, the biggest part of it, but it would've been a little better, at least, if they were more at each others' throats."

Chris shrugged. "Not surprisingly, Bridgette and Heather were up for elimination, and even less surprising, Heather was voted off. 'Cause seriously, no one's buying the whole nice act." Chris started tapping his chin. "Well, I guess a lot of the contestants are buying it, but that's only 'cause they're idiots. Someone more intelligent, such as, say, myself, would never buy such an obvious ploy for sympathy." Chris put his nose higher into the air. "If Gwen were smart, she'd stay away from Heather, but I don't really trust Gwen to be that smart." Chris shrugged. "But hey, it'll be higher ratings once Heather finally does do something to Gwen! Will it be this episode? Maybe… but there **will **be another contestant voted off, in our most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, coming up on _Total Drama Chris!"_

Chris' smile went away, and he started looking around nervously. "Chef?"

Chef rolled his eyes, and irritated, walked over to Chris. "What?!"

"Where has Izzy been?" Chris asked. "It's been a while since she's interrupted me during my monologues."

"Just enjoy it," Chef said, shrugging.

"I don't trust her," Chris said, crossing his arms over his chest. "If she's been leaving me alone for this long a time, she's got to be plotting something big, and I don't like it!"

"Stop whinin' and just enjoy it while it lasts!" Chef shouted, then walked away.

Chris was scratching his head, then narrowed his eyes to the camera. "Whatever you are up to, Izzy, you are **not** going to get away with it, **you hear me?!**" Chris' cell phone started ringing again, and he checked the number, then answered it. "So, you've come crawling back to me. Finally realized I deserve that bonus instead of--" Chris' eyes grew wide in horror. "Izzy?! What are you doing with the producer's phone?!" Chris started turning red, and one could almost swear steam was coming out of his ears. "No you are **not **going to get away with… whatever the hell you're trying to get away with! And I'm not going to tell you what my favorite scary movie is!" Chris angrily threw his phone into the lake, and started hyperventilating. After a few minutes, he calmed down, then looked around, as he started walking back to the island. "Emily! I have an underwater assignment for you!"

* * *

Bridgette, Cody, and Katie were standing near the Dock of Shame, as Chris stood before them, looking irritated. "Today's challenge promises to be a rather entertaining one," Chris said, grinning deviously. "Most of you shall enjoy it, I can assure you. One of you will like it a little bit less."

"That last part is making me a little bit nervous," Cody said, worried.

"You'll be fine," Chris said, waving Cody off. "You'll enjoy this challenge. If I were in your shoes, I'd **love **this one!"

"Since when would you actually want to do one of your own challenges?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.

Chris was grinning wide. "Because this challenge involves revenge! Revenge on a certain snot-faced know-it-all! A certain someone who was supposed to get voted off a long time ago!"

"Didn't you agree to let Geoff take my place, though?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"Not you!" Chris shouted, slapping his face in frustration. "I'm talking about Katie!"

"Huh?" Katie asked, contorting her face. "I was never supposed to be voted off."

"The lock box challenge ring a bell?" Chris asked, sounding angry. "The challenge where you cheated to stay on the show?"

The three contestants blinked in confusion, though Katie rolled her eyes a couple seconds later. "That wasn't cheating! That was **you **trying to cheat to get me voted off!"

"**And it was supposed to work, you fucking bitch!**" Chris screamed, trying to pry off a board from the Dock of Shame, but wasn't able to pull it off. "Chef, help me pull this thing off so I can throw it at Katie!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (glaring angrily at the camera) Bridgette told me what Chris said, and seriously, he's like the most awful person I can think of! I bet even they even dub over that line in Canadia! (Lindsay tapped her chin.) It was funny to hear Bridgette repeat it, though. It sounds so wrong coming out of her.

* * *

Katie contorted her face. "Did he… just… say… did… what?"

"It's about now that I'm wishing Eva were still around," Bridgette stated coldly, glaring death at Chris.

"So do I," Cody said, irritated, but then let out a little smile. "I mean, I'd wish she were still around anyway, of course."

"Oh, come on, she's had that coming for a long, long time!" Chris whined, rolling his eyes. "You guys have to have noticed the way she's been treating me this whole season!"

"Maybe you kind of deserve it," Cody said, irritated.

"Nya nya nya nya nya nya!" Chris mocked, moving his hand like a puppet, then blew a raspberry. "I don't even know why you're defending him."

"Katie's a girl," Bridgette stated coldly, still glaring at Chris.

Chris shrugged. "An easy mistake to make. I mean, Lindsay's obviously sexy. Bridgette, you're not that pretty, but you're still obviously a girl. Heck, Cody looks more like a girl than Katie does, seriously!"

"Thanks a lot," Cody said, rolling his eyes.

"Why are we even getting off the topic, anyway?" Chris asked, annoyed. "You guys get sidetracked way too easily. The point of the challenge is to humiliate Katie!"

"That's a horrible challenge!" Bridgette shouted.

"What?" Chris asked, shrugging. "Just promise you won't kill Katie. Or almost kill Katie. Legal had a fit with the poison challenge, and I don't really want to repeat of that."

"I'd almost rather that challenge again," Bridgette stated, narrowing her eyes.

"You only say that because you didn't actually have to suffer from the poison," Chris said tauntingly.

"Yes I did!" Bridgette yelled, then turned to Katie, worried. "Are you OK?" Bridgette asked softly.

"I don't know," Katie whispered, staring blankly ahead.

"Which of you is going to go first?" Chris asked, rubbing his forehead. "Remember that the person who humiliates the poor boy the best wins invincibility!"

"I'm not doing it," Bridgette said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm not either," Cody said, pissed.

"Thanks, guys," Katie said, letting out a little smile.

"Cut it out!" Chris yelled, stomping his foot, then grumbled to himself. "Fine! Since you're being uncooperative, I'll be forced to eliminate you all, and no one wins, so ha! I get the last laugh! I--" Chris was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. "What?!" Chris answered. "What do you mean I can't--OK! OK, fine, sheesh!" Chris angrily slammed his phone closed. "The producer told me to quit acting like a baby and just make a new challenge for you guys, so leave me alone! I need to work!" Chris was rubbing his forehead. "And wake up the beautiful idiot! What's she doing still asleep, anyway?!"

"She's still--oh no, we forgot to wake Lindsay up!" Bridgette cried out.

"Is it really a bad thing that she missed this?" Cody asked, shrugging.

Bridgette tapped her chin. "Good point, but still, we don't want her to miss the replacement challenge.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (with Katie leaning on her shoulder) I really can't believe… of all the things… just when I think Chris can't go any lower, he does!  
Katie: Thank you.  
Bridgette: Really, what did you ever do that the rest of us didn't also do to him?  
Katie: Thank you.  
Bridgette: He's a bad man!

Chris: She stole my megaphone! And she and Sadie are the least popular characters according to viewer polls! And she's just more obnoxious than Sadie is! And my nuts, ow, my nuts!

* * *

_Lindsay was sitting on the bed in her sister Paula's room, looking worried, as Paula entered._

"_What are you doing in my room?!" Paula yelled. "Get out!"_

"_I wasn't touching your makeup, I promise!" Lindsay cried out, hurrying over to hug Paula tight. "I was scared."_

_Paula nervously looked down at Lindsay. "I'm going to make sure you haven't touched my makeup, and I know exactly how I left it, but why are you scared?"_

_Lindsay nervously looked up at Paula. "Well, Daddy saw my report card."_

_Paula sighed. "I thought you were going to wait for me to get home."_

"_Well, yeah," Lindsay said, rubbing the back of her neck, "but I thought it was really important that I could do it by myself. That was a mistake."_

"_You tried, I guess?" Paula asked, unsure of what to say._

"_Remember how in that movie Clue, how Shay was able to sweet talk her teachers into giving her better grades?" Lindsay asked, smiling nervously._

"_Please tell me you didn't actually try that," Paula said, shaking her head._

"_It didn't really work," Lindsay said. "They even gave me detentions for trying to bribe the teachers, and more for stupidity."_

"_You're kidding," Paula said, rubbing her forehead. "I mean, not about the bribery ones, but stupidity? Seriously?"_

"_Daddy found out about that, too," Lindsay said, tearing up a bit. "It might not have been the best time to show Daddy my report card."_

_Paula smiled. "Can I see it?"_

"_OK," Lindsay said, nervously handing Paula her report card. "Please don't get angry."_

"_I'm your sister, why would I--oh, never mind," Paula said, taking a look. "An F in history, an F in biology--"_

"_I __**do not **__like Mr. Jones," Lindsay stated coldly._

_Paula looked uneasy. "Well, you got his name right!"_

"_Out of mortal fear for my life," Lindsay stated, shuddering._

_Paula continued looking at the report card. "A C in algebra. That's not bad."_

"_Not good enough for Daddy," Lindsay said, looking embarrassed._

"_Hey!" Paula exclaimed. "You got an A in gym--"_

"_Doesn't count as a real subject," Lindsay said._

"_You should still be proud of it," Paula said, patting Lindsay on the back. "You'll get through it!"_

_Lindsay sighed, then looked down. "Daddy said he's going to kick me out of the house if I turn eighteen and I don't do better."_

_Paula rolled her eyes. "Look, I'll help you out if that happens, OK? Just try not to worry too much, lil' sis."_

_Lindsay glomped her sister. "Thank you," Lindsay softly cried out._

"_Oh, and I told everyone about the time you ate Shelly's dog's vomit, thinking it was some sort of new dessert." Paula smirked at her sister._

_Lindsay ducked down, embarrassed. "I figured it out after I took one bite. Was that for the diarrhea thing?"_

"_We're even now," Paula said, smiling warmly, hugging her sister._

"_Don't leave me, please," Lindsay said, tearing up._

* * *

"Wake up, Lindsay," Bridgette said, shaking Lindsay awake. "We kind of forgot to wake you up earlier." Bridgette backed down, nervously looking at the floor. "We all just kind of got used to Heather doing that."

"Urgh," Lindsay groaned, waking herself up from sleep, quite groggy, putting her hand to her head. "I just had the weirdest dream. For some reason, all of my grades were translated into American."

"I don't really know what that means," Bridgette said, confused. "I'll just have to trust you that it's weird."

Lindsay yawned. "Do you know what today's challenge is?"

Bridgette coughed, then smiled nervously. "Well, it was originally going to be the humiliate Katie--"

"No!" Lindsay yelled. "No, no, no!"

"Well, it's going to be changed to something else," Bridgette said, putting her hands in her pockets.

"What is it?" Lindsay asked, cocking her head.

Bridgette shrugged. "We don't really know yet. Just that it's something besides humiliating Katie."

Lindsay hid her head under her blanket. "I hope it's not humiliating me."

"I… don't think it will be," Bridgette said, chuckling nervously. "Anyway, you wouldn't believe what he did to poor Katie."

"Wow," Lindsay said, peeking out from under her blanket, wide-eyed. "I can't believe he'd do that!"

"I… didn't say what he did yet," Bridgette said, playing with her ponytail.

"Oh…" Lindsay said, seeming dazed. "You were just so convincing, though."

Bridgette smiled. "Why don't I just tell you."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (with his arms crossed over his chest) So they think they've pulled one over on ol' Chris, do they? Well then, they've got another thing coming!

* * *

Bridgette, Cody, Katie, and Lindsay were standing before Chris, near the Dock of Shame. Chris was standing next to a treasure chest on a raised platform. "Next to me, you will find a treasure chest," Chris said, with his ever-present plastic smile.

"Ooh, it's right there!" Lindsay exclaimed, bouncing up and down in excitement, pointing to the chest. "So since I found it first, do I win immobility?"

"Not quite," Chris said, smirking. "You have to find the key that opens this chest, and then you'll get whatever's inside!" Chris threw his arms into the air.

"So the immortality is inside the chest?" Lindsay asked, putting her finger to her lip, confused.

"No, other gifts," Chris said. "You get the invincibility just for opening the chest."

"Is that so?" Lindsay asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You know, it's really freaky when you do that, but yes, that is so," Chris said, uncomfortable. "Which ever team opens the chest wins invincibility!"

"Ooh, we're on teams?" Lindsay asked, in awe.

"Yes," Chris said, irritated. "Lindsay and Bridgette, you two are on team B."

"But my name doesn't start with B," Lindsay said, scratching her bandanna. "I'm pretty sure that Lisa starts with L."

"Who's Lisa?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"Me… aren't I?" Lindsay asked, then slapped her own face in frustration. "Lindsay, Lindsay, duh, I can't believe I did that again."

Bridgette chuckled to herself. "You're catching on, at least."

"Team B stands for Team Bodacious Beautiful Blonde Babes," Chris replied.

"I really don't like the name," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes.

Chris sighed. "Yes, I know you're not really beautiful, Bridgette, but the pickings here are slim, and you are the second hottest girl left in this competition."

"Katie's beautiful," Bridgette said, smiling at her friend.

"Aww, you're so nice!" Katie said, glomping Bridgette.

"No, she's really not," Chris said, shaking his head. "Anyway, Cody and Katie, you're on Team C."

"C for Cool Calm and Collected Codemeister and Compadre?" Cody asked, smiling.

"Um… no, ego much?" Chris asked, shuddering.

"You're one to speak," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"It's Team C for Team Cody and Cadie," Chris said, hitting his forehead with the bottom of his palm. "I mean, really."

"But Katie doesn't start with a C," Katie said, a bit flustered.

"When I take over the planet, that's the way everyone is going to spell your name!" Chris said, followed by maniacal laughter.

"You can't change my name to Cadie with a C," Cadie said, nervous. "It's a K! A K!"

"Not anymore, and there's nothing you can do about it, ha ha!" Chris exclaimed, but then received a call from his cell phone. "Stupid thing always going off," Chris said, as he took out his phone and answered it. "What this time?" Chris looked up to the sky in frustration as someone on the other end was yelling incoherently at him. "Fine, fine!" Chris yelled, then slammed shut the phone again. "I really need to fire Emily for retrieving my phone for me. Anyway, legal says we can't change your name to Cadie."

"Because Katie with a K is my name and you're not my legal guardian?" Katie asked, smirking.

"Actually, no," Chris said, irritated. "Legal said there's some show with brothers and sisters competing against each other that already tried that stunt, and that they're going to sue if I change your name to Cadie with a C."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Yay for the producers," she said sarcastically, weakly waving a finger into the air in small circles.

"I hate that stupid K!" Chris whined. "Reminds me of your ugly face! But irregardless--"

"That's still not a word," Katie said, rolling her eyes again.

"Legal didn't make me stop using that one, so nya!" Chris gave Katie a raspberry. "Go." The four contestants looked at Chris confused, except for Lindsay, who started to walk off, but realized Bridgette wasn't following.

"Bridgette, he said go," Lindsay said. "We need to open that chest!"

"And then maybe I can open your chest," Chris said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"What was that?!" Lindsay yelled, glaring at Chris.

"Uh, I said maybe I can open your Crest. You know, like the toothpaste?"

Lindsay blinked, then looked embarrassed. "Oh, sorry, I misheard! Darn, I need a hearing extermination."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I kinda' feel bad for Lindsay. She's just kinda' ditzy a lot, and doesn't even notice things like Chris' cringe-worthy comments.

Lindsay: (angry, with her arms crossed over her chest) For the record, I know exactly what that pervert said. I didn't really feel like arguing with him over lusting over a seventeen year old, though. It was a losing battle. (Lindsay lets a small smile cross her face, and she turns red.) I am hot, though.

* * *

"So, the forest?" Cody asked.

Katie shrugged. "Sounds as good a place as any other to me." Katie and Cody headed for the forest.

"Maybe it's on the beach?" Bridgette asked.

"No," Lindsay said, grinning wide. "I know **exactly **where we need to go."

"Are you sure?" Bridgette asked, rubbing her arm. "I mean, I know sometimes--"

"How many challenges have I won this season?" Lindsay asked, putting her hands on her hips and raising an eyebrow. "How many 'how did Leshawna get Heather voted off' plots did I solve?"

"Um… one?" Bridgette asked, scratching her head.

"I know where we need to go," Lindsay said, smiling bright, and holding out her hand. "Trust me on this."

Bridgette looked unsure, but then shook Lindsay's hand. "All right, I'll trust you."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (shrugging) It's not like I really had much of a plan, anyway.

* * *

"And it looks like Team B is going to lose," Chris said, then laughed cruelly as Bridgette and Lindsay passed by.

"Are not!" Lindsay yelled.

"If you're leading, you don't have a prayer," Chris said, then shrugged. "Besides, I'm sure Katie's going to find a way to win just to spite me. She's a lot better at that than I like giving her credit for."

"Why not just leave Kelly alone?" Lindsay asked, annoyed.

"Why don't you just shut the hell up, ha, good one, Chris one, Lindsay zero!" Chris did a little dance shaking his hips in celebration. Lindsay and Bridgette rolled their eyes and walked away. "And so who's going to find the key and open the chest?" Chris angrily crossed his arms over his chest. "And when did Lindsay become such a prude, anyway?" Chris put back on his smile. "Find out the answer to these questions, or at least the first one, when we come back with more _Total Drama Katie Sucks!" _Chris chuckled to himself. "You know, it really is fun to do that! I can almost understand why everyone else does it. Except they keep replacing it with things that suck." Chris shrugged. "What do they know, anyway? They're just stupid teens."


	49. Day 23, Part 2: Adrenalindsay

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 49: Day 23: Part 2: Adrenalindsay**

Chris was relaxing outside his trailer, along with Emily, both snug in a long folding chair.

"You're so comfy," Emily cooed, wrapping her arms around Chris, lying there.

Chris looked comfortable, but suddenly perked up and knocked her out of the chair, leaving her a bit sore as she hit the ground. "Oh, hi!" Chris announced, smiling for the camera. "As you probably remember, the contestants were picking on me before the commercial break, and wouldn't let me go through with my original challenge idea."

"It was kind of mean," Emily said, lying on the ground.

"You don't get paid to talk!" Chris yelled.

"I don't get paid," Emily said.

"Shut up!" Chris yelled, then turned back to the camera, smiling. "Still, the producers made me come up with another challenge. One that would get them out of my hair for a few hours." Chris shrugged. "I'm pulling for the hot team." Chris tapped his chin. "Well, hotter team. 'Cause Bridgette ain't hot, but I'd do her before Cody and Katie, still. Assuming I better understood those stupid age of consent laws. She's almost eighteen, anyway. All I need to do is wait a few months, and presto! Though I'm not sure why I'd even bother when Lindsay's the nicer prize, anyway." Chris continued tapping his chin. "I wouldn't mind a threesome, though."

"I don't think Zoe would go for that," Emily said, still on the ground.

Chris slapped his face in frustration. "I'm not talking to you, old hag!"

"Sorry," Emily said, tearing up a little.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Zoe: I have a sudden urge to kill Chris, like, really hard.

* * *

"This is so lame," Katie complained, picking up the blue rock in the forest. "I'm almost surprised there's no key there."

"Under an out-of-place blue rock?" Cody asked, confused. "Why would Chris put the key under that?"

Katie rolled her eyes. "Because Chris has no imagination, and likes to repeat challenges. Seriously, how many of these 'go off and find a random object hidden on the island' challenges will Chris use?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (with his arms crossed over his chest) It's your own fault for refusing the 'humiliate Katie' challenge! That would've been different and fresh, but **no! **You pansies refused!

* * *

Cody blinked. "Have there been that many?"

"This is like the fifth one," Katie said, irritated. "No creativity, like, at all."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Six, Katie, six. I'm pretty sure she forgot about the "find the yellow balls" challenge, 'cause she's an idiot, ha ha, good one, Chris!

* * *

Bridgette was looking around the storage shed, fairly aimlessly, while Lindsay looked like she had purpose in mind. "I… guess the key could be hidden in all this junk?" Bridgette asked, disgusted as she picked up an oily rag.

"We aren't looking for the key," Lindsay said, smirking. "Chris said the team who opens the chest wins." Lindsay blew away some hair that was getting in her face. "He didn't say we needed to use the key."

"Are you sure that's going to count?" Bridgette asked, concerned. "I'm pretty sure he meant to open it with the key."

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Chris lives and breathes on the loophole. And so are--aha!" Lindsay took several red sticks out from a box.

"Dynamite really looks like that?" Bridgette asked, a bit surprised. "I dunno', so long and red, it looks so--"

"Dirty, dirty mind, Bridgette!" Lindsay scolded, waving a finger at Bridgette.

"…I was going to say cartooned," Bridgette said, looking a bit disgusted.

"Oh," Lindsay said, ducking back a bit, with a guilty smile. "I'm sorry for putting that imagine in your head."

Bridgette shook her head. "It's OK. Really." Bridgette half-smiled. "Does blowing it up really count as opening the chest, though?"

"I dunno'," Lindsay said, air-headedly. "I'm pretty sure the chest isn't going to blow up, though." Lindsay put her finger to her mouth. "At least, I don't think."

"So, why are we doing this?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"To blow off the lock, silly," Lindsay said, beaming, though started sounding more sinister as she went on. "We blow off the lock, the chest opens, and we win the challenge, and rub it in Chris' face, sending him back to the depths from which he came!"

Bridgette giggled a bit. "What, no maniacal laughter?"

Lindsay waved her hand dismissively to Bridgette. "Too cliché."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: People really need to quit calling Lindsay stupid. I mean, it's really mean, but she's also really smart, and I don't think she even realizes it.

Lindsay: (peeing while standing, hitting the floor, largely blurred out) Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that this only works if you're a boy.

Chris: (looking freaked out, with his legs held up in the air) **Chef!**

* * *

"I don't really want to check it out," Cody said, standing beside Katie, looking worriedly into the bear cave. "That bear has it out for me."

"It's a bear," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "They're stupid. It's not going to remember you."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Da' Bear: (looks around, dumbfounded, then takes out a stuffed Cody doll, bites its head off, and contentedly chews it)

* * *

"And how many bears do you know who have a pair of glasses?" Cody asked, raising an eyebrow. "Or wear human clothing?"

Katie looked down. "Yeah, the bear really couldn't pull off our look. I guess it's not just a normal bear, maybe."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Da' Bear: (sleeping, snoring loudly)

* * *

Katie pushed her hair back and glared inside the cave. "If I don't make it out alive, you can have Noah."

"Uh, sure," Cody said, shifting his eyes. Katie undid her pigtails to put her hair in a short ponytail. "What was that for?" Cody asked.

"To make me look more actiony!" Katie exclaimed, pumping her fist. "Action girls always wear their hair in a ponytail for some reason."

"You're fighting the bear?!" Cody shouted, nervous.

"Well, if I have to, yeah," Katie said, looking strangely toward Cody. "If Izzy's done it, how hard can it be?"

"I don't remember Izzy ever mentioning fighting a bear," Cody said.

Katie shrugged. "I'm sure she has a bear-fighting story in her somewhere." Katie started walking into the cave, then turned her head back. "Good luck!"

"But I'm not the one going into the cave," Cody mentioned, confused.

"And I'm not the one who the bear's gotten a taste for," Katie said, smirking, then turned back toward the cave.

Cody looked nervous as he was waiting for several minutes, when someone tapped him on his shoulder from behind him, making him nervous. "I really hope that's Lindsay or Bridgette," Cody said, slowly turning his head and--

"**Roar!**" the bear roared, knocking Cody back a bit.

"Good bear, nice bear," Cody said, walking backwards, and picking up a stick he saw on the ground, waving it in front of the bear. "Look boy! Get the stick, boy!" Cody said, throwing the stick past the bear.

The bear looked at the landing spot, shrugged, then roared at Cody again.

"OK, think, Cody, think." Cody tapped his chin, then put out his left foot and started singing, with a shaky voice. "You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out, you put your left foot in and you shake it all about--"

The bear swiped at Cody's foot, tripping him, and roared at him again.

"Climb a tree, you idiot!" Katie screamed, and hurried and grabbed Cody's arm, and climbed a nearby tree before the bear even realized Cody was gone.

"You're pretty good at this," Cody said.

"Me and Sadie used to climb trees all the time," Katie said, making herself comfortable on a branch. "The bear'll get bored and leave soon.

"That took a really long time last season," Cody said. "Say, I don't suppose the key was in the cave, was it?"

Katie shook her head. "The Sasquatchanakwa said Chris hadn't bothered him today."

Cody nodded. "Ah, well at least--wait, wait! It talks?!"

"Uh, duh," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "I mean, he is supposedly the missing link between man and ape, so why not?"

"I… guess that makes sense?" Cody asked, a bit confused. "But he didn't try to hurt you or anything?"

"I think he liked me," Katie said, blushing.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: So the Sasquatchanakwa thinks I'm pretty! Take that Chris!

Chris: So a stupid sub-human thinks you're pretty. Big deal! No actual human would agree! Oh, and Noah's just desperate because he's such a huge dork that no decent girl would want him.

Sasquatchanakwa: Katie most beautiful yeti me ever see!

* * *

Lindsay stuck the dynamite right in front of the lock for the chest, wiring it to the detonator.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Bridgette asked, concerned, a fair distance away.

"Sure!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling brightly. "I've seen them do this in cartoons all the time! It's perfectly--oops!" Lindsay had tripped, and fallen onto the detonator, pushing the plunger down.

"Bridgette, get me Nurse Chef!" Lindsay cried out in pain.

"Uh, Lindsay," Bridgette said, trying to suppress chuckling to herself, "the dynamite didn't go off."

"Bridgette, this is seri--wait, what?" Lindsay asked, looking as if her brain broke. Lindsay looked up, and sure enough, the dynamite was in tact. Lindsay looked confused, scratching her bandanna, looking at the detonator, then looking back at the in-tact dynamite. Lindsay looked down. "It didn't work," she said, frowning.

"Uh, Lindsay, that's a good thing!" Bridgette exclaimed, smiling bright. "You're OK--wait, stop that!"

Lindsay started furiously pushing the plunger up and down rapidly, then started jumping up and down on it, eventually tiring out, then bending down to the detonator's level. "I hate you."

"Lindsay, you're going to kill yourself doing that!" Bridgette scolded, going over to pull Lindsay away. "So, what now?"

Lindsay started tapping her chin in thought, then glared at the chest. She grew a big grin as a light bulb appeared over her head, falling from the sky, hitting her. "Ow!" Lindsay rubbed her head, and looked at the light bulb on the ground.

"OK, that was freaky," Bridgette said, looking nervously at the bulb. "Where did that come from, anyway?"

* * *

"Some people would call that littering," Billy said to Phil, riding in the hot air balloon.

"Hey, if you get paid enough by Chris to properly recycle these things, you can be my guest," Phil said, shrugging.

Billy rolled his eyes. "You could've at least threw it in a trash can."

"This is more fun, though!" Phil said, excitedly looking at the light bulb dropping.

* * *

Katie was scaling the thousand-foot cliff, while Cody was watching from the ground below. "Are you sure it's worth it?" Cody called out to Katie, pretty high up the side of the cliff.

"If we want to live, then yes!" Katie called back. "Really wish we had some sort of clue as to where the key was."

"Maybe Chris just randomly left it lying in plain sight?" Cody called back. "Maybe I should check the beach."

"Maybe!" Katie yelled. "You check the obvious! But Chris could've hid it in a tricky spot, too!"

"OK!" Cody yelled, searching along the beach. "Gotta' find the… uh…" Cody trailed off as he came face to face with the bear again, looking pissed.

"Climb up the mountain!" Katie yelled, down to Cody.

"I don't have any equipment!" Cody yelled back.

"Oh yeah, that would help," Katie said, as she untied herself, and let herself go, falling to the ground, and right on the bear.

"What did you do that for?!" Cody asked. "You're going to get yourself killed!"

Katie turned red. "I was kinda' thinking that I'd squash the bear if I fell on top of it?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I don't mean to say that I wish I had Sadie's weight problem, even though I'd totally trade weight with her if I could, even though I really really wish we could both be skinny, but I could've really used Sadie's weight just then. Sadie could've squished that mean ol' bear something good!

* * *

Katie and Cody were clinging to another tree, as the bear was growling at them from the ground below. "Any other bright ideas?" Katie asked, rolling her eyes.

"You've been the one coming up with all these ideas," Cody said.

"I know, I was asking that to myself," Katie said, smiling bright, which went away when she saw Cody looking out of it. Katie gave Cody a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. "That ought to help keep you going, some lovin' from a hot girl." Katie smiled innocently. "You like it, right?"

Cody nodded. "Don't know if Noah will, but, well, yeah."

"You've got three hot chicks here with you!" Katie exclaimed. "And hopefully, you'll still have two hot chicks here with you by the end of the day!"

"There's still that bear, though," Cody said, as the bear decided to growl at them again.

Katie sighed. "Guess we've gotta' wait again."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: I don't really understand why Chris doesn't like Katie. You wouldn't know it from watching the first season, but she's pretty cool in her own way. Kind of like a certain Codemeister, not to brag. (Cody pauses for a second.) Well, maybe a little.

Sasquatchanakwa: I like Katie because she's so hideous, just like me, and--  
(The confessional door is thrown open, and a second Sasquatchanakwa is standing before the first breathing heavily.)  
Sasquatchanakwa: (the first one, in Chris' voice) Uh, hey. I was just... um, bye! (Chris bolted out of the outhouse like lightning.)

* * *

Lindsay was writing something on a piece of paper, and handed it to Bridgette. "Read this."

Bridgette looked at the piece of paper, and scratched her head. "It's kind of illegible."

"It's legal, I promise!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling bright.

Bridgette blinked in confusion. "I meant I can't really read your handwriting." Lindsay sighed, then whispered something in Bridgette's ear, and Bridgette's face lit up. "Lindsay, have you seen my chocolate bar?" Bridgette asked, very over-the-top. "I can't find it anywhere."

"I saw it in that chest," Lindsay said, much more naturally than Bridgette, pointing to the dynamite-covered chest.

"I would do anything to get my chocolate bar back," Bridgette said, once again, overly over-the-top. "If someone could get the chocolate bar out for me, I'd even let them--"

"Eat the chocolate bar?" Owen asked, drooling right behind Bridgette, who leapt forward, crashing into Lindsay, knocking them both down.

"Yes," Lindsay said, picking herself up from off the ground, dusting herself off, then walking over to the chest, trying to force it open.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I felt bad about lying to Oswald about the chocolate bar, but we needed to win!  
Bridgette: After stealing my chocolate, I think we deserve a little bit of payback.  
Lindsay: (in shock) Bridgette! That's… that's like bad! You're never bad!  
Bridgette: I really wanted the chocolate, too. (Bridgette sniffles, taking out a tissue.) It looked so good!  
Lindsay: You'll get it tonight, I promise!

* * *

"Pushing pancakes, let me at it!" Owen exclaimed, rushing over to the chest and tearing the lid off, and throwing it into the lake, almost taking Lindsay along with it, though she let go just in time. He then removed something from the chest and ate it. "Thanks guys, that was delicious!" Owen casually started walking away, while Lindsay and Bridgette stared at each other, dumbfounded.

"There was… there really was a chocolate bar in there?" Bridgette asked, in shock.

"Well, I usually am kind of slow," Lindsay said, scratching her head. "I must have forgot that Kyle said there was chocolate in there."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (irritated) Great! Just great! I had this big thing planned where I was going to do this big on-air plug for Nestlé, and Owen just up and eats the thing and only getting it on camera for a thirtieth of a second?! And not even getting the label on camera?! Dude, not cool. Not cool at all.

Bridgette: (holding her nose) Owen did leave a present behind for us. I guess that was karma paying us back for lying about the chocolate.  
Lindsay: (gagging) But we weren't lying!  
Bridgette: By pure accident.  
Lindsay: (crossing her arms over her chest, pouting) Stupid karma.

* * *

"Why were you trying to open it, anyway?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"Just making sure Kyle doesn't try the old 'Omar wasn't on your team so technically you didn't open the chest' loophole," Lindsay said, grinning. "Since I was helping open it, he can't use that excuse."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I will never understand how Lindsay's mind works. One minute, she's trying to blow herself up, the next she's outmaneuvering Chris! (Bridgette smiles bright.) She may just make it.

* * *

Lindsay looked inside the chest. "Presents?"

"Presents?" Bridgette asked back.

"Yeah, there's presents in here," Lindsay said, taking out a small box that had "Bridgette" written on it. "I guess that's for you. And I--"

"Hold it!" Chris yelled out, making a time-out hand signal. "Those aren't for you to open yet, and… where's the top to the chest?"

"We removed it," Lindsay said, grinning.

"You weren't supposed to do that!" Chris yelled, holding his head in frustration. "You were supposed to find the key to open it!"

"But that's not what you said," Lindsay answered. "You just said we had to open it."

"That's not what I--wait, what's with the dynamite?"

"That didn't work," Lindsay said, turning red with embarrassment.

Chris shook his head. "Whatever, you weren't supposed to yank the lid off, or blow it off, for that matter. You were just supposed to find the key to unlock and open it!"

"But that's not what you said," Lindsay said, smirking. "I'm sure Courtney's lawyer--"

"Fine! Fine! Team B wins! You're both invincible!" Chris yelled, angry. "But no presents until Cody and Katie get back. After all, I have a special reward for you all, for making it to the final four."

"And by special, you mean horrible," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes.

"You'll like this one," Chris said, grinning. "Trust me."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I trust Chris about as far as I can throw him.  
Lindsay: (looking in awe) You can throw Chip? Wow….  
Bridgette: Uh, no, actually, I can't.  
Lindsay: But you just said you can trust him as far as you can throw him.  
Bridgette: And I can't throw him at all.  
Lindsay: (looking blank)  
Bridgette: …meaning I can't trust him at all.  
Lindsay: (looking blank for several seconds) Ohh….  
Bridgette: You… don't really get it, do you?  
Lindsay: (looking down) I'm sorry.  
Bridgette: (patting Lindsay on the back) It's OK, really. I just meant that I don't trust Chris.  
Lindsay: (looking up, smiling) I understood that, at least. And I don't trust him, either.

* * *

"I don't know about this," Cody said, shifting his eyes around as Katie searched high and low through Chef's kitchen. "Chef's going to kill us if he finds us in here."

"And you'd rather face the bear again," Katie said, raising an eyebrow toward Cody.

"Good point," Cody said, looking around the kitchen, albeit more casually than Katie was. Cody opened the refrigerator.

"**Roar!**" the bear roared, stuffed inside the refrigerator, wearing a chef's hat, knocking Cody down.

"The bear was in the re--why am I even asking?" Katie said, looking up to the ceiling in disbelief. "And why did it say 'roar'? So bears talk too, now?"

"That seems to be the only word it can say," Cody said, backing up slowly, until Katie took his hand and darted with him out of the kitchen. The bear gave chase, until Katie slammed the door in its face. "That actually stopped it?" Cody asked, confused. The bear broke through the door, growling again.

"No, it didn't!" Katie yelled, as the two climbed up to the roof of the mess hall, with the bear looking up at them.

"I'm getting really tired of this," Cody said, irritated.

"Heh… sorry," Katie said sweetly, shrugging, then frowned when she looked over toward the Dock of Shame. "It looks like Lindsay and Bridgette already found the key."

"Already?" Cody asked, then looked toward the Dock of Shame, and saw Bridgette, Lindsay, and an angry Chris, with an open chest. "Guess we lose?"

"Maybe you'll still get to hang with two hot girls?" Katie asked, uneasy.

Chef ran out of the mess hall, hitting the bear on the head with a frying pan, causing it to run away. "Nobody, but nobody messes with **my kitchen!**" Chef shouted, then went back inside.

Cody and Katie looked at each other uneasy. "Was… was Chef in there the whole time we were searching?" Cody asked. "Does he know we were in there?"

"Probably taking a nap," Katie said, as she climbed down the mess hall, then held out her hands. "I'll catch you!"

Cody gulped, looking over the side of the roof. "OK." Cody jumped down, and landed on Katie, flattening her.

"You're heavier than you look," Katie said. "Or maybe I just need a little more meat on me."

"You look great just the way you are," Cody said, smirking.

"Right answer," Katie said, smirking back.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Wouldn't be so damn skinny if the girl would eat when serve dinner! And lunch! And breakfast! Girl shouldn't be complainin' if she won't eat!

* * *

"I guess we lost," Cody said, as he and Katie approached Bridgette, Lindsay, and Chris. "Guess they found the key."

"Yes, you two lost," Chris said, irritated. "They did not find the key, though. They cheated to open the chest." Chris stuck his tongue out at Bridgette and Lindsay.

"Cheated?" Cody asked, confused.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with the dynamite?" Katie asked, smirking. "Good idea, Bridgette. Or Lindsay… which of you was it?"

"It was Lindsay, but that's not how she opened it," Bridgette said, smiling.

"I used the power of Omar!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming.

"The power of what?" Cody asked, confused.

"Omar," Lindsay said, getting a little lost. "You know, that really big guy who's oppressed with food?"

"Oh, Owen," Cody said.

"Yeah, him," Lindsay said, beaming still.

"For the record, I don't approve of their tactics," Chris said, irritated. "My hands are tied if I don't want to get Courtney's lawyer's involved, though. And I really, really don't want them getting involved."

"Well, you played a good game," Cody said to Katie, smiling.

"We both did," Katie said, smiling back, then turned to Chris, looking a bit more irritated. "Where **was** the stupid key, anyway?"

"Oh, that," Chris said, nonchalantly looking at his fingernails. "I forgot to hide it."

"You're kidding," Katie deadpanned.

"Well, it was a last-minute challenge," Chris said. "You can't expect me to get every little detail right at the last minute."

"So the only way anyone could've won was by so-called 'cheating,'" Bridgette said, irritated, using air quotes.

"Well… yeah, I guess," Chris said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"And yet you were complaining about our so-called cheating to win, even though it was the only possible way for anyone to win!" Bridgette yelled, throwing her hands into the air.

"Yeah, what's your point?" Chris asked, uninterested.

Bridgette rolled her eyes. "I don't know, maybe you shouldn't have complained about how we won?"

"Maybe you should've just gone with the 'Humiliate Katie' challenge?" Chris asked, pouting. "Huh? Ever think of that?"

"No," Bridgette stated coldly.

Chris shrugged. "Irregardless, for making it to the final four, I figured you guys deserved something nice." Chris threw wrapped boxes to Bridgette, Lindsay, Cody, and Katie, each with their name on it.

"Money!" Bridgette said, excited, after opening her present, and counting the money. "A thousand dollars just for making it to the final four?"

"See?" Chris whined. "I can be nice!"

"I got a thousand bucks, too," Cody said, excited. "Even though our team lost?"

"Don't complain, just accept," Chris said, rubbing his forehead.

"I got money, too!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming. "One, two… I got ten dollars!"

Chris slapped his face in frustration. "Um, it's a thousand, Lindsay."

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Uh, no, it's ten. I know how to count to ten."

Bridgette held back from giggling. "He means each one is worth a hundred. So ten times a hundred--"

"Ten hundred!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming. "I can do some math… but is ten hundred more or less than the one thousand you guys have?"

"It's the same, actually," Bridgette said, again suppressing her giggling.

"Then why does it have two names?" Lindsay asked, confused. "That's dumb."

"Yes you are," Chris answered, grinning.

Katie screamed, and threw down her present in horror. "A dead skunk?! You gave me a dead skunk?!"

"Ha!" Chris went, pointing at Katie with a cruel look on his face. "Got you, you stupid little--wait, what? Dead skunk?"

"Uh, yeah," Katie said, glaring at Chris. "I mean, you should know, you put it in there."

"Actually, no," Chris said, slapping his face in frustration again. "I put a **live **skunk in there." Chris shook his head in frustration. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it was awesome seeing you freak out like that, but it would've been one thousand times better if the skunk was still alive, and it sprayed you when you opened it, ha ha!"

Bridgette whacked Chris' head with her empty present back. "That's cruel! You killed a poor, defenseless skunk for a stupid childish prank?!"

"I didn't mean to kill it!" Chris shouted, irritated. "It must've gotten too hot in that chest, I guess."

"It didn't occur to you to, I dunno', not put a poor skunk in a situation where it could've easily died?!"

Chris shrugged. "It was a skunk. No one really cares. Heck, I'm surprised you're defending the skunk's honor, considering what they did to you last year."

"Well," Bridgette started, uneasy, "I mean, I didn't want to kill it."

"What about it being cruel because of traumatizing me?" Katie asked, crossing her arms over her chest, irritated.

Bridgette hurried over and hugged Katie. "Sorry about that, it's just… well, you weren't killed mercilessly." Bridgette smiled sweetly. "And it's not like you got sprayed."

"I guess," Katie said, smiling back.

Chris moved his hand as if it were a puppet. "Blah blah blah, no one really cares, just be ready to vote someone off tonight, either Katie or Cody."

Lindsay's eyes grew wide, then she glared at Chris. "That was really mean what you did to Kelly!"

"Little late to the party, we've already established that," Chris stated flatly, rolling his eyes.

"Oh," Lindsay said weakly, looking down.

"Hey, if you want to defend me, I'm all for it," Katie said, giving Lindsay a thumbs-up.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Cody: Katie's nice, but I don't really have a lot of choice here. My hands are tied, and I either have to vote her off, or myself, and I'd really like to win the million dollars, to be honest.

Katie: (frowning) Sorry Cody, but it has to be you or me, and I really really don't want it to be me!

Bridgette: Cody's nice, don't get me wrong, but Katie and I have been like BFFFLs since Sadie left, and you can't just betray your BFFFL like that.

Lindsay: (hitting her head as if she were stupid) What was his name? I know I screwed this up before, and I don't want the wrong person to go home again. (Lindsay taps her chin.) Candy, I think his name was? (Lindsay sighs.) I hope I get it right this time. I'm voting for Candy.

* * *

Bridgette, Cody, Katie, and Lindsay were sitting on their stumps, around the campfire that night, as Chris stood behind his podium. "You guys really suck, but you already knew that, I'm sure."

"I won the challenge fair and square," Lindsay stated smugly, crossing her arms over her chest, smirking at the host.

"Look, I didn't have time to cover up the loopholes!" Chris whined. "The challenge was kind of last minute, thanks to you guys!"

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Whatever, just give me my Gilded Chris." Lindsay held out her hand, waiting, not even really looking, as Chris threw a brick, causing Lindsay to fall to the ground, crying in pain.

"That should be a lesson to you guys not to tempt the host," Chris said, irritated. "It's also a good lesson that sometimes, beauty is only skin deep, and that a beautiful person can be completely ugly on the inside." Chris turned to Katie, glaring. "And some people are ugly both inside and outside."

"Like you," Katie retorted, glaring at Chris, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Nah, I'm studly on the outside," Chris said, smirking. "Anyway, Lindsay, Bridgette, you two are safe, obviously, even though Lindsay doesn't really deserve it." Chris threw chocolate Gilded Chrises to the two of them, one of which landed on Lindsay, still on the ground. Bridgette was prepared to catch the other one, but Owen leapt in her way, and caught it in his mouth.

"Owen!" Bridgette yelled, irritated. "I kind of wanted that!"

"I can't help it, they're so tasty goodness!" Owen exclaimed, looking guilty.

Bridgette looked down at Lindsay, and smiled nervously. "Lindsay, are you going to be eating that?"

Lindsay looked up as she was picking herself up from the ground. "I kind of wanted it, but it's probably better for my waistline not to eat the whole thing. We can share it!"

"Mind sharing it with me?" Owen asked, twiddling his fingers nervously.

"No!" Bridgette and Lindsay shouted in unison, as they split the chocolate in half.

"Oh, be nice to the poor guy!" Chris shouted. "I mean, after Lindsay was really mean to him and kicked him off a few weeks ago, you'd think she'd feel bad for him."

"Like you do," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes as she bit off the chocolate Chris' head.

"Yes, yes I do," Chris said, irritated. "Owen doesn't complain like some people do."

"I'm going to go hungry if you don't give me your chocolate," Owen whined, lying on the ground, reaching his hand upward, looking as if he were dying of thirst.

"Not complaining," Lindsay stated, with a mouthful of chocolate, as Owen was starting to cry. "Sure…."

"Shut up!" Chris whined, stomping his foot, then put his smile back on as he looked to Cody and Katie, and took out a final molded chocolate. "I have one Gilded Chris remaining. The one of you who receives this will be safe for tonight. The other of you must immediately walk the--"

"Blah blah blah, we understand it, sheesh," Katie said mockingly, using her hand as a puppet.

Chris grumbled to himself, then continued on. "There happened to be another tie in the voting today."

"There's no other team, though," Cody said, nervously looking around. "How did you break the tie this time? Choose the person you like more, I kind of hope?"

"Legal wouldn't let me do that," Chris stated. "Instead, I chose a person at random at the Playa' des Losers to choose between you and Katie."

"Wait, how was there a tie?" Lindsay asked, confused as she turned to Bridgette. "You would've never voted for Kelly, would you?"

"I voted for Cody," Bridgette said, glaring at Chris.

"I voted for Cody too," Lindsay said, tapping her chin.

"So did I," Katie said, glaring death at Chris.

"Lindsay most certainly did not vote for Cody," Chris stated, irritated, as he pulled out a final Gilded Chris.

Lindsay sighed. "I got Cody's name wrong again, didn't I? Too many people have C names, I swear."

"Actually, my name's with a K," Katie said, smiling nervously.

"May I continue, thanks," Chris said, not waiting for a reply. "Now the person who will receive this delicious chocolate, and remain in the competition, is…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Katie," Chris said, looking upset as he tossed Katie the final Gilded Chris. "You suck!" Chris yelled, then stormed off. "And Cody, tell Sadie she sucks too!"

* * *

**Confession Playa' des Losers Bathroom**

Sadie: For some reason, Chris was cursing up a storm when he told me that I was randomly picked to be the tiebreaker, and he kept complaining that it was rigged. I didn't really understand that, but I do know that it's a pretty easy choice for me. And even though Chris asked me who I'd like to join me here tonight, I am **not **falling for his tricky wording again this year! (Sadie narrows her eyes and grins deviously.) I would like **Cody **to join me here at the Playa' des Losers!

* * *

"I kind of like this," Cody said, his face turning red as he was being simultaneously hugged by Katie, Bridgette, and Lindsay.

"Goodbye, Cody," Bridgette said, kissing Cody's cheek. "You shall here forth be remembered as that guy who got to be alone with four hot girls."

"Aren't there only three of us?" Lindsay asked, scratching her bandanna. "Or did I miscount? I do that sometimes."

"Well, if you count Heather, it's four," Bridgette said, smiling.

"Oh, yeah," Lindsay said, smiling brightly. "She definitely counts!" Lindsay went over to kiss Cody on the cheek. "You're pretty cool and cute for a guy who isn't that hot."

"Hey!" Cody complained.

"You're a good kid," Katie said, smiling. "I thought you were pretty nice, really, and who knows! I might've grabbed ya' if it weren't for Noah." Katie looked dreamily to the sky. "My knight in shining armor, without whom I would be destined to die a lonely spinster." Katie looked to Cody, scratching her head. "Whom was right, wasn't it? Not who?"

"I… think?" Cody asked, shrugging. "But Noah's your--:"

Katie blew a raspberry. "Oh, please, no!" Katie exclaimed, waving her hand dismissively. "He's a nice guy, though. Well, not counting when he's mean, but there's a nice guy in there who really kept me company before Sadie got voted off last season." Katie grinned deviously. "Lots of fun to bug him!" Katie kissed Cody on the cheek. "Just hope Noah doesn't beat you up for that one." Katie winked.

"I don't think he could," Cody said. "I mean, he's probably the only guy here who couldn't."

Katie looked over at the Boat of Losers. "I guess this is normally the time when Chris would whine that we're taking too long, and to hurry up and get on the boat, blah blah bah."

Cody chuckled a bit. "Probably."

Katie narrowed her eyes. "But since Chris isn't here, we could have a final 'Cody gets to hang out with three hot girls' party!"

"I can't complain," Cody said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Yeah, I probably should've put a stop to that and hurried Cody along, but I didn't really feel like it.

Chef: I can complain! I been waiting on that boat for two hours to bring Cody back to the hotel! (Chef crosses his arms over his chest and pouts.) I got things I could be doin' now.

Chris: No, Chef, you really don't.

* * *

"Geoff's taught me a bit about how to party," Bridgette said, looking around. "Of course, he usually has to get the supplies from somewhere."

"Well I can always sing!" Lindsay exclaimed, then cleared her throat. "Wake up in the pouring when it's like three-fifty, crab grasses, out the store, I'm gonna' get my kitty--"

"We can do without music," Bridgette pleaded, covering her ears, as were Katie and Cody as well. "Please, we can do without the music!"

"Well, I know other songs, too," Lindsay said, smiling bright. "La la la la la la la, la la la la la la, la la la la la la la, la la la la la la--"

"Please stop?" Bridgette asked, looking sweetly at Lindsay.

"Couldn't you at least pick something you knew the words to?" Cody asked.

"Those are the words," Katie said, then turned to Lindsay. "Still though, seriously, no singing."

Lindsay sighed. "I guess, but it's not much of a party without music."

"Well, Owen's here, right?" Cody asked, seeming unsure. "Maybe he can get it started."

Bridgette looked around, confused. "Where is Owen, anyway? Wasn't he here a minute ago?" Everyone else shrugged.

* * *

"Down, Owen, down!" Heather yelled, stomping his head with her foot. "**My **chocolate bar! And I'm splitting it with Gwen!"

Owen stood up at put on a teal and black wig, and started speaking in a falsetto. "Hi, my name is Gwen, and I really like the dark and Halloween candy and dead things." Heather rolled her eyes, and started walking away. "Come on! I'm Gwen, see? I have Gwen's hair, and I have Gwen's voice, and other Gwen-like things!"

* * *

**Votes**

Bridgette: Cody  
Cody: Katie  
Katie: Cody  
Lindsay: Candy  
Tiebreaker (Sadie): Cody

Cody: 2 (3)  
Katie: 2

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel, Trent, Harold, Courtney, Gwen, Leshawna, Tyler, Heather, Cody

Remaining Contestants: Bridgette, Katie, Lindsay

* * *

Cody's gone. Sorry to the Cody fans out there, but it was meant to be. A mere three contestants remain, and one of those three will win a million dollars! Only five more chapters until we get to find out who wins that money! Little spoiler for those who really want to know: a girl is going to win. Sorry if I ruined it for you all!


	50. Day 24, Part 1: Blonde & Katie Plus Hate

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 50: Day 24: Part 1: Blonde and Katie Plus Hate**

"Final three! Final three!" Katie exclaimed, standing in front of the cabins, glomping Bridgette and Lindsay. "We're in the final three!"

"Turtle cupcakes jumping!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Chair bulldozer?"

Bridgette shook her head. "Oh, Lindsay, you're acting stupid again."

Lindsay looked down. "Clocks driving when around?"

Katie looked around nervously. "Well, final three, still. That's good, right?"

"Sure," Bridgette said, taking a large bite out of a half ham she had on a stick. "Chef's getting better."

"You're eating a ham?" Katie asked, worried.

"Yeah," Bridgette said, taking a soda can from behind her back and casually threw it on the ground. "I'm getting tired of this planet."

"But--but you love the earth!" Katie exclaimed.

"Yeah, but Chris is just going to destroy it anyway," Bridgette said, shrugging. "C'est la vie, and all."

"Say you will, say you won't, say you'll do what I don't," a group of singers started singing, appearing behind the group.

"B*Witched is back together?" Katie asked, thoroughly confused.

"That means the earth is doomed," Bridgette said, with her hands in her pockets. "Chris is going to destroy it."

"And that I am!" Chris exclaimed, appearing from nowhere behind Katie, grabbing her and tying her up, then placing her on a railroad track right there. Chris was twirling his moustache. "Now I've got you, and you're doomed! Doomed! And then the whole world will fall under my rule! Mwahahaha!"

"Clarinet!" Lindsay exclaimed, jumping up and down, pointing to the sky.

"Is it a bird?" Bridgette asked. "Is it a plane?"

"No!" Chris yelled in despair, holding his head in his hands. "It's the most beautiful woman in the world, Sadie!"

"And her sidekick, Noah!" Bridgette exclaimed.

"Can someone explain how I'm flying?" Noah stated.

"Just don't think," Sadie said, as she and Noah landed before Chris, who was twirling his moustache again.

"So, you think you've got me, eh?" Chris said. "Well it's too late! The train's already here, mwahahaha!" Chris pointed to the train, right behind the duo, but Sadie punched the train, causing it to disintegrate. Chris gulped. "Look, I can explain!"

"Explain this!" Sadie yelled, punching Chris through the earth, then posing her "muscles."

"My hero!" Katie exclaimed, glomping Noah after he untied her. Then she looked at Sadie. "Oh, and you too, sorry!" Katie hurried over and glomped Katie, and the two started squeeing. Noah joined in, and started squeeing with Katie and Sadie, which gave Katie pause. "Wait… Noah doesn't squee."

Sadie sighed, then looked down. "Just another dream?"

"Yeah," Katie said, looking down. "I'm going to really miss you when I wake up!"

"I'll miss you more!" Sadie cried out.

"I won't care, because I'm not real, and just a figment of your imagination," Noah stated.

Sadie elbowed Noah. "Can't you at least be happier in Katie's dream?"

"No," Noah stated.

* * *

Katie woke up, and noticed it was still dark outside. She walked over to the window, looking outside. _It's nice out there. _Katie then pouted a bit.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Everyone else gets important dreams! How come when I finally get one, it's really stupid and weird?

* * *

"Where did Owen even get a Gwen wig from?" Gwen asked, smiling bright, sitting on her bed.

Heather was leaning against a wall, filing her nails. "They have lots of specialty stores. Last season, before we went home, I was even considering getting a Gwen wig to post a Youtube video mocking you." Heather was smiling guiltily. "I promise that never went through, though!"

"Why did Owen get a Gwen wig, though?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's kind of creepy."

"Maybe it was lying around the hotel here?" Heather asked, shrugging. "I really don't know."

There was a knock in the door. "Come in," Gwen said.

A pale girl with crimson hair stuck her head in the room, peeking through the door. "Have you seen--oh, it's you," the girl said, rolling her eyes.

"Which of us 'yous' do you have a problem with?" Heather asked, glaring at the girl.

"Both of you yous… yous, OK, that's really stupid," the girl said, irritated. "OK, I'm sorry I lost my cool, I just really, really need to know where Izzy is."

"We don't really want to tell you," Gwen said, smirking.

"Urgh!" the girl complained. "You are so lame!" The girl glared at Heather. "And you are so evil incarnate!"

"**You!**" Eva screamed, sounding like she was in the hallway. The redhead looked out into the hallway, and ran off in fear. Gwen could see Eva rushing after her, not far behind. "Call me a psychotic muscle-bound lesbian, will you!"

Heather and Gwen stared at each other, confused. "Evil incarnate? Was that really necessary?" Heather asked, looking down.

"Well, maybe she hasn't seen you this season," Gwen said reassuringly. "She had a good question, though, where is Izzy? I haven't seen her since I got here."

Heather leaning against a nearby wall, filing her nails. "Isn't the next _Total Drama Izzy _coming up? Is Izzy coming back for that?"

"Don't really know," Gwen said, shrugging again. "She's Izzy. Who can tell? Who--" Gwen stopped short as she noticed someone walking past in the hallway. "**Leshawna!**" Gwen shouted, sounding angry. "In here, now!" Leshawna froze in her steps, then cautiously looked into Gwen's room.

"Should I leave?" Heather asked, looking worried.

"Stay, please," Gwen said, smiling at Heather, then looked over to Leshawna, and quickly leapt from her bed and glomped Leshawna, holding her tight, crying on her shoulder.

Leshawna looked confused, and looked to Heather, who looked confused as well, then back to Gwen again. "You OK girl?" Leshawna asked.

"I'm sorry," Gwen let out, crying profusely, still holding on to Leshawna.

"You sor--nah ah ah, I'm sorry. I'm the one who, well, I ruined your life." Leshawna was hugging back tight, starting to cry herself. "You didn't do nothin' wrong, girl."

"Holding a stupid grudge?" Gwen asked, looking sincerely at Leshawna.

"Hey, you had a right to be mad," Leshawna said. "Way I treated you, and Heather, and a lot of other innocent people--why wouldn't you be mad?"

"Yes, I did have a right to be mad," Gwen stated, looking serious, but her face quickly softened. "I overdid it. Seriously, locking you in that hot box again? That was inexcusable."

"I done worse, hon," Leshawna said, smiling, though still crying. Heather was also tearing up from the sideline.

Gwen sighed. "I've done worse. You don't even know what I've done before I met you guys." Gwen looked down. "I'm sure Heather remembers, and really, thank you so much for keeping it a secret!"

Heather was blushing. "I made a promise not to tell, and it's not like blabbing about it was going to give me any sort of better positioning at my school." Heather sighed. "Not like that was even viable when I got back."

Gwen walked over to her bed and sat down on it. "Can you close the door, Leshawna? I'd rather this be kept secret, and… well, maybe you can help me." Leshawna nodded.

* * *

Justin was lying in his bed, with a cast on one of his legs and one of his arms, when there was a knock on the door. "Please, no, enough, please!" Justin yelled, looking fearful.

Beth walked into his room anyway, carrying a plate with eggs, toast, and facon. "I thought you might be hungry." Beth sighed and walked closer. "Look, I'm sorry about throwing you out of my room, and letting everyone else do this to you, but… well, you kind of deserved it."

"I don't really understand why," Justin said, confused. "They're all jealous of me, aren't they?"

Beth shook her head, setting the plate down on his nightstand. "You're really mean, you know. Why can't you just be nice?"

"I'm better than everyone else here, though," Justin whined. "I should be allowed to do whatever I want, and have the hottest girl here, not that Tyler moron." Justin rolled his eyes. "What's so great about Tyler, anyway? Just some worthless schmuck who can't even get a double-digit score in bowling."

"He got an eleven one time," Beth said, looking tired. "Tyler's nice, though, and he's really nice to Lindsay. Why can't you just be nice?"

"Because even if I had to settle for someone who was less hot than Lindsay, I wouldn't want to settle for the ugliest girl on the--"

Beth slapped Justin across the face. Hard. "Cut that out! I'm trying to be nice here!"

Justin was rubbing his cheek, and then sighed. "Look, you're ugly--please don't hit me again--but you're nice-ish. And I guess since everyone else is treating me like some sort of plague…" Justin looked like he was having trouble continuing, taking about half a minute to continue, though still visibly struggling. "Thank you."

Beth smiled. "Was that so hard?"

"Very," Justin stated. "Still, it's been so lonely, not having anyone admire my beauty, and even living in fear from everyone else, so… well, thank you for being nice."

"You're welcome," Beth said, smiling, giving Justin a light hug.

"Eww, cooties, cooties!" Justin whined. Beth quickly let go and slapped him across the face. "OK, I'm sorry, but… could you warn me the next time you're going to touch me?"

"Maybe there won't be a next time," Beth stated, putting her hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry, I overreacted," Justin said. "Can there please be a next time?"

Beth smiled a bit. "Just be nicer, OK?" Beth left the room, leaving Justin looking miserable behind.

* * *

Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame, making wild gestures as he started speaking. "Last time on _Total Drama Chris, _the campers had to try their hardest to embarrass Katie." Chris frowned. "Except they refused." Chris threw his arms into the air in exasperation. "Seriously, it was almost like they actually like Katie!" Chris shook his head. "I don't get it! She might actually win this thing, and our ratings would plummet if that happened!" Chris took out a chart with the faces of all twenty-two contestants, with Duncan, Courtney, and Gwen on the top, which was the only part caught on camera. "Everyone loves Duncan at number one, Courtney has a weird 'love her or hate her' thing going on but she's still number two, and then, at the very bottom, at number twenty-one, Katie." Chris shook his head. "Personally, I don't get why Sadie's even lower, since Sadie's the hot one… OK, slightly hotter one. And it probably wouldn't be good for ratings if Bridgette won either, since only hippies like her, and they're not really the people we care to cater to."

Chris sighed, and put the list away. "Still, there are three people remaining. The beautiful Lindsay, the fairly unattractive Bridgette, and the hideous-beyond-all-reason Katie. Which two will make it to the Final Two? Will it be the two remaining Killer Chrises?" Chris rolled his eyes. "Can someone explain to me how the Killer Chrises are outnumbering the Screaming Pansies, anyway? Weren't they like two and eight not that long ago?" Chris shrugged. "Or, it may be the two dumb blondes." Chris raised his hand to the sky. "In the immortal words of Huckleberry Finn, a 'battle of the blondes'!" Chris started tapping his chin. "He said that, right?" Chris shrugged. "Or it could be the two girls who have eerily similar voices if you close your eyes. Seriously, ever try closing your eyes when Lindsay and Katie are having a conversation? You seriously can't tell who's who! It's like they share a voice, or something. Kinda' creepy, man." Chris shuddered.

Chris threw his arms open wide. "So who will it be? Who will make it to the coveted Final Two? Who will be instantly eliminated tonight?" Chris smirked for the camera. "Oh, that's right! No ceremony tonight! Someone loses, they're instantly gone, ha ha! But stay tuned to find out which of our so-called lovely ladies gets sent packing, coming up now on _Total! Drama!--"_

**KABOOM!**

The dock where Chris was standing had exploded, and Chris, a bit charred, had fallen into the lake as a result. The camera panned over to the beach, where Bridgette, Katie, and Lindsay, still pushed down on the detonator plunger, were smiling deviously. They then started high-fiving each other and laughing.

"You're a genius, Katie!" Lindsay exclaimed. "I can't believe I was so stupid with the dynamite yesterday."

Katie shrugged. "Well, you'd have never known there was a gear missing. Sadie and I used to play some pranks with these things, though. I mean, no real dynamite, but some mud bombs to get back at some boys who would always tease Sadie about her weight." Katie clenched her hand into a fist. "**You're still jerks, Dan and Dave!**"

"So, should one of us finish Chris' monologue?" Bridgette asked, with her hands in her pockets now.

"Ooh, ooh, pick me! Pick me!" Lindsay exclaimed, hopping up and down, with her hand raised in the air.

"Go for it, Lindsay!" Katie exclaimed, pumping her fists.

"See which of us is going to lose on _Total Drama Us!"_

"_Total Drama Us?" _Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow. "Like the pronoun?"

Katie shrugged. "Better than _Total Drama You-Know-Who."_

"Good point," Bridgette said, winking back. "We can go with that."

"I don't know," Lindsay said, looking confused. "I don't really think it sounded right, either."

"We're kind of running low on tape," the camera man said.

"We can go with it," Bridgette said, smiling, as the trio walked off.

The camera then went back to Chris, climbing out of the lake, mutterings things to himself, but looked furious after noticing the camera. "Stop tape!" Chris yelled.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (rubbing his forehead) None of these jerks deserve to win, none of them do. (Chris starts crying.) Why can't they just show me a little respect, that's all I ask? Is a little respect too much to ask?

* * *

"You can eat more than that!" Chef barked, instilling fear in Bridgette, Katie, and Lindsay, with empty plates in front of them. "All you can eat pancakes means **all you can eat pancakes**, and that wasn't all you could eat, so eat more!" Chef threw stacks of pancakes onto all their plates.

"But I'm on a diet," Lindsay said, looking sick. "Really, the first stack was all I could--"

"I **said **all you can eat is **more **than all you ate!" Chef screamed in Lindsay's face, knocking her out of her seat, leaving her dazed on the ground.

"Is this a toenail?" Katie asked, picking up one of the pancakes on her plate in disgust.

"**Eat!**" Chef screamed, but right after, collapsed to the ground. The three girls saw a dart in Chef's neck, and looked up to see Zoe, waving and smiling innocently.

"I'm going to whip you three up a real breakfast," Zoe said.

Lindsay nervously tapped her fingers. "I think I'd rather eat Chef's pancakes." Lindsay stabbed her fork into the stack of pancakes, looking like she was going to puke as she moved the stack toward her mouth."

"I promise, it's not poisoned this time," Zoe stated, raising her right hand.

"Chris wouldn't poison them," Emily said, from in the kitchen.

"He would," Zoe said, irritated, then turned back to the contestants. "So, any requests?"

"No," Lindsay said, annoyed. "I want nothing."

Katie started massaging Lindsay's shoulders. "Zoe's a good cook, and she's not evil, I promise!"

"I'll pass," Lindsay said, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Zoe: I know I did a horrible thing with the poisoned breakfast, but I swear, I knew nothing about it!  
Emily: Chris really wouldn't do something so mean.  
Zoe: …you really don't know Chris that well, do you?  
Emily: I know he's really handsome, and famous, and really nice!  
(Zoe rolls her eyes.)

* * *

"This is a really good pasta," Bridgette said, ecstatically eating the fettuccini Alfredo before her.

"Still can't imagine that without chicken in it," Katie said, gorging on a loaded hamburger before her.

"It really doesn't need the chicken, I promise!" Bridgette said, smiling bright. "You really should have something, Lindsay!"

Lindsay was watching Bridgette and Katie eat, salivating. "It does look pretty good."

"Whatever you want, I'll still whip it up for you," Zoe said.

Lindsay looked down, looking embarrassed. "I guess everyone else says you're nice, and not trying to kill us, and I would really like a peanut butter and jelly. I haven't had one of those since I left to come back here."

"What flavor jelly?" Zoe asked, smiling.

"Grape!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling bright.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: It was weird. She took a long time to make the sandwich--even longer than I take, and I usually leave the kitchen a mess, and get peanut butter stuck on everything--but unlike when I make it, this was actually the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich I've ever had in my life! And it wasn't even poisoned!

Zoe: It's my special homemade jelly. Really, though, I was surprised super rich Lindsay just wanted a simple little sandwich. Who am I to argue, though?

* * *

"Six," Katie said, looking at her cards as she was sitting at a small table with Bridgette, Zoe, and Lindsay. "It's getting pretty late. Are we actually having a challenge today?"

"I thought we did, but I really don't know," Bridgette said, rubbing her chin as she looked at her hand, looking disgusted. "Two."

"I'm pretty sure Chris said there was one," Zoe said, looking over her cards. "Four."

"Sixteen!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling brightly.

"Lindsay, you know the most you can bid is thirteen," Bridgette said. "And I'm not technically supposed to help, but bid lower than thirteen."

"Twelve!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling brightly.

Bridgette looked desperately to Katie and Zoe. "Either of you two want to trade partners?"

"Oh, don't worry," Lindsay said, smirking. "I have a **really **good hand!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (holding her head in frustration) When Lindsay said she knew how to play spades, she sounded so sincere.

Lindsay: I know that spades are the pointy black one! I don't know why Bridgette thought I didn't know which one the spade was. Though I really like the red diamonds the best, 'cause they're so pretty and sparkly when they're not on a card!

* * *

Lindsay laid down a 7 of diamonds. "I win! I have the highest card!"

"Actually, I get that one," Katie said, grinning, taking the cards. I was worried one of you might have another club, but I got my six!"

"But… but you had a 5!" Lindsay pouted. "7 is bigger than 5, and it wasn't even a spade you had that time!" Lindsay crossed her arms over her chest. "I hate those stupid spades!"

"Maybe we should play something else?" Zoe suggested.

"Yes, please!" Bridgette pleaded, then ducked down a bit. "I mean, that sounds like a good idea to me."

Zoe gathered up all the cards from the table. "You know go fish, Lindsay?"

Lindsay nodded. "I'm really good at that one!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: Go fish was more Lindsay's speed. Maybe someone can teach her spades another day.

* * *

Lindsay was glancing at the others, shifting her eyes, and then back at her lone card, scratching her head, then turning her attention to Bridgette. "Got any nines?"

Bridgette sighed, as she was about to hand three cards over to Bridgette, though Chris quickly hurried in and snatched the cards. "I'll take those!"

"Hey!" Lindsay shouted, irritated. "Those were mine, and I was about to win! I already had six other books!"

"Like you've ever actually seen a book," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "But these are **my **cards! My cards that **somebody **stole out of my trailer." Chris glared at Zoe, who was trying to look innocent.

"We were just passing the time," Katie said, irritated.

"Not my problem!" Chris yelled. "But now, to the amphitheater! Your next challenge awaits!"

"Yay," Katie stated, sounding bored, weakly waving a finger in the air.

"And what's Chef doing on the ground?" Chris complained. "Zoe! Throw some water on him! I'll be needing him!"

Zoe gulped nervously. "But… but I can't wake him! He'd--"

"Not my problem!" Chris shouted, irritated. "It's your job!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Zoe: (with a black eye) I can't believe Chef would hit a girl!  
Emily: (scowling, arms crossed over his chest) I can. Chef's an angry bully. So glad Katie was there to defend you! She's awesome.  
Zoe: (confused) You do know that Chris hates Katie.  
Emily: But she's so sweet! I'm sure there's just some silly misunderstanding.  
Zoe: Sure….

* * *

The amphitheater stage was darkened. Or more to the point, the lens cap was kept on the camera pointed toward the stage. "This is _Total Drama Chris!" _Chris announced, from somewhere unseen. "And now to meet today's contestants." The lens cap was taken off the camera, which zoomed to three fancy-looking podiums, labeled "Katie," "Bridgette," and "Lindsay," respectively. "A stupid teenage blonde who's even stupider than her I.Q., Lindsay!" For several seconds, nothing happened. "Lindsay, that was your cue!" After a few more seconds, Chef threw Lindsay out to the podiums, though she stood behind Katie's. "Wrong podium!" Lindsay stared into space, and Chef came out to physically move her to the proper podium. "Another dumb blonde who isn't nearly as hot, Bridgette!" Bridgette walked onto the stage, not looking happy. "And our returning loser, the heel everyone's hoping to see lose, Katie, who so far has won a dead skunk!" Katie gave a raspberry to the camera as she walked over to her podium, pouting.

"And now, here's the star of _Total Drama Chris, _Chris Maclaine!" Chris walked out from behind the curtain, bowing to the nonexistent audience, while Chef was playing canned applause. "Welcome to _Total Drama Chris, _I am your host, Chris Maclaine, and we have a special challenge for these guys today!" Chris cleared his throat before continuing. "Today is mini-challenge day! A lot of challenge ideas for which we couldn't really think of interesting ways to stretch them out into full challenges, but I'll still get a good laugh out of it, ha ha!" Chris, grinning deviously, walked over to Katie. "Now, in polite society, it would be ladies first, but since the first person to play is at a disadvantage, we'll save the ladies for last, and have Katie go first!"

"I'm a girl," Katie said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Either way, you get the first challenge," Chris said, as Chef rolled out a large tumbler filled with envelopes, and started tumbling it. After Chef stopped, Chris stuck his hand in the tumbler and pulled out an envelope, and opened it. "Dear Chris, you are such an awesome host! In fact, you're the greatest person who's ever lived, and I envy your greatness. Oh, if only your greatness could rub off on me, I could die happy." Chris wiped a tear from his eye. "So beautiful."

"Was that a challenge or a fan letter," Katie said, raising an eyebrow.

"Fine," Chris said, rolling his eyes as he took out another envelope and removed the paper from it, then started laughing. "I love this one! The 'drop a heavy object on your head' challenge!"

"You're kidding," Katie stated, nervous.

"I don't kid," Chris said, then smirked. "Not with something like this, anyway!" Chef took a double A battery out of his pocket, and handed it to Chris. "From the top of the diving board, you must allow one of our interns to drop **this **battery onto your head. And you're not allowed to shield your head."

"A small battery?" Katie asked, blinking in disbelief.

"You can chicken out if you want, but then you'll lose the challenge."

"It's… a tiny battery," Katie said, smirking. "Is that the best you got?"

"Trust me, it'll hurt," Chris said. "Emily let me test it on her, and it'll hurt. You can trust her on that."

"It hurts," Emily said, from backstage.

"No one was talking to you!" Chris yelled, turning to the curtain, then he faced Katie once more. "You can still back out."

"Bring it on," Katie said, motioning her hands toward her.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (grinning deviously) Katie's all smug **now**, but what she doesn't know… heh, heh.

* * *

Katie was sitting at the base of the ladder, while Emily was at the top of the ladder, with battery in hand.

"Sure you want to go through with it," Chris said, grinning.

"Again, bring it on," Katie stated, putting a game face on.

"Now!" Chris called out to Emily, who nodded, then dropped the battery, which, to Katie's surprise, she felt when it hit her. Katie was rubbing her head and moaning a little. "That hurt!"

"Of course it hurt!" Chris exclaimed, throwing his arms excitedly into the air. "What did you really expect it to do?"

"I don't know," Katie said, still rubbing her head. "I mean, it was just a battery."

"These challenges get harder, so if that was too much for you to handle, you're in trouble," Chris said, with a sadistic grin.

"OK, that hurt, but I can take whatever you throw at me, **little man**," Katie shouted coldly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: That battery was just a little taste of what's to come, little boy. After all, I wouldn't want the challenge to be over after just one game. You have no idea what's in store for you. You have no idea. (Chris rubs his hands together deviously.)

* * *

"Bridgette!" Chris exclaimed, grabbing another envelope from the tumbler, then opened it, pulling out the paper. "Ooh, this is a good one! 'Brunch of disgustingness'!"

"Didn't we do that challenge last year?" Bridgette asked, confused. "You couldn't get a full challenge out of this?"

"Too short," Chris said. "We had to put a lot of boring stuff in that episode to stretch it out. Like that stupid fight between you and Heather."

"We weren't really fighting," Bridgette said, irritated.

Chris shrugged. "You went on the side of the room with Gwen and Leshawna, if memory serves me."

Bridgette rolled her eyes. "Just bring me the dish, already."

"Chef!" Chris called out. Chef wheeled out a cart, with a silver platter and lid atop it. Chris lifted the lid, and there was a slice of pizza on the platter. "In order to stay in the game, Bridgette, you must **eat **this pizza!"

Bridgette casually blew some hair out of her face. "Is that all?"

Chris scoffed. "That is the worst brand of frozen pizza we could find in Muskoka."

Bridgette shrugged, then took a bite, though she quickly looked like she wanted to gag. Slowly but surely, she swallowed it, then took a second bite.

Chris sighed. "That's good enough. It's boring to watch you slowly eat that."

"That was about as bad as Chef's cooking," Bridgette complained, looking sick.

"What was that?!" Chef yelled, glaring at Bridgette.

"She said she doesn't like your cooking," Katie said, glaring at Chef, who then backed down in fear.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Stick girl's scary! And I **told **Chris to spend fifty cents more to get the pepperoni, that Bridgette would refuse to eat the pepperoni, but no! Pretty boy insisted that Bridgette probably wouldn't get this particular challenge, anyway! Who's laughin' now, Chris?!

Chris: (rolling his eyes) So Chef was right. Doesn't need to be such a sore winner.

* * *

Chris opened another envelope from the tumbler, then glared at Lindsay, who was looking nervous. "Lindsay, I hope you're good at word puzzles, 'cause you get to play _Wheel of Fortune!"_

Lindsay gulped. "That show's, like, really hard."

"Not really," Chris said, shrugging, as Chef brought out a large puzzle board, while he was in a purple dress. The puzzle board read "____-___ ______."

"You change fast," Katie said, smirking, giving Chef a thumbs up, who simply grumbled in reply.

"Lindsay, your challenge is to solve a bonus round-type puzzle based on _Wheel of Fortune._," Chris stated. "If you can solve it in ten seconds, you get to stay in the game."

"High heel shoes!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming, proud of herself.

"Uh, no," Chris said. "And you don't get to guess yet. First, you might want to know that the category is 'place.' Second, we give you the R, S, T, L, N, and E, Vanna, show us those letters!"

"Don't call me Vanna," Chef stated, sounding like he was going to kill.

"Come on, just move it along, **Vanna**," Katie stated, laughing. Chef glared, but just went along and turned over the letters. The puzzle read "_E__-EN_ STREET."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: I kind of hate to admit that I'm glad Katie could get away with calling him Vanna… but I won't admit it, 'cause Katie totally sucks!  
(The confessional door opens, and Chef's arm can be seen grabbing Chris violently, throttling him.)

* * *

"Now Lindsay, you can pick three more consonants and a vowel," Chris stated.

Lindsay stared hard at the puzzle board, then started tapping her chin. "A, E, I--"

"Those are all vowels, Lindsay," Chris said, slapping his face in frustration. "And we already gave you the E, anyway. Just one vowel."

"But I didn't--"

"I, that's your vowel! Now three consonants."

"A, B, and C," Lindsay said, confused.

"A's a vowel," Chris said, irritated.

Lindsay was tapping her chin in thought. "B, C, and D?"

"Chef, any of those up there?" Chris asked. Chef grumpily turned over three more spaces, leaving the puzzle to read "DE_D-END STREET."

"Remember the category is place, you have ten seconds starting now!" Chris exclaimed. Lindsay squinted her eyes, trying to study the puzzle.

"Hurry up, Lindsay!" Katie shouted, nervous. Bridgette was biting on her nails.

"Deed-end street?" Lindsay asked, squinting harder. "Dude-end street? Dead-end street?"

"And she got it just in time!" Chris exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air, while Chef turned over the final A.

"What's a dead-end street?" Lindsay asked, scratching her bandanna. "I don't get it."

"That's not important, but you won!" Katie exclaimed, as she and Bridgette hugged Lindsay.

"Thanks guys," Lindsay said, smiling cheerfully.

"So, what happens now?" Bridgette asked, after pulling herself away from Lindsay.

"Round two," Chris said, with a sadistic grin on his face. "The challenges get harder now, so be prepared for anything!" Chris reached his hand back into the tumbler, and pulled out and opened another envelope. "Katie, you get to play a little baseball."

Katie raised an eyebrow. "A baseball game wouldn't have been an interesting full challenge?"

"Well, no," Chris whined. "Nine innings takes forever. And it's not really a baseball challenge. It's the 'drop a heavy object on your head' challenge!"

"Didn't we already do that one?" Katie asked, suspicious.

"In round one, yes," Chris explained, as Chef, back in his regular clothes, handed Chris a baseball, which he lightly tossed in his hand. Round two is tougher, though, and you either have to let us drop this baseball on your head, from the top of the diving board, or get kicked off the island!"

"Kicked off the island?!" Bridgette shouted, with the other two contestants looking nervous as well. "No voting anyone off?"

Chris stroked his chin. "Did I forget to mention that part?" Chris shrugged. "The instant one of you fails a challenge, or declines it, you're outta' here!" Chris pointed toward the Dock of Shame with his thumb.

Katie sighed. "Let's get it over with."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (with an ice pack on her head) I really hope I'm not just doing all of these challenges, and then just wind up losing anyway. Ugh….

* * *

"Bridgette," Chris said, starting to read the contents of another envelope, "you get to play our little balance game." Chef brought out two red cans of Coca-Cola, except with the name conspicuously crossed out with a marker. "You have to balance these two cans in your hands for one minute! If you drop them, then it's Dock of Shame time!"

Bridgette gulped. "I can do two cans. One in each hand. I think."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Yeah, some of these challenges don't really work well until we get to higher rounds. I bet she couldn't have balanced ten of them in round ten! And if a certain company that shall remain nameless wants their name to show up on this show, they're going to have to pay me! No free advertising from me!

* * *

"Whoa!" Bridgette yelled, as she tripped over one of the floor boards, dropping the cans of "Coke" which exploded, gushing into Chris' face. "Chef!" Chris yelled. "Save my face!" Chris ran off the stage, crying, while the contestants and Chef just kind of stared blankly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Back when I was in the war, we had **real **explosions, and we took 'em like a man! Not like nowadays, some pretty boy throws a hissy fit over an exploding can of generic-brand cola.

* * *

About a half hour later, Chris had returned, looking like his usual self. "Lindsay, we're up to you now." Chris took an envelope from the tumbler, and took out the next letter, throwing the envelope to the ground.

"Do you have to keep littering like that?" Bridgette asked, irritated.

"Does it bother you?" Chris asked, sounding concerned. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was bothering you."

"Just looking out for earth," Bridgette said.

Chris walked over to a garbage can, and dumped the whole contents on the ground. "If I knew it would bother you so much, I'd have made a bigger mess, ha ha!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (rubbing her temples) He is such a jerk! But then, I probably should've known better than to bring it up to Chris in the first place. (Bridgette playfully conks herself on the head.) What can I say? Sometimes the blonde in me comes out.

* * *

Chris started cracking up laughing as he approached Lindsay. "Remember that whole 'humiliate Katie' thing you guys refused to do? Well, I've turned that into a mini challenge, and if you refuse, you get kicked off the island immediately!"

Lindsay sighed. "It's been a good game, guys, but I guess I have to go now."

Chris blinked in confusion. "Wait, don't you even want to know what you have to do?"

"I'm not hurting Katie," Lindsay stated flatly.

"But all you have to do is call her a bad name!" Chris whined. "Come on, it's not so bad, is it?"

Lindsay looked to be in deep thought for several seconds. "Well, I guess not." Lindsay, looking guilty, walked up to Katie. "You're a poopie head." Lindsay immediately hugged Katie tight, crying. "I'm sorry I said that, you're not really a poopie head, and I really hope you can forgive me for--"

"It's OK," Katie said, smiling. "I think that I can live with having been called a poopie head."

"I was kind of hoping for something a little harsher," Chris said, irritated, then shrugged. "Guess I should've been more specific. Either way, you've all survived round two, but don't get too excited, 'cause round three's going to be even tougher! But make yourselves semi-comfortable, since we have a little time to kill here." Chris turned to the camera. "What devastating challenges do these three teens have to face next? Just how difficult is this game going to get? And most importantly, who will be going home? Find out when we return with more of _Total Drama--"_

"Zoe!" the three girls shouted simultaneously, then giggled.

"OK, you three **had **to have planned that!" Chris whined. "What's so great about Zoe, anyway? She poisoned you! I mean, I may not be the nicest guy ever, but she poisoned you!"

"We like her," Bridgette said, smirking along with Katie and Lindsay, just irritating Chris more.

* * *

And with this chapter, _Total Drama Chris _is now the single longest _Total Drama Island _fan fiction of all time! For now, at least. Until _Total Drama Battlegrounds _passes it, which is inevitable. Or maybe _Total Drama Team Fortress, _which may or may not pass this fic eventually… but regardless, this fic is currently the longest! Yee!


	51. Day 24, Part 2: Eternal Game

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 51: Day 24: Part 2: Eternal Game**

**Note**: Brunch of Disgustingness challenges may be… well, disgusting. You may not want to be eating.

* * *

Chris smiled into the camera, still standing on the amphitheater stage, with Katie, Bridgette, and Lindsay behind their podiums. "And welcome back to _Total Drama Chris!"_

"We went somewhere?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Um, this airs on TV, commercial breaks and stuff?" Chris asked, annoyed. "Have you really not figured this out by now? It's nothing new for this episode, you know."

"I didn't see the commercial, though," Lindsay said, looking more confused.

Chris sighed, then looked to Katie, grinning menacingly. "Katie, you're up next!" Chris grabbed an envelope from the tumbler and opened it, reading the contents to himself. "Ah, the porno game."

"I don't like the sound of this one," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"I assure you, I like it less," Chris said, glaring at the paper. "I was really hoping Lindsay would get this one."

"I'm pretty sure you can't force a seventeen-year-old to do anything," Katie stated.

"Wouldn't dream of forcing you to do anything," Chris said, angry. "You were supposed to flash us all, but I'd personally prefer you didn't."

"Oh, you wouldn't?" Katie asked, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (shivering in fear) Did she have to **shove** them right in my face? I swear, does she have no shame? (Chris taps his chin.) Then again, I don't have any shame, either.

* * *

"Bridgette," Chris stated, reading another note, "you get to play the oven game!" Chef pushes the hot box onto the stage. "You remember this contraption I'm sure, right?" Bridgette gulped as she nervously looked at the hot box. "You were in there for hours, but all you need to do for this is last three minutes in there."

"Three minutes and I don't get kicked off," Bridgette said, raising an eyebrow.

"Just three little minutes," Chris said, grinning.

"I'm pretty sure I can handle that," Bridgette said, shrugging as she walked into the box. "I mean, I've lasted several hours in here before."

Chris closed the door behind Bridgette, then walked behind the box. "Thank God for Joel, for installing a new feature for the hot box!" Chef turned the box around, while Chris had a wide smile on his face. "Temperature knob! Joel has turned this into a literal oven!" Chris turns the knob on to five hundred degrees.

"Her name's Joelle," Chef said, rolling his eyes. "She ain't gonna' like that you keep callin' her Joel!"

Chris scoffed. "Like a girl could really do something awesome like this."

"That's horrible!" Katie yelled, angry.

"What, it's not like you're a girl, so it's not like I insulted you," Chris said, shrugging.

"I meant locking Bridgette in an oven!" Katie yelled.

"I can do this!" Bridgette called out from inside the box.

"Wait, you can?" Katie asked, confused.

"Yeah, these things take forever to preheat," Chris said, shrugging. "That'll be less of a problem in later rounds, of course, but I'm sure it's still getting really uncomfortable in there, ha ha!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: (red) It takes a while to preheat an oven sure. I did kind of underestimate just how short a time it would get hot enough to make it really, really, **really **feel like death in there, though.

* * *

"**Water!**" Bridgette screamed as she collapsed to the ground as Chris opened the door. Katie nodded and quickly ran off.

"Hope she's back before it's her turn again," Chris said, then laughed. "Actually, I hope she doesn't! But it would mean that we might get this challenge again later, when we can do it for more time, ha ha!"

"That wasn't a very funny joke," Lindsay said, looking concerned toward Bridgette. "I mean, she could've died in there."

"But she didn't die," Chris said. "And it wasn't a joke."

"But why were you laughing?" Lindsay said, looking as if she were wracking her brain.

"It was funny," Chris said. "She could've died! That's funny!"

"That's not funny!" Lindsay yelled, tearing up a bit, making a fist.

Chris scoffed again. "Like you've never laughed at a Wile E. Coyote cartoon."

"That's… well that's… what's a Wile E. Coyote cartoon?" Lindsay said, confused. "Is that the cartoon with that puppy who keeps trying to steal the sheep?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "No, God, you're a real idiot!"

"Sorry," Lindsay said weakly, embarrassed.

Chris grumbled as he took another envelope from the tumbler and opened it. "Looks like you get to do the Sundae Slide."

Lindsay put her finger to her chin. "That sounds pretty yummy."

"I don't think he means that kind of Sunday," Bridgette said, giggling a bit.

"Actually, he does," Katie stated. "Apparently, Chris ran out of ideas, so he's stealing some from _Double Dare."_

"I prefer to call it an homage," Chris stated, while Chef was rolling out a platform before the stage with a large twisting slide that led into a large bowl of vanilla ice cream with hot fudge and toasted almonds and a cherry. "Sounds a lot better than stealing."

"So all I have to do is climb up, then slide down?" Lindsay asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, but you only get fifteen seconds," Chris said, grinning deviously. "And notice the ramp, covered in hot fudge." Chris shook his head. "Makes it pretty tricky to climb up."

"I can do it," Lindsay said, as she walked over to right in front of the ramp leading up to the top of the Sundae Slide.

"No, you can't," Chris said, smirking. "On your mark, get set, go!"

Lindsay hurried up the hot fudge-smeared ramp by stepping onto the not-covered-by-hot-fudge sides of the ramp, then quickly made her way down the slide, landing in the ice cream, all in eight seconds. And looking in shock when she hit the ice cream.

"Chef, why didn't you cover the sides of the ramp?" Chris whined. "She wasn't supposed to do that."

**

* * *

****Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (looking disturbed) I probably should've thought about how cold that ice cream might be. I'd have gone down the slide head-first.

Katie: So nice of Lindsay to share the ice cream with me. It was still too much for me. (Katie scratches her head.) Still not sure why Lindsay didn't want any.

* * *

Chris looked irritated as he stood on the amphitheater stage, with Katie and Bridgette behind their podiums, and Chris took opened another envelope from the tumbler. "Let's just move ahead while Lindsay's cleaning up. Katie, you get to play the kissing game. All you have to do to pass this round is kiss a member of the same sex."

"That's kind of offensive," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, guy-on-guy kissing isn't something I like either," Chris stated, and Chef forcefully dragged Noah onto the stage, sobbing as he was futily trying to get away.

"I'm not kissing a guy again! No, no, no, no, **no!**" Noah whined.

"How did you even get him here that fast?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"By not thinking about stupid unimportant questions, that's how," Chris whined. "Anyway, to survive this round, Katie, you must kiss this very reluctant member of the same sex."

"I thought… I might be able to handle this," Noah stated, looking more relieved

Katie rolled her eyes. "Oh, woe is me. I do not know how I can possibly go through with this."

"Thought you might have trouble," Chris said, smirking.

Katie shrugged, then hit Noah like a lightning bolt and wrapped her body around Noah, kissing passionately, shortly after knocking them both down to the ground.

Chris looked confused, scratching his head. "You didn't have to go at it quite that much, you know? I'd have accepted a quick peck on the cheek."

**

* * *

****Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I didn't really like that challenge. It made me a bit uncomfortable, like there was something wrong with being gay. (Bridgette sighed.) Of course, Chris would think that.

Chef: (shaking his head, with his hand covering his face) Did Chris honestly forget that Katie is actually a girl?

Chris: (irritated) Yeah, I kind of forgot that Katie was gay, apparently. She wasn't supposed to enjoy that.

* * *

Chris grumbled as he opened another envelope, with Bridgette looking nervous. "Ooh, the dreaded long division challenge!" Chef rolled a blackboard onto the stage, then handed Chris a piece of chalk. On the blackboard, Chris wrote "8,343 ÷ 9." You have five minutes to solve that. Chris handed Bridgette the piece of chalk as she walked up to the board.

"How do you want me to write the remainder?" Bridgette asked, rewriting the problem with the dividend inside a little house.

"I don't really care, OK?" Chris said. "I hate long division."

Bridgette quickly came up and wrote the answer, 927, in under a minute. "There," she said, looking proud.

"You forgot the remainder," Chris whined.

"There… was no remainder," Bridgette said, confused. "I guess I could check my--"

"No, it's fine," Chris said, irritated. "You pass." Bridgette shrugged, then returned to her place behind her podium.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: OK, that was an incredibly stupid idea for a challenge. I mean, long division is super hard and all, but it's really, really boring to watch people solve long division problems. And I don't even know how to figure out if their answer is right or not!

Chef: Pretty boy don't know how to use a calculator.

* * *

"Lindsay!" Chris exclaimed, as Lindsay was walking back to the amphitheater stage. "Just the person I wanted to see."

"Hooray for me," Lindsay stated flatly, rolling her eyes.

"Don't complain, it's an easy one," Chris stated. "All you have to do is beat me in a little race."

"What's the catch?" Lindsay stated, with her hands on her hips, looking suspiciously toward Chris.

"Just an innocent little race, that's all," Chris said, shrugging.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I really hope I don't get stuck with the race in a later round.

Katie: That race is going to get like super hard later on. Fortunately for Lindsay, it wasn't later on yet.

* * *

"Training wheels?" Katie asked, grinning.

"Lots of adults need training wheels," Chris whined, as he was on a bicycle at the starting line, while Lindsay had to race on foot. "Anyway, it's a two hundred meter race. If you make it across the finish line before me, you stay in the competition. If I cross before you, then you're a big fat loser, ha ha!"

"But you're on a bike!" Lindsay complained. "How the heck am I supposed to beat that?"

"You probably won't," Chris said, shrugging. "That's kind of the point, dumbass!"

Lindsay growled at Chris, making him laugh some more. "That wasn't supposed to be funny!" Lindsay yelled.

Chris laughed some more, wiping a tear from his eye. "Yeah, it was!"

Chef rolled his eyes, then pointed a gun to the air. "Ready, set, go!" Chef fired the gun upon shouting the final word, and Lindsay dashed off very quickly. Chris was struggling on his bicycle, though.

"Come on, I thought these things were supposed to be fast!" Chris whined.

"They are fast, fool!" Chef yelled, then laughed a bit. "What, pretty boy can't ride a bike?"

"Enough of this!" Chris yelled, then hopped off the bike and ran after Lindsay on foot, but he couldn't come close to catching up before Lindsay crossed the finish line, and Chris collapsed, short of breath.

"That wasn't so hard!" Lindsay exclaimed, bouncing in the air.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Not so hard? Urgh!

* * *

Chris was standing on the amphitheater stage, with a huge plastic smile, while Katie, Bridgette, and Lindsay were once again standing behind their podiums. Chris took an envelope out of the tumbler, noticed it was a blue envelope, then quickly exchanged it for a regular white one.

"Wait, what was that?" Katie asked, worried.

"Um… you saw nothing!" Chris shouted, as he nervously opened the white envelope he was now holding. "Katie, it's your old favorite, the heavy object game!"

Katie rolled her eyes. "How many repeats of that are in that spinner, anyway?"

"Thirty-six," Chris said. "I really like that one! What can I say?" Chef brought out a VCR.

Lindsay looked confused, tapping her chin. "What is that thing?"

"It's a VCR," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "You know, a video cassette recorder? I swear, you are such an **idiot!**"

"I didn't know what a VCR was, either," Bridgette said, looking guilty.

"You're just another dumb blonde, so who cares!" Chris complained, throwing his arms up into the air. "Katie, since I'm sure you also have no idea what this is--"

"I know what a VCR is," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "My parents still use one of those fossils for their huge videotape collection." Katie shook her head. "Parents. Go fig."

"It's not a fossil!" Chris whined. "When I was your age, we didn't have these fancy DVD things. We had videotapes, had to wait thirty minutes to rewind one, and we liked it!" Chris chuckled to himself. "OK, it sucked really, but people were too lazy to come up with something better back in then. But getting back on track, Katie, I'm sure you know where to sit. Unless, of course, you'd rather throw in the towel and get on the boat."

Katie sighed, and walked over to a seat set near the ladder of the high dive. Chris handed the VCR to Emily, who accidentally dropped the VCR about halfway up, though it still beaned Katie on the head, causing Katie to collapse and moan in pain.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (with an ice pack on her head) I was almost glad that the VCR only got halfway up before it dropped on me. I mean, almost glad, since I'm not sure it was worth it after the poor lashing Chris gave to Emily. (Katie shudders.)

Emily: (crying, blowing her nose) I'm sorry I messed up, Chris.

Zoe: (clenching her fist) I am **so **going to make Chris pay for that ridiculous tirade! No one makes my sister cry except for me!

Chris: Seriously, you can't hire good help these days! I'd dock her pay if I was paying that bitch!

* * *

Chris was leaning against Bridgette's podium as he read her challenge, while Bridgette herself gulped in fear. "Ooh, the popular kissing game again!"

"This is really offensive," Bridgette said, pouting as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Chris shrugged. "If you want to lose, you can be that way." Chef had dragged an unwilling Sadie to the stage, looking pissed herself. "If you want to stay in the game, you're kissing Eva!"

"That's not Eva," Bridgette said, smirking.

Chris turned around, and slapped his face in frustration upon seeing Sadie. "Chef! You were **supposed **to bring Eva, not Sadie!"

"You want that girl, you wrangle her up yourself!" Chef yelled. "I ain't crazy enough to take steroid girl on again! Besides, you said fat ugly was the next best choice!"

"She's not ugly!" Katie yelled.

Chris sighed. "Compared to you, no. But Bridgette, in order to stay in the competition, you must kiss Sadie."

Sadie was shivering. "I get teased enough in school, me and Sadie, about being lesbians. I don't really want more teasing."

Bridgette looked at Sadie, then sighed. "I can't do this to her."

Sadie looked nervous, then her face turned angry. "No! You're--you're not losing this because of me! Bridgette, I've been like really mean to you all year, all because of some--some stupid misunderstanding, because I was stupid, and kept forgetting you didn't do anything wrong, even though Katie kept reminding me, and I'm really sorry. And let me make up for all of that and kiss me!" Sadie demanded stomping her foot down. Her face then softened. "I mean, you don't have to, but I don't want you to lose."

Bridgette smiled, then walked over to Sadie and gave her a small kiss on the cheek, then hugged her. "Thank you."

Sadie glomped Bridgette, making Bridgette's eyes look as though they'd pop out. "Eeeiii! I'm so happy we're friends again! I feel really really bad about being mean earlier!"

"Group hug!" Katie exclaimed, glomping Sadie and Bridgette, and squeeing together, with Bridgette looking uncomfortable between them.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: OK, I'm a little sore after that, but I am really glad Sadie and I made up. Though I was a little uncomfortable with the accidental implication that Sadie wanted Lindsay to lose. (Bridgette turns red and looks down nervously.)

* * *

Chris opened an envelope, and grinned as he pulled out a flat disc. "Lindsay, you lucked out!"

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "What horrible challenge do I have to do this time?"

"None," Chris said, handing Lindsay this disc.

Lindsay scratched her head as she read the words on the disc. "Free spin?"

Chris smiled. "Anytime later during the game, if there's a challenge that you don't want to do, all you have to do is use the free spin, and it gets passed on to the next person in line, which would be Katie. And then, Katie would still have to do her own challenge after that. Admittedly, I'm glad you happened to be the lucky contestant to get this."

"I… guess," Lindsay said, unsure.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Lindsay didn't sound too happy, but that free spin pretty much meant she got out of the current challenge, and a future one! I would've loved getting--I mean, no! Then Bridgette would have to do two challenges, and not to be mean, but I was kinda' hoping the final two would be me and Bridgette, and not me and Lindsay. Sorry Lindsay. (Katie looks down guiltily.)

* * *

"And we're now up to round six," Chris announced on the amphitheater stage. "So far, Katie, Bridgette, and Lindsay have taken everything we've thrown at them." Chris grinned toward Katie. "Some of them literally."

"I hate you," Katie sang.

"Likewise," Chris said, casually pointing to her, as he removed another envelope from the tumbler and read its contents, then started laughing maniacally for several seconds. Katie looked frightened. Chris then cleared his throat. "Come here, Katie. You're going to want to see this one for yourself."

Katie nervously looked around, then slowly walked up to Chris, who was hiding the card behind his back. "What is it?" Katie asked, nervous. "What do I have to--"

Chris quickly punched Katie in the face, knocking her to the floor. "Sucker punch, ha ha! I'm so glad I threw one of these babies into the tumbler!"

"What was that for?" Bridgette screamed, looking as though she was tempted to hurt Chris, as was Lindsay.

"That was the challenge," Chris said, casually shrugging. "Getting sucker punched. And I can't tell you how **awesome** that felt! I mean, she gets to move on because of it, but **man **was that worth it!"

"You're sick!" Bridgette screamed, throwing her hands into the air.

"You're a bad, bad, bad man!" Lindsay yelled, making an unthreatening fist.

"You're too kind," Chris said, smirking.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Chris didn't tell me that challenge was in there! You don't sucker punch a girl! You fight like a man, and give the other person a chance to whimper before you punch 'em out!

* * *

"Bridgette," Chris said, grinning deviously as he read the card, "it's your old favorite, the Brunch of Disgustingness!" Chef rolled out a serving tray, and lifted the lid on the platter, revealing a slice of pizza.

"That… looks pretty normal," Bridgette said, worrying about what was wrong with the pizza.

"This one's homemade, and Chef took extra care in making this pie just for you," Chris said, still grinning as Chef brought the platter up to Bridgette, where she looked like she was about to gag.

"Vomit?" Bridgette screamed. "There's vomit instead of sauce?"

"Yeah, isn't that awesome?" Chris said, excited. Again, we had a lot of extra vomit we've been saving since last season, and I thought it would be awesome to make one of you guys eat that vomit, ha ha!" Chris pointed a thumb toward the Boat of Losers. "Or, if you prefer, you can give up and go home."

Bridgette sighed. "I'm going to be sick."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (staring in shock) That was… um… wow. I'm not sure whether to be proud of Bridgette, or whether to puke. (Katie turns green and her cheeks puff up, then she quickly gets off the toilet and puts her head in it, and we hear puking sounds for several seconds.) I guess that answers that question. (Katie pauses for a few seconds, then stands up and dusts herself off.) I'm going to get some water.

* * *

Chris was standing in front of Lindsay's podium, with Katie watching, and Bridgette off to clean herself up. "Lindsay," Chris said, smirking, "your challenge is to eat a poisonous blowfish, as prepared by Lindsay." Chris smacked his forehead. "I mean, you need to make and eat your own blowfish."

"I'm really good at cooking," Lindsay said, waving her hand dismissively. I remember last year, I had to cook this fish thing for Trent, and he really liked it!" Lindsay was beaming.

"Uh, yeah… that was the poison blowfish that nearly killed Trent," Chris said, rubbing the back of his neck. "But hey, you don't have to worry about him dying this time, at least."

Lindsay wiped her forehead. "That's good. I wouldn't want to make him die. I mean, not that I ever did make him die almost."

Chris looked confused. "You really are that stupid, aren't you?"

"That really isn't nice," Katie said, irritated.

"Like you're one to talk about being nice," Chris said, rolling his eyes.

"Um, yes! I am! I don't think anyone really understands why you insist I'm a guy, or why you insist I'm evil, or any of that crap!"

"No one cares," Chris said, moving his hand like a puppet's mouth. "No one likes you or Sadie, anyway, and I don't care about the stupid rebuttal I know you're about to give me, so shut up!" Chris massaged his forehead. "Now Lindsay, are you up to this challenge, of preparing and eating your own poison blowfish?"

Lindsay waved her hand dismissively to Chris. "Piece of cake."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (looking like she's about to puke again) Lindsay still can't prepare the blowfish. I hope she's better in time for her next challenge.

* * *

Chris was looking a little irritated on the amphitheater stage, with Katie and Bridgette standing behind their podiums. "And everyone's made it past round six." Chris glared at the two girls. "You know, it's OK if one of you decides to take a dive sooner or later. I have things to do, places to go, people to see!"

"No you don't," Katie answered, smirking.

"You don't know that," Chris stated, irritated.

"According to your day planner, we do know," Bridgette said teasingly, dangling the day planner above her head.

"Give me that!" Chris griped, walking over to snatch the planner away from Bridgette, as she and Katie giggled. "Where did you get this?" Katie and Bridgette looked to each other, then smiled innocently to Chris. "I am **so **going to reprimand Zoe for this!" Chris grumbled as he took another envelope out of the tumbler, then opened it, and started laughing when he did. "What luck! Another heavy object to drop on your precious little head!"

Katie sighed. "What is it this time?" Chef grunted as he carried out a television set.

"It's a twenty-seven inch color TV!" Chris announced.

"You're kidding," Katie said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm serious," Chris said, smirking. "This is going to be awesome! I mean, unless you want to ride the Boat of Losers."

Katie smiled menacingly. "Bring it on."

"All right," Chris said, shrugging. "It's your funeral. Emily!"

Emily rushed out before Chris. "Yes, my lord?"

"My lord?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow again.

"Carry the TV to the top of the diving board!" Chris yelled.

"I can't carry this!" Emily insisted, nervous. "How am I supposed to carry this while climbing the ladder?"

"Just do it!" Chris screamed.

Chris had Katie sit down in her usual spot, while Emily struggled greatly trying to carry the TV up the ladder with her. And as expected, about halfway up, she lost her grip and fell to the ground, with the TV falling on top of Emily. "Ow," Emily cried.

"Are you OK?" Katie asked, quickly lifting the TV off of Emily, and helping her up. "Do you need to see Nurse Chef?"

"Yes, please," Emily said quietly, as Katie started to help her walk.

"She's not allowed to leave!" Chris yelled, trying to block Katie's path. "I still need her to do stuff that I don't want to do!"

"**Move it!**" Katie screamed.

"Make me!" Chris yelled back, sticking out his tongue. Katie rolled her eyes, and kicked Chris in the balls, making him collapse to the ground as she walked past, helping Emily to the medical tent.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (with her arms crossed over her chest) I know it's harsh to do that, and I have a wee bit of a temper, but that time was **completely **justified.  
Zoe: Oh, it was. Thank you, Katie! (Zoe hugs Katie.)  
Katie: Seriously, I can't believe he treats Emily like that! Do you guys even get paid?  
Zoe: (sighing) No, we don't.  
Katie: You'd think he'd appreciate getting free help.  
Zoe: One would think.

Chef: OK, I don't know why the hell Chris thought that was a good idea!

* * *

"Bridgette," Chef said, reading the next card, "you have to tell me how many… OK, Chris has something scratched out here… I think he scratched out the word Skittles and replaced it with 'generic small round chewy fruit-flavored multi-colored candies--can you read this?" Chef handed the card to Bridgette.

"I think you got it right," Bridgette said, shrugging.

"OK," Chef said, then looked around. "Excuse me for a moment, missy." Chef hurried off, and a few seconds later, came out with a tiny jar of Ski… err, generic small round chewy fruit-flavored multi-colored candies. "Now, in order to make it to the next round, and not be immediately kicked off, you must tell me how many generic small round chewy fruit-flavored multi-colored candies are in this jar.

"One," Bridgette said, looking unimpressed.

"If your guess is within a hundred above or a hundred below the actual number, you--wait," Chef said, looking at the card. "Which round is this?"

"Seven," Bridgette said.

Chef looked at the jar, and smacked his face. "I think this was supposed to be the round one jar… you said one, right?"

"Yes," Bridgette said. "One generic round fruit--whatever you said."

"Let me check the sheet," Chef said, then hurried off the stage. Then hurried back onto the stage with the sheet in hand. "Let me see, round one… one generic small round chewy fruit-flavored multi-colored candy. You got it exactly right, so congratulations!"

"You… needed that sheet to see there was only one Skittle in that jar?" Katie said, blinking in confusion.

"They're not easy to count when they all in that jar!" Chef barked.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (slapping his face in frustration) How could Chef screw that up? The round seven jar was the one with the big number seven on it! The jar that had eight hundred thirty-eight of those company-who-shall-remain-nameless-backed-out-of-its-deal candies!

* * *

"Where's blondie?" Chef shouted, angry as ever.

"Aren't you supposed to be taking care of her?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She's fine, just needs some rest now," Chef said, shrugging, then pulled and opened an envelope from the tumbler. "Another stupid free spin. Didn't blondie get one of these already?" Chef shrugged. "Guess she got two now." Chef placed the free spin on Lindsay's podium.

**

* * *

****Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Chef is **so **dead for not telling me about Lindsay's second free spin. He is **so **dead as soon as I can figure out how much I need to bribe Eva to do him some damage! I can't **believe **he'd forget to tell me something **that important!** **How could he do that to me? **(Chris punches the wall of the confessional behind the toilet, making a noticeable dent.)

* * *

"Round eight, fools!" Chef yelled, as he snatched another envelope from the tumbler. "The 'drop a heavy object on Katie's head' challenge!"

"Wait, what?" Katie yelled, her eyes growing wide.

"You're Katie, right?" Chef asked. "Says right here, 'if Katie's turn, drop a heavy object on Katie's head. If not Katie's turn, the pick Chef's nose--**what?**" One could almost imagine the steam coming from Chef's ears. "Chris never told me about no pick Chef's nose challenge! He's gonna' pay for that one, but fortunately, that's not your challenge, little missy, heh heh." Chef looked around nervously. "Um, be right back. Chef hurried off the stage, then quickly returned, holding a list. "Let's see, round eight… round eigh--ah, here we go. 'drop an Advil on Katie.'" Chef looked confused, then shrugged. "Zoe, you 'round?"

Zoe sighed and rolled her eyes as she walked onto the stage. "I'm not carrying any absurdly heavy objects up the diving board."

"This one ain't heavy!" Chef shouted, taking an Advil bottle out of his pocket, and taking out one of the Advils. "Just carry this pill up the ladder and drop it on Katie's head."

Zoe raised an eyebrow. "An Advil."

"Don't question pretty boy's instructions, just do it!" Chef then took a couple more Advils before putting the bottle back in his pocket and swallowed them.

Katie was grinning, then gestured dramatically. "Oh, woe is me. But I must, else I automatically lose."

"Good luck, Katie," Bridgette said, giggling. "Not that I think you'll need it this time."

Katie sat in her spot at the ladder of the diving board, while Zoe quickly climbed up, and dropped the Advil on top of Katie's head.

"I barely felt that," Katie said, smiling. "That was really the level eight heavy object?"

Chef took out the paper, and pointed to Chris' instructions. "Says right here, Advil."

"**It doesn't say Advil, you idiot!**" Chris screamed, rushing up to Chef. "Please tell me you didn't already drop the Advil on her head!"

"Yeah, I did," Chef said, angry.

"It said **anvil! Anvil!**" Chris screamed, throwing his arms into the air.** "**Can't you even tell the difference between a D and an N?"

"Question is, can you?" Chef stated, glaring at Chris as he handed the list over to Chris, who was fuming.

"That is obviously a typo!" Chris yelled. "What did you think we had that anvil backstage for, anyway?"

"You didn't tell me, fool!" Chef yelled, getting in Chris' face. "And I suggest you drop this before I drop you!"

Chris shuddered, then backed off, slapping his face in frustration. "OK, good job, yada yada, let's just get on with this!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I couldn't help but notice some of the other things coming up on that list. A washer and dryer? A tugboat? The moon? How the hell was Chris going to even drop the moon on my head, anyway?

Chris: Advil? Seriously, why would I drop that on Katie's head when they're not paying me any money for mentioning their product?

Zoe: Chris should be thankful! Really, he wasn't going to get anyone to carry that anvil up the ladder, and I know he wasn't going to do it himself, so he needs to stop whining. (Zoe motions her hand like a puppet mouth.)

* * *

"Bridgette," Chris said, grinning, leaning against Bridgette's podium, "You have to listen to some of the worst music ever recorded, mwahaha!"

"I think I can handle this," Bridgette said, smirking. "Unless it's Lindsay's singing."

"It's worse," Chris said, grinning. "It's that awful 'Tik Tok' by Ke$ha."

"Um, how did Chris just somehow pronounce a dollar sign?" Katie asked, blinking in confusion. "Kesha, Kesha, Ke… sh… sh… I can't do it."

"That's 'cause you suck!" Chris exclaimed, laughing. "Seriously though, you have to listen to the entire song, using this state of the art iPod brand mp3 player! iPod, one of many amazing products brought to us by the wonderful Apple corporation, iPod."

"You're getting paid to say that, aren't you," Katie asked, smirking.

"Yes, yes I am," Chris stated. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway, Bridgette, using the iPod headphones, you must listen to Ke$ha's song 'Tik Tok' on the iPod mp3 player."

"I don't know how I'll survive," Bridgette said, rolling her eyes as she put the headphones on, then started grooving a bit in her spot, leaving Chris confused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: That she seemed to be… enjoying that… just scares me, man. (Chris shudders.)

Bridgette: The lyrics aren't great, and I have no idea why she'd want a guy who looks like Mick Jagger, but it's got a nice beat. I like it.

* * *

"Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay," Chris said, reading the card, as Zoe brought Lindsay back to her podium, though she was still a little out of it. "You get to play some _Wheel of Fortune _again! Vanna, bring out the board!"

"I said don't call me that!" Chef yelled, as he brought out the puzzle board

"Want to use your free spin?" Chris asked, grinning.

"No, I'll keep it. I'll--wait," Lindsay said, noticing something different.

"Wait what?" Chris whined. "We really don't have all day, you know."

"I mean, I'll play the puzzle," Lindsay said, smiling bright..

"All righty then!" Chris exclaimed. "The category is 'title.'" Chef Vanna waved to the board, which read '____ ____.' "And of course, we give you all the Rs, Ss, Ts, Ls, Ns, and Es, Vanna!"

"Don't call me that!" Chef barked, as he turned over a couple of letters, revealing '__N_ _L__."

"Three more consonants and a vowel, Lindsay," Chris said, shaking his head.

"OK," Lindsay said, smiling bright. "I'd like Africa, Europe, France--"

"I said consonants, not continents," Chris said, irritated. "You know, like B, C, D--"

"I'll take those!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling bright.

"OK…" Chris said, trailing off. "And a vowel?"

"Which one do you--"

"She said U, just give her U!" Chris whined, slapping his face. "Va… err, Chef, please reveal any of those letters in the puzzle." Chef grumbled as he turned over a couple more letters, revealing '__N_ CLUB.' "All right, Lindsay, you have ten seconds, starting now!"

"Ooh, I love the club!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming, holding her hands together in excitement.

"Lindsay, concentrate!" Bridgette shouted, nervous.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Lindsay said, waving innocently to Bridgette. "Let's see… I like club sandwiches. And club soda… and when I was younger, I loved _Winx Club! _I used to want to be a fairy, and--"

"She got it?" Chris asked, blinking. "How did… I mean… what in the… never mind, she got it!" Chris slapped his face again, leaving a red mark, as Chef revealed the entire puzzle as 'WINX CLUB.'

"Shouldn't the category have been like television or something?" Katie asked.

"No," Chris said, irritated.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (in shock) Seriously, how the heck did Lindsay do that?

Chris: (angry) Seriously, how the heck did Lindsay do that?

* * *

"This is really taking forever, you guys," Chris whined, stomping his foot as he took another envelope out of the tumbler, and opened it. "We're up to round nine, so things are really going to get tough now."

"Let me guess, you're going to drop a washer and dryer on my head," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"How did you--I mean, surprisingly, not this time," Chris said, irritated. "Guess we bought that washer and dryer for nothing."

"You got it for free at the city dump!" Chef yelled.

"They didn't have to know," Chris whispered loudly, irritated.

"We didn't really care, you know," Katie stated, drumming her fingers on her podium, bored.

"Stop it!" Chris whined, stomping his foot again. "You got the humiliate Katie… oh, this is lame!"

"Katie, I want you to know that you're a miserable excuse for a human being, and you should die in a fire," Katie said mockingly to herself. "In fact, I'm going to steal your top and expose to the whole world--"

"Enough! Enough! Enough!" Chris screamed. "You win, just please, keep the top on!" Chris angrily crumpled the note. "Seriously, why doesn't this card have the special Katie challenge on it?"

"I'm guessing you were lazy and just put it on random cards, probably?" Zoe said from backstage.

"Cut it out!" Chris whined again, stomping his foot again.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Zoe: I so called it.

* * *

"This is a good one!" Chris exclaimed, smirking. "No way you can do this one, Bridgette. For nine minutes, you have to stand on your hands! And you're clumsy, so it's going to be funny to watch you fall, and watch your dreams of a million dollars go down the drain! I love it!"

"Oh, shut up!" Bridgette snapped, then casually turned over and started walking around the stage on her hands.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: Oh, come on! Bridgette's like the klutziest contestant we've ever had on the show! How the hell did she do that for nine minutes straight?

Chef: Did pretty boy pay **any **attention to the show last season?

* * *

"This is ridiculous!" Chris yelled, making his hands into a strangling motion. "I'm getting tired, so one of you just lose already!" Chris angrily swiped an envelope from the tumbler, and tore it open. "The SAT analogy game! Get this right and you're still alive! Get it wrong and you're outta' here!" Chris motioned his thumb toward the Boat of Losers.

"What's the SAT?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"You know, that really hard test everyone takes to get into college," Chris said, then slapped his face. "Actually, it's no wonder you have no idea."

"I don't know what it is either," Bridgette said, looking down and turning red.

"You're both blonde bimbos, that's why," Chris said, smirking.

"Or because hardly anyone actually takes the SAT in Canada, you moron!" Zoe yelled from backstage.

"I mostly know from Conan, when he does those skits," Katie said, smiling.

"Then you know how this works," Chris said, smirking. "Just too bad Lindsay doesn't. You know how analogies work, I hope, Lindsay. Dog is to cat as puppy is to…"

"Kitty," Lindsay said, smiling.

"Aww, isn't that cute?" Chris said softly. "**But it's wrong!**" Chris screamed in Lindsay's face, knocking her down. "It's kitten, not kitty! Kitty is what stupid little kids say. It's called a kitten!" Chris shook his head. You're going to fail at the real one, so might as well get this over with: Katie is to hideous barbarian, as Chris is to…"

Lindsay was thinking it over for a few seconds before answer. "Hot stud muffin?"

Chris smiled. "That's… actually correct! It's such an awesome and true analogy, too. Katie really is a hideous barbarian, and I really am a hot stud muffin."

Lindsay raised an eyebrow. "That's… not really the--"

"You passed, you passed, and I'm proud of you," Chris said, smooshing Lindsay's hair with his hand.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (filing her nails) It wasn't that hard. Katie is the opposite of a hideous barbarian, so the right answer had to be the opposite of Kyle, right?

* * *

"And you've all made it to round ten," Chris said, yawning. "Somehow. So let's get it over with and have a nigh impossible challenge." Chris reached into the tumbler and pulled out another envelope, and opened it. "You get to play an impossible video game level, Katie. Lucky you." Chef rolled out a large TV, connected to a Nintendo Entertainment System, and put in a _Bubble Bobble _cartridge. "I'm sure you're familiar with this classic game, are you not?"

"What's _Bubble Bobble?" _Katie asked.

"It's this game where these cute little dragons kill these cute enemies after trapping them in bubbles," Lindsay answered. "It's fun, and it's not too hard."

"Except for level fifty-seven, at least," Chris said, laughing maniacally. "Seriously, I must have tried over a thousand times, and I was never able to get past it!"

Lindsay tapped her chin. "I don't remember which one fifty-seven was."

"Blocked it out of your memory, I'm sure," Chris said, shrugging.

"I don't even know the controls!" Katie said, worried.

"And I'm not telling you, so ha!" Chris exclaimed.

"It's not too hard," Lindsay said. "I can't really remember which buttons do what, though. I just kinda'… well, know where they are."

Katie nervously looked at the screen as Chris typed in a password, then gave the controller to Katie. "Beat the level and you're still alive. Lose all your lives, and it's Boat of Losers time for you!"

Katie was moving her green dragon left and right a bit, not really sure what to do, when a white beam killed her dragon. "This is hard."

"I know! And you're doing even worse than me!" Chris said, laughing.

"Oh, this is fifty-seven," Lindsay said, waving her hand dismissively. "This level wasn't that hard."

"Not that hard?" Chris yelled, throwing his hands into the air. "It's impossible! No one can beat this level!"

"All you have to do is jump on the bubbles in the middle of the level," Lindsay stated matter-of-factly.

"Wish I knew how to get bubbles to jump on. Or how to jump," Katie said, as she moved toward a cross that appeared. "What does the cross do?"

"Cross?" Chris said, nervously looking at the screen, then went wide-eyed. "No, no, **no!**"

"Help, get me away from the lightning!" Katie yelled, scared, but quickly got more confused. "Um, what just happened?"

"You beat the level!" Lindsay exclaimed, rushing up to Katie and glomping her. "You beat Chris!"

"That's like cheating!" Chris whined. "I mean, the stupid game never gave me a cross in that level!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Like, I know that Katie would've been bad at any level Chris made her play, but I didn't get why fifty-six was such a hard one. I never had any trouble with it.

Bridgette: I have no idea what that game was, but I thought it was cute. I especially liked the little flying whale, which was the cutest!

* * *

"Bridgette!" Chris shouted, reading another card, "These Brunch of Disgustingness cards seem to love you." Chris turned toward the other end of the stage. "Chef! Bring out the cereal!" Chef was grinning deviously as he brought out the serving tray, with ten bowls stacked atop one another. "You need ten bowls of this crap just to equal one bowl of Total, you know."

"What… is it?" Bridgette asked, nervously.

"I just told you! It's crap!" Chris exclaimed excitedly, then started laughing maniacally.

"The bowls are empty," Bridgette said, taking a closer look at the topmost bowl.

"Wait, what?" Chris said, blinking in confusion. Chris then walked over and checked the bowls, and noticed they were, indeed, empty. "What happened to the contents of these bowls?"

"I think Emily washed them," Zoe said from backstage. "Didn't you tell her to clean the dishes?"

"I didn't mean those, though!" Chris yelled. "Urgh, that girl is completely useless, I--"

Chris was cut off when a pair of hands reached from backstage, strangling him. "You. Do. Not. Talk. About. My. Sister. That. Way." Zoe stated menacingly.

"Sure thing, yeah," Chris said. Zoe let go, and Chris was breathing in deeply.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: At least not when Zoe's within earshot.

* * *

Bridgette had just finished the contents of her tenth bowl. "And it looks like you passed," Chris said, irritated. "Seriously, ten bowls of freshly mowed grass is just lame." Chris shrugged. "There might've been some bug poop in it or something. I don't know." Chris sighed as he reached into the tumbler again. "Lindsay, for your next challenge, you have to race me again!"

Lindsay shrugged. "I whupped you last time. I can do it again."

"Except this time, I won't be riding on a stupid bicycle," Chris said, smirking.

"With training wheels," Katie added, smiling innocently.

"Not important!" Chris yelled. "For round ten, I get a race car!" Lindsay gulped nervously.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: You know, I would say "how the heck was Lindsay supposed to beat that," but somehow, luck has really been on our side today. And against Chris'! (Katie pounded her fist into thee palm of her other hand.)

* * *

Lindsay was at the starting line, ready to take off on foot. Chris, on the other hand, was behind the wheel of his race car, grinning deviously. "See you at the finish line, loser, ha ha!"

"Good luck, Lindsay!" Katie exclaimed, waving sweetly from the sidelines.

"You can do it," Bridgette cheered.

"Won't do her any good," Chris said.

Chef walked over to the starting line, with gun in hand. "Ready, set, go!" Chef shouted, as he shot the gun into the air.

Lindsay had run off quickly, while Chris' race car was jerking around slowly. "What's wrong with this stupid thing?" Chris looked around the car. "A stick? You're making me ride a stick?"

"You said you wanted a race car! No one uses an automatic race car, fool!" Chef yelled.

"I can't drive this!" Chris whined, then stopped the car, and hurried to catch up with Lindsay on foot, but Lindsay had already won.

"Blondie wins!" Chef exclaimed. "And after that pathetic excuse of a race car driver wannabe, she deserved to win, too!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: (smiling) Always seems to work out, somehow.

Chef: How does pretty boy get by in life, not even knowing how to drive a stick?

* * *

"I am **really **getting sick of this!" Chris yelled, stomping his foot again, then collected himself. "Then again, we **are **almost to round thirteen… let us hope we don't have to make it that--"

"Does round thirteen have something to do with that mysterious blue envelope you didn't want to open earlier?" Katie asked, smiling innocently.

"Actually, yes," Chris said, irritated. "You really weren't supposed to even notice that, though."

"It's bright blue in a sea of white," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "Kinda' hard to miss. You know, that, and you putting it back in after you took it out earlier."

"That can wait a little, though," Chris stated. "For now is merely round eleven, and these challenges are getting truly diabolical!" Chris took out an envelope, then frowned. "Yeah, I was really hoping for another drop a heavy object on your head, Katie. We haven't got one of those in a while."

"So what slightly less horrible challenge must I face this time?" Katie said, rolling her eyes..

"Long division!" Chris exclaimed, as Chef rolled out the blackboard again, and handed Chris a piece of chalk. On the board, Chris wrote '158,272,678,795 ÷ 4,367.' Chris threw Katie the piece of chalk. "You have five minutes to solve it. Good luck! You'll need it," Chris taunted.

Katie put on her serious face, and wrote the problem in house form, and made a lot of guesses, and made a lot of erases, eventually coming up with an answer of 36,242,885, with a whole lot of ugly work beneath. Katie took a deep breath after solving it, and collapsed to the ground, breathing heavily.

"Wow… she actually got it," Chris said. "Only took her three minutes and forty-seven seconds, too. Thought for sure at the very least, she'd have like two seconds to spare. Way to make it anti-climactic."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Zoe: I mean, long division gives me nightmares, don't get me wrong, but… doesn't watching people doing math on TV put the viewers to sleep? (Zoe shrugs.) Guess it beats dropping heavy objects on Katie, still.

* * *

Chris slapped his face in frustration. "Not this stupid one again!"

"Which one is it?" Bridgette asked, rolling her eyes.

"That stupid 'stand on your hands' challenge again," Chris whined. "It was so boring last time."

Bridgette smirked. "Eleven minutes?"

Chris sighed. "Eleven minutes."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (banging his head on the side of the outhouse) Stupid, stupid idea for a mini-challenge!

* * *

"The beautiful Lindsay," Chris said, leaning on Lindsay's podium.

"Can you please scooch? You're kind of creepy," Lindsay said, uneasy.

"Fine," Chris said, looking at his card. "But you might not want to keep that attitude if you want to stay in the game."

"And what is **that **supposed to mean?" Lindsay shouted, angry.

"Quit being so damn frigid!" Chris yelled, throwing his arms up in the air. "And eleven minutes in the hot box might do just that!"

"Isn't that a bit suicidal?" Katie asked, nervous.

Chris shrugged, as Chef rolled out the hot box again. "Up to it, Lindsay?"

Lindsay put on her game face. "Bring it on!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette and Katie: (laughing uncontrollably)  
Katie: That was awesome!  
Bridgette: Totally!  
Katie: I can't believe Chris forgot to plug the thing back in!  
Bridgette: That look on his face, when Lindsay said how comfy she was in there, just priceless!

Mysterious Person in Black Who Sounds Exactly Like Zoe: Technically, Chris did plug it in. But I, the mysterious blobby entity, unplugged it, mwahaha! Say, I kind of like that evil laugh. Mwahaha! I could get used to that. Then again, is it really evil to not let Lindsay die? (The Mysterious Person taps his or her chin thoughtfully.)

* * *

"That felt good," Lindsay said, relaxing behind her podium, with Chris looking like he was going to pop a vein. "On to round twelve," Chris grumbled, as he took another envelope from the tumbler, and read the contents. "Katie, it looks like you're up for some _Wheel of Fortune. _Van… um, Chef, roll out the impossible puzzle!"

"Heh heh heh," Chef laughed as he rolled out another puzzle board, with only three spaces, reading '___.'

"The category is once again title," Chris announced. "Chef, show us any R, S, T, L, N, or E in that puzzle." Chef shook his head. "Guess you're out of luck."

"That's the whole puzzle," Katie said, staring at the puzzle board in astonishment.

"That's all of it, yes," Chris answered smugly.

"Just three letters," Katie stated, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Mmm-hmm," Chris replied, grinning. "You can get some more help, though. Three more consonants and a vowel."

"Q, X, Z, and U," Katie said, grinning mischievously.

"Wait, what?" Chris asked, surprised. "Those are really stupid letters to call out, you know. No words have Q, X, or Z, and U is like the rarest of all vowels!"

"Which is **exactly **the reason you'd make the toughest puzzle of all have those letters," Katie said, smirking as Chef turned over two of the three letters, having the puzzle read 'Q_X.' "Real bad choice of letters, I'd say."

Chris started crying, then turned away. "Just solve it already and get it over with!"

"Qax, Qex, Qix, Qox--"

"You got it," Chris said, and Chef revealed the final letter, having the puzzle read 'QIX.' "Oh, and 'Cocks'? Dirty, dirty mind you have there."

"Um, how else would you pronounce Q-O-X? And what the hell is _Qix, _anyway?"

"A stupid game where you have to draw a bunch of squares," Lindsay said, shrugging. "I prefer something cuter, like _Bubble Bobble _or _Ms. Pac-Man, _really."

"OK, seriously, it scares me that Lindsay actually knew what_ Qix _was," Chris said, holding his head up weakly.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (shrugging) Seriously, I worked long and hard to find an impossible _Wheel of Fortune _puzzle, and she solves it like it was something as easy as "dead-end street"? Urgh!

* * *

"Bridgette, I'm surer you remember the challenge where you had to guess the number of generic small round chewy fruit-flavored multi-colored candies in a jar, right?"

Bridgette feigned surprise, putting her hands to her face. "Oh my, no, I completely forgot about the challenge where I had to guess that there was one Skittle in the candy jar!"

"Ha ha, very funny," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "And by that I mean completely unfunny."

"You don't say!" Bridgette said, feigning shock again. "I thought I'd hit it big in all the comedy clubs, too." Bridgette shook her head. "Now my whole future's ruined. Thanks a lot, Chris!" Bridgette crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from Chris.

"Can you get serious already?" Chris whined?

Bridgette turned back around. "Gotta' entertain the troops somehow."

"Just entertain them by guessing how many generic small round chewy fruit-flavored multi-colored candies are in this Chris-sized jar behind me," Chris said, showing off the huge jar filled completely with generic small round chewy fruit-flavored multi-colored candies. "And remember, if your guess is not within a hundred above or a hundred below the actual number of candies, you lose, and you can never come back! Ever!"

Bridgette was looking smug. "Twenty-six million, eight hundred forty-three thousand, one hundred forty-one."

Chris' eye was twitching. "How… how… how did… exact number… how…"

"I think Kyle's brain broke," Lindsay said, looking nervous.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: You totally saw the answers when Chef brought out that sheet earlier, didn't you?  
Bridgette: (wearing an innocent smile) I thought it might be a good idea to remember those numbers, just in case.  
Katie: I can't believe you remembered all of those numbers.  
Bridgette: Well, I kind of just remembered the biggest one, which, lucky for me, was the only one I needed to remember. (Bridgette looks around.) Did you notice that there was nothing after round twelve?  
Katie: Yeah, I kinda' did… I'm a little nervous about that, really.

* * *

Chris was grinning deviously as he read Lindsay's card. "Rematch time, Lindsay! You and me, one last race. This one's for the gold!"

Lindsay narrowed her eyes toward Chris. "I'm ready."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: And if I can't win by making myself faster than Lindsay, I'm going to win this thing by making her slower! Though honestly, after getting a good look at Lindsay's monster feet, I must say, I'm a little turned off by her. You'd think as rich as she is, she could've had those things fixed.

* * *

"They're pretty, but they're really heavy," Lindsay complained, as she was putting her foot inside a solid gold boot.

"Hey, they're hiding your hideous feet, so don't complain," Chris said, irritated. "Now remember, if you take those off before the race is finished, you're automatically disqualified, and you must take a ride on the Boat of Losers."

"I plan on winning this thing," Lindsay said, narrowing her eyes toward Chris again.

"At the rate all of the challenges have been going today, you probably actually will beat him," Katie said, smirking, giving Lindsay a thumbs up. Lindsay smiled brightly back.

Chef walked up to the starting line, pointing a gun into the air. "Ready, set, go!" Chef fired the gun into the air, and Chris darted off toward the finish line, while Lindsay was struggling to walk. She was slowly and steadily getting there, but Chris had a huge lead.

"I'm going to win!" Chris said, excitedly. "I'm going to finally beat Lindsay!" Chris was twenty meters away from the finish line, while Lindsay was struggling way behind. "I'm actually going to--**AAUUGGHH!**" Chris collapsed to the ground, screaming in pain as he looked at his shoe, which had a bullet lodged in it. "**Chef! Blanks! Blanks!**"

"You said to save the blanks for when we're indoors!" Chef yelled back, then shrugged and went over to carry Chris back to the medical tent.

"No, no, the other way! You need to carry me over the finish line!" Chris screamed as Lindsay was getting close to the finish line, only about five meters away.

"She's pretty quick for having gold boots," Chef said, then carried Chris on his back toward the finish line.

"Faster!" Chris yelled. "Faster!"

"Shut up!" Chef yelled. "You really should be getting medical attention immediately!"

"After I win!" Chris yelled. "Almost there, almost… no! No! **No!**" Chris screamed, after seeing Lindsay cross the finish line a second before he did. "Use blanks! **Use blanks!**"

**

* * *

**

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I should probably feel bad for Chris getting shot in the foot like that.  
Bridgette: Except it turned out the bullet barely grazed him. It mostly just ruined his shoe.  
Katie: (shaking her head) You would never know that by his reaction.  
Bridgette: Can't argue that.

* * *

Katie, Bridgette, and Lindsay were standing behind their podiums, smiling innocently, as Chris stumbled his way onto the amphitheater stage. "I hate you."

"We hate you, too," Katie said, still smiling innocently.

"Somehow, and I really, **really **have no idea how, but you have all survived twelve rounds of torturous challenges." Chris angrily grabbed the blue envelope from the tumbler, and viciously opened it. "But your little shenanigans end **now!**" Chris started cackling to himself. "Katie, your thirteenth challenge, and the **very **final challenge of this sudden death round, is that you must kick yourself off the island!"

"Wait," Katie said, contorting her face, "so if I refuse the challenge, I get kicked off the island, but if I win, I have to voluntarily leave the island, so… there's no way to win."

"If you leave voluntarily, you'll be leaving with your dignity in tact," Chris stated, smiling smugly. "It'll make you less repulsive for the television viewing audience."

"But this isn't fair!" Katie yelled. "That's cheating!"

"Read your contracts!" Chris yelled. "My lawyers have assured me that I am perfectly within my rights to do this, and even Courtney's stupid lawyers can't stop me!"

"But it's not fair!" Katie yelled again.

"I don't give a damn!" Chris yelled, striking a victory pose. "I win! I win! **I win!**" Chris poked his finger into Katie's nose. "And **you lose!** I love that… you lose! I love it!" Chris danced and sang badly on the stage. "I beat Katie, I beat Katie, I beat Katie, I--"

"Wait!" Lindsay exclaimed, trying to look sweet.

Chris sighed, and rubbed his forehead. "What is it? Can't you just let me enjoy my victory?"

"I want to give Katie my free spin," Lindsay said, smiling.

"You would do that… for **her?**" Chris asked, disgusted.

"Well, yeah," Lindsay said sweetly. "That way, she could pass the challenge."

"Lindsay, what are you doing?" Bridgette, nervous, asked discreetly to Lindsay.

"Trust me," Lindsay said quietly, smiling bright.

"A battle of good versus evil," Chris said, stroking his chin. "You know, I'm feeling rather generous, and I like the idea of an epic battle between good and evil for the finale, so yes, you're allowed to pass free spins to others." Chris was grinning deviously as Lindsay walked over to Katie and handed her the free spin.

"See you in the final two, Katie!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming, glomping her friend.

"I wish we could've discussed this earlier," Bridgette said, whispering to Lindsay again.

"Trust me," Lindsay said, winking.

Chris shook his head. "Well Katie, to my surprise, Lindsay has quite generously given her free spin for you to use, so it looks like you don't have to perform this challenge." Chris put a vicious smile on his face. "So the challenge gets passed to the next person in line, which is Bridgette, meaning Lindsay just forced Bridgette to lose! I love it!" Chris was dancing in celebration again, singing badly again. "Lindsay made Bridgette lose! Lindsay made Bridgette lose! Ha ha!"

"I kind of wish Lindsay would've let me know earlier," Bridgette said, trying to hide her irritation.

"Don't worry, Bridgette," Lindsay said, beaming. "Chris told me the rules."

"Yeah, and the rules are that you lose, Bridgette!" Chris exclaimed.

"And Chris said I was allowed to pass my free spin to another person," Lindsay said, her face turning more serious.

"That was a hard decision for me to make, but turning you into reality TV's next most hated villain behind Katie, I couldn't resist it! Awesome TV! So callously knocking out Bridgette like that!"

"And I'm giving my **other **free spin to Bridgette," Lindsay said, smirking, handing her second free spin to Bridgette, then hugging her friend tightly, who wasn't sure how to react at first, but quickly hugged back.

"Wait, what?" Chris shouted, confused. "Second free spin?"

"Yeah," Lindsay said. "I think I got this one while you were away, and Chef took over as host temptationary." Lindsay tapped her chin. "Or that's what Bridgette explained to me."

Chris looked livid and confused. "But you can't--you--no one told me you had a second free spin! **Chef!**"

"What?" Chef yelled, walking onto the stage. "Can't a guy get no peace anymore?"

Chris slapped Chef's face. "Why didn't you tell me Lindsay had a second free spin?"

"Why didn't you ask?" Chef yelled, then punched Chris in the face, knocking him to the floor. "And don't hit me again if you know what's good for you!"

Chris picked himself up from the ground, angry. "This may just be the single stupidest thing anyone on this show has ever done! Do you even realize what you've done, Lindsay?"

"I eliminated myself," Lindsay stated, looking content. "I come from money, and I know I can count on my sister to help me out, since I know I'm going to need it. I think Courtney's going to help me out, too!" Lindsay smiled bright.

"You eliminated yourself!" Chris yelled, throwing his arms into the air.

"I'll live," Lindsay stated flatly, then grabbed Katie and Bridgette and hugged them tight. "Good luck, you two!"

"I can't believe you did that," Katie said, crying. "You're like, the bestest friend ever! I mean, except for Sadie. And Bridgette. And maybe Noah, if he counts. But you're up there, for sure!"

"And you're a genius, too!" Bridgette exclaimed, tearing up. "Don't let anyone call you stupid, because you've really proven over and over again that you've really got a brain in there, up until this plan with the free spins!" Bridgette sniffled. "You just have a unique way of thinking."

"Thank you," Lindsay said, beaming as she was squeezing Katie and Bridgette tight.

"Look, it's already sunset," Chris whined. "Can't you just leave already?"

Chef yawned. "Look, I'm tired. Let me take Lindsay to the hotel now and you can let Zoe cook for you, or something. Just want to get back and get to sleep."

"I don't want to make you guys suffer," Lindsay said, grinning. "I'll go quiet so you guys can eat something nice!" Lindsay walked off with Chef to the Boat of Losers, while Katie and Bridgette, tearing up, stood on the Dock of Shame, waving goodbye as the boat left, with Lindsay waving back, also tearing up.

"And what a miserable ending to this all," Chris said, sulking near the Dock of Shame. "Lindsay cheated to make sure that neither Katie nor Bridgette got voted off, and I fell right into her stupid little trap." Chris sighed. "Well, we are down to our final two. The innocent yet imbecilic Bridgette, and the hideous and sadistic Katie." Chris shook his head. "A while back, I actually wanted the Killer Chrises to crush the Screaming Pansies. And I always thought it was stupid when people said to be careful what you wish for, 'cause you might just get it, but it's absolutely true. Somehow, we've gone from two Killer Chrises and eight Screaming Pansies, to inexplicably, two Killer Chrises and zero Screaming Pansies." Chris shrugged. "No idea how that works."

"You wished hard enough, and your wish came true!" Katie exclaimed, looking lovey dovey toward Chris, who shuddered in disgust.

"Yeah… anyway, either the bumbling blonde Bridgette or the catty catastrophic Katie is going to win one million dollars! Who will it be? I don't really know. Neither one deserves to win, though. Seriously, wasn't Katie supposed to be kicked off in that hot box challenge? And Bridgette supposed to be kicked off in the very first challenge? And didn't Katie even play a big role in trying to get Bridgette kicked off? These kids are crazy, man, I'm telling you." Chris shook his head, then put on his big smile and started making dramatic gestures. "It's going to be an epic battle between good and evil, Bridgette versus Katie, and the winner of this epic showdown is coming up next time on _Total Drama Lindsay."_

"Um… what?" Katie said, looking confused. "Did you just say--"

"I knew you two were going to do it if I didn't say it, so I just gave up today! Happy?"

"We weren't really listening," Bridgette said, embarrassed. "Sorry!"

"I really hate you two," Chris said, as he started walking away, grumbling. Bridgette and Katie were giggling on the Dock of Shame.

* * *

Lindsay had stepped off the Dock of Shame, and almost immediately saw a guy with a package. "Hi, Mr… something!" Lindsay said sweetly.

"Oh, hey," the guy said. "Are you Courtney, by any chance?""No, I'm Lindsay," Lindsay said, beaming, then started tapping her chin. "At least I'm pretty sure that… no, I **am **Lindsay!"

"Well, do you know Courtney?" the guy asked.

"Oh, she's like one of my bestest friends!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming, putting her hands together excitedly. "I can't wait to see her!"

"Well, can you give her this package that she ordered?" the guy asked.

"Oh, yes, yes! Right away!" Lindsay exclaimed, as she hurried inside the Playa' Des Losers.

The guy shrugged. "Whatever."

* * *

Losers: Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Beth, Izzy, Justin, Owen, Sadie, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel, Trent, Harold, Courtney, Gwen, Leshawna, Tyler, Heather, Cody, Lindsay

Remaining Contestants: Bridgette, Katie

* * *

Lindsay is no more. I am sorry, and I love Lindsay too, but she's out of the contest. It's all between Bridgette and Katie now… but that's going to have to wait for Chapter 53. 'Cause, of course, I'm sure you guys know what's coming up next… right?


	52. Total Drama Izzy IV

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 52: Total Drama Izzy IV**

Nicole was sitting in the middle of the stage, sitting on the right side of a small green sofa, tapping her fingers nervously on the right arm, looking around. On the right side of the stage was a pair of bleacher-style cushioned-backed. On the top row, sitting from left to right, were Courtney, Duncan, DJ, Sadie, Noah, and Eva. On the bottom row, sitting from left to right, were Beth, Geoff, Trent, Harold, Ezekiel, and Owen. On the opposite end of the stage was another pair of bleacher-style cushioned-backed seats, though those were empty.

Nicole's cell phone rang, and she answered quickly. "Hello? Yes, we're all waiting for you. No, we haven't started yet. Yes, Owen's sitting on Justin again."

"No I'm not," Owen whined. "I made extra sure this time."

"Justin didn't really want to be around everyone," Beth said, shrugging.

"OK… Owen isn't sitting on him, but he's still not here," Nicole said into the phone, rubbing her forehead in frustration, then went wide-eyed. "I'm not really sure that's such a good idea." Nicole shook her head, then sighed. "Fine, fine, we're here waiting for you." Nicole hung up the phone, then turned to the twelve contestants seated to her left. "I guess we've got some time to kill."

"Is it enough time for lunch?" Owen asked, tapping his fingers together, hopeful.

"We really should just stay put for now," Nicole stated. "Izzy said she'll be here in a few minutes."

"But I'm really, really hungry," Owen whined, rubbing his stomach. "Look, I'll be really quick guys." Owen walked off the stage.

Nicole shook her head. "Courtney, can I ask about the present?"

"What present? There's no present!" Courtney exclaimed, uncomfortably.

"The… one you have near your feet… OK, I won't ask," Nicole said. "We all have our secrets, and I won't press."

"Thank you," Courtney said, smiling.

"So," Nicole started, leaning back on the sofa, pulling her legs up, "Sadie, DJ, you two an item or what?"

"Item," Duncan said, rolling his eyes. "No one but my dorky little sister says 'item' anymore."

"We're just friends," Sadie said, smiling bright, then hugging DJ lightly.

"Just like Katie and him are just friends," Eva said, pointing to Noah next to her.

"Why would I try to hide something so obvious to everyone with half a brain?" Noah stated, looking at Eva. "Which is pretty much all of you who aren't named Owen or Lindsay. And I think you're confusing me with Miss CIT-in-Denial over there," Noah said, pointing over toward Courtney.

"I'm not in denial!" Courtney exclaimed, nervously waving her hands in front of her. "I like Duncan, really."

"Want to prove it right here, right now?" Duncan asked, smirking, puckering his lips toward her.

"Eww, gross," Courtney said, reeling back.

Izzy was rushing in, a little short of breath, while a big, fat guy with hair covering his eyes followed her in, looking a bit lost. Izzy was leaning on the arm on the sofa away from Nicole, catching her breath.

"Hi, I'm Bob," the big guy said.

Izzy quickly, nervously looked behind her, then rushed him off the stage, while Nicole and the twelve contestants looked off stage in confusion, hearing a lot of noises.

After a while, Nicole turned back to the contestants. "So, Geoff, your girl is in the final two."

"Yeah, and I'm, like, stoked about that!" Geoff exclaimed, pumping his fists.

Nicole giggled a bit, then looked up to Noah. "And I guess you're totally stoked too, I'm betting."

"No," Noah stated flatly. "I'm glad she's in the final two, mind you, but I'm not going to start bouncing around like a Neanderthal because of it."

"Neanderthal, woot!" Geoff exclaimed, pumping his fist more.

"He just insulted you," Courtney stated, then rolled her eyes. "Actually, I suppose it fits."

"Hey!" Duncan exclaimed. "You'd better not be giving all the other guys here pet names, Princess."

"That's not a pet name!" Courtney yelled, then shrugged. "Urgh!"

Izzy triumphantly returned to the stage, dusting off her hands as she walked over to her seat on the sofa in the middle of the room and sat down. "Welcome to _Total Drama Izzy, _everyone's favorite show where we get the grimy dirt on all your favorite _Total Drama _contestants!" Izzy exclaimed, rubbing her hands together excitedly. "Now, our first guest--"

"Who's Bob?" Courtney asked, curious.

"No one," Izzy answered, then quickly changed the subject. "Now, our first guest--"

"We all saw him," Courtney said, irritated. "You can't just pretend we didn't see him."

"I see how this is going to be," Izzy said, getting irritated herself. "Do you want to tell me what's inside that poorly-hidden gift you have by your feet?"

"No," Courtney answered, rolling her eyes. "It's a surprise for--"

"You have your secrets, I have mine, and I'm sure everything will be revealed in due time."

"I'd like to know who the redhead girl wearing green was," Eva asked, irritated. "I didn't much like her."

"Most of us fear her," Noah stated. "But we still call her 'Izzy.'"

Gee, no wonder you're such a genius," Eva said, rolling her eyes. "I meant another redhead girl wearing green. One with shorter hair."

Izzy's eyes shot wide open, then she slapped her face. "Pretend she wasn't there! Can't these guys stay in their rooms like they're supposed to?"

"Who's supposed to stay in their rooms?" Beth asked innocently.

"Not important!" Izzy yelled, leaping onto the couch, and throwing her arms into the air. "I promise I'll explain! Later! For legal reasons--ones I'm sure Courtney can understand--not yet!"

"O… K," Nicole said, schooching farther from Izzy on the sofa. "You're worrying me a bit."

"Oh," Izzy said, then resumed her normal smile. "Sorry about that. It's just all these questions driving me mad! Err, madder, I guess, since I'm quite mad normally. Hey, I should totally be a scientist when I grow up, and I could be a mad scientist, and that'd be so totally awesome! And I could do all these crazy experiments on Slimer, since that's one of those things mad scientists do, I guess." Izzy shrugged.

Gwen walked onto the stage, smirking as she sat near Izzy on the left-side bleacher seats, while Izzy continued rambling. "I could also find a bunch of little forest animals, and entrap them inside robotic bodies, since that's a popular hobby among the mad scientists' cliques. Oh yeah, mad scientists totally have cliques, and I really want to be in the one with Dr. Wily, 'cause seriously, after what, creating like seventy-two unique killer robots all by himself, boy, that's one guy you sure want to have on your side. Except I'd totally come up with a Spike Man." Izzy shook her head. "You'd think an evil genius like Wily would've come up with that one himself."

"Izzy?" Gwen asked, nervously looking over to Izzy as she kept babbling on.

Izzy casually took out her cell phone and texted something as she continued talking. "I bet Chris is mostly jealous that he never graduated from evil medical school. I'm sure he'd have loved to be a mad scientist himself, and he's certainly mad enough, don't get me wrong, but he's a little on the stupid side, really." Izzy shook her head. "Such a shame, to see all that mad potential gone to waste. 'Sides, he's not that fun. A real mad scientist would want to really get into his own work, while Chris just likes watching others suffer. I mean, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with watching others suffer, but it's only truly meaningful if you're suffering with them!"

"Ashley," a girl's voice calmly said behind Gwen.

Gwen screamed as she bolted straight into the air, holding on for dear life to one of the lights in the ceiling. "I'm not Ashley!" Gwen narrowed her eyes, then looked over to Duncan. "I'd better not find out you told anyone!"

"What, I'm innocent!" Duncan defended himself, looking hurt, then smirked. "Well, actually, I'm not, but I wouldn't tell anyone your secret."

Courtney pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "Still wish he'd tell me. I should know this!" Courtney then looked a bit guilty. "I mean, I could help, not that I need to hear of idle gossip, mind you."

"Ashley, it's OK," the blonde girl said, sitting in a wheelchair, looking up at Gwen. "I'm not pressing charges." The girl looked down. "And I'm really sorry for what I did to you. I mean, I kind of deserve to go to jail, too."

"Can someone explain what's going on here?" Courtney asked, contorting her face.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the girl said, smiling toward Courtney. "I'm Jacqueline, and… Gwen is it now?"

"Gwen is correct." Courtney started tapping her chin. "Didn't you call her Ashley earlier?"

"The way you put two and two together," Noah stated, shaking his head. "You really are as intelligent as they say."

"If you know what's good for you tiny, you'll shut up," Duncan said threateningly, glaring over at Noah.

"I thought it was funny," Eva said, shrugging, then looked over to Duncan. "And when I'm laughing, I'm not ripping people's heads off, so you might want to let me laugh."

"Whatever," Duncan said, shrugging.

"Anyone want to trade seats?" DJ asked nervously, looking over to both Duncan and Eva on his sides.

"Anyway, I'm sorry, Ash… I mean, Gwen," Jacqueline said, looking up as Gwen started to lose her grip, then fell down to the floor. Jacqueline rolled over a little to help Gwen up.

"Thanks," Gwen said, looking highly embarrassed as she walked over to her seat on the left-side seats, then started rubbing her arm nervously. "Look, I'm really sorry for what I did."

"I'd hug you if it wasn't so hard," Jacqueline said, tearing up. "I'm really sorry too!"

"Can somebody please explain who this girl is?" Courtney said, irritated.

"Jacqueline, obviously," Noah stated, smirking.

"You know what I mean!" Courtney shouted.

"I'm more curious how Izzy found out about her," Duncan said, looking suspiciously at Izzy, who was beaming.

"I have my ways," Izzy said. "Like the Internet! And hacking into police database files!" Izzy shifted her eyes about. "Interesting things they like to keep secret from the general public, for some bizarro reason." Izzy shrugged. "But it wasn't enough to keep this cute little redhead away, nuh-uh, it wasn't!"

"Look, I can--" Jacqueline started, then stopped herself, then turned to Gwen. "I mean, do you want me to tell them?"

"I'd kind of rather we didn't go into that," Gwen said, looking guilty.

"Point is, we both did things to each other that were really, really terrible, and I suppose that's all that needs to be said on the matter," Jacqueline said.

"I can't believe Gwen would hurt someone in a wheelchair," Beth said, nervous.

"I… wasn't in a wheelchair back then," Jacqueline said, nervous.

"Oh," Beth said, nodding, then looked a little uncomfortable. "Oh!"

"I am surprised you're not, well, angrier, though," Gwen said, nervous.

Jacqueline smiled. "I was eleven. I grew up. And I did want revenge, believe me. But we couldn't locate you, and over time, I just kind of matured, I guess. Started hating stupid high school games, and… well, I wanted to change. I wanted to become a better person." Jacqueline started crying and reached over, looking like she wanted to hug Gwen. Gwen looked a little worried at first, but gave in, stood up and hugged Jacqueline back.

"I'm really, really sorry," Gwen said, tearing up.

"We could be here all day apologizing to each other," Jacqueline said. "I must warn you though Ash… Gwen. Whatever. I'm still a little bit… peppy!" Jacqueline clawed upon uttering 'peppy.'

Gwen chuckled a bit. "I'm better with that. No more spiting people just for being popular."

"That's good to know, since I am still popular," Jacqueline said, proudly pointing her hand to herself. "Just… nicer. Turns out you can be both popular and nice." Jacqueline beamed.

"I'm popular and nice," Trent said, nervously looking around. "Aren't I?"

"Of course!" Gwen exclaimed, smiling bright. "You're awesome, Trent!"

"Must be nice having a guy who needs constant reassuring!" Duncan joked.

"Be nice!" Jacqueline yelled, then hummed a can of mace at Duncan's head.

"You've got a nice arm there," Gwen said, grinning.

"They get a nice workout, just walking around," Jacqueline said, grinning back.

"I apologize on behalf of Duncan for his oafish behavior," Courtney stated, grabbing the mace and walking over to Jacqueline to hand it back. "If need be, feel free to throw that right back."

"Sure thing," Jacqueline said, glaring at Duncan, who was rubbing his head.

"Well, I'm glad that worked out," Izzy said, wiping her forehead. "I wasn't sure if Jacqueline was going to want to make up, or if she was going to kill you when she got here."

"Wait," Trent said, angry, "you didn't know how Jacqueline was going to… I mean, for all you knew, she was going to kill Gwen, and you brought her here?"

"No, I'd already found and talked to Jacqueline," Izzy said, shrugging. "I was hoping to get more of a rise out of Gwen, though. Kind of forgot you were over there, really."

"Oh," Trent said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well… yeah."

"Izzy grilled me pretty harsh before she agreed to bring me here," Jacqueline said, smiling bright to Gwen. "She even used a flashlight in broad day--"

"Shush!" Izzy shouted. "We're not allowed to use that joke."

"Joke?" Jacqueline asked, confused. "But I wasn't telling a joke."

"Not the point," Izzy said, holding her hand out. "You know, we've been having so much fun with the little reunion, that I haven't even had a chance to ask any questions yet."

"How many more questions can you have?" Gwen asked. "I mean, this isn't exactly the first time I got kicked off the show."

"I bet you get back on the show next episode," Izzy said, rubbing her chin. "I mean, you seem to get either kicked off or put back on after every one of these _Total Drama Izzy _episodes, so I'd almost expect it, except for the whole thing being the last episode coming up."

"That actually is kind of strange," Nicole said, looking deep in thought.

"And totally stupid, so I'll just ask my first question," Izzy said, narrowing her eyes toward Gwen. "Do you believe it was fair that you were voted off?"

"Yes," Gwen said, smiling. "I was in a bad place. Heather and the others were just looking out for me."

"Wait," Jacqueline said, motioning her hands for Gwen to stop. "Just hold on a minute. Heather looking out for you?"

Gwen was grinning. "Remember that whole "people change" speech you gave just a few minutes ago?"

"Yeah, but she was Heather!" Jacqueline exclaimed. "Like, most evil girl in the universe Heather! I wasn't that bad!"

"Really," Gwen said, raising an eyebrow. "How quickly we forget the time when you went to McDonald's to order--"

"Can we please not bring that up?" Jacqueline asked, looking guilty. "I am **so so sorry **that I did that to you, and I'd just rather we not delve into it."

"I guess that's fair," Gwen said, smiling.

"Personally, I'll be happy so long as we quit mentioning McDonald's," Nicole said. "After all the promotion Chris gave to them a while back, I don't ever really want to hear of that place again."

"Anyway, Heather's nice now, I promise!" Gwen exclaimed to Jacqueline.

Jacqueline sighed. "I guess I'll just have to trust you on this. I mean, I know I changed, but it just seems so… something, I don't know. I'm sorry I'm not being more open minded here. I just remember all the things she did last year."

"Um, hello, question?" Izzy asked, waving her hands in the air. "How did you feel about being kicked off?"

"I… thought I answered?" Gwen asked, blinking in confusion.

"Didn't she already say Heather--I still shudder upon speaking that name--and her other friends were worried about Gwen's health, or something?" Jacqueline added, somewhat irritated.

"Fine," Izzy said, irritated herself. "The next question is for Gwen."

"For me?" Gwen asked, feigning surprise. "I'm shocked."

"What do you think about Leshawna?" Izzy asked, looking excited.

Gwen took a deep breath. "I hate what she did to me. I hate that she spread my diary around for her own selfish agenda, and I hate how she tried to cover up her misdoings." Gwen started crying. "And she's a beautiful, wonderful, caring person, and I hated hating her. When I thought about things that I had done, worse things that what Leshawna did, to this poor girl here," Gwen said, pointing to Jacqueline, "and I knew how badly I wanted forgiveness…" Gwen trailed off, and hugged Jacqueline tight, who hugged back, also crying. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Jacqueline said sweetly.

"Boring!" Duncan shouted. Jacqueline glared, then threw her mace at Duncan's head again, except he moved his head out of the way, and the mace flew past him.

"Sorry Courtney, I tried," Jacqueline said, shrugging.

"It's OK," Courtney said, smiling as she walked over to pick up the mace, then instantly hummed it at the back of Duncan's head, causing him to rub the back of his head in pain. "Don't make me do that again, Duncan." Courtney picked the mace back up and walked over to hand it back to Jacqueline, then returned to her seat.

"Really, though, this is kind of, well, boring," Geoff said, looking uneasy. "I mean, all this mushy stuff… does anyone really want to watch this all the time?"

"You're one to talk," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.

"Wait, what?" Geoff asked, scratching his hat.

"She means it takes one to know one," Noah stated.

"Huh?" Geoff asked, shrugging.

"He needs little words, guys," Sadie said, grinning. "They mean they don't like watching you and Bridgette make out all the time."

"Oh," Geoff said, then looked down. "But I haven't been doing that this year, really!"

"Because you were, quite thankfully, the first person voted out this season," Courtney stated, rolling her eyes again.

"That's harsh, man," Geoff said, looking down.

"When Bridgette wins, you'll be thankful for it," Courtney said condescendingly.

"You mean when Katie wins," Sadie said, smiling.

"Of course not," Courtney said, irritated. "Katie doesn't stand a chance against the multi-talented Bridgette."

Sadie stuck out her tongue. "But Noah's, like, really smart, and he knows Katie's going to win, and you can't fight him, 'cause he's really smart!"

"For the record, yes, I am supporting Katie to win, but I really don't know whether or not she will actually win," Noah stated.

"I'm really smart too," Courtney said, a bit flustered.

"Noah's smarter though," Sadie said casually. "I'm pretty sure his biography said he was the smartest."

"It was wrong, I'm the smartest!" Courtney yelled.

"Chill, Princess, no one really cares about those lame biographies," Duncan said, resting his head in his hands behind his head.

"I care!" Courtney yelled, getting more irritated.

"Fine, you're smarter than me if it'll shut you up," Noah said, irritated. "If it'll make you happy, I'll also concede to you being stronger than me, having better skin than me, and having more facial hair than me."

"Thank… wait, what?" Courtney asked, contorting her face.

"Am I even still hosting this thing?" Izzy asked, somewhat irritated. "Seriously, why am I even here?"

Courtney looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry for both my rude behavior, and **their **rude behavior," Courtney said in disgust, pointing over to the Sadie and Noah vicinity of the seat.

"That's good, since I'd like to finish this show before the final challenge starts," Izzy said, dragging out a large bag from behind her sofa, and pulling out an envelope. "And it's mail time! Oh, how Izzy loves mail time!" Izzy ripped open an envelope and pulled out the letter inside. "This letter is from Ellie. What a horrible name. Dear Gwen, you're awesome! I like how you're different by being goth, and not being like everybody else, 'cause being like other people sucks! I wear my shirts inside out, since other people don't do that, and I wear socks on my hands since other people don't do that either, and I get beat up at school often, but at least I'm not like those people who do everything the same just to be like everybody else! I eat my soup with a fork, go swimming in the winter, and only proceed through traffic lights when the light is red. Just like you! Sincerely, Ellie."

"She goes through red lights?" Gwen asked, blinking in confusion.

"Well, if you wait for the light to turn green, you're just like everyone else," Izzy said, shrugging. And that's just what **they **want you to do.

"If by 'they,' you mean 'people who don't want to die in a horrible car accident,' then yes," Nicole said, a bit horrified.

"There's nothing wrong with being the same," Jacqueline said, shaking her head. "There's nothing wrong with being different, either, but if you're being different just to be different, that's not really being true to yourself, either."

"Yeah, her answer," Gwen said, smiling innocently.

"OK," Izzy said, shrugging as she opened another letter. "This one's from Glenda. Dear Gwen, can you dump Trent? I really like him, but he keeps obsessing over you, so be a dear and break up with him so someone else can have a turn, OK? Thank you! Love, Glenda."

"Love?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Wasn't love just oozing from that letter though?" Jacqueline asked, chuckling a bit.

"You don't have to dump me just because the letter told you to, you know," Trent said, a bit nervous.

"If she were going to dump you because a stranger told her to, then she wasn't the right woman for you anyway," Noah stated.

"I guess," Trent said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck, then nervously looking over to Gwen. "We're still together, right?"

"Yes, Trent," Gwen said, smiling.

"And we have another surprise for you!" Izzy exclaimed, as a gothic-looking blue-haired girl leapt out onto the stage and glomped Gwen.

"Hi!" the girl sang out, and then turned to Jacqueline and glomped here. "So nice that you two are friends now!"

"And this is…" Courtney started, motioning her hand for Izzy to continue.

"Oh, Pixie Corpse," Izzy said. "She got out of juvie."

"Wait, this was the one who was in juvie?" Beth asked, confused. "She seems so friendly, though."

"Oh, I am!" Pixie Corpse exclaimed, smiling bright. "Let's just say that both the 'pixie' and 'corpse' parts of my name are meaningful!"

"Believe me, she can get surprisingly dark sometimes," Gwen said, smirking. "Did you get to see Marilyn and Reaper?"

"Oh, yes," Pixie Corpse said, nodding. "Izzy was worried about the stage getting too crowded, but we can all meet up after the show, she promised!" Pixie Corpse looked around the stage suspiciously. "Are you sure you don't want me to off Heather for ya'?"

"She's nice now, really," Gwen said.

Izzy sniffled, wiping her eye. "I love a happy reunion. So sweet! But our next guest will need--"

"Can I ask a question first?" Gwen asked, not sounding too happy."

Izzy rubbed her forehead. "Shoot."

"There was some redhead wearing a lot of green--"

"I'm a redhead who wears a lot of green, and we don't need to go any further into the matter," Izzy said, shaking her head.

Gwen was looking irritated. "I wasn't talking about you--"

"I said we do not need to go any further into the matter!" Izzy stated, sounding angry, but then quickly resumed her cheerful demeanor. "Anyway, our next guest will need to hope her reunion with us will be happy, as she's made a lot of enemies this season. A lot a lot of enemies. She's thrown Heather off a cliff, framed Heather for reading Gwen's diary, and broke Courtney's leg--"

"You really don't need to continually bring that up," Courtney said, irritated, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Well, of course I don't need to," Izzy said. "But I do want to remind our viewers of what she's done in the show." Izzy shrugged. "Anyway, here she is, Leshawna!"

Pixie Corpse and Gwen moved over to give Leshawna room to sit, while Jacqueline wheeled herself over to the other side of the seats as Leshawna strutted out, waving, though was quickly met with boos, and had a tomato thrown at her.

"Can I put that in my salad?" Izzy asked, as she walked over to remove the squashed tomato on Leshawna's face, and put it down her skirt. "This is going to be so yummy later on."

"Boo! Boo!" Duncan called out.

Courtney elbowed Duncan's chest. "Cut it out."

Leshawna and Gwen hugged each other, then both sat, looking toward Izzy.

"So, your name is Leshawna, right?" Izzy asked.

"What kind of a question is that?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow. "Of course that's my name!"

"Occupation?" Izzy asked.

"McDonald's, I guess," Leshawna answered, shrugging. "Really though, do we need to keep givin' 'em free advertising?"

Izzy tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Good point. So then, let me ask something more interesting." Izzy leapt up into Leshawna's lap, and started shaking her shoulders violently. "What the hell were you thinking?" Izzy stepped off of Leshawna's lap, though was still glaring.

Leshawna ducked down, looking guilty. "I wasn't really thinking. I made a huge-ass mistake because I wasn't thinking." Leshawna looked to Gwen. "I am so, so sorry girlfriend."

"I'm sorry I took so long to forgive you," Gwen said, smiling back, as the two hugged again.

"You deserved to be angry with me," Leshawna said.

"Well, yeah," Gwen said, uneasy, as the two let go. "I'm not exactly little miss innocent either, though. None of us are."

"I didn't do anything wrong," Beth said, looking down.

"Well, I kinda' meant the four of us over here," Gwen said. "I'm not as sure about you guys." Beth sighed in relief.

"Why did you do it, though?" Izzy asked.

Leshawna shook her head. "I don't even know. I mean, I did it to protect Gwen from Heather, 'cause I knew she was gonna' do something really awful to Gwen if I didn't get her voted off first."

"And the best way to do that was by doing something really awful to Gwen first," Izzy said, not believing, nodding her head. "Look, I'm crazy, and even I don't think that makes any sense."

"I kind of question myself," Leshawna said, holding back tears. "I had myself convinced that I was doing it all to protect Gwen from Heather, but I really don't know anymore. I'm not really sure… it's kind of a blur. I do think, at least in part, it was more about getting revenge on Heather. Maybe even mostly about that. I wish I could understand what I was thinking better than I do."

"But why did you want revenge on Heather, anyway?" Izzy asked. "I mean, sure, she was mean last year, but can't you just let it go after all this time?"

"I couldn't," Leshawna said, with her hands held together in her lap. "Not when Heather had tormented me and my friends for a few years."

"Years?" Gwen asked, confused.

"Well, not Heather Heather. A different Heather-like girl," Leshawna said. "A girl I used to be really good friends with."

"A girl named Madison Cherry," Izzy stated solemnly.

"Yeah, that was--wait," Leshawna said, looking concerned. "How did you know her name?"

"Considering my presence here, it really shouldn't be that shocking," Jacqueline stated, holding up a finger.

"I think someone missed her cue," Izzy said, a bit irritated, as she walked off the stage, past Leshawna and Gwen. Mumbling could be heard, and after about half a minute, Izzy was dragging a nicely-dressed uncomfortable-looking blonde girl by the arm, still holding the girl's arm as Izzy sat down in her seat. The girl was looking at Leshawna uncomfortably, and there was silence for about half a minute, before Izzy took a pin out from her skirt, and dropped it on the floor. "You all heard that, right?" Izzy asked. Izzy drummed her fingerss for a few seconds on the arm of the sofa. "Say something!"

"**I hate you!**" the girl screamed, then collapsed to the ground, sobbing.

"OK, that didn't go according to plan," Izzy said, looking around nervously. Courtney looked around nervously as well, then walked up to the girl, putting her hand on the girl's back. "Why do you hate--"

"**Don't touch me!**" the girl screamed, slapping Courtney hard.

Courtney was rubbing her sore cheek. "OK, that was really unnecessary. I was only trying to help--"

"**I don't need your kind of help!**" the girl screamed, then looked a bit confused, and clung to Courtney. "I'm sorry," she said, crying. "I'm not… I don't know."

"You're not going to hit me again, I hope," Courtney said, looking down at the girl.

"I kind of lost it," the girl said, still crying profusely. "That girl, though--"

"Leshawna?" Courtney asked. "She's actually a pretty nice person. Unless you know something we don't."

"She broke in my home and stole all of my stuff!" the girl cried. "Mother said that's what people like her do."

"People like… wait a minute," Courtney said, sounding more offended. "By people like her, you mean--"

"Black people, yes," the girl said. "Father said she broke in while Mother and I were having a nice mother-daughter day, and just took all of my stuff."

"And you believed that," Courtney stated flatly. "And you should probably know that I'm also black, as you refer to it."

"You are?" the girl said, blinking in confusion. "You seemed so nice on the show last year, though."

"Courtney was nice last year?" Sadie asked, confused. "I don't really remember that."

"Neither do I," Harold said, a bit annoyed.

"No one liked you last year," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"Really, I don't get it," the girl said, still crying. "You seem so… well, snobby." The girl's eyes went wide. "I don't mean that you were mean or anything like that, but I just… not sure how to describe it? You didn't seem like a bully or a thug or anything."

"We're not all like that," Courtney stated. "Most of us aren't, and I do wish the media in general would kindly cut out that stupid perception that's only making it harder for us anyway." Courtney was tapping on her chin. "Izzy mentioned a Madison, is that you?"

"Yes," the girl said, looking down at her feet, curled up on the floor.

"And you said that Leshawna broke into your house when you were not there to see her."

"Yes," the girl said, then looked like something went off in her head. "Wait, are you suggesting that my parents lied to me?"

"I'm not sure how to put this delicately, but yes," Courtney said, nervous.

"Madison?" Leshawna asked, a bit hopeful.

Madison immediately glomped Leshawna, crying profusely. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, girl," Leshawna said, crying herself. "Even have me cryin' now."

"I'm all screwed up," Madison said. "I was so miserable when I couldn't see you anymore, you abandoned me, did things to make me hate you, which… actually, did you do any of that stuff?"

"Wait, your parents told you more lies about Leshawna?" Courtney asked, worried.

"I'm guessing they were lies," Madison said. "I don't know. I miss our old friendship, though. You were my best friend!"

"You were mine too, girl," Leshawna, said, smiling, still hugging Madison.

"I need help, though," Madison said. "Like real… I'm messed up in my head. I needed to get away from my parents, and I don't think they're going to let me back in after this." Madison started sobbing harder. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"I'll help," Leshawna said. "I don't know what I'm gonna' do, but I'll do what I can. It's just great to have my old friend back!"

"I'm not back, though," Madison said. "I know I'm going to say something offensive, either accidentally, or getting mad at your friends, or something. I'm really not right in my head."

"You want help, though, and that's a start," Leshawna said, smiling. "All you can do is try your best."

"Thank you," Madison said. "Jasmine's really funny, you know. Not that I ever really wanted to admit that before, but… well, she is!"

"Believe me, you start hanging out with her more, and you get tired of it really quick," Leshawna said, laughing.

"My card," Courtney said, handing a business card to Madison before returning to her seat. "If you need some help, I can surely use the on-hands practice."

"So you want to grow up to be a masseuse," Madison said, raising an eyebrow.

"What, no!" Courtney defended herself, getting flustered.

"Kidding, kidding!" Madison said, smiling, as she sat to Leshawna's right.

"That was kind of intense," Nicole said, as she took out a bag of mail from behind the couch. "I'm guessing you want this now, Izzy?"

"Read my mind," Izzy said as she removed an envelope from the bag, and opened it, pulling out the letter inside. "This one's from Roy. Dear Leshawna, you fat, girl! You need to lose some weight, or you're gonna' die… argh!" Izzy tore the letter to shreds. "OK, that was a stupid letter."

"I'm not **that **big, seriously!" Leshawna said, irritated. "So I'm never going to be a supermodel. Big deal!"

"Lindsay might think it's a big deal," Gwen said, chuckling to herself.

"Real mature, Gwen," Courtney stated, irritated, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Let's try this one," Izzy said, taking out another letter. "This one's from Wade. Dear Leshawna, you know, Courtney's really irritating and all, and I think you and Duncan together would be, like, so hot!"

"No," Duncan stated flatly.

"Look, I'm flattered," Leshawna said, looking embarrassed. "Duncan's taken, though, and Leshawna don't steal boyfriends. And Courtney's a nice girl, really. I wouldn't do that to her."

"You'd just break her leg," Duncan said, smirking.

Leshawna looked down, guilty, with her hands held together in her lap. "I'm really sorry about that."

Courtney elbowed Duncan in the chest again. "Again, you're forgiven. I wish some people would quit bringing that up over and over again."

"Why do you keep defending her, anyway?" Duncan shouted. "She didn't break your leg to protect Gwen! She didn't even do it to get revenge on Heather! She did it out of pure selfishness! Just because you were coming too close to figuring out the truth!"

Courtney shook her head. "She apologized for it. Multiple times. And she's been through a lot."

"Courtney's been better about forgiving this year," Sadie said, smiling. "It's a good thing."

"I still don't like it," Duncan said, pouting.

"I'm proud of you," Nicole said, smiling. "I mean, not the whole convoluted revenge thing, but trying hard to make up for doing that." Nicole smirked. "Plus, you've got a great ass."

"Really?" Leshawna said, a bit embarrassed. "I mean, you're not hitting on me or nothin'--"

"Just a compliment," Nicole said. "I mean, yeah, you're a little fat, but so what? You carry it fine!" Nicole gave a thumbs up.

"Thank you," Leshawna said, smiling.

"I carry it good too, right?" Sadie asked, hopeful.

"Izzy, you have another question, right?" Nicole quickly asked.

"Another… oh yeah, another letter!" Izzy removed another envelope from the bag, and started reading the letter inside. "This one's from Orson. What stupid names these people have." Izzy shook her head. "Dear Leshawna, why must you behave in such an offensive manner? Like such a blatant stereotype of our kind?"

"What the hell?" Leshawna yelled.

"You're an African American. We get it!" Izzy continued.

"American?" Leshawna asked, raising an eyebrow.

Izzy looked at the envelope. "It's an American fan. Should've figured."

"We're not all from that country," Leshawna said, shaking her head in the palm of her hand.

"Though some of us would like to be," Courtney said. "Can't become President of the United States if you weren't born there. What a stupid rule!"

"You could still become Prime Minister here," Beth said, smiling.

"The rest of the world doesn't give a damn about anything Canada does," Courtney stated flatly, then sighed.

"May I continue, please?" Izzy asked. "Thank you. Did you like read a book of stereotypes, and try to behave as closely to those stereotypes as possible, or what?"

"OK, that be offensive!" Leshawna shouted. "I act like me! And I'd like to think I'm still a good role model for other people like me!" Leshawna ducked down a bit. "At least last year… I'm guessing all the stuff I did to everything this year isn't really a good example, huh?"

"You learned from your mistakes, though," Beth said, smiling. "Isn't that setting a good example?"

"I guess," Leshawna said, uneasy. "Shouldn't have made those mistakes in the first place, though." Leshawna sighed. "I don't really like needing to represent my whole race." Leshawna turned to Gwen. "I mean, you done some bad things too, but no one's gonna' think you represent all the white people out there."

"I got better, I'd like to think," Gwen said, blushing.

"Well, yeah," Leshawna said, looking down. "Sorry for using you as an example like that, hon. It's just…" Leshawna trailed off, then shrugged. "At least DJ's put in a better word for us, I guess. Just wish we didn't have to represent our whole race in the first place like that."

"I never really thought about that," DJ said, looking a bit confused. "I represent what?"

Leshawna smiled. "Consider yourself lucky if you never had to think about all this." DJ shrugged, a bit confused.

"Let's take a look at one more," Izzy said, opening another envelope. "This one's from Autumn." Izzy tapped her chin in thought. "Apparently it's a common name. Who knew." Izzy shrugged. "Dear Leshawna, you are awesome, and a great role model! I like how you tell it like it is, how you stand up for your friends, and just how great a friend you are to everyone who isn't afraid of how loud you can get. But hey, that's just part of what makes you, well, you! Oh, and you and Duncan would look really cute together, I mean, in case Courtney and Duncan broke up. I could see you two together."

"Leshawna's too good for him," Courtney said, disgustedly pointing to Duncan.

"And you're apparently not, honey," Duncan said, smirking.

"Urgh!" Courtney strained her face and arms in frustration.

Leshawna chuckled a bit. "I wouldn't mind finding a nice guy, really. I had one and I threw him away." Leshawna sighed. "I'm sorry, Harold."

"I'm still open to the idea of a threesome," Harold said, grinning.

"Uh, no," Leshawna said, waving her hand dismissively to Harold.

"Ooh, that sounds good to me!" Pixie Corpse exclaimed. Harold looked a bit freaked out.

"Well, it's been fun having you as a guest, Leshawna, but we must move on," Izzy said. "Our next guest… um…" Izzy trailed off, then turned to Nicole and whispered. "Do you remember anything Tyler did?"

"Um… made out with Lindsay?" Nicole asked, shrugging. "I think he made out with Lindsay."

"OK," Izzy said. "Our next guest did stuff. Please welcome Tyler!" Leshawna and Madison moved to the top row of seats as Tyler ran onto the stage, tripping over a floorboard, landing face first into the floor.

"OK, I'm remember more of what Tyler did," Nicole said, smirking. "He fell a lot."

"I did more than that!" Tyler exclaimed, as he sat down beside Gwen on the lower seat. "I… kind of beat up Chris."

"Oh yeah, that was awesome!" Nicole exclaimed excitedly. "Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."

"Yeah," Izzy said, tapping her fingers, looking around the stage.

"Who is he?" Geoff asked blankly, pointing to Tyler, who hung his head in shame.

"Oh yes, that reminds me of a question!" Izzy exclaimed. "The juiciest question I can think of!" Izzy rested her head in her hands, propped up on the arm of the sofa. "What's the deal with you and Bridgette?"

"What?" Tyler asked, confused.

"You know, the whole 'I hate Bridgette' thing?" Izzy asked, looking a bit confused.

"I'm not really sure how someone could not like Bridgette," Nicole said, scratching her head.

"I'm sorry!" Sadie cried out. "It was a misunderstanding, I swear!"

"Um, OK," Nicole said, looking a bit freaked out.

"I don't hate Bridgette," Tyler said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I just don't see what the big deal about Bridgette is. That's all."

"That's all?" Geoff shouted, surprised. "She's like the awesome girl ever! She's _über_

hot, and really nice, and über hot, and a great kisser, and über hot, and… über hot!

"Do you even know what über means?" Harold asked, looking suspiciously at Geoff.

Geoff shrugged. "Not really, but it's good, right?"

"Well, yes," Harold said.

"Whoo hoo, then I'm stickin' with it!" Geoff exclaimed, pumping his fist.

"Well, I don't hate her," Tyler said, irritated. "I just don't really like her. Remember the fear factor challenge last year?"

"Phobia Factor," Izzy corrected. "We don't want to get sued here."

"Yeah, well, everyone was making fun of me because I was afraid of chickens," Tyler said, looking down. "I have feelings to, you know, and all of my teammates were making fun of me except for one person."

"Would've been nice if there were one person not making fun of me," Harold said, a bit irritated.

"No one cares, Harold," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.

"Anyway, thank you, Courtney," Tyler said, pointing her out, making Courtney blush a bit. "Everyone else was making fun of me, and you were the only one sticking up for me."

"I thought I yelled at you, actually," Courtney said, embarrassed. "I mean, I thought I was yelling at you for your own good, mind you, but--"

"But that's the difference," Tyler said. "You were trying to help me in your own annoying CIT way. Everyone else was just laughing at me."

Courtney tapped her chin. "I really don't remember, but um, thank you? Well, I mean, not for calling me annoying, but--"

"It's OK," Tyler said. "You've really helped Lindsay a lot, and I can't thank you enough for that."

"You're welcome?" Courtney asked, getting more confused.

Gwen cleared her throat. "I know I don't really practice what I preach, but maybe you should tell Bridgette what's bothering you."

"Girl would feel terrible if she were made aware of it, I'm sure," Leshawna said. "She ain't perfect, really."

"Closer than I could be," Courtney said wistfully, looking up to the ceiling.

"Hey, I'm with you, Tyler," Duncan said, rubbing Geoff's shoulders. "All Bridgette's done is turn this guy into a wuss."

"Hey, I'm my own man," Geoff proclaimed.

"And if Bridgette told you to throw out your lucky hat?" Duncan asked, raising half his eyebrow. Geoff casually threw his hat to the ground and started jumping up and down on it. "And if Bridgette told you to drink from the toilet?" Geoff was rushing off the stage.

"He **does **know that Bridgette wasn't asking him to do any of those things," Gwen said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well you're ever the optimist," Noah stated.

"I can't believe Bridgette got him to do that! Oh man!" Duncan exclaimed, laughing, slapping his knee.

"She didn't! You did!" Courtney yelled, throwing her arms into the air. "I swear, I don't know why I put up with you!" Duncan pulled her in for a passionate kiss lasting several seconds, after which Courtney was breathing heavy, smiling. "OK, I'm remembering now."

Geoff walked back in, into his seat, with another hat on his head. "I hope Bridgette doesn't want me to do that again."

"How many of those hats do you have?" Gwen asked, surprised.

"Tyler still has the floor, you guys," Izzy stated. "We don't want this place to become a mad house." Izzy tapped her chin. "Or actually, that sounds like fun! But after the show, OK? Back to the guy no one cares about!"

"I have fans," Tyler said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Izzy snapped her fingers, and Nicole brought out a bag of mail from behind the sofa. Izzy pulled out one of the envelopes, and read the letter inside. "This letter is from Kasey. Dear Tyler, why did you hog all the balls and lie to your team during the dodge ball challenge?"

"I had a plan," Tyler said, ducking down. "OK, I wanted to prove to everyone that I was really good at dodge ball."

"Worked like a charm," Noah stated, smirking.

"Didn't see you playing," Eva said, glaring at Noah.

"Didn't see you playing either, darling," Noah replied. Eva sat her head in her hands, muttering to herself.

"Look, I thought I could do it, and I was wrong," Tyler said. Does that really make me a horrible person?"

"An over-inflated ego, perhaps," Noah stated.

Izzy shrugged, then took out another letter. "This one's from Sierra. Dear Tyler, who are you? I'm, like, the biggest _Total Drama _fan ever! I love Cody, I love Courtney, I love Cody, I love Trent, I love Cody, and I love all of you guys, but I really don't want to have to pick a favorite. But if you forced me at gunpoint, to save my own life, or to save Cody's life, I'd have to choose Cody. But while I remember and loved twenty-one of you guys, for the life in me, I couldn't remember who you were. I mean, I saw your name on Wikipedia, and I thought it was a vandal at first, but then, the official site listed your name as well, and on this fan fiction site, you surprisingly had more stories about you than Sadie had about her, so I guess you must be real. Well, either that, or a fairly popular OC, but I like Anita more as far as OCs go, because I can totally relate to her crush. So I have to ask, are you real? What did you do that I might remember, because I keep racking my brain, and I just don't really… oh wait, were you that mannequin that Lindsay was making out with, because I so totally remember there was this mannequin in a red track suit that Lindsay was making out with for some reason, and I thought maybe she named it Taylor, but--"

"Stop it!" Tyler yelled, holding his hands to his head as if he had a headache. "How long is that?"

"Only a couple more pages," Izzy said. "But yeah. Anyway, Sierra, I can assure you that Tyler is, indeed, real." Izzy looked around suspiciously, then ate the letter, and then opened another envelope from the mail bag. "This one's from Lance. Dear Tyler, stay away from Gwen! She's mine, OK? You're such a poser with your guitar, too."

"I don't have a guitar," Tyler said, nervous.

"Lance has apparently been infected with whatever Lindsay's got," Gwen said, rolling her eyes.

"He sounds a bit creepy," Jacqueline said innocently. "I'll protect you from this guy."

"That's my job, actually," Pixie Corpse said, smiling. "You can help, I guess."

"I can help, too," Trent said, hopeful. Pixie Corpse and Jacqueline looked at each other, and started laughing hard.

"That's not very nice, you guys," Gwen said, glaring at the two.

"Sorry," Jacqueline said, wiping a tear from her eye. "It's just… for some reason, it's funny seeing Trent acting tough."

Gwen giggled slightly. "Maybe a little bit."

"Hey!" Trent shouted, then looked down.

"Well, let's move on," Izzy said, impatient. "Our next guest made Gwen's life a living hell, then wanted to make up for it all even though Leshawna started making her life a living hell--"

"Wait!" Courtney exclaimed, hurrying over to Leshawna with the present, handing it to Leshawna. "You should give this to her."

"You should give it to her," Leshawna said, embarrassed. "I mean, you paid for it."

"It was your idea," Courtney said, smiling.

"It was your idea too, though," Leshawna answered.

"OK, so we both thought of it, but it'll be more meaningful coming from you.

"What if we both give it to her?" Leshawna asked.

"I guess I can settle for that," Courtney said.

"Is anyone else lost?" Sadie asked, putting her finger to her chin.

"Does anyone else even care about this stupid argument?" Duncan asked, shrugging.

"Shut it, Duncan!" Courtney shouted, glaring at Duncan.

Nicole cleared her throat. "Since Izzy seems to have lost her train of thought--"

"Not my fault," Izzy said defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest and closing her eyes.

"Please welcome Heather!" Nicole exclaimed, as Heather walked onto the stage, smiling. Tyler moved up to Leshawna's seat, to the right of Leshawna and Madison, where Heather sat down.

"Leshawna and I have something special for you," Courtney said, beaming, as Leshawna handed Heather the present.

"Should I open it now?" Heather asked, excited.

"Yes! Yes!" Courtney exclaimed.

Heather excitedly tore into the present, and saw the cardboard brown box inside, and opened that cardboard box to find a fancier box, one she started beaming when she saw it. Heather opened that box and pulled out a new wig, looking just like her old hairstyle, which she excitedly put on. "How does it look!"

"Amazing!" Courtney exclaimed, hugging Heather. "I'm sorry you've never grown your real hair back."

Leshawna hugged Heather too. "I'm sorry I didn't have the money to pay for it myself. And, well, ruining your other wig in the first place."

"I'm not mad anymore," Heather said, crying. "I'm just… I'm beautiful again!"

"Even without your hair, you were the hottest girl here!" Geoff exclaimed.

"Dude, not cool, forgetting Bridgette like that," DJ said, worried.

"It's OK, Bridgette knows Heather's a hottie," Geoff said, winking. DJ slapped his own face in frustration.

"Geoff, you're an idiot," Heather stated flatly.

Geoff sniffed. "I thought she was nicer now."

"Well, she's kind of right," Gwen said.

"What if Bridgette asked you to get me a diamond bracelet," Madison asked, smirking, though Geoff was already gone. "Wow, he's fast."

"You might be taking advantage of him a little," Leshawna said.

"I'll let you keep it," Madison said, scanning Leshawna up and down. "You can use something nice."

"Uh, thanks," Leshawna said, a bit uneasy.

"I just wish I'd thought of something like that first," Duncan said, shrugging, though was slapped by Courtney when she returned to her seat.

"Seriously, this is so nice of you guys!" Heather said, admiring her new hair in a handheld mirror. "I love being beautiful again!"

"And we love you being beautiful again," Izzy stated as she was on her cell phone. "Yes, can I speak to--yes, it's Izzy again. Yes, that Izzy." Izzy slapped her face in frustration. "I don't care, just make it happen! There's a hundred thousand dollar donation in it for you if you make it happen, and I know you can use that money." Izzy rolled her eyes. "No, thank **you**." Izzy closed her cell phone and put it back in her skirt. "You'd think for a hundred grand, they could do better than 'we'll see what we can do."

"See what who can do?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's a surprise that I'm hoping I can get worked out," Izzy said, rubbing her face, frustrated.

"And what's the deal with that red-head, anyway? Rachel, was it?" Heather asked, smirking.

"How did… **she doesn't exist!**" Izzy yelled, holding her head in her hands as if she had a headache. "What was she doing out of her room? Where did you even hear that name from?"

"Lucky guess, mostly," Heather said, shrugging. "I heard DJ and Sadie asking about the name. I didn't really care much for her attitude."

"I promise I liked it less," Eva stated, angry. "Don't expect her to hurl insults at me again!"

Izzy shook her head. "Please tell me you did not kill her."

Eva sighed. "She was too fast."

"I'm going to need to have a talk with that girl," Izzy said, rubbing her forehead again. "But we're really here to talk about Heather, and ooh, new hair!" Izzy exclaimed, leaping over to Heather, rubbing her hair. "So pretty and shiny!" Izzy leapt back onto the sofa. "Anyway, Heather, I heard you sacrificed yourself."

"That isn't true," Heather stated.

"I heard you threw the acting challenge," Izzy said, grinning.

"I didn't throw it," Heather said. "I wanted to win, and I was really hoping to bring Lindsay with me to the final two." Heather turned to Gwen. "I didn't want to hurt Gwen, though. She was upset enough with me as it was, and I didn't want to throw the whole kissing Trent thing back in her face. So I decided to go with the time where Gwen and I were working together, actually getting along last season. But I did not want to lose."

"What if you made it into the final two with Lindsay?" Izzy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well," Heather started, turning her eyes away, "after what I did to Lindsay last year, I couldn't just take the victory away from her. Second place would've been nice."

"Now that's just dumb," Izzy said, shaking her head. "Deliberately throwing away a million dollars… I think someone siphoned out your brain when you turned all nice."

"I really don't need the money," Heather stated, irritated. "You're really becoming annoying, what with this, and the stupid Rachel thing, and--"

"Please, please!" Izzy exclaimed, worried. "I **promise **that I'll explain everything! **Later!** And I'm sorry for getting on your nerves. Izzy's just naturally good at irritating people, even when she's not really trying." Izzy jumped into Heather's lap, shocking her. "Izzy wants to apologize, and hope that you'll forgive her, because Izzy especially doesn't want her good friend Heather to stay mad at her."

Heather sighed. "Fine."

Izzy glomped Heather. "You've mad Izzy so happy, and trust Izzy, she's going to return the favor! In a few days!" Izzy pat Heather on the head, then jumped back into her seat on the sofa. "Really wish you guys would trust Izzy more. She's on your side!"

"And you're acting so suspiciously why, exactly?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's fun," Izzy teased, with a huge grin. "But I really, really need to keep things low key for now." Izzy took out a large wad of cash from her skirt. "When you're getting paid big bucks, you kind of have to follow the rules of the guy who's paying you those big bucks." Izzy put the cash back into her skirt.

"Why do you keep everything in your skirt?" DJ asked, looking disgusted. "That's nasty!"

"I think it's pretty sexy, eh?" Ezekiel asked, smiling, though was met with confused stares by everyone else. "Did I not say that right?"

"I thought it was beautiful," Izzy said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Breathtaking statement!" Izzy turned back to Heather. "But back to you, my dear. Does it feel weird to be close to Gwen and Leshawna, considering everything you've been through last year? And in Leshawna's case, this year, too?"

"A little," Heather admitted. "I mean, I didn't leave here last year thinking I really cared about making up with Gwen or Leshawna this year. It was over the course of the past year, where my life became a living hell, that I really started to appreciate just what I had done to Gwen. And even then, I wasn't really feeling bad about anything I did to Leshawna, since, unlike Gwen, she was quite capable of standing up to me." Heather shrugged. "I guess it felt more like I was bullying Gwen, but Leshawna and I were kind of just mean to each other."

"I just thought of it as protectin' a friend, really," Leshawna said, looking guilty. "And I'm obviously pretty bad at that."

"No," Heather said, smiling. "I mean, you went overboard with the diary thing, obviously, but you were good at helping Gwen for the most part. Just… less good with getting vengeance toward me."

"Yeah, we was both wrong," Leshawna said, shrugging. "You did get that septic stench out pretty quick, at least."

"Not like anyone would've wanted to hang around me, anyway," Heather said, shrugging.

"Not like you wanted anyone else hanging 'round you," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow.

"Good point," Heather said, raising a finger.

"So why'd you decide to forgive Leshawna, anyway?" Izzy asked, eagerly staring at Heather. "I mean, it didn't sound like you were planning to do that when you got here."

"I wasn't," Heather stated. "And I certainly wasn't expecting to after all the crap she did to me this season."

"I'm really sorry about that," Leshawna said, nervous.

"I know," Heather stated, smiling back at Leshawna. "And that's just it. You were really sorry, and even if you didn't like me, you realized I hadn't done anything wrong this season, and you gave me another chance. And I really appreciate that."

"What about Harold?" Izzy asked, grinning deviously. "You two gonna' fight over Harold?"

"You can fight over me if you want," Harold said, grinning.

Heather shook her head. "Such a perv."

"Yeah, but he's pretty sweet," Leshawna said.

"Yeah," Heather said, dreamily looking over to Harold. "He's a nice guy, really. I mean, except for that Lindsay hatred."

"That's been placed behind me," Harold stated. "And I'm a big enough person to get over what Autumn had done to me."

"Which, as I hear, was nothing," Heather said, smirking.

"Well, yes," Harold admitted.

"Mail time!" Izzy exclaimed, beaming as she removed an envelope from a bag she brought out from behind the sofa, then removed the letter from the envelope. "This one's from Rachel. Dear Heather, why do--" Izzy cut herself off as she continued reading the letter, then tore it to confetti and threw it into the air. "We don't need to read that one."

"OK, seriously, who **is **this mysterious person?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not important!" Izzy yelled, then took out another envelope. "This one's from Nicole. Dear--"

"We don't have to read that one!" Nicole shouted nervously, snatching the letter from Izzy. "It's… well, let's just say I didn't like you much last season. I swear, I honestly do like you now, though!" Nicole smiled nervously at Heather.

"It's OK," Heather said, waving her hand dismissively. "I know I was a pretty horrible person, and I know a lot of people hated me."

"I went a little too far in that letter, really," Nicole said nervously. "I wasn't really acting maturely. Let's just leave it at that." Nicole smiled innocently.

"O… K, I guess," Heather said, a bit uneasy.

"Look, I'm really sorry I wrote that stuff," Nicole said, smiling.

"Well, thank you," Heather said, smiling back. "I guess I don't have to know what it--"

"Thank you!" Nicole exclaimed, glomping Heather, but then quickly backing off. "I mean, sorry about the touching… don't want you to feel--"

"It's fine, really," Heather said, smiling still.

Nicole wiped her forehead in relief. "Thank you, really!" Nicole sat back down in her seat.

"I promise, people are going to start loving you when they see more of the new Heather," Izzy said, smiling. "I'm banking on it! But for now, it's time to meet our next guest. He got mauled by a bear, protected Gwen from a deadly dodge ball, and got caught up in a love triangle with Beth and Eva, please give it up for Cody!"

Heather moved up next to Leshawna, as Cody strutted onto the stage, looking confident as he sat down in the seat Heather was sitting a few seconds ago. "It's nice to be here, Izzy."

"Because I'm a pretty girl, I'm sure," Izzy said, smirking. "And Nicole's a pretty girl too, but you can't have her, I'm pretty sure."

"Cody's cute," Nicole said, smiling innocently.

"Cute, yeah," Cody said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's a compliment, silly!" Izzy exclaimed. "Besides, you've already got a nice girl, right?" Izzy tapped her chin in thought. "Or actually, I'm not sure how nice she is."

"Hey, I'm nice!" Eva defended, nervous.

Izzy tapped her fingers for a few seconds, looking toward Eva. "And you'll kill anyone who disagrees, you forgot to finish the joke."

"It wasn't a joke," Eva said, irritated. "Might kill you if you keep it up, though."

"There's the punch line!" Izzy exclaimed, pounding her chest. "That's what we were waiting for!"

"That wasn't a joke either," Eva stated, raising half her eyebrow.

"Now you're getting the hang of it!" Izzy exclaimed, jumping up and down while clapping.

"I don't think she was joking," DJ said, nervously looking toward Eva, who looked furious.

Almost instantly, Eva started laughing. "OK, glad someone's getting my sense of humor now!"

"Of course it would have to be Izzy," Noah stated, shaking his head.

"Cheer up, Noie!" Izzy exclaimed. "Izzy's got a great sense of humor! As long as we don't bring up you-know-who and Izzy's as happy as a cat in a microwave!"

"Don't call me Noie," Noah said, irritated.

"Cat in… but that's horrible!" Beth said, worried.

"It looks like so much fun, though!" Izzy exclaimed. "You get to spin for a while, while your insides are boiling, and then **kablooey!**" Izzy screamed, suddenly appearing in DJ's lap from nowhere, causing him to faint. Izzy shook her head as she rushed back to her seat. "Some people just don't have any sense of humor."

"Please tell me you've never actually stuck a cat in a microwave," Cody said, nervous.

"What, no, of course not!" Izzy exclaimed. "I mean, I don't believe in doing something like that without getting the cat's permission first, and so far, I haven't gotten any permission from any of them." Izzy shook her head. "Go figure."

"You scare me sometimes," Nicole said, shaking her head.

"Hey, I even scare me sometimes!" Izzy exclaimed. "Ooh, ooh! Like this one time, while I was in the hospital, I had to use the bathroom, so I dressed up like a burglar in a ski mask, and held up a baseball bat waiting for me to get out the bathroom, and oh, I can't tell you how scared I was when I was met with me! I was so scared that I peed in my pants!" Izzy tapped her chin. "Oh wait, I peed in my pants before I left the bathroom. The toilet was too disgusting to use." Izzy stuck out her tongue in disgust.

"The hospital toilet was… wait, aren't the nurses supposed to sterilize them or something?" Gwen asked, her eyes wide open.

"Well, yes, but they had like that icky sterilization stuff," Izzy said, shuddering. "Wouldn't want to breathe in those toxic fumes, and junk, so anyway, Cody, what's wrong with Beth?"

"What's… wait, what?" Cody asked, confused. "There's nothing wrong with Beth."

"But you chose Eva over Beth," Izzy said, lying on the sofa with her head in her hands, looking content. "Since you chose Eva, that means you thought there was something wrong with Beth. Is it the glasses? The side ponytail? C'mon, you can tell your ol' pal Izzy!"

"You know, I never did get the side pony," Leshawna said, laughing a little.

Heather looked a little uncomfortable. "They didn't air it, but I kind of made fun of that in one of the confessionals last season. I'd rather not go that route again."

"Wait, what's wrong with my ponytail?" Beth asked, looking hurt.

"You kind of have a ponytail too, you know," Madison said, smirking as she played with Leshawna's ponytail.

"Yeah, but mine's, well…" Leshawna trailed off, then sighed. "OK, I'm sorry I made fun of it, Beth. Izzy was just talkin', and it kind of came out."

"Aww, it's OK," Beth said, smiling bright.

"It had nothing to do with her ponytail," Cody said. "Besides, Eva's got a nice one herself." Cody winked to Eva, who blushed, then tried to hide her blushing. "Really, Beth was a sweet girl, but she had a crush, and even if her crush was one of the most awful people I've--"

"He's not so bad," Beth said, shrugging, at which everyone stared at her with mouths agape.

"Did… no one tell Beth?" Courtney asked, concerned.

"Actually, we told her in the very first _Total Drama Izzy _episode," Nicole stated, looking concerned.

Izzy shook her head. "Poor girl's in denial."

"No I'm not!" Beth shouted, a bit irritated. "I mean, yes, Justin's mean, but he's still a person, and look at how you've all been treating him!"

"He tried to kill me," Eva started in a threatening voice. "It's justified."

"He did?" Beth asked, blinking, then shrugged. "Still, he's a human being, and he just wants everyone to leave him alone! I mean, Owen sat on him, for goodness sake!"

"I'll need to bake Owen a cake," Noah stated, smirking.

"What? You guys forgave Heather!" Beth shouted.

"That's a little different," Gwen stated, irritated. "I mean, sure Heather was mean, but Justin did some… well, he did worse things."

"I remember all too well," Tyler stated in a scary gravelly voice, looking like he wanted to kill.

"O… K…" Beth said, trailing off, as she sat back down, looking guilty.

Cody looked uneasy. "Anyway, Beth was too smitten to notice me, so I tried to work up the courage to try Eva, who, let's face it, is a little scarier to talk to than Beth." Cody shrugged. "Turns out being close to certain doom gave me the courage to try. Funny how that works."

"I don't like being tied to live bombs!" Eva shouted.

"And the rest of us just live for the thrill, naturally," Noah stated, motioning his hand toward himself.

"Oh, I know!" Izzy exclaimed. "Once, I was tied to a bomb by this guy in a top hat who kept twirling his mustache and laughing maniacally, and I tried and tried to free myself, but it was no use, so I cut the red wire, since it's always the red wire, but that was the wrong wire, so the bomb exploded, and I died!"

"You did not die!" Courtney yelled.

"Why do you take her words so seriously again?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well… because!" Courtney shouted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Because is not an answer," Noah stated, shaking his head.

"Yes it is! Just… not a very good one, but it will suit my purposes nicely," Courtney stated triumphantly. Noah just shook his head.

Izzy waved her hand dismissively to Courtney. "I got better, obviously, but more importantly, we now know why Eva won Cody's little love game, and Beth walked away with the consolation prize, the disco stick."

"What is a disco stick, anyway?" Nicole asked. "I've been wondering that ever since that song… that… what's it called song."

"It's called 'Love Game!'" Sadie exclaimed. "That's like one of my favorite songs ever!"

"Thank you for ruining the joke," Izzy said, slapping her own face in frustration. "Please, next time I make a joke, don't everyone dissect it on me. 'Cause when you dissect something, it dies in the process. And believe me, I've tried to dissect things while keeping them alive, and it does not work." Izzy smiled again and turned back to Cody. "Let's play the hypothetical game, though. If, right now, Gwen asked you to go out with her, would you dump Eva and do it?"

Cody looked a bit uneasy before answering. "No."

"Yeah, 'cause he wouldn't want to mess with me!" Trent exclaimed.

Noah rolled his eyes. "Please, even Tyler could take you on."

"And you couldn't?" Eva asked, raising half her eyebrow.

"Please, as pathetic as Trent may be, I'm still aware that he could easily kill me," Noah stated.

"You really shouldn't tempt me," Trent said, irritated, looking back at Noah.

"Cut it out!" Sadie yelled, slapping Trent's face, who started to tear up, looking down at the ground. Sadie then glomped Noah. "You should be happy, though! Katie's gonna' win a million dollars, and then she'll have a lot of money to buy you nice…" Sadie trailed off, looking a bit confused. "Wait, isn't it supposed to be the guy buying things for the girl?"

"I'll make a note of it," Noah flatly stated.

"You mean you'll make a Notie of it!" Sadie exclaimed, glomping Noah again.

"Can't… breathe…" Noah let out, gasping for air.

Izzy sniffled, then wiped her eye. "It brings a tear to my eye." Izzy then turned to behind the her couch, as the earth started shaking as she pulled out a mail bag the size of a minivan. "You have a **lot **of fans, Cody. And even if I took out all of the letters from Sierra, Anita, and Leigh Anna--and by the way, Nicole, if I were you, I'd totally hit Anita, she is **smokin' **I promise you-- we'd still have a gazillion letters here." Izzy shifted her eyes. "And if you were to break up with Eva, I'd go out with either Anita or Leigh Anna. Sierra seems a bit… crazy, if you ask me. And coming from me, that ought to say something." Izzy nodded as she took out a letter. "This letter is from some guy named Quimby, I guess." Izzy shrugged. "MAD is planning to steal the world's entire supply of chocolate, and threaten to destroy it if not paid a ransom of a hundred billion dollars. Your mission is to find out how, and where, and put a stop to it. This message will self-destruct." Izzy crumpled up the letter, and threw it to Courtney, where it promptly exploded in her face.

"What the hell was that?" Courtney yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

"The letter self-destructed, duh," Izzy said, looking at Courtney as if she were stupid for not understanding the simple instructions.

"How is that even possible?" Courtney yelled.

"Dunno'," Izzy said, shrugging, then took out another letter. "This letter is from Brittany. Dear Cody, you're so cute, and I love you! I don't know what Gwen's problem is, since you're a million times better than Trent! If you're still single, I'd love to meet! Xoxo, Gos… I mean, Brittney."

"She sounds nice enough," Cody said, shrugging. "I mean, if I were single, I'd totally--"

"I don't trust this girl," Izzy said, staring at the letter. "She doesn't even seem to know how to spell her own name." Izzy crumpled up the piece of paper, and threw it over to Courtney, where it exploded in her face again."

"OK, this is getting old," Courtney said, angry.

"OK, I'm not sure why that one exploded, I'll admit," Izzy said, shrugging.

"It is kind of funny, though," Heather said, chuckling a bit.

"Who's side are you on?" Courtney asked, rubbing her forehead. "Remember who gave you that nice new wig! Those exploding letters really hurt."

"OK, I'm sorry," Heather said, looking guilty. "It was just… OK, I'm sorry." Heather smiled innocently to Courtney.

"Here's a letter from Kristina," Izzy said, reading another letter. "Dear Cody, you rock! I can't even fathom why Gwen didn't want you, but then that means there's more for me! I'm single, and if you're still single, I'd love to go out with you sometime! Sincerely, Kristina."

"Why did I not hear from any of these girls when I was still single?" Cody asked, then sighed.

"You got someone better, right?" Eva asked, smirking, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Oh, of course!" Cody exclaimed, smiling nervously. "Really, though, I like Eva a lot, and I don't really want someone else. And she'd probably kill me if I broke up with her, anyway."

"I would, too," Eva said, smirking.

Izzy sniffled again. "That's so sweet of you, Eva!" Izzy rushed over to glomp Eva. "You're such a beautiful person." Izzy wiped Eva's nose, leaving Eva disgusted as Izzy hurried back to her seat, facing Cody once more as she started reading from another letter. "This one's from Jessica. Dear Cody, I'm sorry Gwen didn't like you. I don't see what's so great about Trent, anyway! He's boring! All he does is obsess over Gwen, obsess over Gwen… seriously, doesn't the guy have any sort of personality outside of Gwen? Anyway, Trent's a loser, and I was disappointed that you tried to help him hook up with Gwen, since you and Gwen would make like the cutest couple ever! Well, I hope you can get a nice girl that'll make Gwen jealous, and maybe she'll realize what she missed out on! Love, Jessica."

Gwen looked over at Eva, then at Cody. "Yeah, I didn't really miss out on anything, and Trent's a great guy!" Gwen hugged Cody. "You're still a good friend, though."

"Thank you," Cody said, blushing.

"Is everyone going to make fun of me today?" Trent asked, exasperated.

"Welcome to my world," Courtney said, then sighed, with her head in her hand, propped up on her knee.

"Let's try one more," Izzy said, smiling. "This one's from Mandy. Dear Cody, you're too good for Gwen, and you need to rub that in her face. You deserve someone better and awesomer, like Noah! You and Noah had some real chemistry last season, with that sexy kiss that you and he were in denial about, but I could totally see the sparks between you two! I mean, Noah's obviously gay, and I believe you really did like Gwen, but I suspect her betrayal turned you gay, and you two totally belong together! Good luck with that! Sincerely, Mandy."

"Why does almost everyone want me and Cody to hook up, anyway?" Gwen asked, confused. "I just don't get it. I like Trent. Do these people not want to see me and Trent happy, or what?"

"Viewers like drama," Heather said, shrugging. "That's why I thought doing the 'kissing Trent' scene would've won Chris over more than the 'you and me working together' scene."

"Good point," Gwen said, smiling. "I really liked the 'us working together' scene, really."

"Drama is lots of fun, I promise you," Madison said, smiling innocently. "Mean, yes, but fun, definitely." Madison turned to Leshawna. "I hope you can help me stop that, really. It's kind of an addiction."

"I guess," Leshawna said, a bit uneasy. "You might need more help than me, though."

Madison sighed. "I really don't know where to start."

"I can help you look," Leshawna said, smiling.

"Sniffle," Izzy said. "So touching."

"Did you just say--never mind," Nicole said, shaking her head. "Our final guest of the evening has aided Heather in her evil plans to take over the world, cursed said Heather out after losing a bicycle race, and recently won about thirteen or so different challenges, give it up for Lindsay!" The audience applauded and cheered while Cody moved to sit between Tyler and Madison. All for nothing, though, since no one was coming out. "Um, Lindsay!" Nicole exclaimed, pointing toward the side of the stage, but still no one was coming out. "Is Lindsay there?"

"I'm here!" Lindsay exclaimed from backstage. "I'm just waiting!"

"You were… supposed to come out," Nicole stated.

"But you didn't say 'Lindsay, come out,' yet," Lindsay said, confused.

Nicole slapped her own face in frustration. "Do I really need to say those exact words?"

"Lindsay, come out!" Courtney yelled, as Lindsay walked on out. Courtney glared at Nicole. "Was it really that hard?"

Lindsay waved to everyone, then took a seat next to Tyler on the top row, hugged him, and kissed him, to his surprise. "Lindsay?" Izzy asked.

"Yes, I'm Lindsay!" Lindsay exclaimed, taking a short break from making out with Tyler. "I got that question right, I hope."

"You weren't supposed to sit there," Izzy said.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Lindsay exclaimed, then looked to Tyler. "Sorry Tyler, but Iris wants me to move." Lindsay skipped across the stage and squeezed herself next to Courtney, who looked a bit surprised.

"You… weren't supposed to sit there, either," Izzy said, shaking her head.

"Why not?" Lindsay asked, pouting. "I can't sit next to my boyfriend, I can't sit next to my BFFFL, I can't--"

"BFFFL?" Courtney asked, confused.

"Best female friend for life," Sadie said, smiling bright. "It's like so awesome that you have one too!"

"But we're not BFFFLs!" Courtney shouted, a bit frustrated, though Lindsay looked down, and looked like she was going to cry.

"I'm sorry," Lindsay said, as she walked across the stage and sat in the empty spot next to Gwen. "I thought we were."

"I didn't mean--look, I'm sorry, Lindsay," Courtney said, feeling uneasy. "But it wouldn't exactly be fair to Bridgette if I called you my BFLLF, would it?"

"BFFFL," Sadie said. "You can have more than one."

"Is that how it works?" Courtney asked, confused. "I don't know, it just feels… funny, this whole BBBFL thing."

Lindsay was sitting there crying still, while Gwen put her arm around Lindsay. "I realy don't think that Courtney meant--"

"Wait, what's wrong with me?" Lindsay asked, sounding a bit out of it, then sighed. "I'm being stupid again. Courtney and me are friends!"

"Well, yes," Gwen said, a bit confused.

"Thank you, Gwen!" Lindsay exclaimed, hugging Gwen, then turning back to Courtney. "Sorry I got all crying-ing. I really should remember that you're like a tiny adult."

"I'm not really tiny," Courtney said, getting more confused.

"I meant you're like a teenager, but you act more like a grown-up," Lindsay said. "And I'm a little stupid and forget that you don't think like the rest of us do." Lindsay sighed. "And I don't think like everyone else, either."

"You're not stupid," Courtney stated. "You won that disgusting puke gun challenge, you pulled off a classic impression of Leshawna, figured out the connection between Owen and someone whose name shall not be mentioned, solved a 'murder' mystery," Courtney said, using finger quotes, "figured an easy way to open the a chest, wrote a really sweet fictional story, rescued a lot of people from Boney Island, and helped take down a person who was trying to kill us all!" Courtney took a deep breath. "**You are not stupid!**"

"Why do you care so much about her, anyway?" Duncan asked, shrugging. "Does anyone really care that much one way or the other?"

"She's my friend!" Courtney yelled.

"Thank you!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming. "I knew you were nice deep down!" Lindsay wiped a tear from her eye. "You were so smart last season, like, way smarter than everyone else!"

"Forgetting somebody?" Noah asked, irritated, violently pointing to himself.

"You sure didn't act too smart last year," Lindsay said, smirking. "Courtney had all of these really good ideas, though, and no one would listen to her. It was kind of sad."

"I did have good ideas, didn't I?" Courtney proudly stated.

"I mean, you were kind of impatient, and angry, and loud, but you were only trying to help your team!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming.

"Well… thanks, I guess," Courtney said, not very enthusiastically.

Lindsay looked a bit guilty. "I'm sorry. I thought that was a compliment."

"It was nice. Ish," Courtney said, uneasy. "Look, it's OK. I know you meant it as a compliment, so I'll take it as one."

"Thank you," Lindsay said, smiling back at Courtney. "I guess not everyone's as nice as you, though, so I probably should learn how to avoid being mean by accident."

"Wait, is she seriously using **Courtney **as the gold standard for niceness here?" Noah asked, wide-eyed.

"I'm nice!" Courtney defended. "Or I'm trying to be nicer, at least, unlike **some **people," Courtney stated, glaring at Noah, then at Duncan.

"I never claimed I was nice, darling," Duncan said, smirking.

"Seriously, am I the only one who still finds the whole friendship between Lindsay and Courtney really really strange?" Nicole asked, blinking.

"No, but stranger things have happened," Gwen said, then turned to Heather and smiled, who smiled back.

"Can't argue that," Izzy said, then glomped Nicole. "Like who'd have ever thought me and Nicole would become BFFFLs last year?"

"No one, considering no one had any idea who she was last year," Noah stated.

"Exactly!" Izzy exclaimed, winking.

"Who's Nicole again?" Geoff asked, scratching his hat. Nicole sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, Lindsay, you seemed a bit concerned about what you were going to do after the show," Izzy said. "You have even more money than I have though, so I'm not sure why you' be worried about--"

"Daddy has more money than you'll ever have," Lindsay stated, not sounding happy. "Mommy wants to help me out, and she's like the nicest Mommy in the world, but I'm a shame to Daddy. Paula's the apple of his eye, and I'm the stupid little worthless sponge who's never going to be good for anything." Lindsay rolled her eyes. "What does he want me to do? Studying more doesn't do any good! No matter how hard and hard I keep trying to rememberize unimportant things, my brain just forgets them! Why do I have to rememberize stupid things like Christine Colander having a yard sale on blue items in nineteen forty-two anyway?"

Lindsay stood up and started pacing around the stage. "Christine is dead, everyone who knew her is dead, and from what I understand she even killed people! Who the hell does that, and why the hell are we supposed to celebrate her, anyway? Oh, I get it, we'll read fun little stories! Except no, we have to read the most boring stories in the world, and how am I supposed to remember everything that happened at the beginning of the boring story by the time I get to the end? **It's boring! **Math! That's important, I guess! That's why we have calculators! And I know how to use a calculator, believe it or not! What the hell is a deriviation, and other than rocket science people, why does anyone even need to know anything like that?" Lindsay pounded her chest. "**I'm stupid! **Nothing is going to change that, because my stupid brain won't let me remember anything it doesn't care about, and it doesn't care about any of this stupid crap that I'm never going to actually need in life, anyway!" Lindsay rolled her eyes. "I mean, Courtney, I'm sure even you don't really care about at least half of the stuff you're learning, and you're only bothering because you need to learn the stuff you don't care about because you can't be a lawyer person, a doctor person, or anything like that unless you learn about everything you don't care about as well!"

"Well, it's important for me to try my hardest in the toughest classes I can get into," Courtney stated. "As for how much I enjoy all of those classes, I really do like some of them… and no further comment."

"Heather!" Lindsay shouted, staring at her. "You're like a genius, and I know you know that you'll never care about half the stuff you're learning!"

"That's why I have trouble with math," Heather admitted. "I mean, really, who cares about calculus?"

"I care, I'll have you know!" Noah shouted.

"One person out of twenty-two isn't exactly a glowing statistic," Courtney said.

"Courtney, and Heather, and smart guy who likes Katie, you guys are going to do great, I know it!" Lindsay exclaimed, a lot more chipper than she was a few seconds ago. "I'm not, though, and I can't do anything about it. I can't do well in school, and pretty soon I won't even have a roof over my head." Lindsay sighed. "Daddy's kicking me out of the mansion when I turn eighteen. I'm just too stupid to have any idea what I'm supposed to do."

"You're not going to be homeless, Lindsay," a voice said from backstage.

"That voice sounds familiar," Lindsay said, looking confused. "Bridgette, is that you?"

"No, dummy, it's your sister!" the voice shouted.

"Paula!" Lindsay exclaimed, and rushed over to glomp her less-glamourous brunette sister as she came out onto the stage. "I'm really sorry about telling everyone about the diarrhea you had on your date last year."

"Don't mention it," Paula said, trying to smile. "Seriously, don't mention it."

"You came all this way just to visit me?" Lindsay asked. "I mean, the show's almost over."

"Izzy asked us some questions, and she asked me to come here. Even wanted to pay for it, even though I could've paid myself," Paula said, shrugging. "But she did want me to say that you're not going to be homeless. You can stay with me."

Lindsay looked confused. "I don't think Daddy's going to just let me stay in your room."

Paula sighed. "No, dummy, I'm moving out, and you can live with me."

Lindsay slowly nodded as she was taking it all in, then suddenly had a huge smile on her face. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Paula said, smiling. "I don't know what we can find for you to do, but I promise it won't be fast food again."

"Thank you," Lindsay said, crying as she hugged her sister again. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I might be able to help," Courtney said, smiling. "Paula, can you tell me of any particularly prestigious universities around where you're living?"

"You can go to the one I'm going to," Paula said, smiling. "It's pretty expensive, though, so unless you can get some scholarships--"

"I don't think that'll be a problem," Courtney stated, smirking.

Paula looked suspiciously at Courtney. "I could swear you were this vicious, cruel girl last season."

"That was me, I think," Heather said, looking embarrassed.

"Well, yeah, but her too," Paula said, a bit confused. "Mom seemed really worried about Lindsay hanging around you."

"She's really nice, I promise!" Lindsay exclaimed, hugging Paula more. "And I know I've been wrong before, but I know I'm not wrong this time! Courtney's like the nicest person since… well, you, Paula."

Paula smiled. "I'll get you papers, Miss Courtney."

"Thank you," Courtney said. "I promise **when **they accept me, that I shall be of service to aid Lindsay."

Lindsay was crying. "I love you guys."

"Next question," Izzy said, looking serious. "Why did you sacrifice yourself for Katie and Bridgette in the most recent challenge?"

"I hated that stupid thing!" Lindsay shouted, angry. "It was really, really mean of Chris to do that! Katie didn't do anything wrong, and he was trying to cheat to get her kicked off!"

"But you almost got Bridgette kicked off," Izzy said, concerned.

"Um, hello, were you not paying attention?" Lindsay shouted.

"I… kind of just got back, actually," Izzy said. "I didn't see the tapes yet."

"Oh," Lindsay said, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. Anyway, I didn't almost get Bridgette kicked off. I knew she was safe, because I noticed I had two of the free sprints." Lindsay tapped her chin. "I'm guessing I got one of them while I was reconverting from the blowfish." Trend shuddered upon mention of the blowfish. "But I realized I might be able to save both Katie and Bridgette from getting unfairly voted off, and I had to do it. I couldn't stand seeing Chris do that to poor Katie, or Bridgette, really." Lindsay smiled bright.

"You know, however many times I call you a dummy, know that you're a lot smarter than people give you credit for," Paula said, hugging her sister again, who continued smiling.

Izzy wiped a tear from her eye. "I love sweet moments like that, I love doing this show, and I'm sure you all love mail time!" Izzy opened a letter and started reading. "This one's from Chris. Dear Lindsay, let me know when you turn eighteen, 'cause I'd…" Izzy trailed off as she took a look at the envelope. "Chris Maclaine. Figures." Izzy tucked the letter into her skirt. "I'm going to shove this up his ass later."

"Seriously, that host creeps me out," Paula said, shuddering.

"He creeps me out, too!" Pixie Corpse exclaimed. "Which is like totally weird, since things that creep out most people usually fascinate me, but just something about Chris…." Pixie Corpse suddered.

"This letter is from Peter. Dear Lindsay, why do you act stupid all the time? Why don't you just be smarter? I mean, really, just be smarter and people would stop thinking you were stupid, so you kind of deserve to be called stupid."

Lindsay was rubbing her forehead in pain. "Gee, I never thought of that! Just be smarter! Now I can live a carefree happy life since this Paul guy told me the secret of smartitude!" Lindsay screamed toward the ceiling. "Sorry about that, guys, I'm just tired of this."

"Remember sis, no matter what anyone says, you're still way smarter than Owen," Paula said.

"Where is Omar, anyway?" Lindsay asked, tapping her chin.

"He's not farting in here, and that's all I care about, really," Paula said, shrugging.

"Here's a letter from Ray," Izzy said. "Dear Lindsay, I think you would look really hot dressed in some sort of military garb. Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness… has a nice ring to it, I think."

"Oh, I totally love that idea!" Lindsay exclaimed, beaming. "I could be a four-star army hotel!"

"I don't think the military is for you," Paula said, shaking her head.

Lindsay looked down. "Oh."

Izzy shrugged as she read another letter. "This one's from Winston."

"Winston," Noah stated, raising an eyebrow. "You're kidding me. Are you sure you didn't just make up these names?"

"No, these are all legit," Izzy said, scratching her head. "That really is kind of weird, though." Izzy shrugged. "Dear Lindsay, I think you'd better look out for Heather. I think she's taking advantage of you. Like when she used you to build her bike in the race, and she didn't care that Chris was kicking you off the show… well, I have a weird suspicion that Heather doesn't really care about you."

"And I thought I was dumb," Lindsay said, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, I kind of figured it out by that point, but thank you, Wesley." Lindsay shook her head.

"See? You're not stupid!" Paula exclaimed.

"Because one person out of six billon being less…" Madison trailed off, looking guilty. "I'm sorry, I was about to say something less than nice again." Madison sighed. "Wish I could stop doing that. You're a nice kid, Lindsay."

"Thank you," Lindsay said, smiling. "You had a rough life?"

"Considering I come from lots of money, you'd be surprised," Madison said, with her head propped up by her hand, propped up on her knee. "Actually, scratch that. I guess you probably wouldn't be surprised, considering your current situation." Madison sighed. "Wish I had a nice big sister like that." Madison turned to Leshawna and smirked. "Still have this big sister, though."

"I hope you not teasin' me about my weight now," Leshawna said, raising an eyebrow.

"I liked the pun," Madison said, looking guilty. "I'm sorry if that was bad… it's hard being nice. Not really familiar with the whole nice thing."

"It's OK," Leshawna said, smiling. "I'm just a little over sensitive about my weight, but yeah, we'll learn ya' some niceness." The two girls hugged again, with Madison tearing up.

Izzy pulled out another letter and started reading. "This one's from--"

"Don't tell me," Noah said, covering his eyes with one hand while waving to Izzy with the other. "Does his name start with an E, by any chance?"

"Yes, sort of," Izzy said, "but I don't think it's a 'he.'" Izzy scratched her head. "Unless it's a guy named Elizabeth. Which I guess is possible. I mean, if they have guys named Leslie, and Carol, and Leanne, and--"

"Leanne?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow. "Seriously."

"Trust me, they exist," Izzy said, shaking her head. "But still, this letter is from Elizabeth. Dear Lindsay, you are awesome. Me and my dog, Dweeb--what a horrible insulting name she gave her dog, if you ask me--watch you every week, and, well, on the surface, you seem like a stereotypical dumb blonde, but please don't take that as an insult!"

"Somehow, that doesn't make it non-insultish," Lindsay said, shaking her head

Izzy continued reading. "I mean, you do some kind of stupid things sometimes, but there seems to be more to you than that. Like a short moment of insight you had with Courtney, mentioning that she would've been voted off eventually even if Harold hadn't rigged the votes, since no one really liked her much. Well, I mean except Duncan, obviously, and Bridgette. Seemed funny how Courtney and Bridgette got along even when Bridgette kept messing things up for Courtney, but I'm losing track of my letter here. You were awesome, and I'm sorry for what Heather did to you. I'd kill her for you if I could… ha ha, just kidding! But really, good luck in life, and any other silly cliché you can think of! Sincerely, Elizabeth Cox." Izzy was scratching hr head. "Wait… why have I heard this name before?"

"Didn't she like kill someone?" Lindsay said, nervous.

"It could be a different Elizabeth Cox," Paula said. "There could be hundreds, maybe thousands of--"

"Whelp, turns out this letter was sent from prison," Izzy said, looking at the envelope. "Guess they let criminals watch TV, which is so totally nice, in case they ever catch me one of these days! It's too bad, really. Sounded so nice in the letter."

"Anyone can sound nice in a letter," Paula said.

"Yet most of these people still don't sound very nice," Izzy said, looking disgusted. "Maybe prison teaches manners?" Izzy shrugged as she took out another envelope and opened it. "Time for one more letter! This one's from Kelly. Dear Lindsay, you're one of my favorite contestants on the show! I think you and Trent would be cute together, though!"

"Did she forget Tyler's name?" Lindsay asked, confused. "I mean, I know I've confused Tyler's name with Tory Trenton's name before, so maybe she did too?"

Izzy continued reading. "I know Trent is Gwen's boyfriend, and I don't want you to break them up or anything, but if they ever did break up, I think you should go after Trent!"

"What about Tyler, though?" Lindsay asked, scratching her head. "I really like Tyler."

"You're too good for Tyler! Seriously, lying about how good he was at dodge ball? Such a ball hog! Trent's so sweet and caring, though."

Lindsay sighed. "I really like Tyler, and even though Trent's totally hot and a perfect boyfriend, I'm not going to dump Tyler."

"Yeah!" Tyler exclaimed, pumping his fist. "Take that, Trent!"

"Um, why?" Gwen asked raising an eyebrow. "Trent didn't do anything."

"Tyler's just an idiot," Pixie Corpse said, giggling. Tyler hung his head in shame.

Izzy's cell phone started ringing, and she picked it up and answered. "Yes? Really? That's great! I'll be ready in a few minutes! OK, bye bye!" Izzy hung up the phone and put it back in her skirt."

"You probably should have put it on vibrate," Nicole said. "I mean, we are taping a show here."

"I keep the phone in my skirt," Izzy stated, shaking her head. "Vibrate is a bad, bad--"

"Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww!" Lindsay cried out. "TMI! TMI!"

"I have to agree with Lindsay," Courtney said, looking disgusted. "I could have lived without that image being planted in my mind."

"And that's all the time we have for today!" Izzy exclaimed, waving to the camera. "Tune in to the very final episode of _Total Drama Egomaniac, _where it will be the epic battle to end all epic battles: Katie versus Bridgette! One will leave this island with a million dollars! The other will get nothing! Who will win? Who will lose? Find out on the next episode of _Total Drama Whatever!" _Izzy looked around for a few seconds, staring. "Well, show's over, so you can all leave," Izzy said, smiling.

"Yay!" Pixie Corpse excclaimed. "I really wanted to get to know you better, Heather. I've just heard so much great about you that makes me no longer want to slit your throat!"

"I've heard both good and frightening things about you, too," Heather said, smiling.

"Descirbes me perfectly!" Pixie Corpse exclaimed, as she walked off the stage with Gwen and Heather, and everyone else started to leave as well. Izzy and Nicole stayed behind while the audience and everyone on stage left, while Owen walked right in.

"I'm back you guys, so let's get this party started!" Owen exclaimed, pumping his fists.

"Show's over; time for you to leave," Izzy said, shoving Owen out of the room.

"Aww, come on!" Owen said, disappointed. "I thought you guys were going to wait for me to finish in the bathroom!"

"Wait, he was actually in the bathroom this entire time?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow, then shrugged. "Doubt anyone'll care, really."

* * *

Whew! Longest chapter ever! By a lot, too. You all know what's coming up now, though!


	53. Day 25, Part 1: Pink Streaks Speed By

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 53: Day 25: Part 1: Pink Streaks Speed By**

Chris stood on the Dock of Shame, making grand gestures as he spoke with his huge plastic smile. "Last time on _Total Drama-"_

"Not You!" Izzy exclaimed, peeking her head from underneath the dock.

"Great," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "**You're **back."

"Oh, don't worry," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "I can't stay long, because I've found my E!"

"Found your E," Chris said, unmoved. "I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."

"You will," Izzy said, narrowing her eyes. "Oh, you will! And then you will rue the day you've mistreated us. **Rue the day! Rue! RUE!**" Izzy let go of the dock and fell into the lake below.

Chris looked confused, then shrugged. "That doesn't even make any sense. I'm not afraid of any… letters." Chris tapped his chin. "Except M, but man, that Munching Mouth guy was just creepy." Chris shuddered. "I mean, not that I know what that is, being that I'm not into baby stuff, like, at all. Still, not a fan of the letter M." Chris straightened himself out before continuing. "Last time, on _Total Drama __**Chris**__, _Bridgette, Lindsay, and Katie had to compete in a series of mini-challenges. The first one to fail at a challenge would be kicked off the island. And even though the challenges got harder and harder as they stayed in the game, somehow, despite my best efforts, they succeeded in each and every one of them."

Chris casually took out a blue envelope, waving it in front of his face. "This blue envelope was my little trump card. I was going to use it to automatically kick Katie off the island if no one fell by the thirteenth round, because, seriously, I didn't have all night, and besides, Katie totally deserves to lose." Chris sighed. "Except Lindsay gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. She was going to give Katie her free spin, allowing Katie to pass that so-called 'challenge' to the next person. To me, it sounded like Lindsay, being the idiot she is, forgot the rules, and would wind up accidentally kicking Bridgette off the island, and frankly, while she's not the pure evil entity that Katie is, she annoys me, too, and I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to have Lindsay's stupidity kick Bridgette off the island. Man, it would've been so funny, ha ha!"

Chris face turned angry, and he tore up the blue envelope, throwing blue confetti into the water. "When the hell did Lindsay become a diabolical mastermind? Seriously? And why the hell didn't Chef tell me he gave Lindsay a second free spin? He really deserves to be fired over that stupid little blunder!" Chris was breathing heavily. "Seriously, I had a really cool idea to get Katie eliminated, which turned into what would've been a huge controversy with viewers that got Bridgette eliminated to… an incredibly stupid self-sacrifice! Where's the ratings in that? And how could Chef not tell me something as vitally important as that second free spin?" Chris was conking his forehead with his fist. "So. Stupid. Lame!"

Chris sighed, as he faced the camera once more, smiling big. "But now, it is our final episode. We have two unworthy competitors left, both eyeing up that cool million. On the side of good-comparatively, at least-is the somewhat unattractive blonde bimbo Bridgette, who, I'd like to remind everyone, was supposed to have left us in the very first episode. How she's survived all the way to the end when she was hated enough to be voted off before everybody else, I don't really get." Chris' face turned sour. "And on the side of evil, of course, is Katie. And as unattractive as Bridgette may be, Katie's just plain hideous beyond reason. Least Bridgette doesn't make me want to tear my eyes out." Chris shuddered. "And of course, Katie was **also **supposed to be kicked off, back in the hot box challenge, and was only saved because she and Izzy totally conspired to cheat via those horrible, horrible loopholes that were intended for me and me alone to exploit! Argh!" Chris started tapping his chin. "Didn't Katie hate Bridgette early on, anyway? Whatever happened to that? I don't really get why they'd be friends with each other anyway, since neither one's very likable."

Chris started making more grand gestures and smiling bigger. "I'm sure most of you viewers would've liked to have seen an epic battle between Gwen and Courtney, going at each others throats, or Duncan and Beth, just to watch your favorite contestant absolutely demolish one of your least favorite ones in a ridiculously unfair match-up, but unfortunately, we are stuck with Bridgette and Katie." Chris sighed. "I guess Bridgette has a decent number of fans, at least, so I guess we'll get some people tuning in, at least. I know I've heard about some zombie-obsessed guy who likes her a lot, as well as Ezekiel, for some reason."

"I'm getting off topic, though," Chris stated, smiling into the camera. "For you guys, coming up, an epic battle, Bridgette versus Katie, good versus evil, annoying hippie girl versus annoying… annoying girl, coming up now, on _Total! Drama! Chris!"_

* * *

"This is it!" Katie said, balancing on the surfboard Leshawna had made. "I'm surfing! I'm surfing! Sadie would be so proud of me!"

Bridgette giggled. "Well, the waves aren't really too hard here, but yeah, you are getting the hang of it more."

"I'll need to get Sadie to do this with me sometime!" Katie exclaimed, then stared dreamily to the sky. "And Noah." Katie blew a kiss to the sky, then fell off the board, splashing into the lake.

"Might want to sit down if you're going to do that," Bridgette said, smiling.

Katie shrugged while floating in the water. "A little water never hurt anyone."

"Slipping?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow. "Drowning?"

"You like it, though," Katie said, grinning. "You like this killer liquid!"

"That 'killer liquid' likes me, too," Bridgette said, using finger quotes. "I'm able to become one with the water. I'm like a fish. Or a dolphin."

"Dolphins are so cute!" Katie exclaimed, holding her hands together.

"So, today's the big day," Bridgette said, a bit nervous. "You ready for it?"

"I was born ready!" Katie exclaimed, then growled into the air.

"Can I ask what that was?" Bridgette asked

"I dunno'," Katie said, shrugging. "Just felt right."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I really don't think I'll ever quite be at your level.  
Bridgette: I don't know. My cousin Emma got a lot better pretty quickly.  
Katie: And is she at your level?  
Bridgette: Well, no, but that's not important. It's fun, right?  
Katie: Yeah.  
Bridgette: So you're not going to be as awesome as I am. (Bridgette points to herself proudly.) Not everyone can be.  
Katie: Is that Chris' ego rubbing off on you?  
(Bridgette smiles innocently.)

* * *

"This will be the quiche to end all quiche," Zoe said, smiling as she brought out breakfast to Bridgette and Katie in the dining hall. "No meat in yours, of course, Bridgette. You'll still like it, I think. Now eat up, since you'll want your strength for today's challenge."

"What is it?" Bridgette asked, then took a bite of her quiche. "This really is good!"

"I'm sworn to secrecy," Zoe said, raising her right hand. "I don't really know why. It's not that interesting, if you ask me, but at the same time, telling you beforehand doesn't really seem worth getting into an argument with Chris, either. Not in this case, anyway. Pretty boring challenge, if you ask me."

"What would you have done?" Katie asked, digging into her quiche quickly.

"I'll tell you two later," Zoe said. "You know, I'll miss you guys next season."

"You were pretty cool," Katie said, smiling. "I mean, aside from the whole food poisoning thing-"

"Not my fault," Zoe said, then sighed.

Katie giggled. "I know. Still fun to tease ya'!" Katie looked to Bridgette and smiled. "Remember last year, how you switched from supporting Gwen to supporting-"

"Really rather forget that," Bridgette said, rubbing her forehead. "That was wrong."

"Because I had a fun thought," Katie said, grinning. "Hope it isn't too mean, but I'm also kinda' hoping... well..."

"Do tell," Bridgette replied, smiling a bit herself.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: I can't believe I actually made it this far! I mean, sure, I was hoping I might, but I can't believe I made it, especially after I nearly got voted out on the very first day. (Bridgette wipes her forehead.) Geoff, I really miss you, and I know you sacrificed yourself to give me this chance, and I hope I can make it pay off. Literally. (Bridgette giggles a bit.)

Katie: (casually looking at her nails) I knew I could make it this far. I mean, I figured some sort of bad luck would happen again, like it did last year when me and Sadie got lost, which was **totally **not our fault, by the way, I mean, everyone else just abandoned us for some reason! Seriously, what was up with that? They were just as inattentive as we were, if you ask me.

Bridgette: And of course, Courtney, who's been a really good friend since last year, and, for the record, yes, I know you were a bit rough last year, but you were a good person. Leshawna, you know I forgive you, girl! Gwen, I know you were angry when I saw you the last time, but I still consider us to be friends, and I hope you do, too. (Bridgette sighs.)

Katie: Anyway, Noah, I really-wait, no, no! (Katie started waving her hand to the camera while covering her face with the other.) Sadie, I need to say hi to Sadie first! BFFFLs! (Katie hugs the air in front of the camera.) I've known you for years, and years, and like more years, Sadie, and you totally deserve to get the first bit of recognition for how special you are, and one of these days, you're going to find a guy who thinks you're hot, 'cause seriously, you are girl! (Katie giggles a bit.) Just a teensy bit less than me.

Bridgette: Eva, you're a great friend, and I hope more people can start seeing that. I mean, yes, you're a little scary, or a lot scary, but there's a great friend in there. Just try not to threaten their lives first. Ezekiel, you're a nice guy, and you just need to get used to this crazy world we live in. I'm sure you must be having lots of fun with Izzy! Lindsay, you've got a great mind. Not sure how it works, but it does, so don't stop with that great way of thinking you've got there. Cody, treat Eva well. Even though I'm sure she'll make sure you regret if you don't. And Katie, of course. You've really been a good friend. I mean, not that I ever disliked you, but yeah, I did kind of think you were a little bit annoying last year, and I'm sorry I didn't realize back then that there was more to you and Sadie than just that. Good luck, Katie!

Katie: Noah, you're awesome, too! I can't compare you to Sadie, since it's not really fair to my lifelong friend, but you're a great guy, even if you are stubborn, and whiny, and a bit of a know-it-all. (Katie grins deviously.) But you're **my **know-it-all, Noie! (Katie winks.) And of course, Bridgette, you're my BFFFL runner-up, in case Sadie should, for any reason, be unable to fulfill the position. Yeah, I was stupid earlier this season, with the whole stealing Trent thing, and you're like the nicest person ever for giving me another chance after that! And I can't believe I'm saying it, but Courtney, you've got a heart somewhere in there. Thank you for finally getting over the apple thing, and lightening up a bit.

* * *

Chris led Bridgette and Katie to a pair of bleachers around the middle of camp, painted blue on the left, and pink on the right. "Pretty soon, these bleachers will be filled with the twenty losers. You remember them, right?"

"Our friends, yes, I do believe we do remember them," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"And you're going to ask them to choose sides, I take it," Bridgette stated.

"Well, yeah," Chris said, a bit confused. "I'm… not really sure how you knew that, but-"

"You did it last year," Bridgette said.

"And now, presenting your favorite losers!" Chris exclaimed, as Sadie came running through, glomping Katie.

"Eeeiii!" Sadie exclaimed, squeezing Katie tight.

"Eeeiii!" Katie squeed back, hugging her friend.

"You can breathe?" Bridgette asked, surprised.

"Oh yes, yes, yes, I'm used to this!" Katie exclaimed, as the two went into another squeeing fit.

"Wait, where was everyone else?" Chris asked, blinking in confusion.

"Oh, they're coming!" Sadie exclaimed. "I just kind of raced ahead of everyone else, since I was so excited to see Katie! Eeeiii!"

"Eeeiii!" Katie squeed again, still hugging Sadie.

"You're both annoying," Chris said, rolling his eyes.

"They're nice," Bridgette said.

"Not nice to my ears," Chris complained, angrily pointing to his ears.

"Let's get this party started!" Geoff exclaimed, rushing up to hug and kiss Bridgette. "You wouldn't believe how fast Sadie is."

"Me neither," Chris said, rubbing his chin in thought. "I didn't know fat people could run fast if their lives depended on it." The four contestants glared at Chris.

Sadie turned to Katie with a vicious grin. "Beat him for me!"

"Will do!" Katie exclaimed, saluting her friend.

Bridgette and Geoff were kissing, though Geoff pushed away. "We can't do this now, Bridge. You're still totally hot and stuff, but you need to concentrate on the game, babe. I'll be here for makin' out right after you win though!"

"Geoff," Bridgette said, smiling as she gave him a light hug, "you're so thoughtful."

"Geoff can think?" Chris asked, scratching his head.

"Oh shut up!" Bridgette snapped at Chris, then turned back to Geoff.

"You'll do great, babe!" Geoff exclaimed.

"Yes, she will," Courtney stated, as she was at the front of a large group of seventeen teenagers.

"It's about time you losers got here," Chris said, irritated.

"Oh hush," Courtney said, irritated. "Geoff was just really excited to see Bridgette and rushed ahead of us, and Sadie is unbelievably fast when she's excited."

"Yeah, but Katie's really fast even when she's not excited," Sadie said, blushing. "I could've never outrun an electrically charged killer dodge ball intent on my complete annihilation!"

"Aww, that's so sweet of you!" Katie said, hugging her friend again.

"That's really getting old, you know," Chris said, irritated.

Noah casually walked over to Katie, with a bored look on his face. "Katie," he stated.

"Noah," Katie stated, smirking, then glomped him, startling him.

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Sadie exclaimed, putting her hands together.

"So why did Sadie get here so much faster than you, anyway?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow. "Seeing little cute me wasn't enough motivation to run to me?"

"No," Noah stated. "I don't run."

"You should try a little," Katie said, poking Noah's legs. "You do like to show off your nice legs after all."

"It's the summer," Noah stated. "It's hot. The shorts are breezier."

"And I'm sure the sweater vest is great in this weather, too," Katie said, smirking.

"It's stylish," Noah stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

"If you're a dork," Katie teased, sticking out her tongue.

"It's my style," Noah stated.

Katie glomped Noah and kissed him. "Yes it is."

"OK, enough with the introductions," Chris said, irritated. "Now, as you guys can see, we have a set of blue bleachers on the left, and a set of pink bleachers on the right."

"Did someone have a baby?" Lindsay asked, smiling. "Do Bridgette and Katie have to guess if it was a boy or a girl?"

"No," Chris said, irritated. "Bridgette wears a lot of blue, and Katie wears a lot of pink."

"Oh," Lindsay said, not getting it. "Does that mean Bridgette's a boy?" Noah and Cody started laughing. "OK, I totally don't get it," Lindsay said, scratching her bandanna.

"I don't want to get it," Gwen stated, irritated.

"Heather!" Katie exclaimed, beaming. "Your hair's beautiful!"

"Oh yeah," Bridgette said, smiling. "It does look nice."

"Thank you," Heather said, blushing. "Courtney and Leshawna got it for me."

"Yes, it's nice to see that you're the second prettiest one here once again," Chris stated. "But regardless of how hot you and Lindsay are, I'd really like to get back to me, thank you. These bleachers you see before you represent life!" Chris exclaimed in a serious voice, then lightened his tone. "And more importantly, who you want to see win. If you want Bridgette to win, please sit in the blue bleachers. If you'd like Katie to win, please sit in the pink bleachers." Geoff, Eva, Courtney, and Lindsay lined up on the bottom row of the blue set of bleachers, Leshawna, Heather, Gwen, and Trent lined up in the middle row, and Harold, Owen, Justin, and Beth lined up on the top row of the blue bleachers. Over on the pink side, Noah, Sadie, and DJ sat in the middle row, while Cody, Tyler, and Duncan sat on the top.

"Ha! You're on the wrong side, Owen, probably," Chris exclaimed, pointing at him.

"This isn't Bridgette's side?" Owen asked, confused. "I thought you said the blue side was Bridgette's."

"But… but it's blue," Chris said, blinking in confusion. "How do you even know what blue is?"

"Let me guess," Noah stated flatly. "You're surprised that Owen found the blue set of bleachers because you're thinking back to when he said he was colorblind. And you're apparently not intelligent enough to realize that most colorblind people do not see the world in black and white, and most of them have no trouble recognizing the color blue."

"Yeah, wait, what?" Chris asked, confused.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (with his arms crossed over his chest) Colorblind my ass! Seriously, why do they call it colorblind if they can still see color?

* * *

"Duncan, get over here!" Courtney shouted from across the bleachers, irritated.

Duncan was leaning back, relaxing. "Nah. I want Katie to win."

"Do you even like Katie?" Courtney shouted, flustered.

"I don't dislike her," Duncan said, shrugging.

"Urgh!" Courtney yelled, stomping her foot.

"It's OK, Courtney," Bridgette said, a bit concerned. "Not everyone's going to like me. Back at school, there was a kid named Bryce who didn't really like me much."

"Jem's friend?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Jem?" Courtney asked, now confused herself.

"I think she means Jewel, but no, a different Bryce," Bridgette said, shrugging. "It's fine, though. Not everyone's going to like everyone else." Bridgette looked over to Katie's bleachers. "I was more surprised that DJ went over to Katie's side, really. I thought he didn't like Katie. Did he like me even less?"

"Oh, I don't think it has anything to do with you," Gwen said, grinning, as she pointed over to the bleachers once more, where Sadie gave DJ a quick little kiss.

Bridgette giggled. "Guess he's going to have to make up with Katie sooner or later. Now's as good a time as any."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: I am **so **having a talk with Duncan for choosing the wrong contestant to support in the finale! I mean, look, it's not that I dislike Katie, but Bridgette's like my best friend. (Courtney looks down nervously.) Or one of two best… you know, I'm a bit relieved that I didn't have to wind up choosing between Bridgette and Lindsay, really.

DJ: I know I was hard on Katie before, but she was really buggin' me, you know? Still, Sadie's a sweet girl, and I know they're BFFFL's, so for Sadie's sake, I really need to try to get along better with Katie.

Bridgette: You know, it's kind of funny how many people we know who all have the same name. How many Bryces, Jewels, and Bridgettes are there, anyway?

* * *

Chris yawned. "You know, I'm sure this is going to be a snoozer, but Bridgette, what do you plan to do with your million dollars, should you win it?"

"I really don't know," Bridgette said. "Not entirely, at least. I'd love to give it to a great animal's rights group, since I worry that they need help, and a certain big name group which shall remain nameless I have concerns about." Bridgette started smiling more. "I also worry about the environment, worried about the pollution that oil is putting into the air now, and worried about whether or not global warming is real."

"It's real," Gwen stated.

"It's false," Courtney stated. "It's all about-"

"Look, you guys, I didn't mean to start a debate," Bridgette said. "I don't know how much truth there is to it, but I do know that I don't really like taking unnecessary risks, and besides, even if it isn't real, do we really want dirty air, anyway? I'd like to help put an end to it."

"A million dollars isn't going to be enough to stop it, you know," Chris said, rolling his eyes.

"I know," Bridgette said, smiling, with her hands in her pockets. "Every little bit helps, though."

"Cough, lame, cough," Chris stated, shaking his head. "So pitiful that I couldn't even put forth any effort into the fake coughing bit." Chris sighed and looked to the sky. "OK Katie, being evil and all, I'm sure you have something more interesting than that, at least. What do you plan to do with your million dollars?"

"I plan to have a rockin' yacht party, and everyone's invited, oh, but only the people who are supporting me!" Katie exclaimed, grinning wide.

"I'm game," Justin said, shrugging, as he was about to walk over to Katie's side, but Beth angrily tugged at his arm, pulling him back "Ow, what was that about?" Everyone else waited for a while, but no one budged.

"I'm proud of you guys," Bridgette said, smirking. "Gwen, I just wanted to say that I'm really, really-"

"You already apologized," Gwen said, smiling.

"We just wanted to test you guys, anyway," Katie said, grinning. "I'm not really throwing my money away on a yacht party, but I wanted to make sure we were being supported for the right reasons."

"Wait, there was a yacht party?" Owen exclaimed, going wide-eyed.

"Um… were you paying attention?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"I was hungry," Owen said, twiddling his fingers. "Which one of you is having the yacht party, though, so I can switch sides in case it wasn't you, Bridgette?" Bridgette sighed.

"OK, so what stupid thing are you throwing your money away on?" Chris asked, irritated.

"I really don't know," Katie said, rubbing her shoe against the ground. "I mean, I'm totally getting a pink Volkswagen-"

"Wait, why a Volkswagen?" Duncan asked, surprised. "You can afford any of the coolest cars in the world, and you'd want a stupid, girly Volkswagen?"

"I am a girl, you know," Katie said, raising an eyebrow.

Chris shrugged. "Could've fooled me. Don't most girls your age have breasts?"

"She has them, you idiot," Noah stated, angry. "They're beautiful, thank you very much." Everyone stared curiously at Noah, who, after a few seconds, went wide-eyed, then immediately took out a book and buried his head inside.

"Please leave Noah alone, you guys," Katie said, smiling. "We all heard it, and I think we should be nice and just pretend we didn't hear it."

"Done," Chris said, looking disgusted.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: And people call me a pedophile! Look at Noah, the horn dog! (Chris shakes his head.) Such a shame.

Chef: (looking over papers) Is Chris even aware that Katie's a few months older than Noah?

Sadie: Oh, you have **got **to tell me the details!  
Katie: I will, Sadie, I promise. When we get back home.  
Sadie: But isn't this the confessional? Everything you say in here-  
Katie: Is aired for the whole world to see.  
Sadie: Oh yeah, sorry. I can wait to get back home.  
Katie: I'll tell you **everything!  
**Sadie: (gasps) You mean you two did-  
Katie: What, no! I wouldn't do that here, I'm a good girl! (Katie taps her chin.) Good-ish.  
Sadie: I was about to correct you there.  
Katie: (smiling innocently) You know, I happened to notice that you and DJ were a little chummy.  
Sadie: He's not chubby, he's muscular. (Sadie swoons.) So powerful and muscu-  
Katie: I said chummy, you know.  
Sadie: Oh, sorry. (Sadie nervously taps her fingers together.) Kinda' used to all the kids calling me-  
Katie: I know, there's no reason to rehash it now, though.  
Sadie: (hugging Katie) You are like the best BFFFL ever!  
Katie: I know, and you're like the best BFFFL ever's BFFFL!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

* * *

Chris looked to Katie and Bridgette. "You two know what you have to do, right?"

"Not really, Bridgette said, rubbing her arm. "You didn't really tell us what the challenge was."

"Huh?" Chris asked, blinking. "Oh yeah, that. Well, it's a race! Each of you will come to eight checkpoints, at which point you'll have to choose between challenge A or challenge B. Each challenge is based on one of the twenty-four challenges you've already fought through, and mostly failed at."

"Failed at?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow. "We're still here, you know."

"By pure luck," Chris said, irritated. "Your team lost nine of the first twelve challenges, as I recall."

"And then won eleven in a row... wait," Katie said, counting on her fingers. "We only had twenty-three challenges. There was no twenty-fourth one, I mean, not counting this one, but we didn't exactly fight through this one yet."

"I think Katie's right," Bridgette said, starting to count to herself.

"You two are idiots, you know that," Chris stated, irritated.

"They're right," Courtney stated, irritated herself. "There were only twenty-three challenges, up until this one."

"There were twenty-four," Gwen said, irritated. "One of them was only for the people who'd already lost, though, so yeah, you two only played twenty-three of them.."

"Wasn't really a fair challenge either," Heather said, crossing her arms over her chest, then turned to Gwen. "I'm still not sure whether it was beneficial for you or not that you won."

Gwen shrugged. "I'm really not sure, either. I wasn't exactly in a great state of mind, but I'd still have liked to win the million dollars."

"That would've been nice, really," Heather stated, smiling.

"Twenty-three, twenty-four, no one really cares!" Chris yelled, stomping his foot. "Point is, you'll do a mini-version of sixteen of the challenges in this race." Chris handed a map to Bridgette, and another to Katie. "These maps will tell you where the eight checkpoints are. You must go to each one, in order, then head for the next one after the task your assigned is complete. After the eighth one is completed, you must head back to the finish line which… isn't here yet." Chris slapped his face in frustration. "Chef! Where's the finish line?" Chris looked around nervously. "Chef? OK, seriously, where are you?"

"So I guess you'll have to put up the finish line, then," Katie said, smirking.

"I hate you," Chris said, shaking his head. "I really hate you." Chris sighed, then turned to the contestants in the bleachers. "Just like last year, you twenty guys can help out and or cheat in any way you wish to help your preferred contestant win."

"He really can't count," Gwen stated, smirking. "Izzy's not here."

"Oh, yes, that," Chris stated, irritated. "Her stupid little rendezvous with the letter E. Of course." Chris shook his head. "She is insane, you guys know. At least I won't have to put up with her for much longer."

"The producers like her," Heather said, smirking. "I'm doubting you have the power to fire her."

"The producers love me!" Chris exclaimed, pointing to himself. "I'm the main reason people watch, and when I say 'jump,' they say 'how high'!" Chris' cell phone started to ring, and he gulped before nervously taking it out of his pocket to answer it. "Hell-" Chris was blown back a bit from the screaming coming out of the phone, and took a few seconds to regain his composure. "How high?" Chris was again blown back by the angry screaming, and then climbed to the top of Katie's bleachers and jumped off. "OK, happy?" Chris held the phone away from him before the yelling started again. "Yes, correct as usual. Goodbye." Chris hung up the phone, and then shuddered, then walked back to in front of the bleachers.

"We can tell how much the producers like you," Gwen said, chuckling.

"That was just a bill collector, hate those guys," Chris said, then shuddered again. "Anyway, go." Bridgette and Katie looked at each other, a bit confused. "Did you hear me?" Chris asked, annoyed. "Go! Go! Sheesh!" Bridgette and Katie ran off in the distance, and Chris turned back to the nineteen losers.

"You could make it clearer when you want the contestants to begin, you know," Courtney stated flatly.

"I don't tell you how to do your job," Chris said, narrowing his eyes.

"Actually, you do," Courtney stated.

"This whole contestant thing doesn't count as a job, so ha!" Chris exclaimed smugly, then pulled out a few maps, and tossed them to the ground. "If you want to help out your friends for some reason, here's some maps for you guys to-" Chris was cut off as a couple of pink blurs shot past him, nabbing some maps, and spinning Chris around. "What was that?" Chris shouted.

"Geoff and Sadie, it looks like," Noah stated, looking a bit surprised. "Surprisingly speedy, apparently."

"Are you going to just leave those on the ground?" Gwen asked, annoyed.

"Yes, yes I am," Chris said, grinning. "I like them there. Don't tell me you're turning into Bridgette too, now."

"I like the planet," Gwen stated. "There's nothing wrong with not wanting it destroyed."

"Look, I'm not Ted Turner. I don't care!" Chris shouted.

"We can show him up later," Heather said. "Right now we want to help Bridgette win, right?"

"No sabotage," Gwen stated.

Heather started tapping her fingers nervously. "Even for purposes of a greater good?"

"You were really thinkin' it, weren't you?" Leshawna asked, surprised.

"I thought maybe you guys might approve if it was for a good cause, really," Heather said, nervous.

Gwen sighed. "Fair enough, but I really wouldn't be comfortable sabotaging Katie, so let's not do that."

"It bothers me a little that you had to ask," Leshawna said, shaking her head.

"The nice thing's still a little new, OK?" Heather said, rolling her eyes. "I thought helping Bridgette was nice."

"Well, your heart was in the right place," Leshawna said. "Still, really, bad idea."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (holding a handsaw behind her back) In Heather's defense, I kind of thought the sabotage idea was good, too.

* * *

"Eeeiii!" Sadie squeed, glomping Katie from behind, knocking them both to the ground.

"Sadie, I need to hurry," Katie said, concerned. "You know, the race?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Sadie said, embarrassed, picking herself and Katie up from the ground. "Run, Katie, run!"

"That was such a great movie, wasn't it?" Katie said, wiping a tear from her eye. "So beautiful. Why did Jenny have to-"

"I didn't make the reference on purpose, just run!" Sadie shouted, worried. "I want you to win too, you know."

"Oh, right, sorry," Katie said, embarrassed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: You and me, such an awesome team!  
Katie: The best team! But it almost feels unfair, since Bridgette doesn't have a BFFFL like you.  
Sadie: Aren't like she and Courtney BFFFLs?  
Katie: (tapping her chin) You know, I actually have no idea.

* * *

Bridgette made her way to the top of the thousand-foot cliff, where Chef was waiting beside a wooden sign with a large '1' painted on it. "Made it!" Bridgette exclaimed, a little short of breath. "So what's the first challenge?"

Chef was reading awkwardly from a card he was holding. "You… must choice… no, choose. You must choose A or B for… you… challenge."

"Well, I kind of like B," Bridgette said, smiling. "B for Bridgette. I'll go with B."

"Good choice," Chef said, nodding. "Your task is to dig a grave and put a coffin into it."

"What coffin?" Bridgette asked, looking around.

Chef looked around as well, and scratched his head, then took the '1' sign out of the ground. "Just bury this."

"Do I get a shovel?" Bridgette asked, rubbing her forehead.

"One somewhere 'round here," Chef said, irritated. "I don't know where it is, just… somewhere." Bridgette sighed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: Really, no sabotage?  
Lindsay: Didn't you and Katie make up?  
Courtney: Well, yes, but still, Bridgette's like… well, she deserves to win.  
Lindsay: I know. But it wouldn't be that bad if Katie won.  
Courtney: (crossing her arms over her chest) Bridgette deserves to win.  
Lindsay: I think Bridgette would be happy if Katie won.

* * *

"We're here!" Katie exclaimed, as she and Sadie made it to the top of the thousand-foot cliff. "I think… wasn't there supposed to be a sign?"

"You're here, and you get challenge A!" Chef barked, then took out a card. "You have to leap off the thousand foot cliff, and maybe survive."

Katie looked confused. "Didn't the original challenge involve collecting balls with-"

"No ball talk out of you!" Chef barked, as he threw Katie off the cliff. "Go!" Katie screamed as she fell toward the lake.

"Katie!" Sadie cried out, and leapt after her. "I'm coming for you!" Chef looked down and shook his head.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chef: Fat girl didn't have to jump. Think she's gone insane. War can do that to a person, though. I've seen it myself. (Chef shook his head.) Poor, poor Groucho. Man was a great leader. And then he thought he was a duck.

Katie: You know you didn't have to jump.  
Sadie: (embarrassed) I wasn't really thinking.  
Katie: It was sweet, though.  
Sadie: Aww, you're so nice!  
Katie: I know!  
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!

* * *

"Bridge!" Geoff exclaimed, running up to Bridgette, who was on the top of the cliff, looking for a shovel. "Are you playing hide-and-seek or something?"

"She's looking for a shovel," Chef said, standing nearby, then picked up the sign with the '1' painted on it. "Needs to bury this ASAP-where did boy dumb blond go?"

"That's… I don't know?" Bridgette asked, looking around, confused. "And could you please not call him dumb?"

"Here, babe!" Geoff exclaimed, running up toward Bridgette, then digging like mad. "Saw it on my way up here. There!" Geoff stood back, admiring his grave digging skills. "Now hurry up and throw that bad baby in there so you can get on and win this thing!"

"Thank you, Geoff!" Bridgette exclaimed, hugging Geoff.

"Not now," Geoff said, frowning. "I mean, I'd love to, but you really have to hurry to win that million dollars!" Geoff exclaimed.

"Oh, right. Right!" Bridgette exclaimed, snapping herself out of her lovey-dovey trance.

"I'm not gonna' make you lose this one, Bridge!" Geoff exclaimed, as the two started running off, in search of the second checkpoint.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Outhouse**

Sadie: It's so sweet how Geoff's helping out Bridgette.  
Katie: And so sweet of him to remember that it's a bad time to make out with her.  
Sadie: And so sweet of Bridgette not to be stealing Trent from-  
Katie: That didn't happen.  
Sadie: (waving her hand dismissively) I know she couldn't steal Trent from me or you, because Trent liked Gwen, and not us. But I meant that she couldn't take Trent away from Gwen.  
Katie: She was so saving his life, you know.  
Sadie: (tapping her chin in thought) Oh, yeah. I'm a little stupid. I do wish Noah were here helping you win, though, since Bridgette has her boyfriend, and all.  
Katie: (sighing, resting her head in her arms) Yeah….

* * *

"We are all agreed on this, right?" Heather asked to Gwen and Leshawna, not far from the bleachers.

"I still feel a little bad about it," Gwen said, looking guilty. "I mean, Geoff's a nice guy, and he means well…."

"He's also going to make Bridgette lose this thing," Leshawna said. "We all know white boy's gonna' be makin' out with her, and she's gonna' lose focus on winning."

"Correct," Heather stated. "If Geoff's tagging along, Bridgette will not win, and I know you two are good friends with Bridgette, and really, she does deserve to win."

"And it's a whole lot better than sabotaging Katie," Leshawna said, smiling, crossing her arms over her chest. "Really, I don't get why you thought of that before you thought of just helping Bridgette out."

Heather shrugged. "Old habits die hard sometimes, but at least I can admit that I can be wrong sometimes."

"So we're taking out Geoff," Gwen said, smirking, as she, Leshawna, and Heather put her hands together, and lifted them.

"Bridgette's going to thank us for this later," Heather said, smiling bright, as she hugged Gwen and Leshawna.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (arms crossed over her chest, turned away from Duncan) Bridgette's my friend!  
Duncan: And she's not mine, deal with it!  
Courtney: You have stupid reasons for not liking Bridgette, anyway!  
Duncan: And you have stupid reasons for not like Katie.  
Courtney: (flustered) I-I like Katie!  
Duncan: (smirking) Sure, you do.  
Courtney: I already forgave her for the stupid apple thing!  
Duncan: (smirking still) Sure, you did.  
Courtney: Cut that out!  
Duncan: And what if I don't?  
Courtney: Urgh!  
Duncan: Three, two, one-  
(Courtney glomps Duncan, knocking them both to the floor, below the camera.)  
Courtney: You're still an ogre.  
Duncan: And you're still making out with an ogre.

* * *

"You're so smartical!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling bright, standing at a sign marked with a '2,' along with Courtney and Emily.

"Is smartical a word?" Emily asked, putting her finger to her chin in thought.

"No, but that's not important," Courtney stated, looking serious. "Chris did not actually say that Bridgette had to complete each challenge. If Lindsay or I is particularly adept at a particular challenge, we can complete it for her. And if not, we can get a head start on getting to the third checkpoint, where we may find a challenge there tailored to our talents."

Emily started chuckling. "Lindsay sure does have talent. You do too, though!"

Courtney slapped her face in frustration. "OK, seriously, would you let me in on the joke? I have a sense of humor!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: That's really weird. I don't ever remember Makoto talking about talent like that. (Lindsay hangs her head in shame.) You'd think I'd remember, as much as I used to watch _Sailor Moon._

Courtney: (glaring angrily) Noah and Cody are so dead when I see them again.

Harold: Why did you want me in here?  
Heather: (caressing Harold's neck) You've been wanting a little love, but I've seen Geoff and Bridgette enough to know that not everyone really likes seeing that sort of thing shoved in their faces. I'd still quite enjoy a makeout session, though.  
Harold: (Harold takes Heather's hand and kisses it.) M'lady.  
Heather: (blushing) It would be an honor, m'lord. (Heather grabs Harold and kisses him, clinging tight.)

* * *

"So who will win?" Chris asked, trying to put up one of the finish line poles. "Will it be boring Bridgette or Chaotic Katie? Who will win one million dollars?" Chris fell backwards, with the pole falling on top of him. "Will anyone help poor me put up this stupid finish line? Find out, coming up on _Total Drama Chris." _Chris tried lifting the pole off of him, but he dropped it onto his body again. "Ow… seriously, can't one of you help me here?"

"I think you could use the workout," Eva said, smirking.

"Really guys, I'm stuck!" Chris whined.


	54. Day 25, Part 2: Winner Chicken Dinner

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 54: Day 25: Part 2: Winner Winner Chicken Dinner**

"Why are you clothes wet?" Courtney asked, contorting her face as Katie and Sadie made their way to the '2' sign, with Lindsay and Emily waiting as well.

"I had to jump off the thousand-foot cliff," Katie stated flatly.

"And you jumped in your clothes?" Courtney asked, confused. "You're dripping-"

"Look, Chef didn't give me a choice, OK?" Katie said, irritated.

"Well, why is she wet?" Courtney asked, pointing to Sadie.

"That I don't know," Katie said, confused. "But we're ready for our next challenge, Emily!" Katie looks over and sees the hot box nearby, and looks a bit nervous.

"Goody!" Emily exclaimed, clapping her hands together, as she took two envelopes from behind her back. "Lord Chris will be so pleased! You get to choose challenge A or challenge B!"

"You're kind of scaring me, but let's go with A," Katie said, shrugging.

"Ooh," Emily said, looking impressed as she read the envelope's contents. "You get to hunt down yellow balls!"

"I don't remember a challenge like that," Katie said, scratching her head. "But if it doesn't involve that hot box, I can't complain."

"And we'll let Geoff sweat inside the hot box," Courtney said nervously, as she ran off, dragging Lindsay behind.

"I think I could do really good at staying-" Lindsay started, running behind Courtney.

"Our services will be of better use elsewhere," Courtney said, with a confident smile as she headed toward the third checkpoint.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: I know it's really hot, but just sitting there doing nothing… I really think I could've done that.  
Courtney: Our services could be put to better use elsewhere, Lindsay. You're of more use than to just have sit there doing nothing.  
Lindsay: I know, but it doesn't mean any of the other challenges are going to be able to be useful-ish for me.

* * *

"Please, no," Bridgette said, looking over at the hot box. "Please don't make me get in there again!"

"Don't worry, Bridgette," Emily said assuringly. "Only one of the two challenges will put you in there. The other one will have you hunting down yellow balls, like Katie's doing right now."

"Like-" Bridgette started, then stopped herself, and looked to Emily in fear. "Oh no."

"What?" Emily asked, confused. "Maybe envelope B has the yellow ball challenge, too?" Emily opened the envelope, then sighed. "No, I'm sorry, Bridgette. Three minutes in the souped-up hot box."

"I can do this, Bridge," Geoff said, looking sincerely to Bridgette, who smiled a bit. "You run on and get to your next challenge. I'll meet you at the fourth one." Geoff scratched his head. "At least I think the fourth… this is two, right?"

"Yes," Bridgette said, nervously rubbing her sandal against the ground. "Are you sure, Geoff? I mean, it's going to get pretty hot in there."

"No problemo, babe!" Geoff exclaimed. "I've been baked before. Nothin' I can't handle!"

"Oh, you're so sweet!" Bridgette exclaimed, glomping Geoff and kissing him for a while. Meanwhile, Heather, Gwen, and Leshawna were watching from not very far away.

"It looks like he's gonna' go in the hot box for her," Leshawna said. "Maybe we should leave them alone?"

"And they were making out again," Heather stated. "They're losing precious time, and he's going to slow her down with that."

"When Bridgette has her million, she'll thank us," Gwen said. "I mean, not that I want her to give me her money, but-"

"We know what you meant, girl," Leshawna said. "I'm just a little worried about this. I've already done the whole 'wrong thing, right reasons' thing this season, and it ain't a fun road to go down. I'm just worried this is gonna' be one of those things."

"This is different," Gwen said, looking serious. "We know Geoff can't help himself from making out with Bridgette. And we know that Bridgette gets seriously distracted when Geoff's around to make out with."

"Or we could always just sabotage-"

"No sabotage!" Gwen and Leshawna shouted simultaneously.

Heather smiled nervously. "OK, just wanted to make sure, 'cause I still don't really get why it's considered mean in this situation."

"It just is," Gwen said, shaking her head. "I know the whole nice thing doesn't come entirely naturally to you, so just trust us, please." Leshawna nodded in agreement.

"OK," Heather said, looking guilty.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Tyler: (with his arms crossed over his chest) "He won't be flying high tonight"? Seriously? Bridgette can be just as much of a jerk as Duncan, but at least everyone knows he can be a jerk! (Tyler chuckles to himself.) I mean, except for some of his fan girls, at least.

* * *

"What was a light fixture doing in the forest, anyway?" Katie asked, as she carried forth a broken light fixture with a couple of yellow balls in it, then raised an eyebrow, looking to Heather, Gwen, and Leshawna, standing near the hot box. "And what are you three doing, anyway?"

"If you three are trying to sabotage my BFFFL-" Sadie started, clenching a fist.

"I wanted to, but I was vetoed," Heather said, smiling innocently.

"I thought you were, like, not evil now," Katie said, raising an eyebrow again.

"I didn't think that supporting Bridgette was wrong," Heather said, waving a hand dismissively to Katie. "But we thought a better way would… actually, is this thing soundproof?"

"Why don't you want Bridgette to know of your plan?" Katie asked suspiciously.

"Oh, Bridgette's not in there," Gwen said. "Geoff's doing it for her."

"Oh… oh!" Katie exclaimed nervously, as she took Sadie's hand and started running off. "She's getting a head start on the third challenge, Sadie! We need to keep up pace here!"

"I didn't actually-" Emily started, then backed down. "Well, I saw the yellow balls. Good job I guess, Katie?"

Gwen scratched her head, then turned back to the other two girls. "Geoff isn't exactly weak, you know. He can probably overpower us."

"You two skinny girls, maybe," Leshawna said, smirking. "I think I can handle him!"

"This isn't soundproof, you guys know," Geoff said from inside the box.

Heather rolled her eyes. "I told you two!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Gwen: Really, you'd think a big, metal box would've been soundproof. Who exactly designs these things so weirdly, anyway?

* * *

"Time's up!" Emily cheered, as she opened the hot box.

"I'm ready for you guys!" Geoff weakly exclaimed, and then collapsed to the ground.

Heather smirked. "Geoff, that was really good of you, to take one in the arm for Bridgette like that."

"No one's giving the Geoffster any shots!" Geoff complained, still lying on the ground. "Unless it's for Bridgette."

"It's not," Heather stated, rolling her eyes. "But what I meant was that it was quite noble of you to put yourself in the hotbox in Bridgette's place."

"Ch'yeah," Geoff said. "She's, like, been tortured enough in that thing, and… I didn't realize they got so hot so fast."

"It's specially designed," Emily said, raising a finger.

"But look at you, you poor thing," Heather said, kneeling down, rubbing Geoff.

"Now, I know you're super hot, but I'm not going to let you seduce me," Geoff said defiantly.

"Oh," Heather said, looking guilty. "I wasn't trying-never mind." Heather shook her head. "I just, well, you're really hot and-"

"I know I'm hot, but I already have a babe," Geoff said, suspicious.

"I didn't mean that kind of hot," Heather said, rubbing her forehead in frustration.

"She means you need to rest," Gwen said. "You'll slow Bridgette down if you don't rest."

"Oh," Geoff said, looking like a sad little puppy. "I wouldn't want to make Bridge lose."

"Then let her go on her own," Gwen said. "Let her fly free."

"I guess," Geoff said, looking disappointed. "For Bridgette."

"It'll all work out, trust us," Leshawna said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: (worried) I hope.

* * *

"Yeah, we're kind of hoping for Bridgette to get that challenge," Courtney said, motioning over to a nearby Ms. Pac-Man machine. Lindsay and Billy were nearby, as well as a sign marked with a large '3.'

"I do really good at it," Lindsay said, smiling bright.

"Didn't the actual challenge involve a real-life version of that, though?" Billy asked, confused.

Courtney shrugged. "Chris was probably just lazy."

"All right!" Bridgette exclaimed, rushing up. "I'm ready for my task! I'll take envelope B!"

"Envelope B?" Billy asked, blinking. "But how did you know that… never mind." Billy opened the envelope marked with the B, and read the contents. "You must get past the first five levels in Ms. Pac-Man."

"What?" Bridgette exclaimed, looking around nervously. "I can't do that!"

"But I can!" Lindsay exclaimed, pounding her chest proudly. "I can do it!"

"I'm sure she can," Courtney stated. "It's just a matter of learning the AI for each of the colored monsters, then solving how to manipulate that AI to get the Pac-Person to safely consume all of the white pixels scattered throughout the maze."

"Um… yeah," Lindsay said, confused. "That's probably what I do."

Lindsay started up the machine, and had the Ms. Pac-Man start to eat the dots, as Bridgette turned to Courtney. "I guess I should head for the next checkpoint? Or should I wait for Geoff?"

"It would be beneficial for you not to waste time," Courtney said, smiling back at her friend. "Geoff can meet up at the fourth checkpoint. Lindsay, you meet us at the fifth one after you beat the-wait, did your Pac-Person just consume that blue monster? I thought those things killed your character."

"I can eat the dark blue ones," Lindsay said, mostly focused entirely on the game. "I'll be fine. Meet you at the fourth checkpoint."

"Fifth one," Courtney said, worried.

"Right," Lindsay said, a bit confused. "What did I say?"

"Fourth."

"Right," Lindsay said, giving a quick nod, then returning her intense focus to the game.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (reading her map upside-down) Which one is fourth, again?

* * *

"We made it, Sadie!" Katie exclaimed, as she and Sadie reached Billy at the third checkpoint.

"You're doing great!" Sadie exclaimed.

"I know!" Katie exclaimed, and the two girls squeed and glomped each other.

"Are you two interested in your challenge?" Billy asked, covering his ears as he was holding the A envelope.

"Oh, sorry," Katie said, smiling innocently, then looked over to Lindsay playing the Ms. Pac-Man machine. "Does this have anything to do with Lindsay?"

"No," Billy said. "It has to do with the impersonate another contestant challenge, except this time, you have to impersonate Chris." Billy pulled Chris' outfit from behind his back. "Change into this, then act like Chris."

"Change where?" Katie asked, contorting her face.

"Change here, I don't care, really," Billy said, shrugging.

"Turn around," Katie said nervously. "I really don't want you to watch."

"I'm pretty sure it'll fit over what you're wearing now."

"The shoes won't fit over mine," Katie said, in all seriousness.

"Does it really matter if I see your feet?" Billy asked, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, I can see most of your feet with the shoes you're already wearing."

"Just humor me," Katie said, a bit irritated. Billy shrugged, then turned around.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Why did Billy have to make things so difficult? Seriously, was it that big a deal? Just turn around! Sheesh!  
Sadie: I know! It's like he wanted to see a teenage girl undressing, or something.  
Katie: I wasn't exactly undressing.  
Sadie: Yeah, but… still, it's the same concept.  
Katie: Not really. It was just making me uncomfortable, anyway.  
Sadie: Oh. Well, he still should've just turned around.  
Katie: (sighing) Boys.

* * *

"Welcome to _Total Drama Me!" _Katie exclaimed in an artificially deep voice, wearing Chris' shirt, pants, and shoes. "Today, watch me and some other people, but who cares about them? All you care about is watching me! Chris Maclaine! Because I'm the only interesting person on this show! And I'm way better than that loser Katie! Growl! I hate Katie for absolutely no reason!"

"Stop being so mean," Sadie said, crying a little.

"This isn't real-" Katie started, but stopped herself short, and deepened her voice once more. "I mean, Katie sucks, because… well, I don't know. She just does, and I'm the host, so what I say counts! So watch me, and watch me do boring things, and watch me be really mean to Katie, coming up on _Total Drama… Chris." _Katie cringed uttering the name of the show.

"You did well," Billy said, clapping. "That was pretty funny. I like your sense of humor. And I don't really get why Chris doesn't like you."

"Thank you!" Katie exclaimed, beaming.

Sadie sniffled. "Did you have to be so mean?"

"I was only pretending, you know," Katie said, nervous. "And I was really only mean to myself." Katie tapped her chin. "Well, me and Chris. I made sure not to say anything mean about you though, Sadie!"

Sadie wiped a tear from her eye, then glomped Katie. "Aww, you're like the sweetest BFFFL ever!"

"We're both the sweetest BFFFLs ever!" Katie exclaimed, making a fist. "Come on, Sadie, we've got five more challenges to go!" Billy watched as Katie and Sadie ran off.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Billy: They're kind of weird. Nice enough girls, and I don't really get why Chris hates them, myself, but yeah. Still a little weird.

* * *

"Come on, Noah," Cody said, trying to pull Noah away from the pink seat he was sitting on, as Noah was just casually reading a book.

"Not moving," Noah stated flatly, as he turned a page in his book.

"Katie is going to be disappointed in you not helping her," Cody said.

"She has Sadie with her. She has help."

"She doesn't have you there by her side, though," Cody said. "Seriously, she'd like her boyfriend there with her."

"I value my ability to hear."

"Even Tyler's gone off to help," Cody said, pointing toward where Tyler was sitting earlier. "Besides, what if she needs someone really smart to-"

"I'm not moving," Noah said, defiantly crossing his arms over his chest.

Duncan rolled his eyes, then grabbed Noah by the shirt collar. "Look, your girlfriend needs you or wants you or blah blah right now, and you need to step up to the plate and go and help her out!"

"Like the way you're helping your girlfriend out, I suppose," Noah stated flatly.

Duncan rubbed his forehead with his free hand. "Look, my girl isn't exactly competing, and I don't agree with who she wants to win this thing, anyway, but if you know what's good for you, you'll go find her, or else I'm going to make you regret it." Duncan started tapping his chin, then grinned at Noah. "And I'm sure she's going to make you regret it worse." Duncan threw Noah down.

Noah sighed. "I suppose I have little choice. Come, my protégé."

"Protégé?" Cody asked, shrugging.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Duncan: It's not that I really care that much that Katie wins. I mean, between her and Bridgette, sure, go Katie, but it was more that those two were just annoying me, and I wanted Noah to go away.

* * *

"Welcome to checkpoint number four," Zoe said blandly as Bridgette and Courtney both arrived at the signpost with the '4' marked on it, where Zoe was waiting.

"Envelope B," Bridgette said.

Zoe blinked. "How did you-never mind." Zoe opened the B envelope and read the contents. "You must recreate a scene from _Total Drama You-Know-Who._ And I have to be impressed enough by it, but don't worry about that, I'm not going to be a harsh judge."

"A scene from this show?" Bridgette asked, blinking, then turned to Courtney. "Do you have any ideas?"

Courtney sighed. "It's hard to think of much that's happened that would be too interesting. Almost every scene coming to mind involved Leshawna being evil, and I would rather not go there, personally." Courtney was tapping her fingers on her arm, then had a huge smile come across her face. "Bridgette, I know what we're going to do today!"

"Do tell, Phineas," Bridgette said, then giggled a bit.

Courtney's face contorted in confusion. "Who?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (shaking her head in the palm of her hand) Bridgette, you're a teenager for heaven's sake.

* * *

"**One of you voted me off, one of you lousy scumbags, and I will make sure you pay!**" Courtney screamed in Bridgette's face, who was nervously backing away on the ground. "**You will PAY!**"

"Um, what's… do I want to know?" Katie asked to Zoe, as she and Sadie arrived at the fourth checkpoint.

"It's for Bridgette's challenge, so don't worry," Zoe said as she opened the A envelope.

"You're sure Courtney's all right?" Sadie asked, blinking.

"**How dare you incur the wrath of**-oh, I'm OK, Sadie-**Courtney by voting her off wrongly in such a despicable manner!**"

"O… K…" Katie said, trailing off.

"Katie, you have to do a little skit involving _Sesame Street, _apparently," Zoe said, showing her the contents of envelope A.

"Hey, Katie, do you remember that thing we used to do?" Sadie asked, grinning.

"You know it, but that used to annoy everyone at school," Katie said.

"It's for like a million dollars though," Sadie said, waving her hand dismissively. "Who cares if anyone gets annoyed."

Katie narrowed her eyes. "Let's do it!"

Katie and Sadie glomped each other and started singing to the tune of 'Jingle Bells.' "Hug hug hug, hug hug hug, hug hug hug hug-hug. Hug hug hug, hug-hug hug hug, hug-hug-hug hug hug hug hug, hug! Hug hug hug, hug hug hug, hug hug hug hug-hug. Hug hug hug, hug-hug hug hug, hug-hug hug hug hug hug **hug!** Eeeiii!" the two girls squeed, jumping up and down after they finished their song.

Zoe looked in astonishment. "OK, what the hell did that have to do with _Sesame Street?"_

"Um, 'Elmo's World,' hello?" Katie asked, in disbelief that Zoe would ask.

"Yeah, like, duh," Sadie said, irritated.

"OK, OK, fine" Zoe said, slapping her own face. "That's after my time, and frankly, I rather enjoy that I didn't have to put up with such nonsense when I was a kid. You pass, you pass, though frankly, I'd have preferred something non-Elmo."

"What's wrong with Elmo?" Katie asked, confused.

"We loved Elmo!" Sadie exclaimed.

"He ruined the show, but now's not really the time to worry about that, just hurry up and go, go!" Zoe said, shooing the twins off. Zoe then turned to Courtney and Bridgette, where Bridgette was cowering under Courtney.

"**How could you vote ME, off, you worthless little piece of**-"

"I think that's enough," Zoe interrupted, looking a bit frightened.

"Thank you," Bridgette said, immediately getting up and glomping Zoe. Bridgette then turned to Courtney. "That was pretty intense."

"Just being of service, Bridgette," Courtney said, smiling bright.

"A little too much," Bridgette said. "You could've toned it down a little bit."

"Oh," Courtney said, flustered a bit. "I just wanted you to win, and figured-"

"It's OK, really," Bridgette said. "I know you want me to win and all, so how about we head on to the next checkpoint?"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: The biggest difference between Courtney and Katie is that most of you viewers love Courtney. Though why anyone would actually be friends with her, I have no idea.

* * *

"Gotcha'!" Tyler shouted, as he pounced on Lindsay, who was merrily skipping by. "Try to win now!"

"Tyler, get off of me!" Lindsay yelled, angry.

"Lindsay?" Tyler asked, blinking, then innocently picked himself off the ground, then helped Lindsay up. "I… OK, it's going to sound bad, but I thought you were Bridgette."

"OK," Lindsay said, rubbing her forehead. "Why did you want to attack Bridgette?":

"To stop her from winning!" Tyler said, crossing his arms over his chest. "She doesn't-"

Lindsay grabbed Tyler by his shirt and pulled his face to hers. "Stop it!" she yelled. "If I'm not going to let Courtney try to sabbatical Katie, then I'm also not-"

"Courtney was trying to sabotage Katie?" Tyler asked, worried. "How could she cheat like that? I thought she was all about fair-"

"You were trying to do it too!" Lindsay yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

"I wasn't trying to sabotage Katie," Tyler said, irritated.

"No one's going to sabotage anyone!" Lindsay yelled. "Seriously, quit forcing me to be the smart one here! I'm not good at it! Get over your stupid thing with Bridgette already!"

"Not like she ever apologized," Tyler said, irritated.

"Tell her why you're upset and she will, now get over it!" Lindsay yelled, stomping her foot.

Tyler sat down on the ground and sniffled. "It hurt, you know."

"I believe you," Lindsay said, kneeling down to Tyler, rubbing her hand through his hair. "Bridgette's really nice, though. Just tell her what's bugging you, OK? That'll make it better! Promisies!" Lindsay beamed at Tyler.

Tyler sighed. "OK. But that still doesn't mean I'm not rooting for Katie to win."

"That's fine," Lindsay said, then leaned in to kiss Tyler, who started kissing back. After several seconds, Lindsay pulled away. "Right now, though, I need to go and help Bridgette. See you after Bridgette wins!"

"After Katie wins," Tyler said, smirking as he ran off, while Lindsay headed in the opposite direction.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: (looking confused, holding her map upside-down) Which one is four, again?

* * *

"Welcome to challenge number five," Chef said stiltedly, reading off a card he was holding, standing next to a sign with a large '5' painted on it, as well as a nearby desk, chair, and computer. "Please choose envelope A or envelope B for your next challenge."

Katie shrugged. "Let's try B this time. I haven't done B yet."

Chef shrugged as he opened envelope B, and read its contents. "You must write a _Total Drama Chris-_related fan… function?" Chef read, squinting his eyes. "I don't know what the hell that is."

"Fan fiction?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, and Chris said it had to be about me!" Chef barked. "A nice story about me."

Katie smirked. "I'll see what I can do."

"How can you write a story about Chef, though?" Sadie asked, worried. "I mean, he's all mean and gross and stuff." Sadie gasped, then narrowed her eyes to her friend. "This isn't going to be another dirty story, is it?"

"Tempting as a romance between Chef and Chris would be, no. Not that one," Katie said, smirking. "But mostly because I need to write this one quickly enough to race to the sixth checkpoint."

"Oh," Sadie said, putting her finger to her mouth. "Thank goodness for that, really."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: Oh, come on! It would've been so totally epic!  
Sadie: Or disturbing. Really, no one wants to read about Chef and Chris getting it on.  
Katie: You'd be surprised. I'd bet there's tons of ho yay on the two out there. Though I do find real person fiction a little squicky, myself. (Katie shrugs.) Maybe when I have more time.  
Sadie: I still find the thought kinda' gross.

Chris: (shuddering)

* * *

"I wonder where Geoff is, anyway?" Bridgette asked to Courtney as they were running to the fifth checkpoint.

"Oh yeah, he'd gone with you, didn't he?" Courtney asked, confused. "I have no idea where he is, but it is probably for the best that he is not here."

"Why is that for the best, exactly?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, you know, the kissy-kissy stuff, making out all the time, distracting you from challenges thing?" Courtney asked nervously. "It's for the best that you don't have him here as a distraction."

"He knows that," Bridgette said, irritated. "He was actually helping me a lot, then he went into the hot box for me, and I haven't seen him."

"Maybe he just hasn't caught up yet," Courtney said, as the two reached the fifth checkpoint.

"I'm guessing Katie got the fan fiction challenge," Bridgette said, pointing over to Katie, typing away fervently on a computer, with Sadie giggling behind her.

"That ain't your challenge though, fool!" Chef barked, as he pulled out envelope A, and read aloud its contents. "You must… flitter? No, flatter! You must flatter me!"

"That was seriously like the most idiotic challenge ever," Courtney said, rolling her eyes.

"Don't care, just flatter me!"

Bridgette sighed. "I'm sorry for this, Geoff." Bridgette walked over and started massaging Chef, who looked please. "What's a big, tough guy like you doing taking orders from a scrawny little nothing like Chris? You could host this show better than he can."

"Heh, you're right about that," Chef said, smiling slightly. Courtney's eyes went wide, and she slapped her own face.

"You deserve a nice break," Bridgette said, rubbing under Chef's chin. "All those meals you make for us, no appreciation… it's about time someone gave you a little-"

"You pass, you pass!" Chef exclaimed. "Just go! Startin' to get turned on by a teenager and it's scarin' me!" Bridgette smiled, then hurried off to the sixth checkpoint, with Courtney following behind.

"That was embarrassing," Courtney said.

"Hey, it worked," Bridgette said, winking to Courtney.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (shaking his head) Why Chef would complain about getting turned on by a teenager, I have no idea. Then again, when it's an ugly girl like Bridgette, I guess I can understand being a little freaked out by it.

* * *

**Chef Kills Chris! Yay!**

_One day, Chris and Chef were relaxing at Camp Wawanakwa. "Hey," Chris said, "how can we torture the campers today? Especially Katie!"_

"_I know!" Chef exclaimed, as a light bulb turned on over his head. "We can have a special challenge, where I host, and the person who kills you gets a million dollars!"_

"_That sounds awful," Chris whined. "I don't like that idea."_

"_I do!" Chef yelled, as he threw hunter's rifles to all of the contestants. "First one to kill Chris wins!"_

"_I'd better get out off here," Chris said, worried._

_

* * *

_

"Get out off here?" Chef yelled. "Don't you know proper grammar?"

"Well, I was rushed," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"The story sucks!" Chef yelled. "I don't hate Chris! Not that much, anyway. Still, no one said the story had to be any good, so you pass! Now get outta' my sight!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: In retrospect, I probably should've tossed out the fan fiction challenge when I realized Katie was in the final two, and there was a good chance she'd go harlequin on us again. Though I really detest the idea of being killed off. What'd I ever even do to Katie, anyway? (Chris grumpily crosses his arms over his chest.)

* * *

"Gomen ne sunao ja nakute," Emily had started singing, swaying back and forth at the top of the thousand-foot cliff, near a monster truck and a sign with a large '6' painted over a large '1,' as Bridgette and Courtney arrived.

"You have a nice voice," Courtney said, smiling. "I have no idea what those words meant, but it sounded pretty."

"Thanks," Emily said, beaming. "Oh yah, A or B."

Bridgette shrugged. "I'll go with B."

"B it is!" Emily exclaimed, then took the contents out from the B envelope. "You must dress as Sailor Moon, and shoot someone dressed as a monster."

"I don't like where this is going," Courtney said, looking disgusted.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Courtney: (covered in vomit) The things I do to help a close friend win a million dollars. I really hope Bridgette appreciates what I do for her. And I'm starting to wish that Geoff were with her after all.

* * *

Katie and Sadie were rushing up to Emily, as they noticed Courtney wearing a potato sack, looking disgusted. "Sailor Moon challenge?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep," Emily said while removing the contents from envelope A. "Your challenge is to drive the monster truck off the thousand-foot cliff."

Katie's eyes grew wide. Isn't that kinda', I dunno', **suicidal?**"

"I didn't come up with the challenge," Emily said, nervous.

"Well, you could always-" Courtney started, then covered her mouth.

"I could what, I could what?" Katie cried out, desperate.

"I don't know about you, but apparently I can forget who I want to win this stupid show," Courtney said, irritated.

"Come on, please, Courtney?" Katie asked, looking pleadingly into Courtney's eyes.

"Please?" Sadie asked, also looking pleadingly at Courtney.

"Please, please, please, please?" they asked simultaneously.

"No!" Courtney shouted. "I want Bridgette to win!"

"Please what?" Bridgette asked, walking back, dressed as Sailor Moon, though her hair was the same.

"Courtney had an idea for how I could drive off the thousand-foot cliff and live, but she won't tell me," Katie said, looking down.

"Because I want you to win, Bridgette," Courtney said, smiling at her friend.

"We could be fair, though," Bridgette said, smiling. "I don't want Katie to be stuck with an impossible task."

"Are you sure?" Courtney asked, putting her hands on Bridgette's shoulders. "You could lose the million dollars if they succeed in this task."

"It wouldn't be that bad if Katie won, you know," Bridgette said, raising an eyebrow.

Courtney shook her head, then sighed. "Get a big rock to put on the accelerator, and get out of the truck really quick!"

"Oh, duh," Katie said, smacking the side of her own head. "So obvious. Why didn't I think of that?" Katie glomped Courtney, and Sadie followed suit. "Thank you, Courtney!"

"Yeah, thank you!" Sadie exclaimed.

"I'm uncomfortable enough with helping Bridgette lose here," Courtney said, disgusted. "Can you please not rub it in more?"

"Oh, sorry," Katie said, nervous as she backed up, along with Sadie. "We need to find a rock."

"Can we find a pretty rock?" Sadie asked, smiling bright.

"How about just the first big one we find?" Katie said as the two hurried off.

Bridgette was prepping her vomit gun while Courtney watched nervously. "You're OK with this, right?" Bridgette asked, nervous.

"No, I'm not," Courtney said, looking fearfully at Bridgette. "If you're going to win that million dollars, though, I'm ready." Courtney gulped.

"I'm sorry," Bridgette said, as she let out a large blast of vomit straight at Courtney. "Are you OK?"

"No," Courtney said, tearing up. "But hurry and go! Seventh checkpoint, and all… I'll clean myself off." Courtney shuddered. "I do so desperately need to wash myself."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

(Courtney is still covered in vomit, and stares blankly into the camera, then shudders.)

* * *

"I really ought to get back to Bridgette," Geoff said, as Heather and Gwen were leading him back to the blue bleachers, with Leshawna following behind. "She's counting on me."

"You aren't in any condition to be helping her, now," Heather said, smirking.

"I don't trust that look," Eva said, raising an eyebrow.

"We're all in agreement, though, that it's best for Geoff to keep away," Gwen said.

"Wait, keep away?" Geoff asked, confused.

"Why do you want to keep Geoff away from Bridgette?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

"Well, he's not in good shape," Heather said.

"I think I'm better now, though," Geoff said.

"No, no, you should rest. Trust us, it's for the best," Heather said.

"Hey, that rhymed," Geoff said, grinning. "Cool."

"That wasn't really intentional," Heather said. "Really, Bridgette's going to be back soon, and you can celebrate when she crosses the-" Heather looked up at Chris, at the top of a ladder, still securing the banner on the top of the poles. "You still haven't finished this yet?"

"Everyone else was busy," Chris whined. "I had to do this all by myself."

"It's been a good source of comedy," Eva said, smirking.

"We can make it funnier," Heather said, kicking the ladder down from underneath Chris.

"That was kind of mean," Beth said, nervously.

"He also lit me on fire," Eva said, with a mean smile on her face. "I'd say he's more than had this coming for some time."

"Geoff, you should probably go and help Bridgette," Ezekiel said.

"No, he really shouldn't," Gwen said, irritated.

"But what if Bridgette loses because Geoff wasn't there to help, eh?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

"He's helping more by not making out with her perpetually," Heather said.

"Wait, that's why you want me here?" Geoff asked, irritated. "I'm not staying. I'm helping my girl!"

"No, you're staying," Eva said, forcibly holding Geoff in place.

"Let go of me!" Geoff yelled.

"If you really want Bridgette to win, you won't distract her by making out with her now!" Eva yelled.

"It's for the best," Leshawna said, nervous.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Leshawna: Though I'm still not really comfortable with that whole déjà vu feeling of helping out in the worst possible way. This… isn't like that, is it?

* * *

Katie and Sadie were watching from the top of the thousand-foot cliff, watching as the monster truck sank below, and the sharks were all ravenously eating it. "I can't believe sharks eat metal like that," Sadie said, shaking her head.

"Is that actually edible?" Katie asked, bruised and confused, and was quickly glomped by Sadie.

"I was like so, so worried that you weren't going to jump out in time." Sadie started crying a little.

"I'm OK, though, see?" Katie said, beaming, showing herself off.

"That seemed kind of dangerous," Emily said, wide-eyed. "I'm sure Lord Chris would never-"

"Would you stop calling him that?" Katie said, irritated. "Seriously, why do you keep calling him Lord Chris, anyway?"

"Well, that's what he asked me to call him," Emily said, confused.

"He doesn't really deserve that title," Katie said. "Wanting to kill people for fun?"

"Lord Chris would never do that," Emily said, horrified by the thought. "I'm pretty sure no one would watch the show if you all died. Since that would kind of mean there were no more contestants to watch."

"He may not actively want us dead, but he certainly doesn't care that much if we live," Katie said, irritated. "Chris is, like, really, mean."

"Really, really mean," Sadie agreed.

"Are you sure?" Emily asked, worried. "He seems so nice and friendly and… famous." Emily looked dreamily toward the sky.

"Well, we really have to get going, million dollars on the line and all," Katie said. "See ya'!"

"I'll be waiting at the finish line," Emily said, waving bye.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Zoe: Chris really is evil, you know.  
Emily: I really don't get why everyone says that.  
Zoe: You're too smitten to see, that's why.  
Emily: I don't really see that, either.  
Zoe: Which just proves my point.

* * *

"All right," Billy said, taking a bite out of a chicken drumstick.

"That's pretty gross, you know," Bridgette said, reeling back.

"No one's making you eat it," Billy said. "Not yet, anyway. I'd recommend you pick the right envelope."

Bridgette nervously tapped her chin. "Well, Chris knows I'd be more likely to pick B, and I have this feeling I really want to avoid the one Chris is hoping that I get, so I choose A."

"A it is," Billy said, as he opened the A envelope, and read aloud its contents. "You must advertise for our newest sponsor, Kentucky Fried Chicken."

**

* * *

**

**Confession Outhouse**

Chris: (holding a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken) Yeah, ever since the McDonald's deal fell through, I've been looking for someone new to give me a whole lot of money to advertise for them, and as luck would have it, KFC came knocking at my door. They do chicken right! They use eleven herbs and spices. Everybody needs a little KFC. It's finger-lickin' good. And all of that wonderful, delicious stuff they have! Kentucky Fried Chicken rocks! (Chris gives a thumbs up for the camera.)

* * *

"What do I have to do, exactly?" Bridgette asked, nervous.

"Say a few good things praising Kentucky Fried Chicken, and take a bite and look like it's the best food on earth, pretty much," Billy said.

"I can't do that!" Bridgette yelled, fretting. "I can't just bite into a piece of chicken! I mean, it was once a beautiful creature."

"Chickens are beautiful?" Billy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, the less pretty ones deserve life, too," Bridgette said, chuckling nervously. "Chickens aren't that ugly, are they?" Bridgette sighed.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Outhouse**

Bridgette: It really would've helped a lot of Geoff were with me for that challenge. He'd have probably been all too happy to dig into the chicken and talk about how great it was. And… that actually scares me slightly. He's a good guy, still.

* * *

"You have to put on an act for the talent show," Billy said to Katie

Katie looked at Billy like he had an alien growing from his forehead. "There is no talent show."

"Well, you need to put on an act, anyway," Billy said, shrugging.

"Oh, Katie, our dance!" Sadie exclaimed.

"But we don't have any music," Katie said, nervous.

"Well, we can always try, anyway!" Sadie said, bouncing up and down.

Katie put on her serious face. "Let's do this!"

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Billy: (with his eye twitching) That was unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe.

Sadie: Did you ever notice Bridgette was a blonde?  
Katie: (staring strangely at Sadie) Yeah… why are you telling me that?

* * *

Katie looked over to Bridgette, sitting on the ground with a bucket of chicken in front of her, looking worried. "You need help, Bridgette?"

"Well… yeah, kind of," Bridgette said, worried. "I can't advertise this junk."

"Well, you helped me out, so I'll help you, too!" Katie exclaimed, grabbing the bucket of chicken, then posing in front of a nearby camera. "Kentucky Fried Chicken is the shiznit!" Katie then took a big bite out of a drumstick, smiling for the camera, moaning in approval.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Katie: I was a little gluttonous back there… heh.  
Sadie: I wish I could eat that much.  
Katie: You do.  
Sadie: (pointing to her stomach) I mean without getting this.  
Katie: Oh, yeah. (Katie glomps Sadie.) I'm so sorry, Sadie. I'd totally trade stomachs with you if we found a magic genie who wasn't one of those evil genies.  
Sadie: Samantha was nice, wasn't she?  
Katie: Samantha? You mean the witch Samantha?  
Sadie: Oh yeah, I always get her and Samantha confused.  
Katie: Samantha was the witch. Jeannie was the genie.  
Sadie: I don't know how you can keep them straight.  
Katie: (rolling her eyes) Because her name is Jeannie, that's how.  
Sadie: One day, I'll learn that trick.

Chris: Great! Now the wonderful people of Yum! are upset because that was a line about Popeyes! Great way to piss off our sponsors, Katie! (Chris throws his arms into the air, exasperated.)

* * *

"OK," Zoe said, standing next to Noah, while Bridgette, Katie, and Sadie stood before her, and beside her, a sign with a large '8' painted on it. Nearby was a fenced-in field, as well as a tall diving board. "I didn't really catch which of you got here first, so I'm not really sure which of you get to choose the envelope."

"I pick A, she picks B," Katie said. "Last time Bridgette went against the grain, it wasn't pretty."

"I want nothing to do with A ever again," Bridgette said, nodding in approval.

"All right, then," Zoe said, opening the envelopes simultaneously. "Bridgette, you have to walk through a mine field in high heels."

"What?" Bridgette shrieked.

"And my sister thinks Chris is a nice guy," Zoe said, shaking her head. "Katie, oh no," Zoe said, shaking her head again. "You get to play the 'drop a heavy object on Katie's head' game, as Chris so eloquently put it.'"

"I don't think there really was a good option here," Katie said to Bridgette.

"If neither of you goes through with it, I don't think there's much Chris can do," Zoe said. "Though I can't promise what kind of sadistic replacement challenge he might come up with."

Bridgette sighed. "Well, if Lindsay and Leshawna could do it, so can I. Just… where are the high heels, anyway?"

"Bridgette!" Lindsay exclaimed, running up to her and glomping her. "I've been looking for you! I finally found the fourth checkpoint! And Ms. Pac-Man was pretty easy, and it was hard to quit playing after five levels, but I knew you needed me, so here I am!"

"This is the eighth checkpoint, actually," Bridgette pointed out. "And I thought you were going to meet up at the fifth one, anyway."

Lindsay looked at her map sideways. "I think this one might be the infinity checkpoint, actually."

Bridgette giggled, then turned Lindsay's map the right way. "It's an eight. You were looking at the map the wrong way."

"Oh," Lindsay said, embarrassed. "What do you have to do, or did you do it already?"

"Walk through a minefield in high heels," Bridgette said, then looked over to the fenced in area. "Is that it over there?"

"Probably, and I'm really going to kill Chris for this," Zoe said, then grumbled to herself.

"What needs to be dropped on my head, dare I ask?" Katie asked, looking none too pleased.

"I think Chris already has something at the top of the diving board," Zoe said, uneasy. "I'm guessing whatever's up there."

"Well, the obvious solution here to get that object down from up there," Noah said, looking up. "Unless Chris said it had to be dropped from that height, then we can bring it down and drop it onto your cute head from a much lower height."

"Excuse me," Zoe said, grinning, "but did you just call Katie's head cute?"

"No," Noah stated flatly. "Now I'd climb up the ladder myself, except I'm sure Sadie could do it much more easily, and I'm sure she has a lot more energy to actually do that."

"Aye-aye, Noah!" Sadie exclaimed, saluting, then climbing the ladder, ultimately getting to the top. "There's an anvil up here."

"Figures," Noah said. "Just drop it down here."

"OK!" Sadie called out, then dropped the anvil to the ground below.

Noah tried to lift the anvil, but to no avail. "Sadie, I may need your help again."

"OK!" Sadie exclaimed, climbing back down quickly.

"I need you to pick up the anvil, place it very slightly above Katie's head, then drop it," Noah said.

"Are you sure this won't hurt?" Katie asked, worried.

"I promise it will definitely hurt," Noah said. "It won't kill you from this height, though I'll get behind you to catch you, since you'll probably fall."

"That would be so totally romantic if I weren't scared out of my mind right now," Katie said, nervously looking above her head, where less than an inch away was a solid iron block, which Sadie was holding, looking away.

"Are you sure?" Sadie asked nervously.

"Yes," Katie said. "Now!" Sadie dropped the anvil, hitting Katie fairly hard, causing her to fall back. And Noah caught her.

"I think she's out," Noah said. "We should probably carry her to the medical tent."

"That's over the finish line, right?" Sadie asked, hopeful.

"Fortunately, yes, we will have to pass that finish line, but we need to hurry, anyway!" Noah and Sadie hurried off, carrying Katie, while Bridgette was walking along the edge of the minefield in Lindsay's shoes, while Lindsay was holding her hand on the other side of the fence, barefoot.

"These are pretty roomy," Bridgette said, looking at Lindsay's boots, now on her own feet.

"For you, maybe," Lindsay said, uncomfortable. "Can we please not talk about that, though?"

"I'm sorry," Bridgette said, guilty. "Thank you for helping me keep my balance, though, really!"

"You're welcome," Lindsay said, beaming, as Bridgette made it out of the minefield, and took off Lindsay's shoes, which Lindsay was all too eager to get back on.

"Where did I put my shoes, again?" Bridgette asked, scratching her head. "Oh yeah, back on the other side."

"I think it would be better not to walk back through the mine field just to get your shoes back," Lindsay said, downtrodden.

"I was going to go around, actually," Bridgette said, giggling a bit.

Lindsay hit the side of her head with her fist. "Yeah, stupid me, forgot about that way. That makes sense."

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: And more than anything else, thank you, Bridgette, for not making fun of my feet. (Lindsay shudders.) Oh, how I hate them.

* * *

"I'm all right, you guys," Katie said, still being carried by Sadie and Noah, running toward the finish line. "I can run by myself, really."

"Better safe than sorry," Sadie said, rushing along with Noah. "We're pretty far ahead, and we don't want you to get hurt on your way to the finish."

"I'm not sure… why you want… to run, anyway," Noah said, short of breath. "I'd kill to be carried around… like this."

Katie gave Noah a little kiss on his arm. "Aww, that's sweet of you guys, but really, I'm OK."

"I can see the finish line up ahead!" Bridgette exclaimed, as she and Lindsay were running forth.

"I guess we're not that far ahead?" Sadie asked, confused. "I thought we got a pretty good lead, really."

"Let me down already!" Katie shouted leaping to the ground herself, running forward. "I can't give up now! I'd really really like that million dollars!"

"Is Katie ahead?" Chris asked, from the finish line, biting his fingernails. "That can't happen!" Chris took out a detonator from behind his back, and pushed down on the plunger, causing an explosion right where Katie was standing. "That will put an end to… wait." Chris was blinking as he saw Sadie and Noah pick Katie back up, carrying her forward.

Courtney was smiling bright. "I don't really like the exact way it happened, but it does look as if Bridgette will surpass Katie and become the victor."

"That's a dude's name," Geoff said, looking disgusted.

"What are you talking about?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I've got to help my girl!" Geoff exclaimed, and got up from his seat, though Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, and Eva all forcefully pulled him back down.

"Wait here!" They shouted simultaneously.

"But what if she needs his help, eh?" Ezekiel asked, confused.

"Geoff is just going to slow her down," Courtney said, still looking upon nervously. "It's for the best, I'm sure."

"No it isn't!" Geoff shouted. "Bridge needs me!"

"You can celebrate the victory later!" Heather shouted, irritated.. "Just wait here!"

"I'm coming, you guys!" Bridgette exclaimed, only about ten meters from the finish line.

"I think Bridgette's going to win," Katie said, feeling weak as she was charred, and being carried by Sadie and Noah. "It's too bad you guys needed to carry me."

"We still love you," Sadie said, smiling bright.

"And… well… I like you, OK, but please don't make me commit to that other L-word," Noah said, smiling.

"Other L-word?" Katie asked, then smirked at Noah. "Despite my friendship with Sadie, I can assure you that I'm straight."

"What, no, I meant 'love.'" Noah said. "I do really like you and appreciate you, though."

"Aww, thanks, Noah," Katie said, smiling bright. "I'd totally hug you if I could."

"You're gonna' win, Bridgette!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Just five… six… I don't know, but you're almost there!"

"And Bridgette's in the lead!" Chris exclaimed, excited. "And Bridgette is about to become the ultimate champion of _Total Drama Chris!"_

"Must you call it that?" Gwen asked, irritated.

"Yes," Chris said, grinning. "Yes I do."

"I'm gonna' do it!" Bridgette exclaimed. "I'm gonna' do-**whoa!**" Bridgette had tripped over… well, no one could really see what she'd tripped over.

"Oh no oh no oh no get up get up get up!" Lindsay cried out, trying to pick Bridgette back up, with her fans all worried, while Sadie had just passed Bridgette up.

"What Lindsay said, get up!" Chris shouted frantically. "Get up!"

"Get Katie across quick! Quick!" Noah shouted.

"That's what I'm doing!" Sadie shouted back.

"What do I do what do I do what-**there!**" Lindsay had pushed Bridgette very hard toward the finish line, landing Bridgette right up to the finish line… but a centimeter away, in more than a bit off a daze, as Sadie and Noah crossed completely over with Katie.

"**No!**" Chris screamed, looking to the sky and stomping his foot. "No, no, no, **no!**"

Lindsay looked distraught to see Bridgette having just missed the finish line, and looked down, crying. "I'm really sorry, Bridgette. I… I failed." Lindsay said down, burying her head in her knees. "I always fail."

Courtney walked up to Lindsay and sat down beside her, patting her on the back. "You did good. You almost brought Bridgette to victory."

"But I didn't," Lindsay said weakly. "I wasn't strong enough."

"Bridgette could've won if you guys would've just let me help her out," Geoff said, irritated. Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, and Eva were looking guilty. "I could've easily carried her the rest of the way when she tripped, and she would've won." Geoff walked over to pick Bridgette up from the ground and hugged her. "I'm sorry, Bridge."

"Aww, don't be," Bridgette said softly, hugging back. Bridgette then glared at Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, and Eva. "And I know you guys meant well, at least, so… come on, we can have a group hug!" Gwen, Heather, Leshawna, and Eva nervously approached Bridgette, hugging her.

"I'm sorry that we cost you a million dollars," Heather said, guilty. "I thought Geoff would've held you back, what with the constant making out."

"Understandable," Bridgette said. "He knew how serious he needed to be this time, though-Katie! Katie won! Where is she?"

"Being treated by Chef, I suppose," Chris said, filing his nails. "Got hit pretty hard by that explosion."

"That explosion that you caused?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, I tried to help you win too, Bridgette," Chris said, shrugging. "I mean, you really think I wanted Katie to win?"

"So you tried to kill her?" Bridgette yelled, glaring at Chris.

"It didn't really seem to work," Chris said, rubbing his chin. "Maybe I needed cut back on my massages to get some extra explosives."

"You're disgusting!" Bridgette yelled, rolling up her sleeves as she stormed up to Chris.

"You're just a sore loser," Chris said, grinning deviously.

"Yes, I'm sore, thank you, but that's mostly from that weird throw thing Lindsay did," Bridgette yelled, throwing her arms into the air, then uppercut Chris, throwing him into the air, flat on the ground. "You are a horrible, miserable person!"

"That was awesome, babe!" Geoff exclaimed, throwing his hat into the air. "Just… remind me not to make you mad."

"I don't usually get that mad, so you don't have to worry," Bridgette said, glomping Geoff, then grinned mischievously. "Not too much, at least."

Eva wiped a tear from her eye. "I've trained her well."

"We really ought to go see Katie, though, and congratulate her, and stuff," Bridgette said, smiling.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Lindsay: Katie won!  
Courtney: I was rather hoping to see Bridgette win.  
Lindsay: Katie's really nice too, though, and if Bridgette had to lose, I'm glad it was to Katie. (Lindsay's eyes grow wide.) I-I mean, except for Tyler! Oh, and except for you!  
Courtney: I understood the sentiment. You really needn't elaborate.  
Lindsay: (wiping her forehead) That's a good thing, since I'm bad at elevatoring.

* * *

"Hey, you guys," Katie said, smiling as she was lying in the bed in the medical tent.

"You won!" Bridgette exclaimed, smiling. "You're a millionaire, now!"

"Before taxes, at least," Noah said, smirking.

"Oh, Noah," Katie said, punching Noah in the arm. "Really, though, I can't believe I won! I mean, considering you all just thought I was some useless annoying girl last year-"

"You still are annoying," Noah said, smirking. "Just not so useless."

"Must you tease a sick girl?" Katie asked, grinning.

"You'd be worried about me if I didn't," Noah replied.

"You make a good point," Katie answered.

"Katie, you make me sick," Chris said, contorting his face. "Still, whether I like it or not-and I **don't **like it, just to make it clear-legally, I am required to declare you the winner." Chris slammed a Gilded Chris chocolate on her bed. "Enjoy, I don't really care, screw you guys, I'm going home." Chris stormed out.

"All right, clear out, everyone!" Chef yelled, entering the tent. "That includes you, scrawny boyfriend!"

"Get better, Katie," Noah said, then leaned in to hug and kiss her passionately, which she eagerly returned.

"Now, not that I mean to cut this short, but I really should tend to the little lady," Chef said.

"Right," Noah said. "See you soon."

"You too," Katie said, smiling bright as she watched Noah leave.

"Word of warnin', though," Chef said, taking out a large needle, causing Katie's eyes to grow extremely wide in fear. "This is gonna' hurt you a lot more than it hurts me, heh heh."

"Uh… **help!**" Katie screamed.

* * *

**Confession Outhouse**

Emily: (in shock) Did... did Chris really just try to cheat and kill Katie there at the end? It kind of looked like that.

* * *

And there you have it! After fifty-four chapters and ten months, Katie is the winner! What she is going to do with the money no one knows. But with that, this story is to come to a close.

…almost. We've still got one more chapter to go to wrap things up, as well as set up the sequel, and another little surprise, so don't go too far, 'cause we've still got one more chapter to go!

And one final note: it was very difficult choosing between Heather, Lindsay, and Katie, which two would be promoted to "main character" status. Ultimately, Katie was left out simply because I knew she would be the one to actually win in the end. Katie was the intended winner from the very first chapter, so despite a few things changing from my plans since I started the story, that was always meant to be.

…yes, Katie. Who'd have ever guessed?


	55. Total Drama Izzy V

**Total Drama Chris**

**Chapter 55: Total Drama Izzy V**

All good things must come to an end, and after ten months to the day, for this story, this chapter is that end. But we've still got a few things to take care of first, like one final _Total Drama Izzy, _for Katie and Bridgette. And of course, setting up the upcoming sequel. And there will be villains. Don't expect all of those villains to be obvious, though. And don't expect everyone who looks like a villain to be one, either. But just to tease a little bit, in a way that's not really giving too much away, Nicole is definitely not a villain, and Todd definitely is one.

First of all, I want to thank everyone who's made it this far. **Kelsica2**, an incredible writer, incredible original character maker, and Trindsay lover. **Sparkling-nexis137**, who's a better writer than she gives herself credit for, and so squeeingly nice a person. **Realityshowfan, **nice enthusiastic guy who's going to have to wait a little bit for more. **The Kobold Necromancer, **whose own great stories let me to realize that such a huge undertaking as this one could be, and was indeed, accomplished! **musicaltheatregirl-dxc4eva**, the terrific Duncan and Courtney writer all Duncan and Courtney writers aspire to be! **Reading10, **who's a remarkable writer for someone so young, and I can really see going places in the future. And **CamperThirteen**, who hasn't been around much lately, but still an awesome person. And to everyone else I haven't mentioned, a lot other great people out there, thank you!

* * *

Nicole was sitting in the middle of the stage, sitting in the middle of a small green sofa, smiling bright. On the right side of the stage was a pair of bleacher-style cushioned-backed seats. On the top row, sitting from left to right, were Noah, Sadie, DJ, Geoff, and Ezekiel. On the bottom row, sitting from left to right, were Eva, Cody, Beth, Justin, and Owen. On the left side of the stage was another pair of bleacher-style cushioned-backed seats. On the top row, sitting from right to left, were Duncan, Courtney, Lindsay, and Tyler. On the bottom row, sitting from right to left, were Leshawna, Harold, Heather, Gwen, and Trent. Pacing back and forth behind the small green sofa in the middle of the stage was Chris, looking upset.

"How much longer do we have to wait?" Chris whined. "I don't know why the producers wanted me to come to this stupid show, anyway. I hate _Total Drama Izzy! _I mean, seriously, what an egomaniac, putting her name in the title like that."

"As opposed to putting your name in _Total Drama Chris?" _Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's different," Chris whined. "I'm the host! People expect to see lots of me! Izzy's just a dumb ol' regular contestant! One who did not even last very long this season!" Chris shook his head. "Seriously, why am I even here? I don't really like not getting to host this stupid thing, and I like even less that it's celebrating Katie's stupid victory!" Chris crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. "And where is Izzy, anyway?"

"She'll be here in a few minutes," Nicole said, rolling her eyes. "I talked to her ten minutes ago, and she said she was almost here."

"Why do I have to put my life on hold for her, anyway?" Chris asked, massaging his forehead. "**I'm **the host!"

"We'll see about that," Izzy said, as she cartwheeled onto the stage, landing in front of the green sofa. "But first, Nicole, I'm afraid you and I are going to have to stand today. The winner must have her space." Nicole nodded, then stood up. "I want to welcome you all to the very final edition of _Total Drama Izzy." _Izzy wiped a tear from her eye. "I regretfully inform you all that there will be no _Total Drama Izzy _next season." Izzy instantly smiled bright. "But I don't mind! It was fun while it lasted!"

"Thank goodness!" Chris said, exasperated. "Seriously, this thing was lame!"

"Enjoy the moment while you can," Izzy said sinisterly, narrowing her eyes toward Chris. "But first, I'd like to introduce our first guest for our last episode! You know her as the girl who did pretty much nothing last season, and did almost everything and more this season, give it up for Katie!"

Izzy motioned to the left side of the stage, where Katie walked out, blushing, as she made her way to the green sofa, where she made herself comfortable, half sitting up, half lying down. "I really like this seat," Katie said, pushing down on the cushion. "So comfy."

"Only the best for our little winner!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Couldn't spring for nicer seats for the rest of us, though," Noah said.

"They're nicer than those bleachers we had to sit on for yesterday's challenge," DJ said, rubbing his butt. "Those were not comfortable at all!"

"Aww," Sadie said, putting her hands together, then moved in close to kiss DJ's butt, causing him to blush. "All better."

Noah nervously turned to Katie. "Promise me that you will never, ever do that."

Katie sighed. "I promise I won't do it on international TV, OK?"

"Good enough," Noah said, wiping his forehead.

"So, is this like a celebration party, or something," Katie asked, looking around the stage in awe.

"Later," Izzy said, "but first, we have to interview the big winner!"

"Interview?" Katie asked, confused.

"Don't worry, it's cool," Geoff said, smiling. "Izzy's been doing this since she got voted off."

"I'm sorry that we didn't have time to explain what was going on here," Nicole said, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry for you face!" Chris whined, then chuckled to himself. "Good one, Chris!"

"Katie rolled her eyes. 'Why are you even here?' Katie asked," Izzy said, then laughed.

"Why are you narrating for me?" Katie asked, blinking.

"Izzy shrugged," Izzy said, shrugging. "'I've always wanted to try it,' Izzy said," Izzy said. "'Well, it's kind of annoying,' Nicole said. 'And it's not even annoying Chris that much, since he'd be more annoyed with you just talking to Katie, since he inexplicably hates her so.'" Izzy turned to Nicole, grinning wide. "Pretty close to what you were going to say?"

"Yes, actually," Nicole said, rubbing her forehead. "Not exactly word for word, but close enough."

"I'll stop then," Izzy said, then turned to Chris, blowing a raspberry. "Mostly because it's annoying you less than everyone else." Izzy turned to Katie, smiling. "So, Katie, how does it feel to be a millionaire?"

"Great," Katie said, smiling bright, perking herself up, pulling herself upright. "I mean, I still totally can't believe I actually won, but it's so awesome that I did win, and eventually the realization's going to hit me like a ton of bricks, it's just so amazing!"

"I totally can't believe it either!" Sadie exclaimed, then squeed and glomped DJ. "It's like so totally unbelievable!"

"But can you believe it?" Noah asked, smirking.

"Hush," Katie said, glaring at Noah, then resumed her bright smile. "It is unbelievably unbelievable, and in case I didn't make it clear, I cannot believe this unbelievable happening which is not to be believed!" Katie looked over to Noah, grinning deviously, then put back on her perky smile.

"Must you enjoy tormenting me so?" Noah asked.

"Yes," Katie said, "yes I must!"

"So it feels good to win," Izzy said, smiling. "You know, there are a lot of viewers out there who are going to be upset that you won."

"Finally, a voice of reason!" Chris exclaimed irritatedly.

"For some reason, people don't like you or Sadie," Izzy said, looking a paper she took out from her skirt while chewing on the end of a pair of glasses she also took out from her skirt.

"You wear glasses?" Nicole asked, confused.

"Sometimes I need them when I read," Izzy said. "It makes me look smarter."

"Not when you're chewing on them," Nicole said, confused.

"Unless you're doing it to survive," Harold said, looking proud.

"Chewing on glasses to survive," Heather stated flatly, looking unfazed. "Do explain that one."

"Once, I was left out in the bitter cold, and all I had to survive on was my glasses to eat, so I wouldn't starve," Harold said, nodding.

"Honey, I'm pretty sure you dreamt that," Heather said, shaking her head.

"Pretty sure he's talkin' 'bout those candy glasses," Leshawna said, a bit confused herself. "Also pretty sure he's exaggerating a bit."

"It's true," Harold said, with his arms crossed over his chest.

"It doesn't really matter," Heather said, massaging his shoulders. "True, not true, whatever."

"I don't know why people don't like me," Katie said, looking down, holding her hands together in her lap. "It's true, though, people don't. No one really likes me or Sadie at school, even though we're really nice and friendly, but everyone just looks at us like we're these two stupid girls."

Sadie sniffled. "It's true! People hate us, even though we're like super nice!" DJ pat Sadie's back, comforting her a bit.

"Totally nice!" Katie exclaimed. "It's like people think you're stupid and stuff just because you're happy, for some reason. I like being happy! Why shouldn't I be happy? I have the bestest friend in the whole wide world!"

"Me too, me too!" Sadie cried out.

"It's the way you carry yourself," Courtney said, nervous. "I apologize too, for I had underestimated you as well. To someone who doesn't know you, Katie, you come off as a ditzy, stupid, air-headed-"

"Please stop that," Katie said, then sighed.

"I'm sorry," Courtney said, embarrassed. "My point was that you can grate on people, but someone who takes the time to get to know you will realize what a wonderful person you are!"

"Thank you!" Katie exclaimed, beaming.

"I can attest to Miss CIT's sentiments," Noah said.

Courtney pointed her thumb to the ceiling, stretching her hand out toward Katie. "And I may have been hoping that Bridgette would win over you, but since you've won, congratulations. You've earned it." Courtney quickly pulled her hand back in, and shuddered. "Feels so artificial, doing that thumbs-up thing."

"Didn't that feel good?" Lindsay asked, smiling bright, patting Courtney's back.

"A little bit," Courtney said, looking guilty.

"Seriously, she stole victory from your best friend!" Chris shouted, throwing his hands into the air. "You should get revenge or something!"

"No," Courtney said, irritated. "She won fair and square."

"Well, Katie, let's get back to the topic at hand," Izzy said, grinning as she leaned on the arm of Katie's sofa. "You. So, have you decided what you're going to do with the million dollars?"

"Split it with Sadie!" Katie exclaimed. "I totally have to!"

"Aww, that's so nice!" Sadie exclaimed, squeezing DJ so tightly that he was having trouble breathing. "I totally would've done the same thing if I won!"

"We're such awesome BFFFLs!" Katie exclaimed, and the two squeed together, while almost everyone else covered their ears.

"Thank you for making me go deaf," Noah said, a bit shaken. "Now I won't have to hear that 'e' thing you do," Noah said, using finger quotes on the 'e.'

"Izzy is looking forward to the E thing too, but that's later," Izzy said.

"There isn't going to be that much later, you know," Chris said, rolling his eyes.

"More than you know, little man," Izzy stated in a sinister voice, glaring death at Chris, who looked freaked out. Izzy then returned to her normal smile, looking to Katie. "Do you know what you'll do with your half of the money, though?"

Katie tapped her chin in thought, then smiled bright. "I totally want to buy one of those Dance Dance Revolution machines! It'd be so totally awesome to have one of those! Ooh, and a pink Volkswagen! Those are like the cutest cars!"

"Oh, I know!" Sadie exclaimed, dreamily looking to the ceiling.

"I know!" Duncan exclaimed with unusual enthusiasm. "And you'll get to drive Noah around in your pink Beetle, and he'll be humiliated! Awesome idea, Katie!" Noah was visibly frustrated.

"I know, Duncan, he's gonna' love it!" Katie exclaimed. Noah was banging his head on the air in front of him in frustration.

"For what it's worth, Noah, I'm with you," Gwen said, then motioned sticking her finger in her mouth, gagging.

Katie waved her hand dismissively to Gwen. "He'll learn to appreciate it."

"No I won't," Noah quickly said, with his arms crossed over his chest defiantly.

"You'll probably get him to accept the idea," Nicole said, winking. "I wouldn't count on ever having him sing the praises of the car, though."

Katie smiled. "I can accept that."

"Can our big winner accept mail time, though?" Izzy asked, as she pulled out a mere four envelopes from the crack of the sofa. "You don't have many fans, I'm afraid."

"I've been telling everyone that!" Chris shouted, angry. "How come no one believes me when I say it?"

"We believe you, we just don't like you," Izzy said, grinning, then opened one of the four letters. "This one's from Timmy. Dear Katie, you're irritating, and I wish you could shut up, and stop that weird noise you make, but you're hot. How about you ditch that dead weight that always follows you around and we can-"

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!" Katie cried out, holding her ears. "I don't want to hear that!"

"I thought Katie liked perverted stuff," Geoff said, scratching his hat.

"I thought so too, eh," Ezekiel said, shrugging.

"Not from some skeez she doesn't know!" Sadie yelled, admonishing the two from across DJ. "Who wants some freakazoid stalker following them?"

"I do!" Lindsay exclaimed, raising her hand high in the air. "Super team is drawn in air, Freakazoid! Freakazoid! Runs and pounds while under there-"

"Lindsay," Katie interrupted, looking shocked, "I totally loved that show, but I don't think that's what Sadie was talking about."

"Enough about shows that have inspired me in life," Izzy said, opening another letter. "Let's get to more mail! This one's from Hallo. Dear Katie, you're annoying. Why did they ever let you on the show?"

"I wish I could remember," Chris said, tapping his chin. "I thought stupid twins would be funny on TV." Chris frowned. "They weren't."

Katie rolled her eyes. "I couldn't have been that bad."

"We kind of thought you were," Courtney said, looking guilty. "I guess we never really noticed that you might be of more use than that."

"Doesn't help how they edited us on the show," Katie said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, I **owned **that dodge ball game, but no, Chris didn't want to show any of my prowess there." Katie narrowed her eyes toward Chris. "There was a good reason I played in all five rounds! It's just too bad that me and Sadie had to cost you that challenge where we had to camp in the woods, and stuff."

"That wasn't your fault," Lindsay said, confused.

"Of course it was," Courtney said, confused. "I mean, I no longer hold any ill will toward you Katie, but I don't see how it was not hers and Sadie's fault."

"Your team kind of abandoned Katie and Sally," Lindsay said.

"Sadie, actually," Sadie said, nervous. "It kind of rhymes with Katie's name."

Lindsay stared at Sadie, confused. "O… K… I just meant that it's just as much their fault for leaving you behind as it was your fault for leaving them behind. How come you two got all the blame?" Courtney lifted her finger, about to speak, then stopped herself.

"Why Katie, anyway?" Sadie asked, worried. "Why Katie and not me? Katie would've been awesome if you kept her instead of me!"

"Just wrote down the first name that came to my mind," Duncan said, shrugging.

"I kind of liked Sadie," Harold said, shrugging. "I like a girl with some meat on her bones."

"Is that a compliment?" Sadie asked, confused.

"No it ain't!" Leshawna shouted, glaring at Harold.

"I hope that wasn't a comment about my own weight," Heather said, also glaring at Harold.

"You're skinny," Harold said, looking to Heather, who had a smile come across her face. "If you did put on weight, though, I'd accept you for it."

"That makes one of us," Heather said, sighing. Then she smiled and held Harold's hand. Gwen giggled slightly, watching.

"Back to the winner!" Izzy exclaimed as she took another envelope from the bag. "This one's from Melinda. Dear Katie, congratulations on winning the second season of _Total Drama!" _Izzy squinted at the letter. "She actually hand-wrote the words _Total Drama _in italics, too! I'm impressed she went through that effort. Anyway, let me continue, I know the new season hasn't started yet, but I know that you're going to win. I've foreseen it. Also, you may want to start something with Noah. Sincerely, Melinda."

"Wow," Lindsay said, blinking blankly. "It's like she had a fifth sense."

"Sixth sense," Courtney said, nervously looking at her friend.

"You can't fool me," Lindsay said, waving her hand dismissively. "I loved Karen Smith when I was a little girl, and she definitely called it a fifth sense."

"Gretchen was better," Courtney said, though her eyes immediately grew wide after she'd said it. "I mean, Gwen! Gwen, yes, I don't know why I just called you Gretchen." Courtney was looking frazzled.

Gwen sighed. "Fine. I'll play along, you said I was better than a fictional character, and just had a Lindsay moment."

"Thank you," Courtney whispered, smiling uncomfortably.

"Hey!" Lindsay yelled out.

"Well, here's the last one," Izzy said, opening the final letter. "This one's from Abigail. Dear Katie, I don't know too many people who like you a lot, but I just wanted to say that I think you're awesome! I just know you could've made it far if you hadn't accidentally got lost in the woods, because I could just sense there was a real tiger in there! You and Noah are awesome, and I thought I sensed some chemistry between you two in the episode where they showed the Playa' des Losers. It'd be totally cute if you two hooked up, but if you don't, then I'm taking Noah for myself! Stay cool, Abigail."

Katie tapped her chin. "I wonder if Abigail would be up for a threesome."

"No, no, no!" Noah shouted, frantic.

Katie shrugged. "Fine, but still, Noah, if I ever break up with you, I'd try to find this Abigail girl. She sounds nice."

"You know, it's funny how you hated Bridgette at the beginning of the season," Izzy said, stroking her chin, looking at Katie.

"Not one of my better moments," Katie said, looking down, twiddling her fingers.

"You like her now though, right?" Izzy asked, with a soft smile.

"She's like my runner-up BFFFL!" Katie exclaimed, beaming. "She's such a sweetie!"

"So you wouldn't mind sharing that winner's couch with her, I hope," Izzy said.

"Oh, sure!" Katie exclaimed, scooching over to the side of the sofa away from Izzy, and closer to Noah and Sadie.

"Our next guest you may remember from _Total Drama Island, _as well as _Total Drama Katie."_

"There was no _Total Drama Katie!" _Chris whined.

Izzy grinned toward Chris. "Well, since she won this show, I felt it only appropriate to name it after her, would you not agree?"

People watch for me, and no one watches for her," Chris said, pouting.

"Don't care," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively to Chris. "Our next guest got sprayed by a skunk, burned down a cabin, and wrote an entire humorous biography about her stay here in the first season, please give it up for Bridgette!" Everyone applauded as Bridgette entered the stage, waving to everyone, though tripping on one of the floorboards near the sofa, hitting her face on the sofa's arm., falling to the ground.

"Are you OK?" Geoff panicked, rushing up to her.

"A little bruised, but I'm good," Bridgette said, smiling as Geoff helped her up, and onto the sofa, and mushed on the seat with her hands. "I could get used to this seat."

"Unfortunately, you won't get to for long, so do enjoy it while you can," Izzy said, smiling softly again. "Now, everyone knows you're, like, that really nice, really pretty girl."

"Oh, yes," Nicole said, grinning. "That you most definitely are! I know you're with Geoff, though, and I respect those sorts of boundaries."

"I know," Bridgette said, smiling. "I didn't really think you'd just pounce on me and make out."

"Good, 'cause not everyone does seem to know that," Nicole said. "Not that I really shouldn't felt I needed to tell you, on the other hand… sorry about that."

"It's OK, really," Bridgette said.

"That's good," Izzy said, nodding nonchalantly. "Tyler, tell Bridgette why you want her dead."

"I don't want her dead!" Tyler shouted, taken aback.

"Tyler, I thought we talked about this not wanting Bridgette dead thing," Lindsay said, raising an eyebrow to her boyfriend.

"I never wanted her dead!" Tyler shouted, defending himself.

"I'm sorry, Tyler," Bridgette said, nervously rubbing her arm. "I don't really remember what I did, but I'm guessing it was pretty bad."

"Tyler's just being a bit of a wuss, really," Duncan said, shrugging. "But then, it's just Bridgette so who cares?"

Courtney slapped Duncan's. "I care! She happens to be a good friend!"

"'He won't be flying high tonight?' ring a bell?" Tyler asked, crossing his arms over his chest, irritated.

"Not really," Bridgette said, blinking.

"When I was voted off last season, everyone was making fun of me, just for being afraid of chickens," Tyler said, irritated. "Seriously, they're scary, mutant birds of some sort!" Tyler pointed to Courtney. "I mean, she was afraid of green jelly, and no one laughed at her!"

"She also defended you," Lindsay said, irritated. "Let's not drag Courtney into this."

"I was just trying to make a point about… never mind," Tyler said, sighing. "Point is, all you guys except Courtney made fun of me."

"I didn't make fun of you," Harold said, looking seriously at Tyler. "Chickens are particularly frightening birds, especially the elusive ninja chicken." Harold narrowed his eyes. "He's out there somewhere, just waiting, but I'll be ready for him."

"No, you won't," Heather said, holding back a giggle.

"I made fun of you?" Bridgette said, looking guilty. "I'm really sorry, Tyler. I wish I could remember, but I can't believe I'd do something like that."

"You weren't being mean, Bridge," Geoff said. "We were just funnin' the guy."

"Sure felt mean," Tyler said.

"Tyler, I'm sorry," Bridgette said, smiling. "I really don't think I'd have tried to be mean like that. Geoff's probably right, but I'm sorry if it hurt you."

"Thank you," Tyler said, smiling. "I'm sorry for being angry about it for so long, but it just seemed… everyone always said how nice you were, and then you do that, and I don't know. Thank you, though."

"Yay!" Izzy cheered, clapping. "Now everyone's happy and made-up now! So Bridgette, how weird and crazy is it to be friends with Eva, anyway?"

"It's not weird!" Eva yelled.

"Yeah, it kind of is," Izzy said. "Last season you totally wanted to kill her, maim her, and all sorts of unspeakable horrors, and now this season, you're all… make nice with her."

"I had a temper last season," Eva stated.

"You have a temper **this **season," Noah said, raising an eyebrow.

"Dude, do you have a death wish or something?" Cody asked, looking to Noah as if he were crazy.

"He does have a death wish, but I'm not going to kill him, you know," Eva said, raising an eyebrow to Cody.

"I'm not sure why she wanted me dead, really," Bridgette said. "Because I know I never said those things about anger management to her."

"Yeah, I made a mistake there," Eva said, looking down. "Bridgette deserved another chance, and she's a good person."

"Are you seriously going to spend this entire show having everyone tell Bridgette what a good person she is?" Chris complained to Izzy. "Seriously, that's lousy television!"

"The evil guy has a point," Izzy said, then sighed. "It does make for pretty bad TV, so… pie!" Izzy took a banana cream pie from her skirt, and threw it at Chris' face. "Ha ha, that's hilarious! Now that makes for great TV!"

"My face!" Chris whined, as the contestants and audience all laughed. "I can't be seen like this!" Chris ran off the stage in a hurry.

"Did that pie come out of your skirt?" Bridgette asked, going wide-eyed upon the realization.

"How does it feel knowing that you were actually supposed to be the very first person eliminated this season?" Izzy asked.

Bridgette raised a suspicious eyebrow. "You really have to ask that?"

"Ooh, touchy subject!" Izzy exclaimed.

"No, more like 'obvious answer' subject," Bridgette said. "Of course I didn't want to be the first person voted off this season."

Katie glomped Bridgette, surprising her. "I'm sorry," Katie said sweetly. "I was really, really, **really **really immature and mean. And it's not like Trent wanted to go out with me anyway."

"What are you talking about?" Trent asked, confused.

"Trent wanted to go out with me!" Sadie exclaimed.

"Uh, no, he didn't want to go out with either one of us," Katie said, looking to Sadie, confused.

"I… like Gwen?" Trent asked, confused.

"You do," Gwen said, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, comforting him.

"Bridgette, you're clumsy," Izzy said. "Do you like being clumsy?"

"OK, your questions are really getting stupid here," Nicole said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, no, I just **love **falling down on my face, bruising myself, breaking violins, burning down buildings, and losing a million dollars!" Bridgette said, rolling her eyes.

"I wouldn't say that last one was too terrible," Katie said, smiling uneasy.

"Oh, I mean, I'm glad you won," Bridgette said, smiling. "I just… well, wish I could've won, still. I really could've used that million."

"You still may, Bridgette, you still may…" Izzy said, trailing off. "Izzy has that fifth sense Lindsay mentioned earlier. And Izzy's fifth sense tells her to taste your fan mail!" Izzy produced a large bag from behind the sofa, took out one of the letters, put it in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. "Tastes awful."

"Why did you eat that?" Bridgette asked, concerned.

Izzy shrugged. "Why not?" Izzy took another envelope from the bag, and opened it. "This letter is from Miguel. Dear Bridgette, you are awesome! In fact, you, Ezekiel, and Izzy are all awesome!" Izzy grew a large grin on her face. "I like this guy. Anyway, to continue, you should've won last season, and it wasn't fair how you were voted off."

"I hope he's not too disappointed this year," Bridgette said. "Thank you, though."

"That one seemed nice enough," Izzy said, taking out another letter and opening it. "This one's from Jewel. Dear Bridgette, you suck! Seriously, what's with forcing your environmental crap…." Izzy trailed off, and looked at the envelope again. "How many Jewel Gambinos are there in this country?"

"You're kidding," Heather said, with a blank look on her face. "That letter is actually from Jewel?"

"Well, it was sent last year, so… maybe she's changed?" Izzy said, laughing uneasy.

"I'd say not," Bridgette said, crossing her arms over her chest, upset. "I hate to hate people, but it's really hard for me not to hate her."

"I think I can agree with you," Lindsay said, nodding. Heather sighed, resting her head in her hands, with her arms propped up by her knees..

"Let's get a new letter quick!" Izzy shouted, hurrying to open another envelope from the bag. "This one's from Roger. Dear Bridgette, you're hot! I don't really get why Lindsay's supposed to be the hottest one, when you're so clearly superior."

"Why doesn't he think I'm the prettiest?" Lindsay asked, scratching her bandanna in confusion. "I mean, Bridgette is really pretty, but I'm prettier, aren't I?"

"Nah," Geoff said, waving his hand dismissively. "Bridgette's totally the hottest girl here right after Heather!" Heather hid her face behind her hands.

Bridgette glared at Geoff. "Would you care to repeat that?"

"What?" Geoff asked, confused. "That you're the hottest girl here right after Heather?"

"Dude, you don't say things like that in front of your girlfriend!" DJ shouted. "Bridgette's the hottest!"

"I know," Sadie said, sniffling. "I'm just Katie's fat best friend."

"I… didn't really mean that-" DJ started, getting flustered. "I mean, you're beautiful, Sadie! I just meant to tell Geoff that he needed to not say things like that in front of his girlfriend… something like that."

"I'm beautiful?" Sadie asked, wiping a tear from her eye, then hugging DJ tight. "Thank you," she said softly.

"You're welcome," DJ said, lightly hugging back, patting her back.

"I guess he's found a girl," a tanned girl said, walking out onto the stage, with long brown hair and a great body. "It's OK. I'm glad you found a nice girl, DJ."

DJ blinked in confusion. "Do I know you?"

"Oh, that's just Clarissa," Izzy said. "Izzy likes to keep her promises."

"Can I… touch him?" Clarissa asked shyly.

DJ looked nervous. "Well, I don't-"

"Yes, go!" Izzy exclaimed, pumping her fists.

"Eeeiii!" Clarissa squeed as she raced over to DJ, glomping him, knocking him down to the ground she'd come at him with so much force, where she was kissing him a lot. "You're so totally awesome, and nice, and strong, and-"

"He's mine," Sadie said, glaring at the girl.

"Oh, yeah," Clarissa said, looking guilty, getting up and dusting herself off. "I'm sorry, Sadie. You deserve a nice guy like him. You're so sweet, and beautiful." Clarissa leapt up to glomp Sadie. "Eeeiii!" Sadie excitedly glomped Clarissa back.

"Did you have to invite this person here?" Noah said, covering his ears.

"You really think I'm beautiful?" Sadie asked, beaming.

"Totally," Clarissa said, laughing. "I mean, Katie may be the skinnier one, and she's totally beautiful too, by the way, but you're gifted in other areas." Clarissa poked at her own breasts.

"I'd still kinda' rather be skinny like Katie," Sadie said, smiling still. "People kinda' make fun of me."

"Screw them!" Clarissa exclaimed. "Have DJ sic 'em if they do that. Or Katie, 'cause I totally know she can!"

"Have to say I like this girl's attitude," Leshawna said, smiling.

"Me too," Owen said, patting his belly.

"Actually, you're kind of gross," Clarissa said, contorting her face. "Seriously, you're just reinforcing that whole 'fat people are gross' stereotype, and it's hurting all the normal overweight people like Sadie here, who I'd totally love to be BFFFLs with!"

"I'd totally love that, too!" Katie exclaimed, rushing over to join in on the glomp-fest. "We could all be new bestest friends, and we could totally use a new friend, since most people tend to avoid us!"

"Love it!" Clarissa exclaimed, and the three girls all squeed together.

"Just what I needed," Noah said, covering his ears again.

"I totally want to talk to you more after the show!" Katie exclaimed. "I should probably get back to my winner's sofa, though." Katie walked back over to her seat.

"You guys should be happy I host this thing," Izzy said. "Chris would get so totally pissed with all of these weird interruptions, but it just makes the show more exciting and fun!" Izzy popped another envelope into her mouth, but spit out the letter inside, and read the saliva-covered letter. "This one's from Stan. Dear Bridgette, you're the hottest girl on the show! Marry me!"

"I'm not that hot, really," Bridgette said, blushing.

"You're a lot prettier than you give yourself credit for," Cody said.

"More than me?" Eva asked, smirking.

"Uh, can I plead the fifth?" Cody asked. "Kidding, kidding, you're both hot in your own way."

"Did I forget to put on my makeup this morning?" Lindsay asked, tapping her chin. "So many people think I'm not the prettiest today."

"It's OK, you know," Courtney said reassuringly. "You've got more to you than just a pretty face."

"I know," Lindsay said, nodding, then pushed her breasts upward. "I have these too!"

Courtney sighed. "That's not quite what I meant."

"I was kidding," Lindsay said, smiling innocently. "I know you meant brains of some sort. And you're like really smart, so I know I really must have them if you say I do!"

"I am really smart, aren't I?" Courtney proclaimed.

"Bridgette, look at me," Nicole said, moving directly in front of Bridgette's face. "You're hot. Very, very H-O-T hot, girl! Hottest girl here hot, seriously!"

"I really don't get it, but thank you," Bridgette said, smiling. "Everyone can't be wrong, I guess."

"You're not hot," Chris said as he walked back onto the stage, looking perfect again. "I think everyone's blind, or something." Chris walked to the back of the couch, leaning on the back. "I mean, you're not absolutely hideous like Beth, Eva, or Katie, don't get me wrong about that. But you're boring! Completely plain. I mean, some guy who's desperate or stupid might like what they see, but any real man, like myself, would just spit on you if you asked me out."

"You seriously believe I would ask you out," Bridgette stated, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know why you wouldn't," Chris said, then posed. "All the girls want this!"

"I'm doubting that," Izzy said, glaring at Chris, then grinning as she dug through the bag, pulling out a blue envelope. "Well lookie here, a blue envelope! This one must be special!"

"It's not the 'eliminate Katie immediately' challenge, I hope," Katie teased.

Chris tapped his chin. "I probably should've had the forethought to specifically make that challenge a Katie-only one."

"Don't worry, Katie," Izzy said. "I have that so-called fifth sense that this is going to be really good news." Izzy casually tore open the envelope, and pulled out the letter inside. "Dear Bridgette, how would you like to co-host the next season of _Total Drama?"_

Bridgette glared at Chris. "Really, I wouldn't like working with Chris."

"Feeling's mutual," Chris said, filing his nails. "I wouldn't want to work with you, and I wouldn't let you."

Izzy poked Chris' nose. "You don't get a say in this."

"What do you mean 'I don't get a say in this?" Chris whined. "I'm the host! If I don't want a co-host, I don't get a co-host! I'm the star! It's that simple!"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Izzy went, shaking her head. "You poor, deluded little man. You actually believe that **you **are hosting the show next season."

"Of course I am!" Chris yelled, rubbing his forehead in irritation. "I have a contract that guarantees it!"

"Did you make sure you read all of the loopholes?" Izzy said, smirking. "Your contract guaranteed you to be the host for future seasons of _Total Drama Island. _It said nothing about _Total Drama Chris."_

"It's the same thing!" Chris yelled, getting angry.

"No it's not," Izzy said. "Legally speaking, as far as the contract is concerned, it's not. _Total Drama Alphabet _is **also **not _Total Drama Island."_

"_Total Drama Alphabet?" _Chris asked. "That's almost worse than _Total Drama Katie! _Seriously, of all the exciting things… an island, maybe action, maybe a world tour… you come up with something as lame as 'alphabet'?"

"We're aiming for that e/i rating in America, so yes," Izzy said. "And you're not hosting."

"Yes I am!" Chris yelled, then immediately took out his cell and started dialing. "Yes, hello! Yes, I know you didn't want me to call except for emergencies, but this is an emergency! Izzy is losing control here! She's threatening to kick me off of my own show!" Chris' eyes grew wide as screaming was heard on the other end of the phone. "What do you mean I'm a liability? I bring in ratings!" Chris' head was thrown away from the phone as more screaming was heard coming from it. "What are you talking about? People hate her, and they love me!" More screaming was heard, then a loud slam, followed by a busy signal. Chris started tearing up with a twitching eye as he dropped his phone to the floor.

"That's right, Chris," Izzy said, with an evil grin across her face. "**I'm **the new host! And that's why there isn't going to be a _Total Drama Izzy _next season. **I'm **in charge now, and security, get him out of here!"

"**You can't do this to me!**" Chris screamed, as a couple of large men picked him up and dragged him away, and Chris was going berserk . "**I'm Chris Maclaine! The ladies love me! I'm a big star! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, IZZY! YOU WILL PAY!**"

"You're not the first person to have given me that exact threat!" Izzy called out. "Or the second. Or third." Izzy scratched her cheek. "Maybe it's something I'm doing wrong, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't apply to this situation." Izzy shrugged, then casually turned to Bridgette. "Bridgette, I am certifiably insane. I need someone more grounded, more down to earth to assist me in my hosting duties next year, and I would be honored for you to host by my side."

"Really?" Bridgette asked, surprised. "I mean, it sounds pretty nice, and you're sure I'm not working with Chris."

"Positive," Izzy said, beaming.

"I'll do it," Bridgette said.

"Yay!" Izzy exclaimed as she glomped Bridgette. "We're going to have so much fun, me and you, next season! And everyone else will too, I hope!"

"Everyone else?" Gwen asked, suspicious.

"Well, yeah," Izzy said. "I have lots of cool jobs for you guys, too! I don't want to leave out my friends, and I really wanted to get all of you guys back together and make the best show we can! Oh, and we start shooting in two weeks."

"That's not a lot of time to get ready," Heather said, concerned. "I mean, we don't even know what we'll be doing."

"I will fill you all in, a little bit later, but all those details make for boring TV, which is still going on right now," Izzy said, pointing to the camera. "I assure you, though, that this will be the most fun we've ever had!"

"I don't know," Katie said, grinning. "Winning a million dollars was pretty fun, and shoving the victory in Chris' face."

"Good point," Izzy said. "Still, it's going to be fun!"

"Do I get to do anything?" Nicole asked, hopeful.

"Oh, I didn't forget you, my little Nikki," Izzy said, grinning wide.

"Please don't call me that," Nicole said, shaking her head.

"Oh, sorry, but you get the best role of all!" Izzy leaned in close, talking as if she were telling some big secret. "You're a contestant."

"A contestant?" Nicole said. "And not under Chris' rule? This is going to be awesome!"

"You bet!" Izzy exclaimed. "You'll get to compete for a possible million dollars in _Total Drama Alphabet!"_

"OK, something is bothering me here," Noah said. "The name. Not meaning to give Chris any sort of credit, but it does sound like a bad name."

"We want that e/i rating in America." Izzy proclaimed, pounding her chest. "If we want to air on broadcast TV to the kids of America without cable. Because most broadcast channels don't believe kids should be able to watch anything fun, and only put anything for kids because the FCC there requires them to air three hours of educational TV each week. So if we make the show quote-unquote educational, then we can air in everyone's homes!"

"Is this really going to be an educational show?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hell no!" Izzy exclaimed. "But surprisingly, it doesn't take much for a show to earn that rating, so we're good anyway!"

"Does the name mean anything, though?" Bridgette asked. "I mean, what does the alphabet have to do with the show?"

"Oh, that's easy," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "Chris was originally going to get twenty-two new contestants for this season, but decided it would be better to bring us back. But I was still able to find those twenty-two contestants, and interestingly, all of their names started with twenty-two different letters."

"Probably so he'd have an easier time remember who was who," Noah said, rolling his eyes. "Sure he needed all the help he could get."

"But Izzy didn't feel it was complete, so she also tried to hunt down four more contestants. And she almost succeeded," Izzy said, a little uncomfortable.

"Well, not too many people have names starting with X, so that's kind of expected," Gwen said.

"Oh, Izzy found an X contestant," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "Three even! But it turned out one hot guy with a scar was already going on another reality show, and the second turned out to be some irritating little kid who refused to wear shoes that Izzy would totally make someone like Courtney babysit for me."

"I'm not babysitting anyone," Courtney said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You won't have to, because I went with Xuxa," Izzy said.

"I used to love Xuxa when I was a kid!" Lindsay exclaimed. "She was so much fun, and so pretty, and-"

"It's a different Xuxa," Izzy said. "I still need to get Xuxa here. "Izzy's already brought most of the contestants here already, who you've already been seeing."

"I knew something was up," Heather said, raising an eyebrow. "I really don't like that R-contestant very much."

"Rachel," Izzy said. "She'll probably be the first person voted off, I agree, but someone's got to go first. Might as well have someone everyone's going to hate so that the better people get to last longer, right?"

"That makes sense," Heather said, nodding.

"Wait," Courtney said, confused. "So why twenty-five contestants? Why not twenty-six?"

"Izzy is going to be arranging for our E to be coming very soon, and personally, I really like her! She's like so nice, getting to talk to her, getting to know her! She'd totally be my BFFFL if I were allowed to play favorites!"

"I thought I was your 'BFFFL,'" Nicole said, smirking. "Not that it really bothers me much."

"I dunno'," Izzy said, shrugging. "You just don't seem like a BFFFL-type of person."

"Good call," Nicole replied.

"Anyway, Izzy had a whole lot of trouble with M. M people just don't exist, or something. I mean, except for this weirdo named Margo, who specifically wanted to be an intern, and not a contestant." Izzy shrugged. "But it's just as well. M is unlucky, anyway."

"I've never heard that," Cody said, confused.

"I dunno'," Owen said, scratching his head. "Thirteen's unlucky, and M's the thirteenth letter, isn't it?"

"Exactly, my ex-man," Izzy said. "Everyone knows how evil thirteen is, so it's really for the best."

"I guess that… sort of makes sense?" Gwen said, confused.

"Superstitions themselves make no sense," Courtney said, shaking her head in the palm of her hand.

"Well, you can help with all the legal mumbo jumbo," Izzy said, smiling. "That will definitely be one of your-I mean, if you're going to come back."

"It'll be so much fun!" Lindsay exclaimed, glomping Courtney. "Please, please, please?"

Courtney sighed. "Well, I guess I can study while I'm-"

"Yay!" Lindsay exclaimed. "We can have, like, slumber parties!"

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Geoff exclaimed, throwing his hat into the air.

"Slumber parties are usually girls-only, you are aware," Courtney said, raising an eyebrow.

"Aww, Geoff's fun," Lindsay said, looking down.

"Yes he is," Izzy said. "Anyway, in conclusion, Katie is the big winner for _Total Drama Katie, _Bridgette and I are going to be hosting next season's _Total Drama Alphabet, _which we'll be starting tape two weeks, and I hope you all join us for that, bye-bye!" Izzy waved for the camera, and continued until the lights dimmed.

"I don't suppose we can rig the game for Rachel to lose?" Heather asked.

"Watch her win just to spite us all," Gwen said, rubbing her forehead.

"Legally, we can't rig this thing," Izzy said. "I do hope you three will be back to help with next season, though. I like your camaraderie together, and I know just how to use that!"

"We'll think about it," Heather said.

"Well, there's a party in the main lobby for us," Izzy said. "And Nicole too, I guess. You can join us, too!"

"Thanks," Nicole said, smiling.

"OK, where the hell is Chris?" Emily yelled, storming onto the stage, with Zoe nervously chasing after her.

"We already kicked him out," Izzy said.

Emily looked down. "I'm too late to tell him off, I guess. I can't **believe **how stupid I was, just following him blindly!"

Zoe looked uncomfortably at everyone in the room. "Emily and I had a bit of a discussion. She was concerned after the trying to kill Katie with the bomb incident, and I seem to have finally gotten through to her."

"He is dead when I find him, **dead!**" Emily screamed as she stormed out of the room, with Zoe following closely behind.

"I'm sorry about that," Zoe said, smiling uncomfortably. "I'd better keep a close watch on her for now, though!"

Izzy scratched her head. "OK, that was really weird." Izzy started stroking her chin. "Ooh, Lindsay! I'd just remembered something!"

"What?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Do you remember Alexis?" Lindsay had a blank look on her face. "The girl who didn't want to be mean to you in the McDonald's challenge, but Chris kind of threatened her if she didn't?"

"Oh yeah," Lindsay said, nervous. "She seemed so nice, but then she just turned against me."

"First of all, she feels terrible about that. And second, she'll be with us as an intern in a couple of weeks. Give her a nicer role on the show, and all."

"That's… is that good?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"It is," Courtney answered, smiling.

"And… I guess we're all just about finished here," Izzy said, sighing, then put on a big smile. "Party time!"

"Whoo hoo!" Geoff exclaimed, as he raced with Bridgette out the door, excited.

"It's going to be, like, so awesome, getting to know you guys!" Clarissa exclaimed, squeeing with Katie and Sadie as they left the room, with both Noah and DJ covering their ears.

"Want a quick make-out session before we get to the party?" Cody asked, raising an eyebrow as he and Eva were exiting.

Eva looked around nervously, then grinned. "Race you to the bathroom!" Eva darted off, leaving Cody behind in the dust.

"Hey, no fair head start!" Cody called out, chasing her.

Soon enough, everyone had left, except for Gwen, Heather, Harold, and Leshawna, still talking about things, and Izzy, casually watching, waiting for them to leave, which after a few minutes, they did.

"Ooh, Heather," Izzy said, grabbing her shoulder as she was leaving, "I have something I need to talk to you about. Something special. I have to go someplace after the party, a very important meeting to get a certain E-named contestant on the show next season, and I was hoping you might want to come along with me. I've gotten the higher-ups to help arrange a meeting for you, and I've heard that she would really love to see you."

"Who?" Heather asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

* * *

Heather was sitting in a cold, grey, windowless room, sitting in a hard chair on one side of a small, ugly table. Heather was visibly shaking, waiting. After what felt like forever, a short, fairly pretty girl with short blonde hair sat down on the other side of the table, wearing ugly prison garb.

"Hi," the girl said, scared.

"Jewel," Heather stated, glaring at the girl.

"You remember me," Jewel said, very uncomfortable. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry," Heather said, irritated. "Is that all?"

"Well, yes," Jewel said. "I don't really have any excuses. I was mad with power, and I didn't handle it well at all. I mean, not to say you were the nicest person when you were at the top, but compared to me, you were an absolute saint. And you didn't try to kill anyone. That's definitely a point in your advantage"

Heather started tearing up. "I really miss the old days. Back when you, me, and Taylor were all inseparable."

"I do too," Jewel said, crying. "I hate this place! I just… I didn't know what I had. I just kept wanting more! More! More! I was awful, deplorable… I don't know." Jewel sighed. "I'm sorry for turning the school against you like I did."

"I kind of needed a wake-up call," Heather said, smiling slight, still crying.

"I wish I could've gotten one before this," Jewel said, miserable.

"I can't believe Chris got away with using you like this," Heather said, sounding angrier.

"I promise killing people was not Chris' idea." Jewel hung her head in shame. "That was all me."

"He shouldn't have even allowed that possibility in the first place!" Heather shouted, angry, but then softened her expression. "You know, deep down, I feel it's my fault, too."

"It's not your fault," Jewel said.

"I kind of abused you when I was at the top," Heather said, looking guilty. "If I treated you better, maybe I could've prevented this."

"Coulda' woulda' shoulda', it's my fault," Jewel said, then looked around. "And maybe a little bit Chris', but we were both really immature, stupid girls. And both of us were quite intelligent despite being so incredibly stupid at the same time."

"Funny how that works," Heather said, smiling a bit, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Izzy…" Jewel said, trailing off. "I was sort of surprised that I could hurt her like I did. I said things that seemed to really affect her. Really, really deep, and I'm pretty sure it was accurate, but just so… cruel. I deserve to be here, really. I wish I could apologize to her."

"I don't think Izzy's stayed too mad at you, since she actually set up this meeting for us," Heather said, smiling. "I'll be sure to tell Izzy what you said, though."

"Thank you," Jewel said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Also, I said some truly awful stuff to Bridgette. I don't even know how to take that stuff back. I meant most of what I said. I don't like people like her."

"Bridgette's a sweet girl, really," Heather said.

"I wish I could've known her," Jewel said. "Or at least, I wish I never opened up my stupid mouth. She didn't deserve that, even if I really didn't like her, and now, I feel bad that I said anything."

"But not bad about trying to kill her," Heather said, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course I feel bad about that!" Jewel shouted. "Did I really need to specifically state that part?"

Heather giggled a bit, then wiped another tear from her eye. "I really do miss you, Jewel. Even knowing the monster you've turned into, my old friend is still in there."

"Thank you," Jewel said, smiling, tears gushing down her face. "It'll be a long ten year wait, though, but I might get out earlier for good behavior. Which, honestly, is going to be hard in this place." Jewel shuddered. "Can you please write to me, though? I can't tell you how lonely I am here, and just hearing from you would help make it slightly bearable."

"I would love to," Heather said, smiling, wiping another tear from her eye.

"Thank you!" Jewel cried. "Surprisingly, there's already been one person to write to me, a Mallory Lamy. Seems like such a sweet girl."

"How did someone even know you were here **to **write?" Heather asked, curious.

"Well, the case kind of got a lot of publicity, you know the whole _Total Drama _thing…" Jewel said, waving her hand along as she was talking, "all of Canada heard about it while you were all competing."

"Start wrapping it up!" a guy shouted from outside the room.

"I'm sorry I couldn't stay here longer," Heather said, getting up from her seat.

"I'll get used to it eventually," Jewel said, getting up from her seat as well, and approaching Heather to give her a hug, and Heather hugged back, both crying profusely. "I'm really sorry, and I'm really going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too," Heather said, patting Jewel's back. "I hate you being here, really, but I can't tell you how nice it is to be friends again."

"Long-distance friends for a while, at least," Jewel said, collapsed onto Heather. "Thank you."

Heather had a big smile, though she was still crying. "You're welcome."


End file.
